User talk:TKF/Archive7
Vanity Label[edit source]
Wanted to clarify what kind of articles get this label. I've been looking at other pages which have it and seem to have more clear abuses. Sure the page I invented has a fictional character but that doesn't mean it doesn't have grounding in reality or is filled with only my own desire for self-glorification. Would like some input boyee. --User:Lionlionlion
My forum topic[edit source]
You big fat meanie face. You deleted my forum topic with John Lenin in it. Now I'm gonna go cry, talk about how much I hate my life, & cut myself. The SOAD Fan (Ryan C.) 13:14, 16 May 2008 (UTC)
Norman Bates ='([edit source]
Dude, you deleted my Norman Bates article. I was working on that for three weeks. I'm so angry right now.
- As far as I know, it was only three sentences long, and created today in less than five minutes. Plus, it was completely random. Make sure your articles are longer in sentences than the number of weeks you've worked on them, in the future. --
TKFU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 
00:54, 10 March 2008 (UTC)
My first article ='([edit source]
You deleted my article Your mom's mom. I believe this to be unfair and a bit prejudgmental. The article was kind of work in progress, with and as I only learned about the work in progress template seconds ago, you can't blame me for not putting in the template. Also, I got the complex linking in the wrong order. I would be quite chuffed if you would reconsider, I would be very chuffed if you changed your mind, and I would be slightly chuffed if you gave a reason for the huffing. Phalanxia 22:17, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
A Favor...[edit source]
Could you please unlock User:Monika/Marty/Marty_revision4 and User:Monika/Marty/Marty_revision8? There's no hurry since they article functions fine without them, but it's unnecessary messiness and I don't like unnecessary messiness. Thanks again. --monika 16:37, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
Plugh[edit source]
Have you no sense of humo[u]r?!!! "Nothing happens here" is a classic response to plugh in Colossal Cave! It must be there for posterity's sake! Even Wikipedia has "Nothing happens here" on the "plugh" page!!! 71.10.48.39 20:15, 4 February 2008 (UTC)
- The Wikipedia article also has more words that "Nothing happens here". -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 21:23, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
Chav[edit source]
Thanks for locking the article, you just did everyone a big favour.
I'll try to sort out the revised version sometime, but I can't be bothered right now
- No problem, I've been waiting to see someone fix that for a long time. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 21:23, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
Thank you![edit source]
Thank you for unbanning me, I promise I will be a much better member from now on, and I'm sorry for being a total noob in the past, I read the rules on how to be funny and not just stupid, and I am making useful contributions as we speak!
Sincerely,
Who wants cookies?[edit source]
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Hinoa has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. |
—Hinoa talk.kun 23:25, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
Rough Pubs[edit source]
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Rabbi Techno is sending you this undoubtedly delicious beer to say thanks for voting for Rough Pubs! From Rabbi Techno |
User talk:81.179.79.167[edit source]
That'd be me, only not signed in...I have about three minutes online so no time! RabbiTechno 81.179.79.167 22:04, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
Top 3 of January[edit source]
Just a gentle reminder to lock the voting page, now that we've passed the 15th. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey) 11:34, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
- We started about 2 days late so I decided to lock it on the 17th, so I'll do so tonight. Sorry for the confusion. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 17:34, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
Christopher Meloni Thanks you and snubs the Academy![edit source]
Chris doesn't have a fancy graphic for you, but we hope you still a ceept this as thanks for making his dream come true! Thank you again for helping get Why?:Does Christopher Meloni not have an emmy yet? featured!--Dr. Fenwick 18:18, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
Just to let you know[edit source]
I will not be able to poopsmith for a bit... Will be back in about 5 days... MrN 
01:21, Feb 21
- Wait, you're a poopsmith?! Why does no one ever tell me these things! Have a nice 5 days, anyway. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 01:22, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
Autoblock[edit source]
You forgot it again. Unblock #26562 --CharitwoTalk 05:28, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
Please ban my IP[edit source]
My IP is shared by idiots. Being a school IP, it is shared by idiots. Please ban it. Please. Please. 142.22.16.50 19:29, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
- You may also want to get rid of this. (Sorry, I was watching RC when I saw this...I'm not a stalker(I am a stalker(Nothing says 'I love you' like my name burned in gas in 50-foot letters on your lawn.).)!) - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon
(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:36, Feb 22
Why Did you huff "Baby eater"?[edit source]
What was wrong with this article? It WAS funny!
- Not enough content. We like lots of effort put into articles here. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 00:52, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
Can you come to IRC?[edit source]
Or even come to IRC? ~
22:17, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
New complimentary section header by Mordillo[edit source]
hello i am hellsjanitor.i was wondering if u would not be totally offended if i recreated the page "Galpoy" i was going to continue work on that page until i had made something.then u and the other actually funny people:)could come along and edit it all u wanted.
Loads of thanks[edit source]
Ah, TKF. You freely admitted on IRC one time to strongly disliking me at one time. In fact, I believe your exact words were "I distinctly remember thinking you were a giant dick." Regardless of how well-endowed I actually am, I won you over with my something and then you voted for me in VFS. For that I thank you wholly. And, for the love of God, stop being such a sycophant!-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 04:17, 1 March 2008 (UTC)
- I'LL TRY K -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 04:46, 1 March 2008 (UTC)
Thanks be to you![edit source]
| Thankings from Led Thanks muchly for the vote for me on VFS. Now to abuse my powers... |
Thanks again for the votes, in both phases of VFS. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon 
(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:55, Mar 1
Thanks![edit source]
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Cyber Ninjastar For voting for me at RotM. Thanks mate. –SysRq
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~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 22:19 Mar 1
Late Thanks[edit source]
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OUI! Necropaxx's belated thanks go with you for voting positively on Siege of Bordeaux. Remember, les français ne sont jamais au dessus de dérision! Translate it yourself, je suis trop de fatigue. |
• • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 00:51, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
Question for the sake of askin'[edit source]
Hi there TKF, hope life is treating you well. Anyway, enough small talk, a question, if I may. Specifically, re: Uncyclopedia:VFH/Rap, which you closed as "already featured". Uh, when? It's not on here, and it doesn't have the featured template... I'm all for getting the thing off the queue, but surely for a more valid reason? Or did I miss something (I have a history of missing things. Busses, usually). Anyhow, I don't see it as a major issue, it just confused me so I thought I'd mention it in passing. I'm off now to do what my boss thinks he pays me for. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:10, Mar 5
- Gah! That's my fault. When I reverted it, I reverted it to the reversion before the reversion before it was featured, because the "view featured" version on the featured template was the reversion of the reversion before the template was added, and all that jazz. Fixin' now. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 22:50, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
A question from an IRC user[edit source]
Someone (Nekami) has messaged me in IRC asking that I unban him. I told him I'd leave a message on your talkpage about it, and now I have. He claims he was mentioning BENSON as part of an injoke, and isn't a sock of anyone in particular, or for that matter, anyone at all. He claims to have read HTBFANJS and the Beginner's Guide, and so asks to be unbanned. Now I've relayed his message, you can talk to him about it here.--<<
>> 02:23, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
- I had the same sneaky sensation TKF. Are we paranoid or simply right? HEY! LOOK OUT FROM THAT SSSFSEJWKH! ~ 09:50, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
- I had the same sneaky sensation TKF. Are we paranoid or simply right? HEY! LOOK OUT FROM THAT SSSFSEJWKH! ~
Belated Thanks[edit source]
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After months of poop handling and getting a wee bit tired Your UotM vote acted as Red Bull. |
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Extra thanks for the nom, you Jew :)
Brigadier Sir Mordillo 
GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S
You. IRC. NOW.[edit source]
please ~ 21:43, 9 March 2008 (UTC)
Spang.[edit source]
Special:Contributions/70.77.12.95
I think the Spider-man stuff was pretty good. But then, what do I know? I may have a tumah, after all. ItCouldBeATumah 22:19, 11 March 2008 (UTC)
- What? -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 11:23, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
Meh![edit source]
Redirect[edit source]
Hey, Froggy, could you please redirect my old user page (User:Uncyclopedian) to User: Uncyclopedian Again? If you do, thanks. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me! 19:51, 17 March 2008 (UTC)
Thankies[edit source]
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Cheers! Under User thanks you gingerly for your vote at VFH. He celebrated with a small but competitive Hyperdrinking tournament, but by virtue of waking up in his own bed, narrowly failed to set a personal best score at the event. His head still feels bloody sore though! Thanks again! |
--SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 15:48, Mar 21
Hello.[edit source]
Yeah, I'm not sure if you know me, but I'm a Sysop at Wikichan. I've noticed your numerous edits and you've impressed me as an experienced wiki editor (of which I became more impressed when I saw your contribution to Uncyclopedia). Anyways, I'm here to ask for help; over the past week, we've received a crapflood of vandalism. As of the moment, they have made a statement: "Give us what we want and we will leave your 'wikichan' alone." They further threatened us by stating "If you fail, we will bring in more vandals." From what we know about the vandals, they were one named "VandalCorp" and according to the ED article "Vandalize.us , they've taken many websites. So it seems like we're pretty much up against a persistent threat with plenty of experience.
This is why I'm asking for your help. For a while we've been getting a handle on the vandalism, but they recently started using advanced methods by using several accounts and really messing with the image files. All I ask is that you would help us keep watch over the wiki and revert anything that would noticed as blatant vandalism. You do not have to and I'll respect that, since you've left Wikichan alone since sometime in February. We'll appreciate it if you volunteer; this would mean a lot to us. Bot 21:42, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
- Unfortunately, no; I'm just a lowly Sysop. WikiSysop is the only b'crat on the entire wiki and he hasn't been active for a while now.
- Anon edits are already entirely disabled.
- Not sure how to change user rights.
- Tried to get WikiSysop to install checkuser, but he seems to have forgotten about/didn't care for it.
- Thinking of getting him to give another b'crat status to another Sysop for get some more admins.
- Also the WikiSysop is trying to get a bot for WIkichan, so that's probably why he's not on for a while now.
In all, there's really no apparent way to reconfigure the site to our bidding. The only thing we could do is play with the pre-programmed tools that were included.
- By the way, so you know of a tool that allows for rapid rollback of a user's edits? Bot 22:15, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
- Oh, and there's not "semi-protect" option either. Only stuck with "Default", "No anonymous editors" (useless), and "Sysops only" (too resrictive). Bot 22:17, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
- Well look at that; either it's been unplugged, a vandal DDoS, or the vandal pulled the plug himself. Not good. Bot 04:30, 22 March 2008 (UTC)
Abu Sayyaf Article[edit source]
Hi, I saw that you deleted the Abu Sayyaf article. I was about to edit it today and finish it, but i forgot the under construction tag was only until March 25.
Can you please give me the deleted article and restore it in my user page, if possible? I hope its not too late.
Thanks.
--Gilgal1
(Talk to me bitch!!!) 02:25, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
Ridiculously late thankings[edit source]
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BOO!! Ha ha ha, I gave you a bit of a scare, did I? That's alright, studies show that scares are an important part of the camp experience. By the way, thanks for choosing Lake Spooky for your summerly dose of fun-fun-fun! |
| Thanks for voting! |
- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:50, Mar 29
lol u suxx[edit source]
Niice. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 16:21 Mar 31
Banned again[edit source]
Hey Froggy, you, uh, banned me for 6 months the other day. This isn't a criticism, but did you not realize that my "vandalizing" Dr. Skullthumper was all in fun and games? If you want to put me in the office or whatever, would that be a solution? (P.S. Thank you for voting on my stupid articles!) • <Apr 01, 2008 [22:04]>
- Dear Cajek:
- It was a joke. I asked the admins on IRC to ban you for as long as possible.
- — Sincerely, your favorite doctor
- It was a joke. I asked the admins on IRC to ban you for as long as possible.
- Or at least I hope it was. Otherwise this'd be seriously embarrassing. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 22:10 Apr 01, 2008
Jeez! No wonder I felt slightly annoyed when I was banninated. Was Led in on it too? He unbanned me... If he was, applause for going overboard! • <Apr 01, 2008 [22:13]>
- I wasn't, actually. I just unblock you every once in a while on impulse. Sometimes you aren't even blocked. Mostly you are, though. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:38, Apr 1
Herman Li[edit source]
CVP, Never will be funny?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Herman_Li
Particularly
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Herman_Li#This_is_an_encyclopedia
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Herman_Li#Trivia
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Herman_Li#.22In_addition_to_liking_men.2C_Li_has_given_guitar_clinics_multiple_sperm_samples_and_now_has_over_100_children.2C_demonstrating_and_teaching_several_self-developed_techniques..22
Just rip some of this shit off, get creative.
Deleting stuff[edit source]
Hey up TKF, hope things are good and stuff. Anyway, I noticed you deleted Crimson Lizard according to the votes. Fancy getting rid of the redirect at Crimson lizard (redirect) (delete) as well? Ta much. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 11:19, Apr 4
- Fancy'd!-- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 11:30, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
Hurrah, you're alive![edit source]
| Congratulations, my son!
Unlike that naughty little friend of ours, the Big Bad Wolf, you have survived Ash Wednesday! As such, you have been awarded this "Get Out of Hell Free" card. You may use it only once*; use it wisely. Keep in mind there are over sixteen thousand recorded ways to sin, and the list is growing all the time. And God's just itching to practice his aim, if you get my drift. Have fun**! *Not valid for "the biggies," such as homosexuality or masturbation. Sorry. |
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"FYI, Somalia is IN Africa, Mr. Smartypants reviewer"[edit source]
Oh! Haha! So sorry, I kept thinking of Samoa when I was reading the article. My apologies, *blush* Mightydandylion 
(talk) Fk 01:40, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
Are you adopting noobs?[edit source]
Hello. My name is Barry O' Leary and i'm new to this site. I was wondering if you were currently taking on apprentices (or noobs as they are affectionately called)--Learimus 23:56, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
Tanks[edit source]
 Unfortunately Campaign Leaflet can not keep any of the promises it made campaigning as the $10 offered by the Pizza place down the street was just too good an offer not to fold for. But still, $5 Pizza - thats tonights dinner for YOU![1]
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Also if you ever want an image photoshopped I'll do it for you :D --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 
07:27, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
Heinous hates everyone equally.[edit source]
Hey, Punk!
You voted to get the UnScript featuring the most violent detective in the world to the front page to blow some heads clean off a few newbie shoulders. I'll keep this brief considering that I've been sitting on my ass for the last minute talking to you instead of carving holes into that punk Dexter.
So thanks for the vote.
~ 
Jacques Pirat, Esq. Converse : Benefactions : U.w.p.
