User:MrN9000/TalkArchives12

Splatorapory

What if I cooked up an awesome logo for the Collaboratory? People love logos to the point of inanity - we might get more collaboration if the thingy looked cool-ass badsmartypants fuckedy. What do you think? -- Style  Guide 19:17, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

It is true. The Collaboratory needs such things as cool-ass badsmartypants fuckedy. Can we have some of that please? An extra portion if it is available? MrN 20:08, Aug 12

550px

Not sure if this is awesome. I tried to make it into a template that would say stuff like "tired of working alone? Got a stuck article? Join us - together we can smash the place to fucking smithereens" on the right but I'm not too good with templates. The image alone could go as a logo to the top of collaboration page, and the template could be dropped here and there with a link. -- Style  Guide 07:30, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

I absolutely love that picture. It's perfect and the fuse if great. I think it would be perfect as the logo at the top of the page. If you fancy doing something with that, go for it? I also think we need a smaller user box size template which people can put on their user pages to show that they regularly use the Collaboratory, and obviously to advertise links for it. As for advertising this page more around the wiki, I think that may be a good idea, but I'm waiting to see if I get any opposition in the forum. It's "complicated" this... It's awesome that you are helping out though dude. Thanks a lot. I had a look at User:Multiliteralist/The lost play but that's not really my style. If you have anything a bit more encyclopaedic, I could take a look at that sometime? MrN 16:31, Aug 13

Glad you like the picture. Coulf you modify the template so that it stands alone at the top of the page? I don't know how to do it. -- Style  Guide 17:24, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Hang on! I just noticed something... That image is like 1.4mb in size! I'm guessing you have some better photo editing tools than me, could you maybe upload the image, but of a more Uncyc size in bytes? Like say 50-60k? I think what we really need is the actual image (the dude with the fuse). Could you upload one of just that guy, but without the rest of the text? I could do it, but then as all I have here now is paint, it would roast the quality of the image... MrN 18:59, Aug 13

Do you want me to also make the other one smaller? -- Style  Guide 19:16, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Awesome. I just created: {{User Collaboratory}} with it, stick it on your user page! Have a play with the template if you fancy. I'm not great with them. As for the image, if we are going to use it as the logo at the top, it probably needs the "join" bit removed, and just have it say "Collaboratory, for that extra pinch of destructive potential". If you could upload that as a smaller image, that might look good at the top of the page... MrN 20:37, Aug 13

Could you make the collab... template a bit more similar to the logo on top of page? Would help the cause if it were more easily recognisable. In other words, yellow background, red text, no italics, capital initial, rest of it lower case. Font is close enough otherwise. I would do this myself but cannot figure it out. -- Style  Guide 08:36, 16 August 2009 (UTC)

RAPE!!

I see what you did thar! MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 16:36, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Dexter rapes pages which are not real virgins as he can't get real virgins. MrN 16:38, Aug 13

Poor Dexter. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:38, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

It's true... :'( MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 16:39, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Are we sad about this?! DEXTER IS GETTING SOME EVERYBODY! Give the man a pat on the back, also some money for condoms cheap beer. Something that'll get a girl drunk really quickly. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 17:14, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

"Screw it. This is a silly namespace anyway."

It is NOT a silly namespace! Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 23:37, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Agreed. It is not a silly namespace. It's a stupid namespace. MrN 23:39, Aug 13

It is a glorious namespace! Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 23:41, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Wrecks

You said "something more encyclopedic" - well, the criticism section can be as encyclopedic as you like, if you want to help out with that. The play excerpts are in fact ready. User:Multiliteralist/The_lost_play

Thanks MrN

Cheers for the award and the page transfer and stuff. Also, I'm not sure exactly what you have done with the page, where is the source page? Is the one on my userpage redirecting to the proper Foreign Office? If not, could you set it up so that there is nothing on my user page/Foreign Office other than a re-direct to the new location? Apologies if this is what you have done and I'm just a moran. Thanks for the support once again anyway. --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 11:31, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

# (Move log); 10:23 . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs | block) moved User talk:Siddhartha-Wolf/Foreign Office to Uncyclopedia talk:Foreign Office
# (Move log); 10:23 . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs | block) moved User:Siddhartha-Wolf/Foreign Office to Uncyclopedia:Foreign Office

That's your old user page... It's redirecting everything there. "Your" page is now part of the Uncyclopedia project. Or what was your page. Cos now it's ours! MhhhhHaaa! MrN 11:38, Aug 14

Haha, that's fine with me, but I think having "suggestions for improvement" on the talk page would be a better idea, otherwise it feels a bit messy. --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 12:13, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

LUKE: (laughing) Alderaan? I'm not going to Alderaan. I've got to go home. It's late, I'm in for it as it is.

BEN: I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I'm getting too old for this sort of thing.

LUKE: I can't get involved! I've got work to do! It's not that I like the Empire. I hate it! But there's nothing I can do about it right :::now. It's such a long way from here.

BEN: That's your uncle talking.

LUKE: (sighing) Oh, God, my uncle. How am I ever going to explain this?

BEN: Learn about the Force, Luke.

LUKE: Look, I can take you as far as Anchorhead. You can get a transport there to Mos Eisley or wherever you're going.

BEN: You must do what you feel is right, of course.

MrN 12:29, Aug 14

Lionel Richie

OK ! Thanks, this is my first one. Yeah, I hope so. --84.236.119.220 11:44, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

I was in our IRC chat room a while back when you wrote it and a few of us read it then... Oh, did you sign up for an account? MrN 11:47, Aug 14

How about this BEFORE I take a chance?

Oh God! Your user page is a riot, better than the articles. I wrote a wacky article that I think is funny (and true) but I'm afraid to gross anyone out. Could you give me advice on this before I get shit-on, I mean, peed-on Dead Dick. Thanks in advance.--Funnybony 18:17, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Oh, you chicken you! Don't be scared of Pee Review man! Sometimes, you get a good review, sometimes you don't. I have seen wildly different scores over time. I read this article. It's good. I don't think it's as good as your 2012 article, but I liked a few of the lines in there. Your "problem" (not that it really is that much) is that this article, like some of your others suffers from poor formatting. You have a tenancy to use large lists early in your articles. Now, that's "OK" it's not "wrong", but... Some readers on Uncyc will not like that. Also, you tend to have a large number of shorter sections when it might be better to have less more substantial sections. Now, I know that does not really mean that much really, but in terms of how popular your articles might be if they started making their way onto VFH, it's going to make a difference. Trust me. I think your writing is funny, and I think many of your articles and be really good, but ya need to sort out this thing I'm talking about. A more "encyclopaedic layout" is what you need in your articles. Make them look a bit more like something you would find on Wikipedia if you can. Stick it onto Pee Review, and if you don't get a review in a few days, let me know and I will do it for ya. Have fun. MrN 21:09, Aug 14

IP

Wow that IP you just blocked is so funny! "SUCK MAH BOOBS" That's so hilarious right? lolololol!--Almost Sir Random Crap

The funny thing is, that's it's a lot less effort for us to revert them than it is for them to do it. MrN 15:51, Aug 15

Oh, rollback right? I love that feature. And that Collabratory was a really good idea! I needed some edits for my article.--Almost Sir Random Crap

Thanks on Dead Dick

I just deleted one list and turned another list into a para. The hook is that VN won because they had the highest score, just like most sports, VN:1,100,000 points to America: 58,000 points. A pretty piss-poor performance by Team America. Man, those Gooks sure know how to play "Dead Dick!" I hope that's coming across. Thanks again. I'll go back a clean up 2012 if that's OK to do. I hate to delete others stuff, even it's crap. But crap really does ruin it for everyone. Best wishes--Funnybony 19:59, 15 August 2009 (UTC)

If it's crap it's crap, take it out. Also, those who deposit crap seldom return to check on it. ;) MrN 20:22, Aug 15

• Dude!!! I really worked hard on this spoof. I hope I can keep all three quotes. The 3rd quote is a spoof on Howard Cosell at end of the Randall Tex Cobb/Larry Holmes mismatch. And the "M" quote to James Bond is pretty good too. I took your advice on lists, and cleaned up 2012 as well (although not completely). Any lists are really short, like no more than 4 items, as a sub part. Any further improvement on Dead Dick (the highly unpopular 1960s era war game). Thanks in advance for your help.--Funnybony 21:00, 16 August 2009 (UTC)

It is looking good. I'm trying to think of a way to help you with 2012. I think something can be done with tables. Give me a few days and I will try to think what... MrN 21:14, Aug 16

On Dead Dick: I'm glad you like it. I would love to find a "Grunt Speak Dictionary" (We're taken a bird to the LZ, lets hope it's cold. They'll be layin' Nap first to fry the dinks. Time for some buku R&R before I go, fuckin', dinky dow!). Jeez! What a life? Please edit anything you don't like about Dead Dick. I'm going to wait to nominate it. As it stands it's already as good as Yellow in my opinion, which was just featured. Turning Dead Dick into 1) Game, 2) Point, 3) Corpse, and 4) weird collectors item. And the Vietnamese won on points, like most every sport.--Funnybony 21:48, 16 August 2009 (UTC)

On 2012: Yeah, that's the way to limit the items listed, make a table for only the ones you think are worth keeping. Like the Methods of Destruction list is 60% good now, and needs to lose way more fat. If I was savvy in coding I'd do it. But if you can make 2012 into a great page then everyone will love it. She's all yours!!! I never did anything worthwhile in my life without partners. Thanks a bunch, dude!!!--Funnybony 21:48, 16 August 2009 (UTC)

BTW: I did Amero and it's more scary than funny... more true than Wikipedia.--Funnybony 21:53, 16 August 2009 (UTC)

Yea, I know you did Amero. That's the page which first made me notice you. ;) I'm happy to nom Dead Dick for now for you on VFH if you feel it's ready. VFH is a funny place though and you can never predict what will happen. Oh, also you might be interested in taking a look at this page sometime. MrN 22:19, Aug 16

Dead Dick

Hey Dude! I think Dead Dick is ready to Nom (as you mention above). Doesn't it need a Pee Review first? Or can you just nominate as is? Please edit anything you don't like. Much Appreciated!--Funnybony 17:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

You only need a Pee Review if it's you who nominates it. I do suggest you get a review though, but hea! I will give it a proof read, and nom it for ya. Don't be surprised if you get shot down like a Dead Dick though. VFH is one odd place, and you can never tell what's going to happen... MrN 17:41, Aug 21

---Whew!!! You are faster that fuckin' Tony Jaa, who can jump under and over a moving car at the same time. He learned that trick in Bangkok (where I live too).--Funnybony 17:44, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

---If VFH shoots down Dead Dick, then we have to ask ourselves, "What's this fucking world coming to?" Thanks a-mil!!!--Funnybony 17:48, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Don't be too upset if so. Some formats of article are more popular than others, and voters are also fickle. However, your 2012 article will be your first FA if this does not make it. ;) Oh, tip... Don't vote for yourself! Not yet anyway. ;) MrN 17:51, Aug 21

---I read your last piece of advice too late and my wife and I had both already voted. I was able to delete those votes. Which is good, cause I wanna do exactly what you advise. Dude! Thanks for the Nom. Much appreciated. All I can possible get out of this is make people laugh. If you think it funny then I'm already satisfied.--Funnybony 21:17, 22 August 2009 (UTC)

BTW: Punji Stick must have gotten huffed. It was a funny look at a very unfunny subject. It was pretty good, but too short. - how do I recover it so It can be perfected? I have no copy of it. But it must exist somewhere in the UN-universe!? Thanks as always.--Funnybony 21:17, 22 August 2009 (UTC)

I put a copy here. Flesh it out a bit more before moving it back to the mainspace... MrN 21:42, Aug 22

---You're an angel!!! Do you think it's worth saving? I assume "flesh it out" means you think so. But I can hardly think anything else to say about Punji Stick. Any suggestions? Thanks as always--Funnybony 10:49, 23 August 2009 (UTC)

Renamon article

Yo,can you give me a copy of the renamon article i made that got huffed so i can work on it on my user page.i kinda neglected it cause i thought is this too random??i was trying to create "milk squirting out your nose"/wacky and crazy" humor.i guess you guys dont like that,okay i get it now,no cock or sex.i will write a more serious article, i promise,serious, im not playing.i will only add relativly little random stuff,like 3 sentences,mabeye even less and the rest will be gold. jupiterfox

Hi Jupiter. I haven't read the article, but "milk squirting out your nose" humour, I'm assuming that you mean slapstick. Jerry Lewis or Three stooges physical comedy stuff. If that's the case, it may be a little lowbrow, but it's not deletion worthy. The issue may be that you've neglected to read HTBFANJS, particularly The "@#$%^&*" Rule. Crass humour can work. As an example there is UnNews:An Open Letter from "Protect the Overtly Offensive Foundation" as a light version of this, and Penis joke is a little more direct. If you are doing something that is funny because it has the word "fuck" in it 100 times, and there's no other form of humour in it, most of the time it will be either unappreciated or just deleted outright. Can I suggest read HTBFANJS first, and have a look at the featured articles to see what works well. Pup t 07:17, 16/08/2009

It's here. He's totally correct Jupiterfox. It's just all the same this it's a cute thing, let's pretend its evil, has sex and rapes people!. Yea... Funny the first time someone wrote an article like that on Uncyc, but it's getting REALLY boring now. Sorry. Please, consider trying to write in a different style as I fear your articles will keep getting deleted, and your edits to articles eventually reverted. I'm sure you can write in a style which might be more appreciated, and I hope you do. MrN 16:54, Aug 16

thanks alot guys.I can write in a different style.im good at writing academic papers like sociology.its just that when making articles about cartoon characters such as renamon, i didnt think anybody would care if it was written in good quality.i mean its about a character from digimon,a show for 10 year olds about a bunch of crazy monsters battling.its not like a commentary on the health care policy of barack obama.

so i thought a couple of cheap laughs with crude sex jokes and cursing is what people wanted.thats what i meant by "milk squirting out your nose" humour, not slapstick.i meant crude humor such as "princess toadstool has a penis and likes to stick it in samus aran".and one more thing,i just made an article called Drake and Josh.ive tried using a different writing style than the renamon article.,mr9000 can you check it out and give me some pointers in regards to the article.if its not that good dont delete it,give me advice and i will give the article more work.im not nearly done working with it.you can see i still left the constuction tag on it. thanks and peace.Jupiterfox

Bot Question

Does the general fixes that your bot is doing include spell check? I was just wondering, as spell check bots often correct intentional "misspellings". --Mn-z 23:47, 16 August 2009 (UTC)

Na, I'm not spell checking. I'm watching each edit manually also so it should be OK. MrN 23:59, Aug 16

K. On an unrelated note, this page contain vanity/cyberbulling? I searched for some of the names listed on wikipedia, and didn't find anything. But, its a British subject, so I really can't tell. --Mn-z 00:20, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

I'm calling that clear vanity. It's not been edited for years and I doubt anyone cares other than the 2 guys who wrote it. MrN 00:49, Aug 17

Second Bot question

Hey, I just finished working on The newest UnSignpost. I asked THEDUDEMAN if he could help out, but he doesn't seem to be around. Any chance you could get your bot going, and deliver it? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:57, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

You rock quite hard. Thanks for the delivery! Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:10, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

NP. We do need to trim down the list we deliver to at some point... MrN 21:12, Aug 18

I agree. Gerry said the same thing. How would we go about doing such a thing? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:13, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

I left a message over at the paper... MrN 21:29, Aug 18

New question

Is there anything wrong with me auto-archiving people's talk pages who have way too many USPs on there? I'm not sure how you admin types feel about archiving other people's talk pages, even for the sake of the glorious paper. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 17:15, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Um. You should ask Spang about that. On his talkpage. Hi dad! -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:23, 19 Aug

Ya, probably not a good idea to archive another users talk page. Maybe drop them a message asking em to do it, but na... MrN 14:25, Aug 20

The cake is a lie

It says you're the one who locked The cake is a lie due to copyright or something like that. My question is as to whether it's possible to have that page as a redirect to Portal (game), since that evades the problem of having a page by that name and still provides the appropriate material for those searching the phrase.

Guardain of Light 18:39, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Was not me who protected it, but Sure. MrN 19:48, Aug 18

Just protect the pages

All 3 of em, he's just using proxies and won't stop --Charitwo^Talk 04:35, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Or a brief semi-protect would work too. (But you know that.) --Mn-z 04:39, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

That's what I meant, protection from IPs --Charitwo^Talk 04:42, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Eh? No idea what you two are talking about. MrN 11:23, Aug 19

Something to do with penis I'm sure. ~ 11:38, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Lundy

Good day sir, I think the Lundy page has potential and I like how you restructured it so far, do you mind if I take it to the basement for some alterations? --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 16:14, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Sure. I will leave it alone for ya. ;) I'm actually less than 30 miles from there right now. :) MrN 16:16, Aug 21

Ahhh cool, would you prefer to do it then? I don't have that much knowledge of it, I was just going to work from some humorous preconceptions and Wikipedia, so it would make more sense if you already have knowledge about it. Are you on the English or Welsh side btw? :) --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 16:18, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

OK looking at the map i'd guess you're in Cornwall/Devon right? For some reason I thought the island was further up the channel than that... --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 16:20, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

I actually need to pop out to the shops! Grr. How about you have a go at it, and I will take a look later? I actually think the opening line about the druids towing a bit out into the channel is AWESOME. It's almost what happened. Today, I'm in sunny Bristol, but I have fished off Lundy. Thinking about it, it's probably more than 30 miles. I was thinking of Flat Holm and Steep Holm.

The motor boats bit is good... It, probably needs to have some piss taking of the Welsh and Bristolians thrown in for good measure... MrN 16:27, Aug 21

lol i'll skim through, see what I can come up with but I'm away for the weekend so I can't promise much. I thought that motorboat and the line about Napoleon's depth perception were very funny (I think there is some story about Napoleon and Lundy right? I seem to remember something quite famous happening there in the colonial period anyway). --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 16:33, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Island of Saint Helena maybe? Not sure about Lundy... MrN 17:38, Aug 21

Pokemon

Hey! Can I please have a copy of the Pokemon Platinum article so I can work on it some more?--ArtemisFowlThe2nd 06:45, 22 August 2009 (UTC)

Sure. It's here. It's going to need LOTS more work though, good luck. MrN 13:35, Aug 22

Sit down...

..and have a cup of tea. Don't let the whole Wikia Bernard thing ruin what could otherwise be a lovely day typing. mAttlobster. (hello) 13:51, 22 August 2009 (UTC)

Sir. I think you may have me confused with someone else :P I assure you I'm having a lovely day. There are lots of other cases like this one if you fancy trying to find em, and fix accordingly.  ;-) MrN 14:39, Aug 22

Unprotection request

Can you unprotect Ohio and Kentuckistan ? --Mn-z 16:04, 22 August 2009 (UTC)

Dead Dick - I figured out how to delete those votes

To follow your good advice. Thanks--Funnybony 21:30, 22 August 2009 (UTC)

Hmm, careful. Removing votes is a REAL no, no. Even if it was you. Just as well I did not see you do that... ;) Relax. Votes will come. MrN 21:37, Aug 22

---Yes, I believe you! But it seems that a person should be able to change their own vote? No? OK. Sorry about that. I'm far from a PC expert.--Funnybony 12:27, 23 August 2009 (UTC)

User:Funnybony/Punji Stick

If you have a chance could you check the rework I have done on Punji Stick. I don't care to Nominate, I just like it to be live because its linked to some other pages too. If it's good enough (for such a simple subject) can we get it back up? Thanks as always--Funnybony 12:27, 23 August 2009 (UTC)

(Move log); 14:57 . . MrN9000 (Talk | contribs | block) moved User:Funnybony/Punji Stick to Punji Stick 
[redirect suppressed] (Good enough for mainspace)

I will (at some point) get of my arse and have a go at your 2012 article... Oh, you need to fix the score on your VFH nom. ;) MrN 15:00, Aug 23

Thanks for everything. I just checked the score on my VFH nom. It shows 2 Yes, 0 No. Am I missing something?--Funnybony 16:31, 23 August 2009 (UTC)

Nope. I fixed it, as you were not on-line... Don't forget you can view all changes to a page from the page history... MrN 16:45, Aug 23

---Paradise is full of helpful guys like you!--Funnybony 16:52, 23 August 2009 (UTC)

Careful sir. People will start to talk. Um, for that, you get one of these:

It's nothing to do with picking up the soap in the shower. Well not very much anyway. MrN 16:58, Aug 23

---

“From outside if you shoot a bullet into the void it will cease to exist as soon as it enters the void. So, yeah, you could say it's bullet proof!”

~ Chuck Norris on describing Voidism

--Funnybony 20:34, 23 August 2009 (UTC)

Hey hey hey!

Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/20-08-09 is finished. Any chance you could deliver? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 06:28, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

VFD protection

You semi-protected the VFD in April, and out of curiosity I am wondering why. Maybe there was a discussion or vote f some sorts in the archives that I'm unaware of (I did some quick snooping around but didn't really find anything) that maybe you could direct me to? --EMC ^[TALK] 07:01, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

I don't know of a discussion, but here is the protection log. April 1st was for a joke we had, other than that it's been protected since 2006. I assume it became a vandal magnet. We have UN:Poop which is not protected. MrN 10:37, Aug 24

Ah, alright then. That clears it up. Thank you. --EMC ^[TALK] 23:49, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 20th August, it's not late, your mom is!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that WILL win Zombiebaron back, damn it.

