UnNews:Forest animals seen singing, dancing after Koch brother dead
Forest animals seen singing, dancing after Koch brother dead
- Editorial Staff
- 23 August 2019
After the death of billionaire oil baron and GOP donor David Koch, flora and fauna around the globe were seen singing and dancing, as if in celebration, according to eyewitness reports. Horses and mules were seen gaily trotting, songbirds were tweeting, foxes and rabbits holding hands, even the wind seemed to hum some ephemeral tune, resembling a 1950s big-band recital. Crabs from Christmas Island even began dancing in formation, and locals swear they can hear the pulsing beats of some overwrought EDM song.
David Koch (along with his brother Charles) were famous for their lobbying against renewable energy, their hydra-like influence over the Republican Party, and their odd habit of coating their skin in the jellied remains of infant foals.
In other news, funeral plans for David Koch have been put on hold after mobs of skunks absconded with the late Koch brother's body, and dumped it into a giant pile of skunk turds.