UnNews:God changes profile picture in response to tragedy
Saturday, November 14, 2015
Heaven, the Outerverse -- A series of ISIS-led terrorist attacks took place Friday evening in Paris, killing 156 civilians and leaving 352 injured. The tragedy created an uproar on social media, many people arguing petty politics, while many others simply wanted to know why? The hashtag #PrayForParis inevitably went trending, as prayer is generally the only option for the powerless to seek comfort in light of global suffering. On Saturday morning, the Lord God indeed responded to the millions of prayers by customizing His Facebook profile picture to be mashed with the flag of France.
Posting a status update immediately following the change:
| “ | Often mortals wonder if I hear their cries of pain, if their tears mean anything to Me, if I even care about the vast suffering of a broken world torn apart by war and hatred. Well My children, I want you to know I do care, and I'm proud to show My solidarity with the victims of last night's attack. | ” |
The Old Man then returned to His FarmVille game, making sure His sheep had been fed and His corn watered.
God's twin brother Allah has yet to be reached for comment, no matter how many times we poke Him.