Police Academy

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The poster for Police Academy, which depicts your friendly, determined local police.

Police Academy was a series of documentary films, the first of which was made in the 1980's, was based on actual facts about misfits wanting to join the Police force and was actually set in a Police Academy. Its five sequels and the mostly illegal footage entitled Mission to Moscow, were released in the 80's and 90's and chose to shift the location to, basically, anywhere except Police Academies. The first six films recieved mild critical praise (or mild bloodthirsy hate), although Mission to Moscow was received by 97% of viewers as the biggest piece of crap they had seen since Police Academy 6.

The series opened with the first Police Academy (1984), which started with the premise that a new mayor had announced a policy requiring the Police Academy to accept degenerates, smart-asses, guys who can make funny noises and sex offenders. The rest of the film delved into the hilarious, scatological antics of a group of misfit recruits in their attempts to show the world that the Police force is full of incompetent morons. In general, all of the movies and television shows depended on low-budget film crews, documenting the characterizations and lives of the latest recruits. The first cop-umentry grossed $81.24 in North America, with the following films earning $1.50 in total.

Police Academy[edit | edit source]

The first Cop-U-Mentry[edit | edit source]

Tack beats the shit out of a cop car with his head

Failed director Huge Willie was looking to direct his next low budget snuff film when he heard that Warner Brothers was looking for a director to document the local Police Academy, to show just who upholds the law for U.S citizens. Huge began filming on recruitment day and soon found his main focus on a degenerate named Carey Mahomo, who had just recently been fired as a valet car parker after the parkee made a rude comment to Carey and he parked his $125,000 Camero between a Volvo and a Nissan, hence pissing off the owner who specifically asked for it to be parked next to an American vehicle. The film also introduced the Nazi leaders of the academy, Captain Thaddeus Faggos, that's Captain Hardass in case you missed it, and Sgt Callahan, who is mostly a bitch.

These cops are just horsing around.

Police Academy 2: Their first ass-rimming[edit | edit source]

With the huge grossing income of the first documentary, director Huge Willie, was able to finance the series of pornography films he had always dreamed of making. Unfortunately his success with Titty-Titty Bang-Bang & The Wanker of Oz failed to gain any recognition, so making a sequel to his previous main-stream hit meant he could pay off his financial debt. So Huge gathered up who he could from the first documentary to make a follow up and see where they where now. Luckily for him, Commandant Retard's brother needed a few good men to come and help him clean up his precincts end of town. So Laretard sent his newest rookies that where head-of-the-class off to the precinct to help him out.

This time around the new recruits found themselves taking on a group of street punks with a leader that no one could understand, but feared him for his emotional instability from watching Shirley Temple movies and offering his gang members free dental care.

The adventure would have a joyful ending when the new recruits captured all the punks on the street, because each and everyone of them belonged to the one gang, whom all conveniently lived together in the same refuge.

Police Academy 3: Back In The Saddle of Ass Engaging[edit | edit source]

Sgt. Callahan sure did bring the boys to the yard when she showed her guns!

With the success of the first film, and George Lucas recently completing his Star Wars trilogy, it was the latest rage in film maki6mg to make third sequels to all movies.Huge figured why not make a 3rd documentary on his misfits of the police force and in in 1986 filming began again. His original title was "do you give a crap where they are now... again?" It was backed by WB to start filming right away. This time Huge found the academic achievers where back at the academy helping out Incompetent LaRetard train the brand new recruits, which could be the last academy to ever be trained at their academy, due to the governor wanting to close down one of the academies to save 20 bucks on toilet paper per year.

Huge also filmed the rival academy that consisted of nothing but Nazi's and young & strapping handsome men. If you have not seen the documentary, and wish to, we will not spoil the end by telling you which academy survives. You will have to watch it to find out if LaRetards academy is the victor or not? We will not even give you any hint's, as we really do not like spoilers here on uncyclodpeida.com. If you have seen the movie, and know the outcome, please to not reveal it to anyone else who may be reading this. No one likes spoilers. Thank you.

Scary thing is, we didn't edit this!

Police Academy 4: Shitheads on patrol[edit | edit source]

So after LaRetard won the battle to keep his academy open, he has a brilliant idea to help get the community more involved in crime prevention. In a scheme he called "Citizens Undertaking Natrual-crime-provention Tactic Structures" or CUNTS for short. The boys n girls in blue help out LaRetards plan to get the civilians to do the work of the cops. It however backfired in the end when not one of the CUNTS helped to save the govenor in the end, and it was Mahomo that was left to save the day.

Police Academy 5: Ass-rimming on Miami Beach[edit | edit source]

By this time, in 1988, Huge had used up all his money on making more independent fuck-features like "Willy Wanka & The Cock Licking Factory" & "3 Men & a Horny Lady" so he had to beg for a 5th documentary to be allowed to be made by him. It was given the OK and he found the group of academic graduates where about to embark to Miami to assist Commondumbcunt Eric LaRetard who was accepting the award for Police Ass-Rimmer of the decade. Along the journey LaRetard is kidnapped by a group of wogs and doesn't realize they are not gigolos.

The movies reception was the start of the long down fall of PA movies, as it was not set in the Academy, therefor making the title seem a little misleading, and Mahomo had fucked off with Sharon Stone and fell out of a hot-air balloon on their honey-moon when he realized she had beaver that caused him to fall over the side of the balloon in a fatal retraction.

Police Academy 6: City Under Siege[edit | edit source]

you can tell by the cover it's shit

This time Huge was just scraping the bottom of the barrel in what was the last of the documentary series. He followed the story of a chef named Casey Ribek who rescued a battle ship from being taken over by Tommy Lee Jones.

This was regarded as one of the worst documentaries ever.

Police Academy 7: Pissing on Moscow[edit | edit source]

Due to the nature of this documentary, we refuse to acknowledge its existence, our only excuse for mentioning it here by now is it is the #1 worst movie of all time, next to Micheal Jacksons Moonwalker, The Slaughterhouse Massacre and Halloween 2. Please refrain from trying to find a copy of this film, and destroy any copy of it you might see given to someone as an April fools joke.

Jones talks to.... never mind, you see why it failed

Cop Outs[edit | edit source]

The Cartoon Series[edit | edit source]

There was a cartoon series based off these documentaries, but no one ever saw them, hence we don't know jack shit about them.

The TV Series[edit | edit source]

Once again, no one ever saw these, so we can only say sweet fuck-all about them!

The Future Of Police Academy Documentaries?[edit | edit source]

Huge Willie has hinted at making an 8th documentary soon, if his latest porno flicks "Mr Hollands Orgy", "Riding Miss Daisy" or "Beaver & Buttfuck Do Dallas" don't make him a 12 dollar profit to maje back what he invested into making them. If he fails to achieve that amount, he will make Police Academy 8. However in this day and age, it will most likely not be called Police Academy 8, it will be more some shit like "THE police academy" or "Steve Guttertrash needs to revive his career and Cocoon 3 was rejected."


See Also[edit | edit source]