User:RAHB/Talk Archive 13
This page is an archive. The contents have been moved from another page for reference purposes only, and should be preserved in their current form. Discussion or voting on this page is not current. Any additions you make will probably not be read. The current version of this page can be found at User talk:RAHB. |
Talk Archive 1 (2/28/07 - 7/6/07) • Talk Archive 2 (7/6/07 - 9/8/07)
Talk Archive 3 (9/8/07 - 12/8/07) • Talk Archive 4 (12/8/07 - 5/18/08)
Talk Archive 5 (5/18/08 - 7/12/08) • Talk Archive 6 (7/12/08 - 8/20/08)
Talk Archive 7 (8/20/08 - 12/3/08) • Talk Archive 8 (12/3/08 - 2/19/09)
Talk Archive 9 (2/19/09 - 5/25/09) • Talk Archive 10 (5/25/09 - 10/26/09)
Talk Archive 11 (10/26/09 - 12/9/09) • Talk Archive 12 (12/9/09 - 4/25/10)
Talk Archive 13 (4/25/10 - 8/26/10) • Talk Archive 14 (8/26/10 - 8/13/11)
Talk Archive 15 (8/13/11 - 1/30/12) • Talk Archive 16 (1/30/12 - 7/12/12)
Talk Archive 17 (7/12/12 - 1/10/13) • Talk Archive 18 (1/10/13 - 7/11/13)
Talk Archive 19 (7/11/13 - 8/15/14) • Talk Archive 20 (8/15/14 - 5/27/18)
♥♥♥ I love you. ♥♥♥
The reason for this being that I get to use this new and shiny template to say hi!! Yes, this does indeed mean I lied to you -- you smell and no one loves you. Anyways, you look like you could use a buddy. We're all good friends around here, so here's some important stuff to help you out!
- Beginner's Guide - this has lots of really cool stuff in it. I think.
- Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your grandmother, your gay teachers, or your dog.
- How to Be Funny and Not Just Stupid - how to be loved, even though you smell bad, and occasionally experience the uncontrollable urge to dance to 80's music.
If for some reason you you still want to find out more, these will help a bunch!
- About Uncyclopedia and The Five Pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to Get Started Editing on Uncyclopedia
- Help Pages
One more thing! When you do stuff, remember to sign your name using four tildes or just that weird looking sign () button at the top of the little edit box thingy. Anyways, I've gotta go practice being a fairy princess. Love,
- I hope they like my articles here. Maybe one day I'll even get to be an admin! -RAHB 13:21, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
CRUSHERBOT
Thanks RAHB. He totally would have gone on a CRUSHING RAMPAGE BEEP BOOP BEEP if he noticed. --Flammable 12:53, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
- My penis keeps turning CRUSHERBOT on. Sorry about that. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 00:53, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
My article
How come you put an unfinished template on my article? It was actually finished. --SadisticWolf 15:29, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
- Well, it's very very short. And it's a list. And it says in itself that the author couldn't be arsed to think of anything else. And it's pretty much one huge name drop. So I figured you may like to expand on it. Perhaps some paragraphs, pictures, other angles, and more original jokes. Try reading UN:BGBU and HTBFANJS, and maybe take a look at some of our featured work for inspiration. Generally, a really short article has to be really great to stick around, and I know a few admins who may have deleted it instead of putting the template on it. Think it over for a while, try to come up with something more in depth, and see what you can get going. Nothing personal, it's just Uncyc policy. -RAHB 06:51, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
- Oh. I had some writer's block so I thought I'd finish up quickly. I'll get better, I promise - I've been reading articles recently. Also, can you delete Steve Berry and gender neutrality? I give up on them, they suck. --SadisticWolf 16:38, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
Look!
I have a pretty new sig! Love,
- That is pretty. Does it come in vanilla scent? -RAHB 07:59, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
- I THINK IT'S LESS BLURRY THIS TIME. Love,
Taylor Swift
I forgot about the expiration date on there, so do you mind sending it to my userspace?--DirectorWILLYOU 333 03:10, April 29, 2010 (UTC)
- Er, sure thing, but you know the only content was "Taylor Swift is a Country singer." -RAHB 22:00, April 29, 2010 (UTC)
UnSignpost 1 May
May contain traces of humor!
April 22nd 1st May, 2010 • Issue 85 • Insert penis joke here
The launch of a new and exciting weekend edition. Maybe. "Where is my signpost?" was the cry heard from the world wide masses this week. "There should have been an issue on the 22nd and on the 29th, and nothing seems to have been done about it." Fear not, gentle reader, for the signpost will not go gentle into the good night. We have instead taken a brief hiatus for no reason that we could conceivably come up with, and now we are back in a blaze of glory. For those who are unaware of our proud history, the next issue, coming out this Thursday, will mark the (roughly) 2 year anniversary of the creation of the UnSignpost, the unperiodic periodical started by Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek. The good doctor, at the time of the first issue, was asked what his feelings were towards creating the first formalised forum for spam within Uncyclopedia. It was from this that we now have the immortal words "Those assholes better appreciate this. They'd BETTER." Now, two years on from those words of wit and wisdom, the UnSignpost is still There have been varied reports as to why the USP has not been released. One suggestion is that regular contributors just "couldn't be bothered writing." Others have suggested that it comes down to the unwillingness of the head editor, who was recently heard to say "I'm so against... this... again... (E)xistence is far more than (it) deserves."[1] One of the more probable reasons for the lack of issues may be that the news has now gone viral, and is available more readily through facebook then it has been previously. One facebook semi-regular, who bears a remarkable resemblance to a Silent Bob inaction figure, has said of this development "Excuse me, but I think your geek is showing." Dexter111344 supported the move to the social networking site by saying "I won't be joining as I don't intend to ever make a Facebook." Another possibility is the number of users now communicating via UnSkypelopedia. When asked for a comment, EMC said "OH FUCKING CHRIST I'VE CUM" Dr.Skullthumper, however, said "I started both of them.", and then wished to make reference to some forum or something. Ethine, however, was somewhat more constructive, informing this reporter that "Since it's getting close to summer, we'll likely have more calls, as most people's schedules are slowing down. As well as calls, we have the neat little chat thing at the bottom, where everyone sexually harasses each other when calls aren't going." Despite several attempts, I still haven't been sexually harassed. One reason why users have not been as distracted recently is due to the enormous amount of work going on at PEE review. At present there are articles waiting for review which have been there for over three weeks. For all those who are looking to get the review process back and alive, please pick up an article for review today. Your time and investment into this proud tradition can create the next great article, like the recently featured A wizard did it or the recently nominated UnNews:Windows 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 came out, hailed by some as "the most profound and groundbreaking article to hit Uncyclopedia in over 50 years" Another reason why many users may be distracted is the number of collaborations that are currently in progress. Of those there is Tim Burton, being cleaned up by the team at ΥΣΣ, lead by the fantastic Skinfan13. Also starting to make some ground in the spread of reliable information is the team at Multiliteralist/Summit of Spin, lead by the wonderful Multiliteralist. And of course, coming out blinking from seeing the light of Discordianism is the ever faithful Imperial colonization, lead by everyone's favourite canine, And of course, another reason might simply be that the team here at USP are all running around arranging bake sales to assist with Poo Lit Surprise, the bi-annual competition that actually gives prizes to the winners. The most likely explanation, however, is that nothing newsworthy ever happens on Uncyclopedia |
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UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox |
Brought to you by fucking magic. 09:51, 1 May 2010
Hello
Get on Skype you sexy bunny --++ 06:22, May 9, 2010 (UTC)
Yoga
Can I have yoga back, Funnybony and I are going to work on it very soon. Thanks. Aleister sans chains 17:56 10 5 MMX
- Viola. -RAHB 18:04, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks! Al des chain 18:14 10 5 MMX
Glad you liked my article
You're right. Somebody needs to review it already. Thanks for the ego boost! Also, the fact that you're on last.fm is beautiful. I'm a fan User:Mrthejazz/sig 23:53, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
- It's excellent. I've been a huge fan of your zaniness for quite some time, but I only just recently found your subpage with your listed articles. From what I've seen in three years, you don't get near the praise you deserve for your work here. Hopefully a listing on the Hall Of Shame can change all of that. And last.fm indeed, do you have an account on there? -RAHB 05:45, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
- Frankly, I didn't know I had any fans. Thank-you! It really means a lot. Yeah, I have an account. I haven't been able to hear any of your stuff lately though, because of computer problems. When I have the resources, I'll have to check your stuff out. Thanks again! User:Mrthejazz/sig 04:15, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
- Do it to it. I'd have to imagine you have many fans like me who assumed you already knew how awesome you were. Or maybe not. Maybe I'm the only one. I am, after all, a complete and utter loony bird. /me sprouts wings and burrows into the ground -RAHB 04:17, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
- Just letting you know my Jack Black article is now up for VFH! An enthusiastic YES! would be greatly appreciated. User:Mrthejazz/sig 02:17, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
- Funky! -RAHB 23:13, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