17/04/2008 @ 03:17
Help! Top ten of March is out of control![edit source]
Yeah, so the top ten of March needs to be protected and it's almost as if it's out of control. Any chance you could help? Thanks -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey) 20:05, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
Any way to get my huffed article back?[edit source]
I didn't know I had to upload a template. And I'm not sure why exactly you deleted it, so I would like to know why. I am sorry if I did something wrong. Really truly. joielin 24:18, 20 April 2008 (UTC)
All right[edit source]
To start off, you seem to have Voted For Deletion to Celebrity Deathmatch. It's like that, so if you don't like it, don't bother deleting it.
Second, NarutoWiki made Celebrity Deathmatch. You seem to have deleted his article to piss him off. He'll be really unhappy when he sees that you have deleted his article.
Third and MOST IMPORTANTLY! Do NOT get involved with the guy who keeps attempting to ruin the CDM list! XxPanzerOutlawxx and Link 486 is trying to stop him, but you seem to delete it just to make sure that you saved his life. Not cool, man. Not cool. You give Celebrity Deathmatch a bad name. 21:03, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
- Wat -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 04:42, 25 April 2008 (UTC)
- Did'nt you read my message? What do you think I'm from? Finland? Sweden? 11
- 29, 27 April 2008 (UTC)
- First of all, I deleted it because it was voted for deletion by the whole community, not me. Plus, I'm an admin and anything I do is law. Also, I have nothing to be afraid of for the prior reason. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 13:44, 27 April 2008 (UTC)
- You should only be afraid of fear itself. And hamsters. They're pretty bad. ~ 13:52, 27 April 2008 (UTC)
- Aw man, I thought this topic was going to be about TKF's catchphrase. Aaawwwllll riiiiighhhhtttt • <Apr 27, 2008 [13:53]>
- You should only be afraid of fear itself. And hamsters. They're pretty bad. ~
- First of all, I deleted it because it was voted for deletion by the whole community, not me. Plus, I'm an admin and anything I do is law. Also, I have nothing to be afraid of for the prior reason. --
- Finland was my first guess, yeah. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 23:40 Apr 27
It does'nt matter if you're an admin. You can't treat good users liek dirt. Celebrity Deathmatch is about fight spoofs of the real one. But, I guess it was VFD just to piss off NarutoWiki cause Celebrity Deahmatch sucks. it's like that, so stop whining. Also, NarutoWiki told me that admins are noobs who can't even think straight. 70.45.57.100 21:31, 29 April 2008 (UTC)
- Maybe you don't understand this, but a bunch of users voted to delete the page. Don't believe me? The link's right here. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:49, Apr 29
- I'm the one who's whining? o_O -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 22:23, 29 April 2008 (UTC)
From one whore to another[edit source]
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Flight of the Conchords[edit source]
I just wanted to thank you for putting up that leggy blonde video on your talk page! I got into the Flight of the Conchords because of it. Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 00:06, 28 April 2008 (UTC)
thx[edit source]
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FOOM
Thanks for voting for Why?:Burn a Furby? on VFH. Now get out there and incinerate some of those suckers! |
– Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 19:13 Apr 28, 2008
Thanks[edit source]
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Well, well, well. I never would have guessed that TKF was stupid enough to vote for this tripe! Goes to show you never can tell. |
| Thanks for voting! |
Thanks for your vote. I'd have made a cooler template but I'm too stupid. -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:08, 30 Apr
Heya[edit source]
You know what the deal is with Flappy woo-ha? It has like 817 links to it... Weren't the redirects kind of funny? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 07:16, 1 May 2008 (UTC)
- Yeah, I use that as an example in my welcome message...I really should do something about that... - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 10:51, May 1
WOTMTKF[edit source]
Good job, Frogz! We love you, even if your family and the rest of the world doesn't! :D • <May 01, 2008 [12:57]>
I guess it comes full circle...[edit source]
It was you who got me into reviewing (when you had a ton up there), so I guess this was kinda that which made me go off on the tangent. Also, congrats on WotM! –—Hv (talk) 1/05 16:12
NotM - Thanks[edit source]
TKF, you there? Come out where I can see you, I come bearing gifts! There you are! You are a VERY clever person. Why? Because you voted for me and helped me become NotM! Well done. Give yourself a pat on the back.
To reward you, I'm giving you a YTTE goodie-bag. It is a collection of YTTE memorabilia I've just pulled out of my pocket...That's one scrumpled piece of paper, a dead slug, three unidentified hairs, a strain of the bird flu virus, a morally ambiguous Olympic torch, two cows and various assorted, unexpected items. Enjoy!
YTTE would also remind you that he's still got a few miracle toothbrushes left. Toothbrushes have so many uses, and these miracles ones are great! Buy one now for a massively reduced price and enjoy their increased ease-of-use feel. 98% of the people studied said their teeth were saved by these total protection tooth brushes! Get your hands on one now!
P.S. Sorry that was so long and rambling, sorry there's no picture. You'll just have to imagine that this is a short, concise, beautiful thank you template. Also I'm hoping I'm not breaking any unspoken rule or etiquette of Uncyclopedia by giving you this thank you template!
from YTTE.
Thanks! - 16:07 2 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTE
- You know I never actually voted for you, despite my efforts to get you requalified? :O -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 18:44, 2 May 2008 (UTC)
- Oh yes you did!. "Yes time to vote" - I believe that's you... You were the second person to vote! - 19:19 2 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTE
ROTM[edit source]
Hey TKF! I'm sorry to hear that: would you be so kind to tell me what about my reviewing style is of particular concern--if not all of it? I appreciate any thoughts! Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 01:57, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
- It's just all big and new and different... sorry, I'm just a nativist D: -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 02:31, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
- Oh, lol, well I'm relieved. But I'm not sure I understand what being naked has to do with reviewing. *badumtisch* lol, sorry. Mightydandylion
(talk) Fk 03:08, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
- Oh, lol, well I'm relieved. But I'm not sure I understand what being naked has to do with reviewing. *badumtisch* lol, sorry. Mightydandylion
I am bored[edit source]
Is a website kinda like digg for bored people, as far as I can tell. Letting them have their page doesn't cause any harm, but does bring a good few hundred new viewers to the site (at least - their mention has almost 5000 views in the few hours it's been up), something it's generally agreed upon is a good thing. There's a rush to edit it right now, but it'll die down in a while, and we might end up with some new readers, and hopefully new contributors. And one more article about a website, which more than a few of them are actually putting effort into to be good, but I think that's worth it. But not if we delete their page outright and ban everyone. Let them have fun now, and everyone benefits. And then there'll be peace and love in all mankind. Or two small parts of it anyway. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 02:25, 05 May 2008
- I'll give it a week to die down. If it keeps being a vandal magnet, I'll semiprotect it. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 02:39, 5 May 2008 (UTC)
- Yah, that was the plan, though semi-protecting it now would mean not even the well-intentioned new people could edit it :) It's on my watchlist too, so I'll be keeping tabs on it just in case it suddenly turns into cocks everywhere. Now I'll just hope it doesn't get deleted and everyone banned by the next admin that logs on... • Spang • ☃ • talk • 02:53, 05 May 2008
Really really really really really really late thanks[edit source]
I felt like making one after aaaaaaaaaaaaall those months --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:49, 5 May 2008 (UTC)
Thanks for voting[edit source]
Thanks for voting for that article about the sun, or something. Yeah, so I was too lazy to make a template. That doesn't make this message any less generic though. -RAHB 08:24, 6 May 2008 (UTC)
Re: Xbox Live[edit source]
I do have Xbox live but I didn't request you, sorry :) --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:54, 9 May 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost Sunday Edition: May 11th, 2008[edit source]
In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!
May 11th, 2008 • Issue 2 • Scene XII
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Wikia staff finally locates blockage in the Internet tubes: Spang's talkpage  After endless days of searching itself, Wikia has discovered the source of all its problems. "It's not DPL," Wikia's local sexy janitor, who wished to remain anonymous, told reporters. "It's not those damn ParserFunctions either, or forums, or even Chuck Norris." When asked what the real cause of Wikia's distresses were, our source remained tight-lipped by stapling his mouth shut. Which was probably a bad idea, considering he ended up writhing in pain on the floor, bleeding all over the nice Wikia rugs. Thankfully, the UnSignpost has a trained doctor on its staff, who was sensible enough to call for medical help. After the sexy janitor was revived, he said "rar." When further questioned about the source of all Wikia's woes, he finally admitted it was Spang's talkpage. "Uncyclopedia user "Spang"'s refusal to archive his talkpage is slowly clogging up the arteries of the Internet," says a technical forum at Wikia. "The talkpage in question has already managed to crash all three of the computers in Australia." Upon being asked to archive his talkpage, Spang reportedly said, "No." When Uncyclopedia was asked to comment, the site had this to say: "FU SPANG". UnSignpost Releases First Issue  May 8th, 2008: Uncyclopedia develops a new fungus... a newspapery one. "Through all the shockporn and Oscar Wilde references, we made it!" Founder Dr. Skullthumper said at a recent press conference. At the conference in Skullthumper's backyard, editor-in-chief Cajek, wearing a traditional light blue Mongolian Toga and screaming at birds, had more to add. "I would like to thank all the writers involved. Thank you, you gods of men. You captains of the human experience." Police are investigating the use of strong hallucinogenic drugs during the making of the first issue. So far, the investigation has reached the top of the Unsignpost empire, when detectives found Dr. Skullthumper forcing his staff to squirt automotive door-lock de-icer up their noses to "enhance the creative joo-joo." Local police then ordered the paper to rescind two award-winning articles from its May 8th release. Two of the most hardened criminals on the UnSignpost staff, Meatbone and Spider, are currently planning revenge. When asked if UnSignpost was, like the Daily Show, the Onion, or Uncyclopedia, popular enough to parody itself, Cajek said "No. Obviously not. We can't say we suck yet, or else people would be like 'yeah, they do suck!' We have to wait until people like us. Then, when they read us making fun of ourselves they'll be all like 'this paper ROX!'" In the meantime, the paper promises to not make fun of itself, and will stick to meta-parodying instead until "someone important says it's okay." Heavy metal music found to be beneficial when reverting vandals In a study involving Squiggle, RAHB, Cajek, Fnoodle, Dr. Skullthumper, and Starnestommy, in which they fought diligently for Uncyclopedia through the night, heavy metal music was found to be the best for the purpose of "ass-kicking". After sprinkling some magic over the statistics, they automatically became true. Cajek's Corner
Today, we're going to make a standard Uncyclopedia article, Cajek-style. You will need:
Now, we'll combine the elements together into something that might be called an "article". In reality, all you have to do is whine for a good few pages of text, then sprinkle the annoying elements - sparingly. Add headlines and split up paragraphs to disguise your rant as a well-formatted article, and you're done! Skull's Skullery
Hi kids! Today, we're going to travel with me, Dr. Skullthumper, through a normal day at Uncyc!
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~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 04:39, 11 May 2008 (UTC)
Long-delayed thankings[edit source]
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Err... Hey, sorry I'm, uhh, a little bit late on the thanks for this thing... I've been really, really, busy. Anyways, thanks for voting, and, with any luck, those delusional fools will let me out of this hell-hole soon. |
| I'm going to burn you all! |
Hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder, amirite? - Don Leddy the Crunch 
(Nyah, see, nyah!) 23:54, May 12
UnSignpost: May 15th, 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper Made Entirely From Recycled Internet Memes
May 15st, 2008 • Issue 2 3
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The Bible Finally Catches a Break  For years... or whatever... Conservapedia has attacked Uncyc for being too liberal. Today, Uncyc publicly derobes itself, and reveals its patriotic side. From now on, "Uncyclopedia" will be renamed "Falwellapedia" in honor of the late pastor, Jerry Falwell who died May 15th, 2007. Unsignpost spoke with the founder, Modusoperandi, in his isolated forest bunker. "I hate how the liberals treat us!" Modus shouted, along with his two followers. "Don't they see that when they make fun of us, the lord rolls over in his soon-to-be-resurrected grave?" The conservative propagandabot Fbooble is scheduled to "purge the site of any left-wing statements" by the end of the week, soon after it gains self-awareness and joins the Republican party. "HUMANS, CLOSE YOUR NOISE HOLES AND PAY ATTENTION!" Fbooble proclaimed at a recent press conference. "THE DEMOCRATS AND ALL THOSE OTHER LIBERALS ARE NEARING THE END." Fbooble, whose titanium wristwatch glistened in the afternoon sun, held up a copy of the Falwell Children's Bible near the conclusion of the conference and said "ALL PRAISE JEBUS, AND HIS INVINCIBLE ARMY OF DISCIPLES!" Although Fbooble is unclear on the details of religion right now, it promises to become ultraconservative when it does. Not all Uncyc users are happy with the transition. Although we could not find anyone who actually called themselves a liberal, we did manage to vandalize a hybrid just to equal the score. Unsignpost promises a lucrative year via advertising revenue for the Republican National Committee and a weekly "Republican of the Week" section. Changes by Fbooble will include replacing all swear words, such as ****** and ***********, with the word "daffodil," and deleting all articles. Shockporn deemed unworthy will be replaced with this image, and quotes not from the bible will be deleted with extreme prejudice. All non-American users, such as that one guy are to be called "fags", also with extreme prejudice.  How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid, one of the hallmarks of Uncyclopedia, has reached the top of the heap. Mordillo, an administrator who will be the least offended when we attribute absolutely false quotes to him, recently said of the page "Finally! Although I've never read it, I hear it's full of fatherly, patronizing advice for those newbs that write those articles I'm constantly huffing!" Mhaille, who has the most linked-to userpage on Uncyc, was slightly more angry at the recent news. "I'm only in 10th place? What the f**k?" While spying on Mhaille from under his bed, the news staff heard language that no human being was ever supposed to hear. Thankfully, the staff was smashed on Listerine, and may have just made up the entire event. Mhaille commented that "No, they didn't make it up, and if they do it again they had better bring enough Listerine for everyone." The user responsible for the 36,000+ links to How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid wishes to remain anonymous, but said to our reporters through a wiretap "I just got too carried away. I wish I could take it back, but I can't, and that's no reason for threatening my family in this way! Oh jeez, I hope you get this message, Uncyclopedia. All right, I'm hanging up now, and I hope you're not angry. *BEEP*" UnSignpost Releases Second Issue May 15th, 2008: Uncyclopedia has developed an open wound... a newspaperish one. Riding high on their success, Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek have "deployed their golden parachutes" and are "planning to pack up our shit" and "get the hell out of here." Wearing his trademark solid gold sweatpants, bought with the advertising from the first and second issues of Unsignpost, Dr. Skullthumper said "It was fun, I guess, but now it's time to move on. Like a wild hyena, Unsignpost has left its mark. There are no more stories to cover: no more people to attribute fake quotes to." Cajek, munching on a shish kabob of bald eagle babies, had nothing to add except maniacal laughter as he threw thousands of dollars into the air. Unsignpost, bankrupted by the two owner's antics, is planning to make the paper a paid subscription, unless something kooky happens, in which case it won't. In addition to subscriptions, Unsignpost is having a luau at Mike's house to raise money. "Oh, it'll be soooooo exciting!" Mike said. ...You know Mike. Anyway, Mike continued, "There'll be a silent auction, and a limbo contest, and a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey! Oh! So exciting!" With the proceeds, Unsignpost hopes to add a "Week Box of the Week of the Week" section and a mascot. Maybe a shark. Protein folding: The latest in computer entertainment "Well that's great," you say. "So I'm helping compute protein folding, a never-before-possible situation to model on computers, and thus helping cure some of the most misunderstood diseases to strike humankind as well as advancing the knowledge of the human race into parts of science that were up until recently perceived as impossible. So what's in it for ME?!" You, yes you, will get the excitement of watching proteins fold in your very own home! "Wow!" exclaims part-time F@H user Dr. Skullthumper, "did you just see that? Did you just SEE the way that blue thing collided into that gray thing? Oh man, it was amazing! And in super-slow motion, too!" Other users have given the program similar reviews, describing it as "utterly transfixing" and "better quality entertainment than mitosis!" You, too, can join in the fun and the frenzy of the world of those wacky proteins - while saving the world! |
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~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 01:08, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
I didn't tell you I was unbanned[edit source]
Oops, my bad. : P
The thing is, I don't know if I'm really unbanned or if it's just temporary. Do to technically, I shouldn't really be unbanned. I'm waiting to hear Zombiebaron's judgment on the issue. – Kip > Talk • Works •• 
12:39, May. 15, 2008
FUCK YEAH![edit source]
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FUCK YEAH! Congratulations for voting for Washed Up 70's Rock Band! We know all of our fans out there appreciate us, and wish for us to continue making music! Also, each and everyone of you will be receiving a free copy* of our new album, Last Chance to Make Money Before We Die! *Not actually free. Or an album. You'll be lucky if you even get half a song. |
Thanks for the vote - UnIdiot | | Talk | Contribs - 19:04, May 15
Free Images?[edit source]
Are there any? I need help with the articles UnNews:US Govt. encourages Perverts! and Admin Treats. They need images and I do not have a way to tell if a image is SAFE to use or not, getting ME BANNED(Hope not) or worse. Thanx.Alien Hunter 19:11, 16 May 2008 (UTC)
- If it doesn't say Copyright on it or on the site you get it from, it's free. We here have the Fair Use policy, which opens up virtually anything for our disposal. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 19:17, 16 May 2008 (UTC)
Da-yum, suh, you have one long title[edit source]
How'd you ever get so big?
