User:CheddarBBQ/arch7
September 26, 2009 - April 11, 2010
Highlights include:
- Arguing over names and Egyptian prostitutes (4)
- Mid-flight checkup (20)
- I become friends with Ohnogodnotagain (48)
- Friendly chat about murder (54)
- Guildy complains about his football team's suckingness (60)
- UnSignpost: I helped! (69 lol)
RAAAAAAAPE![edit | edit source]
Nice meeting you! —Pelozurian (talk) 23:28, 11 April 2010 (UTC)
- Wow. Nice timing. Where the fuck is Socky? It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
23:31,11April,2010
- Fuck Socky? Yes please.--Sir ~HELPME~ Count! Awards! Pee! Help! 01:08, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
- Is there a difference between fucking a sock and masturbation? Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 02:52, Apr 12 2010 UTC
- No, but don't forget that underneath the sock is an unregistered user. —Pelozurian (talk) 02:58, 12 April 2010 (UTC)
- Is there a difference between fucking a sock and masturbation? Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 02:52, Apr 12 2010 UTC
- Fuck Socky? Yes please.--Sir ~HELPME~ Count! Awards! Pee! Help! 01:08, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
- Where am I, whats that sound? AHH!
PEEEEEEEEE[edit | edit source]
thanks for pissing on my shit -- 
GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 21:04 EST 11 April, 2010
| [[File:{{{image}}}|link={{{link}}}]] CheddarBBQ |
- Awesome. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 01:30,12April,2010
OH, BTW, yeah, since whoring is encouraged in this whoring zone, VOTE Earth for March Top 3!!!!!111!!11one11!!!eleven!!!!! -- GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 23:37 EST 12 April, 2010
Thanks[edit | edit source]
I kept this woman locked away the whole time I wrote Sideboob, and when I let her out she ran to the beach like she owned the damn thing. Thanks for your vote, it really helped secure the pics and the written drivel onto the front page. Appreciated. Al sans chains 13:49 12 4 mmx
Namechange[edit | edit source]
Dude, why don't you change thy username to something cooler, italian and food-unrelated? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA 
AMUSE ME 15:02, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
- I'm not jumping on the whole name-change bandwagon
- There is nothing cooler than Smokin' Cheddar BBQ Doritos.
- CheddarBBQ is a kickass name
It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 
19:13,12April,2010
- What ever, dude, it's your name, not mine. On an unrelated sidenote, email me your phone number so that I can
stalk you properlycall you up some day or another. I want to hear your real voice, you know. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA
AMUSE ME 22:12, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
- Are you kidding? That would be insanely long-distance/ It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 22:18,12April,2010
- I'm changing my name to Jimbo Wales, and then will buy this place and turn it into an ad site for liquid soap. Jimbo Wales 22:21 12 4 MMX
- Chedd: Why? Are you in Italy or the US? Either way, I can afford it.
- Al: Jimbo already has an account here. So no, change it to Robert Murdoch or something, it'd be easier. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 22:37, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
- I don't doubt that you could afford it. You're Egyptian, so you have, like, ancient gold or something. I can't afford it though. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 22:58,12April,2010
- Haha! No. I just have an excess of 100something pounds in "extra balance", accumulated over the years. I just want to get rid of them, and the only way is long-distance calls. :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:03, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
- Yeah, I figured it was something like that. Ya know, if you REALLY wanted to spend it, you could always mail me a couple of Egyptian prostitutes... It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 23:06,12April,2010
- They'd suffocate on their way, or something. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:09, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
- You could poke holes in their boxes. Or kennels, or whatever you use. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 23:12,12April,2010
- They'd die from dehydration, or something. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:19, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
- You could give them their usual salary in booze. Just make sure to put it in sippy cups, so they don't drink it all too fast. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 23:24,12April,2010
- They wouldn't be able to use their hands while confined to a 1x1x1 box. Also, they'd choke on the booze. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:31, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
- Go all hamster bottle on that bitch. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 23:33,12April,2010
- She'd choke. Listen man, why don't you just come over here, get done with them, and save me the trouble? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:37, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
- The whole point of the prostitutes is for you to be able to spend your money. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 23:40,12April,2010
- The whole point of the prostitutes is for you to be able to spend your money. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- I can spend it without shipping whores to the US or Sicily or whereverthehellyouare. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:54, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
- She'd choke. Listen man, why don't you just come over here, get done with them, and save me the trouble? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA
- Buy yourself a bag of Smokin' Cheddar BBQ Doritos. With how rare they've been, they have to be worth at least $5,822 a bag by now. Also, go vote. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 23:58,12April,2010
- Go all hamster bottle on that bitch. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- They wouldn't be able to use their hands while confined to a 1x1x1 box. Also, they'd choke on the booze. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA
- You could give them their usual salary in booze. Just make sure to put it in sippy cups, so they don't drink it all too fast. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- They'd die from dehydration, or something. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA
- You could poke holes in their boxes. Or kennels, or whatever you use. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- They'd suffocate on their way, or something. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA
- Yeah, I figured it was something like that. Ya know, if you REALLY wanted to spend it, you could always mail me a couple of Egyptian prostitutes... It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- Haha! No. I just have an excess of 100something pounds in "extra balance", accumulated over the years. I just want to get rid of them, and the only way is long-distance calls. :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA
- I don't doubt that you could afford it. You're Egyptian, so you have, like, ancient gold or something. I can't afford it though. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- I'm changing my name to Jimbo Wales, and then will buy this place and turn it into an ad site for liquid soap. Jimbo Wales 22:21 12 4 MMX
- Are you kidding? That would be insanely long-distance/ It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- What ever, dude, it's your name, not mine. On an unrelated sidenote, email me your phone number so that I can
Pee review[edit | edit source]
Your pee review is done. It looks like the work of a moron, I must admit, but within the body of the review is wisdom and a way to data-load. If I were a christian I would run from you, for fear of damage to my immortal soul. Al sans chains 00:30 14 4 mmx
- Wow. You suck at Pee Reviews. LOL JK OMGLOLOLOLOLZZ It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 00:33,14April,2010
- I corrected your table failure. M=miscellaneous. Don't put words in the score box, please. You read UN:PRG yet?--Sir ~HELPME~ Count! Awards! Pee! Help! 00:34, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
- I suck at the format of my first pee review, but look within for the kernels, say the Chinese laundryman. Al the peer reviewsorus a few minutes later
- I'm kind of confused by what you meant with the link comment. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 01:04,14April,2010
- I'm kind of confused by what you meant with the link comment. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- I suck at the format of my first pee review, but look within for the kernels, say the Chinese laundryman. Al the peer reviewsorus a few minutes later
- I corrected your table failure. M=miscellaneous. Don't put words in the score box, please. You read UN:PRG yet?--Sir ~HELPME~ Count! Awards! Pee! Help! 00:34, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
UnSignpost 15/4/10 - Yet another on time delivery.[edit | edit source]
The Newspaper That Contains Neither News Nor Paper.
Apr 15th, 2010 • Issue 84 • News? Where we're going, we don't need... News...
|
Something Scary This Way "Comes"
 A recent infestation of glowing dildos has taken over the front page of Uncyclopedia. Many users were shocked on April 11th when they opened up their web browsers and were treated to bright green replicas of EugeneKay's penis. Everywhere. Even poor anti-Semite Mel Gibson couldn't escape the wrath of the glowing dick. And the reason for the Scream in Edvard Munch's famous painting was revealed - turns out to have been caused by a hoard of giant glowing EugeneKay penises - an understandable reaction. When asked to comment on the matter, users simply refused to acknowledge that they had seen the penises at all. "Well, I for one didn't notice anything. Glowing penii are so common around here that these particular examples of illuminated manhood really didn't make an impression..." said Aleister in Chains. HELPME had a different outlook on the whole matter: "of course I noticed, how couldn't I? They were everywhere!" he exclusively told our intrepid reporter. Random internet traffic took notice of the infestation as well, with 127.0.0.1 commenting" "Ballsack!!!11 alolololololololooll pasfsdkjfhaelkfjds PENIS PENIS PENIS." He was promptly banned. The infestation passed almost as quickly as it came and a sense of normalcy returned to the main page when the penises retreated into the dark and abysmal graveyard of unused image files. By April 13th, all traces of the Great Penis Invasion of April 11-13 2010 (as it is now being called) were gone. There are, however, unconfirmed reports that the menace still lingers close to the main page, just waiting to strike again soon. I See IC All At Sea
 We didn't need to ask the outgoing Admiral for a comment, as he was falling over himself to give us plenty, so we randomly selected the following: "I'm anal for accuracy", he told us. Among other things. Anyway, if you want to follow in Why?'s footsteps, and those of his illustrious predecessors in charge of the Colonization project, you can sign up to be considered for the post here. If it helps, you may wear a nice hat (please provide your own hat). |
| ||||
| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | |||||
--ChiefjusticeXBox360 20:34, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
Huff[edit | edit source]
I assume it was both of those redirects you no longer needed...? Let me know if you need either unhuffisated. :-) Rabbi Techno 
kvetch 
Contribs 
FOXES 17:52, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
Emo Thanks[edit | edit source]
|
You made an emo girl happy! Because of your vote you gave, you have earned a kiss from that happy emo girl, as well as being spared from an mean emo's wrath.Iwillkillyou333 is also happy he made this nice, depressed template as a nice thank you. Now go get that emo girl's number, and take her to watch a warehouse fire. Fun, isn't it? |
--
Director
WILL
YOU 333 02:30, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
- Holy crap that's awesome. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 02:53,22April,2010
Thanks![edit | edit source]
Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.
I, like, appreciate your support, or something.
