User:RAHB/Talk Archive 9
 | This page is an archive. The contents have been moved from another page for reference purposes only, and should be preserved in their current form. Discussion or voting on this page is not current. Any additions you make will probably not be read. The current version of this page can be found at User talk:RAHB. |
Talk Archive 1 (2/28/07 - 7/6/07) • Talk Archive 2 (7/6/07 - 9/8/07)
Talk Archive 3 (9/8/07 - 12/8/07) • Talk Archive 4 (12/8/07 - 5/18/08)
Talk Archive 5 (5/18/08 - 7/12/08) • Talk Archive 6 (7/12/08 - 8/20/08)
Talk Archive 7 (8/20/08 - 12/3/08) • Talk Archive 8 (12/3/08 - 2/19/09)
Talk Archive 9 (2/19/09 - 5/25/09) • Talk Archive 10 (5/25/09 - 10/26/09)
Talk Archive 11 (10/26/09 - 12/9/09) • Talk Archive 12 (12/9/09 - 4/25/10)
Talk Archive 13 (4/25/10 - 8/26/10) • Talk Archive 14 (8/26/10 - 8/13/11)
Talk Archive 15 (8/13/11 - 1/30/12) • Talk Archive 16 (1/30/12 - 7/12/12)
Talk Archive 17 (7/12/12 - 1/10/13) • Talk Archive 18 (1/10/13 - 7/11/13)
Talk Archive 19 (7/11/13 - 8/15/14) • Talk Archive 20 (8/15/14 - 5/27/18)
Speedy Despoil
This talk page can no longer hold up its head in proper society. --UU - natter 
21:41, Feb 19
- (cur) (last) 13:41, 19 February 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs | block) m (935 bytes) (whoosh!) (rollback | undo)
- (cur) (last) 13:39, 19 February 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs | block) (760 bytes) ('chive) (undo)
- Hey, what happened here? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 21:47, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
- Dammit, too late. One of these days I'll get you. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:01, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
- One of these days, Alice... -RAHB 23:25, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
- Yeah, yeah, right to the moon... —Sir SysRq (talk) 00:00, 20 February 2009 (UTC)
- One of these days, Alice... -RAHB 23:25, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
HOLY SHIT!!!
Yes, once again, I found time to actually write. Now as my record shows, I may not get to it for a few months, but... HOLY SHIT!!!!! There's no article on holy shit! Do you think you could help me? I might try to incorporate it with the Holy Grail in some manner. Anyway, what do you think of my new article?--Liz muffin 22:07, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
- Oh yes, it's fantastic. Delightfully absurd. I'd think it should be expanded a little. Don't know how you'd really go about that, but as is it's pretty short. What's there is fantastic though, and the whole idea to begin with is of course great. As far as holy shit goes, I could probably help you out with it. It would have to be particularly good, considering the amount of run-of-the-mill religion-based articles we get, but I think you could pull it off. I think we have a few images around here somewhere that would go really well with it too. -RAHB 22:15, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
- Well, I'm not sure how to expand it. Any ideas?--Liz muffin 22:46, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
- I dunno really. Perhaps just go into greater detail with everything. Bigger words, longer sentences, or something of that nature. That bit's all up to you, I think it's good as is, I just want to make sure the article-tagging brigade doesn't take it down. -RAHB 23:26, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
- Adding one or two categories is always a good idea. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 23:28, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
- Well, I'm not sure how to expand it. Any ideas?--Liz muffin 22:46, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
That freaked me out!
Just as I was messing with my css you do that! He. MrN 
03:10, Feb 23
.
Where did that dot behind your name come from? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 10:31, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
- Oh, it's gone now. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 12:36, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
- Hey, it's back! -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 22:05, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
Look! There's the dot again! Wait, now it's gone. Oh, it's back! —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:00, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
Tits
Cream of the tit
UnSignpost 26th February 09
The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH
February 26, 2009 • Issue 36 • Picking the poppy seeds of truth from the teeth of the news
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Imperial Coloni(s|z)ation For Glorification of Motherwiki  Imperial Colonization made yet another triumphant return this week, after several months of languishing, inactivity, and Richard Nixon. Upon a general query from an annoying masked UnSignpost writer, another anonymous user stepped up and took control. That anonymous user is SysRq. Forums were created, ideas were exchanged, and the Cajek search party was sent out again. Only the last one was in vain, as an all-new Colonisation page was rolled out last week. Uncyclopedians wasted no time in signing up and nominating their first target: the utter garbage pile that was Al Gore. Previously containing banal tripe such as Manbearpig references, internet invention claims, lockbox bollocks, and other assorted drivel, the article is now, according to an official Colonization spokesman, "well on its way to not sucking." Future Colonisations have been lined up as well, leading this reporter to believe that this time around, Colonization is here to stay, even moreso that Manforman or the Poison Pee template. It looks as if the article on Jews is next on the Colonisation docket, since all articles relating to that topic are "utter bilge, consumed with hateful pointlessness and also secretly controlled by Jews." British Infiltration of Non-Existent Cabal Continues at VFS
 The early opping was due to two factors, firstly, an unprecedented landslide, with two candidates polling so many votes that the final round was rendered an irrelevance, and secondly, new 'crat Mordillo being impatient to use his whizzy new powers to op the new admins before Codeine or Mhaille beat him to it. The most votes were polled by MrN9000, and your USP can't think of a more deserving recipient of a shiny new banstick. He's already thrown himself into his new role with gusto, banning, deleting, featuring and the like with gusto, and proudly declaring "I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing", thus showing he has as much grasp of the role already as any other admin. The numbers were made up by fellow limey Under user, who has been keen to get started using his whizzy new powers, but has been limited to mainly joke bans so far by MrN's astounding competence and annoying habit of doing all the work. UU was unavailable for comment (which is odd, seeing as he's writing this), but his wife had this to say: "you bastards! Do you have any idea what you've done? I'll be lucky to see him for more than about half an hour a week now!" She wasn't joking. |
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I dare you to ban me.
See? I knew you wouldn't do it! =P Sir Not A Good Username360
KUN 01:52, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
VFS
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For your vote in VFS You have been awarded a Certificate guaranteeing you safe passage within Uncyclopedia's borders if Zionist domination is eventually established. |
Truth
Please go away. You suck. Stop ruining this site with your crap.
- Okay. -RAHB 07:59, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
- I second that. Your crap is just such a site-ruiner. —Sir SysRq (talk) 17:29, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
- lol these are words 2 live by get out feggit
allo allo
Hm... Killface, eh? I like the claws, but mostly I love his accent. Thanks for welcoming me back, albeit with an ancient PC and no sound. Cheers! 
Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:59, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
- Oh fuck yes. The best of the pseudo-british voices. Did you know the same guy who voiced Killface voiced Xander? It's amazing, isn't it? I know. I just blew your mind. -RAHB 21:25, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost 5th March 09
The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!
March 5, 2009 • Issue 37 • The News, Smelted to 93% Purity!
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New parser causes havoc by requiring Uncyclopedians to get things right
 Resident tame Wikia staffer Sannse tried to explain: "bad HTML is the most likely cause of errors. But there are some other changes that might cause errors. For example, the way that some complex parser tags work has changed. The best thing to do is to look for HTML problems first (not forgetting that the errors are often in templates used on the page). Then, if you can't find it, hassle anyone you know who knows HTML and wikimarkup better than you (nah, not going to link some poor guy). Then, if you can't find it, hassle me to find help (Uberfuzzy is on standby to assist where needed). Again I'd suggest that the template author should be the person who knows how to make it work!" Most Uncyclopedians had already gone cross-eyed by this point, but she gamely continued: "Don't forget that you can use Special:ParserDiffTest as a help in finding exactly what's different on a page. A lot of the changes don't mean anything. For example, on this page the only differences are to class and section titles. But this one shows problems with center and div tags (the last two green sections on the div)". Your USP offers the following, less confusing advice: if you open any kind of tag in html like <this>, you have to close it again, like </this> before the end of your page. And if you open more then one tag, be sure to close them in the right order <like><this></this></like>. Then shit should not get fucked up. The gnomes were unavailable for comment. February '... of the Month' Awards Hoedown Well, February is over, and that means it's time to look back at the shortest month of the year and make fun of people who won awards during that month, for they have only won 90.32% as much recognition as those who won the award during a robust 31-day month. Let's get started with...
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Um well I don't know if this is the right place to leave that damn message but are you still planning on adopting a noob? Because I am uber noob, and I need and adoptee before I do something idiotic like posting messages where they're not supposed to go. Cheers mate
please do delete that damn comment before I get sat upon... did I even put it in the right place? -NeveroddoreveN
really sorry!
UnSignpost 12th March 09
Now With 0 Trans Fat!
