User talk:RabbiTechnoArchive11

I saw it first

Me me me! Speedy despoilment has been achieved. --UU - natter 13:01, Apr 1

Two whole minutes. Mediocre, I think you'll agree. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:02, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

Depends what you're talking about. for a pizza delivery, it'd be pretty quick. Besides, this kind of quality can't be rushed. --UU - natter 13:05, Apr 1

It'd be quite impressive in bed too. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:06, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

We talked about that. My can of "stud" delay spray ran out. --UU - natter 13:07, Apr 1

Have you seen that new cake advert where Mrs. Kipling suggests that Mr. Kipling's sexual performance is, ah, not all it could be? FFS - I really don't want to know if Mr. Kipling can keep it up or not. All I care about is whether his cakes taste nice or not. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:11, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1th April 2010 - Always on time

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

Apr 1st, 2010 • Issue 82 • You'd better watch out, you'd better beware: if any news happens, the Signpost will be there

Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 04:47, Apr 2 2010 UTC

The thingy

I brought this idea up again, since it is by far my best one. Welcome if you like, you already know what it is about. -- Style  Guide 07:07, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

I still think it's a good idea, provided you can get people's support. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:56, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Congratulations on your ascension

Now, I read in UnSignpost that you banned me for three months, unbeknownst to me, for crossing you a second time. This occurred hours before you acquired the ban stick, and hours before the start of April Fools' Day, and if the ban was real, it wore off in half an hour. Have I forgotten something? Spıke ¬ 12:15 2-Apr-10

I was somewhat mystified by that, too - in fact, I don't recall ever banning you. I can only assume that someone at the UnSignpost went to the Sun Journalism School and got a degree in making Stuff Up. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:20, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Now, Mordillo did ban me for ten minutes, right after I said on VFS that the only point to voting for me would be for higher-quality messages in the Ban Log. His was in Hebrew. That's news. Spıke ¬ 12:22 2-Apr-10

I can think of less meaningful reasons to vote for someone. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:26, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

In virtual space, you banned all the users for three months! Thanks for the bagel coupon, I've already tried to use it and it worked once and failed once. Some people just don't trust things printed on paper handed to them at random. Fools!! Aleister in Chains 12:35 2 4 mmx

Aah, that explains it. You need to go back into virtual space to use your coupon - had you have read the smallprint, you'd know it's only good for one virtual bagel from a virtual shop. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:38, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

I can't wait to use mine- oh wait, I just used it to protect myself from the Zionism on this page, didn't I?—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 18:05, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why photocopiers were invented. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:07, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

No, photocopiers were invented so Jews could copy money. :)—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:51, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Why would we need to do that? Everyone knows that all Jews are issued with a special identification code that allows us to draw unlimited funds from accounts belonging to gentiles at any bank. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:11, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Ha! :D • FreddThe Metalhedd • • • 11:07 • Saturday, 3-04-2010

Wait, SPIKE wasn't banned for three months; I was! Also I wonder if Aleister actually tried using the coupon. I just came here to tell you I'm thinking about trying it. There's a donut shop nearby where the people are pretty cool and I could try it there. But I'll probably chicken out. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:59, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

/* Thank you */

Thanks for your condolences, from my wife and I both. I'm really touched by the sentiments of my friends here. Cheers. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:42, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Re: Molten steel

No problem. I was reading the "100 Worst April Fools Jokes" article when you left the message on my talk page, so I wasn't sure if the "You have new messages" banner was legit or not. --EMC ^[TALK] 09:32 Apr 3 2010

'Lo

I just noticed that HowTo:Build the Perfect Sandcastle was made the featured HowTo, thanks for that, it's one of the best pieces i've ever written. Just wondering if there was a voting page that I could have a link to, so I can see all the nice things people said. Or was it just because you've run out of good, but not featured, HowTo's. Also were you only just made an admin? I thought you were always one.    Orian57    Talk   20:48 3 April 2010

People don't vote on featured HowTo's- certain people, like the Rabbi, decide. Also, this isn't my talk page. Sorry Rabbi. —Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 22:58, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

I thought so, but there was a time when voting was a thing. none of this dictator ship. Thanks though.    Orian57    Talk   22:59 3 April 2010