Date August 20th, 2009 • Issue 61 • Where no news is normal news

Fantasy Football Draft Finished By Guildensternenstein After four weeks of red-hot eight-man free fantasy football league draft action, the first Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League (UFFL) Draft is finally at a close: Uncyclopedia regular and DiBiase's Millions general manager The Woodburninator made Arizona Cardinals' Kicker Neil Rackers Mr. Irrelevant on the afternoon of August 21th, 2009, a mere 26 hours after the previous pick had been made. Afterward, League Commissioner and noted Nazi sympathizer Guildensternenstein promised to make all subsequent Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League official actions run much more smoothly. He vowed he would "put the drafted players on their respective fantasy teams" at some point "after I'm done writing this story for the UnSignpost and before I go see Inglorious Bastards later tonight." The draft itself was varied, and picks ranged from the predictable (Vikings' running back Adrian Peterson taken first overall) to the even more predictable (Falcons' running back Michael Turner taken with second overall pick) to the fairly predictable (Drew Brees, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady being the first three quarterbacks taken) to the downright wild. Notable steals include Guildy's nabbing of Chris Johnson in Round 5, Woody's snagging of Aaron Rodgers in Round 6, and Bradaphraser's criminal steal of Dallas tight end Jason Witten. For every good pick, there was a bad one, however: in moves that would make Al Davis proud, LongLiverh3 took Philadelphia's No. 3 receiver while their No. 1 and No. 2 receivers were still on the board, made 30th ranked tight end L.J. Smith the second overall tight end picked, and made Baltimore QB Joe Flacco his backup quarter back while the likes of Matt Schaub, Jay Cutler, Ben Roethlisberger and Eli Manning were still available. LongLiver could not be reached for comment. New UnSignpost Editor already having trouble filling up space; Falls upon pointless gimmicks, self-references, long article titles to fill void By The Woodburninator In a move that has surprised literally 0% of the Uncyclopedia UnSignpost community, the newest UnSignpost editor has already hit a wall in trying to think up new articles for the post. Well, that's not actually true. First he wrote a story trying to beg Zombiebaron to re-subscribe for the post. Then he actually looked at Zombiebaron's userpage to find out that he was actually leaving the site. Needless to say, the presses were called back, and more writing had to be done. Namely, this. Now, we at the post already know what you are thinking. But, since putting those things into print is outlawed in 36 states, two Canadian provinces, and all of Lithuania, we will instead reference the fact that there have been an awful lot of self-referencing in the UnSignpost lately. For that we are truly sorry. Also, we are sorry for self-referencing our own self-referencing. It is truly a problem that continues to build upon itself. We hope to soon continue with the top notch reporting that is so often found in our hallowed archives. Such as the time we wrote about Spang's village dump conquests, or the time we self-referenced how the UnSignpost's lovable mascot, "Dognewspaper" had not been in the Unsignpost for over nine months. Or that time we wrote about the Fantasy Football Draft being finished. Yes, all of those times were good. And we plan - nae, promise - to, in the very near future, continue bringing those kinds of articles to your doorstep. That is, if you don't mind finding a bit of drool upon it.	Check out these pages! Merging with Wikipedia? Certainly not! YOU ARE NOT THINKERER! The sausage fest just got more sausagey. From our logs: 12:30, 16 August 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.133.6.177 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (blanking pages makes baby jesus cry. it also gets your ass banned. maybe one or the other of those things will convince you not to do it again) 10:55, 18 August 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 18 days ‎ (so you let me look like an ignorant baffoon for 18 days? What kind of SLA is that?) 11:02, 18 August 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 432 hours ‎ (it's not that long in the grand scheme of things. America happily let George Bush look like an ignorant buffoon for 2 terms of office, for example...) Biopic of the Week The man from straight out of Kiel, Germany, NaturalBornKieler has been a tremendous addition to Uncyclopedia since joining in June, 2007. While he has had no issues splitting his time between both Uncyclopedia, and the German Uncyclopedia, he has, for some reason, written 10 more features, and some 100 more articles for the German Uncyclopedia than for our beautiful English side. Still, it seems he has found his calling now, working in the big bureaucracy of the Foreign Office. NBK was unable to be reached for comment, as he was unable to get the proper approval from his superiors to be interviewed by a newspaper. Ahhhh. Bureaucracy at work. Old School Featured Article of the Week The War of 1812, also known as "The War Nobody Wanted to Name", was a ridiculously embarrassing conflict fought between the United States, Great Britain, Canada, and Antarctica. Everybody lost. Coping with adolescence and struggling to maintain its identity during the Napoleonic Wars, the United States looked to its mother country for guidance. But England, a single parent with a host of colonies to look after, had little time to spend with its gawky young child. Hoping to impose some sort of discipline over its increasingly sullen ward, England resorted to a 10 p.m. curfew. Old School Old School Box of the Week Forgotten and so-short-it-possibly-ought-to-be-a-template page of the week Tact: Writing? Have you ever thought about getting a real job?
Judges Wanted! The next PLS is impending, and the are still judging slots unfilled. Modusoperandi is looking for users who are opinionated, who think that those opinions matter, and who want to give the benefit of those opinions to many in the form of passing judgement on articles. Enjoy the temporary sensation of power! Impress your friends! Alienate those whose articles you don't favour! Sign up now!
UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  11:13, Aug 24

Thank You

For changing the front page. I asked Modusoperandi to do it multiple times while he and I were online at the same time, but he basically refused to. Yeah. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:42, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

NP. Oh, could you do Pee Review of all the articles in the rewrite category for me please? ... Don't ever expect someone to do something. That's not cool man. Sorry. MrN 16:00, Aug 24

Thing is, if it were my duty/job to do a Pee Review of all the articles in the Rewrite Category, I would, because it would be my fucking job. From my understanding, changing the front page is the first bullet on the metaphorical admin job description. You know what really isn't cool? Neglecting to do your duty/job, outright refusing to do your duty/job once it has been brought to your attention that your duty/job has not been done, and then insulting/ignoring/disrespecting the person who brought said thing to your attention in the first place, all of which Modusoperandi did last night. That ain't fucking cool. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 18:42, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

In Modus's defense, he did have a good (or at least justifiable) reason, changing the article does short-change an article on main-space time. And he is one of the more silly admins. --Mn-z 18:54, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

But it was my article that was up for featuring. I made it known that I didn't care about getting shortchanged front-page time, so long has the whole "daily feature" thing was preserved. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 19:02, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

UN:JOB I'm sorry Guildy. You are wrong. Calm down. Next time try IRC. MrN 19:06, Aug 24

So I can be mocked there for simply asking someone to do something that should have already been done at that point too? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 20:53, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

Read UN:JOB again and think carefully about what you are saying. Then relax. Then forget about it. You got your FA man. Chill. "mocked"??? Serious? Dude. MrN 21:15, Aug 24

This is uncyc. You can be mocked for anything here. Don't take it to heart Pup t 21:04, 24/08/2009

Eh, you're probably right. Yes, I probably did take it too far. However, I should mention that it wasn't over "me getting my feature"--that would've happened regardless, and even if it didn't I wouldn't have particularly minded--it was more over the fact that the front page should be changed on time, yet it wasn't. So yeah. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:12, 25 August 2009 (UTC)

On a related note

I think that UN:JOB needs be rephrased so its a bit less hostile sounding. The reason we have admins is to do the maintenance work that regular users can't. (Oh course, Modus has a valid reason for not changing the main page and we don't have a problem with admins who are too lazy to fix stuff.) --Mn-z 05:04, 25 August 2009 (UTC)

UN:JOB was Keitei expressing how she felt - therefore it doesn't need to be rephrased. The fact that other admins seem to find it relevant suggests that perhaps some users need to realise how much work the admins actually do on this site and chill the fuck out. --UU - natter 07:18, Aug 25

Yea. I think it's just fine as it is. MrN 15:11, Aug 25

Fuck you.

So, when do you want the reviews of all of the articles tagged with rewrite? Also, do you want them individually or just one big review? Also, how in-depth? Also, where do you want Oscar's cock? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:59, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

I suggest you put all of the previously mentioned up your anus. I suspect that to be the place you would most enjoy them. MrN 20:08, Aug 24

# (diff) (hist) . .  Uncyclopedia:Votes for deletion‎; 19:44 . . (-985) . . Dexter111344 (Talk | contribs | block) 
(→ Akatsuki:  Archive. Also, since when do we use  [[|]] on deleted articles?)

Since it's been redirected. :P MrN 20:10, Aug 24

Well, I didn't see that they had been redirected. Not like it matters cause the thing it redirects to deserves deletion as well. In fact, I'm very tempted to VFD the main Naruto article... MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:44, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

Uhh...

In the most spectacular fuck-up ever on Uncyclopedia, I seem to have:

1. Merged our talkpage histories.
2. Deleted your talkpage.
3. Made it so that restoration of your talkpage is near impossible.

Can we still be friends? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:13 Apr 26, 2009

Hehe, I restored it. But demerging the pages is another matter. A matter for the courts, probably. Sir Cs1987 UOTM. t. c 01:32, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

I don't think it's worth the demerge. 6/7ths of my talkpage's history is archived away, so it's not too bad. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:35 Apr 26, 2009

I think you killed him. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 02:37, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

DrS: What the hell are you talking about? Silly Billy. I thought I would just leave it and wait until you started to get paranoid. :P Worked eh? HeHe. CS: Thanks man, I think it's possible to un-merge it by moving pages around and being selective about which versions you restore and delete, but hea... UN:N. DJ: Hea you scoundrel. MrN 13:38, Apr 29

I only got around to reading all of what you put on my page

Sorry about that. I think Tradesmen followed all the bits I had read. --Nikau 05:20, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

Looks like it worked out well! MrN 13:39, Apr 29

problem:

your talkpage is missing an important word. solution: pants. that is all. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:39, 29 April 2009 (UTC)

Other problem: your talkpage is missing an important person. Solution: here I am. Voilá: instant improvement. Carry on! --UU - natter 13:42, Apr 29

UnSignpost! 1st Anniversary Special!!!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now Delivered Trendily Late!

April 30th, 2009 • Issue 45 • The periodical that - Jesus Christ it's a lion get in the car!

UnSignpost Editors Too Busy Working on Anniversary UnSignpost to Bother with This Week's Issue By Gerrycheevers Since next week marks the incredible one-year anniversary of the storied UnSignpost, the editors are focusing all of their efforts on that issue and thus leaving this issue out in the cold. Rest assured that next week's 46th issue, marking the 46 weeks in the year on the Uncyclopedia calendar, will be "a bumper special issue" according to co-chief-editor Under user. The promise of a special bonus issue brings to mind several of the UnSignpost's more notable issues, such as the All-Kitten Issue and the Seventeenth Issue Spectacular. Reactions to the milestone were mixed in the community. "I feel the signpost has in many ways brought a little too much cabal propaganda to the site for my liking," said noted good-looking tree Sycamore. Were there a cabal, cabal authorities would currently be on the way to Sycamore's house to arrest him. Lucky for him there is no cabal. By the way, if you really thought this was the first anniversary issue, you suck.

Check out these pages! To pee or not to pee? Some more links. Are you still here? From our logs: Take your pick Biopic of the Week <insert name here> is certainly noteworthy. Old School Featured Article of the Week Nihilism. Word of the Week Brevity.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Hand delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:38, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

Could you adopt me?

I am a noob that needs adopting, it said you are accepting so... Can you? Thatguyoverthere1 14:18, 6 May 2009 (UTC)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost is proud to present its 1st Anniversary Special

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!

May 5th, 2009 • First Anniversary Issue! • Disdaining news in favour of blatant self-promotion

Self-Proclaimed Greatest Newspaper on the Wiki Reaches First Birthday By UU Can you believe it? We can't - particularly as we're only on issue number 46 - and yet it's true, the greatest piece of talkpage spam in the history of this shabby little wiki (and the most modest too) celebrates its first anniversary! Birthed in a blaze of optimism and creativity by fiendish evil genius Dr. Skullthumper and mythical user-in-exile Cajek at the start of May 2008, the UnSignpost was intended to shine a light into the dark corners of the wiki, keeping users up-to-date with anything worth keeping up-to-date with. In this special article, we examine what went wrong, where that glorious vision got corrupted, and how it has ended up in its current state. The early issues were churned out at a great rate by the founding editors, and Cajek was so enthused by the project that he suggested to Skullthumper that they should move to a twice-weekly release - fortunately, this suggestion was shot down in flames by the doc, or the paper may never have celebrated a second month, let alone a full year! Skullthumper was first to leave the Signpost behind for pastures new, perhaps feeling his work was already done. Looking back nostalgically now at those heady early days, Skull exclusively observed: "Well! Working on the UnSignpost in the beginning was a really fun experience, not gonna lie. Cajek and I were both super excited about it. I'm glad it existed through to today, entirely by the help of other people. The setup was seriously the most fun part. We had NO clue what we were doing, we were experimenting with formatting, content, and a bot that only worked half the time. To summarize: It kicked ass. I had no idea it was about a year ago that it started." With only Cajek powering it, the Signpost forged onwards, but was beginning to run into troubled waters - even Cajek's legendary enthusiasm was beginning to founder, and when he began to struggle for time, he asked DJ Irreverent to take the helm. We asked Cajek for a nostalgic comment about the Signpost, but he was unavailable, so instead here's a random line from one of his articles: "Also, don't be surprised if you go to jail for what society deems "gross", "horrible", and "Satanic": it's all part of being an ant keeper... and an ant "watcher"". The DJ managed to steady the ship (how long can we sustain this metaphor?), but struggled to handle the torch he'd been passed by his adopter (looks like we didn't sustain it very long - never mind!). Asked to comment on this turbulent period, the DJ exclusively remarked: "I dropped said torch like a ton of bricks as a good child should always do. I could not take on the family business, I needed to dance. Anyway, I wrote about 2 articles". So the pattern of users taking over the paper, only to burn out and abandon it again was becoming well established. Next in the editor's chair was UU, who lasted about 6 issues, before becoming so overwhelmed by the pressures of the paper that he went and got married in order to have a good excuse to get away from it for a few weeks. Recalling those halcyon days, UU told us exclusively: "I love the Signpost, and have had a great time working on it. It does get in the way of writing real articles though, as some users might testify, and it can be a pain to come up with stories each week - hopefully this issue might spark a few people to put some more ideas in the press room". Fortunately, UU had taken the foresighted step of questioning the staying power of one Gerrycheevers in a previous issue's "comeback of the week" box, and Gerry was so determined to prove he had what it took, that he took over the paper while UU swanned off around the world. Cheevers's time at the helm brought such classic issues as the all-kitten issue, and his exclusive dewy-eyed remembrances run thusly: "I'm proud for having successfully stolen this periodical from Cajek and Skull, and I look forward to many more years of turning forums into news stories, dredging up old features that nobody cares about, and of course making tedious Cajek ban jokes. I also demand a raise and Cajek's office!" Unfortunately, Cheevers's staying power lived up to UU's expectations, and Gerry took another small break. UU returned to the paper, and frantically enlisted contributions from the likes of Orian57 and Heerenveen to keep the wheels of news turning smoothly. Asked for comment on his input, Orian exclusively told us: "It's a been a great help in bonding together this community. And it's made things more interesting, what with everyone trying to do news worthy things just to get their names in the paper. Or something, I can't manufacture funny under pressure and this is pressure because you're gonna put this in the paper just to humiliate me now, aren't you?". Hv, meanwhile, exclusively commented: "It's amazing that our wonderful newspaper has lasted for so long, especially when you figure the us editors have had nothing to work with but "OMGZ THIS WIKI IZ D00MED" stories since about Issue IV. It's a great tribute to the us editors' ability to make Cajek-filled fluff pieces up on the fly. Maybe they we should try for the Daily Mail?". Gerrycheevers has been fully back on board since early this year, UU is still hanging around in between banning people and huffing stuff, and with other contributors still pitching in, plus a plentiful supply of Cajek bans to use as padding (see next story), it looks like the immediate future of the paper is in good competent human some kind of hands. Want to join the list of over 25 people who have contributed to the paper since its inception? Or want to join the ranks of hand-deliverers and paperbots that have been burned out along the way, and now line the wiki as lifeless husks? Give us a shout in the press room, and become part of the Uncyc furniture! Wish we'd gotten a quote from Cajek though. Bastard. Cajek 100 Ban Extravaganza By Gerrycheevers During the very same week that Uncyclopedia's most well-known journalism source (suck it, UnNews!) celebrates its first birthday with much cake and punch, one of its co-founders achieved his own personal milestone by being banned for the one hundredth time. Rumors of making Cajek an admin when he reached the milestone have thus far not proven to be true, although he may have magically gained sysop powers upon entering triple-digit territory and we just won't know it until he comes back from wherever he's hiding in a hailstorm of admin-related activity (whatever it is that they do). The milestone was reached largely thanks to users such as Sockpuppet of an unregistered user, who took to the streets in a grassroots effort to raise awareness, and Gerrycheevers, who went directly to certain sysops with demonstrably active bansticks pleading for a "Cajek-whooping." The landmark 100th ban was achieved yesterday, with the good Dr. Skullthumper blocking Cajek with an expiry time of "a milestone". The UnSignpost would like to congratulate Cajek, and also plead for his return. Cajek was unavailable for comment, and this reporter was once again chased off of the grounds of the Cajek Mansion, this time by the abstract philosophical concept of existentialism. From the desk of the Cabal Special By No-one The cabal is most displeased with this apparent so called "newspaper" or "voice of the people". What news could there be other than "maintain the peace and obey the cabal, should it exist"? What voice should the people have other than "Yes sir", "No sir" and "Of course, I'll send my sister post haste to your bedroom, Sir"? This useless rag might let people think that the Uncyclopedians have a modicum of freedom. We the cabal, do not exist. But if we did, we'd be most unpleased and just about prepared to clamp down on this operation. Obey the cabal, the cabal is your imaginary friend.

Check out these pages! 3,422 and going strong! No winner yet declared in 'not pointless' forum A blast from the past Best of From our logs: 09:23, 30 March 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a gay admin ‎ (you like rahb. rahb = penis. therefore you like penis. therefore you = ghey. this logic is irrefutable. also, morning mordillo.) 11:00, 15 March 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked Slicktorine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Cyberbullying: We just don't care about you or your friends. Sorry. I suggest you ask him for a date. He's probably a really nice guy.) 02:46, 8 February 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 97.83.236.223 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Fer the love of Christ, you make me think I actually have a life. You've been doing the same God damn thing since the summer. Just fuck off already.) 08:25, 13 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Tardman (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (I love being a cunt, it makes my hair glow) Codeine (Talk | contribs) huffed "Wild sweaty orgies" (If anyone's gonna write an article about these it'll be me. I've done the research.) 02:14, 10 December 2008 Flammable (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.142.37.160 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Hi. Welcome to Uncyc. I'm glad you enjoyed your stay here. We did too.) 04:57, 23 October 2008 Tom mayfair (Talk | contribs) blocked TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Intimidating behaviour/harassment: & Not The Good Sexual Kind of Harassment Either) 04:20, 22 October 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 210.15.244.104 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (You, sir, have gone above and beyond the call of failure. Now that may sound like a compliment, but read it again, paying special attention to that last word. Yeah.) 7:41, 20 September 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Just got back. Haven't banned Cajek in a month. Gotta get my fix. CLICK. Aaaaaah yeeeeeahhh. That's gooood shit.) 19:36, 21 September 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Reggie4 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (You have 2 cows. Both of them are banned.) 21:17, 23 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 62.88.33.191 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Try to suck less. You're sucking too much. I didn't say "stop"! Take your time. Yeah, that's the stuff. Now gently squeeze my balls.) 23:56, 20 July 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Swampgas (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (congratulations, now you can add us to your list of sites you got banned from for being a bellend) 07:26, 23 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 124.170.144.245 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (You have been autoblocked by the Uncyclopedia penis-size-detector. Rylie, I'm afraid your penis is too small to edit Uncyclopedia. Please try again after puberty.) 12:50, May 28, 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Benhagerty (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (KILL EVERY FIRSTBORN SON) Biopic of the Week 1 year old this week, the UnSignpost is the wiki-based newspaper vain enough to give itself a biopic! It has yet to write any featured articles, and hasn't even created a single featured image, but it's appeared on almost as many talk pages as a Modus one-liner, and is certainly the longest-lived newspaper on this wiki. Vive l'UnSignpost! Thankies of the Week The staff of the UnSignpost would like to thank all our readers for pretending to care long enough for us to reach this milestone. We couldn't have done it without you. (Well, we could, but there wouldn't have been much point). Retraction of the Week In last week's edition of the UnSignpost, the current swine flu pandemic was hailed as a blessing, and our editors expressed hope that the world population would be reduced, making references to particular groups of people as 'expendable'. We would like to express our deepest apologies for referring to this epidemic as 'swine flu', and we will henceforth refer to it by the disease's proper name: H1N1 influenza. We are truly sorry to any pigs or other members of the swine family who may have taken offense. Old School Featured Article of the Week Water Polo... With Sharks! is possibly the most difficult, dangerous, and exciting sport known to man. With only slight rules variations from normal water polo, such as the amount of hands you can have on the ball and there being sharks in the water, Water Polo... With Sharks! is the world's second fastest-growing sport, behind Texas Hold 'Em... With Rabid Wolverines! Pathetic Plea of the Week What has happened to all of the robots? The UnSignpost has gone through a seemingly endless supply of robots, and several unsuspecting and apparently bored users have also hand-delivered the paper when no automated bots were available. Lately, Sock and Dexter have joined forces to ensure prompt Signpost delivery, but surely the task of pasting the paper onto thousands hundreds dozens of talk pages will result in arm fatigue and dog attacks. Therefore, a plea: everyone create more robots! Old School 'Of the Week' Box of the Week This Week in Uncyclopedia, featured in issues 3 through three, took a look back at some of the greatest highs and crushing lows in the history of this silly wiki. Look for this box to make a triumphant return to the UnSignpost, along with other old favorites such as UU's Obscure British Dialect Expression of the Week and Reason For Leaving Uncyclopedia of the Week.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

---

Hand-delivered by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:03, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Hows it going?

Haven't seen you about, hope you're alright:)--Sycamore (Talk) 14:00, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Have you gone and caught Cajek disease? --UU - natter 14:19, May 12

Shall we release the hounds? ~ 14:31, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Did you go to Uganda and get taken Hostage for 100,000,000 Ugandan Dollars (£2.86) -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 00:19, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

/me sniffles a little extra-dramatically and wipes tears from her eyes... Daddy, you've abandoned me! -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 07:00, 13 May

Mr NNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnn.....here, robot, robot, robot! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:38, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost May 14th

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Woop Woop! it's the sound of the Police UnSignpost!

May 14th, 2009 • Issue 47 • And you will know our name is the UnSignpost when we lay our news upon you!

Wales Speaks Exclusively to UnSignpost! by UU It's the big one folks, the interview they all wanted, but we got: shy, retiring Wikimedia mogul Jimbo Wales has spoken exclusively to your UnSignpost. Wales (pictured right in happier times) took time out from his busy schedule of inserting further Liberal bias into Wikipedia to share with us his thoughts on the credit crunch, the Obama administration, the Pope's visit to the Middle East, and the future of Uncyclopedia, and the insight is literally devastating in its incisiveness. When pressed on these vital issues, Jimbo confided to us: "You kids get offa my pipe! Now, where's my lawn?" These are words that every user will interpret in their own special way - Jimbo, like all great orators, has the ability to make profound pronouncements that each and every listener will put their own unique spin on, so that it seems he is talking to them alone. Whatever pearl of wisdom you find in this oracular utterance, we are sure it is exactly what you were intended to find. Crowning Acheevement by UU UnSignpost co-editor, Imperial Colonization lynchpin and all-round star user Gerrycheevers has made Uncyclopedian history by becoming the first user ever to win all of the major monthly awards on the wiki: WotM, UotM, NotM, FPotM, and PotM. Plus RotM, although that's not really considered "major". This astonishing fact was pointed out by RAHB, proving quite conclusively that he must have no life whatsoever. When asked for comment, Gerry exclusively told us: "Well, I don't know what to say, really. I suppose my well-roundedness speaks volumes about my excessive amount of free time. My next objective will be to obtain a microphone and continue my quixotic quest to collect all of the awards". Rules < Funny: The Essay by UU Loveable Uncyc pyromaniac The Woodburninator, long known for his views on how "rules" and "funny" should relate to each other, has, in an alcohol-induced "moment of clarity", composed an essay on the subject. He encourages you to read it, and exclusively told us he questions the sexuality of everyone who doesn't. As a completely neutral wiki newspaper, the UnSignpost of course neither endorses nor doesn't endorse any of the views contained within the essay. It just agrees with some of them. Is it a Usergroup if there are no Users Grouped in it? by Joe9320 It has been about a year and a half since Uncyclopedia's once shining usergroup network stopped operating and became extinct. As ever in such circumstances, conspiracy theories have quickly sprung up to explain how this could have happened. Some say that when Chronarion left Uncyclopedia to focus on another project, he left it to the Wikia staff to do all the patrolling, which caused Uncyclopedia's domain name to be changed in October 2008, and the user groups were left to rot with no activity, like the Hittites did when they destroyed their own city and left. Others say that UNSOC killed off every other usergroup, from the Grue Army to UNATO, and had a monopoly on the usergroups. Whether the theories are true or not, the usergroups appear to have all but died. In January 2009, archaeologists from the Philippines dug through the ruins of the usergroups and found compelling evidence that there is still a small amount of activity in the UNSOC group, whose interim leader Necropaxx was heard to observe "UNSOC has about 3 or so active users right now; we just keep that gigantic list to inflate our numbers". The non-existent Cabal have not made any comment about this being a dastardly plan of theirs to ensure the "golden Age" of Uncyclopedia 2005-2007 remains sacrosanct. Because they don't exist, obviously.