March 10th, 2009 • Issue 38 • Mucking up your talk page, one issue at a time
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CONSPIRACY!!!  WE ARE DOOMED! Head for the hills, Uncyclopedia users, there's nothing that can save us now! As of this morning, we NO LONGER EXIST!!! Now, if you are reading this, you may be thinking to yourself, "why, that Gerry fellow is quite mad. Since I am reading the UnSignpost now, then both I and Uncyclopedia must still exist." To this i say to you: THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK. Furthermore, it is also WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK THEY THINK YOU THINK. Reactions were mixed today at the wiki. Some theorized that uncyclopedia.wikia.com was, in fact, sinking. In response to this, the women (all 3 of them) and children were loaded onto lifeboats and fired out of the lifeboat-cannon, in hopes that they would land far away enough from the landlocked Uncyc as to find a body of water. Other preparations included the Cajek string quartet playing rousing versions of traditional ship-sinking music. While it might seem rash for an official non-cabal-run periodical to endorse panic, the UnSignpost urges all Uncyclopedia users to abandon all reason and logic in an attempt to save themselves. The best course of action is most likely the one that involves the maximum amount of screaming, arm-flailing, and general insanity. The Uncyclopedia Store is likely to be looted quickly, so be sure to stop by early to maximize you chances at getting the best stuff. Count to a Million: Update Uncyclopedians have continued their brave foray into the dangerous world of numbers, today reaching the long-awaited benchmark of 3,239. The constitutes nearly 1/300th of the total goal, meaning we are 0.32% of the way there! Users were overjoyed, confused, and generally apathetic about the achievement. Since its inception on February 20th, 2008, many different counters, or 'c-ters' as they refer to themselves, have contributed to the project. The content of the countup has varied greatly, from battleships to cartoon characters to road signs, and yet never deviating very far away from pornography. At any rate, it seems Uncyclopedia admin and Chair of the Committee to Investigate and Eliminate Needless Committees Spang's experiment to destroy the internet has not succeeded...yet. The project has advanced at a rate of 8.39 numbers per day, a respectable clip considering the enormous effort involved in adding the next number in the sequence. At this brisk clip, the project will reach completion at 18:45 UT on June 24, 2334. Until that day, Uncyclopedians can only hope, dream, and continue in the increasingly difficult task of adding one to a moderately large number. |
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Cheers, mate!
Thanks for responding so quick! So what's the first thing I should do?
--NeveroddoreveN 12:16, 13 March 2009 (UTC)
In Gratitude
The GlobalTourniquet says "Thanks!"
Understandably, you voted for my article for featuring. Although your "for" vote was not extraordinary, as the article's genius was beyond question, it is still appropriate to acknowledge your dutiful participation in the process.
So, in gratitude for your vote, I will dedicate my next sexual act to your honor. Thank you.
The following sexual acts are available for this honor. Please indicate below this template which one you would like me to dedicate to your user name.
Self-gratification
Spousal coitus Purchased sex Casual encounter
NOTE: Only under limited circumstances will this act actually involve you.
UnSignpost 19th March
STOP... SIGNPOST TIME!!
March 19th, 2009 • Issue 39 • Committed to both Bringing You The News and The Happywood Insane Asylum
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Forum topic created; Modusoperandi posts witty response  At a certain point this week, a relatively green uncyclopedian posed a rather ill-advised question on one of the Forums quaintly known to patrons of this silly wiki as the 'Village Dump'. A few seconds after the aforementioned certain point this week, resident cheek-tonguer Modusoperandi responded by intentionally misinterpreting the meaning of the question, twisting the querist's words, taking advantage of some sort of delicious pun, or otherwise causing mischief in the usually serious, informative Forum. Reactions were, as usual, mixed in the community. Several anonymous users were outraged at the lack of tact and formality displayed by the wily Modus. "Uncyclopedia is serious business," said one pitchfork-wielding mob participant. "We would descend into total anarchy if it weren't for the court system, the press, the boron smelting plant, and the sanctity of our information distribution system." Other users seemed to support the flashing of rapier wit, claiming "if we can't laugh a little, then what's the point? Without humor, we'd end up in hell like all those poor souls who lived before Jesus invented comedy in 23 A.D." Modusoperandi himself declined to comment on the situation, only offering this brief reply to a query seeking a comment: "She told me that she was eighteen. She also told me that she human and was not, in fact, a bonobo. If you have any other questions, please direct them to my law firm; Alan, Whitcomb, Silverstein & Bonobo." It seems the elusive Mr. Operandi is free to continue in his forum havoc-wreaking, as nobody has stepped up to officially denounce his actions. All bonobos involved were unavailable for comment.
This week the Uncyclopedia community was outraged to learn that the UnSignpost, which recently received a Wikia bailout, will be giving hefty bonuses to the very dunderheads responsible for driving the periodical into the ground in the first place. The extremely active Uncyclopedia Senate has vowed that action will be taken against the editors set to receive the lucrative bonuses. It may be possible that they will be blocked from editing or even exiled to another wiki. Uncyclopedians were, for the most part, outraged. Popular user Mnbvcxz had an unrelated statement quote-mined by an UnSignpost journalist to produce the following comment:"I[...]is[...]finished," a possible indication that he will leave the site in protest of the bonuses. The founders of the newspaper refused comment, as they want nothing to do with it anymore, and true to that mission this reporter was chased off the the grounds of the Cajek mansion by bunnies wearing bee costumes. The current editors were hounded, with Under user having this to say: "I don't think there have been any "comically large" bonuses paid out. There have simply been adequate contractual remunerations allocated to key staff to reward their loyalty and unstinting efforts. Every penny of these almost insignificant amounts is richly deserved. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to buy a large yacht and fill a swimming pool with cash to float it on." Gerrycheevers was absolutely unavailable at press time.
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MnbvcxzBot 05:24, 20 March 2009 (UTC)
hi
What do you think of The Woodburninator? It's for an article. --Docile hippopotamus 01:29, 22 March 2009 (UTC)
- Are you saying that you invented The Woodburninator for an article? You monster! You created an artificial life just so it could be exploited in writing?! I can't believe this! Here! In our very own Uncyclopedia! I never would have guessed it myself.
PLS judging
I'm sending you this because you are signed up to judge the Poo Lit Surprise. If you no longer want to judge or are incapable of doing so, please tell me as soon as possible. If you're still good to go, here are the instructions:
First, read all of the articles in your specified category. Second, judge them. Judge how you like, as long as it's at least fair and based on merit (one suggestion would be to use the Pee Review format). Post your top 5 articles here. Hit me up on my talk page for questions, comments, if these rules are not cognisant within you, or of you don't know what the word "cognisant" means.
Thank you again for your valued participation in the balletic train wreck that is the Poo Lit Surprise! –—Hv (talk) 24/03 20:32
Danke schön!
Thank you for supporting my recently featured article
Your support is greatly appreciated.
—Guildensternenstein
Morning Mr. RAHB sir!
Just a suggestion - how about we suggest to the creator of Microwave ovens that his article would work better as a section of (the far superior) Microwave oven because it doesn't look as though it's likely to develop into anything worthwhile, does it? I was about to do exactly that when I noticed you'd added the ICU, so if you disagree and feel it's just about to burst forth with the gaudy blooms of hilarity no probs. Rabbi Techno 
kvetch 
Contribs 
FOXES 08:57, 27 March 2009 (UTC)
- Well John, you know I can never say no to you. I'm also a lazy mother fucker, so I nominate you to suggest these suggestions that you suggest we suggest. I trust you can handle this mission with the utmost professionalism, Mr. Techno. This message will self destruct in 10 seconds. -RAHB 09:01, 27 March 2009 (UTC)
Meh
Quite shallow, my dear Watson. I claim victory in this round. ~
09:58, 27 March 2009 (UTC)
- It is not the battle, but the war that shall determine the victor, you rapscallion! -RAHB 10:01, 27 March 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost 26th March 09
The edition that's black and white and dead all over
March 26th, 2009 • Issue 40• Spooning the Soggy Vegetables of Truth from the Luke-warm Soup of the News
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MrN's banstick stuck in "on" position
 Popular admin, underwear enthusiast and raconteur MrN9000 has gone on a ban-rampage unprecedented in the recent history of the wiki. Seemingly keen to win his first bastard admin award, the conscientious custodian has already banned more people this month than all the other admins combined. The other admins rallied bravely, with even Spang being seen to ban someone (only his third of the year) as they tried to show they were not now completely surplus to requirements. However, even as this story was typed, MrN banned another 3 vandals, rendering their efforts ultimately futile. Speculation that he is trying to ban more people on an individual basis than Hinoa managed in one go when he banned the whole of Italy cannot be confirmed or denied at the time of going to press. When asked about his phenomenal spree, MrN said "What do all these buttons with "Ban" written on them do? I keep pushing them, but nothing appears to happen". Banning legend Mordillo, when asked for a comment on MrN's ban excesses, said "I believe the man is a menace, and danger to society. I believe he should be castrated, quartered, hanged, torched and his ashes should be scattered over France. I believe he should burn in hell for all eternity. What? Do I feel pity about all those who he banned? Fuck no, I didn't have anyone to ban because of the bastard!" Uncyclopedia now famous  In a totally unexpected development, Uncyclopedia has officially earned the worldwide recognition it has longed for since its inception. On the website digg.com, all internet content is sorted and ranked by coolness, similar to the process found in many middle schools. It seems Uncyc's page on spam has reached sufficient 'cool' status as to cause the rest of the site to become invited to the "cool kid's lunch table", along with theonion.com and cracked.com. Reactions were unusually mixed today in the Uncyclopedia break room. When asked what it's like to suddenly be cool, Optimuschris said, "shit, I'll let you know when I find out." Another user, DrStrange, was asked for a comment, and promptly responded "comment duly delivered!" Clearly, popularity has already gone to Uncyclopedians' heads, as such chippy responses are rarely seen. Uncyclopedians have become too cool for school. When asked for comment regarding adding a sentence to the end of this article to extend its length and make this week's UnSignpost look pretty, Gerrycheevers said, "bugger off." |
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HEY FAGGOTRON!