God Orian, you're so behind the times. Loser.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:01, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

HOMOPHOBE!!!    Orian57    Talk   23:02 3 April 2010

Behind again, calling people homophobes is so 2009.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:03, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

FUCKING HOMOPHOBE!!! That's like, different.    Orian57    Talk   23:05 3 April 2010

Why the unnecessary "phobe" in your insult?—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:06, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Ooh, a sausage fest!!! --Paizu • Maj. • JStw • MUN • LOB • Crap • WHORE • (Talk) 23:07, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

How dare you! If either of you write another insult, you can just forget about ice cream later!—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:09, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Because you're not gay! Stop trying to steal my thunder. Fucking WANNABE!    Orian57    Talk   23:11 3 April 2010

EC's guys. Not cool.    Orian57    Talk   23:11 3 April 2010

Twice! Somebodies getting castrated in the morning.    Orian57    Talk   23:11 3 April 2010

But I'm not even Jewish! --Paizu • Maj. • JStw • MUN • LOB • Crap • WHORE • (Talk) 23:12, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

How dare you! I am much gayer than you, and can prove it!—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:13, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Bring. It. On.    Orian57    Talk   23:13 3 April 2010

Oh, I'll show you, old timer...where's my male porn...—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:15, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Bring it on! Bring it on! Quickly now Boy!    Orian57    Talk   23:17 3 April 2010

If only Mohammedlickingcock.jpg was still the original, we could base a contest off of that... :(—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:21, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Um, I thought..never mind.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:22, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Oh there's no contest. Dicks grow exponentially with age you know.    Orian57    Talk   23:22 3 April 2010

Um what? I'm tottally lost now.    Orian57    Talk   23:22 3 April 2010

So am I. So, I'm just going to laugh at the fact that you misspelled "totally".—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:25, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Bah! Yungun's and their ridiculous language. Back in my day we learned to spell and type.    Orian57    Talk   23:32 3 April 2010

I would apologize for this conversation on your talk page, but I'm really not sorry.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:54, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Neither am I. In fact I enjoyed two really decent wanks while typing out my half.    Orian57    Talk   23:56 3 April 2010

So long as you wiped my page clean afterwards. Also - no, there's no vote for either HowTo or Why. I believe there used to be, but nobody voted so it became a dictatorship. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance and what have you. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:41, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Sure I cleaned off your page but you may want to get yourself a new yamulka (I know that's spelt wrong but I just can't be bothered looking up the right way to spell it). Also it surely means that at least you liked it enough to give it some more air time. :)    Orian57    Talk   11:12 4 April 2010

There'sa million and one different ways to spell yarmulke, so no matter. It'd probably be easier if we all said kippah instead. Also - yes. I thought it was a decent article. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:16, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Hi, John! How are you doing? • FreddThe Metalhedd • • • 15:29 • Sunday, 4-04-2010

Such a subtle hint! However, it might well work - that could be next week's feature. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:33, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Huh?

I just got back.... and I was reading the unsignpost and I noticed that you are featured for blocking me.... why? — The Rift (grumble) MUN CPT DAD 15:07, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Haha, that was the {{USERNAME}} template. Gets all the noobs. :P --Paizu • Maj. • JStw • MUN • LOB • Crap • WHORE • (Talk) 15:10, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

Yep, was about to say the same thing. It's got me on more than one occasion too. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:12, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Oh... goddammit — The Rift (grumble) MUN CPT DAD 15:16, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

I got tricked by that template on the awards of the decade page, I just never said it. :)—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:40, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

I've seen the {{USERNAME}} template a zillion times, and it still got me because I really was joke banned during that period and Under User had already told me if it happened I'd be listed in that issue. It wasn't until I saw it was for three months that I started wondering.... King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:24, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Anne

Regarding your suggestion that the author QVFD this article (which bounced, because you had placed {{ICU}} on it!), see User talk:Loopygrumpkins#VFD rules. We too had discussed what to do about it. It would be VFD-eligible on Tuesday. Spıke ¬ 17:37 4-Apr-10

