UnNews:British Peace Officers to be Armed with Fortnite Shock Hammers.

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Friday, January 6, 2023


British Peace Officers will soon be armed with enormous Fortnite Shock Hammers.

Police in England will soon be armed with large purple hammers similar to those found in 'Fortnite' and be given free reign to 'bash criminals to Kingdom Come' according to Scotland Yard.

"Crime rates have increased at an alarming rate. No more 'Mr. Nice Bobby'-we're taking back our country one smash at a time!".

Fortnite, a popular videogame among the youth of the world, contains the large weapon.  Particularly useful in close combat, one smash on or even near a thug catapults the delinquent trebuchet-style.  Neer-do-wells will think twice about causing any further trouble after experiencing a good wallop. 

"We're hoping it will be a game changer.  If not we move on to boar-mounted Officers shooting exploding arrows from high powered glowing bows.  Either way, we're expecting Victory Royale."

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