HOW'S IT GOIN'?!?!?! --CHOAD SMOKER 5000 19:39, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
- YOU SUCK DILDO COCKS WHAT'S NEW WITH YOU?!?!?! -FAGGOTRON 19:42, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
- WELL MY BOYFRIEND JUST LEFT ME AND I'M AT THE END OF MY ROPE YOU FUCKING QUEEN! HELP! --CHOAD SMOKER 5000 20:03, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
- LOL UR A GAYZ! -FAGGOTRON 20:33, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
- WELL MY BOYFRIEND JUST LEFT ME AND I'M AT THE END OF MY ROPE YOU FUCKING QUEEN! HELP! --CHOAD SMOKER 5000 20:03, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
Hey RAHB
I noticed you were around. That's awesome, because I need some help. Could you kindly oblige me and move User:IronLung/The Pet Goat to The Pet Goat, which is currently a redirect? IronLung 05:59, 2 April 2009 (UTC)
- I can and I did. You do know that regular users can move pages though, right? -RAHB 06:01, 2 April 2009 (UTC)
- Very efficient. Yeah I've moved pages before, and I tried to move it, but it would not let me for some reason, possibly because the other page already existed. I don't really understand this wiki malarky. Thanks for your help! IronLung 06:05, 2 April 2009 (UTC)
March Foolitzer Prize
which is sure to be worth a very great deal of money in the near future.
An original recording of an interview between UNNEWS and
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
in which he reveals the truth about aliens.
Unfortunately, it's on Betamax so you can't watch it.
Many thanks for voting for me in last month's Foolitzer Prize.
Rabbi Techno
UnSignpost 2nd April 09
The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way they did!
April 5th, 2009 • Issue 41 • In the fashion of Illogicopedia, the only Newspaper that will tear a toboggan!
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EVIL WIKIA DICTATORS SHUT DOWN UNCYCLOPEDIA  Due to high operational costs and "the community being a bunch of gits", the nefarious Uncyclopedia overlords at Wikia shut down the comedy wiki yesterday. This resulted in much confusion, outrage, and blundering about in the dark. When asked to comment about the situation, Orian57 said, "No, because you'll actually put what I say into the paper, and last time you made me look really stupid. Although it is a tad inconvenient. And what do you mean 'Cabal'?" It should be noted that Orian is both exceedingly intelligent and unbearably attractive, and there most certainly is not a cabal of any kind. Other users seemed to have been expecting this for some time. Necropaxx had this to say: "Honestly, I'm surprised it took this long for Wikia to do this. We Uncyclopedians have been total jerks for far too long. I suggest we all go to Wikia and give Jimbo Wales a nice big "We're sorry" and hope he's feeling generous." This editor took this advice to mean that we should vandalize Wikipedia furiously, and redirected their page on Karma to Coincidence. At press time, Uncyclopedia still did not exist, and many in the community expressed doubt that the Wikia Council would ever reinstate the site. With the recent drama over the domain change, and the promise of ads descending swiftly into every corner and crevasse of our wiki, we seem to be simply too much trouble to be bothered with. This reporter considers it to be good while it lasted, and offeres up a toast to the good old days of Uncyclopedia. Image of Dog Holding Paper, not used in UnSignpost for over Nine Months, Makes Glorious Return to UnSignpost  This reporter is proud to say that, after being absent from the UnSignpost for over nine months, our lovable mascot "DogNewspaper" has returned to grace this periodical once again. DogNewspaper made his debut in the second issue of the UnSignpost, which covered such stories as 'UnSignpost created' and 'Uncyclopedia is the worst'. After bringing you the second story in issues 2 through 5, DogNewspaper was promoted to "top dog", and accompanied the lead story for four issues in June 2008. DogNewspaper took an extended hiatus after Issue 9 to "see the world" and, more urgently, "sniff the world". After many exciting adventures, our mascot is back to stay, and will likely be used many more times in the coming months in what editor Gerrycheevers referred to as "blatant space-filler. DogNewspaper can take a story and squish it to the left side of the page, extending its length. Now get off my lawn!" DogNewspaper declined to comment, but did wag his tail enthusiastically before rolling over in an effort to have his belly scratched. |
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For your vote...
 The Great Potato Massacre of March 2009 Thank you for supporting Sonje in her ruthless campaign for Potatochopper of the Month A baby potato shall be mercilessly sacrificed in your honour. |
--Dame 
22:04, 2 April 2009 (UTC)
Just so you know...
As I just mentioned to Modus here... My comment over at VFS was not really intended to be for the other sysops, but more for users who will no-doubt be reading the page (for whatever reason). Hopefully my message will get a few more users watching RC which is really what we need... It's the new breasts you see. I'm just trying to keep abreast of things. MrN 14:51, Apr 4
- Indeed, indeed. And as per Modus, my mention of recent changes was more relevant to my own comment, and less a reference to your comments. I agree with what you say, especially since regular users have all the requirements to revert vandalism (and can ask for rollback if they need it), without the mess of administration. Probably better that way. -RAHB 19:26, 4 April 2009 (UTC)
- Y'all are talking bad about me again. Stop! --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:52, 7 April 2009 (UTC)
press
hey rahb, as a cabalist, would you have any comment on the cabal's recnt decision to not accept cabal applications this month, the existence of the cabal, or puppies? 20:35, 7 April 2009 (UTC)
- I cannot confirm the non-existence of the non-existent cabal, being that it does not exist, and I'm no Harry Potter-reading fantasy boy. I can however confirm the existence of puppies. THEY'RE ADORABLE! -RAHB 00:28, 8 April 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost April 9/10th, 2009
Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!
April 9th, 2009 • Issue 42• We Give the In-jokes Recycling Center 90% of Their Business!
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Cabalists Decide Cabal Membership At Adequate Amount, Deny Existence of Cabal Uncyclopedia administrators this week decried the lack of need for new recruits, as they are wholly confident in their ability to secretly control the wiki from behind a moth-eaten curtain. On the voting page, which this reporter will probably be banned for pointing out to the common folk, the current cabal members expressed their desire to see more normal non-admins, or 'normies', be involved with the recent changes page. However, the option for another member being inducted into the cabal was declined, as things like the ban patrol and the Cajek Alert System seem to be running just fine, thank you very much. Cabalists were adamant about their opinions. RAHB had the following to say: "I cannot confirm the non-existence of the non-existent cabal, being that it does not exist, and I'm no Harry Potter-reading fantasy boy. I can however confirm the existence of puppies. THEY'RE ADORABLE!" The non-existence of the cabal was further emphasized by Mordillo who declined comment when approached as he was leaving the Secret Cabal Headquarters & Tiki Lounge. Experts were skeptical of the existence of the cabal, but point out that nothing should be ruled out. "Woof," said UnSignpost political correspondent DogNewspaper (pictured), citing the low level of vandalism and general dickery since the recent opping of Under user and MrN9000, who have become known to Uncyclopedians as "The Redcoats". Co-Creator of UnSignpost Introduces New Creation Dr. Skullthumper, co-founder of the very newspaper you are reading right now, has unrolled his newest creation, the NetBar. UnSignpost editors were too busy and ridden with jealousy to investigate the nature of this new invention, but our technology correspondant DogNewspaper (pictured) was willing to speculate on the new gadget. "Bark bark," he proclaimed, elaborating that this new thing is most likely some sort of candy bar or online tavern. This is not the first time the good doctor has abandoned the UnSignpost to work on other equally trivial projects. Fnoodle, disguised as a harmless spellcheck wiki-bot, is actually a perfect one-eight replica of Skull. This entity has nearly 20,000 edits, mostly vandalisms of pages in Thekillerfroggy's userspace. However, Fnoodle has sat abandoned in the doctor's sandbox since last October, since all of said doctor's time recently has been poured into his new project, the NetBar. Uncyclopedians had mixed reactions today. Sockpuppet of an unregistered user had this to say: "Huh? What are you talking about? Of course I'm drunk." A gathering in the Uncyclopedia break room formed, with users misguidedly attempting to ward off squirrels with the NetBar. When reached for comment, Dr. Skullthumper said, "What's an UnSignpost?" |
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Hand-delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:17, 9 April 2009 (UTC)
In Graltitude
The GlobalTourniquet says "Thanks!"
Understandably, you voted for my article for featuring. Although your "for" vote was not extraordinary, as the article's genius was beyond question, it is still appropriate to acknowledge your dutiful participation in the process.
So, in gratitude for your vote, I will dedicate my next common typographical error to you. Thank you.
The following common typographical errors are available for this honor. Please indicate below this template which one you would like me to dedicate to your user name.
I just found out about you
Resonance-Assisted Hydrogen Bond. —Sir Socky
(talk) (stalk)
GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:08, 12 April 2009 (UTC)
Hey, you fuck
Why are you being such a fucking cunt? --
Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER 01:13, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
- That's not even remotely as important as what the fuck a "bastarb" is supposed to be. -RAHB 01:38, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
You should talk about penises
Yours truly. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:09, 14 April 2009 (UTC)
O'Brien
The page O'Brien Middle School was deleted because it was considered to be VANITY. Is there some way for me to post this article but not violate any rules? -Kluft 07:15, 16 April 2009 (UTC)
- Probably not. You could make it more accessible I suppose, but I'm not sure how you'd go about doing that. It would also need to be more original, and quite frankly "my middle school is a death camp that brainwashes kids" is about the least original thing I've ever heard. Carefully read UN:VAIN and if you can think of some sort of way to write your article without breaking the rules, let me know. As far as I can tell, Uncyclopedia won't allow your article on our site. I could of course also suggest that you write about a number of other things, that don't break the rules. -RAHB 07:28, 16 April 2009 (UTC)
OK, I will try to make a careful rewrite so it does not violate any rules. -Kluft 22:41, 16 April 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost April 16th, 2009
Good things come to those who wait. So does the UnSignpost.