Check out these pages! Rewriters, assemble! Confessions of a parody parodist Who needs publicity? From our logs: 18:42, 27 April 2009 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked I AM GOD (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(Zeus called. He wants his title back. Something about missing having an excuse for incest.) 21:58, 13 May 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.47.141.62 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(seek the definition of life in the dictionary. Hint: it does not include so called venegance against humor wikis. Also, seek the definition of vengance. Creating wiki pages does not constitue as such.) 12:49, 14 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.41.56.104 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (don't blank pages, it's proof you have even less of a life than we do.) Biopic of the Week Colin "All your base" Heaney may possibly have the most annoying username to have to copy and paste into a Signpost biopic in all of Uncyclopedia. A mainstay in such helpful roles as VFD, Colin's accomplishments include contributions to the famed Al Gore colonization, having explosions in his sig that look rather cool when he signs a bunch of times in a row, and setting the record for most electrons used in a userpage and corresponding talk page. Go Colin! Cajek Sighting of the Week Co-founder of the UnSignpost Cajek was sighted this week in an alley behind his userpage, taking out the trash. He also updated his ban counter to a robust 117 and added electricity and magic to the iron fences surrounding the Cajek Mansion. Look for an exclusive fake interview with Cajek in next week's UnSignpost! Desperate Attention Seeker of the Week 00:55, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (The) 00:55, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (UnSignpost) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Had) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Better) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Run) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (This) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Series) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (of) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Bans) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Next) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Week) (There were more. We got bored copy/pasting them. Find the rest yourself)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Hand-delivered by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:07, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Pants

Please, come back! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:07, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Where are you, man? WE NEED YOU!!!! Saberwolf116 12:31, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Daddy, Daddy I miss you! :( -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 17:36, 21 May

Even that foreign reprobate is here - where the feck are you? --UU - natter 18:21, May 21

How could you walk out on Luvvy, MrN? She's cuddly! Saberwolf116 01:40, 22 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost May 21st

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

May 21st, 2009 • Issue 48 • I've seen news you... people wouldn't believe

Glorious Cajek return story By Socky Something known as a "Cajek" apparently made some sort of return recently. According to eyewitnesses, he updated his ban counter, wrote a few articles, got some of his old articles deleted, did some nominating and voting stuff at VFH, and made several comments on user talk pages. This, seemingly, is about what he used to do, although few of our readers are old enough to remember his previous contributions to Uncyclopedia. Cajek exclusively told us the following: "Gotta go bye see ya". People disappearing, people reappearing, people with little time on their hands, bots unavailable By Socky & UU What happened to users like MrN9000, Dexter111344, GlobalTourniquet and DrStrange? Were they run over by a train? Did they suffer from a heart attack? Are they running from the law? Or are we just getting too worked up after a couple of weeks' absence? Whatever be the case, we here at the UnSignpost hope they are all right and will be returning to us in the near future. More recently, it has come to our notice that Gerrycheevers, Sonje and RabbiTechno have been missing for at least a couple of days. Perhaps there is a serial killer stalking and brutally murdering bright Uncyc talents? (Are we getting good at this whole "wild press speculation and fear-mongering" thing yet or what?) In the mean time, fortunately, several other users have made glorious returns to Uncyclopedia. As documented elsewhere, a Cajek is apparently back and doing stuff. MNM5150 has been doing some things around places, mostly the forums. Readmesoon has been spotted at VFH and a few talkpages. Yettie has been sporadically active. And Todd Lyons has been doing more stuff recently than he was doing less recently. A lot of users seem to be unable to contribute as their work/school requires them to spend their time on "useful" things. The more young adult users/little kids seem to be struggling with certain "finals", like Mahm00shA for instance. SysRq appears to be working on his graduation. Statistics show that Hyperbole's activity has been rather low, but recently increased dramatically. For how long this trend will continue is uncertain. UU has been here intermittently, but keeps proclaiming himself to be "busy". He commented "I don't have time. In fact, I may not even have time for banning and deleting today, things are going fucking nuts! [...] I have teetering mounds of work, and nowhere near enough time! Arrrrrgh! (I almost feel a second exclamation mark coming on, but nothing's that bad...)" He then proved himself to be a big fat liar by editing this story and various other bits of the UnSignpost. Additionally, while Wikipedia is being overrun by bots, they seem to have gone completely extinct on Uncyclopedia. This has led to our beloved Socky becoming partly mechanized in order to fill the role of paperbot. However, he is currently planning to get his bot operational so he won't have to tire his arse off every week. Porn! Porn! Pr0n! By Socky There has been somewhat of a controversy as of lately about the existence of supposed pornographic images on Uncyclopedia. Some support the view "Only if it's funny.", while others say "Meh." The controversy led Orian57 to put all his gay porn on QVFD. Optimuschris was quoted saying "I don't know what the fuss is all about, there's no porn on Uncyclopedia!" The discussion seems to have concluded in something like "If it's really bothering you and isn't funny in any way, delete it!" Mnbvcxz might also want to add that pictures showing prominent nudity could give rise to some legal issues, though he wasn't actually available for comment, so we can't really be sure. Usergroups! Usergroups! Usergroups! By Socky War is raging in usergroup land. IC, suffering major losses, has been grinded to a halt and was forced into defensive strategy, regressing to trench warfare. But UNSOC, with masses of new recruits, has declared an all out war against any potential competition. Meanwhile, a new powerful group has arisen, Der Unwehr, and they have established themselves as a force to be reckoned with. The Goa Tse Clan has gone into hiding and remains a mystery to most Uncyclopedians. "The End" is being foretold once more By Socky Since this UnSignpost issue almost didn't make it to the press, it was inevitable that there would be foretellings of "The End" and it being "near". On Forum:Count to a million, Orian57 was found stating "we could all die [...] then how stupid would we look?" A lot of users made somewhat eccentric speculations on how several issues were related to this "impending doom". Multiliteralist, Cajek and Optimuschris posted the following "articles" in response to a request to write something for the UnSignpost. Porn and the impending doom By Multiliteralist As we all know, the impending doom to all good things is caused by porn. This vile practice of drawing pictures of naked women has spread so wide among our young men that it is almost impossible to get them to do anything else. User groups and the impending doom By Cajek No wai, the impending doom is caused by user groups! Impending doom and porn By Optimuschris Our porn! The usergroups are coming, and with them...impending doom! Treasure these last few mumble with your porn for the end is nigh! First person article about porn and impending doom By Multiliteralist I was in a usergroup, watching porn. Suddenly I understood watching porn in a usergroup would do nothing against the impending doom. I got rather stuck, and forgot the reason. Later, I forgot about the impending doom as well. That's what watching porn in a usergroup will do to you. Suddenly I understood: if you are the first person in a usergroup, nobody can make you watch porn. My advice if you are in a usergroup and someone tries to make you watch some porn, avert your eyes! if you see porn, remember that the doom is impending. The perfect solution to problems with porn, usergroups, and the impending doom Form your own usergroup and make others watch porn!

Check out these pages! A "clever" forum topic? Has the world gone completely insane? What in the name of Sophia is a "clan"? Voting to close voting on a votey type thing? From our logs MOTHERFUCKING NIGGER LOVER SPECIAL: 21:34, 14 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Nevada" [edit=autoconfirmed] (expires 21:34, 14 May 2010 (UTC)) [move=autoconfirmed] (expires 21:34, 14 May 2010 (UTC)) ‎ (Why is the fucking nigger vandal back? I figured he would have killed himself by now, the little waste of sperm......) 01:38, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "ROMAN DOG BIRD IS A NIGGER FAGGOT WHO SUCKS MY COCK" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Anybody else here a nigger faggot? Oh, wait, we all probably are. *goes back to eating his god damn fried chicken w/ Colt 45 on the side*) 05:49, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 89.212.236.6 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Fucking one trick pony. And stop accusing all of us of being black, you worthless little prick. You do realise how gay that makes you sound when you tell us to suck your dick, right?) 05:55, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "UNDER USER IS A NIGGER FAGGOT WHO SUCKS MY COCK 24/7" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Oh, you're a clever little cookie, aren't you? I can't WAIT for you to do this me. Too bad I might not be up at the time...oh well.) 06:08, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "ROMAN DOG BIRD IS A NIGGER FAGGOT WHO SUCKS MY COCK 24/7" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Oh, fuck it, I want to see what this little mongoloid can come up with instead, if anything. But seriously folks, in all seriousness, I'm as black as they get. A friend of mine told me this once.) 18:09, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Joseph Stalin" [edit=autoconfirmed] (indefinite) [move=autoconfirmed] (indefinite) ‎ (Yeah, Bill Cosby pounded me up my gay nigger ass last night. It was HOTT.) 20:27, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 89.46.52.10 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Please end your life right now. Go take one od your father's guns, load it, put it in your mouth, and pull the trigger.) 20:30, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!" ‎ (Oh God, first the nigger vandal returns, and then you're ugly ass shows up again to "torment" us with your worthless crap. You need to kill yourself as well.) 20:31, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "Talk:UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!" ‎ (No, really. Tie a noose, put it around your head, hang yourself. Simple.) 20:32, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Yeah, yeah, we know already, you little crybaby. What did we ever do to you? Oh, wait, all you can do is cry and moan and make pages with periods and then blank them. Speech is beyond you, I guess.) 20:33, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Talk:UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (And I've never been more serious about this whole suicide thing. I've been reluctant to tell you people to do so in the past, but I really don't care anymore. It's not like you're really going to do it. I'm sure you're having a blast doing this every day.) 20:37, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "Talk:UNNEWS SUCKS!" ‎ (I'm sure you're not as much of a lower life form as I think you are. You just love doing this, knowing how much it irritates us. Me especially, as I'm the only one willing to type out messages this long in response.) 20:40, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!" ‎ (I wonder what else you'll come up with. Are you just going to keep adding exclamation points? You must be one of the angriest people on the planet or something. You're worse than Idi Amin and God combined.) 20:40, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "Talk:UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!" ‎ (And I'm sure shit like this has been done before. Originality certainly is dead. I mean, can you get any lamer?) 20:42, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!!" ‎ (But really now, what if nobody deleted this shit? What if we let you and the nigger vandal just do what you always do? Would you assimilate the website so it's all the same shit? OH! What if you two got into a conflict?! That would be comedy bronze!) 20:43, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "Talk:UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!!" ‎ (God, just imagine you two going at it, two little twats who think they're the rebellious type going at it, with.....with......oh man....) 20:50, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.96.165.178 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Yes it does. You're a real rebel aren't you? I bet you've murdered many blacks before and beaten up various others. I am TERRIFIED of you.) 20:51, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Kentuckistan" [edit=sysop] (indefinite) [move=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (You're talking about how we're nigger faggots like it's a bad thing. Well, if you keep talking about putting your dick in my mouth, that clearly makes you gay. Don't try to tell me you like women. You haven't said anything to prove this.) 22:19, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Ohio" [edit=sysop] (indefinite) [move=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Oh, so it's a domination thing, right? You can't possibly be gay since you're making me suck your cock, but I'm the one enjoying it since I'm a gay nigger, which is the type of person you hate. Right, okay, but do you like women? Y'know, with the vaginer?) 15:50, 17 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked ZooZoo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Your mother is a nigger. You are what you hate.) 17:43, 17 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.94.198.122 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (TYLER LIONS!!! YOU KEEP GETTING BETTER AND BETTER!!!!! AND MORDILLO IS A JEW, MY NIGGER!!!!!!!) 17:50, 17 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Maryland" [edit=autoconfirmed] (expires 17:50, 17 May 2010 (UTC)) [move=autoconfirmed] (expires 17:50, 17 May 2010 (UTC)) ‎ (Tyler Lions? Never heard a more niggerish name then that! Let's lynch 'em!!!!!!) 20:27, 17 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Louisiana" [edit=autoconfirmed] (expires 20:27, 17 May 2010 (UTC)) [move=autoconfirmed] (expires 20:27, 17 May 2010 (UTC)) ‎ (Well, you're finally listening to me! But Hitler's been long dead! How the fuck is he going to take out Mordildo? Don't talk for my nigguh hitler, man.) 15:42, 18 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Work" [edit=sysop] (expires 15:42, 18 May 2010 (UTC)) [move=sysop] (expires 15:42, 18 May 2010 (UTC)) ‎ (Yo nigga, imma gonna break free from deese chains and fill yo cracka ass up wit mah dick, honkey bitch) Biopic of the Week MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER is the token black admin. Known for his rampant homosexuality and love of sucking the cocks of racist vandals, he's forever spoiling the fun of innocent, hardworking vandals by deleting their masterpieces about their friends, and then adds insult to injury by banning them with excitable and lengthy comments. Bastard. He'll probably get lynched by the KKK before too long. Cajek Notice of the Week He was banned a couple times. No, seriously. See for yourself.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Brought to you by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:50, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Bots

Well, I'm thinking about getting myself an operational bot, any advice is welcome. Also, please come back! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 08:48, 22 May 2009 (UTC)

WHERE ARE YOU?

You thought I forgot about you, huh? I didn't! I was waiting for you to do stuff so I could bother you! HURRY UP AND COME BACK!!!   Le Cejak • <14:17 May 22, 2009>

Hey Faggot!

Or alternatively, hi there! I noticed your name was listed on IC. I also noticed that our latest project is in need of some help. So I put two and two together and realized I should ask Modus. When he told me to get bent, I immediately thought of you. I'm setting an arbitrary deadline for this one at next week Saturday, so if sometime in the next week you can tear yourself away from your porn collection and maybe contribute a line or two it'd be appreciated. We're counting on you, <insert name here>! -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:21, 23 May Dictated; not read.

Also: Hurry back, Uncyc needs you! Hope all is well with your move and whatnot. -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:21, 23 May

UnSignpost! May 28th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

May 28th, 2009 • Issue 49 • The kind of news your momma warned you about

Going Portal by UU Under conditions of great secrecy, a select group of talented volunteers has been slaving away at the wiki-coalface, dedicating themselves to the selfless task of bringing Uncyclopedia a dedicated selection of portal pages. And now their tireless efforts are starting to bear fruit, with the first few being linked on the Main Page by noted twirly star of David, Mordillo. He proudly flagged them up as "new!", until Bradaphraser, more accurately understanding the IQ of the average Uncyclopedian, flagged then as "newd!" instead. What, some of you may ask, are portal pages? Well, rather than have us explain it laboriously for you (because that sounds like, you know, effort), why not take a look at the following highly sexy portals: Politics; Games; Science; History and Art. And with more to come including the intriguing concept of a Quaint portal from Cajek, one thing's for sure: there has recently been an increase in the number of portals on Uncyclopedia. What? Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia! by Docile hippopotamus Actually, Nile and Nile related articles are not invading Uncyclopedia - we merely wanted to say that to see if you, the reader, were gullible enough to believe it. And you were. More like, "Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia hoax!" Let's find out what Sir Edward Mahm00shA, professor of Egyptian history and archaeology at Oxford university exclusively had to say about this: "It is a lie. And Ra saw it was no good. And the band is with me. And they hath uttered not a word about invading Uncyclopedia. Verily! Ra hacketh off the phallus of he who lieth". See now? Undeniable proof from Sir Edward Mahm00shA that the band is chilling with him and have not even mentioned invading Uncyclopedia. We also asked the wealthy Egyptian and Babylonian antique collector Mr. Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar the 1st to comment and he exclusively replied: "Nile doesn't have any power. Now the Tigris-Euphrates, that's a different story". Not only does this tell us that the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists are cooler than Nile conspiracists, but that Nile could not invade Uncyclopedia even if they wanted to, and you should be afraid of the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists - very afraid. To sum it up, there is no Nile and Nile related articles invasion of Uncyclopedia, just as there is no cabal.

Check out these pages! A true Uncyc legend returns! Promise to make a vote, the whole vote and nothing but the vote Big audio dynamite From our logs: 19:47, 25 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 88.208.208.132 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Yep, you're really trying, I see. Great, keep the laughs coming, Mr. Funny Man.) 09:37, 25 May 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 209.146.77.35 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You meant "make love to me, she dog") 20:43, 24 May 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 41.154.2.5 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Vandalizing articles, smearing dog shit all over Todd Lyons's car, etc.) 10:48, 23 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 210.211.138.192 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (don't blank, I'm running out of insulting ban reasons.) Biopic of the Week Todd Lyons has been on Uncyclopedia forever. No, seriously, he started editing in 2005 - and he's still here! He cut his article writing teeth on Dwight Schultz, and went on to write a further 98 of the buggers, while nailing his first feature with Fecal E.Coli, which started a run of 18.5 front page appearances up to the recent Kinsey Report No. 3: Sexual Behavior in Hamsters. He's been an admin longer than most of our readership have been users. Put together. And he still has all his own teeth, he tells us! Blatant Filler of the Week This box here, which is blatant padding so the formatting of this issue looks about right. Cajek ban of the Week 22:16, 26 May 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Unacceptable username: ...too few recent bans for my liking....)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

The only newspaper to be delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:38, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

A month later

And we all still miss you! Come back, Pants! Saberwolf116 15:36, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost June 4th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!

June 4th, 2009 • Issue 50 • I love the smell of news in the morning!

Todd not Lionised by all? By UU Uncyclopedia's long-cherished status as the worst was given a massive fillip this week with the discovery that genial admin Todd Lyons has his own Facebook hate group. This considerable accomplishment has to be considered among the highest praise ever bestowed on an admin of this wiki. Kosher kvetcher Mordillo even opined that it makes him the #1 admin on the wiki, as "even Mhaille doesn't have a hate group!" Lyons himself was deeply touched by the tribute, exclusively telling the USP: "I'm a bit surprised (though not touched, like the WotM nomination this month), because I generally shy away from the snappy/nasty ban summaries that would guarantee me a spot in the UnSignpost. Really, RDB is my #1 pick for this, and richly deserves to have a hate group on Facebook (if not several dozen by now). :) Second, if I had any insecurities that I'd lost my touch with the ban hammer after being on hiatus, they're gone. The arm's feeling great. The surgery seems to have been a 100% success. I'm feeling good that I'll be able to finish out the season and hopefully garner some interest as a bureaucrat when I become a free agent this fall." The group's creator was unavailable for comment, probably due to being banned. Comings and Goings By Gerrycheevers As you may or may not have noticed, there recently seems to be a flurry of returns and hiatuses (hiati?) on this silly wiki that some of us like to call Uncyclopedia. This could be due to a number of things: the end of the school year and thus the end of studying and finals; the summer season causing new and strange emotions in internet comedy writers; the revolving door recently installed at the Uncyclopedia headquarters. Regardless of the reason, those returning have been 'welcomed', and those leaving have been warned that their userpages will be mercilessly vandalized should their vacation extend overly long. Popular aquatic creature user Finnius claims to have returned. His contributions since returning have thus far been limited to announcing his return in the forum (as required by Uncyclopedia Bylaw #435), but the Unsignpost is confident of a return laced with quality pee and other, less pungent useful contributions. The elusive Cajek, a mythical creature once thought to exist only in the surreal dreams of squirrels, has returned gloriously upon the back of a giant squirrel. So at least some part of the myth was true. Take that, science! Other returns include Dexter111344 after a brief hiatus and Gouncyclopedia!, who evaded a years-long block to announce his return in the forums (UB435 again). Perhaps the most noted of all, faithful new dog Dognewspaper returns from a one-month hiatus to appear in this story. Other users have seen a decline or all-out drop-off in their contribution level. SysRq remains on an indefinite hiatus. Gerrycheevers has seen his number of edits dwindle as of late. MrN9000 is still among the missing. Codeine is apparently gone as well, and Necropaxx will be losing his precious internet. We bid these users to hurry back, lest their userpages and works be smited with the hammer of pointless vandalism.

Check out these pages! Image spam Another one bites the dust Admin competence? From our logs: 01:08, 3 June 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.8.59.236 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (So far you've edited the pages 'your mom' and 'school'. Want me to try and guess your age?) 07:46, 2 June 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.17.189.150 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (bored fuckes should go fuck boards. It's too early in the morning and I can't think of anything smart to say) 20:04, 30 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 174.117.160.23 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Cyberbullying: we don't want to hear about people you know and why you want to suck their dick. I know that's not quite what you said, but something about what you said implied it) 20:38, 29 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked Da Wizard Of Oz (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (PLEASE MASSUH WHIP ME, OH MAH GOD, I'M GETTIN' SO HOT, I'LL SUCK YO DICK!!!!!!) Biopic of the Week The very Reverend Zim ulator is the undisputed, acknowledged, and slightly puce master of UnNews. As such, reporting about him in a newspaper may be an act of such metaphysical self-referentialism that it creates a negative feedback loop, destroying the universe, or at least this wiki. But, in the name of bringing Zim's name to our readership, that's a risk we're willing to take. We'd normally link to a bunch of stuff he's done at this point, but just take a look at UnNews - as we mentioned, he's basically the guy who keeps it all tickin'. Rats off to ya, Zim! Old School Featured Article of the Week In a week when Obama is trying to reach out to the Muslim community, perhaps it is an apt time to consider how far he is going to have to reach. Will he ever be able to bridge the gap all the way to the readership of American Fundie Magazine? "The magazine for "True Christians™", was formed to cater to the needs of the modern biblical fundamentalist", and is just as relevant today as it was way back in 2006. VFD kept article of the week Plan 11 from Outer Space has been referred to as "amusing", "pretty funny" and "hilarious". Go see why people thought it worth having around.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Delievered by Saberwolf116 02:04, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

An important announcement from your friends at IC.

Did you know *snicker*...Ahem. Did you know that SYSRQ IS TEH GHEYZORS? LOLOLOL!

Also, we've decided to keep our Colonization preojects contained to Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/project for your watchlisting convenience. Put it in your watchlist and try to remember to add a cuss word or something once in a while eh?

Also also, I heard that Gerry likes the smell of his own farts.

Have fun Colonizers and let's be careful out there. -OptyC Sucks! CUN14:55, 6 Jun

Adopt a n00b program

Aloha, and welcome from sunny Melbourne.

I'm a n00b, although I'm not too sure what a n00b is. Apparently people are trying to pwn me, and I don't know what pwning is. In fact, I'm still trying to grasp the entire concept of taking without vowels. Cn y hlp m?

MrN is on extended hiatus. You probably want to ask someone else. ~ 07:49, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost June 11th/12th/whatever

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way they did!

