Kobe Bryant

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There once was an ugly chopper
With rotors all stubby and brown
Helicopter 1.jpg
And the skeptic turds in so many words said
Quack! Get out of town
(Quack!) Get out, (Quack! Quack!) get out, (Quack! Quack!) get out of town
And he went with a dunk and a dribble and a dunk
To the Forum of Lakertown


That poor little ugly chopper
Went dribbling far and near
But at every place they said to his face, now
(Quack!) get out of here
(Quack!) get out, (Quack! Quack!) get out, (Quack! Quack!) get out of here
And he went with a dunk and a dribble and a dunk
And a very unhappy tear


All through the wintertime he hid himself away
Ashamed to show his dunk, afraid of what others might say
All through the winter in his lonely clump of clouds
Till a flock of planes spied him there and had no fucking doubt
BadgerBadgerBadger1.gif
You're a very fine plane indeed!
A plane? Me a plane? Ah, go on!
And they said yes, you're a plane
Take a look at yourself in the lake and you'll see
And he looked, and he saw, and he said
I am a plane! Whee!


I'm not such an ugly chopper
No rotors all stubby and brown
For in fact these birds in so many words said
The best in town, the best, the best
The best in town


Not a quack, not a quack, not a poser or a quack
But a glide and an air-dance and a perfect reverse dunk
And a throw so noble and high
Say who's an ugly chopper?


Not I!
Not I!

The Academy Awards Version[edit]

The Coronavirus Version[edit]

This Chinese bat gets eaten and in a month becomes more famous than Bruce Wayne.