April 16th, 2009 • Issue 43 • It's News Because We Tell You It Is
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Latest Poo Lit Leads to Quality Flood on VFH
 The first article nominated to VFH from the competition also came with a bold prediction by one numbskull, who questioned his existence if Karl Lagerfeld did not receive 20 One of our winners was not only a perfect 1/1 by winning the best rewrite category with Money but Sycamore also received the vaunted Writer of the Month trophy for March 2009! A user that happens to wander in and write us an offering on occasion claimed a share of first place in the alternative namespace category with the UnNews article Obama unveils education reform plans. Monika should drop in more often! Worst 100 of the Year Stumbles to 10 Things
 There are several schools of thought as to why this situation has been allowed to arise. One gaining currency among quite literally possibly some Uncyclopedians is that everyone on the site is so busy producing quality material that they just don't have time to devote to such frivolities. However, the continued existence and rate of progress of Forum:Count to a million neatly quashes that theory. Another hypothesis advanced by as many as no or fewer people is that precisely nothing of any interest to anyone has happened, either on this wiki or on the interwebs in general this year. However, while this is significantly more likely than the first theory, the generally accepted explanation seems to be that, quite simply and predictably, Uncyclopedia is the worst. |
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For. votes. At 03:57, 11 April 2009 the 20th For vote was cast by Hand-delivered by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:50, 16 April 2009 (UTC)
Hmmmmmmm
I see you reverted my re-ICU'ing of TYATU, Episode 15. Have we reached a consensus, then, that
Gouncyclopedia!
is welcome to clog up the place with as much TYATU-related garbage as he sees fit? Or was I somehow out-of-process when I re-ICU'ed it? Is it like a 7-day thing where we should be disassembling the whole steaming pile of shit with VFD, one page at a time? 
pillow talk 22:39, 16 April 2009 (UTC)
- I frankly have no idea what's going on with this stuff. I thought it had been decided that it was being allowed as a "self-parody" thing. Then they told me they weren't sure. But the template still has the links in it. And...and...I'm so confused! -RAHB 22:41, 16 April 2009 (UTC)
Racine
You tagged the Racine article as needing more content. I completed the article, care to read? 24.167.214.53 03:44, 19 April 2009 (UTC)
11-Wide
This was a quick turnaround but I think it works, at least for now. I found a pick of FLA running the unbalanced offense scheme and cloned everyone to the line of scrimmage.-- 11:37, 20 April 2009 (UTC)≈
- Ah, fantastic! That's what I had done on the original image, and I'd only realized after having worked on it for a while that I'd gotten it all mixed up. I'll add yours to the article, and I think I'll move mine down to incorporate the "confused defense" suggestion someone else mentioned. Thanks muchly. -RAHB 19:36, 20 April 2009 (UTC)
- I went ahead and did some work on 11-wide, just smoothing out the language and a little paragraph restructure for the ending - putting the fate of coach and squid boy at the very end. Speaking of the ending, I highly suggest removing the Rick R sentence in the end or adding to the article to set up the ending with Rick R because, at the moment, it just comes out of nowhere, kind of non-sequitur. Either way, I've voted
For. and will blue-link it for you later.-- 18:49, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
- Very good. I've been watching and appreciate what you've done with it. Something about this article has never been able to materialize as perfectly as I'd like in the way I've written it, and I think you've definitely helped out with it. I'd be willing to share the feature with you if it does in fact go that far. As far as the end line, I meant for it to be rather non-sequitor, a quick reference to television programs on ESPN that end similarly, but there has been a lot of suggestion in the past to change that bit around, and I believe I'll give into it. I'll try to think up a more appropriate ending during my next class and change it when I get back home. Or if you've got anything in mind, feel free to add it on as well. Cheers, and thanks again. -RAHB 19:12, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
- Quickly (as I'm on the run), no credit necessary since it's kind of like the Billy Mays article. I add some but it's mostly restating the same material in a different form. It's shaping up well and looks like a weiner - that's what counts.-- 19:26, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
- Very good. I've been watching and appreciate what you've done with it. Something about this article has never been able to materialize as perfectly as I'd like in the way I've written it, and I think you've definitely helped out with it. I'd be willing to share the feature with you if it does in fact go that far. As far as the end line, I meant for it to be rather non-sequitor, a quick reference to television programs on ESPN that end similarly, but there has been a lot of suggestion in the past to change that bit around, and I believe I'll give into it. I'll try to think up a more appropriate ending during my next class and change it when I get back home. Or if you've got anything in mind, feel free to add it on as well. Cheers, and thanks again. -RAHB 19:12, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
- I went ahead and did some work on 11-wide, just smoothing out the language and a little paragraph restructure for the ending - putting the fate of coach and squid boy at the very end. Speaking of the ending, I highly suggest removing the Rick R sentence in the end or adding to the article to set up the ending with Rick R because, at the moment, it just comes out of nowhere, kind of non-sequitur. Either way, I've voted
Penis
You have propably noticed my little UnJoke, UnJokes:Chicken Little, upon which you bestowed an expansion tag. Y'see, there is a forum on the Minstry of love about starting a portal for jokes (tiny articles) and shit, the conclusion was: I start it in my userspace and they wait to see how things turn out then they decide if it is going to be mainspaced. ...Fine, now that was a test/demo for the portal, and it technically failed, it didnt appear on the project's main page, categorization shit, I think. The moral of this novel is that I need help, YOUR help, with my little project. Also I dont want you tagging future unjokes with expansion tags. Your help would be appreciated, cheers! :) 23:14, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
- The logical progression seems to me to be having one page represent a certain category of jokes (for example: several variations of "why did the chicken cross the road?" or "jokes about cocks" or some such), and to have several of those pages, tightly regulated by the project leader. Several one-liner pages would look sloppy, be a sonofabitch to maintain, and likely yield about 90% shitty pages aside from those facts. I understand what you're going for and I see the place Uncyclopedia has for it, but devoting an individual page to every one-liner seems quite over the top. Something more like Undictionary seems like it would work better. That's my view of course, I haven't looked at the forum post so I'm not sure what the community's general response to it was. But I do have to guarantee that until we've got some sort of rules put forth for the namespace, that I will continue to add expand tags to them, if for no other reason than to be able to keep a watch out and not lose several tiny little articles within the bowels of the site, unlinked from elsewhere. -RAHB 01:23, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
DOOKIE
Hey, you tagged my D.O.O.K.I.E article, and I've since spruced it up, so I'd appreciate it if you checked it out again. DementedlyHappy 01:26, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
- I've removed the tag now, but it could still use a little bit of cleanup here and there. I particularly recommend taking the list at the end out. It's useless and cliche, and doesn't really add to the article. Other than that, if you could make a sweep and reread the article, and try to pick up any grammatical mistakes, that would be great. -RAHB 06:17, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost 23rd April 09
Better sign it.
April 23rd, 2009 • Issue 44 • Spamming Your Talkpage Since 2008
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Conservation Week Largely Ignored By UnCommunity Uncyclopedia is currently halfway through its bi-annual (semi-annual?) rewriting extravaganza, lovingly referred to as Conservation Week. Every six months, members of this silly wiki partake in the practice of pruning, hacking, nurturing, feeding, and otherwise bothering the 'trees' of the site, which is the running metaphor for 'article'. From the greatest feature machine to the lowliest n00b, everyone can participate in Conservation Week by simply finding a sub-par article and making it better via trimming or adding content, or just plain magic. However, our special investigator DogNewspaper (pictured) has discovered that this so-called Rewrite-a-Thon is not the all-encompassing entity it is meant to be. In fact, normal operations such as VFD, VFH, and the Cajek Ban Joke Factory have not ground to a halt as they clearly should during this special fortnight. Users were puzzled by this revelation; RabbiTechno admitted that he has "little idea what 99.9% of the whole site is all about," and he elaborated that without his constant vigilance, UnNews would surely deteriorate into a third-rate media parody, which this reporter can verify is true. Known conservation standouts have also shockingly participated in non-rewrite-related activities during the designated tree-hugging week. Dexter111344, reigning Greasy Mechanic, blamed the inclement weather, nosy librarians, and the almighty Zeus. Or maybe he just rewrote Zeus, but the librarian part was true for sure. UnSignpost Reporter Subtly Mentions Vigilance Week In Article; Chaos Ensues  In the April 23rd, 2009 edition of the UnSignpost, masked co-chief-editor Gerrycheevers covertly linked the word 'vigilance' to Uncyclopedia's Vigilance Week page, inciting riots and mass panic among Uncyclopedians site-wide. Vigilance Week, the mere mention of which often inspires multiple forums where users argue and complain in bold or even italic font, is a period where the rules of article deletion are relaxed, and the worst articles on Uncyclopedia are loaded into the basement of the British Houses of Parliament and blown up using comical amounts of gunpowder. The last Vigilance Week reportedly occured in September/October 2007, resulting in the death of borderline humorous articles by the dozens. The horrific memories of that week have greatly affected some Uncyclopedians, who remain extremely charged about the issue to this day. For example, Modusoperandi recalled his experience when asked to comment on Vigilance Week, saying, "Certainly. What's "Vigilance Week"?" Other users were similarly shocked, as V-Week, as it has come to be known, was described as "unmemorable" by one user, and "get off my lawn" by another. However, the passion that Vigilance Week stirs up is negligent when compared to the shitstorm that results upon the mention of that black sheep of Uncyclopedia holidays: Forest Fire Week. This period in the Fall of 2006, when Uncyc was still really an infant in wiki-years, saw over 3000 articles deleted, more than 15% the total website content at the time. In fact, this very article will probably merit at least one forum regarding FFW despite this periodical's poor circulation and low-quality electrons. At press time, the subtle link to Vigilance Week had caused a medium-sized riot, with hordes of angry users tipping over cars in the Uncyclopedia Parking Structure and setting the animals in the Uncyclopedia Zoo loose. The Cabal is poised to get involved by seizing all media outlets and gener- ATTENTION COMMONERS. ALL IS WELL. THERE WILL BE NO OCCURENCES OF ANY DELETION WEEKS OF ANY KIND. FURTHERMORE, COMEDIC ALLOWANCES WILL HEREBY BE INCREASED FROM 80 GRAMS TO 65 GRAMS. THIS MESSAGE IS NOT THE DOING OF THE CABAL, AS THERE IS NO CABAL. GOODNIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT TOMORROW. |
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Images for Dimentio
I don't know how to put images up here! I've clicked the image template, but I can't seem to select an image source. So... I guess I can't add any images. Let's hope anyone who knows how to does. Also, are images typically relevant or irrelevant to the article? Ghostkaiba297 20:32, 24 April 2009 (UTC)
OK, I've done that, I tried an image on Paint, but it said the file was corrupt or had an incorrect extention... what does that mean?