- (Me jumping up and down excitably)User:Mrthejazz/sig 03:45, May 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Now get a skype account, ya crazy! :D -RAHB 04:49, May 18, 2010 (UTC)
- I don't have a webcam. User:Mrthejazz/sig 04:53, May 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Do you have a mic? That's all you really need. Or you could just be silent and just type into the chat. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 04:56, May 18, 2010 (UTC)
- No mic, but I could type. I'm not sure how these things work. FINE! you win! FINE FINE DOUBLE FINE!User:Mrthejazz/sig 04:57, May 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Do you have a mic? That's all you really need. Or you could just be silent and just type into the chat. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 04:56, May 18, 2010 (UTC)
- I don't have a webcam. User:Mrthejazz/sig 04:53, May 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Now get a skype account, ya crazy! :D -RAHB 04:49, May 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Just letting you know my Jack Black article is now up for VFH! An enthusiastic YES! would be greatly appreciated. User:Mrthejazz/sig 02:17, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
- Do it to it. I'd have to imagine you have many fans like me who assumed you already knew how awesome you were. Or maybe not. Maybe I'm the only one. I am, after all, a complete and utter loony bird. /me sprouts wings and burrows into the ground -RAHB 04:17, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
- Frankly, I didn't know I had any fans. Thank-you! It really means a lot. Yeah, I have an account. I haven't been able to hear any of your stuff lately though, because of computer problems. When I have the resources, I'll have to check your stuff out. Thanks again! User:Mrthejazz/sig 04:15, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
OH MY FUCKING GOD
TWIN PEAKS IS THE MOST BADASS SHOW EVER --++ 21:56, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
Get
...your hair cut and get a job, you hippy bastard. That is all. -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
- Taken in to account. But only if you stop caring about football and get an accent with less inflection on certain syllables, you limey wanker. That is all. Now how the hell have you been? -RAHB 00:16, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
- I'm fine thanks, and you? How are you side projects coming along? -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
- Doing well. Mostly working on music nowadays. Thinker and I have stopped working on comedy together, and I'm very close in the area of finding a job. Meanwhile I'm making plans to move up toward San Francisco area later in the year and try to perform on the local circuit. That or move to Minnesota and sell a line of potato salad hats. -RAHB 08:34, June 22, 2010 (UTC)
- I'm fine thanks, and you? How are you side projects coming along? -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
The UnSignpost Is Not Dead!
May contain traces of humor!
Jun 24th, 2010 • Issue 86 • Oh yeah, the UnSignpost, I remember that...
Conservation Week Approaches
Fancy watering Uncyclopedia's forestry? Want to be a good conservationist? Fancy taking up the rewriting sword of justice, and righteously smiting the dragon of shit writing? Actually, the hell with that, do you want to take a bunch of bad articles, and make them suck less? Then you, my friend, are in luck! Conservation Week 2010 starts on July 5th, and actively encourages users to scour the wiki (perhaps through judicious use of Special:Random, or possibly through exploration of Category:Rewrite or Category:Ideas or even Special:Lonelypages), find lame articles that they consider are taking up the very space which could be occupied by something less sucky, and then using their skill and judgement to turn those articles into shining examples of comedic writing. As this is a competition dedicated to simultaneously reducing the number of useless articles on the wiki and increasing the number of good ones, some naysayers believe it to be completely pointless - Uncyclopedia is the worst, they say, and no amount of well-intentioned competitions can change that. But were it to exist, the Cabal would probably beg to differ. They may call it something like "a genuinely good thing", and "a ray of hope, signalling that occasionally, even the most worthless dreck may be redeemed". So if you think what your userpage is missing is a template called the "Greasy Mechanic Award", then prepare to rewrite like you've never re-written before. Just don't forget to make your new version better than the original. Something summarizing the events of the last month or so It has been said by one of our esteemed administrators here at UnSignpost that if it wasn't reported in the UnSignpost, then it didn't happen. As there has been no UnSignpost produced for the last few days, due to one of the editors having a real life, and another one being lazy, there are several things that didn't happen. Yes, the loss of the UnSignpost for so long sent a shiver down the spines of many an Uncyclopedian. So much so that one member of the community decided that it was timely to look at a new way to produce the UnSignpost. One such idea was to release a monthly periodical in the place of USP. Although there has been several attempts by this reporter to obtain a quote from said insurrectional community member, to date no response has been heard. As part of the ongoing struggle to maintain our independent stance from Wikia, several members decided that it would be a wise idea to create a way to cash in on the popularity of the site. As such the UnShoppe has been created, where you may purchase any one of a number of Uncyclopedia-related pieces of merchandise. So far all purchases have been made by the individuals who created the store. However, if you are looking for the place to buy a shirt that shows that your nipples have been featured, that a wizard did something, whatever it was, and that you have an in-depth knowledge of who Dan Kwon is. There was a competition. Congratulations go to mrthejazz, who got the pun. Imperial Colonisation has taken a brief hiatus after the new head of IC became the old head of IC. He was an Australian, and his example has inspired the entire nation so much that the new head of Parliament for the country is now the old head of parliament. Congratulations go out to the new new head of IC. A strange bandwagon has been created by a drunken Bonner, who has challenged all and sundry to ask him anything at all. As such there are various forums dedicated to asking regular Uncyclopedian members things. These previously were known as user talk pages, but who can stand in the way of progress? And that's all that didn't happen. Although now it's listed in UnSignpost that means it actually did happen. Which suggests that by editing UnSignpost I have the power to change the past. If I could change anything about the past, what would it be? I had sex with a real person![1]
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UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox
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A new UnSignpost issue, another template spammed onto your talkpage, enjoy!
13:36, 24 June 2010Fantasy Football 2010
It's back! Go here. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:50, June 29, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks!!! <3
Love,
All the news that's unfit to print!
The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11
Jul 1st, 2010 • Issue 87 • More news than something with less news than us
Things getting boring on the wiki? Time to write at speed!
We're still waiting for that, but until it arrives, Skull's hour-long writing contest will do nicely. Shamelessly pinching Cajek's idea of time-limited writing competitions (which brought us such classics as HowTo:Sexually Stimulate an Ant, lest we forget), but putting his own distinct spin on it, Uncyc's own mad Doctor challenged Uncyclopedians to write an article in a single hour that would survive VFD. Given Uncyclopedia's well-known exacting quality standards, this promised to be a tough task, but a surprising number of people were up for it. And so it was that a frenzy erupted across the wiki, and baffled Europeans and other users not around at the time awoke the next day to a slew of brand new articles, not all of which ended up being deleted. They liked the idea so much, they held their own a couple of days later. When asked to comment on his brainchild, the commotion and excitement it had caused, and the size of his penis, Dr. Skullthumper exclusively told us "Sure. I'll get on that. I swear". Things getting boring on the wiki? Time to start pointless drama! Giant evil multinational wiki-hosting conglomerate Wikia won a major victory last month, when a rebellion by a small but dedicated band of anti-capitalist radicals was brutally put down by a bunch of fascistic Wikia-collaborators. Or at least, that's what happened in the heads of Carlb, Roye7777777 and CartoonistHenning after they nailed their anti-Wikia manifesto to the metaphorical door of Uncyclopedia's metaphorical Wittenberg Cathedral. The 1,000-word anti-Wikia tract, despite the shocking and previously unknown revelation that Wikia was not in fact the wiki-hosting charity that it claimed to be, but rather a commercial company, failed to ignite a spontaneous revolt against Wikia among the Uncyclopedia community. A heated and sexually-charge discussion ensued, with strong arguments offered by both sides. However, it seems that some people were unable to grasp the enormity of the revelation that Wikia's motives were less than altruistic. Eventually, the thread descended into an all-out flamewar and a waaaaaaaaaaaaaahmbulance was called to treat the injured. "We may have lost this round," Carlb told UnSignpost reporters "but it is only a temporary setback. One day, the tyranny of Wikia will be no more. Our revenge will be the laughter of our children." It is rumoured that Carlb, Roye7777777 and CartoonistHenning will employ Black Bloc tactics at the next Wikia conference in an attempt to escalate the struggle against Wikia oppression. |
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UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox |
--ChiefjusticeXBox 12:05, July 1, 2010 (UTC)
You thought I forgot?
