From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Christopher "Aysa" Poolf was a former wrestler with the WCW during the Monday Night Wars era (1845-2001).

WCW's Answer To Chyna[edit | edit source]

Over at rival company, WWF they where getting remarkable ratings with their own ideas. WCW would copy anything the WWF did in hopes their rip-off/clone would be more successful then theirs by using their (wwe) own ideas against them. WCW ripped off many a things such as ripping off Stone Cold Temple Pilot Austin with Goldturd, The TitanTron with the MegaTron, Gobbledegooker with The Shockmaster and of coarse, Chyna with Aysa. Chyna was a body-building shemale with the WWF, so WCW's answer to that was finding Senor Poolf, who was a body-building hermaphrodite at the Florida Gym Of Body Building Hermaphroditic Club House.

Aysa made her debut for WCW in 1997 in a segment Of WCW Candid Camera where as a practical joke, cameras secretly followed Ric Flair to a massage parlor where he met Aysa and paid her a large amount in cash for personal pleasures. The cameras burst in on the two going at it, catching Ric Flair off guard as he ran away, fleeing from the room with nothing but a small hand-towel to cover his face from cameras. Ric later denied being there at the parlor, and that it was not him, but Aysa would be seen around the mens locker room on several occasions during Nitro taping's, looking for Flair for not paying his bill during his last visit.

Here She/He/It Comes To The Ring[edit | edit source]

Aysa then next appeared at the Bitch At The Beach PPV, and interrupted Flair's match against Hulk Hogan, by holding up a pair of Flairs underwear that he had left behind during his last visit to her parlor, she was also announcing she wanted her money for her services. Flair was distracted long enough for Hogan to stop laughing and sneak up for a quick school-boy pin to win the match. The after-math of the match saw Aysa and Flair spitting words at each other, with Aysa insisting & strongly demanding Flair pay her the 6 bucks he owes her.

WCW cameras interviewed Aysa on the following edition of Nitro where Aysa admitted she was a hermie-hooker, and that Flair was one of her regular clients. Flair soon burst in on the scene denying these allegations, and saying that Aysa was just a freak of nature who needed to go and fuck herself. Aysa proceeded to taunt Ric by undressing and doing just as he said she should go and do. Flair went completely nuts over this, and said if she wanted to see a nickle from him, she would have to compete in the ring against him, that very night. Aysa agreed to the challenge and the two where later booked for the semi main-event later that night.

Come match time, Flair entered the ring with The Four Whoresmen. Ric grabbed the mic to announce that he knew it was not him who was Aysa's client! He claimed it was actually Phil Donahue, but decided to kick Aysa's ass anyway for interfering in his match, and taunting him earlier by going and fucking herself. Aysa then made her way down to the ring with a number of emotionless bodyguards that seemed to vanish without a trace once she got into the ring. Why she had that many bodyguards we may never know, but WCW was notorious for doing such stupid fucking things.

Aysa VS The 4 Whoresmen[edit | edit source]

The bell rang and Flair and Aysa locked horns, Flair used his horn to slap Aysa in the face, but Aysa had an advantage and sucked Flairs horn into her own Horn-Catcher and proceeded to slap Flair around with her own "Horn" she was now sporting in Flairs face. Flair escaped the hole, then turned to punch Aysa who then whipped him so hard with her own penis, Flair just turned in circles in the ring in a daze before slowly falling to the floor. Flair rose to his knees and begged Aysa to stop as she proceeded to strike another blow, Aysa backed off and Flair used his old wrinkly ballsack to smack her in the jaw with. Flair then kicked her in the ...cun...coc....he gave her a low blow her with his foot, then climbed the turnbuckles for an air assault, but Aysa counted the attack by swinging her balls against the ropes that knocked Flair off his feet, then proceeded to toss Flair across the ring.

Flair got back to his feet soon after and Aysa took advantage by whipping him into the corner where Flair tumbled through the turnbuckles and landed on the outside of the canvas, he stood up on the outside and began to strut, by Aysa used her now fully erect boner to clothesline Flair over. Now with Flair outside the ring, the four Whoresmen invaded the ring, they each proceeded to give chair shots to the nuts of Aysa until she puked. She was soon sent help from the back of the Nacho Man Randy Savage and his large breasted Hench-sluts. The groups got into a huge cat fight with nails being chipped and hair being pulled, until Flair snuck back into the ring and knocked Aysa down with a can of anti-hermaphrodite bat-spray. With Aysa knocked down, Flair applied his trademark Figure Four Testicle Lock and Aysa submitted giving Flair the win.

Go Fuck Yourself[edit | edit source]

The following week Aysa returned to the WCW but was told she no longer had a position wrestling for them as no one gave a crap about her and her Chyna wanna-be gimmick. Aysa was pissed at this desicion wanting revenge on Flair, but WCW informed Aysa that this was in fact the WCW and no one viewing the WCW even noticed she made an appearance the past few weeks. Aysa demanded to speak to Eric Bischoff about this, and Eric just told her to go fuck herself, again. So she was never seen in pro-wrestling again.

She did try to take a job with the WWE after Chyna departed, but Vince McMahon said there was no place for a abnormally-freakish-bodybuilder shemale, or hermaphrodite as now Triple-H was over that fetish, and in love with Vince's sun Stephen. She complained about this unfair treatment, but Vince was heard for the first time in his life agreeing with Eric Bischoffs idea that she should just go fuck herself.

Where Is She/He/It Now?[edit | edit source]

Still fucking herself.