—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 05:15, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
Alice[edit | edit source]
I'm just following Skin's timetable to get this up on pee review, but this doesn't leave out anything. Alice should be included, and I think we should leave the page off of mainspace until all of us are happy with it. I think the whole page needs more funny, way too literal and factual without the funny. But there is lots of time left to add in/take out, and if you want to do Alice, type away. I didn't see it, so I'd be of no help with that one (I would like to expand Beetlejuice a little more, for example). So what we'll do is get a pee review, hopefuly by someone with a neutral eye and good critique skills, and then we start that next rewriting phase of the process. Make sense to you, or would you suggest something different? Alice at the palace. Aleister in Wonderland 2:32 23 4
- I knew you'd do that for the sig. I'm psychic. Also, Alice is the 1st Disney Digital 3d movie I've ever seen (in fact, the first movie I've seen with the non-red/blue 3d) It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 02:36,23April,2010
- Psychic? How many fingers am I holding up (you have to pick something between zero and two!). What card am I holding in my hand? What am I holding in my hand? Please run with Alice. The best 3D I've seen was that Beuwolf film a couple of years ago, awesome, sitting in the second row center. Avatar didn't do it for me 3D-wise, but a good film. Did you see Beuwolf? (I didn't like it as much until I moved to my traditional row, 2nd, but more in the center than I like). Al holding one or no more fingers up 2:42 23 4
- Never saw Beowulf, saw Avatar in 2d. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 19:16,23April,2010
- The Tim Burton page is mainspaced, and we should put Alice in under "9". Please go ahead and write it (you may be the only one of us who saw it, I didn't at least). Good catch on Ghosts, thanks. I didn't even think of Binky and the rest. Added a reference into the Haunted House section, and while I was in that section put in some good edits in areas I felt just a little uncomfortable with, so thanks again. Now, Chicken, if we get Skin's ok on that it looks like the next page. I'm gonna go save it for the collab, and would suggest we just work in mainspace on the page with a construction tag. Sound okay? Al sans chains 20:24 27 4
- Yep. I'll get on Alice as soon as possible (get it, get it?) It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 20:28,27April,2010
- I knew one Alice I could tell tales about. Saw you poked the ghosts up a notch, thanks! Appreciated. Hey, you know why nobody's done chicken yet? When you search for it it goes right to Category:Chicken and not to an empty page! Have never seen that before here, but all the better. I'll ask an admin to open it up for us, stick a construction tag on, and if we so decide we have a wide-open field to chase the chickens around in. Eggy. Al sans chains 20:40 27 4
- Mmkay. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 20:50,27April,2010
- Mmkay. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- I knew one Alice I could tell tales about. Saw you poked the ghosts up a notch, thanks! Appreciated. Hey, you know why nobody's done chicken yet? When you search for it it goes right to Category:Chicken and not to an empty page! Have never seen that before here, but all the better. I'll ask an admin to open it up for us, stick a construction tag on, and if we so decide we have a wide-open field to chase the chickens around in. Eggy. Al sans chains 20:40 27 4
- Yep. I'll get on Alice as soon as possible (get it, get it?) It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- The Tim Burton page is mainspaced, and we should put Alice in under "9". Please go ahead and write it (you may be the only one of us who saw it, I didn't at least). Good catch on Ghosts, thanks. I didn't even think of Binky and the rest. Added a reference into the Haunted House section, and while I was in that section put in some good edits in areas I felt just a little uncomfortable with, so thanks again. Now, Chicken, if we get Skin's ok on that it looks like the next page. I'm gonna go save it for the collab, and would suggest we just work in mainspace on the page with a construction tag. Sound okay? Al sans chains 20:24 27 4
- Never saw Beowulf, saw Avatar in 2d. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- Psychic? How many fingers am I holding up (you have to pick something between zero and two!). What card am I holding in my hand? What am I holding in my hand? Please run with Alice. The best 3D I've seen was that Beuwolf film a couple of years ago, awesome, sitting in the second row center. Avatar didn't do it for me 3D-wise, but a good film. Did you see Beuwolf? (I didn't like it as much until I moved to my traditional row, 2nd, but more in the center than I like). Al holding one or no more fingers up 2:42 23 4
Pacman porn[edit | edit source]
Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 01:54, Apr 29 2010 UTC
- :D It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 02:01,29April,2010
Timmy Burton[edit | edit source]
I just finished masturbating to the Pac-man porn, so give me a moment to clean up. Ok, that should do it. Nice ride! Did you see the Tim Burton review came in from Black Flamingo? I left a note on the Tim talk page, so now another step to take. I checked with Puppy to see if he could do an edit sweep and Puppyize the page. If you could go through it again and step on some toes too, we just have to tie-it in more, add a bit more funny, etc. Will see what Puppy thinks. My mother is sucking cocks in hell right now, so I've gotta go get in line. Later, Al sans chains 11:14 30 4
- Did you just ask me if I saw the review yet? You do know I was one of the first people to comment on it on Flamingo's page, right? It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 19:08,30April,2010
- Jeez, you get around faster than a horse on a fast track. Puppy may help with the edits, which would be nice. I'll go read the Black Flamingo talk, lots of irons in the fire and six have melted already. Al enjoyinghismotherinhell 22:58 30 4
Photochopper!!![edit | edit source]
You won! That is so cool. I am literally more happy about you winning than my win. Yay! Al sans chains!!! 00:02 1 5 MMX
- I did? It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 00:47,1May,2010
UnSignpost 1 May[edit | edit source]
May contain traces of humor!
April 22nd 1st May, 2010 • Issue 85 • Insert penis joke here
|
The launch of a new and exciting weekend edition. Maybe. "Where is my signpost?" was the cry heard from the world wide masses this week. "There should have been an issue on the 22nd and on the 29th, and nothing seems to have been done about it." Fear not, gentle reader, for the signpost will not go gentle into the good night. We have instead taken a brief hiatus for no reason that we could conceivably come up with, and now we are back in a blaze of glory. For those who are unaware of our proud history, the next issue, coming out this Thursday, will mark the (roughly) 2 year anniversary of the creation of the UnSignpost, the unperiodic periodical started by Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek. The good doctor, at the time of the first issue, was asked what his feelings were towards creating the first formalised forum for spam within Uncyclopedia. It was from this that we now have the immortal words "Those assholes better appreciate this. They'd BETTER." Now, two years on from those words of wit and wisdom, the UnSignpost is still There have been varied reports as to why the USP has not been released. One suggestion is that regular contributors just "couldn't be bothered writing." Others have suggested that it comes down to the unwillingness of the head editor, who was recently heard to say "I'm so against... this... again... (E)xistence is far more than (it) deserves."[1] One of the more probable reasons for the lack of issues may be that the news has now gone viral, and is available more readily through facebook then it has been previously. One facebook semi-regular, who bears a remarkable resemblance to a Silent Bob inaction figure, has said of this development "Excuse me, but I think your geek is showing." Dexter111344 supported the move to the social networking site by saying "I won't be joining as I don't intend to ever make a Facebook." Another possibility is the number of users now communicating via UnSkypelopedia. When asked for a comment, EMC said "OH FUCKING CHRIST I'VE CUM" Dr.Skullthumper, however, said "I started both of them.", and then wished to make reference to some forum or something. Ethine, however, was somewhat more constructive, informing this reporter that "Since it's getting close to summer, we'll likely have more calls, as most people's schedules are slowing down. As well as calls, we have the neat little chat thing at the bottom, where everyone sexually harasses each other when calls aren't going." Despite several attempts, I still haven't been sexually harassed. One reason why users have not been as distracted recently is due to the enormous amount of work going on at PEE review. At present there are articles waiting for review which have been there for over three weeks. For all those who are looking to get the review process back and alive, please pick up an article for review today. Your time and investment into this proud tradition can create the next great article, like the recently featured A wizard did it or the recently nominated UnNews:Windows 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 came out, hailed by some as "the most profound and groundbreaking article to hit Uncyclopedia in over 50 years" Another reason why many users may be distracted is the number of collaborations that are currently in progress. Of those there is Tim Burton, being cleaned up by the team at ΥΣΣ, lead by the fantastic Skinfan13. Also starting to make some ground in the spread of reliable information is the team at Multiliteralist/Summit of Spin, lead by the wonderful Multiliteralist. And of course, coming out blinking from seeing the light of Discordianism is the ever faithful Imperial colonization, lead by everyone's favourite canine, And of course, another reason might simply be that the team here at USP are all running around arranging bake sales to assist with Poo Lit Surprise, the bi-annual competition that actually gives prizes to the winners. The most likely explanation, however, is that nothing newsworthy ever happens on Uncyclopedia |
| |||||||
| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | ||||||||
Brought to you by fucking magic. —Sir Socky
(talk) (stalk)
GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 11:18, 1 May 2010
April USS Collab[edit | edit source]
This person was a principal contributor to the April, 2010 ΥΣΣ Collaboration, helping Upsilon Sigma Sigma create Top 50 Requested content.