June 11th, 2009 • Issue 51 • Also available in convenient suppository form!

"Uncyclopedia Worst, Boys Smelly" Declares User By Gerrycheevers In a move that shocked the Uncyclopedia community, female user Kamikazewatermelon09 this week posted a topic in the lovable Pancake House of Benson. The shocking part of the incident was that an actual girl visited Uncyclopedia. Hooray! Our numerous virgin users can now cross off 'make contact with a woman (without giving a credit card number) over the internet, phone, or via smoke signal' from the list of steps towards achieving manhood. Though we can't help you with that face-to-face stuff...we hear that genre of contact is terrifying. The content of the post was too lengthy and riddled with cooties for the male, attention span deficient UnSignpost editors to actually read. Furthermore, the UnSignpost Executive Board refuses to add cootie insurance to the UnSignpost employee health plan. However, resident awesome potatochopper and known girl Sonje was recruited to read the message and react as if she had been asked a clever question by a hypothetical handsome UnSignpost reporter. From her exclusive comments, it seems that the topic poster was disappointed in the vulgarity and immaturity displayed by many of our gentlemen users. "I find the crassness rather endearing," Sonje responded, "in moderation." So, the moral of the story is: the users who really count will forgive us our occasional desire to cuss a blue streak or upload some boob-related images. So...go nuts! Cabal Criticism of the Week By: Gerrycheevers This week, lead Cabalist Mordillo blocked The Wizard Of Oz with an expiry time of Judgement Day, and did not provide a reason for the epic pwning. We here at the UnSignpost would like to call out Mordillo on this lack of explanation. Not as a courtesy to the user, which he certainly did not earn through his insertions of a weird version of a California article into several unseeming places. No, we would like to know why Mordillo did not take advantage of an opportunity that was ripe with comedic potential. Surely this poor soul's username could have resulted in a ban reason referencing shiny red shoes or flying monkeys? A statement concerning the location of the user being a place that is not Kansas? We would have settled for a measly 'looking for a brain' line. But instead, you left us hanging, Mordillo. We'd like to officially call you on it, and we take comfort in knowing that though you can ban the editors, and you can ban our freedom, you can never ban the UnSignpost. Though, on second thought, you could delete it.

Check out these pages! Invisible Forum! Happy Birthday Sonic80! Happy Birthday Woody! Happy Birthday Modusoperandi! FREAKING LIAR! From our logs: 15:19, 7 June 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 94.192.116.120 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎(How To: Fuck off for 3 months) 17:49, 7 June 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.1.87.74 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(one two fuck you!) 10:00, 8 June 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.190.33.94 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(comedy website. all football clubs get equal treatment here - ie a merciless slagging. mind you, chelsea really do suck.) Biopic of the Week Of all of the writers enshrined in the Uncyclopedia Hall of Shame, Electrified mocha chinchilla has the highest number of featured articles without having ever been profiled in the UnSignpost. Whoops, not anymore. Anyway, his list of works reads like a what's-what of awesomeness. The entity known as e|m|c also organized and ran several Poo Lit Surprise competitions. Worshipful notes and pie can be sent to his talk page. Retraction of the Week In last week's exceedingly humorous edition of the UnSignpost, we referred to Uncyclopedia Bylaw #435 was requiring all returning users to announce themselves in the forums. This is actually Bylaw #453. We apologize for the mistake, and also from the confusion resulting from the real Bylaw #435, which states that every 94 days a user's dog must be sacrificed to the Rancor. Sorry Led, and get well Fluffy! This Week in Uncyc, 1215 The Magna Carta was signed by King John of England, granting certain rights to serfs, peasants, slaves, farmers, and servants. This was immediately parodied in Ye Olde Signeposte, Uncyclopedia's bi-weekly periodical of the time. It was depicted as a document that forced King John to admit he had the power to tax servants, control every aspect of farmer's lives, and shoot serfs in his Royal Preserves for sport.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

I think I'm going crazy. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:06, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Where are my pants?

It's on everybody's mind! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:11, 13 June 2009 (UTC)

I'm sad too say that MrN is gone. Saberwolf116 17:18, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

That asshole? Gone? Don't count on it... :P apologiesand general excuses for absence will probably follow at some point in the future. I am however back. Hi Guys... I missed ya. MrN 00:45, Jun 15

Oh look, it's that guy that likes to spell my name wrong. Also I'm UU's new best friend so narny narny narny nar nar! :P Good to see you!    Orian57    Talk   00:48 15 June 2009

You to dude. I hope all is well. It's going to take me a while to catch up on all that has been going on... Why did I come back? Mhaille and Mordillo told me to. Simple eh? MrN 00:50, Jun 15

Oh it was nothing but the usual. Although I think I heard that VFD fell apart a little while ago.    Orian57    Talk   00:54 15 June 2009

Hmm. How did they tell you? Also, you're up on UGOTM. Saberwolf116 01:03, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

He's a witch! Burn the witch! BURN THE WITCH!    Orian57    Talk   01:08 15 June 2009

You buggers. That UGOTM nom really made me giggle. Thanks dude. MrN 01:10, Jun 15

Being serious for a moment here. 2 things: 1.You might want to put yourself on AA, Mordillo took you off. 2.WHERE TEH FUCK WERE YOU???? Saberwolf116 01:11, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

I have a really long list of excuses somewhere. Honest I do. Can I just say that a lot of stuff has changed at MrN towers, and it's taken a while for things to settle down. All is good now though, so I hope to be able to return to something like my old form sometime soon. Again, sorry for not being here. MrN 01:23, Jun 15

No problem. To offer a summary of events: Finnius returned to the wiki, I made a really cool forum, and you got knocked out of the top 10 on PR. That's about it. Saberwolf116 01:24, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

This sig is brand new. And I've hit my 70th review (68th in-depth). And have recently passed 9000 edits.    Orian57    Talk   01:34 15 June 2009

MrN! Welcome back! also...

...could I give you a list of pages to protect against IPs? It would help so much   Le Cejak • <2:53 Jun 15, 2009>

• God
• Neon Genesis Evangelion
• Gangsta
• Muslim
• Metroid
• Ann Coulter

for starters   Le Cejak • <2:54 Jun 15, 2009>

Don't forget Snakes on a Plane, You Are Gay, Wikipedia and 9/11... Saberwolf116 03:01, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

I was also planning to clean up Richard Dawkins at some point but it gets vandalised almost daily. Not too fussed though, if I do end up looking after it I have roll back.    Orian57    Talk   03:05 15 June 2009

Guys? You want me to do admin stuffs? Dam these extra buttons! I just un-protected Gay actually. Also, you probably know my answer :P I'm happy to look at each page on a case by case basis.. Looking at those pages... What is the reason guys? None of them appear to have shit loads of vandalism, they are just popular pages. We are not conservapedia and we take pride in the fact that we allow IPs to urinate all over our articles... No seriously though... I know the whole registered users only debate has been taken through before, so I guess without opening that can of worms again (don't please!!!) I'm not sure much can change. The thing you need to think of is this... Yea, we could protect everything, we would get less vandalism, and would need to do less reverts. But then we would be no better than people like conservapedia who know they can't keep their wiki how they want it, so they are forced to use protection. For me, it's a last resort. I REALLY like the fact that any one can edit Muslim. If anyone wants to change it, they can. Muslim is racist, and in my view not really that funny. However it's been like that for a while so OK, keep it. However if we lock it, and then someone comes along and finds it's locked they are going to think we are assholes. Also not having pages protected says to the other (non open wiki) look at us you losers, who is closer to reality? We don't need to protect our articles, you do because your views are so far from what most people think.

Do you get what I'm ranting on about? No? OK, fine. Look I never wanted to be a lumberjack. I wanted to be a...

Anyway... I have ideas for articles. Good ideas. ;) It's late here now and I need bed soon... Anyway, I will get a new article going tomorrow, and maybe someone might be up for another great collab? MrN 03:19, Jun 15

Pfft. They're IP magnets, and IPs that don't have the balls to make an account, don't deserve to edit popular articles! right? RIGHT? I'm guessing so! (By the way, I just did a huge listicide, quoticide, templaticide, and Uncyclopedia:Wikipedia on a lot of these articles. Please? Me tired!)   Le Cejak • <3:25 Jun 15, 2009>

We could lock the entire database to be protected from IPs. Sannse could do that with one click I believe. We don't cos... We is a wiki and anyone can edit. ;) MrN 03:36, Jun 15

Okay, that revert guy didn't explain why he reverted. Look at the changes yourself, N! Oh, fine.   Le Cejak • <3:25 Jun 15, 2009>

Look these are good ideas for article you know! Dude, you are making me feel REALLY OLD you know. You know all this stuff better than me I'm sure. It's shit, I know. It's a wiki, we have to let people edit. If we don't then we become what we hate. Yes that's right... We become Under user!!!!. That bugger. Where is he anyway? Love ya UU!!! Help!!! Cajek is attacking me, fend him off with a big stick or something! MrN 03:36, Jun 15

I left a message on his talk page anyways... MrN 03:45, Jun 15

You fucker

• SMACK* Never do that again!! Do you hear me?!?! I was just about to release the hounds! Also, welcome back. Fucker. ~ 07:31, 15 June 2009 (UTC)
  • You, you fucker owe me a trip to Amsterdam. MrN 10:50, Jun 15
    • I OWE YOU A TRIP TO AMSTERDAM?!?!? /me takes out a sledgehammer Now you bring your sorry arse over here so I can kick it! ~ 10:52, 15 June 2009 (UTC)
      • Tomorrow? This weekend? My contract is finished now, and I'm not currently working so I'm all yours. Hope to catch you in IRC tonight... MrN 10:57, Jun 15
        • Well, I'll think about, you leaver you /me grumble grumble grumble ~ 12:10, 15 June 2009 (UTC)
          • Can I come, too? Can I? Can I? I promise I'll be cuddly for the most part... ;) -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 12:18, 15 Jun

I am drunk and horny

and will be raping you soon... BEWARE! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 07:44, 15 June 2009

Same with me... Drunk and hallucinating Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 07:47 June 15 '09

Cheers. :-) /me bends over MrN 10:50, Jun 15

Oh, it's you

I remember you, I think. Didn't we do that thing that one time? And then you did another thing, and we all laughed and banned Cajek? Yeah, I remember it as if it was only yesterday. Have you learned how to spell "hey" yet? Also, Orian's stalking me. Again. Do you have a can of homo-repellent spray? --UU - natter 08:12, Jun 15

OMGOMGOMG!DADDYIVEMISSEDYOUSOMUCH *gasps for air* *pants* OMGISITREALLYYOU?! To return to being more serious and seemingly slightly more on the sensible side. It's good to see you're back. I'm taking an extended hiatus off of irc, but I might make an exception for you to catch up on old times some day. *hugs* Is it really you?! Welcome back. (And oh Daddy, I still haven't written a featured article. I think I'm a failure after all.) -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 08:43, 15 Jun

Many thanks UU. Hope to catch up soon Luvvy. From what I remember there could be lot to talk about! MrN 10:51, Jun 15

Well, not necessarily that much. I added the email user thing to my user page's menu, so if I'm not in irc, that's at least bound to catch my attention. ;) -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 11:17, 15 Jun

YOU'RE BACK!

That's nice. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 09:52, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks man. It's good to see you still around also. MrN 10:52, Jun 15

Glad to have you back, dude. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 12:21, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

bandwagons are fun

i also would like to welcome you back to this silly project we sink so much time into called a humor wiki. and what's this about getting back to writing? admins aren't allowed to write anything!! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:36, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

The bandwagon and my nostalgia at seeing your disturbing yet shiny breasts again drew me here, welcome back Mr. Pants. --^Dame 13:40, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Glad to have you back. also, Mordillo wants your opinion, or something. Saberwolf116 13:53, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Would you happen to be free for 10 mins?

Pop by irc, will ya? Query me, I'm not in the channel atm... -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 16:45, 15 Jun

Sure, give me a few mins, I need to grease my IRC trousers. What's your user ID? MrN 16:48, Jun 15

"Luvvy". What else? :D -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 16:50, 15 Jun

You around, Daddy? -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 19:34, 16 Jun

I'll be horrible and whore for you a sec. I'm working on this one semi-secret project. Also, what happened to that one project you were trying to get me to help you rewrite? I think I'd be prepared to give you a hand if you still need one. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 02:36, 17 Jun

Hmm, well I had a look. Um??? What the when where? I'm lost. Where would that be used? I'm not sure about this one actually young lady... MrN 10:12, Jun 17

Mostly me linking to it from any possible future review requests. Likely not in the near future, though. It was a means for me to redirect all that anger, hate, PMS and general frustration towards some noob "reviewers" for their general lack of a broader view than "*Fart* HAHA!" humour. I don't do random humour, and I don't do slapstick. And I used to work as a school teacher back in the days, so I know how to word my own feedback so it doesn't offend people quite as much as it otherwise might. I made a sort of a choice of principle to not formally request for a pee, or ask for good reviewers for their permission to smack their PRIP template on the request prior to when I create it. That way some of the idiots who think they can review well just because they've completed a few reviews and made it to fresh stains will stay away from my articles... But since I chose to not perhaps ever again submit my writing for a pee review unless the reviewer knows what the hell they're up to... :( Isn't it better to crack my IQ at some formatting code and play in my sandbox bashing toys than to troll around people's talk pages biting their heads off? -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 10:19, 17 Jun

Hmm... *looks Luvvy up and down* I'm not sure about this one. Sometimes you get a pants review, sometimes ya don't. The best thing to do is just not get upset about it, and just put in for another one. It IS going to happen to ya. I doubt if this template thing would actually help. Might actually get people thinking you are a bit of a dick actually. I may be wrong, but I guess you are asking for my opinion, so that's kinda it. I'm not sure about this... Maybe if you changed the wording a lot, and made it a lot more simple (and less demanding) it might be more useful... As you know, the way to get a good review is to find someone who does reviews that you like... Find something which THEY need reviewing, review it for them, and trade your review for theirs. Look down the list of pending reviews, and see who is waiting for a review, and have a word with them on their talk page. Most people are happy to trade reviews if they know they will get a good one from you... That's probably better than what you are trying to do here. IMO obviously... MrN 10:29, Jun 17

I'm not saying I'd start plastering it around all over the place, let alone that it's done. It isn't. My method of writing is after all to get it started somewhere. If that means I vent all the frustration I have brewing in my mind into my user space, I will. As I said, the alternative when I was as angry as I was last time would have been going into flamewarrior mode, just to educate those bad reviewers. My defence mechanism against sinking down to their level is to redirect my energy elsewhere. Now, are you in irc, by any chance? -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 10:35, 17 Jun

Should be later tonight... Hope to catch you then. And Mordillo if his is stalking me again... MrN 10:39, Jun 17

I'll be at work and back at midnight-ish my local time (and no, I'm not in Vancouver, Canada), where I'm blocked from using teh interwebz. My editing will be limited to what I can pull off on a Nokia 5800, and it's not exactly meant for lengthy editing. Mordillo's talk page broke the phone's browser at least a couple of times. You should really consider getting into that "IM" thing people talk about, you know? -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 10:46, 17 Jun

9001

Do you think you could assign your bot to deliever next week's UnSignpost? Socky is going a little insane from delievering it, and I doubt i'll ever be the same after I did. Saberwolf116 16:58, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Sure. Post a link to it here. :) MrN 17:10, Jun 15

If i'm correct, Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/18-06-09 should be the next one. Saberwolf116 17:23, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

OK, cool. Give me another poke here on this page when it's done and ready to go out... Oh, don't forget Mnbvcxz is also a bot operator if I'm not around... MrN 17:25, Jun 15

Good to know the whole family will be back together again! Mr9000  05:07, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

It will be just like old times. We could sit round the fire and sing songs. Wait! Where did you come from! I'm starting to wonder if you really are me. Notice how you return just when I do? You sir are obviously my sockpuppet. MrN 05:15, Jun 16

Faggot!

How's it been? You went missing so I decided to go missing, too, but I already came back. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 17:16, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

I was wondering if you would drag your flaccid arse over here. It's good to see you also dude. Seriously. I was forgetting how many friends I have on here. Not that you included in that list. Obviously. You know I loves ya MrN 17:22, Jun 15

Thanks for the Help

Gracias on giving me a few tidbits of advice on the Backstreet Boys Section, I'm new at editing, I hope to work on this article a bit more in the future. I admit I might have gone a tad (see: Extremely) overboard on my edits, but I'm enjoying it.

Anyhoo, feel free to give me advice on this, Thank you! --Umbreon359 17:41, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

I am REALLY not the person to advise about this particular article! Can't say I'm their biggest fan... :P I would say though, try to make sure you leave an edit summary when you edit. Especially when you are hacking out lots of crap as that helps us admin types spot who is up to no good and who (like you) is actually here cos they want to write some good stuff. Good luck with the article. If you need any help with the tech side of stuff let me know, but in terms of editing that one, I'm lost... Have fun. MrN 17:57, Jun 15

PA!

You're back! I was starting to get worried. Now get the fuck out of here. Good to have you back! -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:13, 16 Jun

Everyone has been so cordial. MrN 19:15, Jun 16

SuperGuy's ban should be infinite

He's ban-dodging several other infinite bans. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:48, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

I'm glad I didn't see it, but what was actually in that Socky image? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:49, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

The basic image, but he had sunglasses and a beard. Also, instead of Frankie, Todd was being told to suck it. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:51, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

What was the "basic" image again? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:54, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

The image of the guy in the car with a giant penis. That image has been on the Internet for more than 10 years now. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:56, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

Oh right. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:58, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

1 year is far more insulting. MrN 20:52, Jun 16

Oi You!

I've been going to IRC for the last two days to get a glimpse of your ugly face. And nothing! Nothing! ~ 13:52, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

I was there I swear! Possibly a tad later than yourself, possibly... Um. I have got my PS3 running here through some odd firewall thinggy thing, so I can't get to IRC. Bugger. There is a "minor problem" also... As I have just moved house I have sent my passport off to have the address changed. So... Um. No passport for a bit. :) A certain Luvvy keeps trying to goad me into IRC also, so I will be in later tonight. MrN 14:00, Jun 17

Meh, I'm not sure I want to talk to you anymore, I never chased a bloke so much. You better be worth it! ~ 14:12, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

When I spoke with Mr Teckno (who was in IRC the last time I was) he sounded up for the visit also... MrN 14:15, Jun 17

First thing first, I'm coming over to London late July. Prepare for a night out. The Guinness must flow! ~ 14:33, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

"Goad"? You're a goa... *cough* Anyways, would my financial situation happen to be in order (any of you gents want to play 'sugar daddy'?) I could tag along... However my head can't take alcohol very well, so who knows whom I'd wake up in bed with... O.o -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 16:59, 17 Jun

Sanne. ~ 19:05, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

Sannse?! O_O You've got to be kidding. (I hope you are...) -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 21:37, 17 Jun

signpost delivery

howdy, MrN. might you have brought your robot buddy back with you when you made your glorious return? if so, would said robot buddy be able to deliver this weeks signpost sometime today? it's just about finished up. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 12:58, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Oh yay! 9001, I missed him.    Orian57    Talk   13:10 19 June 2009

ok, here it is, hot off the presses! thanks so much. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:19, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! June 18th/19th!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

June 18th, 2009 • Issue 52 • Thinly sliced news, between two slices of humor, with lettuce and hollandaise sauce

Votes for Sandwiches Officially Opens By Gerrycheevers This week, Votes for Sandwiches was established by Uncyclopedia Internetist and Lead Executive of Sandwiches, Spang. Previously some sort of secret cabal hazing page, lead cabalists have thrown the doors of VFS open to reveal thinly sliced meats on a variety of breads. Or they would have, if the cabal existed, which it doesn't. Official Cabal Spokesman Mordillo exclusively explained the new feature best: "The cabal, as part of its never-ending efforts to assert its all-consuming control over the citizenry, has now introduced voting for sandwiches. Each editor will be required to eat the elected sandwiches for the entire following month. Members of the cabal will closely observe voter's decisions to make sure that no vile sandwiches, such as BAKED BEANS ON TOAST WITH MELTED CHEESE, will be chosen. That's just vile. Editors will not be allowed to protest over the "democratically" "chosen" "sandwich". We're not Iran." Reactions to the new voting page were mixed. Some users were excited for the opportunity to express their fondness towards various lunches, provided that those lunches are a sandwich. "I'm glad that sandwiches, a comedy staple due to their low-priced nature and assembly so simple that even a writer can construct one, are finally getting their due on Uncyclopedia," said resident criminology term Modusoperandi. Others were not so supportive of the move, and point to recent disturbing trends since the introduction of VFS, the most disturbing being the raiding of the fridge in the Uncyclopedia break room and the subsequent theft of all sandwiches. Well, maybe not all sandwiches, but one specifically marked "gerry's. do not eat." So far no group has claimed responsibility for this act of sandwich-related terrorism. I will find you, you little punk! And when I do, you're making me another sandwich! Comebacks! Only $19.95! Call Now! By: Saberwolf116 Following a month and a half hiatus, resident VFD overlord and prince of pants MrN9000 is alleged to have returned to the wiki. According to reliable sources, MrN was spotted responding to his talk page and maintaining QVFD, among various other tasks. What other things he may do remains to be seen. We do know, however, that he has been welcomed warmly by the community, with Mordillo giving him the brand new nickname "fucker" and various users bestowing an award of reliability on him. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! Call Now And Get 2 for the Price Of 1! By: Gerrycheevers Following in MrN's robotically symmetrical footsteps was noted keyboard component SysRq. After many weeks of inactivity, Sys has returned to once again putter the Imperial Colonization ship around Uncyclopedia Harbor. He has described his goals as "re-assimilate as best I can" and "Go to hell, Dex". We would like to welcome both of these users back to the loving Uncyclopedia family, and urge them to GET BACK TO WORK!! Things Brewing In IRC By Sockpuppet of an unregistered user People are yelling at each other, stalking each other, and randomly talking to one another. What I am talking about is, of course, IRC, the highly controversial melting pot of Uncyclopedia, where users of all stands, races, and levels of activity can talk about unimportant issues. It has recently come to our attention that ruthless battles were being fought on the fields of IRC. Our correspondent decided to check things out for himself. He was confronted with gay dinosaurs, Star Wars references and general dickery. Though this one time visit cannot render a clear view of the complex nature of IRC, it might give us a glimpse into the mind of the common IRCer. The dark, mysterious character of IRC remains.

