User talk:Fbi36

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, Fbi36, just to say I like that article you have up for review. It could potentially be a feature (imo, I would certainly vote for it if it were cleaned up a bit, maybe an extra pic or two, I'll tell you more in the review). Are you going to create yourself a homepage? No pressure or anything, I just have redlinkphobia, so I find you and User:InMooseWeTrust very distressing. --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 08:03, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

I was just starting to edit it when i got this, I'm trying to address some of the concerns on VFH and clean it up a bit. I may eventually get around to making a namespace, Don't want to frighten you--Fbi36 08:15, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Heh, no problem, it's just, well nice and homely and stuff. I can come over bring you some freshly baked cookies, we can discuss the future of knitting together. Do you still want me to do a review? I can do so, but I'm not sure what you're planning on doing next --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 08:26, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

I just finished with the edits it was just some basic maintenance stuff, Adding more images, Rearranging, Getting rid of a few unpopular things, I would still appreciate a review. And i always have freshly baked cookies on hand--Fbi36 08:45, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Awesome, I'll get round to it a bit later, I've decided to make a rare effort at one of my own articles right now --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 09:15, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Thanks and good luck on your article. Just one note, I only add humors links make sure to check those out. Fibby Out! --Fbi36 09:27, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

OK I cleaned it up, if it were to be a feature, it would have to have a few major things sorted out, but I'll explain these in the review. I think the core of the article - either the concept of a book teaching infants how their infancy is the only worthwhile part of their life, the concept of a man who obviously believes this to be the case and has gone a bit nuts writing a book about it, or the idea of satirising those typically 1950s/1960s psychology experiments (like Piaget, who I thought you were referencing) where they tended to completely dehumanise their participants - would be very good if you can stick with it, but at the moment it's a bit messy and I'm not sure exactly what I'm supposed to think reading it. It probably just needs an intro from a sympathetic viewpoint.

I'll include all that ^ in the final comment review as well btw, it pretty much sums up the essence of what I think of it so far --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 20:27, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Thank you for the formatting help but when you say an intro from a sympathetic viewpoint what exactly do you mean? And another point of the article is that the unnamed man reading the book was very nostalgic about the book, and upon rereading, finds out that it sucks --Fbi36 21:15, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Ahhh, sorry, I overlooked that. In that case I'll bear that in mind when I do the full review (that's mainly what I meant by a 'sympathetic viewpoint' btw, someone to act as an objective bridge between the viewer and the book you are recounting). --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 21:21, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Ok review is done, not sure how to link to it though :( --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 23:04, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

I saw it, thanks for all the feedback. I'm working on it now and addressing some of the problems you had, And some thing that i felt were sub-par --Fbi36 23:08, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

No problem, one of the things I find most annoying in articles is there being too much content, particularly overly long paragraphs, so it's actually quite refreshing to read one that if anything needs a little more content and is very well structured. Good luck--El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 23:12, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Well I'm all done with my edit. I tried do address all of your issues and implement most of your suggestions. I couldn't do the book cover cause i don't have a sufficient image editing software. Anyway tell me what you think--Fbi36 06:57, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

Will do, give me a few hours, I'll do a proper review for you and paste it here. --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 08:40, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

Hello again, I don't know if you notice, but I did some chatting over on the Nostalgia talk page. Also, sorry if I changed some things you didn't want me to change.--El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 17:02, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

I looked it over and you didn't change anything i didn't want changed, you messed up some of the formatting in the interview part but I fixed it and it's all good now. I would just like to thank you for how nice and welcoming you're being, I understand it's standard fare but still.--Fbi36 18:52, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

Not at all, actually I feel guilty that I can't finish this review. I don't like doing something unless I can do it well and I've spent all afternoon feeling pretty crap (for some unknown reason, I blame the past-sell-by-date spring rolls I ate earlier) so haven't got round to reviewing yet. Yeah I saw that I messed up the text a bit, sorry about that. I've been thinking some more about this, and perhaps a smallish review is the best way to consider what to do in the article next. I tried writing a longer one and had the concept/humour sections finished then idiotically lost it when changing pages and now I'm just in one of those situations where the last thing you want to do is write out exactly the same as you did before.

Anyway, the article is actually above average quality. Sure, it's not Featurable quality but it's at least original on many levels and includes some very funny lines. I still think it could be featured actually, but it would involve stepping back and possibly changing vast sections of the text and concept, knowing exactly what it is you're satirising, being clear about it, rather than spinning a random tale, which can be fun, but is less likely to be featured.