Thanks for all the hard work last month! -- GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 22:05 EST 1 May, 2010
Thanks![edit | edit source]
- So true. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 02:22,3May,2010
Sandstorm, and your opening pic[edit | edit source]
Your opening pic on the top of this talk page, WTF? Nice.---Thanks for your vote on Sandstorm. An IP and some jerk, both who came into Uncy for a one-time edit, a no vote, are likely the same guy. Grrrrr. Your comment about the colour of that one section, the gold seemed the closest to the colour of sand and it matches the photo right above it. To me it seems to fit well, even though it's hard to read. If it really bugs you more than I like it, let's change it to tan, which is a boring sand colour but would work too. YMSCIHMF. Al sans chains 00:15 15 5 MMX
- Yeah, it sucks when you get stuck with assholes like that. As for the text, I see what you mean, I was just looking at the pic below it. An extremely bright tan (which they unfortunately don't have) would be the best, but you can go whichever way you like. As for the pic, yes, it's amazing. Someone sent me a message before asking if I knew what movie that was from. I was like "No, but I'm going to use that for fucking everything from now on. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 00:20,15May,2010
- You could do a whole page around it. "Sperm, the Serial Killer Whale" or something. Thanks for the colour Okay, I do tend to listen to comments on VFH, it's like another pee review imnho. YMSSpermIHMF. Al sans chains 00:25 15 5 MMX
Thanks for your vote on Warm piss Sandstorm. If you take enough sand, mix it with beer, then piss on it, what do you get? Vatican Ale! Appreciated. Al des chains 15:59 21 5 MMX
Frat news[edit | edit source]
I totally love that opening gif. Skinfan ran off again, studies and duties, he's in Hungary now (maybe he can travel to Italy and you guys can wine and dine). He foolishly put me in charge again, and I'll do my best. Will keep Chicken open to work on until it gets into real good shape. And at the same time we should put another page up too, for variety and to keep to a one-a-month thing. Would you be ok with Taco? It's one Paizuri can get his teeth into. Or do you have another in mind. Is there one you would love to work on? That's the important thing. OK, more soon. Al des chains 17:10 2 6 mmx
- Taco's fine. But my upcoming weeks are busy, don't know how well I'll be able to help. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 02:26,3June,2010
- Ah, Taco. Paizuri declares it so. And since it is a frat, if you have things to do in the next few weeks, we will all help you. Al des chains 3:38 3 6 MMX
Puritan Poetical Thanks[edit | edit source]
Thank you supporting my recently featured article.
You're sexy.
—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:31, June 7, 2010 (UTC)
And yes, I would like to suck on you testicles. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:31, June 7, 2010 (UTC)
Sir?!? Excuse me sir???[edit | edit source]
Are you enjoying the flight? Can I get you anything? Fluff your pillow? Cook your taco? Adjust your seating, airflow, overhead light or oxygen? Ok then, I salute you! ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* 
(talk) (stalk) Π ~ 
~ 12 Jun 2010 ~ 05:08 (UTC)
thanks says the kite[edit | edit source]
THANK YOU for voting on Hello there! I'm a kite, and I will ruin your day! You are the BEST! I will kill you. What? I didn't say anything.User:Mrthejazz/sig 02:18, June 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Say there, what the hell you think you be doin' on my property?! Go on now, git! It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 02:32,18June,2010
Danke[edit | edit source]
|
YOU'VE BEEN HOZED!!!
|
|
| Rev_zim has performed a Hozing on your soul; apparently you've done wrong in the eyes of doG. Take off, eh?!. |
Thanks for reading, considering, and voting on my article, HowTo:Be Reverend Zim ulator. In truth, the smite vote on your part is valid, although being taken off my shit list should not have factored into your reasoning. Now I have to go and make a shit list page for myself just to put you on it. That takes a chunk out of my day, you know? I hope you appreciate it. Cheers! 
Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:45, June 21, 2010 (UTC)
- Ha, I like to joke in the comment section. I smited for the same reasons as pretty much everyone else. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 18:25,25June,2010
The UnSignpost Is Not Dead![edit | edit source]
Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!
Jun 24th, 2010 • Issue 86 • Oh yeah, the UnSignpost, I remember that...
|
Conservation Week Approaches
 Fancy watering Uncyclopedia's forestry? Want to be a good conservationist? Fancy taking up the rewriting sword of justice, and righteously smiting the dragon of shit writing? Actually, the hell with that, do you want to take a bunch of bad articles, and make them suck less? Then you, my friend, are in luck! Conservation Week 2010 starts on July 5th, and actively encourages users to scour the wiki (perhaps through judicious use of Special:Random, or possibly through exploration of Category:Rewrite or Category:Ideas or even Special:Lonelypages), find lame articles that they consider are taking up the very space which could be occupied by something less sucky, and then using their skill and judgement to turn those articles into shining examples of comedic writing. As this is a competition dedicated to simultaneously reducing the number of useless articles on the wiki and increasing the number of good ones, some naysayers believe it to be completely pointless - Uncyclopedia is the worst, they say, and no amount of well-intentioned competitions can change that. But were it to exist, the Cabal would probably beg to differ. They may call it something like "a genuinely good thing", and "a ray of hope, signalling that occasionally, even the most worthless dreck may be redeemed". So if you think what your userpage is missing is a template called the "Greasy Mechanic Award", then prepare to rewrite like you've never re-written before. Just don't forget to make your new version better than the original. Something summarizing the events of the last month or so It has been said by one of our esteemed administrators here at UnSignpost that if it wasn't reported in the UnSignpost, then it didn't happen. As there has been no UnSignpost produced for the last few days, due to one of the editors having a real life, and another one being lazy, there are several things that didn't happen. Yes, the loss of the UnSignpost for so long sent a shiver down the spines of many an Uncyclopedian. So much so that one member of the community decided that it was timely to look at a new way to produce the UnSignpost. One such idea was to release a monthly periodical in the place of USP. Although there has been several attempts by this reporter to obtain a quote from said insurrectional community member, to date no response has been heard. As part of the ongoing struggle to maintain our independent stance from Wikia, several members decided that it would be a wise idea to create a way to cash in on the popularity of the site. As such the UnShoppe has been created, where you may purchase any one of a number of Uncyclopedia-related pieces of merchandise. So far all purchases have been made by the individuals who created the store. However, if you are looking for the place to buy a shirt that shows that your nipples have been featured, that a wizard did something, whatever it was, and that you have an in-depth knowledge of who Dan Kwon is. There was a competition. Congratulations go to mrthejazz, who got the pun. Imperial Colonisation has taken a brief hiatus after the new head of IC became the old head of IC. He was an Australian, and his example has inspired the entire nation so much that the new head of Parliament for the country is now the old head of parliament. Congratulations go out to the new new head of IC. A strange bandwagon has been created by a drunken Bonner, who has challenged all and sundry to ask him anything at all. As such there are various forums dedicated to asking regular Uncyclopedian members things. These previously were known as user talk pages, but who can stand in the way of progress? And that's all that didn't happen. Although now it's listed in UnSignpost that means it actually did happen. Which suggests that by editing UnSignpost I have the power to change the past. If I could change anything about the past, what would it be? I had sex with a real person![1]
|
| ||||||
UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox
| |||||||
A new UnSignpost issue, another template spammed onto your talkpage, enjoy! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:26, 24 June 2010
This is bugging me[edit | edit source]
How the hell do you get your sig to change like that. It's like once I see the sig, and next thing i know, you have a different sig. WTF?--DirectorWILLYOU 333 06:01, June 26, 2010 (UTC)
- {{User:CheddarBBQ/sigs}}. Use the <choose> thing. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 13:50,26June,2010
Fantasy Football 2010[edit | edit source]
It's back! Go here. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:36, June 29, 2010 (UTC)
- Bout time. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 15:21,29June,2010
Well-Oiled Thanks[edit | edit source]
I'd like to thank you, on behalf of myself and Aleister, for voting for our article. Thanks. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:35, June 30, 2010 (UTC)
- HA. YOU DIDN"T USE THE FUCKING TEMPLATE. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 02:57,30June,2010
All the news that's unfit to print![edit | edit source]
The Newspaper Made Entirely From Recycled Internet Memes
Jul 1st, 2010 • Issue 87 • More news than something with less news than us
|
Things getting boring on the wiki? Time to write at speed!
 We're still waiting for that, but until it arrives, Skull's hour-long writing contest will do nicely. Shamelessly pinching Cajek's idea of time-limited writing competitions (which brought us such classics as HowTo:Sexually Stimulate an Ant, lest we forget), but putting his own distinct spin on it, Uncyc's own mad Doctor challenged Uncyclopedians to write an article in a single hour that would survive VFD. Given Uncyclopedia's well-known exacting quality standards, this promised to be a tough task, but a surprising number of people were up for it. And so it was that a frenzy erupted across the wiki, and baffled Europeans and other users not around at the time awoke the next day to a slew of brand new articles, not all of which ended up being deleted. They liked the idea so much, they held their own a couple of days later. When asked to comment on his brainchild, the commotion and excitement it had caused, and the size of his penis, Dr. Skullthumper exclusively told us "Sure. I'll get on that. I swear". Things getting boring on the wiki? Time to start pointless drama! Giant evil multinational wiki-hosting conglomerate Wikia won a major victory last month, when a rebellion by a small but dedicated band of anti-capitalist radicals was brutally put down by a bunch of fascistic Wikia-collaborators. Or at least, that's what happened in the heads of Carlb, Roye7777777 and CartoonistHenning after they nailed their anti-Wikia manifesto to the metaphorical door of Uncyclopedia's metaphorical Wittenberg Cathedral. The 1,000-word anti-Wikia tract, despite the shocking and previously unknown revelation that Wikia was not in fact the wiki-hosting charity that it claimed to be, but rather a commercial company, failed to ignite a spontaneous revolt against Wikia among the Uncyclopedia community. A heated and sexually-charge discussion ensued, with strong arguments offered by both sides. However, it seems that some people were unable to grasp the enormity of the revelation that Wikia's motives were less than altruistic. Eventually, the thread descended into an all-out flamewar and a waaaaaaaaaaaaaahmbulance was called to treat the injured. "We may have lost this round," Carlb told UnSignpost reporters "but it is only a temporary setback. One day, the tyranny of Wikia will be no more. Our revenge will be the laughter of our children." It is rumoured that Carlb, Roye7777777 and CartoonistHenning will employ Black Bloc tactics at the next Wikia conference in an attempt to escalate the struggle against Wikia oppression. |
| ||||
| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | |||||
--ChiefjusticeXBox360 12:20, July 1, 2010 (UTC)
You thought I forgot?[edit | edit source]
|
Thanks for voting Socky Uncyclopedian of the Year | 
|
| Mere words cannot express my gratitude, so I'm giving you this beautiful spinning sock star as well. |
Thanks! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:47, 1 July 2010
I couldn't help but notice...[edit | edit source]
...that you're a fan of Zero Punctuation on facebook. Have you ever seen this piece of mine? You just might like it. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 18:38, July 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Stalker. But no, I don't think I've seen that. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 18:46,1July,2010
- Pretty good. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 18:59,1July,2010
- I put it up for highlight last summer when I wrote it. Unfortunately, not many people were aware of the awesomeness that is Zero Punctuation, and it failed. Do you have any suggestions on how to improve it, being familiar with it the subject and whatnot? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 20:46, July 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Well, I love the metal introduction thing. No specific improvements. Seems like you captured him pretty well. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 20:57,1July,2010
- Well, I love the metal introduction thing. No specific improvements. Seems like you captured him pretty well. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- I put it up for highlight last summer when I wrote it. Unfortunately, not many people were aware of the awesomeness that is Zero Punctuation, and it failed. Do you have any suggestions on how to improve it, being familiar with it the subject and whatnot? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 20:46, July 1, 2010 (UTC)
Unsurvivor[edit | edit source]
We've been lumped in the same team, so here's the article we're working on. If you can help out, great. If you can't make it for whatever reason, fuck off. 24 hours, GO GO GO GO.