Check out these pages! Release personal details here. Overractions! Slander! Hot Republican Chicks with Guns! Death To Our Enemies, or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love Illogicopedia. From our logs: 14:37, 11 June 2009 Cs1987 (Talk | contribs) blocked Cs1987 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a nice stroll in the park ‎(The only edit I can make on this website right now is blocking myself. Woohoo!) 15:42, 12 June 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for The Wizard Of Oz (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) ‎(Follow the yellow brick road to oblivion! Put on your red shoes and dance! dance! Ackowledge that you're no longer in Kansas, Toto. And yes I am the wicked witch of the west. I have a wart to prove it) 12:11, 16 June 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 94.101.164.1 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎(vandullism - and your cheese looks old and stale anyway. bring me something fresher. and a red onion chutney - let's do this properly) Biopic of the Week Sonje ~ Bursting onto the Uncyclpedia scene in March 2009, this spunky female user already has quite the impressive resume. Her six featured images speak of her monumental potatochopping abilities, and she won consecutive Potatochopper of the Month awards. Yeah, that's right. Consecutive. We look forward to many more expertly manipulated images and other general awesomery from Sonje in the months to come. Old School Featured Article of the Week Continuing in the vaguely sandwich-related theme, Sausage Butty Batter Nuggets are a staple of English cuisine. With a complicated recipe that often leads to dangerous and/or hilarious consequences, this food is nevertheless a highly desirable meal for any self-respecting gentleman or lady in England, and is often served at croquet competitions and monocle-wearing contests. Pictured at right is the extra-crunchy West Country variety. This Week in Uncyc, 3500 BC The Great Pyramids of Giza, one of the greatest technological and engineering feats in human history, was parodied in the monthly Uncyclopedia newsletter Bird, Bird, Crocodile, Man With Dog Face, Bird, which was painstakingly written on papyrus reeds by dozens of slaves. In the periodical, the Pyramids were described as "just okay", and were depicted as a stepping stone to grander projects such as Great Cubes and perhaps even a Great Octagonal Prism. Reason to Leave Uncyclopedia of the Week #12: Space issues. With so many users returning, and Cajek refusing to grant access to the Cajek Mansion (which takes up over 60% of all Uncyclopedia's property), there just isn't enough room for us all.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

You'd think I'd learn that this isn't fun to do... Oh well. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:47, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Aligning the text to the right hand side of the page...

Seems to be a mother of a thing to do. I've tried <span style="text-align=right"> and a number of grandmother fingering variants, but I still can't get the delightful thing to do what I would like. First person to give me an answer gets a very satisfying sexual experience.Nominally Humane! some time

Never mind - going to give myself a satisfying sexual experience now.Nominally Humane! some time 05:48, 21 June 2009 (UTC)

Mmmkay

It's been six days, make with the pants. Saberwolf116 00:43, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Me? Pup

Unsignpost! June 25th or 30th

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

We're delivering it to your door anyways!

June 25th, 2009 • Issue 53 • The newspaper that steals other newspapers' lunch money

Users Campaign to Delete Vast Portions of Uncyclopedia By Gerrycheevers Several users have recently begun campaigns to rid Uncyclopedia of some of its oldest, cruftiest, stalest content, or so they would have you believe. We at the UnSignpost aren't here to report anything other than the facts, including but not limited to: opinions, speculation, and pictures of cats with funny captions. First on the chopping block was the Timeline series. This group of articles apparently chronicles the made-up version of history as recorded by people who aren't very funny. Dr. Skullthumper has taken the lead in the crusade against this unholy document, and reactions on the wiki were, as usual, mixed. Some users supported the good doctor, while others appreciated his sentiment but enjoyed the crisp, fresh smell of proper procedure much better. Noted deletionist Gwax made an appearance in order to streamline the effort to remove all of the unfunniness from the timeline, and he has been joined by several other users seeking to improve rather than delete the entire project. Next in line for the guillotine was Uncyclopedia's longest-running and only soap opera, The Young and the Uncyclopedians. At the head of this movement is prominent murderous amphibian Thekillerfroggy, who made such bold claims as "Vanity, sir!" and "Words words words!" As this project is not merely a page but an entire slew of pages, it was rejected by the Uncyclopedia Deletion Tribunal, but further actions may be in the works. When reached for comment about the situation, Uncyclopedia founder Chronarion responded, "AAAAAAAA!!!!" Usefulness of IP Contributions Called Into Question...Again By Gerrycheevers The question of whether or not we should allow IPs to edit our precious humor wiki has been raised yet again, this time by plucky Der Unwehr founder Guildensternenstein. UnSignpost reporters were baffled by the concept of what an IP was, until it was explained that it is some sort of automatic vandalism robot designed to troll websites, post vanity, and ensure all articles make the proper amount of references to Chuck Norris. The debate raged fiercely, with many users falling on either side of the so-called "IP line". One camp decided that the contributions from these entities did more harm than good to the community and its collection of humor. The opposing faction took up the opposite view: that IP editors were harmless and at worst an annoyance. Modusoperandi, the lead counsel for the IP defense team, made several compelling arguments, most notably the case that IPs are adorable and thus harmless. In the end, it was decided that IP editing is something we must live with, mostly because Conservapedia doesn't allow it, and we don't want to be any more like them than we already are. When reached for comment about the situation, Uncyclopedia founder Chronarion responded, "AAAAAAAA!!!!"

Check out these pages! Ledddy calls for more reminiscence The counting goes horribly, horribly wrong THIS JUST IN THIS JUST OUT From our logs: 01:41, 24 June 2009 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 66.109.20.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Dex is all like BAN HIM and I'm like OKAY DEX) 00:18, 21 June 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs | block) blocked Mr. Niceguy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Do you see my penis? Here, I'll pull it out! LOOK AT IT DANGLE, FAGGOT!) 00:17, 21 June 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs | block) resurrected Mr. Niceguy (Talk | contribs) ‎ (wrng "a"gn) 00:16, 21 June 2009 Todd Lyons (Talk | contribs | block) blocked Mr. Niceguy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (NO MORE MR. NICEGUY) Biopic of the Week "How has the UnSignpost never run a biopic on So So?", you might ask. "I mean, his userpage is somewhere between confusing and disturbing, but the guy's a comedic genius! His writings are classic!", you might continue. You might even mention that he was nommed for WotM for about half a year in 2007 before finally winning the thing. Well, you might be interested in reading this week's UnSignpost, and then you might look into shutting up. Old School FA of the Week The Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet'N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice is the longest possible order you could order at Starbucks. It was ordered only once (in the late 1990's), and it singlehandedly destroyed the economy of South America. It is now illegal in both American Continents, Africa, Asia, Europe, and Antarctica. In fact, it's now illegal everywhere save for a select few unclaimed square inches in the Southern Pacific Ocean and Belgium (but nobody gives a crap about Belgium.) The United Nations is working on this problem even as you read this.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

We're not late you're just high!    Orian57    Talk   14:35 30 June 2009

I saw you!

I really did. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:37, 2 July 2009 (UTC)

You did! Hi Socky. How are you? And thanks to everyone who voted for me to win UGotM. :P *Bows* Dam, that was a tricky one... Now, on to then next... MrN 23:41, Jul 2

You won Playwright of the Month because of me, remember that? Those were the lulz. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:44, 2 July 2009 (UTC)

But... Who built the moon? Yea... I still feel a bit guilty about winning that one with only one article... Now winning the gobshite, that was far more tricky... MrN 23:48, Jul 2

How did you pull it off? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:50, 2 July 2009 (UTC)

I'm told it's all in the wrist. MrN 23:52, Jul 2

I heard people missed your golden boobs. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:56, 2 July 2009 (UTC)

Thanks. MrN 23:59, Jul 2

I missed them too. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:01, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

HTBCANF

Seriously, this needs completion. Funny with a capital Fu. Pup

Um? You read that? I'm not sure I even remember where I left it! MrN 00:42, Jul 3

It's really good, although I have to admit that other than one or two articles I haven't found much on Uncyclopedia that was that really that highbrow (with the exception of my work, or course.) Pup

Highbrow? That's a type of dance move right? I was kinda running out of steam on it really... HTBFANJS is a lot to try and parody... Also, congrats on the stalking skills! I thought no one would ever find that! Obviously feel free to edit it if you fancy it... MrN 00:56, Jul 3

On an entirely different note

We don't seem to have a feature queued for today yet. If you would be so kind... Pretty please with sugar on top? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:53, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

Um. You just love it.... MrN 00:56, Jul 3

Well, I love boobies. But that's a given. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:05, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

And now for something completely different

London, 28th, pint. ~ 09:22, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

Hmm. I don't see why not. How long are you in town for? {{User:/small>

ok, here it is, hot off the presses! thanks so much. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:19, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! June 18th/19th!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

June 18th, 2009 • Issue 52 • Thinly sliced news, between two slices of humor, with lettuce and hollandaise sauce

Votes for Sandwiches Officially Opens By Gerrycheevers This week, Votes for Sandwiches was established by Uncyclopedia Internetist and Lead Executive of Sandwiches, Spang. Previously some sort of secret cabal hazing page, lead cabalists have thrown the doors of VFS open to reveal thinly sliced meats on a variety of breads. Or they would have, if the cabal existed, which it doesn't. Official Cabal Spokesman Mordillo exclusively explained the new feature best: "The cabal, as part of its never-ending efforts to assert its all-consuming control over the citizenry, has now introduced voting for sandwiches. Each editor will be required to eat the elected sandwiches for the entire following month. Members of the cabal will closely observe voter's decisions to make sure that no vile sandwiches, such as BAKED BEANS ON TOAST WITH MELTED CHEESE, will be chosen. That's just vile. Editors will not be allowed to protest over the "democratically" "chosen" "sandwich". We're not Iran." Reactions to the new voting page were mixed. Some users were excited for the opportunity to express their fondness towards various lunches, provided that those lunches are a sandwich. "I'm glad that sandwiches, a comedy staple due to their low-priced nature and assembly so simple that even a writer can construct one, are finally getting their due on Uncyclopedia," said resident criminology term Modusoperandi. Others were not so supportive of the move, and point to recent disturbing trends since the introduction of VFS, the most disturbing being the raiding of the fridge in the Uncyclopedia break room and the subsequent theft of all sandwiches. Well, maybe not all sandwiches, but one specifically marked "gerry's. do not eat." So far no group has claimed responsibility for this act of sandwich-related terrorism. I will find you, you little punk! And when I do, you're making me another sandwich! Comebacks! Only $19.95! Call Now! By: Saberwolf116 Following a month and a half hiatus, resident VFD overlord and prince of pants MrN9000 is alleged to have returned to the wiki. According to reliable sources, MrN was spotted responding to his talk page and maintaining QVFD, among various other tasks. What other things he may do remains to be seen. We do know, however, that he has been welcomed warmly by the community, with Mordillo giving him the brand new nickname "fucker" and various users bestowing an award of reliability on him. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! Call Now And Get 2 for the Price Of 1! By: Gerrycheevers Following in MrN's robotically symmetrical footsteps was noted keyboard component SysRq. After many weeks of inactivity, Sys has returned to once again putter the Imperial Colonization ship around Uncyclopedia Harbor. He has described his goals as "re-assimilate as best I can" and "Go to hell, Dex". We would like to welcome both of these users back to the loving Uncyclopedia family, and urge them to GET BACK TO WORK!! Things Brewing In IRC By Sockpuppet of an unregistered user People are yelling at each other, stalking each other, and randomly talking to one another. What I am talking about is, of course, IRC, the highly controversial melting pot of Uncyclopedia, where users of all stands, races, and levels of activity can talk about unimportant issues. It has recently come to our attention that ruthless battles were being fought on the fields of IRC. Our correspondent decided to check things out for himself. He was confronted with gay dinosaurs, Star Wars references and general dickery. Though this one time visit cannot render a clear view of the complex nature of IRC, it might give us a glimpse into the mind of the common IRCer. The dark, mysterious character of IRC remains.

Check out these pages! Release personal details here. Overractions! Slander! Hot Republican Chicks with Guns! Death To Our Enemies, or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love Illogicopedia. From our logs: 14:37, 11 June 2009 Cs1987 (Talk | contribs) blocked Cs1987 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a nice stroll in the park ‎(The only edit I can make on this website right now is blocking myself. Woohoo!) 15:42, 12 June 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for The Wizard Of Oz (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) ‎(Follow the yellow brick road to oblivion! Put on your red shoes and dance! dance! Ackowledge that you're no longer in Kansas, Toto. And yes I am the wicked witch of the west. I have a wart to prove it) 12:11, 16 June 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 94.101.164.1 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎(vandullism - and your cheese looks old and stale anyway. bring me something fresher. and a red onion chutney - let's do this properly) Biopic of the Week Sonje ~ Bursting onto the Uncyclpedia scene in March 2009, this spunky female user already has quite the impressive resume. Her six featured images speak of her monumental potatochopping abilities, and she won consecutive Potatochopper of the Month awards. Yeah, that's right. Consecutive. We look forward to many more expertly manipulated images and other general awesomery from Sonje in the months to come. Old School Featured Article of the Week Continuing in the vaguely sandwich-related theme, Sausage Butty Batter Nuggets are a staple of English cuisine. With a complicated recipe that often leads to dangerous and/or hilarious consequences, this food is nevertheless a highly desirable meal for any self-respecting gentleman or lady in England, and is often served at croquet competitions and monocle-wearing contests. Pictured at right is the extra-crunchy West Country variety. This Week in Uncyc, 3500 BC The Great Pyramids of Giza, one of the greatest technological and engineering feats in human history, was parodied in the monthly Uncyclopedia newsletter Bird, Bird, Crocodile, Man With Dog Face, Bird, which was painstakingly written on papyrus reeds by dozens of slaves. In the periodical, the Pyramids were described as "just okay", and were depicted as a stepping stone to grander projects such as Great Cubes and perhaps even a Great Octagonal Prism. Reason to Leave Uncyclopedia of the Week #12: Space issues. With so many users returning, and Cajek refusing to grant access to the Cajek Mansion (which takes up over 60% of all Uncyclopedia's property), there just isn't enough room for us all.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

You'd think I'd learn that this isn't fun to do... Oh well. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:47, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Aligning the text to the right hand side of the page...

Seems to be a mother of a thing to do. I've tried MrN9000/sig}} 09:23, Jul 3

Just that one night. ~ 09:30, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

That's cool. I think I can be there, though I don't have accommodation in London these days... I'm sure it's possible to sort something out. I wonder who else is around... MrN 09:34, Jul 3

I asked the Rabbi and UU already, I think they're both busy. We can ask our wikia lord, Mhaille ,Codeine and possibly that Hungarian pervert Oli. ~ 09:42, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

Jens Bæsjer i Vaskemaskinen

I posted an link to the song on Youtube because I don't know how to post Media files on UnTunes Saccio102 17:59, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

Hea there. We do have the youtube extension. It works like this: <center><br><youtube width="425" height="355">=TWwBdY1Yglg</youtube></center>. Audio files (can also be used. Look at some other articles to see examples of how they do it. The thing is, what you do needs to be (mostly) new stuff and you need enough to fill a whole article if you are wanting to start a new one... Enjoy. MrN 18:06, Jul 3

UnSignpost: July 2nd, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Contains Neither News Nor Paper.

July 2nd, 2009 • Issue 54 • The newspaper with the name that's an anagram of "stop using n"

The Young and The Uncyclopedians Cancelled By Gerrycheevers After enjoying a long-running career and several writer changes, Uncyclopedia's fabled soap opera The Young and the Uncyclopedians was cancelled this week. And by "cancelled" we mean totally owned by Thekillerfroggy. It seems TKF finally had enough, and spent nearly an hour systematically deleting the entire series, which previously contained over 60% of all content in the UnScripts namespace. The newly freed electrons, no longer required for TYATU, can now be used for other Uncyclopedia-related tasks, such as boron smelting, and they may even be used to form a sort of crude bot that can edit The count to a million project automatically. Not content with merely obliterating the entire series, Thekillerfroggy apparently became bored halfway through his holy crusade, and decided to get creative in the deletion summaries. As can be seen in a memorial erected by what is presumed to be a jilted fan of the show, TKF nostalgized and ranted, remembered and forgot, loved and lost, all while expressing his inner thoughts through the medium of deletion summaries. An example can be seen at the very end of his effort, where Thekillerfroggy writes: "Sigh./Well here's the home stretch/It's been real/We've had some good times/some bad times/But in the end/All we are is dust in the wind/So goodnight, sweet prince/Farewell TYATU/Fin." Reactions on the wiki were, as usual, mixed. Some users held a candlelight vigil in userspace, where some of the episodes have been resurrected in a zombie-like form. Entertainment editor DogNewspaper (pictured) wagged his tail, perhaps expressing hope that one day a new soap opera, sitcom, or crime investigation show featuring Uncyclopedia editors would once again grace this site. We can only dream... Main Page Suffers Spasms of Dickery By Gerrycheevers If you logged onto the Main Page sometime on July 2nd between 2:00 and 3:00 GMT (and if you can't figure out what time that is where you live, then don't expect us to provide it for you, we're not a bloody watch!), you may have noticed some subtle changes. Instead of the usual Wikipedia-like format, with carefully organized features, news stories, anniversaries, and vital information, you may or may not have found...something else. You may or may not have found an intruiging offer to reffer freinds to take some sort of mp3-player related actions. You may or may not have found some sort of story with a vague theme of respecting one's elders, and everything about those elders, and we do mean everything. You may or may not have found some sort of strange mix of the two that left you with conflicting feelings. These feelings may or may not have included, but not been limited to: fear, anger, jealousy, confusion, fear again, and a vague sensation of falling. The admins responsible for this will not be named here, due to their next probable course of action in the case in which we did mention them, which would most likely be something along the lines of turning every UnSignpost issue into a Euroipod, whatever that is. The only thing we can report on is that the shenanigans ended just over an hour after they began, with the Main Page being restored to its previous false information-rich state. However, this episode shows us that it will never be safe from the hijinks of that group of admins, who, again, will not be named.

Check out these pages! HowTo: Get Banned for a Day Serious, on-topic discussion More voting for things! From our logs: 12:34, 26 June 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Gotlegginh (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(please enjoy our complimentary fuck the hell off) 21:18, 26 June 2009 Todd Lyons (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 8 seconds ‎(Non-kosher edits to Woody's meatpage) 08:35, 29 June 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.78.127.159 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(I is an 8 year old from the UK with super admin powerz, fuck you) 11:49, 1 July 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 222.153.106.69 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(I think you'll find it is you who fail. and not even epically either - just with a bit of a whimper.) Biopic of the Week Lovable Wikia dictator Sannse has settled in rather well in the Uncyclopedia Community. She is a double Hall of Shame member, and she recently took home the coveted Uncyclopedian of the Month award for her work in making things behind the scenes to run smoothly, which we take it means that she is very good at regulating the caffeine intake of the hamsters that run on the wheels that power Uncyclopedia. Her typical reaction to watermelon jokes is summed up on the right. Old-School Featured Article of the Week HowTo:Cheat At Scrabble is an informative guide to consistently winning via questionable means that most enjoyable of letter-arranging games, Scrabble. Fake dictionaries, fake online dictionaries, fake tiles, and octopi are just a few of the diverse methods one can utilize in order to gain a distinctly unfair advantage while playing the game. This Week in Uncyc, 1776 While the American colonies and the British Empire were not quite getting along, the corresponding members of Uncyclopedia were also having a bit of a flamewar. Prominent British users subtly edited the article on America to include a fictional fourteenth colony called West Wankerton, and American admins reacted by banning the drinking of any tea-related beverages in the Uncyclopedia break room. In the end, both sides agreed to a truce due to the massively impressive fireworks show, which was a Fourth of July tradition. The truce basically entailed both entities cooperation in the vandalism of the article on France.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 19:28, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

You can use telnet to connect to IRC.

Yes, you can use telnet to connect to IRC. And I do use netcat (which is a program very similar to telnet, but can run in line-mode) to connect to IRC. Any proper IRC client I have tried is no good to me so I use netcat (which isn't a IRC client at all) instead. --zzo38 19:50, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

Or you could use a browser. Or shout really loud. Also, come and help with some of my latest works.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I counted 8,999

01001101 01110010 01001110 00100011 00101000 Changed my mind - all is good!Pup 11:25, 5 July 2009 (UTC)

Hey dude

Not being gay or anything but are you a gay? --Admin si 08:57, 5 July 2009 (UTC)

Have you looked at his sig?    Orian57    Talk   10:29 5 July 2009

If by Gay you mean "happy" then "No". The tits are a reference to Blackadder. ;) MrN 17:38, Jul 5

If by "no" you mean "anus" then yes... Yay! Uncyc memes!    Orian57    Talk   20:15 5 July 2009

DADDY!

I've missed you! *hugtackles* -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 17:52, 5 Jul

...Twice. Saberwolf116 18:58, 5 July 2009 (UTC)

Stop going away and at least drop your kids a "hi" once a week. :/ -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 19:25, 5 Jul

Hey! Well... I'm claiming it was all to make sure of my win on UGotM... :P MrN 19:41, Jul 5

That's not worth an effort, and it's not even worth whoring for :/ -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 20:04, 5 Jul

Really? Shows what you know young lady. :P Take a look at some of those names on that list... :P MrN 20:09, Jul 5

I can't know everything, can I? -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 20:21, 5 Jul

Where would I find a copy of the ban policy

Hey mate... ummm... the header says it all really... Pup

UN:BAN ;) My experience of Uncyc has been that admins tend to use their judgement and that what is in this "policy" is more of a guideline really but there it is... MrN 00:27, Jul 6

There's nothing on there in regards to playing nice in the PEEING pool. Which means the reference I threw at you before is a bogus one, even if annoying. No matter. Pup

Oh, in a clumsy way that was intended to be an apology... Pup

An apology? For what? um? Anyway... I'm not sure it needs anything about PEEING in there really. Not if we can help it anyway, less rules is always better and such. We normally deal with PEEING stuff on a individual basis anyway. Well I say "we" but I do obviously mean "Under user"... MrN 00:41, Jul 6

If you don't know what I'm apologising for then I'm not going to tell you Pup 01:08, 6 July 2009 (UTC) Actually I said that last to my wife once. The stitches come out in another week.

Dammit! MrN 01:12, Jul 6

Excuse me, my good sir,

but it appears that you have stolen my userpage. Mr9000  15:18, 6 July 2009 (UTC)

I have no idea what you are talking about. MrN 17:18, Jul 6

Maybe its too US-Centric? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Who is this imposter? 9001(bot)  23:42, Jul 6

Who knows? MrN 23:44, Jul 6

Daddy? O_o Which one of you is my daddy?! O_o *Panics* -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 07:05, 7 Jul

Who's your daddy? Sorry, but someone had to say the obvious Pup 07:14, 7 July 2009 (UTC)

My daddy's currently off the coast on his yacht... Daddy with a big D again is my adoptive un-parent. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 07:35, 7 Jul

I am your father. It's true. You can trust me. I have all of the qualifications to be your father. I'm a MR. I definitely have the number 9000 in my name. Even the letter N. Also, I got this awesome flag/robot/boobs combo thing going on in my sig there. Pretty catchy, eh? PLUS, would your real father steal someone else's userpage? I don't think so. Mr9000  16:30, 7 July 2009 (UTC)

But who am I then? SockUU 

I suspect that the US flag doesn't go with my Daddy that well... So I won't be sitting in your lap wearing a skimpy school uniform, as much as you might want me to... -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 19:01, 7 Jul

Could you at least sit in MY skimpy school uniform, and have me sit on your lap? I think that would be fair. Also, and I'm not trying to throw mud here, but I heard that fake father of yours has been sleeping with an American Flag Comforter lately. Also, he's thinking of defecting. Also, I heard he was with Barack Obama in San Francisco not too long ago. Mr9000  19:09, 7 July 2009 (UTC)

No, you can't sit in my lap. It's taken by a nice and cuddly kittycat. And you're the fake father. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 19:38, 7 Jul

Damn. Well, you can't fault me for trying, can you? Perhaps I can have a cookie? Or a satisfactory pat on the back? Or a piece of lint? I'll take just about anything at the moment. Mr9000  19:59, 7 July 2009 (UTC)

How 'bout a kick in the nads every hour or so until I get my Daddy back? -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 22:25, 7 Jul

My dear. I was under the impression you normally charged for such services? MrN 22:30, Jul 7

I distribute kicks for free, Daddy. The other kind of services again... Depends on my mood and who I'm servicing. Sometimes it's better if they owe me favours. I've got a couple of mercs I know who owe me a bit for babysitting their kids. They're handy to have around if I need to have someone roughed up for not playing nicely. Right? ;) -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 23:07, 7 Jul

Hmmm.... I have the keys to the liquor cabinet here, my most radiant lady. If you ever feel the need to bestow any favours.... Pup 00:35, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Hmmm... You're still naive enough to think I can't lockpic a liquor cabinet? Tsk, tsk... :P -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 07:32, 8 Jul

Hmmm... okay I'm upping the Ante... I know how to make the best Old Fashioned (Inner Circle black dot rum), Mohito (Inner circle black dot rum), and Rum and Coke (coca cola). Pup 10:13, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

I drink something else preferably. Or a good chardonnay... :) -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 16:03, 9 Jul

Reply to Baleet you?!