Um, apparently some people have left? I'm sorry, I left two months ago, and I would like to get a little caught up perhaps? If you don't mind and all. Th...that is if you remember who I am......
I'm terribly sorry.
Sincerly,
--
Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER 04:39, 20 May 2008 (UTC)
- No mind, RDB. So glad to see you back. Now get to work. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 23:44, 20 May 2008 (UTC)
Would you be so kind[edit source]
As to have a word regarding this: [1]. I think this is vanity, and the author does not appear to be taking my request, and message left on the article talk page seriously. Thanks TKF. MrN 02:37, May 21
UnSignpost: May 22nd, 2008[edit source]
You'd be crazy not to listen!
May 22th, 2008 • Issue 4 • Par 6
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Oldest Uncyclopedia Article Discovered  Renowned Uncyclopedia historian Spangle Gay Glittersprinkles, has discovered the oldest non-Uncyclopedia related article ever written. "The fact that pie was the first article really opened my eyes. It really did. I see it all now: Uncyclopedia, Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia... the construction and future of these wikis have been laid out before me." When asked what he meant, Spang said that, upon reading the first version of the article Pie, the future of Uncyclopedia was revealed to him. The version presently up is "but a pale shadow of what it once was." The fabled first version of the article is, according to Spang and fellow UnArcheologist TheLedBalloon, "The DaVinci Code of Uncyclopedia." One of the oldest contributors, 68.237.62.152, is said to be the creator of the fabled text, but could not be reached for comment... maybe 'cuz he was gettin' laid or somethin' cool like that. "If only the original version had survived!" Said Spang's lead balloon, who gained sentience upon glimpsing the article. "I want to know the significance of the Norris! The secret meaning behind the Wilde! The hidden power of the grue! I want to know the secret of the memes!" "First of all, how did a balloon become an administrator? Oh, right, this is Uncyclopedia." Said long-missing founder Chronarion. "Second of all, the current article you have up there is, although not as mystical, still sorta mystical... For example, look at that quote at the top! CLASSIC Oscar Wilde!" Questions arose as to why the original version was deleted in the first place, but Chronarion, who only made an appearance in one of our writer's drug trips, merely cackled, turned into a tomato, and vanished in a cloud of LULZ!!1. The mystery surrounding Pie continues, and Uncyclopedian historians are still seeking the truth. ...BUY A SUBSCRIPTION TO UNSIGNPOST to see further developments! Following Third Issue, UnSignpost Wins All Sortsa Awards n' Shit At the annual Uncyclopedia Signpost awards banquet, held every year in Dr. Skullthumper's backyard, the Signpost was the clear winner of the night, garnishing all 149 awards in all 144 categories. The press was not invited to the gala, but the Unsignpost has heard that several Uncyclopedia celebrities were at the event. Mike - you know Mike - said, "Oh yeah, we got Chronarion and Save the... whatever it was... We got 'em all! We even had Famine! Even though he still hates us, he still bothered to show up and drunkenly berate the guests! In fact, I think he's still in there, berating the furniture!" Unsignpost writers all agree that it's not pathetic to give yourself an award once in a while. We do our chores! We've been kicked around! Why don't we, the writers, get any recognition? The special boobie-prize, The Feel Okay About Ourselves Award for 2008, was accepted by Cajek on behalf of the writers instead of a paycheck. "Finally I get a god damned award." One of the writers dramatically grabbed the award away onstage and, crying, started screaming at the award itself. "WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU?!? YOU BASTARD!!" Unsignpost is planning to make the awards banquet biweekly, in honor of the fact that the writers are extremely lonely, and just want a way to talk to loads of people without having to listen to "feedback". Newest Uncyclopedia Article Discovered Yes, the newest article, Jacob Zuma, created just at the time of this writing, is the newest article to date. No! Wait! It's RETARDIS. Wait, no, it's Broomstick. Oh whatever, the point is that we found it, and when it's deleted in three seconds, Unsignpost gets first gloating rights.
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~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 20:20, 22 May 2008 (UTC)
Thanks for the welcome[edit source]
Just wanted to thank you for welcoming me a few minutes ago. Given that I joined in late 2005, however, I'm unsure what signal this was meant to send. My first thought was that the admins back in 2005 looked over my early/only contributions and, finding that they evinced some actual knowledge of their subjects and contained no references to short-lived internet phenomena, judged them totally unsuitable for Uncyclopedia. Thus they hoped that by ignoring me I would go away; when this failed, they resignedly sent you.
I certainly hope this isn't the case, but the only alternative I can see is that this place is run by a pack of shiftless buffoons who don't know the meaning of the word "manners" (or of most other words). I can see by the scrupulously tasteful design of your user home page, though, that you devote a great deal of your clearly heterosexual time to Uncyclopedia. Since you were kind enough to greet me, I hope you don't mind if I harass you in the future with my stupid questions. --George 01:56, 25 May 2008 (UTC)
- No problem. You seem like a funny guy, I hope you retroactively enjoy your stay. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 02:14, 25 May 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: May 29nd, 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper Not Secretly Controlled By Mordillo, We Swear!
May 29th, 2008 • Issue 5
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Uncyclopedia Second Most Active Wikia Site  According to local Wikia staffmember Sannse, Uncyclopedia is the second most active site, next to Halopedia. "Yep. People are more interested in Halos than Uncys. I've never really bothered to look at either site, so I'm not sure why one is more active than another, but I'm sure it's because Halopedia is superior." Reporters on-site have looked into the rumors. Apparently, Halopedia is in fact not about halos, but instead is an entire wiki... devoted to a video game. "Oh lord, this is embarrassing," said Master Chief, the main character of said video games. "I thought I could keep this under wraps for a while longer, but you people in the press are like fucking vultures. WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!" Apparently Halopedia's nearest competitor, Uncyclopedia, is some kind of "humor wiki" meant to induce laughter. "Uncyclopedia's laughter is nothing compared with ours," said Evilpedia's founder, User:Dr. Doom, "Our laughter will ring all throughout Wikia, and then: THE WORLD!". Other statistics include the nerdiest wiki and Furwiki, the most disturbing wiki. Uncyclopedia is neither the largest wiki (Wookiepedia), nor the most active (Halopedia), but it does come very close to first in both categories. Who wants to be first place anyway? Nobody wants to win all the time! Like Unsignpost's father used to say: "You learn more from losing than winning!" and really, that's all that matters! ...AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! BASTAAAARRRDDSSS!!! Following Fourth Issue, UnSignpost Does Lame Clip Show After having not seen his boss for a few days, Cajek, or as his friends call him, "Cuntjek", and his team of writers have been forced to rely on past issues and a clip show in article form. "Don't look at us that way!" said that one guy we were talking about. "A few days ago, when Skull was around, I was only editor of the fetish section, now I'm in charge of the whole thing. Jeez, I hope Skull is okay..." The lame clip show was said to be almost entirely from the first issue, when the Unsignpost was "cool", and before the fetish section took over the whole paper. According to reports to this newsroom, the clip show article included the "weekbox of the week" from issue 1 that instructed Cajek and Skull to slather humor juice on an anonymous reader, and the "Goatse Challenging Gap" from issue 2. "Oh shit, what else we got?" Carjack screamed across the newsroom. As of this issue, the huge portrait of Dr. Skullthumper has been prayed to for nigh two weeks since his mysterious disappearance. Fnoodle, who usually serves coffee to the writers (albeit very angrily), has gone on a quest to find his former master. So far, no word of Skullthumper's whereabouts have reached the press.
Letters to the Editor I am a female student from University of Nigeria, Lagos. I am suitable yrs old. I'd like any person who can be caring, loving and home oriented. I will love to have a long-term relationship with you and to know more about you. I would like to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this transaction. Well, my father died earlier two months ago and left my mother I and my junior brother behind. He was a king, which our town citizens titled him before his death. I was a Princess to him and I and my brother are the only people who can take Care of his wealth now because my mother is not literate enough to know all my father's wealth behind. He left up to USD $27,350,000.00 dollars (TWENTY SEVEN MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND US DOLLAR) with a security company, and I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my father's kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town. That is why I felt happy when I saw your contact which I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me secure and invest this money. I thereby need your help in bringing the box contaning the money out from the security company, based on your reply I will furnish you with more details on how we can proceed. I am ready to pay 10% of the total amount to you if you help us in securing this money and another 10% interest of Annual Income to you, for handling this business for us, which you will strongly have absolute control over. If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund, kindly reach me and I will let you know the next step to take towards actualizing this transaction as quickly as possible. Please, note that this transaction is 110% risk free. I look forward hearing from you soonest. Yours sincerest, Miss Lady Princess Irreverent
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 03:02, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
Banning Dr. Skullthumper[edit source]
Please don't. I need him for my own nefarious purposes. Thanks? • <1:41, 01 Jun 2008>
Late thanks![edit source]
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Thanks, son! But Uncle Sam didn't thank me! All you bastards can GO TO HELL!! Eh, got any change, son? I sure hope no one writes an incredibly offensive article about me. Wait, where ya goin, son? Thanks for voting for Veteran. |
~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 18:43 Jun 3
Please read[edit source]
This. Cheers. MrN 19:28, Jun 3
UnSignpost: June 5th, 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper That Contains Neither News Nor Paper.
June 5th, 2008 • Issue 6
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Sixth Issue Relies on Guest Writers For the sixth issue of Unsignpost, guest writers from outside the fold have been chosen to write a bunch of stupid crap. Among them are the illiterate administrator Zombiebaron and reformed drug mule ThePaleOne. The community's outcries were heard soon afterwards, probably. Jack Phoenix, a respected Wikia staff member, said of one of the articles "Nobody cares about Cajek trolling Wookiepedia anymore. In fact, I'm kind of ashamed of Uncyclopedia for doing something like this. It's like I'm at a well-written version of ED." The Unsignpost staff, full of miscreants and malcontents, hung its collective head in shame and went to the corner for a sit down. Qua, who wanted to be in this issue of Unsignpost to whore his userpage, issued a statement at the press conference located at his Mayan temple: "Why didn't they do an injoke article on the fifth issue? Am I the only one who cares? Where have the lols gone, my friends? Where have the lols gone?" In response, the Unsignpost sent a secret "Fifth Issue Of Unsignpost" article directly to Qua, where it will be housed until his death. The Unsignpost writers, who have had a cut in pay since the leaving of Dr. Skullthumper, are now relying on the work of random people found on IRC for their inspiration. We now present to you an article in the Unsignpost by somebody else about a guy who works at the Unsignpost... /me headdesk [note: "me" refers to the entire Unsignpost staff]
It has been reported on #uncyclopedia that Cajek, our resident editor, has been banned from the "Star Wars Wiki", Wookieepedia. There has been an outrage in the star wars community, as they find Cajek to be a charming and respectable fellow [ed note: Cajek did NOT write this!]. Even us here at the the UnSignPost believe so, ( but don't tell Cajek that! ) [ed note: I SAW THAT! YOU'RE OFF THE CASE!] I spoke to one Cajek fan, Darth Vader, to see what kind of impact this has had on the community. "It really is tragic to see him get banned," said a distraught Vader, with tears dripping from his helmet, "I just don't understand it! How can there be no Cajek?! We've seen his greatest and sometimes his somewhat lameness. But we will be EPIC FAIL without him" Vader's emotionally wrecked state shows the devastation caused by the Wookieepedia senate's unruly vote. I just hope Palpatine wasn't behind this, I voted for him too! I sat down with another fan, Jar Jar Binks, to discuss this radical move. "Mesa think its outrageous! Mesa no like Wookieepedia afta this! This beein worse than <insert name here>'s bombad faggotry!" And indeed it is. Personally, I denounce the Leftist Bias of Wookieepedia and their slander against Cajek. What did he ever do to them right? Personally, I hope Something really bad happens to those immature, pubescent, oxycotin sniffing children. In other news, 52% of Uncyclopedia agrees that Cajek should be set on fire on Sunday's Luau against 45% for drowned in his own discharge. 3% were undecided.
Alright. So. This is going to be cool. Because. You see. Therefore. Once upon a time. There was this really big house. Inside the house was a monster. Oh. This is a newspaper. Well, in that case, the monster was operating a grow op. Right. And the monster was named Skullthumper (because this is his fault, really, when you deconstruct it down to the last proton). Yeah!!!! But. Going onwards and upwards. The cops busted the grow op. It was fucking huge, man. THIS IS NEWS. IN THE UNSIGNPOST.