And no, nobody died and made me king. --nachlader 00:23, July 5, 2010 (UTC)
Cracker Barrel[edit | edit source]
So I actually took the time to implement your suggestions today for Cracker Barrel. Thought I'd let you know. I'm going to self-nominate it for VFH soon, maybe right now. We'll see. -- GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 18:08 EST 5 July, 2010
- Cool. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 00:32,6July,2010
Signpost: normal service resumed[edit | edit source]
The Newspaper That Won't Judge You!
Jul 8th, 2010 • Issue 88 • Hand-stitched for comfort
|
Conservation week: how's it going, and what is it anyway?
Conservation week has been running since autumn 2007, starting life in Jocke Pirat's userspace, and spending a confused few hours being called the rewrite-a-thon in an early attempt to get around the whole week-fortnight thing. The first iteration was a resounding success, and about 38 people signed up to rewrite over 50 articles (with Zombiebaron hilariously missing the point and going on a deletion spree instead), making the current iteration look like it has some work to do. However, there was no quality control at the outset - if an article was rewritten in any way, that was deemed good enough. Some of those early articles may well have been made worse, we just don't know (or can't be bothered to check). Quality control arrived later on, when erstwhile gentleman editor of this very organ Gerrycheevers stepped up to run the first 2009 CW, and ran the rule over all the rewrites personally, so that the attendant award was only bestowed on those doing quality rewrites. That task this year falls to Dexter111344, who has promised to be "harsh but harsh". Probably. So, with a prize on offer to the person with the most high quality rewrites, and plenty of time left in which to do said rewrites, the only question left is: "why haven't you entered yet"? We asked this question of one completely random user, and he exclusively told us "because I'm busy writing this week's issue of the UnSignpost, duh!" Image Request: A Retrospective
 Established in March 2005 by a user called Machinecurse, this page has been the domain of most of the legends of Uncyc image manipulation at one time or another - as one 'chopper has left, another has arisen to take their place, in some kind of Potatochop Royal Succession stylee. Or something. Whatever, the likes of Paulgb, Zombiebaron, Seeker, Sonje and, more recently, KneeChee27 and MeepStarLives have slaved over hot image editing software to fulfil the esoteric image requirements of the Uncyclopedia populace. The response time has always varied on the page, as it largely depends on how active the 'choppers are at the time, how achievable the requests actually are, and how polite the request is. But for those with a little patience, it is undoubtedly a useful resource in the ongoing quest for that perfect image of Mario and Master Chief riding Pikachu down the Death Star Trench run. Or something. Have a look at the gallery to see some of the more recent work. |
| |||||
| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | ||||||
Oh dear god, am I really doing this again? --UU - natter 
10:59, Jul 9
Yet Another Worthless Award[edit | edit source]
As YOU voted for BIBLE! to be featured on the front page,
this FRAMED, VERY RARE and HIGH COLLECTIBLE
JESUS AND LINDSAY LOHAN
issue of the magazine is YOURS TO KEEP!
Generations to come will thank you for this wonderful keepsake.
Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:27, July 9, 2010 (UTC)
You, personally, averted the Apocalypse[edit | edit source]
Much thanks--Funnybony 
15:48, Jul 15
Another UnSignpost! Rejoice![edit | edit source]
The Newspaper That Won't Tell Everyone That You Wet the Bed! Oops...
Jul 15th, 2010 • Issue 89 • Made with 100% recycled vuvuzelas
|
The 40+ club expands
 We asked them all for quotes, and Mhaille exclusively told us: ""Go eat more shit, fuckers"...obviously I am excited to have reached the BIG 4-0, and am delighted that enough of my peers deem the quality of my work good enough to have reached that figure, although I have to say I'm a little pissed that at least 10 other of my articles are feature-worthy and are constant overlooked (lengthy bans will ensue, I'm sure), I am equally as proud of my featured images, as well as many of my other contributions that I hope that my peers feel have augmented the work of others. That I am still here after five long years, and still contributing says something about Uncyclopedia itself. What that is, I wouldn't like to speculate. But sometimes you have to in order to accumulate. Apparently." Which is such a long quote we're going to need at least one blatant filler box in the right-hand panel. Bastard. Meanwhile, Modus exclusively told us "It's not that myself and Mhaille have written so very many great and fantastic pages that have, and will continue to, entertain the people for years to come. It's just that Mhaille did. "I" am one of his many sockpuppets. He writes as "Modusoperandi" when he needs a page without a "foreign" accent. Look around. There are a bunch more Mhaille sockpuppets here, too. Hyperbole, for one. Mhaille is like a wet Mogwai." Which is more concise, and therefore OK. Finally, Hype exclusively commented: "I'd like to say thank you to Uncyclopedia for voting to feature my many excellent, high-quality articles, including the drunken insistence that you accept a diseased poodle, the song about having sex with sporting goods, and the blatantly racist tirade about having to wait too long for a Pee Review. Writing 39.5 features has been literally the most important accomplishment I will ever have in my life. I look forward to continuing to service each and every one of you in the future." Which was nice of him. So, the burning question now has to be: who will be first to 50? Modus obviously has the lead, but Mhaille is writing in greater volume than he has for some time, and if Hype keeps up the pace, he's probably a good bet. But they're not the only candidates - Sog is coming up the rails rapidly, and could reach the 40 mark even quicker than Hype - could he overtake the lot of them? The only thing certain is that with these guys around, Uncyc should be assured of some half-decent articles amongst the dross. World Cup over - Romartus struggling for UnNews inspiration
 The scourge of Junior Uncyclopedia has discovered his muse in the planet's biggest sporting event, and has been cranking out UnNews articles on the subject at an alarming rate. Now, without Jabulani balls, biting tackles and Messi long shots to inspire him, what is there to inspire him to maintain such prolific standards? Suspicions abound that the Tour De France is passing him by, he seems far too English to care about the various draft and transfer shenanigans in the NFL and NBA and the like, and as the only story to emerge from golf's Open Championship so far is Tiger Woods changing his putter (wow, someone hold me back), that seems unlikely to unleash his inner news-hound. With a worrying lack of global sporting tournaments on the horizon, will we have to wait another 4 years for the next Romartus article splurge? Stay tuned to UnNews to find out! |
| |||||
| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | ||||||
—Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:22, 16 July 2010
The template that I'll never change[edit | edit source]
Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.
I, like, appreciate your support, or something.
—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:45, July 20, 2010 (UTC)
The League[edit | edit source]
It comes back September 16th. I'm excited. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 19:05, July 21, 2010 (UTC)
- Really fucking excited. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 19:48,21July,2010
- Well I'm super mega hyper excited. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:03, July 23, 2010 (UTC)
- Well I came. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 16:17,23July,2010
- Well I came. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- Well I'm super mega hyper excited. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:03, July 23, 2010 (UTC)
Read all about it! The UnSignpost rides again![edit | edit source]
Woop Woop! it's the sound of the Police UnSignpost!
