Gibson SG
What is a Gibson SG?[edit | edit source]
The Gibson SG is the Devils own personal model of guitar. Only the true rock 'n' roll guitarist will pick up the light weight, devil horned, easy action, kick ass, blood mustering sounding model guitar that was first designed and created from Satan's very own left nut.
Many believed that the true rock 'n' roll guitar was that of a Fender Stratocaster but that was revealed in an interview with Beelzebub in Rolling Stoned Magazine published in 1856 when he explained that the SG was carved from part of his left testicle, and the Strat was part of his right, but the left sided testicle was the bigger one that had more grunt behind it then the back up reserve side he made the Strat out of.
Only Those Worthy Shall Play The Guitar Made Of Satan's Own Testicle[edit | edit source]
Only the unholiest of unholiest guitar gods have chosen the SG as there choice of axe. Most notably of those would be Angus Young of AC/DC who Satan gave his own personal signature model to that was carved from both the left side of the testicle, but the neck was made from parts of the right side, to make it twice as awesome as the original. Plus its more expensive, and Hell has air conditioning bills to pay off.
Other notable legends would be Led Zeppelins guitarist Jimmy Page who played the double neck SG and no one else really matters worth mentioning in the eyes of Satan, as they are not true to the Devils own reproductive organ players.
Rip Off Models[edit | edit source]
There are several rip off models of the SG out there, mainly under the name Epiphone SG. These guitars are cheap imitations and are usually made of plain old earthly wood. Tho rumor has it the original one was made from Adolf Hitlers testicle after his mother chopped it off.. Which is why they just have a whiny winging sound to them rather then the sound of playing with balls from hell.
Other Uses For The SG[edit | edit source]
The two devil horn like spikes on the end of the guitar can be used for impaling the guitar through the chest of a human. Which Bon Scott did in 1979 to Angus Young live on stage during an argument they where having over if Little Richard was in fact a visitor to Vegemite Valley or not.
The incident was caught on camera and later documented as proof on the video clip to AC/DC's "If You Want Blood You've Got It" in which the footage was deemed usable as Satan brought Angus back to life the next day because Jimi Hendrix was enough to put up with already.
In 1984 Barbra Streisand used one of the devils horns of the guitar body to find her g-spot for the first time, as well did Freddy Mercury.
