Dennis Rodman

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Tragically, this picture has not been doctored.

Dennis Rodman is a former professional basketball player, wrestler, bride, political activist, US Ambassador to North Korea, lesbian, and general lunatic. He is a graduate of Frankfort Kentuckistan Community University. He is the founder, creator, chief visionary officer, head chef and CEO of Denny's restaurants. Dennis Rodman is often confused for Dennis.

Basketball career[edit | edit source]

According to public records Rodman played 10 seasons in the WNBA, though league analysts have been perpetually confused as to which teams he plays for. Two things are for sure: Rodman's ability to get any woman he wants, and his mutant ability to change his hair to any color, made him a notorious player.

A couple of his best basketball buddies

  • Michael Jordan
  • Shaq
  • David Robinson (kissed this one)
  • Martha Stewart
  • Karl Marx

Wrestling career[edit | edit source]

After retiring from professional basketball, Rodman took up professional wrestling for a short while. There he joined the NWO and banged Vince McMahon doggy style. This cause Vince to later decide that he wanted to fake his death in a limousine crash. Sadly, his plot was ruined by Chris Benoit's death when he performed his most effective finishing maneuvers on his immediate family. But this is getting ahead of the story. Dennis Rodman wrestled for a while. End of story. Oh, and he also fucked Carmen Electra. Many times

Film career[edit | edit source]

His first venture into Hollywood sees him starring alongside Jean-Claude Van Damme in an action movie directed by a John Woo-cum-Michael Bay wannabe, Double Team, as well as starring as the lead of the critically acclaimed movie adaptation of the classic children's game, Simon Says, with Dane Cook.

Political activism[edit | edit source]

Rodman has recently become politically active, engaging in various humanitarian efforts. In 2013, Rodman began regularly visiting North Korea to discuss their deplorable human rights record with Kim Jong-un. Upon arrival, Kim threw a lavish hookers and blow party in Rodman's honor and assured him that there were no human rights violations in North Korea, the happiest place on Earth. A relieved Rodman relayed this message to the rest of the world, and every head of state called Rodman personally to express their gratitude. Rodman was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his remarkable achievement.

Marriages[edit | edit source]

Dennis Rodman is perhaps most famous for his frequent and outrageous marriages.

Rodman once exclaimed in front of eighty seven million people in a castle in western Switzerland:

'Citation Needed'

The people all took their clothes off, and Rodman sucked every single one off. It took at least eighty seven eons.

Other activities[edit | edit source]

Since retiring he has publicly stated that he is taking the time to find peace and relaxation and by that he means smoking lots of weed.