Jul 22nd, 2010 • Issue 90 • Suddenly, Signpost!
|
UnNews hits warp factor Whore
 That bastard child of Uncyclopedia and WikiNews, UnNews, is in full-on whoring mode. Tired of being relegated to the bilge hold of Uncyc, staff have collectively and to a man, woman or it, decided to resort to the time-honored tradition of whoring themselves for attention. 2010 is shaping up to be a record year for lots of stuff, which I am too lazy to actually reference. We've had lots of cool coding happenings, resulting in a facelift to the Main Page, and a really cool navigation bar giving access to a plethora (well, 7 sections in fact) of sections including Sports, Comics, Editorials, and special coverage of the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Contributors to UnNews of note are Funnybony, SPIKE, Romartus, Modusoperandi, Mordillo, Multiliteralist, PuppyOnTheRadio, Happytimes, Matt lobster and MrN9000 (when the bugger's here). Apologies to anybody I've missed. The Newsroom, home to nefarious plots and odd ideas, has once again become an active core of resistance against Uncyc's unofficial policy of ignoring us. Always leading edge, UnNews is acquiring a stable of notable personalities for a new series of Uncolumns called "Reductio ad Hitlerum", a guest column that invites persons of note to do an article for us, usually under threat of blackmail. Discussion here, first RaH column here by guest Sarah Palin. Techno gets Mhaille'd
 The award is, unusually on vote-happy Uncyclopedia, not decided on by voting, but is bestowed at the sole discretion of feature-monster, bureaucrat, whoring legend and token Liverpool fan Mhaille, according to his own criteria. Looking down the list of previous winners - Shandon, ENeGMA, Tompkins, Zombiebaron, Prettiestpretty, Savethemooses and the rest, it's pretty clear that the good Rabbi is a) in good company, and b) not going to be here much longer. |
| ||||
| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | |||||
--ChiefjusticeXBox360 14:04, July 22, 2010 (UTC)
Sorry[edit | edit source]
I really had to take a piss, and your article was the only thing around that i could write my name in piss with...so i did, sorry --Happymonkey39 
Dah Meme Master 03:22, July 27, 2010 (UTC)
- You said "you can tell you put some time into it." At the top of the page, I said the article was written in one hour. Thanks anyway though. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 17:44,27July,2010
- You caught me :P...i say things like that to make the writer feel better and to be freindly. If you want, ill try to do a more in deapth review and i will critisize more if you want me to critisize more :P. Thing is im new to reviewing so I'm just trying to get the hang of it. --Happymonkey39
Dah Meme Master 18:56, July 27, 2010 (UTC)
- No, I want to try to get someone else, so that I can get multiple perspectives. It's usually the most effective way. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 19:58,27July,2010
- No, I want to try to get someone else, so that I can get multiple perspectives. It's usually the most effective way. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- You caught me :P...i say things like that to make the writer feel better and to be freindly. If you want, ill try to do a more in deapth review and i will critisize more if you want me to critisize more :P. Thing is im new to reviewing so I'm just trying to get the hang of it. --Happymonkey39
Upsilon Sigma Sigma July Newsletter[edit | edit source]
Well guys, its been exactly 5 billion years since I last did a newsletter and I thought doing one would be a good way to get everyone back into the fold for August. Big things on the horizon for August for Upsilon Sigma Sigma.
First thing's first: Welcome to our newest brothers, Maniac1075 and Happymonkey39! Hopefully you guys will stick around and become regular contributors to our little project here!
Secondly, unfortunately there wasn't really a July collaboration. That's partly my fault from being absent most of the month because of work. The June collaboration, Taco, that got roughly finished and reviewed around mid-July will be our collaboration for both months. Go ahead and head on over to the collaboration page to vote on whether we send the article to mainspace or not and be sure to nominate an article for the que, also found on the collaboration page.
Third, some asshole (cough MadMax) redirected weird to odd, but bad news for him; we're doing weird as our collaboration for August anyways. This one is going to be epic guys, like Tim Burton epic. I'd like an 'all hands on deck' turnout for this one. We'll begin sometime around August 1 or second. I was thinking the approach for the article should be from the perspective of a high school misfit who's unaware how weird he is describing other kids as being weird. or something... Once the collaboration page is up and running we'll hash it out on the discussion page.
Lastly, and I know I constantly pound this, we all need to start doing requested articles individually. This is supposed to be a big part of USS, but our frat has morphed into mainly a collaboration group. Lets try and focus on those individual requested articles over the next few months.
Looking forward to ramping this thing back into gear with you guys in August!
Founder -- GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 21:37 EST 28 July, 2010
Thank you and stuffs[edit | edit source]
User:Mrthejazz/templatedrunkennarrator
Somewhere in the Enrichment Centre...[edit | edit source]
Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU! How does tha—
Er, GLaDOS?
What is it?
You do realise that you're regurgitating quotes from the original game.
Is there something wrong with that?
As a matter of fact, yes, GLaDOS, there is. Quite a few of us are waiting for the new, creative, inventive quotes that are to come in Portal 2, and actually are sick and tired of people who regurgitate quotes and memes from a two-and-a-half-year-old game.
You're right. I can't become just a soundboard of tired old quotes.
Exactly.
Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
*sigh*
Thanks for voting for Portal! 
Sir MacMania GUN—[13:46 1 Aug 2010]
- I LOVE THAT. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 15:05,1August,2010
Draft[edit | edit source]
Your turn, I autopicked for Joe. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:32, August 4, 2010 (UTC)
It's new and it's news! It's the latest UnSignpost![edit | edit source]
Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!
Aug 5th, 2010 • Issue 91 • I love it when the news comes together
|
VFD minimum time limit introduced
 Further to that, the minimum score required for deletion is in the process of being clarified, so that either a score of at least +5 in favour of deletion will be required before the trigger-happy admins fire up their huffing devices, or 5 keep votes will automatically exempt an article from deletion. One of those. Probably. The number 5 seems certain to be involved, whatever the outcome. Hopefully, this will ensure that BUTT POOP is never deleted again. At least, such is our understanding. Sorry about that. We will now follow this with an article with no relation to news whatsoever, to try and make it up to you. Uncyc Fantasy Football draft off to racing start
 So far, the results have surpassed the expectations of all except noted optimist Bradaphraser. Three days in, and seven of the record fourteen competitors have picked a single player each, making this the slowest process since BP started trying to cap that goddamn oil leak. This year's competition promises to be more open than the last, including as it does Joe9320, who admits to knowing nothing about the sport, preferring AFL, and noted British namby-pamby "soccer" fan UU, who has somehow agreed to become an Indianapolis Colts fan for the duration of the season. Hence his adding a picture of what he is assured is the awesome Peyton Manning into this very article. With the likes of the here-one-week-gone-for-a-month Gerrycheevers also involved in the process, it could well end up taking long enough to be ready by the start of the 2011-12 season. |
| ||||
| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | |||||
—Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:05, 5 August 2010
Happy Birthday[edit | edit source]
What, no "18 years of Cheddar" forum topic this year? Happy birthday man. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 05:11, August 7, 2010 (UTC)
- Yeah, I forgot all about it. Didn't even make myself a new sig to celebrate. Appreciated though. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 05:24,7August,2010
Your turn in the fantasy[edit | edit source]
Just sayin.--<<
>> 01:42, August 8, 2010 (UTC)
Desean Jackson[edit | edit source]
It's your pick. Also, Desean Jackson is still on the board. Also also, because of autopicks and how the players are rated, I don't think he'll be around when you pick next. So basically if you plan on taking Desean Jackson you should do it now. Finally, when you make your pick, message me back on my talk page, as I'm autopicking for Joe. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:45, August 8, 2010 (UTC)
Your Turn Again[edit | edit source]
Now that a full third of the members are being autopicked for, this thing is moving along quite nicely. (It might be a bit early for Kevin Kolb or LeSean McCoy. Just saying.) —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:19, August 9, 2010 (UTC)
- Well, with the loss of McNabb and Westbrook, I doubt my team will be Philly-dominated again. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 20:23,9August,2010
A Flagon[edit | edit source]
Hi, Ched B.B.Q! I sent you this because you liked it so much.--Ohnogodnotagain 23:38, August 10, 2010 (UTC)
- We are now friends. :D It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 00:16,11August,2010
Oy![edit | edit source]
Both Steve Smiths are taken. Try again.--<<>> 01:03, August 11, 2010 (UTC)
- I came by to tell you that same thing. Yeah. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:37, August 11, 2010 (UTC)
- oops. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 02:52,11August,2010
- Yeah, someone picked your player under a different name. Sorry (I swear, we're not intentionally confusing you...)--<<
>> 03:12, August 11, 2010 (UTC)
- Whoa, deja vu. I think this exact thing happened last year... It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 03:30,11August,2010
- Whoa, deja vu. I think this exact thing happened last year... It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- Yeah, someone picked your player under a different name. Sorry (I swear, we're not intentionally confusing you...)--<<
- oops. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
You're Up[edit | edit source]
Yeah. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:16, August 13, 2010 (UTC)
- Up again. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:36, August 19, 2010 (UTC)
I made the league[edit | edit source]
It's on Yahoo!. Here are some important things to know:
- League ID: 512953
- Custom League URL: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/league/uncyclopedia_2010
- Password: guildy
—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:36, August 19, 2010 (UTC)
Ruddy hell! It's the UnSignpost[edit | edit source]
The Newspaper Not Secretly Controlled By Mordillo, We Swear!
Aug 19thish, 2010 • Issue 92 • Does anyone actually read this bit?
|
UnReviews - get involved!
