Crazy Larry
“Loved him in those CRAZY discount ads”
Crazy Larry is in fact a misnomer. He started his acting career as a momentary distraction from incipient syphilitic dementia, staring in 1975's Magnum Torch Song Trilogy, playing himself as a vigilante, chanteuse and pyromaniac. The whirlwind of publicity, instant stardom and elevation of Crazy Larry to a pop culture archetype took everyone - including Larry himself - by surprise. As the first of the sound byte action heroes everyone from mailmen to presidential candidates were spouting his catch phrases "Wanna get lucky, punk?" , "Make me a drink" and "Hey, Sailor!"
Out of the Pubic Eye[edit | edit source]
Despite his sudden popularity, Larry's star-studded lifestyle was not enough to preserve his sanity. His life took a turn for the worse when a sixteen year old fan burned down his high school in a black sequined evening gown. Blaming himself for the tragedy Larry suffered a nervous breakdown and semi-retired from acting. The only films made during this bleak period of the star's life featured a monkey as a co star, and therefore found little appreciation from the popular audience.
Sightings[edit | edit source]
Crazy Larry is reported to have been seen in a Newcastle school by the name of Adam Bradley. care should be taken in approaching Larry as he is extremely contagious.
Also will respond to Highlander or Landrover, it is the custom to throw rocks at him and ward him off and property owned by anyone.
Has been sited in Newcastle's capital 'the monument' lying down with his big bag of mystery mumbling to himself about how the real Santa will one day come back kick the shit out of him in a big gay wrestling match.
Later History[edit | edit source]
In 1985, Larry exploded onto the scene determined to make things right. This consisted primarily of parlaying his ciche culture clout (and his amazingly awful alliterative ability) to open a discount medical supply warehouse with himself as spokes person. However, Crazy Larry was a changed man. He puttered around in his ratty bathrobe and bunny slippers muttering dejectedly "I'm sorry" and "You're right, you're right". It looks like we will never again witness the glory of Larry's early years in film.
The Future[edit | edit source]
Crazy 'Bradass' Larrimy is going to wrestle his way through collage while studying l33t and having mad 'bum-love' (as in: the anus and being hoborific). He then plans to catch chlamydia off a 13 year old salamander named Frederick and then get a job at the local death row helping the inmates decide to commit suicide, freeing up more cells to put charvs in and thus saving the world. He will then search the World of Warcraft for an 'Anti-Larry' so they can run into each other annihilate himself the only way possible and make the world perfect.