Yes, I probably should have mentioned that the ICU would need to be removed prior to QVFDing. Anyway, it's irrelevant now if the article's about a Little Britain character rather than a real person, so no matter. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:03, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

got it in

have you got it in for me? you seem to be removing everything i post with no given reason other then you didn't find it funny... which i can understand but by the same token isn't exactly fair, not everyone has the same sense of humor you know – Preceding unsigned comment added by Avinalaugh (talk • contribs)

Not at all. I've merely deleted those things - such as Rsybytitus - which fail Uncyclopedia's quality standards (I know - I thought the same thing when I heard we had quality standards, too). If you look at your contributions, you'll see that the vast majority of your contributions haven't been huffed or reverted by anybody at all. As for having it in for you, I had to look at your contributions and sift through my own to work out who you are - I revert/huff stuff that in my 4+ years here I've learned doesn't make the grade, I do not hover over a new user's contributions, rubbing my hands as I cackle maniacally and wait to remove every edit they make. Don't take things personally - virtually everybody gets a lot of their early edits reverted and few first articles survive for long. Most of my own were removed within minutes. If you'd planned on developing any of your articles further, I'll be happy to restore them to your own userspace where they can remain untouched until you're happy to release them back into the big, wide world. Otherwise, remember to use the {{construction}} tag on works in progress, which will give them one week during which they won't be deleted, allowing you to finish them. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:01, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

???

Eh? --nldr 18:58, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

It'll make more sense to him, provided he remembers the two pages he created. The first simply said, "constantinos sucks the big black hairy dick and jerks off to cartoon porn," (that was 2 years ago - obviously just finished a ban) whereas the second, created today, - and a true example of genius, I thought, was called eric m and said, "who cares he gay lol." :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:02, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Oh - I presume it's IP area thing, I don't even understand what an IP code is to start with. I was worried that you banned some random IP who could've awakened from his two year slumber to write a fantastic article on 19th century telegraph poles from the cold streets of Greater Manchester, or something along those lines. Carry on. --nldr 19:06, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

What a great idea for an article! I hope to see 10,000 words by first light tomorrow. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:47, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Now that you're an admin

All right, you're an admin now so let me get this right. Ahem. RabbiTechno you are so awesomely awesome in your awesome awesomeness that I'm in awesome awe! Did I do that right? Also I think User:Why do I need to provide this? should get half a feature credit for Why?:Do I need to provide this? as he not only Pee Reviewed it he supplied the inspiration. --A Helpful User who knows there's not a chance in hell of getting half credit but was in a goofy mood but couldn't think of anything to write that was actually funny 19:44, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

I agree, provided whoever else wrote the article does too. If that's the case, I don't think anyone is going to be too worried if you add the feature template to your userpage and add half a point to wherever you keep track of things. You might want to check with 'Dillo, however, as I've never really taken any notice of VFH so I don't really know what goes on with all that. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:57, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, my goof. I realize in retrospect that you wouldn't know what I did or did not do on the article. Honestly, I can't take any credit whatsover for the article; all I did was write a Pee Review. It was Necropaxx' article, not mine. I probably should have posted this on Necropaxx' page, but he like you is too nice of a guy to tell me "Why, go screw yourself." Which I think I'll go do now as it's rather a bit of fun. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:12, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 4/8/10 - Oh hi Signpost.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The periodical without any junk in its trunk!

Apr 8th, 2010 • Issue 83 • News even an Uncyclopedian can understand!

