User:RAHB/Talk Archive 9

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Talk Archive 1 (2/28/07 - 7/6/07)Talk Archive 2 (7/6/07 - 9/8/07)
Talk Archive 3 (9/8/07 - 12/8/07)Talk Archive 4 (12/8/07 - 5/18/08)
Talk Archive 5 (5/18/08 - 7/12/08)Talk Archive 6 (7/12/08 - 8/20/08)
Talk Archive 7 (8/20/08 - 12/3/08)Talk Archive 8 (12/3/08 - 2/19/09)
Talk Archive 9 (2/19/09 - 5/25/09)Talk Archive 10 (5/25/09 - 10/26/09)
Talk Archive 11 (10/26/09 - 12/9/09)Talk Archive 12 (12/9/09 - 4/25/10)
Talk Archive 13 (4/25/10 - 8/26/10)Talk Archive 14 (8/26/10 - 8/13/11)
Talk Archive 15 (8/13/11 - 1/30/12)Talk Archive 16 (1/30/12 - 7/12/12)
Talk Archive 17 (7/12/12 - 1/10/13)Talk Archive 18 (1/10/13 - 7/11/13)
Talk Archive 19 (7/11/13 - 8/15/14)Talk Archive 20 (8/15/14 - 5/27/18)


Speedy Despoil

This talk page can no longer hold up its head in proper society. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 21:41, Feb 19

  • (cur) (last) 13:41, 19 February 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs | block) m (935 bytes) (whoosh!) (rollback | undo)
  • (cur) (last) 13:39, 19 February 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs | block) (760 bytes) ('chive) (undo)
Now that's some super service. -RAHB 21:43, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
Hey, what happened here? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 21:47, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
I believe I was just raped by a British-man -RAHB 21:57, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
I hope you found it as refined and genteel an experience as such a sordid matter can ever be. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 22:53, Feb 19
Oooo, "genteel." There's a word you don't hear every day. And in the context of rape, no less. -RAHB 23:25, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
Dammit, too late. One of these days I'll get you. Sir SysRq (talk) 23:01, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
One of these days, Alice... -RAHB 23:25, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
Yeah, yeah, right to the moon... Sir SysRq (talk) 00:00, 20 February 2009 (UTC)
And in the kisser to boot. -RAHB 00:06, 20 February 2009 (UTC)
Ah, old television shows. Is there anything more entertaining when you're drunk? That is, of course, other than getting head. But that's good all the time. Sir SysRq (talk) 00:11, 20 February 2009 (UTC)
Key words are it's good all the time, but entertaining when you're drunk. -RAHB 00:39, 20 February 2009 (UTC)
Yes. Plus, it's hilarious when you're outside in 15 degree weather. (Learned that one the hard way.) Sir SysRq (talk) 02:31, 20 February 2009 (UTC)

HOLY SHIT!!!

Yes, once again, I found time to actually write. Now as my record shows, I may not get to it for a few months, but... HOLY SHIT!!!!! There's no article on holy shit! Do you think you could help me? I might try to incorporate it with the Holy Grail in some manner. Anyway, what do you think of my new article?--Liz muffin 22:07, 19 February 2009 (UTC)

Oh yes, it's fantastic. Delightfully absurd. I'd think it should be expanded a little. Don't know how you'd really go about that, but as is it's pretty short. What's there is fantastic though, and the whole idea to begin with is of course great. As far as holy shit goes, I could probably help you out with it. It would have to be particularly good, considering the amount of run-of-the-mill religion-based articles we get, but I think you could pull it off. I think we have a few images around here somewhere that would go really well with it too. -RAHB 22:15, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
Well, I'm not sure how to expand it. Any ideas?--Liz muffin 22:46, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
I dunno really. Perhaps just go into greater detail with everything. Bigger words, longer sentences, or something of that nature. That bit's all up to you, I think it's good as is, I just want to make sure the article-tagging brigade doesn't take it down. -RAHB 23:26, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
Adding one or two categories is always a good idea. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 23:28, 19 February 2009 (UTC)

That freaked me out!

Just as I was messing with my css you do that! He. MrN MrN9000SouthParksmall.jpg 03:10, Feb 23

I love fucking with MediaWiki =) -RAHB 03:30, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

.

Where did that dot behind your name come from? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 10:31, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Oh, it's gone now. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 12:36, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
Hey, it's back! -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 22:05, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
Oh yeah, looks like some ass has something to prove to me. Thanks for reverting him while I was gone and such. -RAHB 22:37, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

pong.gif

Look! There's the dot again! Wait, now it's gone. Oh, it's back! Sir SysRq (talk) 23:00, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Um. Is this page Sysop protected? MrN MrN9000SouthParksmall.jpg 23:04, Feb 24
Am I an op? Sir SysRq (talk) 23:58, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
It's Sysop protected from moving. -RAHB 00:08, 25 February 2009 (UTC)


Tits

Cream of the tit

UnSignpost 26th February 09

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 11:24, Feb 26

I dare you to ban me.

See? I knew you wouldn't do it! =P Sir Not A Good Username360Stress.gif KUN 01:52, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

VFS

SAFPAS.png For your vote in VFS
You have been awarded a Certificate guaranteeing you safe passage within Uncyclopedia's borders if Zionist domination is eventually established.

Rabbi Techno

Truth

Please go away. You suck. Stop ruining this site with your crap.