Thanks for voting Socky Uncyclopedian of the Year | ||
Mere words cannot express my gratitude, so I'm giving you this beautiful spinning sock star as well. |
Thanks!
14:45, 1 July 2010Welcome to Uncyclopedia!
Signpost: normal service resumed
STOP... SIGNPOST TIME!!
Jul 8th, 2010 • Issue 88 • Hand-stitched for comfort
Conservation week: how's it going, and what is it anyway?
Conservation week has been running since autumn 2007, starting life in Jocke Pirat's userspace, and spending a confused few hours being called the rewrite-a-thon in an early attempt to get around the whole week-fortnight thing. The first iteration was a resounding success, and about 38 people signed up to rewrite over 50 articles (with Zombiebaron hilariously missing the point and going on a deletion spree instead), making the current iteration look like it has some work to do. However, there was no quality control at the outset - if an article was rewritten in any way, that was deemed good enough. Some of those early articles may well have been made worse, we just don't know (or can't be bothered to check). Quality control arrived later on, when erstwhile gentleman editor of this very organ Gerrycheevers stepped up to run the first 2009 CW, and ran the rule over all the rewrites personally, so that the attendant award was only bestowed on those doing quality rewrites. That task this year falls to Dexter111344, who has promised to be "harsh but harsh". Probably. So, with a prize on offer to the person with the most high quality rewrites, and plenty of time left in which to do said rewrites, the only question left is: "why haven't you entered yet"? We asked this question of one completely random user, and he exclusively told us "because I'm busy writing this week's issue of the UnSignpost, duh!" Image Request: A Retrospective
Established in March 2005 by a user called Machinecurse, this page has been the domain of most of the legends of Uncyc image manipulation at one time or another - as one 'chopper has left, another has arisen to take their place, in some kind of Potatochop Royal Succession stylee. Or something. Whatever, the likes of Paulgb, Zombiebaron, Seeker, Sonje and, more recently, KneeChee27 and MeepStarLives have slaved over hot image editing software to fulfil the esoteric image requirements of the Uncyclopedia populace. The response time has always varied on the page, as it largely depends on how active the 'choppers are at the time, how achievable the requests actually are, and how polite the request is. But for those with a little patience, it is undoubtedly a useful resource in the ongoing quest for that perfect image of Mario and Master Chief riding Pikachu down the Death Star Trench run. Or something. Have a look at the gallery to see some of the more recent work. |
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UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox |
Oh dear god, am I really doing this again? --UU - natter 10:48, Jul 9
Thanks, dude
Thanks for reverting my drivel page.And now, here's your punishment: AAAAAAA!. Sorry, but it's fate. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:00, July 15, 2010 (UTC)
- Heh, as much as I love your zaniness Zim, it was actually Andorin_Kato who reverted your page. I just banned the dude. -RAHB 00:09, July 15, 2010 (UTC)
Another UnSignpost! Rejoice!
Woop Woop! it's the sound of the Police UnSignpost!
Jul 15th, 2010 • Issue 89 • Made with 100% recycled vuvuzelas
The 40+ club expands
We asked them all for quotes, and Mhaille exclusively told us: ""Go eat more shit, fuckers"...obviously I am excited to have reached the BIG 4-0, and am delighted that enough of my peers deem the quality of my work good enough to have reached that figure, although I have to say I'm a little pissed that at least 10 other of my articles are feature-worthy and are constant overlooked (lengthy bans will ensue, I'm sure), I am equally as proud of my featured images, as well as many of my other contributions that I hope that my peers feel have augmented the work of others. That I am still here after five long years, and still contributing says something about Uncyclopedia itself. What that is, I wouldn't like to speculate. But sometimes you have to in order to accumulate. Apparently." Which is such a long quote we're going to need at least one blatant filler box in the right-hand panel. Bastard. Meanwhile, Modus exclusively told us "It's not that myself and Mhaille have written so very many great and fantastic pages that have, and will continue to, entertain the people for years to come. It's just that Mhaille did. "I" am one of his many sockpuppets. He writes as "Modusoperandi" when he needs a page without a "foreign" accent. Look around. There are a bunch more Mhaille sockpuppets here, too. Hyperbole, for one. Mhaille is like a wet Mogwai." Which is more concise, and therefore OK. Finally, Hype exclusively commented: "I'd like to say thank you to Uncyclopedia for voting to feature my many excellent, high-quality articles, including the drunken insistence that you accept a diseased poodle, the song about having sex with sporting goods, and the blatantly racist tirade about having to wait too long for a Pee Review. Writing 39.5 features has been literally the most important accomplishment I will ever have in my life. I look forward to continuing to service each and every one of you in the future." Which was nice of him. So, the burning question now has to be: who will be first to 50? Modus obviously has the lead, but Mhaille is writing in greater volume than he has for some time, and if Hype keeps up the pace, he's probably a good bet. But they're not the only candidates - Sog is coming up the rails rapidly, and could reach the 40 mark even quicker than Hype - could he overtake the lot of them? The only thing certain is that with these guys around, Uncyc should be assured of some half-decent articles amongst the dross. World Cup over - Romartus struggling for UnNews inspiration
The scourge of Junior Uncyclopedia has discovered his muse in the planet's biggest sporting event, and has been cranking out UnNews articles on the subject at an alarming rate. Now, without Jabulani balls, biting tackles and Messi long shots to inspire him, what is there to inspire him to maintain such prolific standards? Suspicions abound that the Tour De France is passing him by, he seems far too English to care about the various draft and transfer shenanigans in the NFL and NBA and the like, and as the only story to emerge from golf's Open Championship so far is Tiger Woods changing his putter (wow, someone hold me back), that seems unlikely to unleash his inner news-hound. With a worrying lack of global sporting tournaments on the horizon, will we have to wait another 4 years for the next Romartus article splurge? Stay tuned to UnNews to find out! |
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09:50, 16 July 2010
Read all about it! The UnSignpost rides again!
The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH
Jul 22nd, 2010 • Issue 90 • Suddenly, Signpost!