We deliver on our promises By PuppyOnTheRadio As stated in last weeks edition of the USP, VFS is over, and we've run out of material to be able to fill this particular edition. Discussion about what to include in here has been vast and varied. Sockpuppet of an unregistered user suggested we write an article about how it's his birthday today, but how are we going to be able to write an entire article about his birthday? Especially when the bastard hasn't invited us to his party or shared any of his cake with us. Other suggestions included writing the value of π to the first 1,000 digits, or planting drugs on an admin. As none of the regular writers are able to do anything mathematical, and we attempted to plant drugs on an admin, but they mysteriously disappeared before we could discover them, those options were excluded. So instead we have gone back to suggestions for what we were going to do for the April Fool's day issue, where EMC suggested we have an article which simply showed someone being hit in the face with a pie. Working on the assumption that a picture is worth one thousand words, this seems to incorporate elements from most of the ideas we have had so far. If you are interested in helping to pad out contribute fine quality writing to the UnSignpost, or just wanting to bring up items of interest for our intrepid team of editors to report on, drop us a line at the press room and we promise we'll be polite when we ignore it. Spinning some new yarns By UU Another week, another new Uncyclopedia project, it seems. The latest to be launched is the Summit of Spin, which purports to be "an "office" that makes it easier and more organized to collaborate on article serials". It seemingly has no rules, but claims to provide "a series of tools to facilitate writing", which sounds dangerously close to helpful, if you ask us. Intrigued, your ever-alert UnSignpost asked the project's founder, Multiliteralist, for some quotes, preferably lengthy ones for the sake of padding. He responded: "You like the truth, don't you? But you don't like it the way it is now? Join us." Which is all well and good, but doesn't exactly fill this article out anything like enough. Fortunately, he added: "Our door is open for anyone with - in the words of Sir Humphrey Appleby - some moral flexibility." That was slightly more helpful for our purposes. Fortunately, however, he followed that up with: "Early this year, I felt something was missing in the world. That something was money truth - and it was specifically missing in my pockets the world of organised news reporting. Whatever is true in the world - like how wooden wheels are far better than tyres made of rubber and wheels made of metal alloys, or how fluffy bunnies are infinitely useful for all kinds of things - I felt I had to bring these things out for people to see. And you, if you are as greedy as I am love truth as much I do, can join forces with me by working for Summit of Spin for a ridiculously low salary, considering how much you have to lie love of truth! I cannot promise you anything else but prolonged court battles blood, sweat and tears in our constant fight for better-paying clients a more honest world!" And we think that just about sums it up without us having to do too much actual reporting, so we'll leave it here. Why not have a look at the Summit of Spin and get involved?

Check out these pages! Someone wants to be banned Oh dear God, is it still going? World Cup fever starts here From our logs: 14:26, 6 April 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 167.206.233.170 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (anonymous users only, account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) ‎ (ooh, is this a game of "state the bleedin' obvious"? OK: you're a twat. I win!) 15:53, 4 April 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Starsky133 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 seconds ‎ (I have no life and nothing bothers me more than people who don't know the difference between "your" and "you're." :-)) 01:22, 3 April 2010 Zim ulator (Talk | contribs) blocked 123.243.77.178 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Because I said so: Random insertion of the phrase "Monstrous testicles" into an UnNews article is not funny unless you're extrodinarily lucky, and you, my fine douche bag of a fellow human, are not lucky.) Biopic of the Week You'd think that, him having been on the wiki for over 4 years, having written a bunch of featured articles, and recently become an admin, we'd have done a bio on RabbiTechno by now, wouldn't you? Arguably Uncyc's second most notorious Jew (because no-one ever remembers TKF is Jewish), and UotM wayyy back in January '08, the good Rabbi now polices the wiki with his kosher banstick as part of the increasingly Semitic but non-existent Cabal. Old-School Featured Article of the Week I'm a dick. A private dick. That's like a private dancer but with a gun and dances cost extra. That's how we do it in the detective game. It's a game like Clue, but without the cards or the board. Just the dice. And they always come up snake eyes. The name is Gwendolyne. Last name's not important. All you need to know is my friends call me Gwendolyne. My friends are bourbon and ice and I haven't spoken to ice in years. It was a stormy and dark night. Not a dark and stormy night. That's an unrelated story, one that’s got little to do with this narrative. That somber tale has got something to do with Paul Clifford and I'd tell you about it, but the library revoked my card. Something about expositioning too loud last time I was there. Sorta-Comeback of the Week A wild Gerrycheevers appeared! Gerry used April Fool - it's pretty effective! Necropaxx, RabbiTechno, Mordillo and UU used gullibility - it's not very effective! Gerry wins!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:04, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Bathory

It's finished now. Go read it and tell me what you think. • FreddThe Metalhedd • • • 08:59 • Friday, 9-04-2010

At the risk of seeming desperate

Ban me. Only an hour or two is left! --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 22:41, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

Hm, judging from your contribs, you don't edit during these hours. I'll go beg someone else, but I never expected it would be this hard... --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 22:44, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

I have to say that I find this apathy toward banning me disturbing. I had thought people would be lining up to ban me. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 03:36, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

If I were an admin,

Daidle deedle daidle

Daidle daidle deedle daidle dum.