Okay. -RAHB 07:59, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
I second that. Your crap is just such a site-ruiner. Sir SysRq (talk) 17:29, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
It really is. I hate myself and want to die. -RAHB 21:26, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
That sounds like a splendid idea. After all, nothing ruins a site quite like RAHB's crap. Sir SysRq (talk) 21:28, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
It does make excellent garden fertiliser however. Whoops, I have said to much. MrN MrN9000SouthParksmall.jpg 21:33, Mar 2
What, about you cracking open RAHB's septic tank once a week in the name of the Homeowner's Association? Whoops, now I've said too much. Sir SysRq (talk) 21:40, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
lol these are words 2 live by get out feggit

allo allo

Hm... Killface, eh? I like the claws, but mostly I love his accent. Thanks for welcoming me back, albeit with an ancient PC and no sound. Cheers! Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:59, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Oh fuck yes. The best of the pseudo-british voices. Did you know the same guy who voiced Killface voiced Xander? It's amazing, isn't it? I know. I just blew your mind. -RAHB 21:25, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 5th March 09

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 13:57, Mar 6

Um well I don't know if this is the right place to leave that damn message but are you still planning on adopting a noob? Because I am uber noob, and I need and adoptee before I do something idiotic like posting messages where they're not supposed to go. Cheers mate

please do delete that damn comment before I get sat upon... did I even put it in the right place? -NeveroddoreveN

really sorry!

UnSignpost 12th March 09

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 21:39, Mar 13

Cheers, mate!

Thanks for responding so quick! So what's the first thing I should do?

--NeveroddoreveN 12:16, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

In Gratitude

UnSignpost 19th March

MnbvcxzBot 05:24, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

hi

What do you think of The Woodburninator? It's for an article. --Docile hippopotamus 01:29, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Are you saying that you invented The Woodburninator for an article? You monster! You created an artificial life just so it could be exploited in writing?! I can't believe this! Here! In our very own Uncyclopedia! I never would have guessed it myself.
But yeah, he's an OK guy. -RAHB 13:31, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

PLS judging

I'm sending you this because you are signed up to judge the Poo Lit Surprise. If you no longer want to judge or are incapable of doing so, please tell me as soon as possible. If you're still good to go, here are the instructions:

First, read all of the articles in your specified category. Second, judge them. Judge how you like, as long as it's at least fair and based on merit (one suggestion would be to use the Pee Review format). Post your top 5 articles here. Hit me up on my talk page for questions, comments, if these rules are not cognisant within you, or of you don't know what the word "cognisant" means.

Thank you again for your valued participation in the balletic train wreck that is the Poo Lit Surprise! –—Hv (talk) 24/03 20:32

BRING IT ON YOU CYBORG SONS OF BITCHEEEEEESSSSS!!!!! -RAHB 21:54, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

Danke schön!

Guildensternenstein.jpg
Guildy.jpg
'FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN'

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article

Your support is greatly appreciated.

Guildensternenstein


Morning Mr. RAHB sir!

Just a suggestion - how about we suggest to the creator of Microwave ovens that his article would work better as a section of (the far superior) Microwave oven because it doesn't look as though it's likely to develop into anything worthwhile, does it? I was about to do exactly that when I noticed you'd added the ICU, so if you disagree and feel it's just about to burst forth with the gaudy blooms of hilarity no probs. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 08:57, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Well John, you know I can never say no to you. I'm also a lazy mother fucker, so I nominate you to suggest these suggestions that you suggest we suggest. I trust you can handle this mission with the utmost professionalism, Mr. Techno. This message will self destruct in 10 seconds. -RAHB 09:01, 27 March 2009 (UTC)
You can never say no, eh? In that case...*unzips trousers* Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 09:03, 27 March 2009 (UTC)
*sigh* Do your worst... -RAHB 09:08, 27 March 2009 (UTC)
You don't seem your usual enthusiastic self today - normally you're gagging for a bit of that red-hot rabbinical action. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 09:10, 27 March 2009 (UTC)
Oh, I'll be gagging soon enough, I assure you. -RAHB 09:11, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Meh

Quite shallow, my dear Watson. I claim victory in this round. ~Jewriken.GIF 09:58, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

It is not the battle, but the war that shall determine the victor, you rapscallion! -RAHB 10:01, 27 March 2009 (UTC)
I shall drag you by your penis to the seventh circle of hell!!!! ~Jewriken.GIF 11:46, 27 March 2009 (UTC)
I will stretch your anus until it becomes the seventh circle of hell! -RAHB 17:45, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 26th March 09

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 01:44, Mar 28

HEY FAGGOTRON!