But... why? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 23:58 Jun 22, 2009

• Ehh... I actually changed my mind recently. I wanted the account deleted initially because I overuse this username and became unreasonably paranoid. I also thought my sense of humour was noobish when I used to post here regularly and I thought that I wouldn't use this site any more. And, if I was going to, I thought 'well, I can always make another username'. But then I realized that was being a pansyand just realized that I still want to use need this site('s sandbox page) as an outlet. Or.. something like that any way.. I don't really know why, but basically, I cared for a little while about some abstract thing and then I stopped caring. Repku 08:34, 7 July 2009 (UTC)

Um? Don't included another users sig. Also... Um? MrN 16:13, Jul 7

ban patrol

no worries on the peppy hare thing. i was miffed at having to go through the guy's contributions and remove a bunch of quotes, but he does indeed seem to have settled down. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 12:50, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

ah, sorry old chap. i could have sworn i saw someone do the same a while back, otherwise i wouldn't have dared. anyway, whoever it was probably got blocked and i didn't notice. thanks for the leniency and whatnot, it won't happen again. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:19, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Are you suggesting that we have consistent standards here at Uncyc? Sir you clearly need to check your records. Thing is... I don't mind people doing whatever the heck they want on Uncyc (if I know that it's all in good fun and such)... Trouble is... If we allow that then... Who decides who is allowed to post joke vandalism and who is not? Every new user would want to do it, the admin then has to check the contributions... Not all the admins "know" the regulars anyway, so... You get the idea. It's going to make us look like dicks either way probably... Well, we are dicks obviously anyway. However. OK, I'm rambling now. I hope you understand where I'm at... :) MrN 18:28, Jul 8

Uncyclopedia:FFS just ain't as much fun though I know. ;) Is that Uncyc Survivor thing not still going on? MrN 18:33, Jul 8

right right. i think i saw led ban about ten people for survivor-related reasons today, so i take it he's gone and taken the metaphorical helicopter off of the island and won. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:42, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

I think that there are three people left today. Then it's over. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 18:48, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

You've got mail!

Apparently a freshly banned user send you an email and asked for a pardon. Now he's asking me for a pardon. Pardon me? Or pardon him? Pardon the Jews for killing Jesus? Just pardon someone for god's sakes! ~ 15:46, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Ah, Mr Mordillo! Are you talking about Hobbitfeet? I received two emails:

“ MrN9000, you are an unmitigated tosser. I note that YOU are responsible for blocking my daughter and me - for "using the same IP address". And you have also used the same excuse for blocking other people, too. Dunno if you've noticed, but people often do have the same IP address. The real reason, of course, is that you wanted your spectacularly unfunny contribution of 'whoops! were you looking for 'Uncameron' enforced over the previous addition of "whoops! were you looking for cunt?" which was actually FUNNY 9and therefore, my daughter changed it back.)

NrN9000, you are the sort of obnoxious little gimp who wrecks things like this.

”

and...

“ I know you are a pitiful donut munching inadequate whose only life and power involves policing this website, but you really should wash your hands and take 2 minutes off wanking to read this.

However much you worship, adore, and wish to fellate David Cameron, you must understand that your feelings will remain unreciprocated. He is far too busy fucking penguins - and anyway, with a clear image of you in my mind, I daresay even a penguin-fucking Tory has certain standards!

”

To be honest I'm struggling to find the motivation to investigate further into any of the above. Hobbitfeet is not even banned and has never been. I have no idea what this dude is smoking, and to be honest until such time as he stops being a... What's the term... "Cunt"? I just don't care. Btw I don't give a monkeys either way about David Cameron. I just reverted some edits on an article which were clearly written by a childish mind. MrN 16:26, Jul 8

you have donuts!!?? and you're not sharing!!!??? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:16, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

He must share the same IP as the guy you DID ban, Pigtits, or whatever. They emailed me too... Anyway, upon further investigation, they've both got a little to learn in the ways of humor (and respect). -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 17:19, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Who would have ever thought that hobbit feet and pig tits could live in harmony? It's such an inspirational turn, especially after the most recent decry of porcine standards by the hobbit community. I almost shed a tear. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 17:28, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Ah, you can imagine that the mail I got looks a bit different. Feel free to ignore this whole post. ~ 18:43, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Pooper.

PPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

YOUR MOM.

Nevermind, GERRY'S BACK! YAY!

Rape

I saw that. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 19:29, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

I need to get better curtains. MrN 19:32, Jul 8

How does this thing work again? Do I give you a list of demands, or wait for you to start panicking about being reported? Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 19:36, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

As you may know I only rape goats. I intent to eat this one for my dinner. Having washed it thoroughly first. Obviously. MrN 19:40, Jul 8

So this is already public knowledge, then? I can't even extort a backrub? Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 19:44, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Possibly from the goat, but his hooves are a little worn down now... MrN 19:50, Jul 8

Man, this whole surveillance thing sucks. I need to find somebody else to spy on. You know if UU has any juicy secrets? Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 19:55, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Well... He's a man who hardly drinks... But... Has a rather nice whiskey collection apparently... MrN 20:02, Jul 8

Interesting... so you're saying he wouldn't notice if some went missing? Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 20:05, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

I'm sure he has it under lock and key, but nothing a resourceful chap like yourself could not overcome. MrN 20:07, Jul 8

Thank you for the information, it appears I have some illegal activities to indulge in. Just stay away from my herd next time, OK? Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 20:12, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Fair enough. MrN 20:15, Jul 8

I'm not worthy!

Thanks for that piece of basic knowledge on the TOC thing with the Michelle Obama thing with the chick in the place with the guy.

Rizzock on. --Wurstnachtmare 20:17, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Cool! MrN 20:20, Jul 8

Robthebig

On a completely unrelated note, Robthebig just popped into IRC.

<Robthebig_>	I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the way I acted and before you banned me I was literally about to apologize

Could you unban him for a bit so he can have his say? Pretty please? Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 20:22, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Hmm. You been to his talk page lately? We are getting bored of him. That's the problem. He needs to read some more about how we do things here before he's ready to edit again for a while. When he has read HTBFANJS and BGBU and stopped being a dick maybe he can come back. MrN 20:28, Jul 8

Well, er, I may have thought you already left, and Led may have just come on IRC, so he may be unbanned already. Then again, I could be making this whole thing up. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 20:32, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Yeah dude, wtf

My recent articles Fort Sumter, and more specifically, Jefferson Davis, were deleted and I want to know why. I was in the middle of tying all the articles I've been editing/making about the American Civil War together. Fort Sumter I can live without, but Jefferson Davis is a relatively well-known historical figure, and he deserves to be lampooned just as much as any other guy. I thought I had written the article in a semi-intelligent and funny way instead of just doing, "Jeff Davis is the leader of poop on mars!!!111one!!1" as yall seem to try and get people to do. If you'd rather I make an article similar to the quoted statement above, I would be happy to oblige. Otherwise, I'm going to remake the article and expand it, like I had intended to do all along.

good day sir

Skinfan13 04:59, 9 July 2009 (UTC)

Hi. I deleted Jefferson Davices as it was only 1 line long. Surely you agree that's fair. it was:

“ Jefferson Davis is best known for being the first president of the Confederate States of America. ”

Hardly what we are looking for! The other was

“ Fort Sumter was a fortification in Charleston, South Carolina that served as an Army retreat and housing unit for gay former soldiers during the 1800's. The station was closed down by President Obama by executive order in order to satisfy constituent who considered the place a "house of torture." It was the site of a famous altercation in 1861 that held mild significance for the future of the United States. ”

Both were far too short to be kept. This is not Wikipedia and we require stubs to have a good amount of content before we keep em. (for various reasons) Fell free to recreate either of these, but obviously this time a lot more content will be required. Oh... Regarding "Poop on Mars!!!" For sure. We favour intelligent humour rather than juvenile drivel. However everything has it's place here. If you have not read BGBU and HTBFANJS I recommend ya do. MrN 12:05, Jul 9

“ You seem to be a fan of quotes lately. That's a sign of becoming a serious adult admin. Finally ”

~ 12:25, 9 July 2009 (UTC)

“ That's a bad thing surely... ”

MrN  12:37, Jul 9

UnSignpost 9th July 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

July 9th, 2009 • Issue 55• Help! I'm trapped in a newspaper printer!

Survivor returns to Uncyclopedia after almost two years By THEDUDEMAN, with additional reporting by An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays In late 2007, a man by the name of Leoispotter had the idea to bring his favorite reality show to Uncyclopedia. Thus, the first season of UnSurvivor was created. After five thrilling rounds of voting, Mr. Briggs Inc. managed to win against the other finalist, Thekillerfroggy, by a mere two votes. Flash forward almost two years. Kingkitty, a competitor in the first UnSurvivor, decides it's time for another go-around, and season 2 is born. In an exclusive interview with Mr. Kitty, he had this to say: "Well, I was bored ("and crazy", says one passing by civilian) and I thought: 'perhaps the community could do something fun, and stop with all this writing bullshit.'" When later asked what he thought about this current season, he said, "It's showing to be bigger and better than last season, with more betrayals, more violence, more whining, and more betrayals. Lots of betrayals. Mostly of me." Currently, UnSurvivor Season 2 is in its final round of voting, where the voted-off members of the game get to vote on the finalist they want to win. The finalists this season are: after last seasons defeat, Thekillerfroggy, and newcomers to the show, THEDUDEMAN and An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays. Voting is set to take place over 72 hours instead of the usual 24, and the winner will be announced sometime Friday July 10th. After this, according to Mr. Kitty, there "probably" will be a season 3, and it will be bigger and better than anything ever before. Uncyclopedians pay crass tasteless tribute to Michael Jackson By An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Michael Jackson, the legendary King of Pop, touched many lives, and the news of his untimely demise has left a deep void in the lives of his millions of fans and victims. Fans all over Uncyclopedia, stricken by grief, flocked by the dozens to mourn their departed hero in the only way they knew how: through the medium of humour. They ranged from perfunctory to crude to mediocre, but each expressed a deeply profound sadness that the weird plastic rapist was no more. (Yeah, "weird plastic rapist". That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it? Ha ha ha.) Tributes continue to pour in despite the fact that it is no longer funny or clever. With the stage set for a long, protracted battle over his kids and estate, Uncyclopedia expects that unfunny people will continue to get mileage out of this story for many weeks to come. Uncyclopedia admins plan to send a selection of the best "tributes" to the Jackson family, along with the number of a company that recycles plastics. (That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it? Ha ha ha.) Editors emerge from woodwork, contribute to UnSignpost By Gerrycheevers This week, when UnSignpost Active Editor Gerrycheevers brought up the Uncyclopedia page containing the currently in-progress UnSignpost, he suffered a minor heart attack upon finding that two stories had already been added to the paper. It seems both An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays and THEDUDEMAN, both newly given the title "Consulting Editor", took exception to being named "Consulting Editor" and took it upon themselves to blanket the UnSignpost with awesomeness. Unsignpost Payroll Manager DogNewspaper (pictured) bared his teeth at this development, indicating his frustration at having to re-issue new timecards to both editors. Gerrycheevers is expected to make a full recovery; flowers can be sent to the Uncyclopedia Infirmary and Shooting Range.

Check out these pages! The second round of the Uncyclopedia Music Awards! 4.252.99.182 HAS BEEN FOUND! Uncyclopedians trying to workout From our logs: 23:02, 7 July 2009 Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) blocked Spang (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 500 days ‎(testing, I haven't done this in a while) 09:26, 7 July 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.178.213.53 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week (anonymous users only, account creation disabled) ‎(In fact, here is our complimentary "welcome to uncyclopedia & fuck off" package. Have a nice day.) 00:36, 6 July 2009 Cs1987 (Talk | contribs) blocked The Woodburninator (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 191 seconds ‎(You ain't no ban magnet. But I can help you become one. By banning you, that is.) Biopic of the Week Now missing for over 18 months, it's time to send the search party out for ENeGMA. If the userbox on his user page is accurate, then his 250,000+ edits mean that he has created virtually all of the content on Uncyclopedia. While that isn't quite true, he has produced some classically awesome articles, and we wish he'd come back and play. Quote of the Week <TheLedBalloon> well, my parents were like, son, we're going to make meatloaf tonight <TheLedBalloon> and I was like <TheLedBalloon> shit yeah <TheLedBalloon> you know <TheLedBalloon> I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR LOAF <Shaggy-Rogers> EVEN BLOW YOUR LOAD ON YOUR MOM'S FACE =-= Mode #uncyclopedia +o TheLedBalloon by ChanServ =-= Shaggy-Rogers was booted from #uncyclopedia by TheLedBalloon (2 dads) =-= Mode #uncyclopedia -o TheLedBalloon by TheLedBalloon Old-School Featured Article of the Week A Handgun is a non-lethal weapon that has been in use for over 150 years. As adaptable as it is safe, the Handgun can fire many different kinds of bullets, which each require different distinct noises such as "pchoo!". Advantages include an infinite amount of ammunition and the lack of a necessity to reload. Attempts at Handgun regulation have proven pointless at best. This Week in Uncyc, 658 AD With the Dark Ages in full swing, Uncyclopedia tried to lighten the mood with a contest that urged users to photoshop a humorous image involving a priest, a monk, and a nun. Since the most advanced photoshop technology at the time still consisted of using paint to draw on canvas, not a single entry was completed by the two-week deadline. However, prominent Uncyclopedian John Smith continued his work far past the deadline, and after eight months submitted an image of a waterskiing nun, which became Uncyclopedia's first featured image.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  22:33, Jul 9

I miss you Daddy

I don't think I've seen you in irc since... since... O_o I don't remember, it's been so long! :( -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 21:48, 13 Jul

request

Hey er, MrN9000 i made a page called werelemur and i spent ages on it and you deleted it, please can i have it back? thanks -steve- – Preceding unsigned comment added by 82.25.198.51 (talk • contribs)

you might be able to convince MrN to do that, were you to sign up for an account. it's easy, it's free, and it makes you cool! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:21, 15 July 2009 (UTC)

"...and it makes you cool!" ~ Gerrycheevers

LIAR! Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 16:24, 15 July 2009 (UTC)

If nothing else, it makes you an individual and not an IP number. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 16:56, 15 Jul

No problem. I'm guessing you are Stevieb14... I have restored your page for ya. You now have 30 days more time to work on it. Good luck. MrN 17:26, Jul 15

Sorry for the mix-up, and your username is familiar for some reason...--Bad Shroom 20:45, 15 July 2009 (UTC)

double entendredirect

Hi boss. I just realised that I made two of these the other day - the first as I mistyped the name of the article I was moving to, psyche instead of psyché, but was intending to create a redirect here from the misspelling anyway as they are both technically correct, however pronounced differently.

The second was Pox which was created to clean up an entry in the wanted pages (due to the huffing of the original article) which has since been redone as Destroy All Humans. Given the multitude of definitions I've redone this as a disambiguationalisation page instead. There may be a few more I've missed as I was working quickly, but I'd guess we have a few other article that relate to the offshoots from the wikipedia version of the same page.

Due to spousal pressure I'm limited in the time I can tidy this page up today, but if you want to expand it then go ahead, otherwise I'll pick it up tomorrow. Thanks for picking up my mistakes anyway, and if you do find anything else stupid I've done let me know as I'm still learning all this as I go along. Pup 01:43, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

On that topic, if I was to create a page for This page does not exist would I be destroying a wiki in-joke? And if so, would it make a difference? Pup 01:45, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

Tis all good, and yes... Creating that page will, I believe destroy the whole wiki. That's why we don't let ya. :P MrN 01:56, Jul 16

Tono

Tono tono to tono tono tono. Tono tono tono to to tono. Tono?

Tono tono tono, tono. TONO? TONOOOOOO???  :(

Tono tono, Tono

Kilna 07:34, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Sorry but it was lost on me. What is that some video somewhere? Do a retrospective of it maybe? Like A wizard did it and A wizard did it: A Retrospective. That however was too much Tono, and far too much WTF unfortunately. MrN 08:06, Aug 12

Art of Nostalgia for babies

Why did you delete it huh? Imo its a great article

Hea, I thought it could be really good also. The author requested it to be deleted. MrN 13:24, Aug 7

press

hi MrN. might you have a comment concerning the fact that VFD seems to recently have hit a crapflood of articles, with the magical number of 20 nominations being sustained for quite some time now? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:32, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

Well you know I fancy the standards at VFD have improved significantly in recent times. Not so long ago it would often just be a quick "Short and Shit" vote from UU, and the latest stub was on for a huffing. These days we are spending more time voting on closer votes and are deleting much better articles than we used to! Something VFD is really proud of. Um... As a final note... CHECK THE PAGE HISTORY BEFORE NOMINATING YOU BUGGERS MrN 18:44, Jul 16

UnSignpost: July 16nd, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With No Ambitions, Goals, Hopes or Dreams!

July 16th, 2009 • Issue 56 • This is a Pathetic Joke

User Return Causes Widespread Panic By Gerrycheevers This week noted user An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays returned to the wiki, and immediately rendered that return "triumphant". However, other users are beginning to feel the effects of the presence of this primate whose quantum mechanical properties dictate that he be only during certain periods of the week. This incident left onlookers shocked, and worrying if something similar could happen to them. Not since the return of a scantily-clad Olipro has this website seen such a display of sheer terror mixed with complete confusion (and in the case of Olipro, a bit of curious arousal mixed in). The aforementioned incident involved one user who had AATOEOT embedded in his dreams. Most curiously, this episode seems to have happened on a Friday night, a time period when an An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays should decidedly not exist. Nearly a week has passed without further disruptions, although that may be partially due to Ape's ban after being kicked off of the Uncyclopedia island during a rousing game of Uncyclopedia Survivor. Regardless of the reasons behind the strange occurrences, users should be sure to keep an eye out for strange occurrences on and off the wiki...particularly on Thursdays. Flood of Crap Nearly Overflows VFD By Gerrycheevers For the last few days, an explosion of nominations has inundated Uncyclopedia's waste removal system, Votes for Deletion. After a period of low activity, where there would typically be just a few to several nominations, things picked up last week. In the last few days, the situation has accelerated into what is being called by experts a "shit-ton" of undesirable content festering in the dark, unvisited corners of the wiki. Said undesirable content is currently being read, discussed, and dealt with accordingly, as is the usual procedure at the highly efficient VFD. Circumstances have escalated to the point of rattling a few relaxed admins. One such incident involved a user getting the customary one-day ban for increasing the active nomination count past twenty, when the user in question had, in fact, only increased the number of active noms to twenty. Owing to the normal tendency of the article count of VFD to stay in the low single digits lately, the lapse is certainly forgiveable, and was quickly corrected. Afterwards the two parties exchanged pleasantries and shared a S'Mores which was roasted over the open bonfire of newly deleted articles. Former poopsmith MrN9000 commented on the situation, saying, "Well you know I fancy the standards at VFD have improved significantly in recent times. Not so long ago it would often just be a quick "Short and Shit" vote from UU, and the latest stub was on for a huffing. These days we are spending more time voting on closer votes and are deleting much better articles than we used to! Something VFD is really proud of." In a final display of VFD patriotism, MrN added, "CHECK THE PAGE HISTORY BEFORE NOMINATING YOU BUGGERS!" Orian57 On Fire By Gerrycheevers Noted rainbow-colored user Orian57 has recently enjoyed a remarkable string of success (pictured on right). He has scored an unprecedented natural hat trick of features, with UnBooks:Daddy, There's a Zombie in the Garden, LazyTown, and UnScripts:Trapped at Sea reaching the front page on consecutive days. Not since the time of such legends as Savethemooses and The Thinker have such lofty VFH records been broken. Although in the case of STM, there were probably mitigating factors involved, like wooden articles rather than aluminum, or something. Or aluminium, that strange substance only found in England by mining thousands of millions of other strange occurences, such as referring to the trunk of a car as a "boot". This god-like spasm of awesomeness is fresh on the heels of Orian's Writer of the Month win in June of this year. Since the beginning of that month, he has seen six of his works grace the front page, and he shows no signs of slowing down. When reached for comment, he explained, "Well I suppose it's down to being fantastic. And unemployed. But mostly being fantastic." The UnSignpost would like to congratulate Orian on his recent spat of win, and express hopes he will continue the pattern well into the future.

Check out these pages! Some guy is trying to update Images... Hey look, a new game to play! Or is this business? UnBusiness!? Proof that Wikia hates us! From our logs: 09:27, 9 July 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a bouncer from Flintoff ‎(pre-emptive ban before you ban me for pickiness. your English > my Hebrew etc etc...) 20:38, 14 July 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Luvvy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎(Impersonating a girl. Perv.) 14:03, 16 July 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 124.186.81.136 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎(you know Euthanasia might just be the thing you are looking for....) Biopic of the Week Known as the man of many signatures (most of them garish and spinning in some fashion), Mahm00shA has made quite the impression on Uncyclopedia since joining in February. His transcription of an interview with a cab driver in his native Egypt has earned him recognition as a writer, and his other useful qualities have earned him an Uncyclopedian of the Month nomination. Go 'moosh! Quote of the week [16:41] <Tayor> we're going to need a base to work from. [16:43] <Tayor> by 'we' I meann 'I' [16:43] <Tayor> and by 'are' I mean 'am' [16:43] <Tayor> and by 'work' I mean 'give blow jobs' In honour of The Ashes, it's: UU's classic cricket commentary of the week! "There's Tony Greig standing at second slip — legs wide apart, bending over, waiting for a tickle" - Brian Johnston. Of course, this simple piece of commentary should require no clarification, but any Americans, other foreigners, or chavs who don't understand the finer points of cricket can pop over to UU's talk page for a patronising explanation. Old-School Featured Article of the Week Martin Van Buren was the eighth President of the United States, a key figure in U.S. political development during the nineteenth century, and a total dick. While other legislators were busy dueling or being awesome in general, Van Buren spent his time practicing his douchebag skills and smelling of old people. He always argues about the stupidest things, and he refuses to ever admit he's wrong. And I'm never letting him borrow my car again. Panicky Last-Minute Box of the Week The UnSignpost editors regret to announce the introduction of a new device, the "Panicky Last-Minute Box of the Week". This box will be used to take up space on the right-hand side of the UnSignpost, an example of which you are currently experiencing. Look for this box to appear when a larger than usual number of stories on the left side of the UnSignpost and an impending end of the work day force the editors to make something up on the fly. This also offers opportunities to sneak trusted mascot DogNewspaper into the issue.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 22:22, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

Continue my work!!