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 05:20, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
Back to black[edit source]
Hey, it's been a long time since I saw you anywhere other than ?pedia. Yup, I'm back on Uncyc after like 3 months or something. Hi! --~FAG! +chatline "if it ain't broke, break it" (CUN·VFH)
Excuse me dear[edit source]
- Now hold on there. Before I revert your attempt to have an article that I wrote deleted, yet again, I feel we may be in need of a little tête-à-tête, and, since you are not on IRC, your talkpage shall be the place. Now, first off, as you've probably already seen (whilst archiving the VFD) I did not write the article as a statement or as an anything: I wrote it as an article. Surely you've written articles before? I sat down, had a little inspiration, and decided to write. This is what came out, and I find it funny. I do not find it "random". And, I do not know how to fix whatever it is about it that you find "random". So, let us begin with that. How can make my news item less of whatever you seem to not like? I'd for sure like to know. -- The Zombiebaron 01:34, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
- It's nothing personal against you, sorry if you interpreted it that way (it must have been easy to interpret it that way), it's something very personal with the article. I've deleted maybe hundred of articles that were pure, random crap. When I logged on and I saw the link to your article on the main page, I thought it was some kind of joke, or vandalism or something. That article, once you take away the fancy formatting, is just a giant word salad with extra dressing. If you can read your article and say it isn't random, you aren't being sincere. I would have deleted it on the spot if I hadn't had such an affinity for pretty formatting, so instead I put it on VFD. I would have put an ICU on it, but you would have just removed it and carried on and gotten us both pretty angry (like right now). Also, I forgot about the day limit, but it's been excepted before by non-admins so I figured I'd fight a little fire with fire. You weren't intentionally abusing your status, but it's like Kip said. A piece of crap written by 42.901.348.91 is not the same piece of crap written by Zombiebaron. I wanted to destroy that sentiment that I discovered within your article. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 01:42, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
- Oh, well, I'm glad to hear that you had noble intentions at heart. It is to bad that you cannot see what I see in the article. -- The Zombiebaron 02:00, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
- It's nothing personal against you, sorry if you interpreted it that way (it must have been easy to interpret it that way), it's something very personal with the article. I've deleted maybe hundred of articles that were pure, random crap. When I logged on and I saw the link to your article on the main page, I thought it was some kind of joke, or vandalism or something. That article, once you take away the fancy formatting, is just a giant word salad with extra dressing. If you can read your article and say it isn't random, you aren't being sincere. I would have deleted it on the spot if I hadn't had such an affinity for pretty formatting, so instead I put it on VFD. I would have put an ICU on it, but you would have just removed it and carried on and gotten us both pretty angry (like right now). Also, I forgot about the day limit, but it's been excepted before by non-admins so I figured I'd fight a little fire with fire. You weren't intentionally abusing your status, but it's like Kip said. A piece of crap written by 42.901.348.91 is not the same piece of crap written by Zombiebaron. I wanted to destroy that sentiment that I discovered within your article. --
UnSignpost: June 12th, 2008[edit source]
Just like Grandma used to make!
June 12th, 2008 • Issue 7
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Cajek banned - New, shittier writer assigned to this stupid job
Recently Cajek, an Uncyclopedia user who has been labelled as a mystical creature, was been given a one month ban by the council of Wikia. Users who feared that UnSignpost would not be written or delivered. But Qua, who is currently in a state of shock, said that "Cajek was a good guy, I didn't expect him to get banned for a month. He was about to help me, I don't know what he was going to help me with but he was going to help me with something.". Many Uncyclopedians that are known have a hold a grudge against Cajek celebrated his recent ban saying "While he might be back in only a month, we should take the time to celebrate and rejoice a Cajek-free environment."
 It has been reported that Flumpa, Uncyclopedia's very own pimply faced ginger-nut has left Uncyclopedia forever, due to irreconcilable differences. He cites the banning of users, fights between the two, the treatment of IP's as "real people" and the lack of cookies in mommas cookie jar. One of our reporters spoke to Flumpa as he was packing his wagon to leave Uncyclopedia "I like the holding hands and the fairy floss but Sophia has icky wiki germs and I just couldn't get past that. However I hear this new EDwina down the street is available, she may play in mud but I hear she has yummy yummy cookies." 127.0.0.1, leader of the "IPs are Real People, Too" Foundation had said that "Flumpa makes some great points on IP treatment, such as telling them that behind that string of random numbers lies an actual person; A person with heart. A person with brain. A person with spleen." When asked whether he would share his hard earned money on a badge from the Keep-the-IP's-out-of-Bannation-Foundation, this reporter simply told them to bugger off and get their own alcohol addiction gawdammit! We do, however, wish Flumpa the best of luck as he travels across the wiki-street with his trademarked brand of Off-topic forums to meet this EDwina fellow.
We at the UnSignpost would like to remind all Uncyclopedian editors that June is Internet safety month. Through the efforts of Uncyclopedia and other sites across the Internet, we can help protect innocent children and frail grandmothers from seeing offensive content NIGGER Uhm, we're sorry about that. The editor that wrote that previous sentence has been fired, in accordance with the rules of Internet safety month. UnSignpost would like to remind all editors to use extra padding in tables, because we don't want the little kiddies touching the sharp edges and getting hurt. As per Internet safety month, all uploaded porn will be closely monitored to see if the models are engaging in safe fucking. I mean sex. SEX! I meant SEX! We apologize for the previous two editors. They have been shot, out in the hallway, in the most safe method possible, we assure you. We even laid out cushions for them to fall on. Anyway, Websense and other Internet blocking sites will up its sensors to block over 99.99% of the Internet. What will remain is available is the Wikipedia article "Frog", weather.com, and anything unblocked in China. We at UnSignpost wish you a happy Internet safety month, and hope that you stay safe. Remember to always use a firewall. Websense has blocked this column for the following reason: This column contains "humor".
Difficult times lie ahead for schoolbound Uncyclopedians. A series of semi-challenging tests lie in the near future for many, and everyone's workload seems to be growing. Unfortunately for Uncyclopedians, finals are nearly here. However, luckily for Uncyclopedia, finals are almost here! This means that, as procrastination rates skyrocket, Uncyclopedia activity grows proportionally. Haven't been studying for your math final? Those fancy words mean that Uncyclopedia usage is going up, just as teachers pull out their hair worrying about keeping their kids' averages above the department bottom line so they can keep their jobs. However, here at UnSignpost and Uncyclopedia, we pride ourselves on allowing for multi-tasking. So, here is a series of brief study guides that are pretty much all you need: Science: For this final, you will be asked questions about science. However, simply remember a few facts, and your science final will be a breeze. These include remembering that ontogeny does not recapitulate phylogeny, pyruvate and phosphofruktokinase function as glycolytic enzymes, and the kidneys are located three ribs up from the malnuric sphincter. Math: Just prove to your teacher that 1=2, and any answer you give is automatically right. English: ENGLISH, MOFO, DO YOU SPEAK IT? History: To pass this, just try to remember a few important dates: 622BC, 394BC, 211BC, 5BC, 11AD, 24AD, 300AD, 906AD, 1102AD, 1619AD, 1791AD, 1963AD, and 2012AD. Tech. Ed.: Basically, you take a saw and cut shit up. Fucking A. Music class: Try not to fail and blow any notes. You'd sure look like a real tool, then, huh. Art: Just explain to your teacher how deep and misunderstood you are, and paint your feelings. Take a few pictures with a black and white camera setting and write a few "dark" poems, and if your teacher knows how often you cry then you'll have an easy A. Foreign language: THIS IS AMERICA, SPEAK AMERICAN! Gym: If you're really planning on studying for this final, then only God can help you now.
 An article by Zombiebaron has caused a huge feud between the all-powerful admins that could ban me again. Thekillerfroggy has charged that the "Nonsense Watermelon Catastrophe" was not newsworthy enough, while Zombiebaron charges that the article is newsworthy, and therefore should not be deleted. In the fight, many people have cried "drama" and run for their lives. "Oh, this is deliiiicious!" said resident fucktard Drama. We spoke to Drama in his white linoleum mansion. He stopped seductively petting his gay snow leopard long enough to talk to us. "I loooove drama. I want their drama dripping all over my linoleum castle. I want their orgasmic screams of anger to rattle the walls! What do you think, Puffles?" "Oohh, puurrrrr" said Puffles. Some of the more regular users have claimed that the drama will bring unwanted side effects. RAHB has recently said to one of our reporters: "Remember, when there's drama, Ljlego touches himself." [Ed note: he said that on IRC, I swear. to. god. ban: banbanban.] Zombiebaron, an administrator who just happens to be a spectre of the unwept dead, spoke at his crypt this Tuesday dressed in his ceremonial black and red robes: "Hhhgggrrrr, I do not like speaking to the public: They give me a rash. As far as how random uncyclopedia is, we have two admins who are a balloon and a frog, so my article is perfect. The drama will not be settled until I taste the frog's flesh. Suffffeeeerrrrrr..." The Killer Froggy issued a statement soon after, with his frog army in the background: "ribbit? RIBBIT! ribbit. ribbit ribbit ribbit!" Both administrators have promised to ban the poor, misunderstood writer of this article if their statements were printed, but that's the risk we take to bring you the news. That's just how cool we are. Drama is the real winner here. As of this printing, he is planning to buy his gay snow leopard a fluffy red cape with the profits. And remember: every time there's drama, Ljlego touches himself. I'm not fucking kidding. He's all like, "oh yeah, oh, oh yeah I love you drama" and they're both in the love coven, snugglin' n' shit. I have pictures, guys! I swear it's totally ins AS OF THIS PARAGRAPH, CAJEK HAS BEEN BANNED INDEFINITELY. |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 16:53, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
IRC[edit source]
Come on, if you have a sec. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 07:20, Jun 15
- You may be glad to know that your fears were unfounded -- a checkuser from sannse got it all sorted out :). However, I forgot to ask about my hunch, so if you have a sec, could you bug someone with a checkuser? - Don Leddy the Crunch
(Nyah, see, nyah!) 01:02, Jun 16
Thanks[edit source]
Thanks for fixing the top of Thou. It was my first article, and I couldn't figure out how to make that top part look good. Much appreciated. [[The Woodburninator 18:48, 20 June 2008 (UTC)]]
UnSignpost: June 19th, 2008[edit source]
Now with 20% more ninjas!
June 19whenever-th, 2008 • Issue 8
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UnSignpost abandoned by creators!
Uncyclopedia's popular newspaper/tacky tabloid rag (delete according to preference) the UnSignpost - already floundering following the loss of founding editor Dr. Skullthumper - has been dealt another, possibly fatal blow, with the news that popular feature-machine and international diplomat Cajek has not been arsed to edit the latest issue. When thursday June 19th dawned without the by-now-traditional UnSignpost dropping onto their talkpages, Unycylopedians everywhere could be heard bravely dealing with the incident by pretending they hadn't noticed. We asked prominent Uncyc contributors for their reactions to the journalistic crisis facing their favourite wiki-based news delivery system. "SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON.... SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON!" said Don Leddy, obviously coping badly with the news. Sensing a possible catastrophe, DJ Irreverent bravely leaped into the breach and created a forum topic that galvanised the community, while UU declared himself too busy to help, then promptly wrote about half of the paper. While still suffering from writer's block, which explains the total lack of lulz and inspiration thus far. It's probably about time to link to nobody cares and close this story now, isn't it? Industrial mogul joins Uncyclopedia, promises great wealth to all.
Donald Trump, the man, the legend, the Tower, the hairstyle, has taken time out of his busy international schedule to create a forum topic promising affluence beyond the dreams of avarice to all on Uncyclopedia! Despite the impeccable credentials displayed on his userpage, so far only Qua and SysRq managed to take advantage of the popular billionaire's altruism before he was ruthlessly banned by noted anti-capitalist Codeine. UnSignpost was particularly impressed with Codeine's ability to resist the temptation to use "you're fired" as a block reason, as we are sure it would have been all but overwhelming. It is to be hoped that, on his return from bannination, Mr Trump will use his undoubted wealth and business connections to help Uncyc beat the ever-encroaching threat of Wikia's advertising plans. N00b ties knot
Popular recent NotM winner Cheapinitreal has further embarrassed the Uncyclopedia community by becoming all respectable and getting married. Confessing to his transgression, Cheap added "all and all, it was a right fine week". The UnSignpost would like to write something really funny here, then wish Cheap all the best, but this issue is being rushed out as it's, like, way late, so we just don't have time. UnSignpost resorts to blatant filler
In a move heralded as "an exciting development in journalism" by guest editor UU, the UnSignpost today employed blatant flannel to fill an annoying white gap at the bottom of the page. It is believed that this is the first such instance of using blatant rubbish to fill a newspaper page in journalistic history. "I'm proud to be at the vanguard of such a groundbreaking technique" said UU, before going off to scour Cajek's ideas page in a desperate hunt for inspiration. "Is this long enough yet?" he added, before concluding "not quite, another few words or so should do the trick". |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 00:58, 21 June 2008 (UTC)
Thin line[edit source]
... tell me now, what are we supposed to do? Best. Unblock reason. Ever. That is all. --UU - natter 
18:34, Jun 23
Hey TKF[edit source]
I'm not really sure where to go with this, as it doesn't seem like the kind of thing than BP is used for, and you're the only active admin right now, so... Anyways, I think am fairly sure there's some socking going on at EGAEDM, trying to rob admin-elect at this point Modus of a well-deserved award. Fancy having a look for me please? Ta. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 24/06 19:48
UnSignpost: June 26nd, 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11
June 26th, 2008 • Issue 9
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Uncyclopedia running out of Interesting Stuff. UnSignpost in Jeopardy!
Recently. Uncyclopedia, in its maternal state. Is running out of interesting stuff as most users keep filling her with the same old stuff day after day. Most if not almost all of the staff at the UnSignpost panicked as this meant that their newspaper, which faced the threat of disabondement yesterday. Could be folded by the Uncyclopedia Penis Man returns!