HOW'S IT GOIN'?!?!?! --CHOAD SMOKER 5000 19:39, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

YOU SUCK DILDO COCKS WHAT'S NEW WITH YOU?!?!?! -FAGGOTRON 19:42, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
WELL MY BOYFRIEND JUST LEFT ME AND I'M AT THE END OF MY ROPE YOU FUCKING QUEEN! HELP! --CHOAD SMOKER 5000 20:03, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
LOL UR A GAYZ! -FAGGOTRON 20:33, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

Hey RAHB

I noticed you were around. That's awesome, because I need some help. Could you kindly oblige me and move User:IronLung/The Pet Goat to The Pet Goat, which is currently a redirect? IronLung 05:59, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

I can and I did. You do know that regular users can move pages though, right? -RAHB 06:01, 2 April 2009 (UTC)
Very efficient. Yeah I've moved pages before, and I tried to move it, but it would not let me for some reason, possibly because the other page already existed. I don't really understand this wiki malarky. Thanks for your help! IronLung 06:05, 2 April 2009 (UTC)
No problem. And it just came to me that the reason is that in order to move a page over another page, the other page has to be deleted first. So kindly disregard that, I suck cocks. -RAHB 06:06, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

March Foolitzer Prize

Betamax-tape.jpg
A VALUABLE COLLECTOR'S ITEM

which is sure to be worth a very great deal of money in the near future.
An original recording of an interview between UNNEWS and
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
in which he reveals the truth about aliens.
Unfortunately, it's on Betamax so you can't watch it.
Many thanks for voting for me in last month's Foolitzer Prize.
Rabbi Techno


UnSignpost 2nd April 09

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 17:56, Apr 2

For your vote...

Potatostab.jpg
The Great Potato Massacre
of March 2009

Thank you for supporting Sonje in her ruthless campaign for Potatochopper of the Month
A baby potato shall be mercilessly sacrificed
in your honour.

--Dame Sonjesig.pngCherry-blossom.gif 22:04, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

Just so you know...

As I just mentioned to Modus here... My comment over at VFS was not really intended to be for the other sysops, but more for users who will no-doubt be reading the page (for whatever reason). Hopefully my message will get a few more users watching RC which is really what we need... It's the new breasts you see. I'm just trying to keep abreast of things. MrN MrN9000SouthParksmall.jpg 14:51, Apr 4

Indeed, indeed. And as per Modus, my mention of recent changes was more relevant to my own comment, and less a reference to your comments. I agree with what you say, especially since regular users have all the requirements to revert vandalism (and can ask for rollback if they need it), without the mess of administration. Probably better that way. -RAHB 19:26, 4 April 2009 (UTC)
Y'all are talking bad about me again. Stop! --MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 20:52, 7 April 2009 (UTC)
I wasn't talking bad about you Dex. I could never do that. I was of course talking bad about Charitwo, as anybody can plainly see. -RAHB 00:29, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

press

hey rahb, as a cabalist, would you have any comment on the cabal's recnt decision to not accept cabal applications this month, the existence of the cabal, or puppies? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:35, 7 April 2009 (UTC)

I cannot confirm the non-existence of the non-existent cabal, being that it does not exist, and I'm no Harry Potter-reading fantasy boy. I can however confirm the existence of puppies. THEY'RE ADORABLE! -RAHB 00:28, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost April 9/10th, 2009

Hand-delivered by MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 22:17, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

In Graltitude

I just found out about you

Resonance-Assisted Hydrogen Bond. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 14:08, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

Oh God, my terrible secret has been revealed! -RAHB 21:16, 12 April 2009 (UTC)

Hey, you fuck

Why are you being such a fucking cunt? --Aljolson.jpg Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER Aljolson.jpg 01:13, 13 April 2009 (UTC)

That's not even remotely as important as what the fuck a "bastarb" is supposed to be. -RAHB 01:38, 13 April 2009 (UTC)

You should talk about penises

Yours truly. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 02:09, 14 April 2009 (UTC)

O'Brien

The page O'Brien Middle School was deleted because it was considered to be VANITY. Is there some way for me to post this article but not violate any rules? -Kluft 07:15, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

Probably not. You could make it more accessible I suppose, but I'm not sure how you'd go about doing that. It would also need to be more original, and quite frankly "my middle school is a death camp that brainwashes kids" is about the least original thing I've ever heard. Carefully read UN:VAIN and if you can think of some sort of way to write your article without breaking the rules, let me know. As far as I can tell, Uncyclopedia won't allow your article on our site. I could of course also suggest that you write about a number of other things, that don't break the rules. -RAHB 07:28, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

OK, I will try to make a careful rewrite so it does not violate any rules. -Kluft 22:41, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost April 16th, 2009

Hand-delivered by Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 15:50, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

Hmmmmmmm

I see you reverted my re-ICU'ing of TYATU, Episode 15. Have we reached a consensus, then, that

Gouncyclopedia!

is welcome to clog up the place with as much TYATU-related garbage as he sees fit? Or was I somehow out-of-process when I re-ICU'ed it? Is it like a 7-day thing where we should be disassembling the whole steaming pile of shit with VFD, one page at a time? Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 22:39, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

I frankly have no idea what's going on with this stuff. I thought it had been decided that it was being allowed as a "self-parody" thing. Then they told me they weren't sure. But the template still has the links in it. And...and...I'm so confused! -RAHB 22:41, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

Racine

You tagged the Racine article as needing more content. I completed the article, care to read? 24.167.214.53 03:44, 19 April 2009 (UTC)

11-Wide

11wide2.jpg

This was a quick turnaround but I think it works, at least for now. I found a pick of FLA running the unbalanced offense scheme and cloned everyone to the line of scrimmage.--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  11:37, 20 April 2009 (UTC)≈