- Uncyc said that, or paint did? It usually means you have the wrong name for something. That or the file is actually fucked and you have to create a new one. -RAHB 21:20, 24 April 2009 (UTC)
.
Hey why did u delete?
- You'll have to be monumentally more specific than that if you expect an answer of any sort of degree of helpfulness. -RAHB 06:48, 28 April 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost! 1st Anniversary Special!!!
The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!
April 30th, 2009 • Issue 45 • The periodical that - Jesus Christ it's a lion get in the car!
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UnSignpost Editors Too Busy Working on Anniversary UnSignpost to Bother with This Week's Issue Since next week marks the incredible one-year anniversary of the storied UnSignpost, the editors are focusing all of their efforts on that issue and thus leaving this issue out in the cold. Rest assured that next week's 46th issue, marking the 46 weeks in the year on the Uncyclopedia calendar, will be "a bumper special issue" according to co-chief-editor Under user. The promise of a special bonus issue brings to mind several of the UnSignpost's more notable issues, such as the All-Kitten Issue and the Seventeenth Issue Spectacular. Reactions to the milestone were mixed in the community. "I feel the signpost has in many ways brought a little too much cabal propaganda to the site for my liking," said noted good-looking tree Sycamore. Were there a cabal, cabal authorities would currently be on the way to Sycamore's house to arrest him. Lucky for him there is no cabal. By the way, if you really thought this was the first anniversary issue, you suck. |
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Hand delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:27, 30 April 2009 (UTC)
I've got a delivery for a Mister... Ray-hub?
Here's that Banana Jacket you ordered — complete with snake-holding trapeze artist and everything. Unfortunately, I regret to inform you that the second half of your purchase (a Banana Jacket on a coat hanger) is on back-order at the moment — it is, as I'm sure you are fully aware, a very popular item in high demand. I assure you, however, that as soon as we get some more in stock, we'll have our warehouse ship it right over. -- KneeChee27 01:37, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
- Oh my God, I want to make love to you. Thank you thank you thank you. -RAHB 02:59, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
- I get that a lot. I must be one unbelievably sexy dude, huh? Anyhoo, I'm sorry I couldn't get the coat-hanger one finished, too. Photoshop decided to be a total dick and kept automatically locking me out of my own layers. If I manage to find more free time, I'll try to get the last one done sometime within the next week or two. Of course, I promise nothing! -- KneeChee27 03:51, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
- In whatever time you find most convenient for yourself. I've not had a lot of time/inspiration to finish up the article the images are going to recently, so whenever. I do assure you they'll be put to goo use though. -RAHB 03:54, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
- Apparently 4:40 in the afternoon, on a Saturday, is the most convenient time for me. I think this should wrap it up. -- KneeChee27 23:46, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
- In whatever time you find most convenient for yourself. I've not had a lot of time/inspiration to finish up the article the images are going to recently, so whenever. I do assure you they'll be put to goo use though. -RAHB 03:54, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
- I get that a lot. I must be one unbelievably sexy dude, huh? Anyhoo, I'm sorry I couldn't get the coat-hanger one finished, too. Photoshop decided to be a total dick and kept automatically locking me out of my own layers. If I manage to find more free time, I'll try to get the last one done sometime within the next week or two. Of course, I promise nothing! -- KneeChee27 03:51, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
- Oh my God, I want to make love to you. Thank you thank you thank you. -RAHB 02:59, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
Complaint
Dude, why the hell did you keep deleting my Legion of Doom page? I'm new at editing on this site, and that dosen't mean you can delete just cause you don't find it funny. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 76.255.215.162 (talk • contribs)
- If you'd like to recreate it with a {{construction}} tag, I suppose that's fine, but you have to put forth some effort into making the article good. It has to be much longer than what you've been writing, and it has to be more than just a list of character traits of members, the traits not being funny at all. Read HTBFANJS and some of the other writing advice guides or find some sort of personal inspiration. I'll allow you to create and work on the article, but only if it's going to be of a certain degree of quality, and I'll be watching its development, and I'm sure the other administrators will agree with everything I've just said. So please, by all means, start it again. But make it good. Also, I recommend getting an account. Although it's not required, it makes you more distinguishable, and lets us know who does what around here. Also, sign your talk page posts with four tildes (~~~~). -RAHB 21:21, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
Yet another useless award
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Rabbi Techno awards you this lovely Mechanical Thing because you voted for something I wrote to be featured. Cheers! |
Editing
Hey man i was wondering if ud look over this article of a famous person where i lived its just a rough draft but id appriciate your input.--Tlawrence12 14:21, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
- Have you got a link to the article? -RAHB 14:23, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
- its on my userpage now its just a rough draft--Tlawrence12 14:35, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
- hey, could you also look mine over? I think I may have gone overboard with the desert theme and rattlesnakes on my page. thanks.-- Nobody19-I am SPECIAL 15:15, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
- Alright, I'll give you both a thorough look later on today. Unfortunately I'm at the college campus right now so I won't be able to check on anything for a few hours. You might also try UN:PEE for in depth or quick reviews if you like. -RAHB 15:33, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
- Hey, thanks, but if I take up too much time for you, I can find someone else to look mine over. I don't want to interrupt your time for study. Especially now that it's time for finals. Nobody19-I am SPECIAL 21:45, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
- Midterms here actually =) But I'll be home in about an hour. Like I said above though, UN:PEE is a place where you can post any article for review, and anyone on the site can go there and help you out. We've actually got a few people on the site who specialize in giving helpful reviews to other users through that method. If you'd like I can still take a look when I get back, but if you ever need a quicker response time or a particularly in depth look at your work, the above link is a great place to go for it. -RAHB 22:52, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
- Yes, that would be nice; I don't need in-depth, I need did I go overboard. I just don't know what other people think is funny. Thanks and good luck on your mid-terms. Nobody19-I am SPECIAL 23:02, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
- Midterms here actually =) But I'll be home in about an hour. Like I said above though, UN:PEE is a place where you can post any article for review, and anyone on the site can go there and help you out. We've actually got a few people on the site who specialize in giving helpful reviews to other users through that method. If you'd like I can still take a look when I get back, but if you ever need a quicker response time or a particularly in depth look at your work, the above link is a great place to go for it. -RAHB 22:52, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
- Hey, thanks, but if I take up too much time for you, I can find someone else to look mine over. I don't want to interrupt your time for study. Especially now that it's time for finals. Nobody19-I am SPECIAL 21:45, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
- Alright, I'll give you both a thorough look later on today. Unfortunately I'm at the college campus right now so I won't be able to check on anything for a few hours. You might also try UN:PEE for in depth or quick reviews if you like. -RAHB 15:33, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
- hey, could you also look mine over? I think I may have gone overboard with the desert theme and rattlesnakes on my page. thanks.-- Nobody19-I am SPECIAL 15:15, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
- its on my userpage now its just a rough draft--Tlawrence12 14:35, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
William Jennings Bryan
Hi RAHB, Would you mind telling me why William Jennings Bryan was deleted. Granted he was a bad politician, but he is most certainly noteworthy enough to be included into the uncyclopedia. A simple explanation for the deletion would be greatly appreciated (don't forget to call me a complete noob). Thanks, Arbitrarily0 00:57, 6 May 2009 (UTC)
- I'd love to call you a complete noob (believe me, I'd really love to), but I can't bring myself to do it based on your civility and ability to properly phrase an English sentence. The article was deleted because it was very short. If you like, you can recreate it, and put a {{construction}} tag on it while you're still working on it, or even better yet, create the page in your "userspace" at User:Arbitrarily0/William Jennings Bryan, where you can work on it as long as you like without the possibility of it getting deleted. I'm sure you'll make an article that's just fine, it just needs to be longer than two or three sentences. Preferably much longer than two or three sentences. When you finish it up, you can remove the construction tag (if you're working in the mainspace) or move the userpage to mainspace (if you're working in userspace, obviously). If you've got any questions, feel free to ask. And thanks for the manner in which you approached me...you fucking noob =) -RAHB 03:29, 6 May 2009 (UTC)
- =D Thanks for the note RAHB - would you mind restoring it for me so that I can try to expand it? If you want, you can put it in my sandbox and I'll work on it from there. Thanks you l337-n0n-n00B. :D Arbitrarily0 23:22, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
- Done! Good luck on everything! -RAHB 03:41, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks again! Arbitrarily0 21:06, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
- Done! Good luck on everything! -RAHB 03:41, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
- =D Thanks for the note RAHB - would you mind restoring it for me so that I can try to expand it? If you want, you can put it in my sandbox and I'll work on it from there. Thanks you l337-n0n-n00B. :D Arbitrarily0 23:22, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost is proud to present its 1st Anniversary Special
Now Delivered Trendily Late!