All day long I'd biddy ban Syndrome.

If I were an Unc admin.

User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig7 04:07, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Semi-protect my userpage

I have a feeling my userpage is going to be heavily vandalized by an onslaught of proxy IPs soon, so could you please semi-protect it? —Pelozurian (talk) 06:00, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

Why do they have to be proxies? But don't worry, I'll protect you. --141.149.79.155 06:05, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

I know you will, sweetie. —Pelozurian (talk) 06:11, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

I assume it's OK now? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 07:32, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Un cool people alert!!!

Hi Rabbi, can you take a look at the recent events on Monarchial Republic of Greece Page: April 8, 2010 [1], and again April 11, 2010 [2], seems we have some pretty uncool people on a loose here, on the other hand not all people understand irony and plain ripping off! Cheers Zullu

Looks like a fairly rubbish couple of edits to me - if you want to revert to your previous version of the article I can't see that anyone will mind. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:24, April 12, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you, i worked pretty hard on File:Ancient-modern link.jpg and all the Albert Einstein's time travel theory - Ancient Hellens: Back to the Future story, to see it replaced with "Greeks have invented the western civilisation and brought the light to all those cavemen..." ah ha ha... see y Zullu

I saw your edits when you made them - nice work. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:32, April 12, 2010 (UTC)

and again April 12, 2010 [3]... this is getting lame... greek capital: athens, give me a break... give him credit 4 a while so this douchebag pisses off or what? Zullu

Reverted it back to your version for you, try and discuss it with him on the talk page rather than doing this. Feel free to ask me on my talk page if there are any problems. Hope Rabbi doesn't mind me butting in. --ChiefjusticeWii 19:36, April 13, 2010 (UTC)

'Tis fine - I was away all day yesterday anyway. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:36, April 14, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 15/4/10 - Yet another on time delivery.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Contains Neither News Nor Paper.

Apr 15th, 2010 • Issue 84 • News? Where we're going, we don't need... News...

Something Scary This Way "Comes" By Skinfan13 A recent infestation of glowing dildos has taken over the front page of Uncyclopedia. Many users were shocked on April 11th when they opened up their web browsers and were treated to bright green replicas of EugeneKay's penis. Everywhere. Even poor anti-Semite Mel Gibson couldn't escape the wrath of the glowing dick. And the reason for the Scream in Edvard Munch's famous painting was revealed - turns out to have been caused by a hoard of giant glowing EugeneKay penises - an understandable reaction. When asked to comment on the matter, users simply refused to acknowledge that they had seen the penises at all. "Well, I for one didn't notice anything. Glowing penii are so common around here that these particular examples of illuminated manhood really didn't make an impression..." said Aleister in Chains. HELPME had a different outlook on the whole matter: "of course I noticed, how couldn't I? They were everywhere!" he exclusively told our intrepid reporter. Random internet traffic took notice of the infestation as well, with 127.0.0.1 commenting" "Ballsack!!!11 alolololololololooll pasfsdkjfhaelkfjds PENIS PENIS PENIS." He was promptly banned. The infestation passed almost as quickly as it came and a sense of normalcy returned to the main page when the penises retreated into the dark and abysmal graveyard of unused image files. By April 13th, all traces of the Great Penis Invasion of April 11-13 2010 (as it is now being called) were gone. There are, however, unconfirmed reports that the menace still lingers close to the main page, just waiting to strike again soon. I See IC All At Sea By UU It has come to the attention of our ever-vigilant reporters (largely because Why? has been bugging us to write a story about it) that Why? has decided to stand down as Admiral of Imperial Colonization, the organisation that somewhat amusingly styles itself after British Imperialism, but uses American spelling. We didn't need to ask the outgoing Admiral for a comment, as he was falling over himself to give us plenty, so we randomly selected the following: "I'm anal for accuracy", he told us. Among other things. Anyway, if you want to follow in Why?'s footsteps, and those of his illustrious predecessors in charge of the Colonization project, you can sign up to be considered for the post here. If it helps, you may wear a nice hat (please provide your own hat).