Ah, fantastic! That's what I had done on the original image, and I'd only realized after having worked on it for a while that I'd gotten it all mixed up. I'll add yours to the article, and I think I'll move mine down to incorporate the "confused defense" suggestion someone else mentioned. Thanks muchly. -RAHB 19:36, 20 April 2009 (UTC)
I went ahead and did some work on 11-wide, just smoothing out the language and a little paragraph restructure for the ending - putting the fate of coach and squid boy at the very end. Speaking of the ending, I highly suggest removing the Rick R sentence in the end or adding to the article to set up the ending with Rick R because, at the moment, it just comes out of nowhere, kind of non-sequitur. Either way, I've voted Symbol for vote.svg For. and will blue-link it for you later.--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  18:49, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
Very good. I've been watching and appreciate what you've done with it. Something about this article has never been able to materialize as perfectly as I'd like in the way I've written it, and I think you've definitely helped out with it. I'd be willing to share the feature with you if it does in fact go that far. As far as the end line, I meant for it to be rather non-sequitor, a quick reference to television programs on ESPN that end similarly, but there has been a lot of suggestion in the past to change that bit around, and I believe I'll give into it. I'll try to think up a more appropriate ending during my next class and change it when I get back home. Or if you've got anything in mind, feel free to add it on as well. Cheers, and thanks again. -RAHB 19:12, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
Quickly (as I'm on the run), no credit necessary since it's kind of like the Billy Mays article. I add some but it's mostly restating the same material in a different form. It's shaping up well and looks like a weiner - that's what counts.--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  19:26, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
Well yes, the prose is one thing, but that in addition to the added image and overall support I felt warranted at least a mention. However you choose though. -RAHB 01:18, 22 April 2009 (UTC)

Penis

You have propably noticed my little UnJoke, UnJokes:Chicken Little, upon which you bestowed an expansion tag. Y'see, there is a forum on the Minstry of love about starting a portal for jokes (tiny articles) and shit, the conclusion was: I start it in my userspace and they wait to see how things turn out then they decide if it is going to be mainspaced. ...Fine, now that was a test/demo for the portal, and it technically failed, it didnt appear on the project's main page, categorization shit, I think. The moral of this novel is that I need help, YOUR help, with my little project. Also I dont want you tagging future unjokes with expansion tags. Your help would be appreciated, cheers! :) Mahm00shA 23:14, 21 April 2009 (UTC)

The logical progression seems to me to be having one page represent a certain category of jokes (for example: several variations of "why did the chicken cross the road?" or "jokes about cocks" or some such), and to have several of those pages, tightly regulated by the project leader. Several one-liner pages would look sloppy, be a sonofabitch to maintain, and likely yield about 90% shitty pages aside from those facts. I understand what you're going for and I see the place Uncyclopedia has for it, but devoting an individual page to every one-liner seems quite over the top. Something more like Undictionary seems like it would work better. That's my view of course, I haven't looked at the forum post so I'm not sure what the community's general response to it was. But I do have to guarantee that until we've got some sort of rules put forth for the namespace, that I will continue to add expand tags to them, if for no other reason than to be able to keep a watch out and not lose several tiny little articles within the bowels of the site, unlinked from elsewhere. -RAHB 01:23, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
ok, what is the trick for making new unjokes appear automatically on the project's page? Mahm00shA 07:52, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
DPLs I believe. Have a chat with Spang or Skullthumper, they're the techies around here. I hope the future jokes are going to be better though O_O ~Jewriken.GIF 08:56, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
will do, thanks dawg ;) oh, and thank you for the... compliment Mahm00shA 09:34, 22 April 2009 (UTC)

DOOKIE

Hey, you tagged my D.O.O.K.I.E article, and I've since spruced it up, so I'd appreciate it if you checked it out again. DementedlyHappy 01:26, 23 April 2009 (UTC)

I've removed the tag now, but it could still use a little bit of cleanup here and there. I particularly recommend taking the list at the end out. It's useless and cliche, and doesn't really add to the article. Other than that, if you could make a sweep and reread the article, and try to pick up any grammatical mistakes, that would be great. -RAHB 06:17, 23 April 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 23rd April 09

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb.png HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 22:24, Apr 23

Images for Dimentio

I don't know how to put images up here! I've clicked the image template, but I can't seem to select an image source. So... I guess I can't add any images. Let's hope anyone who knows how to does. Also, are images typically relevant or irrelevant to the article? Ghostkaiba297 20:32, 24 April 2009 (UTC)

OK, I've done that, I tried an image on Paint, but it said the file was corrupt or had an incorrect extention... what does that mean?

Uncyc said that, or paint did? It usually means you have the wrong name for something. That or the file is actually fucked and you have to create a new one. -RAHB 21:20, 24 April 2009 (UTC)

.

Hey why did u delete?

You'll have to be monumentally more specific than that if you expect an answer of any sort of degree of helpfulness. -RAHB 06:48, 28 April 2009 (UTC)
the super mario bros z article why delete?
Because it was shit. -RAHB 06:53, 28 April 2009 (UTC)
dont this site acept shit?
Only if it's in the toilet. As is, articles are not classified officially as toilets. We are, however, working on getting it done. -RAHB 07:06, 28 April 2009 (UTC)
I'd like to put your penis in a meat grinder. How's THAT for a specific request? ~Jewriken.GIF 07:45, 28 April 2009 (UTC)
It's a fantastic one, if you've been drinking. -RAHB 07:56, 28 April 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! 1st Anniversary Special!!!

Hand delivered by MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 22:27, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

I've got a delivery for a Mister... Ray-hub?

Sign Here: X__________
Your banana jacket.

