Scottie Pippen was one of the greatest NBA players in basketball history, and also one of the ugliest motherfuckers in world history. Pippen was the man always backing Michael Jordan up on the Chicago Bulls and was said to be the man who, if he weren't living in Jordan's shadow, would be a superstar leader in the NBA. However, that was proven to be a load of Chicago Bullshit when Jordan decided to fuck off from the Bulls for a year; Pippen was left to lead, and he didn't accomplish shit.
Scottie Pippen[edit | edit source]
Pippen was born sometime, and had a childhood. When he was old enough he joined the NBA, in part because of the 1980s "phase out the white man" campaign that is still succeeding to this day. Pippen joined the Chicago Bulls and was just what the team needed to get the ball to Jordan successfully. He was also a pretty good scorer for the team when Jordan decided to take a time-out and go chat up some whores behind his wife's back.
Pippen was nicknamed something or other that never stuck, but is regarded as the second-best player the Bulls have ever had. He was there helping the entire team get the ball to Jordan in their 1991-1993 and 1995-1998 championships.
Snotty Shitten[edit | edit source]
Basketball fans always wondered if Pippen would be a better player than Jordan if Jordan ever passed the ball to Pippen more. Pippen would find out in 1994 when Michael Jordan announced his retirement to go introduce dunking to netball. Pippen took the Bulls by the horns, but his grip was shitten.
Pippen won the year's "Most Valuable Player That Isn't Michael Jordan" award that year at the NBA All-Stars game, but only managed to get the third-highest amount of points that season, and totally fucked it up when it came to the NBA playoffs.
Pippen would beg for Michael to return, admitting he was sorry and that he couldn't lead the Bulls to victory on his own.
Scottie Too Hottie, But an Ugly Son of a Bitch[edit | edit source]
Pippen got his wish, and Jordan returned, sending Pippen back into the shadows to watch how a real superstar ballhog does it. The team was back on top and went on to win the 1996, 1997 and 1998 finals.
Jordan then announced that he was done with basketball, and that Pippen should know how to lead the Bulls on his own now. But he didn't. Pippen was traded off to another team, then came back a few years later, but still couldn't lead a Bull to water and make it dunk.
Scottie Pippen and Chuck Norris are also friends.
Euro[edit | edit source]
Pippen finally found his mark in life when he quit the NBA and joined the European League of Retarded Athletes. Even though he is still only the third-highest scorer in the league, at least he can walk faster than the other cripples.
Reliable sources also report that Pippen fucked several of Michael Jordan's wives - but only after Michael passed them onto him because they'd gotten fat.
Whatever happened to Scottie?[edit | edit source]
In 2022 Scottie released a book of his bitterness and frustrations saying he is the greatest player if all time, even tho he never once ever beat Jordan one on one. Scott claimed it was all just due to Michaels selfishness not passing him the ball, which shows Scotties intelegence level when it comes to his understanding the rules of 1 on 1.
Scottie also stated that LeBron James was a better player than Jordan, but took it back when he realised the question wasnt reffering to Dungeons & Dragon's.
Its been said Scottie is just saying any old bullshit to promote sales of his book because he needs to money for the rest of his post-op surgery to finally look pretty enough for Dennis Rodman to start taking him seriosly.
Scottie also lays claim that he could fuck the AIDS out of Magic Johnson and sleep with more women than Wilt Chaimberlain if Jordan wasnt so selfish and single handedly ruined the game of basketball by simply being a thousand times better looking than Pippen, which is why Scottie is so desperate to transition into a woman so badly now.