 So how can YOU help? Well, we would have thought that was obvious, to be honest, but as we're dealing with Uncyclopedians here, we'll make it a little clearer: write an UnReview! You could go down the road of Modus's magnum opus UnMovie Review: The Dark Knight, and make a movie review, you could get all cultured on our asses, and go Shakespearian, or you could review something else entirely. The choice is, quite literally, yours! Something helpful this way comes
 TKF has already started the ball rolling with a challenging audio request which is likely to be an early acid test for the project. If you have a Casio keyboard and some decent audio skills, get across there and get this thing working! So, how can you get involved? Well, if you are skilled at adding awesome to pages in some way, watchlist the page, check it regularly, and stop hogging your wiki-fu to yourself! If you are in need of added awesomeness on your page, pop in a request and see what happens. If nothing else, it'll make Meep feel good about himself, and that's what it's all about, when you get right down to it. Right? |
| |||
| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | ||||
--ChiefjusticeXBox360 12:06, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks there[edit | edit source]
For voting on my Propaganda article, no fancy templates, but I thought I'd say thanks anyways:-)
--Sycamore (Talk) 15:56, August 21, 2010 (UTC)
And thanks for your wasted but welcome vote on Uncy of de months. Very appreciated. And I still laugh everytime I watch the ghost whale shoot the gun. Aleister 18:18 23 8
- Yeah, no problem. And it is rather addicting to watch. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 19:16,23August,2010
- Tis the season for you to pick now, fa la la la la, la la la la.--<<>> 23:32, August 23, 2010 (UTC)
- Spread the joy, and pick again! —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:58, August 24, 2010 (UTC)
- Tis the season for you to pick now, fa la la la la, la la la la.--<<
The following preview is the only thing standing between you and the feature presentation, bwahahahahaha[edit | edit source]
Thanks for the vote! Sir MacMania GUN—[19:51 26 Aug 2010]
What you said Here[edit | edit source]
Think about it. Do you honestly think that's a good idea? Oh yeah, I'm back from my vacation in your mom's room, thats technically why I've been missing.--If you're 555 then I'm 
00:06, August 30, 2010 (UTC)
- I said a lot of things there. Gotta be more specific. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 00:36,30August,2010
- The "There is one person that has yet to make their team on Yahoo! " section--If you're 555 then I'm
00:48, August 30, 2010 (UTC)
- Oh, about sneaking into your home at night and sadistically disembowling you? It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 00:54,30August,2010
- I'm pretty sure it was a play on your name, Iwillkillyou333.--<<>> 00:58, August 30, 2010 (UTC)
- Maybe, but even so, that mission would end in epic failure--If you're 555 then I'm 01:00, August 30, 2010 (UTC)
- It actually wasn't a play on his name, because I didn't know who it was when I wrote it. And I'm a pretty expert disembowler. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 01:03,30August,2010
- It actually wasn't a play on his name, because I didn't know who it was when I wrote it. And I'm a pretty expert disembowler. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- Maybe, but even so, that mission would end in epic failure--If you're 555 then I'm
- I'm pretty sure it was a play on your name, Iwillkillyou333.--<<
- Oh, about sneaking into your home at night and sadistically disembowling you? It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- The "There is one person that has yet to make their team on Yahoo! " section--If you're 555 then I'm
That's what the last guy said before he had a nice helping of AK-47 bullets and a chainsaw for desert--If you're 555 then I'm 01:07, August 30, 2010 (UTC)
- Yummy! It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 01:09,30August,2010
- Yeah, and red wine too! HE even gave some to me. We had a good time! Oh, and we both killed a guy in the most gruesomness way possible.--If you're 555 then I'm 01:12, August 30, 2010 (UTC)
- Oh, red wine, yes! White wine sucks. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 01:28,30August,2010
- No shit. Yay red wine--If you're 555 then I'm 01:33, August 30, 2010 (UTC)
- No shit. Yay red wine--If you're 555 then I'm
- Oh, red wine, yes! White wine sucks. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- Yeah, and red wine too! HE even gave some to me. We had a good time! Oh, and we both killed a guy in the most gruesomness way possible.--If you're 555 then I'm
UFFL 2010 Kickoff[edit | edit source]
The draft is over, the NFL regular season begins Thursday September 9th, and everyone is geared up and ready to play some fantasy football(!).
This season promises to thrill and intrigue, and as the Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League has grown from just eight all the way to 14 teams, each one vying for a shot at the championship, except maybe Neox's team. With all this excitement, however, comes questions. Will Rush and Kick FTW, the UFFL's first team based in Britain, be able to compete with the league's American teams? Will Cheddar's rebuilt Doritorians be able to play at the same high level as last year now that their roster is down from 50% Eagles players to just 30%? Will evil Nazi overlord and reigning league Champion Guildensternenstein be able to defend his league championship now that Top-3 players at the quarterback, running back, wide receiver and tight end positions didn't fall into his lap this year? Only brutal, primal, visceral, cerebral combat on the fields of Yahoo!'s fantasy football league servers can determine these questions.
That all being said, everyone should take note of two things:
- this is a link to the league--go here to do stuff, like select a starting roster (which, believe it or not, is important).
- this is the forum where we'll talk about the league and post banal sports banter (which, believe it or not, is even more important).
Good luck, gentleman. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:05, September 4, 2010 (UTC)
- Very inspirational. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 20:14,6September,2010
UnSignpost - This is definitely not late; you're just drunk[edit | edit source]
The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!
Sept 9th, 2010 • Issue 93 • Our definition of "weekly" may not match yours
|
The pee is weak - must be time for Pee Week!
 Yes, it would appear to be nearly time for the inaugural Uncyclopedia Pee Week! It starts on Monday 13th September. So, the questions must be asked:
If the answer to at least one of those questions is "yes", you could be on your way to winning this soon-to-be prestigious competition! Just sign up here, and prepare to review as you've never reviewed before! The best of the 5.5 years super-extravaganza begins!
 That's right, on the fifth of every month, a new vote will start to determine the best somethingorother of the 5.5 years that Uncyc has been in existence. This month's vote is already open, and it's for the writer of the 5.5 years. So get over there, vote, and make your voice heard! Again. Asked for his feelings on seeing his brainchild getting off the ground like this, TKF exclusively told us: "My grand-uncle used to tell me "He who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth, may not come forth on the fifth!" and I feel that's somehow relevant to this situation." Anyone pointing out that by the time this finishes, Uncyclopedia will be around 6 years old will be asked not to point it out again. UnNews main page
Someone suggested to completely revamp the UnNews main page and in an epic move of Uncyclopedia originality, decided to hold a vote on it. Some people farted. |
| ||||
| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | |||||
MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 12:56, September 9, 2010 (UTC)
That picture...[edit | edit source]
At the bottom of the USS homepage... is absolutely fantastic!-- CUN RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 1404 EST 10 Sept, 2010
- Why thank you very much. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 19:27,10September,2010
Hey, Mr. BBQ[edit | edit source]
Is there any chance I can take Ahmad Bradshaw off your hands? I would like to trade for him. Woody On Fire! 
Talking Woody Stalking Woody 03:35, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
- Yeah, uh... no... would you like Marion Barber? It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 10:58,24September,2010
- Bahaha.... Woody On Fire!
Talking Woody Stalking Woody 17:12, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
- Bahaha.... Woody On Fire!
Another crappy dust-gatherer to shove into the cupboard and forget about[edit | edit source]
Lose Weight™ the Bulimic Barbee™ way!
In recognition of your fine decision to vote for Bulimic Barbee™ to become a Featured Article™ on Uncyclopedia™, the Crappel Corporation™ (USA™) are pleased to award you a FREE six month membership of their Lose Weight™ the Bulimic Barbee™ Way weight loss program.
To demonstrate the benefits of our Diet™, please enjoy these delicious Lo-Cal™ Bulimic Barbee™ Potato Crisps™!
Trade[edit | edit source]
I sent you a proposal. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 22:08, September 29, 2010 (UTC)
- I noticed. Problem is, Lance Moore is worse than the crappy WRs I already have (not counting Jackson). It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 22:09,29September,2010
- What if I gave you either Kevin Walter or Malcom Floyd for Bradshaw? (As it so happen, all three players have scored roughly 38 points apiece thusfar, making this fair-as-can-be on paper.) —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:35, September 29, 2010 (UTC)
- Hmm... still don't really think so. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 23:49,29September,2010
- Really? Seeing as you'd be getting a guy that's a #2 receiver for a #3 running back, I'd say that's pretty good compensation. (Also, you have to think about how screwed you're going to be in terms of WR when the Eagles have their bye.) —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:51, September 30, 2010 (UTC)
- Do the right thing, Cheddar, do the right thing. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 19:47, September 30, 2010 (UTC)
- I'm really gonna have to think on this one. When the Eagles BYE week comes, I lose all 3 of my starting WRs (it's also the Giants BYE week). Even with your WR and a recovered Gonzalez, I'll still be down a WR. I'm pretty much screwed that week no matter what I do. If only I were facing the Well-Dressed Pickles... It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 19:51,30September,2010
- I sent you another proposal--Brandon Lloyd and Kevin Walter for Mario Manningham and Ahmad Bradshaw. Not only do you get a massive upgrade at WR--either one of those guys is more valuable than Manningham, if you ask me--but this solves your bye week issue as well. Plus I get my running back, of course. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 22:55, September 30, 2010 (UTC)
- I'm really gonna have to think on this one. When the Eagles BYE week comes, I lose all 3 of my starting WRs (it's also the Giants BYE week). Even with your WR and a recovered Gonzalez, I'll still be down a WR. I'm pretty much screwed that week no matter what I do. If only I were facing the Well-Dressed Pickles... It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- Do the right thing, Cheddar, do the right thing. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 19:47, September 30, 2010 (UTC)
- Really? Seeing as you'd be getting a guy that's a #2 receiver for a #3 running back, I'd say that's pretty good compensation. (Also, you have to think about how screwed you're going to be in terms of WR when the Eagles have their bye.) —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:51, September 30, 2010 (UTC)
- Hmm... still don't really think so. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- What if I gave you either Kevin Walter or Malcom Floyd for Bradshaw? (As it so happen, all three players have scored roughly 38 points apiece thusfar, making this fair-as-can-be on paper.) —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:35, September 29, 2010 (UTC)
- Yes, the trade will help me out a ton in Torture Week, but Manningham's more valuable than Walter in my opinion, and it'll most likely hurt me in the long run. You sure you don't want Marion Barber? It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 23:58,30September,2010
- How is the #3 receiver in an okay offense better than the #2 receiver in a great offense? Also--and this pretty much goes without saying--but those Yahoo! "projections" have this odd tendency of being totally fucking wrong about 97% of the time. And even if I did make out by as much as that screenshot claims, here's the thing: he'd be my third RB, so he'd be on my bench all but about three weeks the whole season, same as if you had him. Kevin Walter/Brandon Lloyd, on the other hand, you could plug right in your third receiver slot and benefit week after week. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:10, October 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Also, if you're really not that high on Walter, I'd be willing to give you Malcom Floyd instead, I suppose, if that would be enough to sway you. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:12, October 1, 2010 (UTC)
- ^ Just sent a trade proposing that. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:14, October 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Eh, fuck it, I picked up John Kuhn. Brandon Lloyd is floating around on waivers, now, if you want to pick him up. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:46, October 1, 2010 (UTC)
- ^ Just sent a trade proposing that. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:14, October 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Also, if you're really not that high on Walter, I'd be willing to give you Malcom Floyd instead, I suppose, if that would be enough to sway you. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:12, October 1, 2010 (UTC)
- How is the #3 receiver in an okay offense better than the #2 receiver in a great offense? Also--and this pretty much goes without saying--but those Yahoo! "projections" have this odd tendency of being totally fucking wrong about 97% of the time. And even if I did make out by as much as that screenshot claims, here's the thing: he'd be my third RB, so he'd be on my bench all but about three weeks the whole season, same as if you had him. Kevin Walter/Brandon Lloyd, on the other hand, you could plug right in your third receiver slot and benefit week after week. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:10, October 1, 2010 (UTC)
You foolish, foolish fool[edit | edit source]
So I'd have won this week if I had Ahmad Bradshaw in my lineup instead of that bum John Kuhn. And you would have won if you had Walter and Lloyd starting and had benched Maclin and Manningham. Therefore, I blame you entirely for both of our losses this week. Nice job.