Here's that Banana Jacket you ordered — complete with snake-holding trapeze artist and everything. Unfortunately, I regret to inform you that the second half of your purchase (a Banana Jacket on a coat hanger) is on back-order at the moment — it is, as I'm sure you are fully aware, a very popular item in high demand. I assure you, however, that as soon as we get some more in stock, we'll have our warehouse ship it right over. -- KneeChee27 01:37, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh my God, I want to make love to you. Thank you thank you thank you. -RAHB 02:59, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
I get that a lot. I must be one unbelievably sexy dude, huh? Anyhoo, I'm sorry I couldn't get the coat-hanger one finished, too. Photoshop decided to be a total dick and kept automatically locking me out of my own layers. If I manage to find more free time, I'll try to get the last one done sometime within the next week or two. Of course, I promise nothing! -- KneeChee27 03:51, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
In whatever time you find most convenient for yourself. I've not had a lot of time/inspiration to finish up the article the images are going to recently, so whenever. I do assure you they'll be put to goo use though. -RAHB 03:54, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
Apparently 4:40 in the afternoon, on a Saturday, is the most convenient time for me. I think this should wrap it up. -- KneeChee27 23:46, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
BRILLIANT! That's the best one yet! I might have to nominate this one for VFP! Thank you kindly, sir. -RAHB 00:18, 3 May 2009 (UTC)

Complaint

Dude, why the hell did you keep deleting my Legion of Doom page? I'm new at editing on this site, and that dosen't mean you can delete just cause you don't find it funny. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 76.255.215.162 (talk • contribs)

If you'd like to recreate it with a {{construction}} tag, I suppose that's fine, but you have to put forth some effort into making the article good. It has to be much longer than what you've been writing, and it has to be more than just a list of character traits of members, the traits not being funny at all. Read HTBFANJS and some of the other writing advice guides or find some sort of personal inspiration. I'll allow you to create and work on the article, but only if it's going to be of a certain degree of quality, and I'll be watching its development, and I'm sure the other administrators will agree with everything I've just said. So please, by all means, start it again. But make it good. Also, I recommend getting an account. Although it's not required, it makes you more distinguishable, and lets us know who does what around here. Also, sign your talk page posts with four tildes (~~~~). -RAHB 21:21, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
I'd like to, but you have it on this protection thing, and I can't access it. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 76.255.215.162 (talk • contribs)
Ah, sorry about that. Forgot I did that. It should be all ready to go now. And remember what I said about the tildes. -RAHB 02:52, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

Yet another useless award

Mechthing.jpg Rabbi Techno awards you this lovely Mechanical Thing
because you voted for something I wrote to be featured.
Cheers!


Editing

Hey man i was wondering if ud look over this article of a famous person where i lived its just a rough draft but id appriciate your input.--Tlawrence12 14:21, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

Have you got a link to the article? -RAHB 14:23, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
its on my userpage now its just a rough draft--Tlawrence12 14:35, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
hey, could you also look mine over? I think I may have gone overboard with the desert theme and rattlesnakes on my page. thanks.-- Nobody19-I am SPECIAL 15:15, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
Alright, I'll give you both a thorough look later on today. Unfortunately I'm at the college campus right now so I won't be able to check on anything for a few hours. You might also try UN:PEE for in depth or quick reviews if you like. -RAHB 15:33, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
Hey, thanks, but if I take up too much time for you, I can find someone else to look mine over. I don't want to interrupt your time for study. Especially now that it's time for finals. Nobody19-I am SPECIAL 21:45, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
Midterms here actually =) But I'll be home in about an hour. Like I said above though, UN:PEE is a place where you can post any article for review, and anyone on the site can go there and help you out. We've actually got a few people on the site who specialize in giving helpful reviews to other users through that method. If you'd like I can still take a look when I get back, but if you ever need a quicker response time or a particularly in depth look at your work, the above link is a great place to go for it. -RAHB 22:52, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
Yes, that would be nice; I don't need in-depth, I need did I go overboard. I just don't know what other people think is funny. Thanks and good luck on your mid-terms. Nobody19-I am SPECIAL 23:02, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

William Jennings Bryan

Hi RAHB, Would you mind telling me why William Jennings Bryan was deleted. Granted he was a bad politician, but he is most certainly noteworthy enough to be included into the uncyclopedia. A simple explanation for the deletion would be greatly appreciated (don't forget to call me a complete noob). Thanks, Arbitrarily0 00:57, 6 May 2009 (UTC)

I'd love to call you a complete noob (believe me, I'd really love to), but I can't bring myself to do it based on your civility and ability to properly phrase an English sentence. The article was deleted because it was very short. If you like, you can recreate it, and put a {{construction}} tag on it while you're still working on it, or even better yet, create the page in your "userspace" at User:Arbitrarily0/William Jennings Bryan, where you can work on it as long as you like without the possibility of it getting deleted. I'm sure you'll make an article that's just fine, it just needs to be longer than two or three sentences. Preferably much longer than two or three sentences. When you finish it up, you can remove the construction tag (if you're working in the mainspace) or move the userpage to mainspace (if you're working in userspace, obviously). If you've got any questions, feel free to ask. And thanks for the manner in which you approached me...you fucking noob =) -RAHB 03:29, 6 May 2009 (UTC)
=D Thanks for the note RAHB - would you mind restoring it for me so that I can try to expand it? If you want, you can put it in my sandbox and I'll work on it from there. Thanks you l337-n0n-n00B. :D Arbitrarily0 23:22, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
Done! Good luck on everything! -RAHB 03:41, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
Thanks again! Arbitrarily0 21:06, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost is proud to present its 1st Anniversary Special


Hand-delivered by Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 18:33, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Hello

I'd just like to tell you that my intentions are totally benign, it's just that a couple of close friends of mine (suzyqrn & random IP address) decided my old post should be highlighted — honestly, I thought it would be pretty interesting to see my stupid page on the front of uncyclopedia, too. I'm sorry if suzyqrn was to persistent w/ voting & I'm sorry that random IP address person created another nomination for Ultra diabetes. Anyway, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding.