 At exactly 12:29 AM Monday morning, some local idiot decided that it would be a great day to stir up drama and piss people off with some long forgotten shit. And with that, Penis Man made his way back to our great Uncyclopedia with the intent of vandalizing Boomer's userpage. Soon after, the Town drunk Eugene Kay decided to follow suit by uploading the same image by the name of Zombiepenis. Why he decided to make such an apparent strike at the admin who has beat him so much is currently unknown. We at UnSignpost give them both a 25000000:1 chance of being banned. Local Uncyclopedian starts up Devil-Worship Wiki
 In a recent devil-related press conference. Cartoon Diablo, the younger and sillier version of Diablo. Has started up The Devil's Wiki, a wiki dedicated to worship of Satanism and The Devil itself. In a recent interview, Cartoon Diablo has said personally that "The wiki's going to contain a lot about the devil, no seriously. There's going to be articles about the caverns of hell, the kind of foods the devil eats and also various artworks done by the Devil himself. And if your asking if it's going to be great. Well... Yeah!, It's going to be satantastic!". Immediately after this was posted on the UnSignpost, 2 people have joined the satanic wiki. The 2 people are described to be a Himilianian Yettie and an Male Amish Human. Both of them have pledged their allegiance to the devil in return for absolute power. In today's weather report, make sure to bring an umbrella as Hell may be raining over within the next few days. Uncyclopedia's Reign of the Newbs Begins
Interestingly enough, lots of new noobs (and old noobs) are getting featured articles these days. Somehow, the cult of the newbs has awoken, and Uncyc has felt its presence link to Double Entendre. Oh... did I say that out loud? "I don't trust the young 'uns," said Farmer O'Dell at his grain silo, "They write funny articles, yeah, but what do they contribute to the community?" Actually, writers like Hyperbole, Cheapinitreal, and The Woodburninator have stepped up, and are already commanders. Except that last one, who is close enough. Big time contributors like YesTimeToEdit, Qua, and Orian57 are cleaning up this pig sty. Older members of uncyc have become less active, and are paving the way for these rising stars to shine. Uh, speaking as myself? I've never been more proud of Uncyclopedia than I have in the last month or so. Keep it up, guys! |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 22:47, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
Thanks for Voting![edit source]
...for voting on HowTo:Get Around In A Fighting Tournament.
Victoly for you!! - User:Hanyouman
-- Hanyouman 15:28, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
Recent Banning[edit source]
Why did you ban ImTheDevil?--Nytrospawn 19:39, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
- It looked like he replaced the page Near death experience with a wikipedia page, but upon closer inspection, he was the one who created the page in the first place. Forgive me, I'm really tired and stressed out. Also, why does the signature button not include a timestamp or hyphens, now? -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 19:42, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
- Whaddya talkin aboot? It still does!--Nytrospawn 19:47, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
hancock[edit source]
why did you huff my article?
- It sucked. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 03:29, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
we where gonna expand it, alot of these articles suck, ours was gonna be funny!
- Make it again then, I'll give it a second chance. TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 19:56, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
Can you get rid of this guy too?[edit source]
69.183.244.156 He's also messing with Dead Nigger Storage. Maybe just protect the page. The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 04:42, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
for your userpage[edit source]
add to your userpage
Founding Member Baseball16
22:04, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
- Yes I cam here to do this, too. God damn admins and page protection. Grrrr! - [22:19 5 July] Sir FSt Don
Yettie
- Yettie I know how you feel.
Founding Member Baseball16
16:30, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
- Yettie I know how you feel.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU[edit source]
|<-- TKFeck has left irc.freenode.net:8002 ("YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!")
You just HAD to make me remember that song, god damnit TKF. --CharitwoTalk 06:13, 8 July 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: Jewlie 3rd/10th, 2008[edit source]
The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!
July 10th, 2008 • Tenth Issue Spectacular!
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Uncyclopedia running out of interesting stuff, UnSignpost starts up shitty telethon!  Look at you, sitting there all high and mighty with your Chuck Norris facts and Oscar Wilde quotes, well during this season of laziness and sitting round jacking off, please donate the gift of humor (or humour, we bend that way to no matter how much we are chased out of church) to a poor Uncyclopedian run newspaper near you. Take this poor little article for example; Canadian Tire Money or Canny as no-one calls him, just 8 minutes old and he is already roaming the streets. Illiterate and doing incoherency, long lines of lists and e before i (especially after c), it is only a matter of time before he turns to gay jokes to fund his addictions. Please help this little article achieve its potential as an Injoke by donating the gift of laughter, stupidity... or even just simple bad taste. Successes
There's more you can do... Call you're nearest admin and start a discussion about just how much humor you can donate (read: swearing and shock-porn), or start the 2717231278th forum topic concerning how we all must strive to remove the scourge of shitty articles. In the immortally misattributed words of our founding fathers, stillwaters and Chronarion "Fuck were we high" er... or words of respected member TheLedBalloon "Also, in the ass or the mouth?" oh dear... or even words of Please help Save Cats from Degrading Captions- wait... - Save the Porn onto my Hard-drive- uh... I remember! Save UnSignpost from falling into a pit of lame memes and boring articles, here is a parting word from a little one in need of YOUR help. Ry4N IS TEh GH3Y n00b whO SUX b4lls!!1 ~ Ryan kella Makes you think don't it? We will be taking your calls now. Or now. Not now. Ok, now. Modusoperandi OP'ed!?
This past month of June, the Uncyclopedia community got its first chance at VFS since February, and one new op was decided upon. While there were many great and very capable candidates, one in particular got the most attention and the most votes. Modusoperandi. This long time Uncyclopedian has been to VFS almost every time it gets opened as far as we can trace, and always misses it in the final round by a slim number of votes. However, this month turned out to be a winner for him, so congratulations Modus. MO likes to spend his time writing things and 'chopping some images, but also finds time to goof off in the forums, and relieve the everyday pressure of his fellow colleagues with his off topic sense of humor, which he rarely hides. Modus has a total of 19.5 featured articles as well as 10 featured images. We at UnSignpost congratulate Modus on his winnings, and are willing to put $10 on him becoming the next STM. UnSignpost Takes A Wikibreak
Yeah, the UnSignpost, the newspaper that Uncyclopedia would totally fall apart without, took a wikibreak last week. They seem to be fashionable, so we thought we'd find out what they were all about. They seem to involve time spent not hunched over a keyboard in a darkened room. The UnSignpost reminds you that such activities are hazardous to your health, and should be avoided at all costs. (Note: this is absolutely true - in no way did the UnSignpost just miss a week because no-one could be bothered to edit it, or anything) |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:37, 12 July 2008 (UTC)
Poo Lit Surprise[edit source]
I'm sending you this because you are signed up to judge the Poo Lit Surprise. If you no longer want to judge or are incapable of, please tell me as soon as possible. If you're still good to go, here are the instructions:
First, read all of the articles in your specified category. Second, judge them. Judge how you like, as long as it's at least fair and based on merit (one suggestion would be to use the Pee Review format). Post your top 5 articles here. Hit me up on my talk page for questions, comments, or if these rules are not cognizant within you.
Thank you again for your valued participation in the balletic train wreck that is the Poo Lit Surprise! ~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:30, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: July 17th, 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!
July 17th, 2008 • Eleventh Issue • Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!
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It's The Poo Lit. Surprised?
Uncyclopedia's twice annual writing competition, the Poo Lit Surprise starts this week. In typical Uncyclopedia style, it seems to have come as a surprise to many, not least EMC, who was supposed to be running it, but who has disappeared without trace. Horrified by what was happening to their beloved and prestigious competition, the Uncyclopedia community rushed into action as soon as it noticed (a day or so late), and promptly agreed someone needed to do something. This was followed by some of the community running around in small circles, flapping their hands wildly and panicking a bit, before cuddly authority figure Zombiebaron decisively stepped in and selflessly told Dr. Skullthumper to sort it out and get the fuck on with it. At the time of going to press, both Skullthumper and Zombiebaron may have been available for comment for all we know, but we couldn't be bothered to ask them. VFS: The Race Hots Up For The Second Month Running
In an unprecedented turn of events, and due to namby-pamby unclear rules that have since been firmed up and given a healthy gay colour makeover, Uncyclopedia is voting for further candidates to be admitted to the non-existent cabal. The race is turning out to be quite a close one between several of the frontrunners, so the ever-impartial UnSignpost (founded by Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper) brings you pen pics of the current favourites.
Who will win? All may be reported in future editions of the UnSignpost. If we remember. And if we can be bothered. |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:09, 20 July 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: July 17th, 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!
July 17th, 2008 • Eleventh Issue • Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!
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It's The Poo Lit. Surprised?
Uncyclopedia's twice annual writing competition, the Poo Lit Surprise starts this week. In typical Uncyclopedia style, it seems to have come as a surprise to many, not least EMC, who was supposed to be running it, but who has disappeared without trace. Horrified by what was happening to their beloved and prestigious competition, the Uncyclopedia community rushed into action as soon as it noticed (a day or so late), and promptly agreed someone needed to do something. This was followed by some of the community running around in small circles, flapping their hands wildly and panicking a bit, before cuddly authority figure Zombiebaron decisively stepped in and selflessly told Dr. Skullthumper to sort it out and get the fuck on with it. At the time of going to press, both Skullthumper and Zombiebaron may have been available for comment for all we know, but we couldn't be bothered to ask them. VFS: The Race Hots Up For The Second Month Running
In an unprecedented turn of events, and due to namby-pamby unclear rules that have since been firmed up and given a healthy gay colour makeover, Uncyclopedia is voting for further candidates to be admitted to the non-existent cabal. The race is turning out to be quite a close one between several of the frontrunners, so the ever-impartial UnSignpost (founded by Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper) brings you pen pics of the current favourites.
Who will win? All may be reported in future editions of the UnSignpost. If we remember. And if we can be bothered. |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:10, 20 July 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: July 24th, 2008[edit source]
Proudly supporting editorial independence whenever the board say it's okay
July 24th, 2008 • Twelfth Issue • Now On Time?
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Count to a million This week Uncyclopedians continued on their quixotic attempt to "count to a million." Started by Uncyclopedia Wiki-master and Chamber of Commerce Secretary Spang in early March of this year, the project seeks to eventually reach the number one million (1,000,000) through the ancient art of counting. Any person who is capable of taking a number, adding one to it, and expressing the result has been invited to join the massive undertaking, which has seen dozens of contributors come and go. As is always the case here at Uncyc, the project has spawned controversy, criticism, and a spin-off starring Tony Shalhoub as Olipro. The forum is an unprecedented pool of knowledge. As each number is reached, it is discussed in-depth by several Uncyclopedians. Insights such as "114 That's my age + 100 lololol" and "616 fucks fucking fucker's shitty crap" are a testament to the intellecually stimulating conversation that occurs each day. Oftentimes, relevant images are posted; the variety of these pictures can be seen by looking here, here, here, and here. However, not everyone is so optimistic about the project. Some have expressed concern that the entire thing has some kind of sinister purpose. When asked for a comment on the harmless-appearing but diabolically-undertoned project, TheLedBalloon said, "although the project appears harmless, there are definitely diabolical undertones." Another anonymous user stated, "that forum is most surely not pants." Spang himself has expressed his desire to leave behind a legacy, but he has also left open the possibility that "the entire thing is just an urban myth, and doesn't really exist." Regardless of its true meaning or intentions, Uncyclopedians continue to trudge on in their epic quest, reaching 0.075% of their goal this Monday. Editors come and go, the pace quickens and slackens, but someone is always there to figure out the next number in the sequence. At its current rate, the project will reach one million on August 19th, 2526. Until that glorious day, Uncyclopedians can only dream... Cheevers Fires Back! After some light-hearted slights in last week's issue, Gerry Cheevers - Uncyclopedia's resident headcase and #2 hockey authority - has taken exception with the editors of this fine periodical. An ugly scene erupted in the USP press room after Gerry barged in, demanding some sort of justice. Luckily, some quick thinking by our tea-boy and current stand-in editor caused Mr. Cheevers to be distracted by a shiny object long enough to avoid any damage to our delicate newspapering equipment. After it was pointed out that he had in fact come and gone from Uncyclopedia like some sort of cow that grazes on witty satire and coherent parody, Gerry calmed down enough give a brief interview and let some of our junior reporters scratch him behind the ears. When asked about the reasons for his return, Gerry cited many things. Prominent among them were a desire to have humor play a larger role in his life once again, the thrill of writing articles, the subsequent crushing defeat after said articles have been hacked to pieces mercilessly, and his heterosexual man-crush on Mhaille. The one-time WotM nominee fell on hard times in mid-March, and went on sabbatical when his computer decided that it was not long for this world and took its own life. After that, Gerry resorted to breaking into libraries after-hours to cast VFH votes on city-owned, porn-riddled, abysmally slow dial-up computers. Luckily he landed a job in late May and has spent a majority of his time at said job slacking off and editing Uncyclopedia. Mr. Cheevers looks forward to getting back to what he is known for: mediocre writing, scathing Pee Reviews, and keeping Manforman locked up in the Uncyc dungeons. Several prominent Uncyclopedians share his optimism for a permanent return, including noted reviewing robot MrN9000, who stated that he was "willing to bet everything Cajek owns to that effect," and heavy zeppelin Don Leddy, who expressed his delight at seeing Gerry, exclaiming "gimme back my twenty dollars!" |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 16:49, 24 July 2008 (UTC)
Gee, Thanks...[edit source]
You think I suck? I said clearly, if I suck someone stop me. And you spoilt my perfect record. I didn't even notice until it was over though, so no harm done. Also hello, don't think we've really spoken before, though it was you that welcomed me, way, way back in December. SK Sir Orian57Talk 
RotM 19:43 3 August 2008
- You had a perfect record? I beg to differ, because clearly that homophobic admin Skullthumper banned you for being "a ghey." Also, nice to meet you. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 19:59, 3 August 2008 (UTC)
- Yeah I noticed that after. You admins all just abuse your power don't you? I didn't believe those rumours until now... I've now lost my faith in the law. It's so sad when the people you expect to uphold teh law break it themselves. or something pretentious like that. SK Sir Orian57Talk
RotM 20:13 3 August 2008
- Yeah I noticed that after. You admins all just abuse your power don't you? I didn't believe those rumours until now... I've now lost my faith in the law. It's so sad when the people you expect to uphold teh law break it themselves. or something pretentious like that. SK Sir Orian57Talk
UnSignpost: July 31st, 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!
July 31st, 2008 • Lucky Thirteenth Issue • Now with 20% more ninjas!
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The biggest little whorehouse on the internet Oftentimes, Uncyclopedians choose to create something on their userpages, safe from the prying eyes and hungry 'delete' buttons of admins. These entities can range from the ridiculously complex to the awesomely cartoonish. The newest user creation on this silly wiki is that of a charming gentle-bot by the name of MrN9000. At 'The Whorehouse', writers can bathe in the attention they so desperately seek. A sort of hands-on Pee Review, the Whorehouse encourages other users to edit, trim, improve, rub up against, and generally increase the quality of the articles of others. Authors suffering from mental blocks (or physical blocks) can turn to this dimly lit establishment for inspiration. While considered a 'smashing' idea by some, the brothel has drawn its share of criticism. It may have even caused a site-wide questioning of the rules of VFH, guidelines of Pee Review, and the vailidity of the Committee That Selects Zombiebaron's Daily Banstick. The main concern seems to be articles getting 'mucked up' by having too many contributors. Opponents to this opinion have pointed out that this is a wiki, and, in theory, an infinite number of contributors contributing to an infinite number of articles for an infinite amount of time were eventually destined to create the Whorehouse, anyway. Some users, such as Ljlego, have taken advantage of the open space to hold some sort of charity-scamming orgy. Whatever the destiny of the Whorehouse, it is sure to catch every Uncyclopedian's attention for at the least five minutes immediately following the reading of this article.