Sorry i am such a lazy,i would like to continue to edit and update Yggdra Union: We'll Fight Alone article plz. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Woad85 (talk • contribs)

Sure. I really recommend ya loose most of the FUCKING swearing for a start. I'm not CUNTING sure the WANKER is working here... If you catch my drift sir? MrN 06:53, Jul 18

I fixed a typo for you daddy. Now, why haven't I seen you in irc as of late? I miss yabbering with ya. :( -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 21:24, 18 Jul

Drive by...

MrN9000 is a tit...--Sycamore (Talk) 20:31, 19 July 2009 (UTC)

A pair of actually. Hea dude. Hope you are well. :-) MrN 20:32, Jul 19

Yes, I've been neglectful of Uncyc, to make up for it I bring some crazy English stuff called Pimms and a pirate DVD of Hornblower for your 'enjoyment':)--Sycamore (Talk) 20:36, 19 July 2009 (UTC)

Well thank you very much sir. I will add them to my um, collection... MrN 20:47, Jul 19

Hey

Hey, you kind of deleted my entire page so can you forward me a copy at Nemesisveil@yahoo.com

Fearlessleader101

I have put a copy of your article in your userspace here: User:Fearlessleader101/Spokane, Washington. You can now work on if for as long as you wish. Let me know when you want to move it back into the mainspace, and I will take a look for you. Enjoy. MrN 17:44, Jul 22

Rape

I saw you archive, now you're a prison bitch! MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 17:51, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

That was pathetic. Also, that was hardly an archive. And... I bet you could not even manage to rape yourself given the correct opportunity. MrN 17:54, Jul 22

Laura and Amanda Palmer

So, I go and eat my dinner, come back and I find you've put a "This article isn't big enough to satisfy me" template thingy on my Amanda Palmer article and another one on my Laura Palmer article, to which I can only say, well, there's only so much you can say about a fictional character in Twin Peaks like Amanda." Maybe if the little article must go, then it should redirect to Laura Palmer instead of just vanishing. But that would be less fun. How much more crap in the Amanda one would it take to save it? 82.152.205.218 19:49, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

Actually a bit of a fan of the series, hence my response on here. (Sorry if I'm stealing any of your stuff N-ster.) But as to what can be written about her, try the wikipedia article, or the secret diary of... as a reference source to start with. Watch the series and the movie (in that order.) If it's too hard let me know and I'll happily take it off your hands. Pup t 01:02, 23/07/2009

fastest pants in the west

so you blocked flutter in the same minute that i posted his shenanigans on ban patrol. were you already in the process of dealing with it, or are you just that fast? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:16, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

I was hitting the ban button as soon as I saw your post on QVFD. ;) Now, on to extend that ban to 1 week... MrN 16:17, Jul 23

Man, and there I was, trying to talk to him about the picture on his talk page. Apparently I was out of the loop on this whole thing. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 16:19, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

It's almost like this user is trying to generate some drama based attention or something. Rather dull actually. I'm off to get some dinner chaps. Enjoy. MrN 16:22, Jul 23

Gave him the 1 month cyberbullying bonus . Oh, and MrN, if you feel it's too much feel free to shorten it, but I personally absolutely hate bullies. ~ 16:23, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

It's all good. Yea, I ban them a lot harder than normal vandals myself also... MrN 16:26, Jul 23

And now you can ban me as well for overbanning you. ~ 16:28, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

by the by, the bugger still has the poor girl's name in his sig. should it be removed? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:31, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

Actually, I noticed that too. And yet, for reasons I can't quite figure out myself, I did nothing to stop it. I have a lot to learn from Mr. Cheevers. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 16:34, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

I just removed it. What a wally this user is. If you know of anything else similar to this then obviously remove em also... Cheers. MrN 16:59, Jul 23

UnSignpost: July 23rd, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!

July 23rd, 2009 • Issue 57 • The Newspaper That Won't Tell Everyone That You Wet the Bed! Oops...

Uncyclopedia Users Form Fantasy Football League By Gerrycheevers This week, several Uncyclopedians banded together under the leadership of one Guildensternenstein to form some sort of "Fantasy Football" organization. What exactly this entails is unclear, but it appears that the football- and soccer-related fantasies of the participating members will be carried out in the semi-private confines of the forums. Reactions were mixed to this development, with some users expressing emotions ranging from apathy to indifference. Others voiced concern about children, decency, and lewd public conduct. "My little boy came home today saying something about going to another boy's house to perform football fantasies!" said one outraged and confused mother. Regardless of the small amount of negative feedback, participants are eager to begin fantasizing about their favorite football players, such as David Beckham. Bradaphraser had this to say: "The Fantasy Football League is a chance for Uncyclopedians to get away from the hustle and bustle of everyday Uncyclopedia work and actually have some fun for a change. While I usually am busy with the administrating task of sitting on my lazy ass and doing nothing, this gives users a chance to see me in a more relaxed state." "I fully expect that this venture will be just as successful as my recent run for the Presidency," continued Brad, "which I lost to Bradford Lyttle of the Pacifist party by a mere 110 votes. I fully expect to win one or possibly even two games in this upcoming season, assuming of course that a draft is eventually held." Said draft is scheduled to begin immediately, and assuming only a small portion of footballers flee to Canada to evade this draft, the Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League will be ready to hold its first game by opening day. Village Dump Suffers From Rash of Inactivity By Gerrycheevers In a startling development, activity on Uncyclopedia's main gathering place, the Village Dump, has all but ceased. With The UnIdiot registering the sole comment in the last three full days, the normal flow of important, relevant conversation in the Forums appears to have dried up. While an excess of users can usually be found loitering aimlessly in the halls of the Dump, it appeared all but deserted as of press time. Several theories have been raised, ranging from the intriguingly possible (July weather causes Uncyclopedians to go outside) to the exceedingly headache-inducing (Uncyclopedians are being abducted by giant space cabbages). However, one of the more interesting theories comes from our lead scientist and nature correspondant, DogNewspaper (unavailable for picture). He claims that while the Village Dump itself along with associated forums such as the Ministry of Love and the Help forum has seen a decline in activity, the so-called Benson's House of Pancakes has seen a shocking upswing in activity. In the same time frame that only a single edit was made in the Village Dump, sixteen different topics were edited in Benson's Breakfast Domicile. DogNewspaper, that earlier mentioned nature correspondant, calls this a migration. "Woof," he claimed, elaborating that many users were unable to adapt to conditions found in the normal Village Dump, and were forced to relocate to the more hospitable Benson-related location. It is here, in the BHOP, that users are free to create topics concerning their own birthdays, the anniversaries of their birth, and memorials commemorating the day they were born. Whether the mass exodus is complete or not has yet to be seen.

Check out these pages! US vs UK, the showdown... almost Picture Wars: Forum Edition Still counting to a million From our logs: 03:45, 23 July 2009 Under user blocked Mi$ter Bigg (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (insert Cosby catchphrase here. or not - I don't really give two fucks) 00:48, 20 July 2009 TheLedBalloon blocked 71.195.100.104 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (In the words of Abraham Lincoln, suck my presidential cock, bitch!) 06:30, 18 July 2009 Mordillo blocked Speroxenos (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (your hard on does not impress me) Biopic of the Week Arguably the most prominent sub-primate whose existance status varies depending on the day of the week on the entire wiki, An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays has recently made a return to Uncyclopedia. His track record speaks for itself: awesome articles abound in Ape's presence, his handling of breaking news situations is praiseworthy, and his information guides are useful and informative. Welcome back, Ape! Old School Featured Article of the Week Toilet Door Communication, or TDC, is considered by many to be the forerunner of the modern internet. This fascinating form of conversation is complete with its own exceedingly dense jargon and wide spectrum of users. Washing your hands after use is strongly recommended. Quote of the Week <Bonner> A while later we also completely wrapped the scooter in cling film <Bonner> I still have the photos, he was really pissed about that one <e|m|c> You mean saran wrap. <e|m|c> Fucking English. <Bonner> Cling flim <e|m|c> Uhh. Saran wrap. <Bonner> cling film <Bonner> :) <e|m|c> Cling film <Bonner> Saran wrap <e|m|c> Correct. This Week in Uncyc, 1901 Uncyclopedia users celebrated their first of many week-long tributes to Oscar Wilde, unable to wait the originally planned year after his death. The entire main page was dedicated to Wilde-related issues, and the first instance of mass Wilde quoting ensued. Reader Poll of the Week The editors need your help; please weigh in here on the important, non-boring issue of UnSignpost formatting.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

This edition is on time, and anyone who tells you differently is lying! THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 02:51, 25 July 2009 (UTC)

Hey MrN

I'm not sure how busy you are but I'll be on the site for most of the summer if you still want to work on that collaberation. I'm really sorry I haven't gotten back to you until now. I've been back for a few weeks and it just occured to me a few minutes ago. MadMax 23:16, 25 July 2009 (UTC)

Hi Max. Yes, I would love to do a collaboration with you. :-) I'm not sure if you remember, but I think I put a few ideas for the article title on your talk page a while back. Did you have any ideas for the kinda of article you would like to write? Personally, I'm more of a fan of encyclopaedic style articles as Uncyc as a parody of wikipedia is kinda the fun thing for me, but I'm up for any thing style wise really. Oh, I noticed that you still have {{vacation}} on your (rather nicely laid out) user page. :P Did I mention it's awesome to see you regularly around the place again dude? MrN 18:30, Jul 26

Yeah, I think I have some images and a proposed structure for Neighborhood Watch lying around somewhere. I agree with you about the article style. My favorite articles are the ones where you almost forget you're on Uncyclopedia. ;-) I've gotten involved in a few projects while I'm here too, Gwax's timeline project (I'm still trying to compile all the dates from Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries!), UN:MUP and UN:REQ specifically. It might be nice to do a timeline or a requested article. Thanks for the welcome back by the way. :) ZB seems to have returned too. MadMax 21:06, 26 July 2009 (UTC)

That sounds great. I just had a look at the wikipedia page, and it would work well as a spork, or the basis of a larger article. I'm happy to start it as a spork to get things going, but as you have something already prepared I guess I should allow you to begin? I have a number of ideas, for different directions this could go, but it's always best to get something started, and then play with that as required I find. MrN 00:39, Jul 28

Its not much but this is what I originally had. Its basically a 30-second note I'd written off the top of my head from around the time we originally talked. I do like the idea of sporking Wikipedia's article though. MadMax 14:18, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

You know, I was talking to User:Mhaille about an Uncyclopedia video project. You probably know the UnTube video he did with User:Codeine awhile back? I've love to do Hitler parody video, I know Wikipedia has one now, or maybe dubbing a famous movie scene (like the Patton video) or reediting a trailer (i.e. "Scary Mary"). Wikipedia allows short video clips to be played on articles and it'd be nice to have a similar system. Its too bad pretty much everyone who does YouTube UnNews lives halfway across the world! The local news broadcasts from my college and it has some surprisingly good equipment. Its a shame I haven't thought of this until now since I've had general access to professional video equipment for a few years now. MadMax 13:40, 29 July 2009 (UTC)

Well, that Hitler wikipedia parody was awesome! Seriously funny that. I have changed my user page to reflect such! Hmm, sounds interesting, I have never done any kinda video stuff myself though, so I'm probably not able to help much. I know that RAHB has done some really good audios, and I have an idea that he is into video stuff also, so maybe he might be able to get more involved with the actual manipulation of the video and such... As for the actual concept of Uncyc users making videos... I think that's a great idea if they contribute to the article... It's obviously a lot better than linking to a video which someone has else made. What were you thinking of doing a Hitler parody of? That Wikipedia one sure sets the bar very high! MrN 16:30, Jul 29

Glad you enjoyed it. :) I think Hitler getting banned from Uncyclopedia would be pretty funny, I'm suprised it hasn't been done yet. Maybe it might be a little predictable, but there is a lot of potentential there. Who knows maybe he was secretly User:4.252.99.182 all along ? And of course there's always ED or Illogicopedia... MadMax 20:51, 29 July 2009 (UTC)

A question from ages and ages ago.

Wondering, should Addition have been a quazi as of this? Now, perhaps you are thinking, why is he asking me this 4 months after the fact? The answer is, Yes. Also, I'm unsure of the rules of quazi, so I'm asking you, or whichever other admin reads this because they have your talk page watchlisted. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:50, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

Hea Woody, np... Um, I doubt that would have been a QFA. The "rules" are here. That's linked from the VFH page somewhere I think... Anyway, I think it's likely going to be the "at least 50% of the score of the most recently featured article at the time of removal). " bit which is going to kill ya. +2.5 is going to be a lot less than whatever is highest when it's pulled... MrN 20:58, Jul 27

Gotcha. It was that 50% rule that was a bit hard to understand (for my tiny brain). I couldn't tell if it was talking about # of for votes, overall score, or health. But, now I get it. Now I get it. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:03, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

trousers

many thanks for the award, MrN. i actually revisited the issue because it seemed like he had spammed that poor girl's name everywhere, but i couldn't find it; this was a result of me misspelling it in the search box. i came back to it today and found a veritable slew of bullying, including offenses against individuals other than that poor girl. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:34, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

in addition, the first nomination in Uncyclopedia:VFP/Failed/archive17 is related, but i'm hesitant to remove anything from something such as a VFP archive; could you take a look? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:35, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

Yea. I did a similar thing a while back, but must have put the wrong text in the search box also. That's a rather extensive pattern of cyber naughtiness there, so I upped the ban to 3 months. What a plonker this user is... I had a look at the VFP nom, and yea... Same shit as when he was posting in the forums really. The pic is gone now and it really looks more like Flutter being a arse than anything else, so I'm happy to leave it where it is. Anything in mainspace, obviously just remove. Thanks for sorting this dude. :-) MrN 13:46, Jul 28

no problem. he's got over 100 pages in his userspace, i'll take a cursory glance and see what else he's been doing, particularly concerning his image uploading. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:51, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

There's this one guy...

He's voting on VFH, right? But it's like... He's voting on the articles really fast. Like badass lumberjack shit. It kinda leads me to believe he isn't actually reading the articles... I know he could have already read them all and is just getting around to voting, but it kinda seems suspicious. See? He somehow read UnBooks:"Incoherent Overwritten Literary Trainwreck" by Thomas Pynchon in under two minutes after having read Will Smith (which is much shorter but apparently took more time to read...). Am I making any sense? Am I paranoid in my thinking that he isn't actually reading the articles, but voting anyway? Does it matter? Should I be asking him how to speed read like that? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:59, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

I left a message on his talk page... MrN 21:05, Jul 28

Yeah, I should've done that. I just don't want anyone getting mad at me. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:09, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

You should have thought about that before you slept with my sister, douchebag. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 21:14, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

Now, now. It isn't my fault I ruined your marriage. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:15, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

Our love was real, until you messed it all up with your leather jacket and city-slicker ways. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 21:19, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

You can tell the love was real by looking at the photos. Pup t 00:55, 29/07/2009

Thanks

Thanks! I will definitely do that. And also, thanks again for the advice. And the comment as well. --Yoyoddd 21:08, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

favour

I voted on an archived VFH without realising and I now can't go back and undo what I did due to the "no editing" bit. Can you do some voodoo for me? (And I still can't work out how it happened exactly.) Pup t 08:50, 3/08/2009

Ah, it looks OK to me. Don't worry about it. These things happen sometimes... MrN 13:46, Aug 3

FU!

PIE! So there! I had been fixing up an article when you did that, and it didn't save! Now it's lost forever. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:15, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Oh, you fibber you. Cos Dexter has no idea whatsoever about how to use his computer. Click the "Go back" a few times :P MrN 15:18, Aug 3

I got rid of that so it'd say, "STOP! Hammertime!" Every time I press the "Stop loading" button. No seriously. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:20, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Well I can understand why you would consider that sensible... MrN 15:22, Aug 3

I know. It was a wise and awesome trade. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:24, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Also, these adverts at the bottom of the page here... Yea, those. They are linking to google right? As in there is google in the URL. Did our old spotlight thing link to google like that??? MrN 15:26, Aug 3

Now you're just making up lame against reasons. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:28, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

MrN, I had typed up a reply, but it was lost because of a stupid ban. I am NOT Cajek, dammit! Also, what the Hell are you talking about, Socky? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:32, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

His against vote, obviously. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:34, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

thanks for understanding

hey i know you read the comment on my page about this site sucking.i dont really mean that.the site is okay.ive read the user guide.the mama luigi article getting huffed.yeh, i knew that was essentialy crap.but i know the sally acorn article had a large of legitimate and true information about her.sure there was a lot of random bullshit but why did they delete the whole thing.just take the random stuff off and the other coherent stuff can pass for an article.her whole real biography was on there .seriously.and one more thing. is getting a large amount of articles huffed illegal on here.if yuo get tooo many articles huffed.does yuor account get terminated.jupiterfox

Like I said dude, don't feel too bad. All of us have had articles deleted. Myself included... ;) Admins (like me) can recreate deleted pages so I could give you a copy of Sally Acorn back, but because it's been deleted at VFD if you did want to work on that article some more it would need to be TOTALLY different from the previous article. That would be in your userspace only, and you would need to ask me to take a look at it before it was moved back to the mainspace. If you want to do this... Let me know. MrN 18:04, Aug 3

UnSignpost: July 30th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper 4 out of 5 Dentists Agree On!

July 30th, 2009• Issue 58• Now Delivered Trendily Late!

Uncyclopedia Users Alter Time Itself By The Woodburninator This week: an update. As previously reported in an earlier news story, one month ago several well-known contributors went on a campaign to try and delete time itself. It is said they were trying to bring about an end to unfunniness throughout history, with the slight side effect of non-existence. But just as it looked as if their plan would come to fruition, cooler heads prevailed and stopped everything in its tracks. Since then, the plan has changed. Instead of deleting all that ever was, the users have decided it would be much more prudent to just change all of history to their liking. Several users have been seen spending their free time on User:Gwax/Timeline rebuild, in some cases changing events one year at a time, and in others trying to change entire millennia. How they are able to do this, no one is sure, though rumors of a DeLorean DMC-12 have been circulating. The outcomes of the project have, thus far, been very good for us for everyone. There was one unfortunate incident when a user tried to give his parents millions of dollars before he was born, but the extra money forced them to separate before he was conceived. All of a sudden he didn't exist, but then if he didn't exist, how could he have gone back in time to change anything? It caused a huge rift in space/time, a bit of a bother really. But we're happy to report that everything has been sorted out with no casualties only one casualty! Remarks from the community on the process have been nothing but positive. "In order to walk the road of peace, we need to climb the mountain of conflict," notable scholar TKF exclusively commented. We have our entire staff working around the clock to figure out what this means as we speak. Town drunk Dexter111344 was also heard mumbling about the subject. He blamed wizards for the whole thing, before stumbling away, probably to make more links to A wizard did it. Regardless, whether its wizards or time machines, the editing of the past continues as we speak, and will continue until all of history has been changed. Or until we get bored and move onto something else. Uncyclopedia Editors Conflicted Over Story Topic By Gerrycheevers Owing to the large amount of things happening in the last week, and also to the fact that this issue is unforgivably late, the editors of the UnSignpost were unable to settle on a single topic for the second story of this week's edition. The editors were also unable to agree on either two topics for a rare three-story issue or how many UnSignpost editors it takes to screw in a lightbulb (the UnSignpost staff has been left to ponder this question in the dark). As a decision could not be reached, it was decided after much deliberation and petty arguing that all of the candidate stories be mentioned rapid-fire in a single story, so as to confuse and irritate the reader and cause him to be required to navigate back to this issue to click on all of the links. These stories are as follows: Zombiebaron returns and petitions to end voting. His effort is parodied, rebutted, and parodied again. A link to Requested Articles is placed on the sidebar and MadMax commences handing out badges to requested article creators. Zombiebaron returns again to demand reskins, which we understand means he needs to replace all of his undead flesh with "fresh flesh". Cajek returns, but not really. VFH maxes out at 23 nominations at press time, including some discussion-inducing selections. More events certainly occured, but we can't be arsed to list everything for you.

Check out these pages! UN:REQ Gone Wilde! All the Greatest Music of the 80s, on Three Great Cassettes! Whose Sandwich? From our logs: 14:47, 26 July 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 8 hours ‎(I banned a guy for too long this one time. Then I had nachos.) 20:40, 29 July 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked MadMax (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 Minute (Constantly littering recent changes with thousands of really useful edits.) 20:45, 29 July 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 minutes ‎(Not having enough tits.) 15:17, 30 July 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 122.173.57.31 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(blanking? why not just wear a t-shirt proudly declaiming "I have no life"? it has much the same effect, but you might get away with claiming it's ironic...) Biopic of the Week Touching down on the Uncyclopedia runway in December '08, Saberwolf116 has quickly become one of the all-time great Pee Reviewers. With 86 of them under his belt, Saber has recently ridden off into a yellow sunset to pursue some sort of education, or something along those lines that will detract from his Uncyclopedia-ing. Return soon, fair Saberwolf! Old-School Featured Article of the Week Bold Speech to text software bold is the most wide Lee used applicate shin by lacy people who can knot be bother to type. It's bark tech know lodge-y has vast Lee bark improve in Reese cent years. Bark bark it is not recommend Ed bark four use in bark off is spaces bark with noisy bark dogs. Diabolical Plan to Overtake the Wiki of the Week It seems that UnSignpost co-chief editor Under user has recently succeeded in the first stages of producing a sewer-dwelling offspring (pictured). Rumors of UU using the as-yet-unnamed biological sockpuppet for activities of questionable morality are unconfirmed. Congratulations, UU! Reader Poll Results Last week we asked loyal UnSignpost readers to weigh in on the immensely interesting issue of formatting. There was no clear consensus on the subject, as it seems Uncyclopedians employ the full range of screen resolutions, and as such it's a wonder anyone can read the UnSignpost at all. The most telling aspect of the poll was its response rate, indicating that a full eight people read the UnSignpost.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

It's on time, you were just high and didn't realize when it got here! THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 02:35, 4 August 2009 (UTC)

"I have absolutely no idea what's going on, I'm going to put the kettle on"

Wise words. It's what we Brits do when the world looks like it's coming to an end, lol. --Ozymandiaz 14:21, 4 August 2009 (UTC)

Yep. There is a startlingly high number of Brits here on Uncyc. MrN 15:22, Aug 5

I'm pleased to here that, sometimes I feel like it's run by Americans. --Ozymandiaz 18:39, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Americans are ok. In small doses.    Orian57    Talk   18:42 6 August 2009

Hey.