I hope all is well with you! – Preceding unsigned comment added by Herrow (talk • contribs)

And I'm sorry for making a joke about your username. It was rather tasteless of me. I do hope your article gets featured although I'm not changing my vote.
And Heya, Rahb. Wasa happenin hotstuff? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 05:45, 9 May 2009
Just getting hotter and hotter by the minute, wallowing in how hot I am. What about you, southern Californian princess? -RAHB 06:29, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
Actually, I'm chillin in norcal now. Let me fix that map... ~Formerly Annoying Crap 16:39, 9 May 2009
Norcal? Peh! All they've got up there are farms and mountains. Admittedly, the two in one place provide a uniquely varied experience. But variations on boredom really defeat the purpose of variations. -RAHB 21:56, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
San Francisco to be exact... I don't really see many farms or mountains 'round my neck of the woods. And where in California is Shithole, anyways? Is that even remotely near Buttfuck, California? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 01:06, 10 May 2009
Ah, I see. You're not in northern California. You're in just northern California. Which is an all right place. Shithole, California is actually in Corona (which is fairly close to Buttfuck), but now I live in Los Angeles. -RAHB 01:23, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

A (admittedly rather pointless) favour

You huffed La Fille Aux Cheveux De Lin (The Girl With the Flaxen Hair) a little while back. This article was the stub that I expanded into Claude Debussy. I was just wondering if you'd be so kind as to put it back and then redirect it to the new version, just so that the original author can get some credit in the history. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  14:20, 9 May 2009 (UTC)

Done. -RAHB 21:54, 9 May 2009 (UTC)

Defender of the Wiki Barnstar!

WikiDefender Barnstar.png The Defender of the Wiki Barnstar
Thanks for blocking LOLOLOL --64.15.147.70 10:48, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Thank you very much...for this...tremendous honor. -RAHB 10:51, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Now I'm trying to figure out how to upload this image
Now it looks better 64.15.xx.xx 11:00, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Ah, I see it now. Very good. Thanks again. -RAHB 11:00, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

FUCK YOU, ADMIN!

Stop deleting Captain Unobvious's stuff, you stupid-ass noob administrator. GTFO of here. *gives the administrator the finger* --(Unregistered User who Hates Administrators)

Yes. This is the perfect method of getting me to restore your articles. Your genius knows no bounds. -RAHB 18:56, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
I don't care about the article, you idiot. --(Unregistered User Who Hates Administrators) *gives the admin the finger and leaves for a very long time*
Fine by me. I'll still be here, not caring. -RAHB 19:09, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Pauley Shore

You huffed my Pauley Shore page a while back. could you have it redirect to the What's-his-name off that thing page instead? I am unsure how to do that. -localbandshow

Could it be because you misspelled Pauly Shore? Colin Explode fire.gifALL YOUR BASEExplode fire.gifHeaney! Casa Bey Superfly Portfolio 00:40, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
Regardless, I did the redirect. Everyone else except for me can sort out the rest. -RAHB 00:41, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Hello

I'd like to suck your bitch ass fucking nigger dick. May I? ~Jewriken.GIF 07:30, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Yes. Suck it. Suck that bitch ass nigger dick. That tiny bitch ass nigger dick. -RAHB 07:35, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

FUCK YOU, ADMIN! I'd like to introduce myself

"You recently huffed my article, would you please put it back, as I was not quite finished with it?"

Didn't you wish the world worked more like this? Jackofspades.png (talk) 07:42, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

It would be really nice, yeah. Though the IPs can be pretty entertaining sometimes. -RAHB 08:31, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Tweet

Twittergraffiti.jpg Mr McElroy says thanks!

his blog is teh funnies!

11:44pm May 14th from web

tanks for teh voats!

11:45pm May 14th from web

~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb.png ~Talk~ Gay sign.png 09:41 14 May 2009

RE: Article Named "Eric Rizzo"

Hey, I asked Captain Unobvious to create the article titled "Eric Rizzo," and I told him what to write. Is there any particular reason the article was deleted? I pulled up the page, and it says you deleted it. --The Great Rizzo

Yes. It was very random, was about a person who it seems either doesn't exist, or is someone somebody knows personally, mentions cliche names like George Bush, was short, made zero sense, and had bad formatting. -RAHB 21:58, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost May 14th

Hand-delivered by Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 18:50, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Banned IP

Hi, i am a admin on the swedish uncyclopedia. I just wanted to say that we have just haved some heavy vandalism from the IP called 208.77.19.50. Do never let that IP in here. Critical Penguin 10:10, 17 May 2009 (UTC)

I'll keep an eye out. Thank you. -RAHB 10:12, 17 May 2009 (UTC)

RAHB!