That being said, I proposed another trade along the same lines as the first. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:23, October 4, 2010 (UTC)
- Actually, never mind. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 22:49, October 4, 2010 (UTC)
- Had I played San Diego's defense instead of Philly's, I'd have won. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 01:35,5October,2010
- Yeah, I know. Can't fault me for trying, though. Also, sorry about your local paper pulling your article on Uncyclopedia--that shit's pretty lame. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:54, October 5, 2010 (UTC)
- That shit is pretty lame. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 11:05,5October,2010
- That shit is pretty lame. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
- Yeah, I know. Can't fault me for trying, though. Also, sorry about your local paper pulling your article on Uncyclopedia--that shit's pretty lame. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:54, October 5, 2010 (UTC)
- Had I played San Diego's defense instead of Philly's, I'd have won. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!
Upsilon Sigma Sigma October Newsletter[edit | edit source]
Ok guys, my bad. I was gone for a long time there. I found some free time recently so I'm hoping to get Upsilon Sigma Sigma started up again along with my other project, UnReviews.
At any rate, We're going to keep Weird, the August collaboration open. We're also going to go ahead and open up a November collaboration. The article on the queue that has the most votes is "Blockbuster" so that's the one we're going to do. You can find the collaboration page here. I'm probably going to disappear again because of school in a few weeks, so hopefully we can build up enough momentum here to keep our collaborations going. If you haven't noticed our previous collaborations have been huge hits, all have been featured on the front page. Hopefully "Weird" and "Blockbuster" will too in their own due time.
Looking forward to seeing you guys around the frat!
P.S. we have a FBotM nomination this month, make sure you go vote!
Founder -- CUN RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 2104 EST 22 Oct, 2010
Hello!!![edit | edit source]
Thanks for all the vote all over the place. All over the place! Appreciated! Just for old time sake, YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCK IN HELL MOTHERFUCKER! Ah, yes, what a woman. In your fantasy league, who has Brett Favre? Are they playing him? He starts his 291st game in a row in a few minutes, in Green Bay. I still laugh everytime I see your top-of-the-talk-page gif. Goats! Aleister 00:22 25 10
- You're welcome. She is quite a wom- what? I don't know or care. The gif is the shit. Hamsters! It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 00:26,25October,2010
And thank you for the vote on mine, whichever one it was. I should probably look, but I'm too lazy. Still, thank you. It does mean something. *backs out slowly* ~ 
Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20101027 - 16:49 (UTC)
Sir?[edit | edit source]
Hello, recently I was brutally forced to join this place of my own will. I figured I'll need a place to stay for awhile, so...how would you like a leech adoptee? OneDeuxThreeVier 19:29, November 4, 2010 (UTC)
- I don't see why not. Keep in mind, I haven't written a ton recently, but I can show you the basics of the site. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 19:39,4November,2010
Trade[edit | edit source]
Hey Cheddar, what would you be willing to give up for a top-flight fantasy TE like Vernon Davis or Jacob Tamme? I've sent you a trade proposal already--counter if you don't like it. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:42, November 9, 2010 (UTC)
UnSignpost - The UnSignpost Rides Again![edit | edit source]
Because Uncyclopedia is no laughing matter.
Nov 11th, 2010 • Issue 94 • The Newspaper that shaves you closer!
|
The UnSignpost Rides Again!
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, the Rebels attained victory over the Imperial Empire and the last UnSignpost flopped onto talk pages. The drought came as Under user announced that he had a life to be getting on with, and at that point the UnSignpost simply stopped writing itself. Some people have suggested that these two events may be linked somehow, but until we see proof, we have resolved to live in ignorance. However as we hurtle towards the end of the year it would seem the magic has returned and the newspaper that confusingly contains neither news or paper will once again be arriving on talk pages Newer recipients of the UnSignpost are urged to suggest ideas for stories in the press room; this helps as it means we don't need to pay attention to anything you people do every day. For now, please welcome the UnSignpost back into your homes and hearts... please? Speak up!
 Competition founder MadMax was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press, so we have made something up instead: "The competition was a great success and I would like to thank everyone who took part; especially ChiefjusticeDS who is absolutely fantastic and whom I owe many drinks", he might have said. The Article Whisperer is expected to take place again next year, and MadMax might have said "Take part or die", but probably not.  The Aristocrat's Few competitions stir the loins more than The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball, self described as Uncyclopedia's festival of frivolity and bad taste. The competition has three categories:
If you aren't a writer (we are led to believe some people are not), then 3 Judges are needed for each of the above categories (see here). Seriously, this will be so much fun you will wish we did it twice a year... maybe. The competition opens on November 19th, so put on a stout pair of writing trousers and get going! |
| ||||
| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | |||||
Read All About It![edit | edit source]
Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!
Nov 18th, 2010 • Issue 95 • The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way she/he did!
|
Wanna cyb3r?
 Hailed by some as the final solution to the Uncyclopedia problem and others as a wretched hive of scum and villainy, the Uncyclopedia IRC channel has chugged along for almost the same amount of time Uncyclopedia itself has. We here at the UnSignpost have literally hundreds of stories to sort through every week and we have picked IRC for a reason, and not just because it is easy to spell. We chose it because the Uncyclopedia IRC is a community and often contains users who are never on the site (because they are lazy and idle), equally many users who frequent the site do not enter IRC (because they are idle and lazy), and those who do often prefer to do so in disguise. This is a disgrace, don't ask why, it just is. Our intrepid reporters have spent literally minutes on IRC this week in order to bring news of it to you, the uneducated and unwashed masses and to try and encourage you to make use of it. Whatever you want to use it for: reporting vandals, penis jokes, collaboration, penis jokes and incoherent babbling; IRC is there for you. It is also a way to get to know the dull uninteresting personalities behind the exciting usernames, but don't let that put you off. When our intrepid reporter delved into the IRC community and asked the first person breathing in and out for a quote about IRC they told us "..." which should certainly give you food for thought. If you have some time on your hands then why not learn how to windsurf? But if you are too idle and lazy then why not head on over to IRC and see the magic happening for yourself? I would and if I would it must be a good idea. Balls up!
The stage is seated, the judges are set and the competitors are questionable in number, yes The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball is almost upon us. The competition opens this Friday and entries will be accepted until December the 3rd which is... a little while after that. Our hard-hitting journalists will be present at the competition and will be speaking to entrants and judges alike over the next few weeks. Just think; if you take part your name could be in italic font in the UnSignpost! Think about how envious your friends and family will be! Remember, it begins on the 19th of November and we want to see blood! We need you!
 The UnSignpost is like an office printer, in that it constantly breaks down, sometimes doesn't work for months at a time and occasionally spews out some slightly smudged pages. If you think you have something to bring to the UnSignpost be it your journalistic talent, ideas for stories or even just a warm and reassuring slap in the face, feel free to drop us a line in the press room. Also Meganew wanted us to mention the Grue Army in the UnSignpost, so we have. |
| |||||
| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | ||||||
--ChiefjusticeXBox360 14:27, November 18, 2010 (UTC)
Punji Stick[edit | edit source]
Much thanks for your vote. Now you have reduced the odds of stepping on a punji stick by 0.11%. Cheers!--Funnybony 08:23, Nov 20
Run for your lives! It's another UnSignpost.[edit | edit source]
Word to your mother.