Check out these pages! The seed of a good idea It's a surprise, it says so in the name... Tell Uncle Dex everything. Everything... From our logs: 17:54, 14 April 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.185.215.1 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (On the charge of flagrant asshattery while in posession of an internet connection, I find you incredibly guilty) 20:05, 13 April 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I never gave you an inaugural joke ban? I blame you.) 23:03, 12 April 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 173.55.13.71 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (And the LORD said unto me: "Go ye, and smite the page blankers; they are as shit upon My heavenly sandal") 14:44, 11 April 2010 ChiefjusticeDS blocked 79.73.5.86 with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (You sound clever, and therefore I am blocking you to ensure that your talents are not wasted on us.) 21:19, 11 April 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked EugeneKay (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a random ban time ‎ (chose your own adventure) Biopic of the Week Continuing our glorious occasional tradition of bio-ing people who haven't contributed for months and half the newer members of the wiki will never have heard of, let's have a look at Andorin Kato. An Uncyc stalwart since 2006, Andorin was voting on VFD, QVFDing stuff and writing good articles when most of today's active users were in short trousers (they're still in short trousers, of course, but it's been a while). In true on-the-ball Uncyc fashion, this hard work was recognised when Andorin was made UotM in November 2009. He was less than thrilled. The nostalgic return of Cajek Ban of the Week 11:39, 14 April 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (About time I did this. It's been a good two weeks and I haven't done yet.)

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--ChiefjusticeWii 20:34, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks!

I was wondering if anyone thought anything I write is funny. Though the faceplant article is the only one I really feel confident about, since my other three were just random shit. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Ethan9 (talk • contribs)

It's good stuff - anyone into MTB or BMX will get it, as I imagine skaters will too, but as you've not used arcane MTB/BMX terms people who aren't into that sort of stuff will get it too. One thing you might consider adding is "What to do after you've performed a perfect faceplant" - with something about collecting your teeth from the dirt and trying to bleed as much as possible to earn the adoration of the crowd. You could possibly do a "World Faceplant Championships" section too. Just ideas - no need to use them if they don't appeal to you. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:55, April 22, 2010 (UTC)

Theological Discussions with the Rabbi

You are wrong, God sees all things and is offended by them - do not be fooled by the scientists of this world and their heathen ways, our God is an angry God and he shall have His day.. until that day I am but his humble servant --God-Is-Cool 19:02, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

Your God might be angry, but mine is a pretty chilled out sort of bloke. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:03, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

then you are obviously a heathen - or some sort of atheist --God-Is-Cool 19:04, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

Note the word "rabbi" in my name. ;-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:05, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

..I was hoping that was merely some sort of joke, for your mortal soul I do humbly pray forgiveness from the true God - at any rate I shall continue.. I have heard God's voice, he has told me the way, he did say "go forth and convert the wicked" - so that is what I shall do.. pray someday the great Lord shall have the mercy and wisdom to speak with you too --God-Is-Cool 19:07, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

I'd pray for your own salvation, but since doing so would necessitate your conversion to Judiasm and we don't got in for proselytising, I can't. On the other hand, since God is infinite in his capacity to forgive, I'm sure you're going to be fine. Do be aware, however, that Uncyclopedia admins are the exact opposite - in fact, they've been known to be vindictive sods at time, so don't blank any more pages, eh? :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:12, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

God is infinite in all aspect but not forgiveness - I shall not insult you though for doing so would make me stupid.. all I shall say is this: God hates certain things, he does not forgive all things.. remember that if anything, He told me so himself --God-Is-Cool 19:14, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

I dunno, I think the Rabbi will win this, as he's a sexy and cool admin. God is just cool, not sexy.--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 19:17, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, I am rather cool and sexy, aren't I? Thanks for reminding me. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:31, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

blasphemy is a sin - a terrible curse upon the current world in which we live: how sad it is that we children of God so often take pride in insulting the very being that gave us the ability to walk, talk and evolve --God-Is-Cool 19:18, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

As an atheist, I can say that Nobody cares. Also, when responding to something someone says, use a colon to indent it.

Like this.

And this.