Dood! It's been forever! (What the hell is that thing at the top of your talkpage?)   Le Cejak <23:46 May 17, 2009>

It most certainly has been forever. And that, my friend, is Killface. -RAHB 01:00, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks!

Fatdrunkstupid.jpg Oi! My mate, Petie would just like to thank you!

Why, only fuck knows, I’m just the messenger – don’t shoot me! Cos that’s the problem with you people, you’ve all got it out for us, just cos we don’t have jobs you think we’re like, or even are, the scum of the Earth! And we’re not, you know, we’re people too. Just because we don’t have your fancy foreign cars and, fuckin’, sued shoes or whatever. We’re only out of pocket because you’ve taken all the fuckin’ jobs first! If it bothers you so much why don’t you donate your job to Oxfam and we could pick it up for bargain prices? Eh? Bet you don’t like that idea though because then we’d be the ones looking down on you! you fucking, lazy, tax-stealing, jobless scum!

~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb.png ~Talk~ Gay sign.png 14:40 18 May 2009

Ello mate!

You probably hardly remember me, but I don't blame you. I would like you to read Welcome to Biscathorpe! and tell me if you think it is good for feature. I got a good review, so I was just wondering. ~ Readmesoon

Ambitious audio project

RAHB, you and I have a long history of doing great things with articles (we have yet to meet up in person and do great things in the sub-prime mortgage market). Do you have the energy to do one more audio for your pal? It's an article in the form of a script, and it's on VFH right now: half credit if you want to do the audio?

On another note, I came back for a while and I'm doing stuff again!   Le Cejak <17:24 May 20, 2009>

Oh wait, you already knew that! Your talk page is enormous, UNLIKE YOUR... forget it.   Le Cejak <17:25 May 20, 2009>
As much as I love doing audios for your articles (almost as much as I love offering financial advice for a six figure salary), I'm visiting my family right now and don't have any of my audio equipment. I will however do an audio for you if you don't mind it coming Monday or Tuesday night, as I'll have my audio equipment. In fact, I'll do you one better and do the audio from the audio lab at the university, with quality recording and mixing equipment! How do you like THEM apples! As always, since you wrote 100% of the article, I plan to give you 100% of the credit, unless I happen to be doing the sequel to Star Wars with this audio (though I neglected half credit on that one as well). So yes, I'll definitely be doing your article on Tuesday if that's alright. -RAHB 03:46, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
Oh, Tuesday's a deal-breaker: I plan to fake my death by then... Aw, what the hell! It's one of my late night articles that, in my opinion, kinda went off the deep end: Unfomercials:Uncyclopedia Krazy Kemistry Set. Lots of room for special effects and voice modulation in that one, I think. It's way shorter than star wars J.O., so it shouldn't take too long. Spang, when he voted for it, said "someone should make this into a video", and I thought of you, even though your videos suck. Then I thought, "hey, maybe he could make an audio of this!" So yeah, Tuesday if you can: Thanks, RAHB! Awesomeness.   Le Cejak <3:53 May 21, 2009>
Oh yeah. The last video I posted to youtube just had a song behind a static picture for three and a half minutes. However, I could definitely make you a good audio. And by using the school's lab, I plan to make the quality unsurpassable. You have no idea how awesome I plan on making this. I haven't even read the thing yet, but it's gonna be fucking brilliant. -RAHB 05:33, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
Oh, well I hope you like it! It's definitely not S.W.J.O. It's more conversational style instead of "bang, here's a punchline" type of thing. If you have any ideas, hit me up on my talk page   Le Cejak <5:46 May 21, 2009>

Uh, well Rahb, it got featured without your awesome audio, however I still think, if you read Unfomercials:Uncyclopedia Krazy Kemistry Set and like it, you might want to do this audio.   Le Cejak <9:59 May 23, 2009>

Yeah, I figured that might happen. Well, I did read it though, and I still plan on doing the audio. I'd be working on it as we speak if the sound card on the computer I'm using while visiting my mom wasn't utter shit. Anyways, next week I'll totally have it. Just like all those other audios I said I'd totally have, except for real this time. -RAHB 10:05, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
You're really reliable on audios, Rob. BTW, I loved the audio for Serious, so don't bother with that. The thing you did for SWJO was... just epic: like Oscar quality. When you do audios, you add a flavor to the articles that couldn't be articulated in words. You are a master of both comedy and sound. There, enough love-fest!   Le Cejak <10:11 May 23, 2009>
You see, you think this about my old audios (and rightfully so, because it is true). But you haven't even seen the new Rob yet! Eight months of audio school and access to thousands of dollars worth of audio equipment has given me the edge I need to RULE THE WORLD!!! And make stuff. Heh. Stuff. -RAHB 10:15, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
So long as there are lots and lots... and lots of kazoos, I'll be happy!   Le Cejak <10:35 May 23, 2009>
Oh, you don't have to worry about that. Mwahahahahaha....MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!.....MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! -RAHB 10:41, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
I could rewrite the article on kazoos... Would that get you to stop laughing in my face? I'm trying to eat this poptart, and you're making me uncomfortable.   Le Cejak <11:34 May 23, 2009>
A pop tart, eh?....mwahahah....WAHAHAH.....MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! -RAHB 18:55, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