May 5th, 2009 • First Anniversary Issue! • Disdaining news in favour of blatant self-promotion
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Self-Proclaimed Greatest Newspaper on the Wiki Reaches First Birthday
 The early issues were churned out at a great rate by the founding editors, and Cajek was so enthused by the project that he suggested to Skullthumper that they should move to a twice-weekly release - fortunately, this suggestion was shot down in flames by the doc, or the paper may never have celebrated a second month, let alone a full year! Skullthumper was first to leave the Signpost behind for pastures new, perhaps feeling his work was already done. Looking back nostalgically now at those heady early days, Skull exclusively observed: "Well! Working on the UnSignpost in the beginning was a really fun experience, not gonna lie. Cajek and I were both super excited about it. I'm glad it existed through to today, entirely by the help of other people. The setup was seriously the most fun part. We had NO clue what we were doing, we were experimenting with formatting, content, and a bot that only worked half the time. To summarize: It kicked ass. I had no idea it was about a year ago that it started."  With only Cajek powering it, the Signpost forged onwards, but was beginning to run into troubled waters - even Cajek's legendary enthusiasm was beginning to founder, and when he began to struggle for time, he asked DJ Irreverent to take the helm. We asked Cajek for a nostalgic comment about the Signpost, but he was unavailable, so instead here's a random line from one of his articles: "Also, don't be surprised if you go to jail for what society deems "gross", "horrible", and "Satanic": it's all part of being an ant keeper... and an ant "watcher"". The DJ managed to steady the ship (how long can we sustain this metaphor?), but struggled to handle the torch he'd been passed by his adopter (looks like we didn't sustain it very long - never mind!). Asked to comment on this turbulent period, the DJ exclusively remarked: "I dropped said torch like a ton of bricks as a good child should always do. I could not take on the family business, I needed to dance. Anyway, I wrote about 2 articles".  So the pattern of users taking over the paper, only to burn out and abandon it again was becoming well established. Next in the editor's chair was UU, who lasted about 6 issues, before becoming so overwhelmed by the pressures of the paper that he went and got married in order to have a good excuse to get away from it for a few weeks. Recalling those halcyon days, UU told us exclusively: "I love the Signpost, and have had a great time working on it. It does get in the way of writing real articles though, as some users might testify, and it can be a pain to come up with stories each week - hopefully this issue might spark a few people to put some more ideas in the press room".  Fortunately, UU had taken the foresighted step of questioning the staying power of one Gerrycheevers in a previous issue's "comeback of the week" box, and Gerry was so determined to prove he had what it took, that he took over the paper while UU swanned off around the world. Cheevers's time at the helm brought such classic issues as the all-kitten issue, and his exclusive dewy-eyed remembrances run thusly: "I'm proud for having successfully stolen this periodical from Cajek and Skull, and I look forward to many more years of turning forums into news stories, dredging up old features that nobody cares about, and of course making tedious Cajek ban jokes. I also demand a raise and Cajek's office!"  Unfortunately, Cheevers's staying power lived up to UU's expectations, and Gerry took another small break. UU returned to the paper, and frantically enlisted contributions from the likes of Orian57 and Heerenveen to keep the wheels of news turning smoothly. Asked for comment on his input, Orian exclusively told us: "It's a been a great help in bonding together this community. And it's made things more interesting, what with everyone trying to do news worthy things just to get their names in the paper. Or something, I can't manufacture funny under pressure and this is pressure because you're gonna put this in the paper just to humiliate me now, aren't you?". Hv, meanwhile, exclusively commented: "It's amazing that our wonderful newspaper has lasted for so long, especially when you figure Gerrycheevers has been fully back on board since early this year, UU is still hanging around in between banning people and huffing stuff, and with other contributors still pitching in, plus a plentiful supply of Cajek bans to use as padding (see next story), it looks like the immediate future of the paper is in Wish we'd gotten a quote from Cajek though. Bastard. Cajek 100 Ban Extravaganza During the very same week that Uncyclopedia's most well-known journalism source (suck it, UnNews!) celebrates its first birthday with much cake and punch, one of its co-founders achieved his own personal milestone by being banned for the one hundredth time. Rumors of making Cajek an admin when he reached the milestone have thus far not proven to be true, although he may have magically gained sysop powers upon entering triple-digit territory and we just won't know it until he comes back from wherever he's hiding in a hailstorm of admin-related activity (whatever it is that they do). The milestone was reached largely thanks to users such as Sockpuppet of an unregistered user, who took to the streets in a grassroots effort to raise awareness, and Gerrycheevers, who went directly to certain sysops with demonstrably active bansticks pleading for a "Cajek-whooping." The landmark 100th ban was achieved yesterday, with the good Dr. Skullthumper blocking Cajek with an expiry time of "a milestone". The UnSignpost would like to congratulate Cajek, and also plead for his return. Cajek was unavailable for comment, and this reporter was once again chased off of the grounds of the Cajek Mansion, this time by the abstract philosophical concept of existentialism. From the desk of the Cabal Special
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| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | |||||||||
Hand-delivered by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:33, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Hello
I'd just like to tell you that my intentions are totally benign, it's just that a couple of close friends of mine (suzyqrn & random IP address) decided my old post should be highlighted — honestly, I thought it would be pretty interesting to see my stupid page on the front of uncyclopedia, too. I'm sorry if suzyqrn was to persistent w/ voting & I'm sorry that random IP address person created another nomination for Ultra diabetes. Anyway, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding.
I hope all is well with you! – Preceding unsigned comment added by Herrow (talk • contribs)
- And I'm sorry for making a joke about your username. It was rather tasteless of me. I do hope your article gets featured although I'm not changing my vote.
- And Heya, Rahb. Wasa happenin hotstuff? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 05:45, 9 May 2009
- Just getting hotter and hotter by the minute, wallowing in how hot I am. What about you, southern Californian princess? -RAHB 06:29, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
- Actually, I'm chillin in norcal now. Let me fix that map... ~Formerly Annoying Crap 16:39, 9 May 2009
- Norcal? Peh! All they've got up there are farms and mountains. Admittedly, the two in one place provide a uniquely varied experience. But variations on boredom really defeat the purpose of variations. -RAHB 21:56, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
- San Francisco to be exact... I don't really see many farms or mountains 'round my neck of the woods. And where in California is Shithole, anyways? Is that even remotely near Buttfuck, California? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 01:06, 10 May 2009
- Norcal? Peh! All they've got up there are farms and mountains. Admittedly, the two in one place provide a uniquely varied experience. But variations on boredom really defeat the purpose of variations. -RAHB 21:56, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
- Actually, I'm chillin in norcal now. Let me fix that map... ~Formerly Annoying Crap 16:39, 9 May 2009
- Just getting hotter and hotter by the minute, wallowing in how hot I am. What about you, southern Californian princess? -RAHB 06:29, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
A (admittedly rather pointless) favour
You huffed La Fille Aux Cheveux De Lin (The Girl With the Flaxen Hair) a little while back. This article was the stub that I expanded into Claude Debussy. I was just wondering if you'd be so kind as to put it back and then redirect it to the new version, just so that the original author can get some credit in the history. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey) 14:20, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
Defender of the Wiki Barnstar!
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The Defender of the Wiki Barnstar | |
| Thanks for blocking LOLOLOL --64.15.147.70 10:48, 10 May 2009 (UTC) |
- Thank you very much...for this...tremendous honor. -RAHB 10:51, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
- Now I'm trying to figure out how to upload this image
- Now it looks better 64.15.xx.xx 11:00, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
- Now I'm trying to figure out how to upload this image
FUCK YOU, ADMIN!
Stop deleting Captain Unobvious's stuff, you stupid-ass noob administrator. GTFO of here. *gives the administrator the finger* --(Unregistered User who Hates Administrators)
- Yes. This is the perfect method of getting me to restore your articles. Your genius knows no bounds. -RAHB 18:56, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
Pauley Shore
You huffed my Pauley Shore page a while back. could you have it redirect to the What's-his-name off that thing page instead? I am unsure how to do that. -localbandshow
- Could it be because you misspelled Pauly Shore? Colin
ALL YOUR BASEHeaney! Casa Bey Superfly Portfolio 00:40, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Hello
I'd like to suck your bitch ass fucking nigger dick. May I? ~ 07:30, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
- Yes. Suck it. Suck that bitch ass nigger dick. That tiny bitch ass nigger dick. -RAHB 07:35, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
FUCK YOU, ADMIN! I'd like to introduce myself
"You recently huffed my article, would you please put it back, as I was not quite finished with it?"
Didn't you wish the world worked more like this? 
(talk) 07:42, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
- It would be really nice, yeah. Though the IPs can be pretty entertaining sometimes. -RAHB 08:31, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Tweet
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Mr McElroy says thanks! his blog is teh funnies! 11:44pm May 14th from web tanks for teh voats! 11:45pm May 14th from web
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~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 
09:41 14 May 2009
RE: Article Named "Eric Rizzo"
Hey, I asked Captain Unobvious to create the article titled "Eric Rizzo," and I told him what to write. Is there any particular reason the article was deleted? I pulled up the page, and it says you deleted it. --The Great Rizzo
- Yes. It was very random, was about a person who it seems either doesn't exist, or is someone somebody knows personally, mentions cliche names like George Bush, was short, made zero sense, and had bad formatting. -RAHB 21:58, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost May 14th
The Newspaper Not Secretly Controlled By Mordillo, We Swear!