I noticed you protected this so only autoconfirmed users could edit and only admins can move it. Thanks, I guess. Mind doing the same with this? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:13, 4 August 2009 (UTC)

I see how it is these days.... You turn up here at any time you like demanding I stop all of the other important tasks I'm performing so that I have to do this or that... You are not the boss of me boy! MrN 15:26, Aug 5

# (Protection log); 15:23 . . MrN9000 (Talk | contribs | block) protected "Template:QVFDarchive" [edit=autoconfirmed] (indefinite) 
[move=sysop] (indefinite) (Dexter said so)

Yes, I do. Remember, the people voted you into power, you can kill them, now. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 16:39, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

Did I find a valid reason to vote abstain on VFD?

On Channel 9's VFD nomination I basically abstained (in more words) because I was unfamiliar with the subject. Would you consider that a valid comment or not? Bear in mind to that the nomination was, and more or less still is, being "ignored" by other VFD voters. --Mn-z 06:07, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Dude. Sorry if all this "how to vote" BS is bugging ya. The truth is I really don't mind how you vote. After all it's entirely up to you if you do or not. If you do it helps the wiki because you are a good voter. If you really want to type abstain on a vote when you don't know either way that's cool with me. It's not helping me decide what the result would should be, but if it makes you feel good to type it then heck... It's just more useful if ya vote one way or the other. I don't think there is any "valid" way to vote, or would I ever like to see such a thing laid down in any kinda rule structure. OK... I'm going to try to answer directly without being too rude... Um... Did you find a valid reason to abstain there? Um... Well I understand why you did not vote, but did you telling people that actually help the vote? Let me ask you this about that article... You looked at it right? You read a few paragraphs maybe? I bet you have some kinda feeling inside having seen a lot of other similar articles pass through VFD. I know you are really thinking... Hmm yea, I'm not sure what this is about, but some of it looks presentable it's had different editors obviously, and there is a fair page history so maybe it's not total crap... But as you have doubt you opt for the "middle ground". Yea. I have no idea about channel 9 either. I doubt many of the other VFD voters will, so we have to do the best we can. MrN 06:27, Aug 6

You flip-flopper. Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 06:49, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

I did a what when? Ah, you must have seen me naked. I had no idea whatsoever that this video would become available on the internet. MrN 07:26, Aug 6

So in other words, nobody cares about abstaining? --Mn-z 05:02, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

I refer the honourable gentleman to the question I gave some moments ago. It was not that the nomination was being ignored, I'm sure that people were looking at it. I did. Like me they were probably thinking "who the hell is that?" and not bothering to vote hoping someone who knew more about the subject would come along... MrN 05:25, Aug 9

UnNews Paedophiles Rejoice Over New Child Database

I love UnNews:Paedophiles Rejoice Over New Child Database which I just saw. You made it sound like a real news article and also made some points about problems with the whole database. After I work with some others on the God article, I'm going to try to resurrect the 10-time-huffed Pedobear, so was looking for ideas. Your article inspired me thanks! Miley Spears 07:50, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Be careful with resurecting articles that have been huffed so many times. First write them in your user space which would be like this: User:Miley Spears/Paedobear (I presume you'll want to use the correct spelling) Also I've always (as in I've never before thought about this article but now that I have) It might be a good idea to make Paedobear a hated paediatrition (I don't know how that's spelt) instead of a paedophille loved by all.    Orian57    Talk   11:02 6 August 2009

Hea. Glad you liked it. I had some fun writing that one. Centralised control on identity information is not always a good idea... Yea, Orian is probably right. It might be best to start it in user space, but it's up to you. Good luck! MrN 13:52, Aug 6

I thought it was law    Orian57    Talk   13:55 6 August 2009

CVP died a death when we started being able to protect deleted pages I think. MrN 13:59, Aug 6

Oh. Nobody told me that. But regardless, you should get a pee review when you're done.    Orian57    Talk   14:13 6 August 2009

Thanks for all the advice! I'll start in my user space. But I did resurrect Brooke Shields which has been huffed many times, and it hasn't been huffed--yet. (Keeping my fingers crossed). Miley Spears 18:47, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

What happened at the library today

For those people who think that libraries are dull, a friend of mine works at a library. Today she had a patron who she suspects had Dissociative Identity Disorder chasing her around the library with a Garden stake. Just thought you might like to know. Not for any particular reason, just coz. Pup t 11:05, 6/08/2009

That's a bit gay isn't it? (pretty soon I'll turn this into an accepted phrase!)    Orian57    Talk   11:07 6 August 2009

Phallic maybe... don't know about gay. Pup t 11:09, 6/08/2009

Just don't mention that the lady had golden breasts and a tenancy to mention the word "pants" unnecessarily often. MrN 13:55, Aug 6

...Oh you're talking about yourself!    Orian57    Talk   13:57 6 August 2009

Clearing things up

Yeh...hi MrN9000, we need to have a talk (and some tea). This is me, Flutter, you know, the guy you gave a 1, later 3 month ban due to this so called "cyberbulling". Well i'm editing as The Very Neopian and I am speaking thruoh my 3 month ban.

ok, first thing off my mind is 'Nayely' or Nayely the Conquer. Nayely the Conquer was a article I was planning to write about a evil yet wise dictator. It was pretty wack that you guys thought it was cyber abit IT was designed after a real person (friend of mine). And all my images with 'Nayely' were about Nayely the Conquer.

It also seemed that Photobucket was more appropriate for that image uploading (u know, cyber). I will tell you more.

I just wanted to say alot that you didn't know, concerning my ban. I just wanted to make this riffraff clear so you won't have to say things like "oh he's going back to cyberbully" and shit, and yes I am terrible at explaining. Also i'm not asking for a instant unban cause quite obviously, I don't deserve one. Hope this helps and gives second thoughts. —Flutter Tuwoolookie! | My History | Brute! 04:09, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

I appreciate you being polite about this and being honest about using this soc. Unfortunately for you I have spent some time going through your contributions and I am confident that what you were doing fell well with what we class as "UN:CBN". I'm sorry to say that therefore I have to consider your above story to be to come under what is classed as "Bullshit". Unfortunately I can't remove your ban now. If you can come up with a better story, or just want to discuss this further please contact me via e-mail using the "e-mail this user" option on my user page. If I catch you using another sockpuppet I will infi-ban your Flutter account. I'm now going to block this account. I honestly recommend you avoid editing this wiki in anyway, and say anything further you want to say to me via e-mail. I know there is a chance that I'm wrong about this and that you are telling the truth, but from where I'm standing right now it's not worth the risk. Sorry. MrN 04:29, Aug 7

Ahem, since this was the second sock already I indefbanned Flutter, didn't see this conversation. Feel free to take over from here and unban if you'd like, even though I don't think he understands the concept of "being banned". Also, I'm away for the weekend, can you take care of the feature queue for today and tomorrow? ~ 15:10, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

I'm certainly in no rush to have this user return to the wiki... Sure. I will try to remember to sort the FQ. Have a nice weekend. :) MrN 15:16, Aug 7

Montenegro

Yes, it is a work in progress. ~Sir Rangeley GUN WotM UotM EGA +S (talk) 14:12, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Nice to see you editing the wiki dude. :-) MrN 14:14, Aug 8

Aw, come on!

You could have left it for a little while at least! -OptyC Sucks! CUN14:41, 8 Aug

Baaa Humbug! MrN 14:54, Aug 8

You could try creating a few other redirects, though. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:56, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

o lol. I hadn't noticed you did that. That'll work, though I normally hate the oops template. -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:31, 8 Aug

Whoops? Yea. Trouble is... When you add one people then add loads more. Some of em are really good though... MrN 19:18, Aug 8

on mama luigi article being vfd

whats up, i just wanted to discuss the mama luig article being vfd'd.ive posted some pretty crappy articles on here.sally acorn and such that were filled with loads of trash without legitamite info.

i dont have a grude against any of the users or admins on here.im not calling anybody an ass.im not trying to be dick or anything.i just think it was a little unreasonable that the mama luig article got deleted and redirected to the luigi one.it was random,,no doubt about it,and had no established fact.he was satan's son or whatever.however,mama luigi dosnet have an established history like the burger king mascot.its like he just exists and thats it. he is a meme on youtube that came from an episode of a super mario cartoon.if i just blutly stated that on his page,or say two sentences like "or is it the bagel" or "ive found a magic balloon," the article would have been vfd'd on the grounds of it being inadequate in length.and plus luigi and mama luigi are different.they are kinda the same person but mama luigi uses a particular set of jokes that are associated with just him and not regular luigi.its kinda like weegee.the guy that has a creepy stare.

i can try to fix the mama luigi article on my user page and elaborate on him being evil more and him battling with jesus christ.or i can write that he created karl marx and communism. but the article would be relativly the same as the one was that was taken off.it would have to be fabricated info about him.sorry for the long post..peace-Jupiterfox 8 Aug

I'm not really sure what it is that you are wanting me to say. Yea, it's a bitch that it got deleted, but VFD is kinda the law around here. If you re-create something similar to what was deleted, it will almost certainly be deleted again. It's harsh I know. All I can recommend is that you check out some of UN:BEST to see what it is that we are looking for. Good luck. MrN 16:00, Aug 8

i guess what i was trying to ask you if making a similar article about mama luigi being satan longer and with differnt jokes would have a good chance of getting deleted again or not .but i dont know what people want in terms of an article on a character like that. its like writing about weegee.there is nothing really to say about him except for making shit,ill look at un:best,like you said,that will help alotJupiterfox 8 Aug

Just make it a bit more sophisticated. Avoid the obvious childish angle, and look for something which will appeal to a wider number of readers. this is an example of a good article written about a game character IMO. Like you said though, writing about something like this is tricky. Maybe a different subject might suit for a while until you feel more confident? There are loads of ideas here take a look and see if anything takes your fancy... MrN 17:47, Aug 8

Hello

I see you are an admin. I'd like you to help me out. Normally you send articles to ?pedia, but I was wondering if I could bring one here. Would that be fine, or not? ~ Readmesoon 23:12, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Hi. Hmm, well I don't have a problem if it's OK with ?pedia, the person who wrote it and the person who you actually need to talk to about this who is... Hindleyite. He is an admin on ?pedia, and on Uncyc so he will be able to help more than me. MrN 23:20, Aug 8

Ok, thanks for the help. I'll contact him and see what he can do. But another catch about moving the article here is the fact that an article here already exists, so that's sort of why I asked you. ~ Readmesoon 23:24, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Lul.

• (diff) (hist) . . User:Killer 3.14‎; 01:20 . . (+125) . . Killer 3.14 (Talk | contribs) (→UIBs: )
• ((Block log); 01:20 . . MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked Killer 3.14 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week (I asked you nicely before to stop that. Now stop trolling.)

Haha! MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 01:22, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

HAL9000, indeed Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 01:38 August 9 '09

Also, nice job flooding recent changes. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 01:47, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Bloody hell...

...you're right - I do need to lay off the special cigarettes. Not only do I have no idea how I managed to do that, I'd hadn't even the foggiest that I had done until noticing you'd cleaned up after me. Thanks for doing so, by the way. /me pulls small bag of herbal stuff from pocket, looks at it accusingly and throws it out of window. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:14, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Ah, it's easy done. I normally use 3 windows when archiving and who knows which one you are typing what in! MrN 12:17, Aug 9

OK, I'll use that excuse. It's less loaded than pleading insanity, which was my original plan. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:58, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Loaded Like a Freight Train, Flying Like An Airplane. Feeling like a spacebrain one more time tonight. MrN 13:02, Aug 9

Sorry

'bout the tributes on the Jade Goody Article. I saw the bad formatting and little humour, then knocked them off thinking they'd just been tacked onto the bottom by some IP. (Bonner) (Talk) Aug 9, 12:32

Not sure why it's "sorry", tis just my opinion. :P I think they were added by an IP actually... Most of this article was. I have kept an eye on it, removing the crap as it mounted up, but yea... Fair few IPs have made good contributions to this one. MrN 12:55, Aug 9

block

Please block me for 7 seconds. Don't ask, just do it.--Almost Sir Random Crap

Donald Duck doesn't need fixing?

I thought the Donald Duck article was a mess, and needed fixing. You removed the template that said so. Is this because you disagree and think it's great the way it is, or I did I overstep my bounds by putting the template there? Thankies. Binky The WonderSkull 21:26, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Well where have you been eh? Gone since 2006 and suddenly back again. Hi! It's no problem... {{Fix}} is one of our more sensitive templates as it has a time limit on it (as it says on the template), and it puts the article in a category. After 30 days an admin will check the page. It's not for "well known things" though. As Donald is a household name he might be more suited to {{rewrite}} but I would ask that you are VERY careful about placing such templates. If we put one of those templates on every page it would not help much that's all... If you don't have much experience with Uncyc, it's probably best to concentrate on editing for now. Enjoy. MrN 21:49, Aug 10

All rightie then! I'm focusing on rewriting Lost in Space. Feel free to let me know what you think of it so far. And by the way, I posted here in 2006, 2007, 2008 and 2009. Just had a lot of gap in between. Binky The WonderSkull 01:31, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! August 6th, 2009!! WE BE LATE, Y'ALL!!!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

August 6th, 2009 • Issue 59 • Painfully Extracting Nuggets of Truth from the Teeth of the News!

Uncyclopedia Triples Ad Revenue; Users Line Up For Paychecks By Gerrycheevers This week, Uncyclopedia's benign evil overlords, Wikia, shuffled the advertising layout on our fine website. Previously, the left sidebar contained just one Wikia spotlight. These spotlights are not advertisements as much as they are a way to whore Wikia and increase its position in some sort of Google rankings, since the links from the banner ads go from Wikia-hosted Uncyclopedia to Google and back to Wikia-hosted wikis on such relevant topics to users who are on a satire wiki as the Burnout Wiki and the Harry Potter wiki. These Google rankings are actually a series of thousands of monkeys at Google headquarters, who move beads around on giant abaci based on search engine hits. Users who click these cleverly disguised and probably illegal "double-switch" ads cause the monkeys to alter the beads in Wikia's favor. However, in recent days this Wikia spotlight was moved to the bottom of each page rather than the sidebar and multiplied by three. A cursory look at any of the wikis linked in these spotlights results in a brutal assault of the senses, as they are all swimming in banner advertisements, sidebar advertisements, advertisements in the content, and links to highly useful Wikia features such as Wikianswers. While the increased number of spotlights on Uncyclopedia has not directly resulted in any cash flow, the increased Google bead rating has indeed caused Wikia stock to jump by six beads (the stock market is also organized using giant abaci, only it is operated by goats rather than monkeys). Wikia has decided to share credit for this jump in value with the users of Uncyclopedia, and all users will be receiving checks for equal amounts next Tuesday. The line forms behind Olipro, wherever he happens to be on Tuesday when the stock market goats arbitrarily decide to stop working for the day. A Hell of a Time at the Village Dump By Bad Shroom Recently in the forums, BHOP's activity has arguably skyrocketed. An IP has started a new rhyming craze, and the cheesy, crunchy snack food CheddarBBQ has revived many topics that were getting rather aged, such as Fantasy Football, a Shakira-esque topic, and even his own birthday's topic. Back on BHOP, fruity user Neox's random storytelling and serious user YouKnowWhatTheMusicMeans' serious, dramatic storytelling have made Forum:Who HATES MochiAds? 2's story a complete, random mess. Also, Optimuschris and Modusoperandi have been having one hell of a time discussing the much-anticipated failing of the new G.I. Joe movie. Finally, users have a had a heated battle over whether to ban the Abstain feature on VFH, which is ending up as off-topic and random as an episode of Lost. Are there any cool discussions going on? That's the forum news in your area, now here's Mr. G with the weather, only on Public Access Channel 2!

Check out these pages! The 18th Quadrennial Slut List Obama Tosses the Patriot Act at Uncyclopedia STFU, N00B!! From our logs: 08:49, 31 July 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a flat cap and a whippet ‎(tha's callin' us lazy, lad? sithee 'ere, I were down t'pit 36 hours a day for tuppence when tha were nobbut a lad!) 02:40, 1 August 2009 Ljlego (Talk | contribs) resurrected Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Nah, it wasn't so bad. Your nakedness totally made up for it.) 02:01, 5 August 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.14.52.46 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(Yes, you tell that "Jacob" what you really think about him! Now that you've told him off on a random website online you'll be the coolest one of your friends. You are such a badass.) Biopic of the Week Like most of the dozens of Uncyclopedians that hail from Norwell, Massachusetts, The UnIdiot is awesome. Perhaps most well known for his high quality journalism, he has also branched out into public service announcements and novelized fiction. We don't know what the deal with Norwell is; probably something to do with the water. Old School Featured Article of the Week The Water powered bus is the most prominent mode of public transportation in rainy cities such as Seattle and London, and also underwater cities like Atlantis and New Orleans. Invented in 1954 by Sir Henry Bus, the water powered bus is capable of maintaining speeds between 'brisk gentlemanly walk' and 'brisk gentlemanly trot' for up to ten minutes. Cajek Update of the Fortnight Noted funnyman Cajek was recently spotted announcing his presence and simultaneously his lack of activity. However, he was also sighted vandalizing signatures and driving in a reckless manner, with a crumpet in his hand and a groundhog on his lap, respectively.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Hand delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:28, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

India

Thanks for the recommendation on India. After I'm done with Bangladesh, I'll clean up India. I just wish I had more free time. InMooseWeTrust 19:23, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Cool! Your article whoring skills are improving also! Congratulations! MrN 19:29, Aug 11

Clementine Attlee

Thanks for your comment on the page. Always willing to help with an edit. It has a good chance for a VFH but I felt it missed a fruit cocktail of a finish IMV - hence my current abstain. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate). 19:50, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

As I said, many thanks. As per your vote... Ya Coward! :P I'm only joking, but if you don't think it's up to the standard that we normally FA then why not vote against? Still I'm glad you did not... :) MrN 20:27, Aug 11

Possible collab opportunity

Just a quick question: are you a cricket lover? I'm having a bit of fun with TMS, but thought it might benefit from the input of a fellow Brit - if you know the subject, I thought it might tickle your fancy. If not, no biggie, I'll carry on my merry way, but I thought I'd ask. --UU - natter 10:05, Aug 12

That's looking pretty good already that. I'm not sure if I can manage full Boycott prose, but I will try and toss a few off spinners in. As for collaborations in general, allow me to whore to you the new and improved Forum:So I made this thing. As you will notice it's an evolution of something I was playing with before. I have been thinking about this one a fair bit. There are good points to it and some bad points, but I think it's a good idea. Do you? Your input would be very welcome sir. MrN 10:14, Aug 12

I saw it. I think it's a decent idea - I did back when it was the whorehouse - for some users and articles. Particularly new users or those who have had a good idea but are struggling to finish it off. For myself, I like writing on my own, and I tend to be selective about asking people to contribute to my stuff - only asking if I think they would make a real impact on the thing, so I probably wouldn't use it myself. Which is why I haven't commented on the forum. But I can see it being very handy for the right people and the right articles. --UU - natter 10:25, Aug 12

Cheers dude. If you can think of any negative things which might happen if I were to say... Put this into the mainspace, let me know... I'm off to edit that TMS thing. I also have not slept today. Whoops. I thought I might stay up and see if it improves my creative juices. :D MrN 10:33, Aug 12

Yeah, put a very British article about cricket into the Mainspace while Australia are doing badly at the Ashes. I can't think of a single thing that can go wrong there. Now where did I put that sockpuppet Actually I like it in part, but not completely. Pup t 10:46, 12/08/2009

"Doing very badly" - you just completely slaughtered us at Headingley, and go into the final winner-takes-all game with all the momentum, the in-form batsmen, and a bowling attack that seems to have remembered it's supposed to be good. Doesn't seem that bad to me... --UU - natter 11:14, Aug 12

Thanks for the contributinos dude - I like 'em. Hope you don't mind the tweaks I made to them - I'm shooting for a specific 'voice' with each section, and I'm trying to keep them consistent with that. Any more ideas or things to add before I unleash it to mainspace and request a pee? --UU - natter 14:37, Aug 12

Yea, what I did was out of style. Thought it might work due to the ref, but I get what ya did. ;) I thought there might be a place for the bowler erupting with excitement mind, but tis all good. Stick it in mainspace for sure. MrN 14:43, Aug 12

Muchas gracias, my friend - and further thanks for the contributions, which gave me the spur and impetus I really needed - it's been a while since I finished anything enough to mainspace it. You are, as ever, a gentleman. --UU - natter 15:21, Aug 12

I do know what you mean. Sometimes just getting a tiny edit from someone can break the "block" you can have on a section making it a lot easier to sort it out. It's cool when come up with something better as a result. MrN 15:27, Aug 12

The articles on SPARTAAA

And let's face it, there are a fair few. Call me boring (actually, don't) but I think the joke gets a bit old after a while. Old enough in fact to make Menzies Campbell look relatively young by comparison. For the time being I suggest redirecting Sparta, This is madness and This is not SPARTAAA to Leonidas. I would also suggest creating a category for Thing that are not Sparta as I think that would be quite funny. --Ozymandiaz 11:20, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

What completely get rid of Sparta? But this is Sparta? Do you kids know nothing! You can make redirects for the other two which are red links yourself if you want to. Not so sure about the category. Which pages would you put it on, cos it's going to get kinda lame after a while that joke. MrN 11:31, Aug 12

Um, ok...

MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) huffed "User:An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays/Catalog Of Shit VFH Comments" (Cos this page is really going to help with things. Nice one Ape.)

It was in userspace, I hadn't even finished creating it, or made a forum, and I was asking around IRC to see what people thought before I made it a thing. I mean, you're the admin, but that seems hasty to me. -- cut-rate Ape (burglarise) (Riot Porn) 15:28, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

In all seriousness and honesty (and as an experienced Uncyc user) are you asking me to believe that this page was not in any way intended to incite drama? Sorry Ape. That's clearly bullshit. I don't like drama because it distracts people from doing useful things. Please don't do that. Anyway, what happened to that thing you and Lj were working on in IRC in your userspace? MrN 15:34, Aug 12

I started writing something else, I'm sure we'll get back to it. Anyway, did you actually read the page before you huffed it? It had plenty of anti-drama stuff on it... -- cut-rate Ape (burglarise) (Riot Porn) 15:45, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Actually, I think it might help prevent drama, cos if people are frustrated about some crappy vote, they have somewhere to put it, rather than just causing drama on the VFH nom. -- cut-rate Ape (burglarise) (Riot Porn) 15:52, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Course I read it! I saw NOTHING which was anti-drama. You want to create a page where people can post copies of votes they don't like. You get to decide which ones get to stay on the page, and everyone else can come and see. Cos that's great for drama prevention. Double all the drama and put it in one place! You are not serious man. No way. Can't take ya seriously on that. If someone has a problem with a page, they contact an admin. Or just wait a bit and an admin will be along anyway. MrN 15:59, Aug 12

So

No replies on collabo. Meanwhile - do you have more time on your hands than you can use? I have 16 000 articles that need an ickle push. -- Style  Guide 18:16, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

You are working on 16,000 articles right now? I was planning on doing some writing on one of my "dead" projects on my user page... MrN 18:18, Aug 12

I'll post the most promising ones on the collaboradiocarbonate page. -- Style  Guide 18:22, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Cool. Only the ones you are actually working on, and are going to be working on really soon though. Don't flood it. MrN 18:39, Aug 12

I'll do one at a time. I have some that really need only a little to be ready to main. -- Style  Guide 18:42, 12 August 2009 (UTC)