A MESSAGE FROM THE FILIPINO EMPIRE

Dear RAHB,

We wanted to revive the usergroups. Are you interested in doing that? It would be as easy as reviving Imperial Colonisation. Also, I really need someone to help on my articles. And here are your presents from the Filipino Empire for your recognition of your work as admin, humourist et al.:

Eschersketch.jpg HDTV DeathNote.gif JOE9320 BANNER.gif Loyola basq.JPG

SUPERULTRAMEGAHYPERUNIVERSAL JUMBOTRON
Dinner.gif

In return, are you interestied in joining the Goa Tse Clan? GiratinaOriginForme.png |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill Don't be fooled. I'm an Aussie too. | 10:13, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh wow, that TV is showing Death Note. I LOVE Death Note. However, I unfortunately do not love usergroups. And I have no interest in joining and/or resurrecting them. I also usually don't even find enough time to finish my own articles, but if you have something you need help on, you can always ask me I guess. I can't guarantee I'll be able to help though. -RAHB 23:23, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
The picture of the Etch-a-Sketch showing the artwork Drawing Hands is your gift, that's all, for writing User:RAHB/Shit A Shitter Paradox. And my Vice-President's penis is bigger than yours. GiratinaOriginForme.png |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill Don't be fooled. I'm an Aussie too. | 09:46, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
I'll finish that one of these days. And I have no doubt that what you said about our vice presidents is true. -RAHB 09:51, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost May 21st

Brought to you by Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 22:31, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Just a quick Question

Hey there, I got an e-mail saying that you deleted my page, although it's actually still there. I was just wondering what that was about? I saw that you had originally put a request for it to be expanded so I gave it a go! Sorry if it was that bad!! ImNotASunbeam 07:10, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh no no no, not at all. I deleted a page in your userspace that was a double redirect. Which means, essentially, a page that redirects to another page, that redirects to ANOTHER page. The first page is most commonly deleted or re-redirected to the third page in that equation. Nothing against your article, and it's still right where it needs to be, as you can see. What I did was merely another piece of monotonous administrator work. No worries. -RAHB 08:34, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

WTF STUPID ADMIN

WHY'D YOU DELETE MONTREAL CANADIENS?? Montreal Canadiens killed my parents: I still hear their laughter at night! Most people don't know where Canadia is, but I do! I learned very well that fateful night!! Please let me inform teh pbulic!!

Sincerely,   24.224.250.66! 04:30, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
I know. I feel for your loss. I couldn't bear to see Montreal Canadiens running free after doing something so disastrous to your family. I had to do it. I had to kill Montreal Candiens... -RAHB 04:50, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
Did you notice how I said they sucked? Maybe if you saw that, you would've changed your mind!   24.224.250.66! 05:02, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
Even if they suck, they suck while alive. I can't have them living. And now it's too late. -RAHB 05:53, 24 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks A bunch

Thanks for fixing a mistake i made with The grunt article --Iwillkillyou333 04:23, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

No problem. -RAHB 04:55, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

why was my article on longlevens banned- which rules did it break?

can you tell me as soon as possible, thanks – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)

It wasn't funny, it was about a local town, was innaccesible, and did I mention it wasn't funny? Name-droppy, inconsistent, and messy. -RAHB 08:51, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
Got any ideas how i could make it funnier, or more consistent?. and i don't know what name-droppy means – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
As a rule, I don't give out ideas much anymore, as too many people ask me for them. However, suggestions include making the formatting tidier, making the humor that which people outside the town can understand, and making the humor more than just "longlevens sucks." Also, better grammar is preferred. In short, make it more "professional." I can also restore the content to your userspace for you to work on if you don't have a copy backed up. -RAHB 09:03, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
Oh, and "name-droppy" means using names of famous people often as a cop out for making a legitimate story of something. -RAHB 09:04, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
thanks that would be really good. I'm sorry it wasn't up to standard. I am new so still learning the ropes. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
Alright, I've moved the contents of it to your userspace at this link. You can use that naming scheme for unfinished articles in the future. I also tidied up the formatting a bit for you, you can take a look at the history to see what was changed. You also don't need to sign your articles, because your username shows up in the article history. You can take a look at some other articles, including the ones listed in the Featured Content page on the left, in order to get a better idea of how to format pages. That's about it then. Any other questions, just go ahead and ask. -RAHB 09:20, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
How much work does this article need on it before it can be published? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
To be perfectly honest, a lot. Were it me, I'd completely restart it, but I also know nothing about the topic. Do what feels best to you, but articles like HTBFANJS can help give you some hints on how to properly flesh out the article. I recommend reading that one. -RAHB 09:36, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
Can you read it and tell me whether its at least marginally better? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
I can give it a shot. -RAHB 10:19, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
what do you think?- are there any categories that you find funny? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
Uuuh, what do you mean exactly? -RAHB 10:28, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
what i mean is. If it was published now would there be any bits that you would say are funny enough to remain published. And also are there any bits that are bad and would get it removed. And also ijust wondered if there were any bits that made you laugh – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
Well, none of it really made me laugh, but to be fair, it takes a lot to genuinely make me laugh. And while there's nothing in the article that specifically goes against the rules, it's simply all been done before, and isn't very funny. You need to be original, do something outside the box, and keep things coherent as well. -RAHB 10:52, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
so if i publish it will you remove it again? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Edwan345 (talk • contribs)
If you publish it in the exact same state it was in when I removed it the first time? Yes...Yes I will. -RAHB 17:34, 25 May 2009 (UTC)