Virus exposes user vulnerability to death Yes, it's true. Death is inevitable for all users who have logged in recently. Apparently, a rouge admin created a computer virus so potent you actually contract testicular cancer. Real cancer. Like, In real life. Seriously. And how does one contract the virus? Users are warned that that the simple act of logging in to Uncyclopedia will cause one to contract the fatal disease. "Yes, I know cancer isn't a disease nor a virus" said one doctor "but still, it sucks. I mean - it's cancer - IN YOUR BALLS. Come on." So how exactly does on know when they have cancer? Symptoms may include one or more of the following:
Make sure to constantly check your testicles by feeling them for irregularities with your fingers. ... That's right. ... Just feel 'em up ... nice ... Ahem! Uh... Simple vigilance is a big help. The best time to check is after a hot shower, when the scrotum is looser. And what of the female users? No, not even the three of them are safe. It has been proven that even female users can contract testicular cancer. How, you ask? Well, by a miracle of God, the female will grow testicles, that will then become "cancerfied" (or "cancer-ific", if you prefer.) The only users who are safe from this horrible plague are IP addresses, as they lack testes and the ability to grow any. Remember kids, no matter how much Dr. Health, Esq. tells you cancer is great, don't believe him. Oh? ... What's that? ... I said something about dying? ... Oh. ... Well, if one of your testicles was three times bigger than the other and your semen was filled with blood, would you not kill yourself? That's right... |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 08:00, 5 August 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: July 31st, 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!
July 31st, 2008 • Lucky Thirteenth Issue • Now with 20% more ninjas!
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The biggest little whorehouse on the internet Oftentimes, Uncyclopedians choose to create something on their userpages, safe from the prying eyes and hungry 'delete' buttons of admins. These entities can range from the ridiculously complex to the awesomely cartoonish. The newest user creation on this silly wiki is that of a charming gentle-bot by the name of MrN9000. At 'The Whorehouse', writers can bathe in the attention they so desperately seek. A sort of hands-on Pee Review, the Whorehouse encourages other users to edit, trim, improve, rub up against, and generally increase the quality of the articles of others. Authors suffering from mental blocks (or physical blocks) can turn to this dimly lit establishment for inspiration. While considered a 'smashing' idea by some, the brothel has drawn its share of criticism. It may have even caused a site-wide questioning of the rules of VFH, guidelines of Pee Review, and the vailidity of the Committee That Selects Zombiebaron's Daily Banstick. The main concern seems to be articles getting 'mucked up' by having too many contributors. Opponents to this opinion have pointed out that this is a wiki, and, in theory, an infinite number of contributors contributing to an infinite number of articles for an infinite amount of time were eventually destined to create the Whorehouse, anyway. Some users, such as Ljlego, have taken advantage of the open space to hold some sort of charity-scamming orgy. Whatever the destiny of the Whorehouse, it is sure to catch every Uncyclopedian's attention for at the least five minutes immediately following the reading of this article.
Virus exposes user vulnerability to death Yes, it's true. Death is inevitable for all users who have logged in recently. Apparently, a rouge admin created a computer virus so potent you actually contract testicular cancer. Real cancer. Like, In real life. Seriously. And how does one contract the virus? Users are warned that that the simple act of logging in to Uncyclopedia will cause one to contract the fatal disease. "Yes, I know cancer isn't a disease nor a virus" said one doctor "but still, it sucks. I mean - it's cancer - IN YOUR BALLS. Come on." So how exactly does on know when they have cancer? Symptoms may include one or more of the following:
Make sure to constantly check your testicles by feeling them for irregularities with your fingers. ... That's right. ... Just feel 'em up ... nice ... Ahem! Uh... Simple vigilance is a big help. The best time to check is after a hot shower, when the scrotum is looser. And what of the female users? No, not even the three of them are safe. It has been proven that even female users can contract testicular cancer. How, you ask? Well, by a miracle of God, the female will grow testicles, that will then become "cancerfied" (or "cancer-ific", if you prefer.) The only users who are safe from this horrible plague are IP addresses, as they lack testes and the ability to grow any. Remember kids, no matter how much Dr. Health, Esq. tells you cancer is great, don't believe him. Oh? ... What's that? ... I said something about dying? ... Oh. ... Well, if one of your testicles was three times bigger than the other and your semen was filled with blood, would you not kill yourself? That's right... |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 08:01, 5 August 2008 (UTC)
Thanks for the vote[edit source]
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Thanks for the vote Walpurgis Night Now let's get pissed and enjoy the bonfire! |
Thank you for voteing on my article, you've have done so on a few of mine, so thanks again:)— Sir Sycamore (talk) 15:09, 11 August 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: August 7th, 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!
August 7th, 2008 • Fourteenth Issue • Just like Grandma used to make!
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Uncyclopedia Forum set to consume the Internet Top scientists at the Uncycloversity this week predicted that a Village Dump topic, started in June by prominent Uncylopedian and alchemist Spang, will one day consume the entire internet. According to the university's top expert, Dr. Skullthumper, Ph.D.: "This is one of those things that could go on forever. I mean, at least counting to a million has a definite ending. With this, there is no end, since everyone wants to be the last person to edit." Wikia staff member and Uncyclopedian Sannse predicts that the forum topic will take up all of Wikia's hardware by late 2009 and will then begin to "consume all around it, like I did that time I tried marijuana." She went on to add, "nothing will be safe – not even Wikipedia," before blessing herself and staring reverently at a statue of Jimmy Wales. Others, however, are more optimistic. According to Modusoperandi, "eventually someone will invent some sort of robot or hobgoblin to automatically edit the topic, and then it will have to be locked. Either that, or someone will figure out that there is no prize, rendering the whole thing pointless. And then I shall be the winner!" Spang was unavailable for comment because, according to his spokesperson, "he is busy in his cave dreaming up more crazy schemes to destroy the internet." Admins everywhere! If you're a wiki-troll, cyberbullying vandal or extremely crappy article, you'd better start watching your behind. Three new deputies were voted in by the Uncyclopedia Sheriff's Department: Dr. Skullthumper, RAHB, and Roman Dog Bird. The trio were bestowed this great honor last Friday by Codeine. This brings the total amount of active authority figures who could wallop you over the head with a banhammer to 29. The reason for the unusally high number of new sysops is that a clear consensus could not be reached, and also that all three of these individuals are "awesome". The new admins were extremely pleased and greatly honored by their new title. None of them wasted any time in executing their first sysop move (RAHB and Dr. Skullthumper banned Cajek; Roman Dog Bird deleted one hundred articles, then banned Cajek). The prescence of these new neighborhood patrollers was evident immediately, with QVFD being renamed "Skull and RAHB's House of Huffing", and placing {{VFD}} in an article now automatically classifying it as "Roman Dog Bird's bitch". The reactions from the new sysops were similar, with all three pledging to delete bad articles, ban unworthy knuckleheads, continue plans for world domination, and "try not to muck up the site too much". RAHB has set himself lofty goals, including "keeping it cool" and some wiki-related nonsense that this reporter didn't understand. Roman Dog Bird wished the readers of the Signpost to know that he said "something", and went on to add that he will continue to "clean crap up...only now with more power." Dr. Skullthumper is thankful that no one has caught on to the trio of new ops and expresses his optimism as far as not being immediately de-opped, but also listed several early accomplishments as well as future goals. With these three brave new souls now patrolling the corridors of this silly wiki, it is truly a dark time for terrible articles, merciless vandals, and Cajek. |
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Painstakingly hand-delivered by: 16:28, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
Hey, TFK[edit source]
Just dropping by to say hi, TFK. Hi. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:11, Aug 13
- TFK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --
Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER 22:17, 13 August 2008 (UTC)
press[edit source]
hey froggy, just wondering if you had any comment for the signpost about the slut list. thoughts on rising six spots to third? plans on overtaking Benson? would you care to explain how Benson ranks second despite being terribly inactive? 16:24, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
- A wizard did it. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 17:09, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
Hea Dude[edit source]
(Huff log); 16:08 . . Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) (huffed "Amby": Voted for deletion)
I wondered if you had read the discussion we had during that vote? MrN 16:12, Aug 16
- I did, but Hyperbole said he already moved it to the userspace did he? In any occasion, if he moved it back, he deleted all of the past edits to the article by accident, making it impossible for me to find the original author by going to the history. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 16:47, 16 August 2008 (UTC)
- Yea, it's cool dude. Everything is sorted. I only mentioned it as you are one of the guys who is active on VFD, and I was just hoping to get you on-board with this "move to userspace sometimes" thing. Basically if enough of the voters agree that the article should be given to the author to fix it's probably worth the bother of moving it. You mentioned that you would have been willing to move it (if that were possible), so I guess everything is cool... Have fun. :-) MrN
16:53, Aug 16
- Yea, it's cool dude. Everything is sorted. I only mentioned it as you are one of the guys who is active on VFD, and I was just hoping to get you on-board with this "move to userspace sometimes" thing. Basically if enough of the voters agree that the article should be given to the author to fix it's probably worth the bother of moving it. You mentioned that you would have been willing to move it (if that were possible), so I guess everything is cool... Have fun. :-) MrN
UnSignpost: August 14th, 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!
August 14th, 2008 • Fifteenth Issue • May contain traces of humor
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Uncyclopedia kidnapped!  In a shocking development, a brazen individual absconded with Uncyclopedia just over a week ago. Users were shocked when their attempts to access the site between 18:33 and 20:07 UTC on August 4th resulted in a sinister message being displayed, promising the swift return of the wiki should the kidnapper's demands be met. Panic ensued, with several Uncyclopedians wandering off to places unknown, never to return. Once the site was restored and the intertubes reconnected, the identity of the culprit was obvious: Orian57 had made the last edit before the ninety-minute gap, with the ominous and puzzling edit summary of "I AM STEALING UNCYCLOPEDIA!!!" The site itself seemed to be mostly fine after its harrowing ordeal, with the exception of VFP, which turned all of Zombiebaron's against votes into ten for votes during the first few hours back. This reporter caught up to Orian57, and had the opportunity to talk with him at some length about the reasons for the abduction. After consulting with his lawyer, Orian agreed to comment on the situation. On why he stole the wiki, he said, "my motivation for this cyber-terrorism wasn't something trite like 'because I could' or 'it wasn't me'. No. It was because nobody was paying me any attention!" It seems that Orian, in a desperate bid for attention, locked the Uncyclopedia server in a basement, and attempted to edit it so that all content referred to him. Perhaps his subconcious got the better of him, or perhaps the spirit of Sophia came to Uncyclopedia's rescue. In any case, Orian claims he heard a female voice speaking to him, which convinced him to return the server and allow "uncyclopedians around the world to stop masturbating and return to peeling potatoes or whatever they do." Some sort of competition finishes
So as you may have noticed, recently a contest of titanic proportions has been gripping the world like no other event. Palms have been sweaty, nails have been chewed, bribes, threats, and allegations of stimulant abuse have been rife. But now, the latest incarnation of the Poo Lit Surprise has drawn to a close, and so our attention can drift to that bunch of steroid-enhanced nutters at the Olympics. Finally, the questions on everyone's lips have been answered. Providing they were related to the Poo Lit Surprise, and who was going to win. Other questions, unfortunately, remain unanswered. However, if you do want to know who won, and haven't found out already, you can find out here. We could just tell you here, but where's the fun in that? We should, however, point out that if you haven't seen all of the articles yet, there are some real crackers amongst them, and not just the winners either - which probably reflects well on the Uncyclopedia Community as a whole, although it may just hint that everyone saved their best articles for this one small period of time and now has nothing else to offer for another 6 months. We'll see, but in the meantime, have a look at all the entries - there should be chuckles on offer whatever your sense of humo(u)r! |
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Fired out of a newspaper cannon by: 17:55, 16 August 2008 (UTC)
Join the UnOrder Today![edit source]
| Join the Holy UnOrder of Uncylopedia today! |
   
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| At the UnOrder, you can give yourself all of those rankings you |
ever wanted! GUN (#1UN), KUN (♂UN), DUN (♀UN), and CUN (CUN )!
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| Awards include: |
| Weiner of the Month (UWotM), B00b of the Month (BotM), and |
| Recyclopedian of the Month (RCotM)! |
| So, join the UnOrder today, and become a member of |
| the least known group on Uncyclopedia! |
- Actually sounds interesting. Sign me up! -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 01:37, 17 August 2008 (UTC)
UnOrder Awards[edit source]
Dear <insert name here>, the monthly awards for the Unorder of Uncyclopedia are now open nomination and voting. You can nominate your fellow UnOrder Members for Weiner of the Month (UnOrder Writer of the Month), b00b of the Month (UnOrder n00b of the Month), and Recyclopedian of the Month (UnOrder Uncyclopedian of the Month). Thank you and have a nice day! ~ Readmesoon
- PS: You have been nominated for the Weiner of the Month. Perhaps you should put up the template {{VoteUWotM}} on your userpage? ~ Readmesoon
query[edit source]
froggy, what's the proper way to go about dealing with the improper removal of an ICU tag? it's like the third time it's happened to me. this time i speak of this article. does it depend on the quality of the article? i suppsoe the choices are 1) VFD 2) QVFD 3) reapply ICU. this one looks like it's bad/short enough for QVFD, but i was wondering if there were any rules concerning this. 14:42, 18 August 2008 (UTC)
- BP user, VFD the article if it's over a week old, QVFD with specification of ICU removal if under a week. Basically, leave it to the judgement of the admin community. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 18:06, 18 August 2008 (UTC)
YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU (vee double-you ex why zee)[edit source]
Come on IRC sometime, ya? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:48 Aug 19, 2008
UnSignpost: August 21st, 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!