UnNews hits warp factor Whore
That bastard child of Uncyclopedia and WikiNews, UnNews, is in full-on whoring mode. Tired of being relegated to the bilge hold of Uncyc, staff have collectively and to a man, woman or it, decided to resort to the time-honored tradition of whoring themselves for attention. 2010 is shaping up to be a record year for lots of stuff, which I am too lazy to actually reference. We've had lots of cool coding happenings, resulting in a facelift to the Main Page, and a really cool navigation bar giving access to a plethora (well, 7 sections in fact) of sections including Sports, Comics, Editorials, and special coverage of the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Contributors to UnNews of note are Funnybony, SPIKE, Romartus, Modusoperandi, Mordillo, Multiliteralist, PuppyOnTheRadio, Happytimes, Matt lobster and MrN9000 (when the bugger's here). Apologies to anybody I've missed. The Newsroom, home to nefarious plots and odd ideas, has once again become an active core of resistance against Uncyc's unofficial policy of ignoring us. Always leading edge, UnNews is acquiring a stable of notable personalities for a new series of Uncolumns called "Reductio ad Hitlerum", a guest column that invites persons of note to do an article for us, usually under threat of blackmail. Discussion here, first RaH column here by guest Sarah Palin. Techno gets Mhaille'd
The award is, unusually on vote-happy Uncyclopedia, not decided on by voting, but is bestowed at the sole discretion of feature-monster, bureaucrat, whoring legend and token Liverpool fan Mhaille, according to his own criteria. Looking down the list of previous winners - Shandon, ENeGMA, Tompkins, Zombiebaron, Prettiestpretty, Savethemooses and the rest, it's pretty clear that the good Rabbi is a) in good company, and b) not going to be here much longer. |
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--ChiefjusticeXBox 13:47, July 22, 2010 (UTC)
Lol
I saw you blocked me for 5 days, and I was like "Oh crap". You kinda scared me a little. :P Thanks for shortening it- my life would kinda be empty without this place, as I have nothing better to do all summer.--On Saturday, 03:37, July 24 2010 UTC
- I could've sworn this was TKF's talk page...--On Saturday, 03:59, July 24 2010 UTC
- We get our curtains from the same furniture store. -RAHB 08:35, July 25, 2010 (UTC)
- But do they match the drapes? -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
- We get our curtains from the same furniture store. -RAHB 08:35, July 25, 2010 (UTC)
Mister Penis
I don't know if you still use the same email, but I've send you a message. Did you get it? ~ 07:41, July 29, 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks for letting me know, I never check it for some reason (got to get some sort of widget or something, grumble). I'll be shooting a response your way in a minute. -RAHB 07:47, July 29, 2010 (UTC)
Question
When I do find a page on Special:NewPages that is low quality, what should I do next?--If you're 555 then I'm 18:10, July 29, 2010 (UTC)
- List it on the QVFD, under the most recent header. Then it will be BURNED! -RAHB 23:51, July 29, 2010 (UTC)
- (Or alternatively, burninated.) ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* ~ ~ 30 Jul 2010 ~ 04:37 (UTC)
ICU
You put my article Just Shank 'em! in ICU, but it's done and it's not supposed to have links and stuff...it's meant to be a cheesy song that short...i guess you don't like it or something :(...I'll be in a corner...alone...upset...with this nudey pen...and some tissues...--Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 23:44, July 29, 2010 (UTC)
- Lol, nudey pen. I'll take the ICU off, but you should probably move it to UnPoetia. Or something like that. -RAHB 23:50, July 29, 2010 (UTC)
Unused pics
Hi, and thanks by the way. Please be selective with the unused images, I go in there quite a bit to both use pics and to place pics on other pages. And many of them are actually used on pages but they are listed there for some reason. Be kind to the unused. Aleister 3:35 30 7
- Yeah, I'm making sure to look through the "links to" list on each of them. I'm only deleting the ones that are very generic, easily replaceable, or ones that I know we have duplicates of elsewhere on the site. Thanks for the concern. -RAHB 03:38, July 30, 2010 (UTC)
- Ah, I should have trusted. Time to log off, and find a bit of food lying around the floor after the dog has rejected it. Then I'll fight the war on drugs for awhile. Cheers.Aleister 3:43 30 7
- You're almost as bonkers as I am. Sexy. -RAHB 03:46, July 30, 2010 (UTC)
- You're both almost a sexy as I am. Bonkers! ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* ~ ~ 30 Jul 2010 ~ 05:09 (UTC)
- Well none of you are even close to my sexiness, so i win. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 05:11, July 30, 2010 (UTC)
- I can whistle Dixie out of my nose if adequately congested. 05:46, July 30, 2010 (UTC)
- Well none of you are even close to my sexiness, so i win. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 05:11, July 30, 2010 (UTC)
- You're both almost a sexy as I am. Bonkers! ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* ~ ~ 30 Jul 2010 ~ 05:09 (UTC)
- You're almost as bonkers as I am. Sexy. -RAHB 03:46, July 30, 2010 (UTC)
- Ah, I should have trusted. Time to log off, and find a bit of food lying around the floor after the dog has rejected it. Then I'll fight the war on drugs for awhile. Cheers.Aleister 3:43 30 7
Thanks alot! Always appreciate your support of my funny!
User:Mrthejazz/templatedrunkennarrator
That "Football" thing
If I've got it right, it's your pick. And I've already started building the team that will prop up the table all season. Yeah. --UU - natter 09:36, Aug 2
Contest Today
Happymonkey called for a writing contest which will start at 2:00 UTC (10 p.m. eastern time in the United States and other weird countries). Contestents will give each other an exact name of an article at app. 9:59 eastern time, and then we will write until 11:15 (3:15 UTC). We need at least one judge who will look at all the articles, say nay, or yay, or something, and tell us whatever they want to. Please sign up on Happymonkeys talk page, as participant or judge(s), and then we can pair people up around 9:30 eastern and let them know who they will give their page title to. (Inspired by DrSkullthumper's contest of a month or so ago). Aleister
It's Your Turn, Mr. Penis
Just dropping by to let you know that it's your turn in the draft, just in case you missed UU's message. So, um, yeah. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 20:03, August 2, 2010 (UTC)
- Woop, sorry about that. I didn't have the draft forum watched yet. I'll be making my pick within the next couple minutes. -RAHB 22:44, August 2, 2010 (UTC)
I remember you...
Following me home. Taking those pictures. Getting a restraining order? Remember all that fun? On another note, here's an official hi. It appears I'm sorta back. What exactly does your username stand for? - [13:14 4 August 2010] The•
- It stands for "Roooooooooooooooooob!" Which is how I say it. I wonder whether the restraining order is still in effect after your absence... -RAHB 15:35, August 4, 2010 (UTC)
- I dunno, I'll have to ask the judge, I guess. And, funny, I've always pronounced your name "rar-b". But I believe this conversation has already been had, some time ago? About how you pronounce users' names. For the record, I pronounce Cajek as "Cah-jeck". Really Awesome Hymen Butcher. Equally, Racist And Hedonistic, Bitch. Raped A Horse Before? I hope you're not following my blatherings. - [18:11 4 August 2010] The•
- Rape And Homophobic Beatings. -RAHB 03:55, August 5, 2010 (UTC)
- Really? I pronounced it "R-A-H-B", like it stood for something. I feel so wrong. (FOr the record, I say "Cay-jeck")--HM (T) 04:36, August 5, 2010 (UTC)
- Eh, everybody thinks that. The caps are for yelling though. RAAAAAHBBB!!! That's what people used to say. Then I had to sign up for this Uncyclopedia thing and said "fuck it. That's a good one." All stems from the simple one syllable anglo name Rob. Boring perhaps, but you were perplexed by the possibilities of what it could possibly stand for, I'm sure. So in some silly way, I win. -RAHB 05:52, August 5, 2010 (UTC)
- You don't just win, you own us now RAHB. And I guess then, I'm sorta pronouncing it right? I'm pronouncing in a British accent but I suppose that sorta comes out as "Rob" in a thick American drawl. Rar-b. - [11:26 5 August 2010] The•
- Eh, everybody thinks that. The caps are for yelling though. RAAAAAHBBB!!! That's what people used to say. Then I had to sign up for this Uncyclopedia thing and said "fuck it. That's a good one." All stems from the simple one syllable anglo name Rob. Boring perhaps, but you were perplexed by the possibilities of what it could possibly stand for, I'm sure. So in some silly way, I win. -RAHB 05:52, August 5, 2010 (UTC)
- Really? I pronounced it "R-A-H-B", like it stood for something. I feel so wrong. (FOr the record, I say "Cay-jeck")--HM (T) 04:36, August 5, 2010 (UTC)
- Rape And Homophobic Beatings. -RAHB 03:55, August 5, 2010 (UTC)
- I dunno, I'll have to ask the judge, I guess. And, funny, I've always pronounced your name "rar-b". But I believe this conversation has already been had, some time ago? About how you pronounce users' names. For the record, I pronounce Cajek as "Cah-jeck". Really Awesome Hymen Butcher. Equally, Racist And Hedonistic, Bitch. Raped A Horse Before? I hope you're not following my blatherings. - [18:11 4 August 2010] The•
It's new and it's news! It's the latest UnSignpost!
The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!