May 14th, 2009 • Issue 47 • And you will know our name is the UnSignpost when we lay our news upon you!
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Wales Speaks Exclusively to UnSignpost!
 When pressed on these vital issues, Jimbo confided to us: "You kids get offa my pipe! Now, where's my lawn?" These are words that every user will interpret in their own special way - Jimbo, like all great orators, has the ability to make profound pronouncements that each and every listener will put their own unique spin on, so that it seems he is talking to them alone. Whatever pearl of wisdom you find in this oracular utterance, we are sure it is exactly what you were intended to find. Crowning Acheevement
Rules < Funny: The Essay
 Is it a Usergroup if there are no Users Grouped in it?
 In January 2009, archaeologists from the Philippines dug through the ruins of the usergroups and found compelling evidence that there is still a small amount of activity in the UNSOC group, whose interim leader Necropaxx was heard to observe "UNSOC has about 3 or so active users right now; we just keep that gigantic list to inflate our numbers". The non-existent Cabal have not made any comment about this being a dastardly plan of theirs to ensure the "golden Age" of Uncyclopedia 2005-2007 remains sacrosanct. Because they don't exist, obviously. |
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Hand-delivered by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:50, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
Banned IP
Hi, i am a admin on the swedish uncyclopedia. I just wanted to say that we have just haved some heavy vandalism from the IP called 208.77.19.50. Do never let that IP in here. Critical Penguin 10:10, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
RAHB!
Dood! It's been forever! (What the hell is that thing at the top of your talkpage?) • <23:46 May 17, 2009>
- It most certainly has been forever. And that, my friend, is Killface. -RAHB 01:00, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
Thanks!
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Oi! My mate, Petie would just like to thank you! Why, only fuck knows, I’m just the messenger – don’t shoot me! Cos that’s the problem with you people, you’ve all got it out for us, just cos we don’t have jobs you think we’re like, or even are, the scum of the Earth! And we’re not, you know, we’re people too. Just because we don’t have your fancy foreign cars and, fuckin’, sued shoes or whatever. We’re only out of pocket because you’ve taken all the fuckin’ jobs first! If it bothers you so much why don’t you donate your job to Oxfam and we could pick it up for bargain prices? Eh? Bet you don’t like that idea though because then we’d be the ones looking down on you! you fucking, lazy, tax-stealing, jobless scum! |
~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 14:40 18 May 2009
Ello mate!
You probably hardly remember me, but I don't blame you. I would like you to read Welcome to Biscathorpe! and tell me if you think it is good for feature. I got a good review, so I was just wondering. ~ Readmesoon
Ambitious audio project
RAHB, you and I have a long history of doing great things with articles (we have yet to meet up in person and do great things in the sub-prime mortgage market). Do you have the energy to do one more audio for your pal? It's an article in the form of a script, and it's on VFH right now: half credit if you want to do the audio?
On another note, I came back for a while and I'm doing stuff again! • <17:24 May 20, 2009>
- Oh wait, you already knew that! Your talk page is enormous, UNLIKE YOUR... forget it. • <17:25 May 20, 2009>
- As much as I love doing audios for your articles (almost as much as I love offering financial advice for a six figure salary), I'm visiting my family right now and don't have any of my audio equipment. I will however do an audio for you if you don't mind it coming Monday or Tuesday night, as I'll have my audio equipment. In fact, I'll do you one better and do the audio from the audio lab at the university, with quality recording and mixing equipment! How do you like THEM apples! As always, since you wrote 100% of the article, I plan to give you 100% of the credit, unless I happen to be doing the sequel to Star Wars with this audio (though I neglected half credit on that one as well). So yes, I'll definitely be doing your article on Tuesday if that's alright. -RAHB 03:46, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
- Oh, Tuesday's a deal-breaker: I plan to fake my death by then... Aw, what the hell! It's one of my late night articles that, in my opinion, kinda went off the deep end: Unfomercials:Uncyclopedia Krazy Kemistry Set. Lots of room for special effects and voice modulation in that one, I think. It's way shorter than star wars J.O., so it shouldn't take too long. Spang, when he voted for it, said "someone should make this into a video", and I thought of you, even though your videos suck. Then I thought, "hey, maybe he could make an audio of this!" So yeah, Tuesday if you can: Thanks, RAHB! Awesomeness. • <3:53 May 21, 2009>
- Oh yeah. The last video I posted to youtube just had a song behind a static picture for three and a half minutes. However, I could definitely make you a good audio. And by using the school's lab, I plan to make the quality unsurpassable. You have no idea how awesome I plan on making this. I haven't even read the thing yet, but it's gonna be fucking brilliant. -RAHB 05:33, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
- Oh, well I hope you like it! It's definitely not S.W.J.O. It's more conversational style instead of "bang, here's a punchline" type of thing. If you have any ideas, hit me up on my talk page • <5:46 May 21, 2009>
- Oh yeah. The last video I posted to youtube just had a song behind a static picture for three and a half minutes. However, I could definitely make you a good audio. And by using the school's lab, I plan to make the quality unsurpassable. You have no idea how awesome I plan on making this. I haven't even read the thing yet, but it's gonna be fucking brilliant. -RAHB 05:33, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
- Oh, Tuesday's a deal-breaker: I plan to fake my death by then... Aw, what the hell! It's one of my late night articles that, in my opinion, kinda went off the deep end: Unfomercials:Uncyclopedia Krazy Kemistry Set. Lots of room for special effects and voice modulation in that one, I think. It's way shorter than star wars J.O., so it shouldn't take too long. Spang, when he voted for it, said "someone should make this into a video", and I thought of you, even though your videos suck. Then I thought, "hey, maybe he could make an audio of this!" So yeah, Tuesday if you can: Thanks, RAHB! Awesomeness. • <3:53 May 21, 2009>
- As much as I love doing audios for your articles (almost as much as I love offering financial advice for a six figure salary), I'm visiting my family right now and don't have any of my audio equipment. I will however do an audio for you if you don't mind it coming Monday or Tuesday night, as I'll have my audio equipment. In fact, I'll do you one better and do the audio from the audio lab at the university, with quality recording and mixing equipment! How do you like THEM apples! As always, since you wrote 100% of the article, I plan to give you 100% of the credit, unless I happen to be doing the sequel to Star Wars with this audio (though I neglected half credit on that one as well). So yes, I'll definitely be doing your article on Tuesday if that's alright. -RAHB 03:46, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
Uh, well Rahb, it got featured without your awesome audio, however I still think, if you read Unfomercials:Uncyclopedia Krazy Kemistry Set and like it, you might want to do this audio. • <9:59 May 23, 2009>
- Yeah, I figured that might happen. Well, I did read it though, and I still plan on doing the audio. I'd be working on it as we speak if the sound card on the computer I'm using while visiting my mom wasn't utter shit. Anyways, next week I'll totally have it. Just like all those other audios I said I'd totally have, except for real this time. -RAHB 10:05, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
- You're really reliable on audios, Rob. BTW, I loved the audio for Serious, so don't bother with that. The thing you did for SWJO was... just epic: like Oscar quality. When you do audios, you add a flavor to the articles that couldn't be articulated in words. You are a master of both comedy and sound. There, enough love-fest! • <10:11 May 23, 2009>
- You see, you think this about my old audios (and rightfully so, because it is true). But you haven't even seen the new Rob yet! Eight months of audio school and access to thousands of dollars worth of audio equipment has given me the edge I need to RULE THE WORLD!!! And make stuff. Heh. Stuff. -RAHB 10:15, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
- So long as there are lots and lots... and lots of kazoos, I'll be happy! • <10:35 May 23, 2009>
- You see, you think this about my old audios (and rightfully so, because it is true). But you haven't even seen the new Rob yet! Eight months of audio school and access to thousands of dollars worth of audio equipment has given me the edge I need to RULE THE WORLD!!! And make stuff. Heh. Stuff. -RAHB 10:15, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
- You're really reliable on audios, Rob. BTW, I loved the audio for Serious, so don't bother with that. The thing you did for SWJO was... just epic: like Oscar quality. When you do audios, you add a flavor to the articles that couldn't be articulated in words. You are a master of both comedy and sound. There, enough love-fest! • <10:11 May 23, 2009>
A MESSAGE FROM THE FILIPINO EMPIRE
Dear RAHB,
We wanted to revive the usergroups. Are you interested in doing that? It would be as easy as reviving Imperial Colonisation. Also, I really need someone to help on my articles. And here are your presents from the Filipino Empire for your recognition of your work as admin, humourist et al.:
| SUPERULTRAMEGAHYPERUNIVERSAL JUMBOTRON |
|---|
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In return, are you interestied in joining the Goa Tse Clan? 
|Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Pinoy CUN|IC Kill 
| 10:13, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
- Oh wow, that TV is showing Death Note. I LOVE Death Note. However, I unfortunately do not love usergroups. And I have no interest in joining and/or resurrecting them. I also usually don't even find enough time to finish my own articles, but if you have something you need help on, you can always ask me I guess. I can't guarantee I'll be able to help though. -RAHB 23:23, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
- The picture of the Etch-a-Sketch showing the artwork Drawing Hands is your gift, that's all, for writing User:RAHB/Shit A Shitter Paradox. And my Vice-President's penis is bigger than yours.
|Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Pinoy CUN|IC Kill 
| 09:46, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
- The picture of the Etch-a-Sketch showing the artwork Drawing Hands is your gift, that's all, for writing User:RAHB/Shit A Shitter Paradox. And my Vice-President's penis is bigger than yours.