Oh yeah, and this.--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 19:20, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

Atheist scum, may the Lord burn your disease from the face of His planet --God-Is-Cool 19:21, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

I'm actually really excited about hell and eternal damnation, I hear Elvis is doing it. Also, here on Uncyc the admins are the highest power, bow down and repent or I shall roast thee with my eternal fires. --ChiefjusticeWii 19:23, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

I bet God knows how to indent properly /me folds my arms--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 19:25, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

the idiocy of you heathens disgusts me--God-Is-Cool 19:26, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

That dress disgusts me. You cannot wear that with those shoes, baby.--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 19:27, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

Now, if you lot would STOP EDIT CONFLICTING ME ON MY OWN TALKPAGE... ( :-) )...shit. I've forgotten what I was going to say. I do wonder if Helpme would blaspheme less had he have said "God is proper fit and I'd like to give Him a good seeing to" instead. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:31, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

That just made me horny. It was supposed to, right?--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 19:32, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

I know how to press your buttons, bitch. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:33, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

Now, I'm off to have dinner. I'm sure the Chief will be more than happy to put his banhammer to use if it becomes necessary. Shabbat shalom, chaps. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:35, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

And LO! Mightily did Chief swing his blessed banhammer, afore Rabbi Techno even noticed, and thus did He slay the god-botherer. See you tomorrow. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:37, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

God said "go forth and convert the wicked"! That's wicked, not wiki! God didn't tell you to go forth and covert the wiki! Spıke ¬ 20:54 23-Apr-10

"Going forth and converting the wiki" might make the basis of an amusing article, actually - new Bible contains a typo, people with the ability to believe but not think for themselves (ie; 99% of all religious people) take it seriously and so on. Hmm... Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:05, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

Lo Rabbi

Are you in the London area on the 4th of May? I'm hoping to get a pint with my favorite Britishers. Codeine seems to be OK with the date, how is you? ~ 06:29, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

Hard to say at present as I have cash flow problems, but I'll try to get something sorted out. Olipro (and possibly Severian) are going to be in London a few days later, I believe around the 6th/7th, so it could be worth talking to him to see if you can make visits overlap - he's been talking about going to a famous bagel shop that recently reopened and is reputed to sell the best salt beef bagels in Europe and wants to go to the Cheshire Cheese, one of London's oldest pubs which when I last went there about ten years back had a damn fine selection of rare single malts. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 06:40, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

Is it this one? What's the easiest way to get there from Euston station? If I can convince you to come over, first round on me. Maybe the 2nd and 3rd as well, depending on how tired I'll be. Which is much. I don't think I remember what sleeping is like anymore :) ~ 21:19, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks!

Thanks...I feel I'm making progress on that article. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Lifelonghate (talk • contribs)

Good - it looks like you are too, so it'll be great to see it finished. Nice to find a new user who takes the advice offered by a tag instead of getting all uppity that someone had the temerity to add anything tot heir article too. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 06:42, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

""Thanks"

I feel as if i'm making slight progress...being able to remove the dead end tag is an honour only bested by being able to tell you how good it is to be able to remove the dead end tag.--Lifelonghate 17:39, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

..ok, I was unaware that an unsigned message still indicates who signed it. The exact same message was resent so you could know who it was from. Not cause I'm weird. Or because I like company. Or because my keyboard feels good. But anyways, don't want you to think I'm a mindless twerp who yearns for praise. Ciao!--Lifelonghate 17:43, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

It doesn't - however, User:Paizuri added the {{unsigned|Lifelonghate}} template after your message, creating the "this unsigned message..." thing you can see. Magic! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:05, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1 May

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost: Special Weekend edition

Because Uncyclopedia is no laughing matter.