Essentially it's whether you want to stick by your own style and tell the story how you want to tell it, or whether you want to sell out a little and lose some of your own vision--El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 19:06, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

Oh btw, if you did want to see how other people do things, or just get an idea of the bureaucratic side of Uncyclopedia, you can visit the VFH page (where people vote for/against pages being featured) or you can view that page that everyone always mentions - HTBFANJS. I would suggest trying to refine your comedy in your own way though, to be honest I've never read HTBFANJS anyway--El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 19:11, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

I think I'll just stick to my style, put it in VFH and if it gets featured, it gets featured. And if it doesn't I'll just move on to another article and try to do my best on that one. But do you think there's anything I can do on this article do improve it that sticks to my style?--Fbi36 19:34, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

Nah not really, just make it consistent to some kind of pre-set goal you have for it. I'm sure if you get into your head exactly what you want to achieve with it - I mean, understand what it is that it is parodying or mocking, what you want the viewer feeling when he/she is reading it, what you want the ultimate point of the article to be, any or all of these things - and think about how to achieve this for a few days, or a week or even more, just as you're going about whatever it is you do, you'll come up with new ideas, and you can work on it.

The most important thing, for me anyway, is not to try and force yourself. Just let the article come naturally, whenever you have an idea, and it should come out good in the end. Do come back to me if you have any more queries though, I'll be happy to look over it again (but not tonight, too tired)--El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 19:54, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

Oh btw, one of the major problems I was going to point out was that not only is your portrait of Gimlet about 100 years older (it looks like its from the mid-1800s), I believe (although can't be sure), that it is of Samuel Taylor Coleridge, who is quite a famous poet, and thus would lose some of the sense of authenticity for you. --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 20:52, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

Well then I will change it as soon as possible. Thanks for pointing that out. But I did mean for it to look old.--Fbi36 21:19, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

Ok I changed the photo of gimlet and if you know who it is this time I'm just going to make a stick figure in paint. I also added to the interview with Craig.--Fbi36 22:40, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

Ok cool, I'll have a look. I've been thinking about the best way for you to approach this and I thought perhaps it would be for you to find a goal in your head for where you want to take the article and such, and if you need any help achieving that, that is where I could perhaps help most.

Ok I looked at the pic, hahaha, I get the joke now (and feel pretty stupid for not getting it originally), good pic! Though I fear it may be a Royal, or, I don't know, T.S. Eliot or someone. He looks familiar. Nevermind, its a lot better anyway! :)--El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 22:50, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

Nope, he just some random ancestor of mine that I happened to have a picture of laying around on my computer, which is why I would have just given up if you knew who he was.--Fbi36 22:57, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

Good, in that case we're all go (and you might have royal blood!)! --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 23:02, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

He was a Irish immigrant, so it's bloody unlikely (see wat i did thar?) that I get any royal genes from him. If I do have any royal blood it's from the other side of the family, which evidently came from the same small town in Ireland. And if I don't have any royal blood I'll just have to make my blood royal.--Fbi36 23:13, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

lol, saw what you did, very clever ;) so you're American? Wherabouts? --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 23:25, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

I'm half American trying to get duel citizenship (Canadian/American) And I live in that place where it's always raining (Seattle Washington)--Fbi36 23:44, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

Cool, home of Frasier, right? Englander here--El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 00:05, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

More then just the home of Frasier, home of a great music scene, a lot of other TV shows, and Crap loads of hippies (Not that I mind)--Fbi36 00:46, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Forgive my ignorance, but what was/is the great music scene there? I know Nirvana were from there (more or less), but the Pixies were from Boston, so really, whoever else you may have in your magic hat, you'll never be as good as Boston :p --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 08:44, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Modest Mouse, Pearl Jam, The Fleet Foxes. But the big name bands aren't even the best thing about the Seattle music scene, it's more the indie bands and even KEXP (a independent radio station (You should get there song of the day podcast))On the subject, whats your favorite band? --Fbi36 09:12, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, fair point, it is much better to have a generally awesome music scene than just have the best band in the world and absolutely no-one else (as far as I'm aware, where were Sonic Youth from, NYers right?). Who are the Fleet Foxes btw? KEXP sounds good, where do I listen?--El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 09:16, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Yeah Sonic Youth is from NY. The fleet foxes are a Indie folk band i don't really like them that much. You can listen to kexp by subscribing to there podcast on iTunes or there website at KEXP.org

My favourite band is probably Pixies, but I'm not a fanboy or anything. When they get it right, they get it very right. I also think some of the Elephant 6 stuff is pretty decent. What about you? --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 10:07, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

I like a lot of different kinds of music and bands but I have to say my favorite is Nine Inch Nails, I also like Sublime a lot as well as the Gorillaz.--Fbi36 18:51, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Why did you blank your own article?

It looked like a pretty good one to me. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:37, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

I just put it on hiatus I still have it save as a text file on my computer.--Fbi36 19:43, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, but now nobody can look at it. Do you want it deleted? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:45, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Yeah please I'm going to edit it bit by bit until i feel it's done before i put it back--Fbi36 19:50, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

MrN arranged it for you. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:02, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Thanks

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