Aug 5th, 2010 • Issue 91 • I love it when the news comes together
VFD minimum time limit introduced
Further to that, the minimum score required for deletion is in the process of being clarified, so that either a score of at least +5 in favour of deletion will be required before the trigger-happy admins fire up their huffing devices, or 5 keep votes will automatically exempt an article from deletion. One of those. Probably. The number 5 seems certain to be involved, whatever the outcome. Hopefully, this will ensure that BUTT POOP is never deleted again. At least, such is our understanding. Sorry about that. We will now follow this with an article with no relation to news whatsoever, to try and make it up to you. Uncyc Fantasy Football draft off to racing start
So far, the results have surpassed the expectations of all except noted optimist Bradaphraser. Three days in, and seven of the record fourteen competitors have picked a single player each, making this the slowest process since BP started trying to cap that goddamn oil leak. This year's competition promises to be more open than the last, including as it does Joe9320, who admits to knowing nothing about the sport, preferring AFL, and noted British namby-pamby "soccer" fan UU, who has somehow agreed to become an Indianapolis Colts fan for the duration of the season. Hence his adding a picture of what he is assured is the awesome Peyton Manning into this very article. With the likes of the here-one-week-gone-for-a-month Gerrycheevers also involved in the process, it could well end up taking long enough to be ready by the start of the 2011-12 season. |
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UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox |
15:43, 5 August 2010
It's your turn
Football!--<<>> 14:07, August 8, 2010 (UTC)
- Yeah, it seems when you've had your turn, you're supposed to tell the next guy it's theirs. So I just had my go, so here I am, telling you. The guy who was supposed to tell me, whoever that was, didn't. Anyway, it's your go, in case that wasn't clear. --UU - natter 08:50, Aug 9
- Balls. I thought the football fairy was the one doing it. -RAHB 09:01, August 9, 2010 (UTC)
- Well, when you've finished snickering at my ill-informed choices, you may unveil the next stage in your tactical masterplan. ---UU - natter 09:03, Aug 9
- All of our choices are ill-informed. That's why it isn't our job to do this sort of thing. Regardless of that, I will crush you all and suck the living blood right out of your hearts. -RAHB 09:11, August 9, 2010 (UTC)
- UU, you're playing an American football game? I'm disgusted with you. —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [11:56 9 August 2010]
- It's part of a plan to see how random, un-informed choices fare against people who think they know what they're doing. Plus, it seemed like fun. And I'm learning. I already know that RB doesn't just stand for right back... --UU - natter 12:16, Aug 9
- Oh? What does it stand for then?! —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [13:17 9 August 2010]
- Reginald Buck. He was a well-known deep-field filleter for the Sacramento Macho Names back in the '70s who bevelled a record 147 jar pouches in one season, and an entire position on the field is now known by his initials in his honour. Or "honor", as I should say, given my new transatlantic knowledge. --UU - natter 13:44, Aug 9
- Jeese. I like have no idea what language you're talking...I believe they call it American. You've become one of them! —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [13:49 9 August 2010]
- Reginald Buck. He was a well-known deep-field filleter for the Sacramento Macho Names back in the '70s who bevelled a record 147 jar pouches in one season, and an entire position on the field is now known by his initials in his honour. Or "honor", as I should say, given my new transatlantic knowledge. --UU - natter 13:44, Aug 9
- Oh? What does it stand for then?! —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [13:17 9 August 2010]
- It's part of a plan to see how random, un-informed choices fare against people who think they know what they're doing. Plus, it seemed like fun. And I'm learning. I already know that RB doesn't just stand for right back... --UU - natter 12:16, Aug 9
- UU, you're playing an American football game? I'm disgusted with you. —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [11:56 9 August 2010]
- All of our choices are ill-informed. That's why it isn't our job to do this sort of thing. Regardless of that, I will crush you all and suck the living blood right out of your hearts. -RAHB 09:11, August 9, 2010 (UTC)
- Well, when you've finished snickering at my ill-informed choices, you may unveil the next stage in your tactical masterplan. ---UU - natter 09:03, Aug 9
- Balls. I thought the football fairy was the one doing it. -RAHB 09:01, August 9, 2010 (UTC)
'Tis your turn to pick players playing positions you've never heard of on teams you are uncertain exist.--<<>> 12:22, August 11, 2010 (UTC)
Serious question
What does your name stand for, anyway? Rape And Happy Birthday?--<<>> 21:29, August 12, 2010 (UTC)
- Wow, I really wish it did. That's the best one I've heard yet. It's just something internet text people used to call me back in high school. "Rahb" sounds like "Rob", and if you put it in caps, it makes it LOUD! -RAHB 03:35, August 13, 2010 (UTC)
Poke
I got home and want to talk about "Frank Zappa's penis." Get on Skype! Love,
- Hold on while I wipe a tear of joy away at the fact you'd like to talk about a subject so dear to my heart.....okay, that's done with. TO THE SKYPE-MOBILE! -RAHB 04:37, August 16, 2010 (UTC)
Do your thang
Yer up again. I doubt I'll have picked anyone you give a shit about. --UU - natter 08:51, Aug 16
- I was wondering whether to choose Braylon Edwards, or that guy with the awesome name you picked. So you've effectively made my decision for me. Thank you. -RAHB 08:52, August 16, 2010 (UTC)
- I have to say, names is one area that your football pisses all over mine. We get Wayne Rooney and John Terry, you get Drew Bees, that guy whose name I'm never gonna type again, and many more. You win. Incidentally, I note I'm still the only one with a kicker. Is kicking that small a part of the game? ;-) --UU - natter 09:01, Aug 16
- It sort of goes by a game to game basis. The idea is that kicking is the last resort in a football team's offense. You get four downs per ten yards, and if you don't convert past the ten yard mark on your fourth down, the other team gets the ball. So if you don't think you're going to convert your fourth down, and you're close enough to the goal posts to make a field goal, it's usually a better strategy to take the three points for the kick (a touchdown being worth six), rather than turn the ball over and not have anything to show for that drive. It's a very important part of the game from a strategy standpoint, but the way the fantasy points are set up, a kicker isn't usually going to make the biggest difference in any given week. In the actual live sport, however, kicking can strongly influence the game. A number of games come down to a one or two point deficit with very little time remaining, and a kick in the last few seconds can win it all. There's also uses for kicking that don't involve actually scoring, such as every quarter begins with a kickoff to the team who is supposed to start that quarter with the ball, and that on fourth downs where your team probably isn't close enough for a field goal, a punt is usually executed, which involves free-kicking the ball in the opposite way to try to start the opposing team's next drive as far from the goal line as possible. How good your kicker is can greatly influence the field position of the opposing team, and ultimately dictate the flow of the game. But when playing fantasy football, these factors aren't normally included because their affect on the game is abstract and very hard to quantify. The other thing with fantasy football is that even if you have the best kicker in the league, he may be a member of a team that is either very bad offensively, or so good that whenever they get close to the goal line, they usually score a touchdown and there's no need for the kicker (although after every touchdown there is a short kick for an extra point, so that can also factor in, because every touchdown gives the kicker another chance to score for their team). Then there's the whole onside kick thing, and that's basically when you kick the ball short on a kickoff with the intent of your own team recovering in order to nab yourself another possession. Overall I have no idea why we named the sport "football". I think it was some sort of spiteful gesture towards the British or something, because we were so proud of inventing our own sport. I'd really name it something more like American Rugby. -RAHB 09:34, August 16, 2010 (UTC)
- I think that is the single most helpful and comprehensive reply I've ever had to a question on Uncyclopedia. Thank you. Are you sure you're feeling alright? --UU - natter 09:39, Aug 16
- That is a wonderful analysis of the kicking game. It is vaguely reminiscent of my many explanations of the game. I think you could have an article there. We could call it handegg.--<<>> 11:23, August 16, 2010 (UTC)
- Handegg, yes, that's the one. Of course football is about being Manly Men Manliness Manly Men Man Eating Frozen Beer And Hitting Crossing Guards With Fallen Trees Man Men, so a name like "handegg" makes the players feel like their testicles are the size they actually are. It's not a coincidence that Americans chose a landmass that has a giant dick hanging off of it. -RAHB 21:50, August 16, 2010 (UTC)
- It sort of goes by a game to game basis. The idea is that kicking is the last resort in a football team's offense. You get four downs per ten yards, and if you don't convert past the ten yard mark on your fourth down, the other team gets the ball. So if you don't think you're going to convert your fourth down, and you're close enough to the goal posts to make a field goal, it's usually a better strategy to take the three points for the kick (a touchdown being worth six), rather than turn the ball over and not have anything to show for that drive. It's a very important part of the game from a strategy standpoint, but the way the fantasy points are set up, a kicker isn't usually going to make the biggest difference in any given week. In the actual live sport, however, kicking can strongly influence the game. A number of games come down to a one or two point deficit with very little time remaining, and a kick in the last few seconds can win it all. There's also uses for kicking that don't involve actually scoring, such as every quarter begins with a kickoff to the team who is supposed to start that quarter with the ball, and that on fourth downs where your team probably isn't close enough for a field goal, a punt is usually executed, which involves free-kicking the ball in the opposite way to try to start the opposing team's next drive as far from the goal line as possible. How good your kicker is can greatly influence the field position of the opposing team, and ultimately dictate the flow of the game. But when playing fantasy football, these factors aren't normally included because their affect on the game is abstract and very hard to quantify. The other thing with fantasy football is that even if you have the best kicker in the league, he may be a member of a team that is either very bad offensively, or so good that whenever they get close to the goal line, they usually score a touchdown and there's no need for the kicker (although after every touchdown there is a short kick for an extra point, so that can also factor in, because every touchdown gives the kicker another chance to score for their team). Then there's the whole onside kick thing, and that's basically when you kick the ball short on a kickoff with the intent of your own team recovering in order to nab yourself another possession. Overall I have no idea why we named the sport "football". I think it was some sort of spiteful gesture towards the British or something, because we were so proud of inventing our own sport. I'd really name it something more like American Rugby. -RAHB 09:34, August 16, 2010 (UTC)
- I have to say, names is one area that your football pisses all over mine. We get Wayne Rooney and John Terry, you get Drew Bees, that guy whose name I'm never gonna type again, and many more. You win. Incidentally, I note I'm still the only one with a kicker. Is kicking that small a part of the game? ;-) --UU - natter 09:01, Aug 16
- GO!--<<>> 22:00, August 19, 2010 (UTC)
I made the league
It's on Yahoo!. Here are some important things to know:
- League ID: 512953
- Custom League URL: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/league/uncyclopedia_2010
- Password: guildy
—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:33, August 19, 2010 (UTC)
Ruddy hell! It's the UnSignpost
Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!