August 21st, 2008 • Issue Sixteen • The periodical without any junk in its trunk
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And the award for Sluttiest User goes to... ...Mhaille! With over fifteen thousand links to his userpage strewn willy-nilly about Uncyclopedia, Mhaille takes home the Slutty for the sixth consecutive time. Everyone's favorite moustachioed chappie overtook Codeine in early 2007 and never looked back. When asked about this momentous achievement, Mhaille was still in shock from the victory. "I'd like to give thanks to my mother and my father, for first taking me into the family business. Without their years of experience and their guidance I would not have become the Slut I am today," he said. "It is for them that I hope to make it a seventh title!" Coming in at second on the list was the legendary Benson. Despite having only twenty edits in the past year, Benson has managed to rack up over twelve thousand links to his userpage. He still enjoys a several thousand link lead over slut number three, Thekillerfroggy. When asked how Benson managed to not only maintain his lead, but actually increase it, TKF said, "A wizard did it." In-depth investigation by this reporter revealed that Froggy's signature may have something to do with it, as random selection feature will occasionally cause TKF's sig to spam dozens of links to Benson's userpage, mostly in Dr. Skullthumper's userspace. UnSignpost gets new paper-boy Uncyclopedia's semi-official newspaper, enjoyed by literally several readers each week, has hired a brand new paper boy. This individual has been delivering the UnSignpost for the past two weeks. This cost cutting measure was announced after the guy with the keys to the delivery robots disappeared, taking the keys, several thousand dollars in cash, and a stapler with him. Unconfirmed rumours made up by me suggest that he intends to staple the money to the keys before turning the stapler on himself. The paper boy, who calls himself Gerrycheevers, says that it is a tough job, but he is glad to be able to contribute something. "It's a tough job," he told UnSignpost reporters "but I am glad to be able to contribute something." The young paper boy is saving up his pocket money to buy a new frisbee. The mammoth task has taken its toll on young Mr. Cheevers, leaving him with severe wrist pain and an acute hatred of humanity. "It totally messed up my wrists. I was out of action for days!" he said. Most Uncyclopedians are said to be happy with the new service, saying that they prefer the more personal touch that comes with human delivery. "Those damn robots trampled my garden, broke down my door and killed my dog with their death-rays" said one unfortunate Uncyclopedian. In a related story, Gerrycheevers has been 'throttled' from such activites as moving pages and making mass edits. His repetitive edits have apparently pissed off at least one admin, and Gerry is now limited to one edit per four hours. He has used these edits carefully, and has managed to find a new paperbot. This week, the UnSignpost will be delivered by MantiBot. Subscribers can only hope the new delivery system works out, or the UnSignpost may be doomed. |
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— MantiBot 
Owner 12:43, 22 August 2008 (UTC)
IRC[edit source]
IRC, now, we need to talk. -- Prof. Olipro 
KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 09:20, 23 August 2008 (UTC)
- Bring a tub of animal fat and your wellies. -- Sir Mhaille
(talk to me)
- All are welcome. All welcome. Go into the Light.
- Archive! ARCHIVE! ARCHIVE! ~ 13:16, 23 August 2008 (UTC)
- Archive! ARCHIVE! ARCHIVE! ~
- All are welcome. All welcome. Go into the Light.
- Nah, I like talking to humans, not wrinkled dicks. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 15:09, 23 August 2008 (UTC)
Reference[edit source]
You huffed the article Headless Chicken Mode at Rationalwiki. As you noted it was copied from Rationalwikiwiki. As it is deleted I can’t check but I am 90% sure I gave a reference. I frequently copy from one Wiki to another and I hardly ever overlook a reference. If I overlooked it that was a genuine oversight. Proxima Centauri 21:14, 25 August 2008 (UTC)
- In this specific case, it doesn't matter, I placed a {{vanity2}} tag long ago. I told you before, Proxima, that that article in it's current form, doesn't belong here. It is a private incident/behavior that belongs to a very limited group of people - ie, rational wiki editors. It doesn't belong here in my humble opinion. ~ 21:19, 25 August 2008 (UTC)
- I’m concerned about accusations of plagiarism. Proxima Centauri 04:24, 26 August 2008 (UTC)
- Being the writer of the article in question, I am fully qualified in saying it was plagiarism. Hans Johnson as in "keep ya hans off my" (cover your eyes!) 07:08, 29 August 2008 (UTC)
- You released the text under GNU FDL. Uncyclopedia were withing their rigihts to delete it as it didn't fit here. It was not plagiarism. Proxima Centauri 19:52, 29 August 2008 (UTC)
- Proxima, we're not looking at the GNU guidelines, we're looking for original material, not for cross-wiki text copy paste. ~ 08:59, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
- Proxima, we're not looking at the GNU guidelines, we're looking for original material, not for cross-wiki text copy paste. ~
- You released the text under GNU FDL. Uncyclopedia were withing their rigihts to delete it as it didn't fit here. It was not plagiarism. Proxima Centauri 19:52, 29 August 2008 (UTC)
- Being the writer of the article in question, I am fully qualified in saying it was plagiarism. Hans Johnson as in "keep ya hans off my" (cover your eyes!) 07:08, 29 August 2008 (UTC)
- I’m concerned about accusations of plagiarism. Proxima Centauri 04:24, 26 August 2008 (UTC)
- In this specific case, it doesn't matter, I placed a {{vanity2}} tag long ago. I told you before, Proxima, that that article in it's current form, doesn't belong here. It is a private incident/behavior that belongs to a very limited group of people - ie, rational wiki editors. It doesn't belong here in my humble opinion. ~
UnSignpost: August 28th, 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!
August 28th, 2008 • SEVENTEENTH ISSUE SPECTACULAR • Word to your mother
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Porn Wars End in Sticky Truce At exactly 10:28 pm (UTC), Sir Led Balloon did the honors of emblazoning a golden '1000' in the count to a million project, a true milestone on the journey to seven-digit greatness. Another user celebrated by gracing the page with an unprecedented one-thousand-and-one pixel high "1001", which was quickly taken down. The user was, needless to say, embarrassed, yet happy that the uncouth horde of devoted Uncyclopedians had finally reached the number 1000, as such a milestone had not been reached since the number 100 and the end of the Porn Wars. On that note, the Porn Wars ended earlier this week with a tentative truce between Commander Jailbait and General Pervert. The war began the week before, when Regret posted a pin-up girl to balance Orian's photo of a scantily-clad male, claiming he was "bringing balance back to the universe." Regret also stated he would "fight to the death"... or at least until Leddy stepped in, this time to call a "three-pornstuffs rule", which eventually ended the erotic feud. Meth, a constant editor on the forum, said "'twas a fortunate day for all under 18." Still, even with peace returning to the forum, not all is well in the land of counting. On the subject of reaching 1000, one dissenting user said: "Perhaps we should seriously consider stopping there. I mean that would be 1/1000 of the goal! Imagine doing this whole thing, 1000 times. That would mean 3000 archives, give or take." To which another user responded, "unfortunately for you, Nobody cares." Nevertheless, as long as there are users with nothing better to do, the Forum will always trudge on, giving Uncyclopedians something with which to kill thirty seconds, and also giving UnSignpost reporters something to write about. Lack of cure for testicular cancer kills 100 Uncyc members Uncycloversity members are still failing to find a cure for our previously mentioned testicular cancer, and to date, 100 people have died of said cancer. When nobody died, some user said it was a rumor made by some other user to piss us all off, right before clutching his balls in pain and dropping dead. Within an hour, about 16 more people died a cancer-related death. A live update shows that 105 users are now dead. You could be next! Don't panic, that'll make you die faster. Regret Tenenbaum, the user who originally warned of the disease, had this to say: "I TOLD YOU SO!" to which he added "Na-nanana-nanana!" The death toll is expected to reach into the thousands, with no end in sight. A memorial was set up earlier today to remember the dead, with one number added for every fallen Uncyclopedian. With fear and panic filling the hearts of users everywhere, there is one question that is on everyone's mind: "WHY GOD, WHY?!" Another live update show that 200 people have now died, and out of those, 10 people killed themselves in anxiety. Remember to always feel your testicles with your fingers. That's right. It helps prevent the cancer from reproducing. |
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YOU.[edit source]
What the hell are you doing!? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 02:04, Sep 2
- Removing all instances of a deleted template. See: VFD. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 02:08, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
Can I just ask?[edit source]
what exactly I did to piss you off? Also, do you ever archive your talk pages? My browser crashed. -- unpleased Ape (dance) (Riot Porn) 18:38, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
- Also did me pissing on your talk pages make your browser crash? Oh..... -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
- You were really annoying in IRC this one time. I think. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 19:10, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
- Really? What'd I do?-- unpleased Ape (dance) (Riot Porn) 19:16, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
- Not to reinvigorate Skullthumper drama, but you did !skully at a REALLY bad time, IIRC. So bad a time that it required a grudge. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 23:21, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
- Or a thunderous round of applause no doubt? -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
- Well can we finish with the grudge now? I'd rather not have any. -- unpleased Ape (dance) (Riot Porn) 19:52, 5 September 2008 (UTC)
- Or a thunderous round of applause no doubt? -- Sir Mhaille
- Not to reinvigorate Skullthumper drama, but you did !skully at a REALLY bad time, IIRC. So bad a time that it required a grudge. --
- Really? What'd I do?-- unpleased Ape (dance) (Riot Porn) 19:16, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
Teonaht[edit source]
Yesterday I wrote a hilarious article about the conlang Teonaht. However, when I came back for it today, I found it was deleted, with the explanation "fails QA". Why did you delete it? What does QA mean? 99.161.127.168 02:48, 3 September 2008 (UTC)
The Pants EP[edit source]
Hi there. I'd appreciate it very much if you could tell me why you voted for the Within Temptation 'Pants' EP page to be deleted. It's just confusing because all of the related pages were similarly written and yet that is the only one you voted for deletion. Thanks in advance Dark Artist
UnSignpost: September 4th, 2008[edit source]
In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!
September 4th, 2008 • Eighteenth Issue • STOP!! SIGNPOST TIME!!
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Uncyclopedia copies Conservapedia  Recently, on the fact-based no-spin-zone wiki known as Conservapedia, there has been debate raging over whether to ban all atheists from contributing. Apparently conservapedians believe atheists (those who deny the existence of the creator) to be at the very least a hinderance, and at the very most a hideous group of venom-spitting demon-eyed savages who feed on the blood of children. If this motion garners enough support it may become a 'Conservapedia Commandment', along with 'no girls allowed' and 'slow down, this is a neighborhood.' Mild amusement and complete apathy were rampant among Uncyclopedians yesterday. Some poked fun at the silly conservatives for proposing such a Nazi-esque measure. Others took up the reigns in a new thread: should atheists (of Cthulhu) be barred from Uncyclopedia? It seems support for this action is widespread, and soon 'Cthulhu tests' will be administered to random users at random times. Failure of such tests will result in soul consumption. User Heerenveen had this to say: "I believe that it shouldn't matter whether you are an avid worshipper of Cthulhu, just someone who pretends to like Cthulhu to fit in with your mates, or indeed a foaming-at-the-crotch atheist (of Cthulhu), you should be infinibanned from Uncyc regardless. Unless, of course, you are Cajek," to which Orian57 added, "Richard Dawkins is so sexy." As is the norm here on Uncyclopedia, the controversy was immediately parodied, and then the parody of the controversy was summarily parodied. It has yet to be seen whether the parody of the parody will in fact be parodied.
IN A WORLD where JUSTICE is a distant memory...where HOPE seems desperately out of reach...where THROATY BARITONES are hard to come by... ...ONE MAN performed voice-overs for OVER NINETY FOUR THOUSAND FILMS. His DEEPLY SONOROUS VOICE could turn even the most BORING movie into AN ALL-OUT THRILLER... ...Most famously known for THAT GEICO COMMERCIAL HE DID, that man's NAME was DON LAFONTAINE. Critics hailed him as 'THAT MOVIE TRAILER ANNOUNCER GUY' and 'THE DUDE WITH THE CRAZY VOICE'... ...On Monday, LaFontaine PASSED AWAY suddenly when a FIERY EXPLOSION in a SHRAPNEL FACTORY caused the TURBO-CHARGED SPORTSCAR in which he was being pursued by MONGOL HORDES to CAREEN OVER A CLIFF. He was 68...
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―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 5/09 16:50
Bob Dylan[edit source]
Who said it was not ready to go up? Like, you read it in ten seconds?
hello[edit source]
hello --sensilver 19:11, 13 September 2008 (UTC)
- sup -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 21:56, 13 September 2008 (UTC)
Toast[edit source]
There's a difference between a bad joke and a banworthy offence, IMO. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:23, 13 September 2008 (UTC)
- A blank is a blank. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 04:35, 14 September 2008 (UTC)
- Damn you and your moral absolutism! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 04:36, 14 September 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: September 11th, 2008[edit source]
Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!
September 11th, 2008 • Nineteenth Issue • All your readers are belong to us
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Uncyclopedia celebrates 9/11
 8 years ago, America was attacked or something. Uncyclopedians, who are true patriots, celebrated the eighth anniversary in true American fashion: by doing mostly nothing of interest to anyone but themselves. The UnSignpost devoted nine-hundred-eleven minutes of silence to the event Thursday by not even bothering to send itself out. "The Unsignpost was there nine years ago during those super not-kewl terrorist attacks," said chief writer Gerrycheevers. "I wasn't part of the staff then, so I promise that, in the 911th issue, we will devote a whole article to the events of that frabjuous day." In the 911th year of publication, the Unsignpost promises to dedicate the whole issue to 9/11 and those rascally terrorists. "We've already got 911 stories lined up for publication!" said staff photographer Larry. "It's too bad we have to wait so long to get them to the public, but that's what happens when you honor a holiday like this the way you're SUPPOSED to." Uncyclopedia's main page was 11/9-themed for the occasion. When Mordillo and Spang were alerted that nothing interesting happened on November ninth, 2001, Larry, Mordillo's public relations officer, claimed that "it [didn't] matter: One date is the same as the next. Why don't you Unsignpost people shut the hell up? Oh, and uh, I won't be able to come in Monday: it's my sister's wedding." Other wikis in cyberspace exist, and therefore did things relating to 9/11. Conservapedia, a conservative parody of Uncyclopedia, celebrated by drawing figures of Mohammed on their private nuclear stockpile. Legopedia celebrated by informing the public of Lego's new action series: 9/11: the Suckiest Thing Ever. Jengapedia honored the fallen by sponsoring a 911 minute championship Jenga competition. Liberalpedia, on the other hand, did nothing of any consequence. >:( FUCK YOU LIBERALS!! FUCK YOUUUU!!!! The Unsignpost would like to print a retraction of it's 47th issue from September 11th, 2001, wherein the terrorist attacks were called "super-kewl" and the terrorists themselves hailed as heroes. Those responsible have been sacked.