Nov 25th, 2010 • Issue 96 • Putting the period in periodical!
|
Jimbo, Whales & The Worst 100
 Those of you who regularly sit and stare at recent changes may well have seen a lot of tomfoolery with the site notice this week (that banner at the top which you dismissed two seconds after logging in). The reason for this is that somebody noticed that we are supposed to be a parody of Wikipedia and suggested we come up with something to parody Jimbo Wales' appeal. Zombiebaron duly obliged, then Lyrithya obliged too, then Olipro edited some code and the site notice you see today, or don't see, as the case may be, was created. Well done, them. Honestly, we have nothing bad to say about it. Except that I hate it as I do most things that come about through a process of honest endeavour. For those of you who didn't know, Jimbo does have an account on Uncyclopedia, an account he never uses, in rather the same way that I have a membership to a gym; I need one to be cool and so I have somewhere to hide when the black helicopters inevitably come for me. Jimbo is of course the co-founder of Wikia, which is rather like having helped build the Death Star except with less space and more super-lasers capable of destroying planets. Unfortunately, we haven't written a parody of the appeal yet. Well, we have, it just isn't very good. The team at the UnSignpost read both and after the laughter had died down we had a look at the Uncyclopedia one.... yeah.... but have our assurance, Uncyclopedia is working on improving it, and how could you doubt the people who brought you classics like Fisher Price and AAAAAAAAA!? The other item of news we have this week is that the reflections on this year are woefully lacking. Hurtling as we are towards the new year and the annual Cabal broadcast, you may want to consider adding an entry to the list in order that the administrators can sleep soundly at night. We refuse to believe that nothing of note has happened over the last couple of months because we've been here and can attest that something has happened every day. So get over there and do the editing, we'll be right behind you. Voting heats up
 The "of the Month" awards are in something of a state of flux at the moment as voters and nominators become increasingly unwilling to vote (or care) in some cases and more willing in others. "It's a sad indictment of the way we live," lamented Socky when our reporter spoke to him, though he did say some other things once we asked him some questions. This month on the Uncyclopedian of the Month award, Lyrithya has stormed ahead of competition, running up 16 votes at the time of going to press; we would say she was miles ahead of her opposition, but since she nominated both of them and voted for one of them we don't think she deserves it. When asked to comment, Lyrithya had this to say: "I hate you all". Meanwhile over on Writer of the Month, Romartus leads SPIKE by 7 votes. Neither of them were available to provide us with a quote, probably because we forgot to ask, but we took some of the things they said on the award page and through creative journalism summed up their thoughts: "This... is... my... award" is what Romartus said, though he may have said those words in a different order... and as part of different sentences. SPIKE just said "Yay," which was lovely. Things are far more exciting over on Noob of the Month where mega-noob rcmurphy and regular noob Putthatknifedown are neck and neck with 5 votes each. Things are of course far less exciting in the land of the other awards: Author of the Month is a gripping contest as gentile Uncyclopedian and former UnSignpost editor Under user trudges towards the finish line arm in arm with gentile Uncyclopedian and former UnSignpost editor Mhaille (he wrote a couple of lines for us once and they were amazing). Potatochopper of the month is also a rather subdued affair with nobody getting any votes, despite two people being nominated. Finally Reviewer of the Month has no nominations and thus, surprisingly, no votes so far this month.  Why is this? We at the UnSignpost asked Uncyclopedia's dictator in-chief Mordillo what he thought; he agreed to consider the question after a stiff drink. We can only assume it was a strong one as we didn't hear back from him for 3 days. When he came back, he declared, "Uncyclopedia - UNITE! GO OUT TO THE STREETS AND DEMAND MORE BLONDES FOR ALL! MORE WELL SHAPED BLONDES FOR ALL! MORE THREESOMES WITH JEWS! and vote for NotM and RotM right? Trust us, we are the cabal, we know best". As Mordillo was being sedated, Socky bravely stepped in to fill his trousers and surprised everyone by saying "My thoughts on awards are that we should have a lot more of them and we should be a lot less serious about them. We could be having fun instead of worrying about drama. Voting will only lead to good results when not subjugated to logic." Socky went on to lay down his plans for ruling Uncyclopedia and restoring Germany to a dominant position in Europe; he left our interview early to annex Czechoslovakia, so There is a point here, does Uncyclopedia need more awards? Or does it just need more contributors? All we know for sure is that you need to start voting NOW! Or tomorrow if you're a bit busy at the moment. Chief learns Latin; talks about lorums
See {{lorum}} for a full transcript of his Latin writings. |
| ||||||
| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | |||||||
.jpg)
~ 
*shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101125 - 01:02 (UTC)
Don't you love the smell of the UnSignpost in the morning?[edit | edit source]
The Newspaper That Contains Neither News Nor Paper.
Dec 2nd, 2010 • Issue 97 • STOP! UnSignpost time!
|
UFFL Week 12 Update
 Now that it is so far into the season that everyone not involved with the Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League, as well as many that are involved, could not possibly care, what better time for an update? After eleven gruelling weeks, it seems that on top is the one and only Doritians, Take II, with an impressive W-L-T of 9-2-0 and a current six-game win-streak. They are also the only team to currently have a clinched playoff spot. For those not aware, the Doritians, Take II are the follow-up to Cheddar's Doritians last year: an Eagles-based team that performed, to put it frankly, shittily. When asked to comment about his surprising victory, Mr. Cheddar claimed, "GET RAPED SON." Elsewhere in the league, there is currently a tight race for 2nd between the Oklahoma Boomers (who are currently in first point-wise and have the season record for highest score in a game with 168.14 points), The DC RacialSlurs, The Dudes, and Lepus Muerte. The real secondary story revolves around league commissioner and possible Nazi-supporter Rosenkrantzenpants. While last year, the German team took the overall victory with quite ease, this year's team is not so magnificent. After many losing streaks and strokes and bad luck, Rosenkrantzenpants has barely been able to pull itself past an even Win-Lose ratio. However, despite a poor record, he maintains 4th place point-wise. The Well-Dressed Pickles again still have yet to win, most likely due to having six of the worst players in the league (two of which are out for the the season) and a refusal to edit the line-up. The Bearasorta Vikings aren't doing much better. Also, you should watch The League on FX. It's a damn funny show. Aristocrat's Update The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball rumbles on, and as the closing date looms like a fat man over a large cake, the question on everyone's lips is "What's the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball?". In case you have recently returned from an Uncyclopedia hiatus or have been hiking through the Amazon Delta wearing nothing but a pair of slippers, I will explain once again: the ATDB is a festival of frivolity and bad taste, highlighting all those fine, fine contributions we never want to see featured. The UnSignpost sat down with competition judge Lyrithya to find out what, if anything, there was to know. "I would like people to stop asking me for help," Lyrithya moaned before our journalist could open his mouth, "Two people have so far already" The UnSignpost infers from this that the competition is truly a desperate one this year; some entrants have clearly been pushed to the limits of their sanity and have begun searching Uncyclopedia's back alleys for writing tips. To round off our interview we asked Lyrithya who she thought would win. "That guy," she said emphatically, indicating a nearby vending machine, "His article is excellent." Whose article she really means shall remain a mystery until the results become known on December 10th. The competition closes for judging this Friday at 00:00 GMT, so if you want to enter, you need to do so soon. The UnSignpost will be there to bring you the results when the judging has happened unless something more exciting happens. Unlikely, but we live in hope. The Grue Army
 For almost a year, most of our classic usergroups remained in pieces. Groups like the Uncyclopedian Forces, the UnAnarchist Party, the UnFire Department, and yes, even the Grue Apocalypse. The economy also dramatically collapsed, with commerce reaching an all-time low. However, one group stands out among all: the Grue Army. After their leader High Gen. Grue went AWOL, the once-proud Grue Army was left belly-up with only 4 of the original members still in. The decision to revive the group was made and Meganew has been seen wearing Patton-esque General's clothing ever since. Some newer users had joined up with the group already, but it wasn't enough to equal a full-scale revival. Therefore, the leaders decided on an unusual plan of action: pick who they thought would be the 10 best candidates for the group. After some of the candidates decided not to join, the plan was expanded to all of the twenty users originally selected. Some have responded and have become active Grue Army members, deep in-the-cave reserve members, and allies. Some people have questioned the need for another group of people who don't do much, but are happy to tell others what to do, as we already have site admins for just such a job. This has been a shameless advertising promotion from the Grue Army, Join Today!!! |
| |||||
| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | ||||||
--
05:03, December 2, 2010 (UTC)
Hello Mister, do you have a Christmas Goose to sell?[edit | edit source]
Hello, and where have you been??? A few things. "Mike Tyson" on VFH, which you knocked out, seems to be coming back on new edits, and even Romartus voted for it after declining to be seen in the ring with Tyson. Would you please take a second look? Thanks. And Skinfan has joined you among the missing, so the frat is stuck on the Blockbuster article. We did get Weird featured though, so the frat has a perfect record of pleasing the crowd (and the sorority sisters). Come back, come back, I can see you in the distance. Enjoy the holiday things. Aleister 18:07 4 12
- p.s. And since whoring is encouraged, also please check out Never on Sunday on VFH, the perfect Christmas card to give to all of your family members and friends!
- I'm still here, I just haven't had as much time or creativity to do a whole lot of writing. I still try to vote and forum and stuff like that when I can. And about Tyson, I looked at the edits, and I'm still not really feeling it. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 21:17,4December,2010
- Glad you're wandering the site. Thanks for the Never on Sunday vote! Show the page to your mom and local priest, and ask them to vote for it as well. Thanks. And jeez, Mike Tyson, I just looked at it and had to put in lots of edit cuts that were taken out. Somebody went in and edited it, and did some good work but got rid of all my best stuff, and I had to go look behind the Dumpster to put the stuff back in. Maybe when the air clears you can take one more look (and I just thought, I don't remember seeing the baby picture there, was that cut as well?. Must go back in to look behind the dumpster again.) Aleister 00:14 5 12
- p.s. Oh hell no! Found the baby pic and put it back where it was orginally when M&M dropped it off. Looks great right there.
- Glad you're wandering the site. Thanks for the Never on Sunday vote! Show the page to your mom and local priest, and ask them to vote for it as well. Thanks. And jeez, Mike Tyson, I just looked at it and had to put in lots of edit cuts that were taken out. Somebody went in and edited it, and did some good work but got rid of all my best stuff, and I had to go look behind the Dumpster to put the stuff back in. Maybe when the air clears you can take one more look (and I just thought, I don't remember seeing the baby picture there, was that cut as well?. Must go back in to look behind the dumpster again.) Aleister 00:14 5 12
- I'm still here, I just haven't had as much time or creativity to do a whole lot of writing. I still try to vote and forum and stuff like that when I can. And about Tyson, I looked at the edits, and I'm still not really feeling it. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!!