Australian rules football

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“Ball!”

~ The crowd

“Fuck you, stupid umpire!”

~ Also the crowd

“That's 50 meters, a $5,000 fine and 3 years jail!”

~ Umpire to the crowd
You may be looking for Rugby and not even know it!

Australian rules football (pronounced Stray'n rules football), referred to by almost everybody as Aussie rules or just footy (and by Asian people as the great Australian game) is a code of football that is played all around Australia and all around the world. It began in Victoria, the state where it is the official state religion, as Victorian rules and later spread to the other British colonies, New South Wales, Queensland, Westralia, South Australia, Tasmania and even New Zealand shortly after it was played by the Vics. They started up the VFL and other leagues back then. The biggest national competition for the sport is the AFL (or if you're a woman, the AFLW). Aussie rules is generally played on a cricket ground. The AFL is the most watched sport in Australia (and in Nauru, a tiny island nobody cares about except the refugees who are sent there by Australia) and the AFL Grand Final gets millions of people interested in the sport every year in September.

Difference to other sports[edit | edit source]

Difference to handegg[edit | edit source]

Unlike handegg, Aussie rules games do not stop for ads just because some dickhead says so, they only stop for ads during breaks or when someone actually scores (behinds don't count).

Difference to rugby[edit | edit source]

There is less tackling and you can only tackle the waist.

Difference to Gaelic football[edit | edit source]

Gaelic football is so similar that there is an international rules series every few years between Australia and Ireland.

See also[edit | edit source]