UnSignpost May 21st
Now with 20% more ninjas!
May 21st, 2009 • Issue 48 • I've seen news you... people wouldn't believe
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Glorious Cajek return story
 People disappearing, people reappearing, people with little time on their hands, bots unavailable  In the mean time, fortunately, several other users have made glorious returns to Uncyclopedia. As documented elsewhere, a Cajek is apparently back and doing stuff. MNM5150 has been doing some things around places, mostly the forums. Readmesoon has been spotted at VFH and a few talkpages. Yettie has been sporadically active. And Todd Lyons has been doing more stuff recently than he was doing less recently.  A lot of users seem to be unable to contribute as their work/school requires them to spend their time on "useful" things. The more young adult users/little kids seem to be struggling with certain "finals", like Mahm00shA for instance. SysRq appears to be working on his graduation. Statistics show that Hyperbole's activity has been rather low, but recently increased dramatically. For how long this trend will continue is uncertain. UU has been here intermittently, but keeps proclaiming himself to be "busy". He commented "I don't have time. In fact, I may not even have time for banning and deleting today, things are going fucking nuts! [...] I have teetering mounds of work, and nowhere near enough time! Arrrrrgh! (I almost feel a second exclamation mark coming on, but nothing's that bad...)" He then proved himself to be a big fat liar by editing this story and various other bits of the UnSignpost.  Additionally, while Wikipedia is being overrun by bots, they seem to have gone completely extinct on Uncyclopedia. This has led to our beloved Socky becoming partly mechanized in order to fill the role of paperbot. However, he is currently planning to get his bot operational so he won't have to tire his arse off every week. Porn! Porn! Pr0n!
There has been somewhat of a controversy as of lately about the existence of supposed pornographic images on Uncyclopedia. Some support the view "Only if it's funny.", while others say "Meh." The controversy led Orian57 to put all his gay porn on QVFD. Optimuschris was quoted saying "I don't know what the fuss is all about, there's no porn on Uncyclopedia!" The discussion seems to have concluded in something like "If it's really bothering you and isn't funny in any way, delete it!" Mnbvcxz might also want to add that pictures showing prominent nudity could give rise to some legal issues, though he wasn't actually available for comment, so we can't really be sure. Usergroups! Usergroups! Usergroups!
 War is raging in usergroup land. IC, suffering major losses, has been grinded to a halt and was forced into defensive strategy, regressing to trench warfare. But UNSOC, with masses of new recruits, has declared an all out war against any potential competition. Meanwhile, a new powerful group has arisen, Der Unwehr, and they have established themselves as a force to be reckoned with. The Goa Tse Clan has gone into hiding and remains a mystery to most Uncyclopedians. "The End" is being foretold once more
Since this UnSignpost issue almost didn't make it to the press, it was inevitable that there would be foretellings of "The End" and it being "near". On Forum:Count to a million, Orian57 was found stating "we could all die [...] then how stupid would we look?" A lot of users made somewhat eccentric speculations on how several issues were related to this "impending doom". Multiliteralist, Cajek and Optimuschris posted the following "articles" in response to a request to write something for the UnSignpost. Porn and the impending doom As we all know, the impending doom to all good things is caused by porn. This vile practice of drawing pictures of naked women has spread so wide among our young men that it is almost impossible to get them to do anything else. User groups and the impending doom
No wai, the impending doom is caused by user groups! Impending doom and porn
Our porn! The usergroups are coming, and with them...impending doom! Treasure these last few mumble with your porn for the end is nigh! First person article about porn and impending doom I was in a usergroup, watching porn. Suddenly I understood watching porn in a usergroup would do nothing against the impending doom. I got rather stuck, and forgot the reason. Later, I forgot about the impending doom as well. That's what watching porn in a usergroup will do to you. Suddenly I understood: if you are the first person in a usergroup, nobody can make you watch porn. My advice
The perfect solution to problems with porn, usergroups, and the impending doom Form your own usergroup and make others watch porn! |
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Brought to you by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:31, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
Just a quick Question
Hey there, I got an e-mail saying that you deleted my page, although it's actually still there. I was just wondering what that was about? I saw that you had originally put a request for it to be expanded so I gave it a go! Sorry if it was that bad!! ImNotASunbeam 07:10, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
- Oh no no no, not at all. I deleted a page in your userspace that was a double redirect. Which means, essentially, a page that redirects to another page, that redirects to ANOTHER page. The first page is most commonly deleted or re-redirected to the third page in that equation. Nothing against your article, and it's still right where it needs to be, as you can see. What I did was merely another piece of monotonous administrator work. No worries. -RAHB 08:34, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
WTF STUPID ADMIN
WHY'D YOU DELETE MONTREAL CANADIENS?? Montreal Canadiens killed my parents: I still hear their laughter at night! Most people don't know where Canadia is, but I do! I learned very well that fateful night!! Please let me inform teh pbulic!!
- Sincerely, 04:30, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
- I know. I feel for your loss. I couldn't bear to see Montreal Canadiens running free after doing something so disastrous to your family. I had to do it. I had to kill Montreal Candiens... -RAHB 04:50, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
Thanks A bunch
Thanks for fixing a mistake i made with The grunt article --Iwillkillyou333 04:23, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
why was my article on longlevens banned- which rules did it break?
can you tell me as soon as possible, thanks – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
- It wasn't funny, it was about a local town, was innaccesible, and did I mention it wasn't funny? Name-droppy, inconsistent, and messy. -RAHB 08:51, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
- Got any ideas how i could make it funnier, or more consistent?. and i don't know what name-droppy means – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
- As a rule, I don't give out ideas much anymore, as too many people ask me for them. However, suggestions include making the formatting tidier, making the humor that which people outside the town can understand, and making the humor more than just "longlevens sucks." Also, better grammar is preferred. In short, make it more "professional." I can also restore the content to your userspace for you to work on if you don't have a copy backed up. -RAHB 09:03, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
- Oh, and "name-droppy" means using names of famous people often as a cop out for making a legitimate story of something. -RAHB 09:04, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
- thanks that would be really good. I'm sorry it wasn't up to standard. I am new so still learning the ropes. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
- Alright, I've moved the contents of it to your userspace at this link. You can use that naming scheme for unfinished articles in the future. I also tidied up the formatting a bit for you, you can take a look at the history to see what was changed. You also don't need to sign your articles, because your username shows up in the article history. You can take a look at some other articles, including the ones listed in the Featured Content page on the left, in order to get a better idea of how to format pages. That's about it then. Any other questions, just go ahead and ask. -RAHB 09:20, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
- How much work does this article need on it before it can be published? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
- To be perfectly honest, a lot. Were it me, I'd completely restart it, but I also know nothing about the topic. Do what feels best to you, but articles like HTBFANJS can help give you some hints on how to properly flesh out the article. I recommend reading that one. -RAHB 09:36, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
- Can you read it and tell me whether its at least marginally better? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
- I can give it a shot. -RAHB 10:19, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
- what do you think?- are there any categories that you find funny? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
- Uuuh, what do you mean exactly? -RAHB 10:28, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
- what i mean is. If it was published now would there be any bits that you would say are funny enough to remain published. And also are there any bits that are bad and would get it removed. And also ijust wondered if there were any bits that made you laugh – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
- Well, none of it really made me laugh, but to be fair, it takes a lot to genuinely make me laugh. And while there's nothing in the article that specifically goes against the rules, it's simply all been done before, and isn't very funny. You need to be original, do something outside the box, and keep things coherent as well. -RAHB 10:52, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
- what i mean is. If it was published now would there be any bits that you would say are funny enough to remain published. And also are there any bits that are bad and would get it removed. And also ijust wondered if there were any bits that made you laugh – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
- Uuuh, what do you mean exactly? -RAHB 10:28, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
- what do you think?- are there any categories that you find funny? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
- I can give it a shot. -RAHB 10:19, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
- Can you read it and tell me whether its at least marginally better? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
- To be perfectly honest, a lot. Were it me, I'd completely restart it, but I also know nothing about the topic. Do what feels best to you, but articles like HTBFANJS can help give you some hints on how to properly flesh out the article. I recommend reading that one. -RAHB 09:36, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
- How much work does this article need on it before it can be published? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
- Alright, I've moved the contents of it to your userspace at this link. You can use that naming scheme for unfinished articles in the future. I also tidied up the formatting a bit for you, you can take a look at the history to see what was changed. You also don't need to sign your articles, because your username shows up in the article history. You can take a look at some other articles, including the ones listed in the Featured Content page on the left, in order to get a better idea of how to format pages. That's about it then. Any other questions, just go ahead and ask. -RAHB 09:20, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
- thanks that would be really good. I'm sorry it wasn't up to standard. I am new so still learning the ropes. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
- Oh, and "name-droppy" means using names of famous people often as a cop out for making a legitimate story of something. -RAHB 09:04, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
- As a rule, I don't give out ideas much anymore, as too many people ask me for them. However, suggestions include making the formatting tidier, making the humor that which people outside the town can understand, and making the humor more than just "longlevens sucks." Also, better grammar is preferred. In short, make it more "professional." I can also restore the content to your userspace for you to work on if you don't have a copy backed up. -RAHB 09:03, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
- Got any ideas how i could make it funnier, or more consistent?. and i don't know what name-droppy means – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)