Aug 19thish, 2010 • Issue 92 • Does anyone actually read this bit?
UnReviews - get involved!
So how can YOU help? Well, we would have thought that was obvious, to be honest, but as we're dealing with Uncyclopedians here, we'll make it a little clearer: write an UnReview! You could go down the road of Modus's magnum opus UnMovie Review: The Dark Knight, and make a movie review, you could get all cultured on our asses, and go Shakespearian, or you could review something else entirely. The choice is, quite literally, yours! Something helpful this way comes
TKF has already started the ball rolling with a challenging audio request which is likely to be an early acid test for the project. If you have a Casio keyboard and some decent audio skills, get across there and get this thing working! So, how can you get involved? Well, if you are skilled at adding awesome to pages in some way, watchlist the page, check it regularly, and stop hogging your wiki-fu to yourself! If you are in need of added awesomeness on your page, pop in a request and see what happens. If nothing else, it'll make Meep feel good about himself, and that's what it's all about, when you get right down to it. Right? |
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UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox |
--ChiefjusticeXBox 11:51, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
Vote4This
Vote for HowTo:Kill Yourself In Just 5 Minutes! Here's the link:
DO IT NOW! Reply.
--AchmedTheDeadTerrorist 13:26, August 20, 2010 (UTC)User:AchmedTheDeadTerrorist
- Please do not whore to me. If I find your article and think it is funny, I will vote for it. I don't need your self-promotion here, and it's not going to make me want to vote for your article anymore. Also, Jeff Dunham isn't funny. -RAHB 04:05, August 21, 2010 (UTC)
- I'm surprised he hasn't been banned yet... —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [10:39 21 August 2010]
goretti
- what was wrong with goretti the campanologist ? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Phrage (talk • contribs)
Partially what is wrong with this talk page message. There's absolutely no reason to put a million spaces in between everything, and there is reason to use proper capitalization. The other issue with the article was that it was very short, was almost identical to the Wikipedia page, had no humor, made no attempt to describe what was going on, and made no attempt at any jokes. In the future, please sign your talk page messages with four tildes (~~~~) and don't put any spaces between the margin and your statement (for an example, click the edit button and view this message that I'm leaving. Notice how I do both of those things that I just said and it looks nice and tidy). You can try the article again and put a construction tag on it if you'd like, but you'll need to expand it beyond what it was, and add some funny. -RAHB 09:17, August 21, 2010 (UTC)
```` wear a hat when you stalk to me in future I FiNd imProper capitalization more Washington -your knowledge of Irish humour and irish politics could be stored on a dust that'S all she mote ```` take a million paces back and fall over a tall stiff ```` you one eyed man-bug from UnCleotopaedophilia no wait bug eyed cyclops from Unbicylefeedy ya oh tish pooey 1111 Phrage 10:31, August 21, 2010 (UTC) can you put the article back and i will stick up a construction sign and go to work to make it longer and phuck you with it ? Phrage 10:35, August 21, 2010 (UTC)
- You have to prove yourself to have a grasp of the English language before you can go rewriting its rules. I wish I understood any of what you said, but your lack of capitalisation, punctuation, grammar somewhat got in the way. And if you're lucky, you might get your article restored to your userspace... —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [10:36 21 August 2010]
- And yes *cough* I shouldn't be here, this isn't my talkpage.... —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [10:38 21 August 2010]
Your own grammar is at fault in the imperious and anti-Joycean decree above. I wish you understood too, but wishing ain't fisting and your anal approach to language makes you walk funny. Are you a leading light of the John Birch Society ? If so then what are you doing on a parody site ? Read up on inverted commas and transitive and intransitive verbs and keep up those sphincter spasm avoidance exercises.
- Alright, yes yes, you're Irish or something. I get it. You're still not funny, you're just ridiculous. Regardless here's your article in userspace. Don't choke on it. -RAHB 20:30, August 21, 2010 (UTC)
- The point of grammar is to make sentences easier to understand for the reader. There's no point in having grammar and punctuation that you can't understand. I mean you're welcome to speak Gobbledegook but no one will understand you. "wear a hat when you stalk to me"? Also, "your knowledge of Irish humour and irish politics could be stored on a dust that'S all she mote"? I think that it is especially important that you are understood when you are insulting someone, otherwise what's the point? It seems to me like you're being smart for the sake of being smart. In fact the way you're using grammar and insulting people seems contrived and look-at-me-I'm-clever. —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [20:50 21 August 2010]
- riverrun and whatnot etc etc etc etc. Sir MacMania GUN—[20:54 21 Aug 2010] PS also Joyce was better and more bearable when he made sense and didn't try all of these extravagant orthographical experiments and didn't loop back to the beginning only to start with silly words like
- Indeed. —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [20:55 21 August 2010]
- riverrun and whatnot etc etc etc etc. Sir MacMania GUN—[20:54 21 Aug 2010] PS also Joyce was better and more bearable when he made sense and didn't try all of these extravagant orthographical experiments and didn't loop back to the beginning only to start with silly words like
- The point of grammar is to make sentences easier to understand for the reader. There's no point in having grammar and punctuation that you can't understand. I mean you're welcome to speak Gobbledegook but no one will understand you. "wear a hat when you stalk to me"? Also, "your knowledge of Irish humour and irish politics could be stored on a dust that'S all she mote"? I think that it is especially important that you are understood when you are insulting someone, otherwise what's the point? It seems to me like you're being smart for the sake of being smart. In fact the way you're using grammar and insulting people seems contrived and look-at-me-I'm-clever. —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [20:50 21 August 2010]
- Also, are you a leading light of the James Joyce society? If so, I apologise, but you've lost us. Sir MacMania GUN—[20:58 21 Aug 2010]
- Would it not be trailing light or something? Or looping light? Or `light`leading`? —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [21:00 21 August 2010]
YesTimeToEdit -all language is contrived and a performance even that of pompous and mistaken editors such as yourself> The Captain Kirk entry contains thousands of commas as a brilliant comment on Shatner's delayed speech acting style -are you going to rush off with your ruler and your pencil skirt and try to change that? I think you need a time machine to go back to be Sub Editor in charge of Grammar on the 1951 London Times. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Phrage (talk • contribs)
- Not all language is contrived. And, ironically, you are the pompous one, to appear from nowhere and claim that your usage of the English language is so superior to mine. 1950s? I don't know what world you're living in, I'm simply going about my business, using the currently accepted language. I don't see the point in using statement grammar. I didn't understand it and so your grammar failed in its primary objective. As for pencil skirt? Erm? I am a "Mister" and so - at least in my understanding of English - a man. As a man I am not particularly fond of wearing skirts. You seem to me like a Joyce fanboy, who is obsessed and idealises the writer. Of course his work is very interesting, but it's not exactly appropriate in this setting, is it? Your use of such abnormal English seems similar to name dropping. Congratulations, you've read 300 pages of Joyce, or whatever. Unless you want to simply talk to yourself, you've got to understand that here - Uncyclopedia, over the internet - we have to be able to understand each other. I don't write in beautiful flowing descriptive language, because I'm not writing a novel, and I don't write with lots of jargon because I'm not writing some technical manual. £10.50 could be written as /10/50£, but it isn't, because that's wrong. It's wrong because no one else does it. It's all very well being individual and standing out, but the equivalent of "/10/50£", in grammar terms, means nothing to me. Now, can you stop your childish and rather awkward insults before some poor soul finds this conversations, mistakes it for something they might want to read, reads it and looses their sense of humour, permanently. Grammar is grammar is grammar. Boobs would be a far more interesting topic. Why don't you go read that, actually? Tell me if it's funny. Comment on how you like the grammar. Oh, and as you don't know me, I'd rather you didn't make assumptions about my character. Alternatively you can call me a grammar Nazi and liken me to Hitler and such like and probably make my day. That is all, dear sir. Actually, I lie, P.S. Penis. —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [22:03 21 August 2010]
- Try and tell me that that Captain Kirk entry doesn't annoy you. AAAA, AA AAAA AAAAA, AAA AAAAAAA'A AAAA AAA AAAAAAAA AA A AAAAAAAAAAAA AA AAA AAAA AAAA. AAAA, A'A AA A AAAA AA AAAA. Your pseudo-Joycean grammar/orthography might suit an entry on Finnegans Wake, but when people discuss things they tend to want their message unobscured.
