UnNews:Zimmerman shot black kid and became obese to be a cop

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4 July 2013

A Trayvon Martin supporter with Skittles over his mouth, symbolizing that Trayvon Martin liked eating Skittles but now he's dead.

George Zimmerman, the man accused of shooting Trayvon Martin, has admitted that he shot the black youth and became obese to try and make it into the Sanford Police Department. "I thought that was what it took," said Zimmerman in a written statement. "If I could shoot a black kid and get away with it, and then could gain 115 pounds, the police department would take my application seriously."

Experts have noted that there are serious flaws in George Zimmerman's logic. "He was attacked, sustained injuries, and is claiming he was defending himself. A police officer would never have waited until being attacked to shoot Trayvon," said Melina Mason, a former Sanford police officer who was fired in 2006 for not shooting a Puerto Rican at a country club.

The ongoing reality TV show created around the case, called The George Zimmerman Trial, can be seen on CNN and MSNBC between 5:00 AM and 2:00 AM Eastern Time.