Shockmaster
The Shockmaster was a professional Jedi, amateur wrestler, and porno-champion before becoming a mega-star amongst the rap-music when he later in life changed his name to Silkkk The Shocker then to The Artist Formerly Known As Silkkk The Shock-Master and then settled on Big Fat Cunt. But everyone still refers to him as The Shockmaster because he is the master of shock. Honestly.
A Little Shocker[edit | edit source]
During the 18th annual Battle of Espen, the imperial leader Darth Faggatron raped the entire eleven-teenth imperial squadron of trainee Storm Trooper cadets during one of their scout jamborees. During the ill-fated event, one Storm Trooper would fall pregnant to the attack, and 9 months later, what looked like a glitter covered storm trooper with a huge fat-ass was delivered into the world during a massive crap attack.
The child was almost flushed away with the rest of the turds, but at last minute was rescued from the bowl by a breathalyzer droid named RU-0.5. The child was taken to the Imperial sonnet where it was believed this may be the chosen child that was spoken about in legends, conceived since the dawn of time. Which was Tuesday, the 11th of February, 1981. The boy was named by the Jedi Councilmen as "The Shock Master". However none of the Jedi members could for-see the child's future clearly, but it was believed he would be the Master of Shock, and shock he would bring.
Shock-Master, or Uncle Sho'Ma as he liked to be called soon was growing up and learning the ways of the forced-to-have-sex ways with Johnny Sky-Walker. Johnny would show him the ways of the force-yourself-upon-younglings. His training came to an end when the Emperor was killed by Shock Master's pit-of-shock that Darth Nigga threw the Emperor down over a matter of unpaid Tauntaun parking fines.
Shockmaster was out of a home, so he headed to the WCW to wreak shocking havoc upon the audience in ways never seen before in the world of professional wrestling. Why he chose Wrestling as a career is as much anyone's guess, same as why the fuck would he chose the WCW? Probably cause it would be SHOCKING!!!!!
Double Ya Cee Double Ya's King Of Shock[edit | edit source]
Shockmaster burst into the office of Emperor Eric Pissoff, Shockmaster tripped on the bottom half of the broken door and tumbled into the room. His glittery Storm Trooper helmet came off and he staggered around to find it and put it back on before getting to his feet to announce to Eric that he was his new champion wrestler. Eric burst out laughing at Shockmaster, but loved the impressive entrance he made. But Eric was nice enough to offer the kid a contract and allow him to join the WCW, as they needed all the talentless rejects they could get.
Shockmaster was set to make his debut on a live WCW taping by Rowdy Roddy Piper in the Pipers Shit-Pit. Another fat-ass named the Fuckless Wonder of American Dreams, Dusty Springfield introduced the Shockmaster as someone who was here to shock the WCW. That he did, as Shockmaster shockingly crashed through the wall in such a shocking way that he tripped over the shock-proof door, just like in Eric's office, and shockingly tumbled to the ground causing an earthquake that left aftershocks for days, then tried to grab his glitter covered Storm Trooper helmet so no one could see his typhoon looking face, got to his feet and shockingly announced, "I Am The Shock Master" which shocked audiences and other wrestlers sending such shockwaves down there spines.
The following week on WCW Negro, Shockmaster made his debut match against Big Fat-Ass Darth Vader. Shockmaster's music hit (The Shock Dance), and Shock Master made his Shocking entrance by crashing through the curtain and falling down the isle, he tumbled and rolled all the way down to the ring, then slammed into it with such shocking force. The ring moved like it had been hit by a shocking tug-boat sized earthquake, the ring moved several feet, so far it moved into the audience squashing several patrons in the shocking natural disaster that killed 7 people and a midget named Rudy. It took a tug-boat more than 3 and a half minutes to clear up the mess after-wards. The match was called off and is considered to be the most shocking moment in WCW history since the time ShockMaster burst into Eric's office.
The shocking news to come was that The Shockmaster would get a second chance to redeem himself. He was brought back as a shocking surprise last minute entry to take on the current United States Heavy Weight Champion of the entire world & universe, Robocop. Robocop and Shockmaster where billed in the first ever WCW "Battle Of The Most Shocking Wrestlers" main event. The special guest referee (the Gobbledegooker) introduced Robocop then announced The Shockmaster. The music played, and Shockmaster burst threw the projector screen above the stage and tripped over a camera cable, pyrotechnics burst into Shockmasters face, he inhaled the whole fireworks display then shockingly sent more pyrotechnics out of his ass and into the crowed killing several audience members including women and children. Yet again the match was called off due to the shocking outcome and Shockmaster was forced to be kicked out of the WCW for killing 15 people, which was the entire fan-club of the WCW.
Shockmaster was never seen in Professional Wrestling ever again... well, except that time in 2008 when DX mocked him as a promotion advert for the most shocking matches in WCW history. But the WWE could not get Shockmaster to be the Shockmaster, so they went with the next crappiest thing they could find, and put the glittery storm-trooper helmet on John Cena.
Silkkk The Shocker[edit | edit source]
After the Shockmaster's brief & embarrassing career came to an end in the WCW. He decided he would try his hand at making music. But shockingly he never made music, he recorded rap songs instead. He changed his name to Silkk The Shocker and released a few rap tunes around the world. He shocked audiences with such moderate hits like "Shock Lock Holmes", "Shock The House", "Shocking All Over The World" and "Charge My Shocking Debts To The Game, Triple-H".
Shocking Death[edit | edit source]
Sillk The Shocker released a few albums, but was dismissed by the rap community as being nothing but Shockingly Shit. Shockmaster then changed his name from Sillk to "The Artist Formally Known as Silkk The Shockmaster" but to his shock no one gave a shock about it. Shock then released his final album in 2004 called "Based On A Shocking Story" before he was executed in a drive-by shocking in mid 2004 for just being such a crap and shocking artist. The world was shocked to hear The Shockmaster had been gunned down in such a shocking manner. He will be forever remembered by all his adoring shockilites.
External links[edit | edit source]