- Also, Godwin's Law, YTTE, and the conversation's over. Sir MacMania GUN—[22:08 21 Aug 2010]
- Yurp, Godwin's Law! —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [22:14 21 August 2010]
- If you want people to help you, Phrage, you could try not being a dick. It helps.--HM (T) 23:35, August 21, 2010 (UTC)
Boobs? Penis? Nazis? And you think others are childish Um Ok. Dicks ? Does that law not say the mentioner of the Nazis has lost the argument ? Oh never mind Phrage 23:44, August 21, 2010 (UTC)
- That right there is exactly what I'm referring to! Don't be so rude. This fight helps no one.--HM (T) 23:48, August 21, 2010 (UTC)
- Godiwn's Law does state that the first person to make references looses. I've lost. And i'm throwing a Loosing Party. Phrage, your superior grammar and argumentative skills triumphed! Now, you're invited to my Loosing Party. There shall be boobs and dicks, whichever you prefer. There shall also be Nazis. But, I'm afraid to say, there will be lots of commas, speech marks, full stops and question marks. Helpme, you're invited too. —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [23:50 21 August 2010]
Shame you are only semi-retired you pompous patronizing pufter -who asked you to butt in your tuppence worth ? go find someone else to go anal on Phrage 23:55, August 21, 2010 (UTC)
- You're a cute one, aren't you? You just hate everybody and are ready to throw insults at said number of bodies for the slightest of comments. —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [23:59 21 August 2010]
- As a matter of fact, I am gay, so saying that to me is like saying to a straight guy "Go have sex with a woman". Nobody asked me to butt in- but nobody asked you to be an ass. Or asked you to violate both of Uncyclopedia's rules]. You can't tell me what to do. I'll make a point wherever I feel it's needed whether you approve or not. Get over yourself or get out.--HM (T) 23:59, August 21, 2010 (UTC)
For someone who writes beseechingly about the evils of cabals you seem to still get your kicks out of running with the other nuns here -the stated aims of this site are humour and parody not chiding while hiding. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Phrage (talk • contribs)
- Perhaps you should look into situations before passing judgement on other's responses to said situations. Although, I'm sure you can't exert that much effort. Besides, it might make you intelligent. Now that would be weird.--HM (T) 02:43, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- Seriously, have you just memorised a whole load of insults? I think you should stop spewing them everywhere, you're embarrassing yourself and cluttering the page. And HELPME: Correction, he has violated all three. Do you see him dancing? I don't. —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [00:03 22 August 2010]
Gays are often witty -(some of my best friends are fags) and i can appreciate a waspish bon mot as well as the next guy but the anal I am referring to is mental and exhibited thankfully by very few. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Phrage (talk • contribs)
- You say YTTE's lost from Godwin's Law? Where's your Godwin's Law now? (see the edit summary) Sir MacMania GUN—[00:07 22 Aug 2010]
- I did not notice that. Hah. I guess I'll have to call off the Loosing Party. —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [00:11 22 August 2010]
Collectively you are acting as tiresomely as last years veterans in a summer camp ragging on the new guy.Phrage 00:08, August 22, 2010 (UTC)Go write something funny ! What's the last thing any of you wrote that merits a giggle ?Phrage 00:08, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- Again with your contrived insults! I understand that you are trying to sound more intelligent than you actually are, but by continually spewing far too lengthy abuse, with too many adjectives, you sound - frankly - stupid. —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [00:11 22 August 2010]
- YTTE wrote Why?:I'm In court, Mum and I wrote UnScripts:Good Cop Inanimate Cop both not too long ago. Sir MacMania GUN—[00:12 22 Aug 2010]
- Mac, you whore! And I have no idea why "court" is not capitalised. —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [00:18 22 August 2010]
- YTTE wrote Why?:I'm In court, Mum and I wrote UnScripts:Good Cop Inanimate Cop both not too long ago. Sir MacMania GUN—[00:12 22 Aug 2010]
too many adjectives ! hahaha i used one: "funny" -which is supposed to be the purpose of this site -one that seems to have eluded you girls. Greenwald trumps Godwin but you guys are more Grizzwald or even Jizzwald. Phrage 00:21, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- "Collectively you are acting as tiresomely as last years veterans in a summer camp ragging on the new guy". I don't see "funny" anywhere (either the word or the meaning of the word). I assume you mean "last years' "? My suspicion is that you can't string a vaguely coherent sentence together and so justify that with "modernism" and the like. This argument is at least keeping me entertained, I suppose. So, play on! But, please, please, could you not at least try to make your insults less generic? Less like you're trying to sound clever? I mean while you're at it, you might as well have a go at my mum, no? —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [00:28 22 August 2010]
A child rape and a story about Lego being from Denmark ; perhaps I was being too obscure for you again :Phrage 00:32, August 22, 2010 (UTC) I asked when did you last write something funny ?
- Didn't you know that child rape is sexy? Just so you know, Phrage, I've decided that your level of asshattery no longer deserves serious responses. As such LOL EAT COCK! Etc. —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [00:37 22 August 2010]
I thought this site was supposed to attract the witty and observant -the"Collectively" entry you are referring to, which saddened you with too many adjectives has no adjectives But I am not a cruel man - I suspect your neighbourhood community school may run a remedial special ed grammar class for slow adults - you might even get a free travel pass to attend. Phrage 00:39, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
Unless you count new and summer -should I explain them to you Phrage 00:44, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- "Collectively" entry? New and summer? I don't know what you are talking about. I'm referring to this here conversation. What you said here. And see, we all like profanity and porn at Uncyclopedia. I just can't get enough, personally. I like your subtle use of irony in suggesting that I need grammar classes. Do you think I could trade my free travel pass in for BOOBIES? —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [00:45 22 August 2010]
"asshattery" -how very Joycean ! but be careful -confederacies of dunces gather here very quickly to smother any words they find too flashy or non conformist Phrage 00:47, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
are you all hummericans ? is it 'cos I is from yurrup ? we presume that because there is some overlap that we speak the same language but here is evidence to the contrary apart from twain and bill bryson there is a lot more prairie than priory, it's ok --i understand now, it be a colonies thing.Phrage 00:56, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
Did they all go for cheeseeburgers at once ?Phrage 00:58, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- I think he's going with the "sound like a rambling idiot" strategy, now.--HM (T) 02:45, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
May I just say at this point that I am terribly sorry that this massive conversation was carried out without its host. Deepest apologies. Sir MacMania GUN—[02:46 22 Aug 2010]
Oh God a Brit, a rambling hillwalker who talks in the third person, and a Yank who 'wants to be something else but it's a secret' -who are these people ?
even the guy shoving Lego into a nine year old rectum had some chutzpah – Preceding unsigned comment added by Phrage (talk • contribs)
- I'm an expatriate—wasn't even born in the States. It's been shown that I speak Correct English and East Asian languages (well, only one fluently). Perhaps that should convince you I'm not a "Yank" ... Sir MacMania GUN—[03:39 22 Aug 2010]
Let me make this very clear. The next time I see an argument of any sort like this going on on my talk page, especially one this unbelievably idiotic, I'm going to ban the lot of its contributors for an undisclosed period of time. I'm not wearing my angry hat, but I'm wearing my "what the fuck are you doing?" hat. This is my talk page, and I don't like to be associated with this sort of pointless bickering, about nationality, language, what people's perceptions of humor and good art are. Take this sort of shit to your own talk pages or to a forum, or better yet, meet up in person and hash it the hell out. I realize that in this particular instance, things slipped out of control fast (probably), and I would have stopped this sort of thing had I been here at all while it was going on. I also realize that this Phrage fellow is not the sharpest tack in the drawer. I'm not angry at anyone, I'm not going to ban anyone, but I want to make it perfectly known that I do not want myself and my talk page associated with this type of discussion, a directionless flame-torrent that is hardly even coherent, has ended in no sort of progress whatsoever, and ropes me in by association. Phrage, you were being a bit of a dick. However, Yettie and Mac (who I've never actually had the pleasure of talking to. Pleased to meet you, sir) egged Phrage on far more than necessary, and while all that may be fine, I simply don't like that sort of thing going on on this page. I've restored the article and that should be the end of this.