Conservation Week, also known as 'Rewrite-a-thon' or 'De-crap-ification', is upon our community once again. Twice a year, Uncyclopedians band together to clean out the weeds and squirrel corpses from promising trees found in the rewrite category, among other places. Due to the retirement of co-founder Jocke Pirat and quasi-inactiveness of co-founder THE, another user has stepped in with promises to annoy every user until they rewrite at least one article. That user shall remain anonymous. Opening day for this well-liked, popular, and intriguing event is Monday the 15th. The winner of the competition will receive the Greasy Mechanic Award for having rewritten the most articles in the two-week competition. Past winners include THE and Jocke Pirat. Be sure to participate early so as to avoid annoying requests to "rewrite an article, you lazy git!" The event has thrown into sharp relief the lack of Uncyclopedia events, or the excess of Uncyclopedia events, depending on who you ask. Ideas like Forest Fire Week and Everyone Edit A Ton Of Articles Week have not received much support, but may be enacted in the future to keep ADD-riddled Uncyclopedians something to do for five minutes. RC takes home NotM After years of fruitless nominations, Rcmurphy has finally won n00b of the Month. The announcement came last week, when none of the three candidates fufilled the requirements necessary for winning the n00by. It seemed the two new users had both failed to write an article, and So So did not meet the main n00bishness requirement. Since there was no clear winner, the award went to Rc by Rule 4.1, Clause 3 of the NotM eligibility guidelines. As far as the NotM badge itself, it was initally placed on So So's userpage. After relenquishing the honor to Rcmurphy, So So proceeded to foul the badge and offer it to the user who wanted it the most. After the planned Panel of Penis Monkeys from Outer Space cancelled, a phone-in contest was held, in which Colin "All your base" Heaney dominated the competiton. He took home the badge and now proudly displays the feces-ridden merit on his userpage. In a related story, Rcmurphy is up for NotM yet again. However, he is facing stiff competition from W.T. Door, a U.S. Navy seamen who spends his time swabbing decks, battoning down hatches, and writing cool stuff. |
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— MantiBot Owner 11:40, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
WHY?[edit source]
Did you ban RMS? What did (s)he do? Is it cos he moved that userpage? What happened? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 03:13, 24 September 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: October 3rd, 2008[edit source]
Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth
October 2nd, 2008 • ALL-KITTEN ISSUE • Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!
According to Wikia staff member Sannse, Uncyclopedia's advertising revenue is below expectations and must rename itself to appeal to the younger generation. "I think the problem is that 'Uncyclopedia' has lost its edge," Sannse said to a crowd of squirrels and kittens gathered around the Uncyclo-stables last Saturday, "...all of which is contained in its name." Older users, like Mordillo, the jew who secretly controls "Uncyc," and TheLedBalloon, who is an inanimate balloon, strongly petition for the name to stay the same. The Unsignpost couldn't be bothered to actually read the forum that Sannse created, but we're assuming that everyone's against changing the name to "Asparagus.org" or something. The name change will reflect the personalities and interests of every single contributor. "Yeah, Asparagus.org is gonna have to do until we figure out what would be a good name," Sannse yelled at a local gathering of squirrels in Uncyclopedia's break room. Many users have complained about the change, but not AsparagusSignPost, which has run into a little trouble with the law recently, and doesn't want to go back to jail by disobeying "the man" or causing "drama". Because, as we ALL know, some head writers have been banned a whole bunch of times for being "different". So to Asparagus.org we say: "Keep the funnies coming, unless someone is forecasting your doom again..."
 For the first time in over two weeks, the flaming death of this silly wiki has been predicted in some form. Last time it was that stain that looked puzzlingly like Jimbo Wales, the time before it was that bird that flew overhead. You know the one I mean. This time around, undead user Necropaxx has pointed out several recent disturbing trends that seem to mean only one thing: Uncyc is about to suffer its death throes. It seems this time that the demise of the wiki will also utterly destroy the souls of every one of the dozens of users who contribute here regularly. Tidings such as this have frightened new users such as September NotM Multiliteralist, who had his to say: "Oh no." Several of the signs that Uncyclopedia is doomed are unarguably true: VFP is stagnant due to the lack of Zombiebaron activity. The Pee Review queue is backed up worse than a public toilet after Cinco de Mayo. Modusoperandi seems to be malfunctioning, as he has dispensed with his usual biting wit in favor of just plain biting. It appears, in at least a few users' eyes, that Uncyc has "jumped the kitten". Lack of News Wreaks Havoc on UnSignpost In an unprecedented press conference earlier this week, UnSignpost editor-in-chief Mr. Gerry Cheevers (the user, not the hockey player) admitted that "This week's issue is actually still a blank template", further stating "I've been swamped at work, and today developed cold-like symptoms." However, some experts disagree on the cause of an UnSignpost devoid of news. "There is an obvious explanation for the lack of gratifying news stories in the USP this week," said Mr. News Guy, the world-renowned news reporter, kitten enthusiast, and unicycle-fetish expert. "There is just no news to report on," he continued, to which the reporter we borrowed from UnNews responded "And what's causing this lack of news?" "That's just it! There's no news to report on!" "So... you're saying is, the reason there's no news is because there's no news?" "Exactly! And it's just a matter of time until some attention whore writes a stupid and redundant story on the fact that there's no news!" This story is dedicated to the memory of Mr. News Guy, whose body was recovered from the Los Angeles river the next day. |
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-- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:27, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: October 10th 2008[edit source]
Now With 0 Trans Fat!
October 9th, 2008 • Twenty-First Issue • Bursting with Crunchy Goodness!
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Uncyclopedia Stock Plummets  Uncyclopedia stockholders are in a state of panic after shares of Uncyclomedia fell over 60% this week amid fears of a writing recession. "I just can't gamble on a rebound," said one investor as he carefully climbed out onto his window ledge overlooking Wall Street, perhaps seeking some fresh air. "With the current economic and comedic climate, and rumors of the destruction of the website, it looks like Uncyc Incorporated is about to fold." Other investors are slightly more optimistic. We ran into a smartly dressed woman in the Uncyc break room and were intrigued as to why a female would ever have enough confidence in the wiki to invest the large sum of one dollar bills she was counting. It turned out that she was a stripper, but we did eventually find someone who still had faith in the company. "There's so much more to the Uncyclopedia Empire than just the humor wiki," said confident money-man Chet Hardluck. "There's the kitten factory, the escort service, the games & sports division...and don't forget the world's largest boron-smelting plant!" When it was pointed out that these claims are in fact bollocks (except for the boron plant), Hardluck joined the queue of businessmen waiting their turn to get some frsh air on the suddenly popular ledge. The fate of the Uncyclopedia corporation remained unclear at press time. Some say that if Uncyc stock plummets through enough negative numbers, the stock will reset itself at zero, resulting in huge negative negative profits for those who bought the stock whilst it was negative. Uncyclopedia announces invasion of YouTube The first upload began a series of incursions onto YouTube by all types of Uncyclopedians. Some made sense, such as article narrations and UnTunes. Some were questionable, such as the gangsta rap video by the usually timid Sycamore. But nearly 99% of all material in the 'Uncyclopedia' category is patent nonsense, such as a visualization of AAAAAAA!, faceoffs between George Bush & Kanye West and Steve Ballmer & various other injokes, and a 'don't blink contest' featuring Gert5 staring into a camera for nine hours. |
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— Sir Sycamore (talk) 18:41, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: 21 October 2008[edit source]
Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!
October 16th, 2008 • Twenty-Second Issue • Now with 40% more Batman!
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Uncyc Users throw Support Behind Joe Plumber  Uncyclopedians today officially declared their undying allegience to Joe Plumber, a newcomer in the upcoming U.S. presidential election. Plumber was thrust into the spotlight last night at the second of many dreadfully boring presidential debates between those two or more candidates currently jockeying for the office. His name was mentioned no less than twenty-four dozen times by the candidates, with each claiming that Joe sided with him on issues such as healthcare, tax increases, and the 'Canada Problem'. One candidate even went so far as to claim that he and Plumber were 'buddies', and that Plumber installed a new bathtub in his palatial presidential candidate mansion last July. Several prominent Uncyclopedians spoke out in vehement support of Plumber, citing his many qualifications to be the leader of the free world. "He's a maverick in the plumbing industry," said staunch pro-Plumberer Colin "All your base" Heaney. "He also has a plan to live the American Dream, through the infinite wisdom of buying his own plumbing company. America needs dreamers, Gerry." Despite being asked to stop commenting, Heaney went on to say that Plumber "cleans people's pipes on a regular basis." Other supporters of Joe Plumber's campaign and platform included inanimate objects such as TheLedBalloon. "The most important thing to know about Joe Plumber is that he is AMERICAN, in bold italics underlined and all caps, just like that." When asked to give another example of how patriotic both he and Plumber are, Mr. Balloon replied, "Just picture him standing in front of a flag with the Star Spangled Banner playing in the background, and you'll know why I support his presidency." Current polls show Plumber trailing in the presidential race, with an estimated zero percent of all voters. His backers are trying to spread the word about Joe's tax relief plan, his rugged good looks, and his skill with a pair of slip-nose pliers. Uncylopedia Issues Food Stamps Due to the recent downturn in the economy, Uncyclopedia officials have issued hundreds of food stamps to users who have no means of feeding themselves. These users might be out of a job or have no arms. In any case, these food stamps are to be given out on alternate Thursdays, except for odd-numbered months, months ending in 'y' or 'r', and April. They will be available at the Uncyclopedia Meat Depot, the boron smelting plant, or by calling the new food stamps hotline. These food stamps will be valid for purchasing a wide variety of nutritious and delicious items from the Uncyclopedia Farmer's Market and Livestock Emporium. Included are items such as pre-packed huffable kittens, gummi grues, and AAAAAAA! cookies.
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--Sycamore (Talk) 09:41, 21 October 2008 (UTC)
VFH thanks[edit source]
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***You Are Dead*** Necropaxx's soul-felt thanks go with you for the For vote on Grim Reaper. Remember, Grim's just a normal guy with the greatest job in the world. |
Thanks again :) • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 15:33, Oct 21
This is it, man![edit source]
We're on our way to the bigtime! This is our chance to get outta this stagnant town and make it! I can see it now: Our names up in lights, people everywhere knowing our names...We're gonna be famous! I just know it! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:47, Oct 29
Hey[edit source]
Thanks for the welcome, it made me perk up a little. But why did you delete my self portrait? Jealousy? Low self-esteem? --RAHB's Penis 03:19, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
FotC!!![edit source]
Yay! :D -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 05:56, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: 3-ish November 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper Not Secretly Controlled By Mordillo, We Swear!
November 3rd-ish, 2008 • Twenty-Third Issue • Better than things that aren't as good!
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Address Change: Return To Sender? If you are one of those people, here's a brief summary of the incident:
If you aren't one of those people, here's an even briefer summary:
More on this ongoing situation as we get it. Probably. Glorious return to form for MrN! Fellow poopsmith and genial man-about-town UU said of the momentous occasion: "you what? MrN? Oh yeah, him. Good bloke. Knows his underwear". Then he scratched his nose reflectively and wandered off. MrN himself was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press/we couldn't be bothered to interview him (delete as you think applicable), but the UnSignpost fondly imagines he would have smiled enigmatically, raised an eyebrow quizzically, nodded appreciatively, and said "PANTS!" predictably. The pants themselves were also unavailable for comment. |
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Shoved through the letterbox for the one and only time by UU - natter 11:31, Nov 6
UnSignpost: 13th November 2008[edit source]
Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!
November 13th, 2008 • Issue 24 • So close to journalism you'll be hard pushed to know the difference!
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Uncyclopedian does something vaguely noteworthy in "real life" Mickey has so far failed to live up to Uncyclopedia's proudest traditions, by actually being quite good at the game. Indeed, at the time of writing, he'd won several games, including what he modestly described as "an awesome numbers game, beating Carol". He also shamelessly mentioned his connection to the site in a recent episode, leading to quite literally no extra edits to the Countdown article - still, thanks for the plug, Mick! Having spent time in the company of such notable international icons as Des O'Connor (no, we don't have a page on him, so there's no link), Paul Zenon (nope, nothing on him either) and Suzy Dent (spotting a pattern here, non-UK readers?) Mickey is now Uncyclopedia's most prominent celebrity, and it's surely only a matter of time before he appears on Strictly Come Dancing or Celebrity Big Brother, and has a lurid kiss-and-tell exposé in Heat Magazine. Various "...of the month" award candidates - November's in-depth analysis Uncyclopedian of the Month: Controversial nominees abound here, as serial ban collector Cajek goes head-to-head with Wikia corporate mouthpiece Sannse. The hyperactive one with the light blue sig is in the lead at present. But! As with certain other popular recent votes, there is a third candidate inexplicably attracting little attention - Dexter111344, a site maintenance and VFD stalwart. Who will win? Only you can decide (and all the other people who vote, obviously). Noob of the Month: No-one. Yet. Find a noob doing something vaguely decent and nominate them please! Otherwise the UnSignpost may just have to bring back the ultimate dead horse for yet more flogging and nom Rcmurphy again. Useless Gobshite of the Month: Kip the Dip is out on his own for this one so far. Having proved an exemplary gobshite for months on end, despite being cruelly denied the recognition of this award, the UnSignpost feels that his time is now, and is abandoning all pretence at unbiased journalism: VOTE KIP FOR UGotM! |
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MrN9001 12:59, 13 November 2008 (UTC)
Two (or more) things (I'm too lazy/decaffeinated/tired to count properly)[edit source]
-When will you archive this monstrosity of text?
-Why was Colin Heaney blocked?
- Do you have any plans to unblock him?
Thanks,
04:29, 18 November 2008 (UTC)
- What did Colin do that was so bad? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 07:02, 18 November 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: 20th November2008[edit source]
The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things
November 20th, 2008 • #100/4 • Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.
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UnSignpost Stumbles past 6 month milestone In true UnSignpost fashion, the editors noticed this about 2 weeks late - the Signpost having been so gloriously conceived (and never was a word more aptly suited to this juvenile-as-all-get-out publication) by Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek back in early May. The first issue rolled off the presses on May 8th, bringing you such earth-shattering news as "Rcmurphy nommed for Noob of the Month again" and "Uncyclopedia F**king Doomed", as well as establishing Signpost tradition with "Spacefiller of the week" (something about Grand Theft Auto). The editor's office here at USP should probably have had a revolving door installed, having been occupied at various times since Cajek and Skull abandoned it by THEDUDEMAN, Gerrycheevers, Heerenveen and some other numpty - although this is small change compared to the number of delivery bots and boys that have thrust the latest issue, still warm, through your letter flaps. Over the months, many other contributors have helped to keep the UnSignpost in its deserved position of "only weekly-ish newspaper on the wiki" - possibly by being so lame that no-one wanted to bother doing another one. And, having brought you such shattering exclusives as "Wookiepedia Too Cool For Cajek", "Porn Wars End in Sticky Truce" and "RC takes home NotM", the UnSignpost shows no sign of speeding up. Maybe one day, the unstoppable forces of apathy will finally overcome those who still labour under the impression that people actually care about seeing block log entries and biopics arrive on their talk page weekly, and the UnSignpost will grind to a halt. But until then, it will continue to bring you all the old news you've already seen somewhere else, whether you like it or not! UnSportsPost
In response to quite literally some demand, your ever-topical, finger-on-the-pulse UnSignpost brings you all the latest sports news that's unfit to print!
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MrN9001 20:56, 20 November 2008 (UTC)