Glad to see you gentlemen. Stop in any time for a buttered scone or some such. Though you'll have to show up early to tell me exactly what a scone looks like so I can pick them up at the grocery. -RAHB 05:57, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- lol wtf is going on --Roman Dog Bird 06:04, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- Is there not a site like that ? with funny words and a jigsaw potato as its emblem ? called Uncle Cyclops or Recycled Paedophiles or some such ?
- Uncle Cyclops! Hahahahahah! -RAHB 08:12, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- Uh, yeah, sorry, thought this was getting a bit long. Do you want this whole conversation moved to the article talk page or something? Because as you said, er, this is your talk page. Sir MacMania GUN—[13:53 22 Aug 2010]
- Nah, don't worry about it. I actually got a little out of hand in my message myself, I was just sort of overcome when I saw this. I'm not actually going to ban anyone for posting on my talk page. And what happens on a talk page is the history of that page, so it's fine, I'll leave it here. Sorry if I scared anyone. -RAHB 19:49, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- *emerges from behind the sofa, trembling* Uh...uhhh...I think I may have er made a mess of your carpet. It's just you were pretty scary... —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [20:03 22 August 2010]
- ON MY TALK PAGE?! CLEAN IT UP OR I'LL BAN EVERYONE! -RAHB 20:06, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- Is it wrong that I'm aroused? *goes to get the mop* —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [20:08 22 August 2010]
- I have to say something nice to make myself look less bad...uh..uh....I love you.--HM (T) 20:07, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- You all are commanded to be aroused. You're all masochists, of course? -RAHB 20:12, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- Naturally. And helpme, how about a love cookie? Express your love in cookie finery! For only €19.19! Buy now or regret opportunity for whole life! —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [21:29 22 August 2010]
- You all are commanded to be aroused. You're all masochists, of course? -RAHB 20:12, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- ON MY TALK PAGE?! CLEAN IT UP OR I'LL BAN EVERYONE! -RAHB 20:06, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- *emerges from behind the sofa, trembling* Uh...uhhh...I think I may have er made a mess of your carpet. It's just you were pretty scary... —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [20:03 22 August 2010]
- Nah, don't worry about it. I actually got a little out of hand in my message myself, I was just sort of overcome when I saw this. I'm not actually going to ban anyone for posting on my talk page. And what happens on a talk page is the history of that page, so it's fine, I'll leave it here. Sorry if I scared anyone. -RAHB 19:49, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- Uh, yeah, sorry, thought this was getting a bit long. Do you want this whole conversation moved to the article talk page or something? Because as you said, er, this is your talk page. Sir MacMania GUN—[13:53 22 Aug 2010]
Fucking buttered scones.
- Can we have happy scones please? They look like...well scones...—RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [09:56 22 August 2010]
FUCK YOU
How DARE you insult me like that you dickhead, I ought to fuck you up - seriously? what makes you so damn high-and-mighty? You got a problem with me? fine - no need to be an aggressive asshole about it.. fuck you. --Frogmanic 19:51, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- Hit me with your best shot. (FIRE AWAAAAAAAAAAAY!) -RAHB 19:53, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
-
- I've just been edit conflicted three times so HAH! Admin protect, bitches! Also, I forgot what I was going to say. -RAHB 19:59, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- Sorry, that was me. I reverted him because I think he's that troll guy we've had recently, but then I read the whole section and decided to leave it up to you.--HM (T) 20:04, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- He's almost certainly a troll. If you could link me to which one you're referencing, I can do all the necessary sadistic admin things to him. Otherwise, I lolt. -RAHB 20:07, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- There was a forum about him here, where Andorin called him "Papa-Smurf". Of course, the forum gave him the attention that trolls crave, so it was decided that we do nothing except what we always do.--HM (T) 20:10, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- Oh, he's that guy, is he? /me rolls up sleeves -RAHB 20:23, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- I hate that guy, as for that guy I'm not familiar with his work. —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [21:28 22 August 2010]
- He's hardly even a threat compared to that guy. He's the worst. -RAHB 21:59, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- Don't even get me started on that guy! —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [22:21 22 August 2010]
- He's hardly even a threat compared to that guy. He's the worst. -RAHB 21:59, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- I hate that guy, as for that guy I'm not familiar with his work. —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [21:28 22 August 2010]
- Oh, he's that guy, is he? /me rolls up sleeves -RAHB 20:23, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- There was a forum about him here, where Andorin called him "Papa-Smurf". Of course, the forum gave him the attention that trolls crave, so it was decided that we do nothing except what we always do.--HM (T) 20:10, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- He's almost certainly a troll. If you could link me to which one you're referencing, I can do all the necessary sadistic admin things to him. Otherwise, I lolt. -RAHB 20:07, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- Sorry, that was me. I reverted him because I think he's that troll guy we've had recently, but then I read the whole section and decided to leave it up to you.--HM (T) 20:04, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
- I've just been edit conflicted three times so HAH! Admin protect, bitches! Also, I forgot what I was going to say. -RAHB 19:59, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
-
Good morning. I swallowed a bar of soap on Saturday and was foaming at the mouth ever so slightly here- sorry to anyone i snarled at,bit,or who contracted rabies or Irish Spring disease from multiple bites. Specifically the apparently usual suspects(YTTE,HM,SirMcM, and our host RAHB Roy whose mole,ginger hair, lazy eye, and ponytail i am willing to overlook for now) who in retrospect, with the exception of the occasional goad and Noob pit trap , were only trying to help. See you on the barricades.⦿⨦⨀ phrage 11:20, August 23, 2010 (UTC)
- Swimming! Thank you for acknowledging my mole. I had it custom made. -RAHB 18:37, August 23, 2010 (UTC)
- If you squeeze it does yummy mexican mole sauce come out ? that must be so cool and make you very popular at ethnic parties and with girlfriends.But as Hannibal Lecter says all good things must come to an end and i have presumed upon your hospitality long enough- there must be a turkey slice somewhere that needs a south of the border garnishing. ⦿⨦⨀ phrage 21:08, August 23, 2010 (UTC)Oh and whoever changed one of my signature eyes to a black eye on Saturday -THAT was funny.
DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL FOR MAKING ME LOOK AT THAT!
GOD SHALL SMITE THEE AND THOU SHALT BURN IN EVERLASTING DAMNATION FOR THE SACRILEGE THAT IS POPEYE PORN! Also, it's your turn in Fantasy football. Hurry, because I just told UU it was his turn, and he's got an itchy trigger finger.--<<>> 03:01, August 24, 2010 (UTC)
- Tell him to keep his fingers away from dirty, dirty prostitutes. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 03:52, August 24, 2010 (UTC)
Hey man, what's up.
Hey, RAHB. I was just wondering how did you get a picture on the upper left corner of where the Uncyclopedia logo is? Can you give me some tips on how to do that? Please reply. --APR 14:01, August 24, 2010 (UTC)APR
- This code: {{nologo}} <span style="position:absolute;top:-40px;left:-198px;z-index:1;">[[Image:Zappa01bl2.png|200px]]</span>. The {{nologo}} bit obviously gets rid of the logo and then hte span bit positions the image where the logo should be. Put your own image where RAHB's got [[Image:Zappa01bl2.png|200px]] and voila! —RAT'S COCK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [17:58 24 August 2010]
- Yes, what he said, that's exactly how. Also, a tip on uploading whatever image you upload, it's best if it's a square (400px by 400px for example) or somewhat square-like, and if it's 400px or smaller. I think anyways. I have no idea how that thing works but I copied it from somebody else. Yettie probably knows more about it than I do. -RAHB 22:45, August 24, 2010 (UTC)