April 22nd 1st May, 2010 • Issue 85 • Insert penis joke here

The launch of a new and exciting weekend edition. Maybe. By PuppyOnTheRadio "Where is my signpost?" was the cry heard from the world wide masses this week. "There should have been an issue on the 22nd and on the 29th, and nothing seems to have been done about it." Fear not, gentle reader, for the signpost will not go gentle into the good night. We have instead taken a brief hiatus for no reason that we could conceivably come up with, and now we are back in a blaze of glory. For those who are unaware of our proud history, the next issue, coming out this Thursday, will mark the (roughly) 2 year anniversary of the creation of the UnSignpost, the unperiodic periodical started by Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek. The good doctor, at the time of the first issue, was asked what his feelings were towards creating the first formalised forum for spam within Uncyclopedia. It was from this that we now have the immortal words "Those assholes better appreciate this. They'd BETTER." Now, two years on from those words of wit and wisdom, the UnSignpost is still struggling going strong. There have been varied reports as to why the USP has not been released. One suggestion is that regular contributors just "couldn't be bothered writing." Others have suggested that it comes down to the unwillingness of the head editor, who was recently heard to say "I'm so against... this... again... (E)xistence is far more than (it) deserves." One of the more probable reasons for the lack of issues may be that the news has now gone viral, and is available more readily through facebook then it has been previously. One facebook semi-regular, who bears a remarkable resemblance to a Silent Bob inaction figure, has said of this development "Excuse me, but I think your geek is showing." Dexter111344 supported the move to the social networking site by saying "I won't be joining as I don't intend to ever make a Facebook." Another possibility is the number of users now communicating via UnSkypelopedia. When asked for a comment, EMC said "OH FUCKING CHRIST I'VE CUM" Dr.Skullthumper, however, said "I started both of them.", and then wished to make reference to some forum or something. Ethine, however, was somewhat more constructive, informing this reporter that "Since it's getting close to summer, we'll likely have more calls, as most people's schedules are slowing down. As well as calls, we have the neat little chat thing at the bottom, where everyone sexually harasses each other when calls aren't going." Despite several attempts, I still haven't been sexually harassed. One reason why users have not been as distracted recently is due to the enormous amount of work going on at PEE review. At present there are articles waiting for review which have been there for over three weeks. For all those who are looking to get the review process back and alive, please pick up an article for review today. Your time and investment into this proud tradition can create the next great article, like the recently featured A wizard did it or the recently nominated UnNews:Windows 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 came out, hailed by some as "the most profound and groundbreaking article to hit Uncyclopedia in over 50 years" Another reason why many users may be distracted is the number of collaborations that are currently in progress. Of those there is Tim Burton, being cleaned up by the team at ΥΣΣ, lead by the fantastic Skinfan13. Also starting to make some ground in the spread of reliable information is the team at Multiliteralist/Summit of Spin, lead by the wonderful Multiliteralist. And of course, coming out blinking from seeing the light of Discordianism is the ever faithful Imperial colonization, lead by everyone's favourite canine, RDB PuppyOnTheRadio. And of course, another reason might simply be that the team here at USP are all running around arranging bake sales to assist with Poo Lit Surprise, the bi-annual competition that actually gives prizes to the winners. The most likely explanation, however, is that nothing newsworthy ever happens on Uncyclopedia

Check out these pages! UnNews:Windows 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 came out Looks who's out of the closet. The most profound and groundbreaking article to hit Uncyclopedia in over 50 years From our logs: Flammable blocked 86.171.18.85 with an expiry time of infinite ‎(YOU ARE SO COOL SO COOL AWESOME LOL) ChiefjusticeDS blocked 91.195.183.211 with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(Ah, that may be true, but you are a wanker, so it evens out) Olipro blocked 92.4.117.223 with an expiry time of infinite (YOU EVER BEEN FUCKED IN THE ARSE WHILE WATCHING A YANKEES GAME?) Mordillo blocked 217.28.207.226 with an expiry time of 1 week (time's up! you need to go to the toilet to do some poopy!) RabbiTechno blocked 91.195.183.213 with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(Cyberbullying. Matthew R. would like to point out that while he may be gay, you are banned) Olipro blocked YOUR TOO SLOW! with an expiry time of infinite ‎(your spelling is shit, it's spelt "YOU'RE" ... so that means you're a fucking retard) ChiefjusticeDS blocked God-Is-Cool with an expiry time of 40 days ‎(Blessed be the Uncyclopedia admins for they shall lead us to the promised land, also bye bye!) Mordillo blocked God-Is-Cool with an expiry time of 40 years (It took them 40 years not 40 days you bloody heathen) Biopic of the Week What can anyone say about Maniac1075. There are rumours that he is not an individual, but rather a multinational conglomerate of authors who do nothing but write quality articles on an extremely high rate. Or at least on an extreme high. However you look at it his contributions to date have been fast and furious. There is definitely something odd with him at least. If nothing else, he has a scarily in-depth knowledge of the world of professional wrestling. In fact he has been nominated as both Writer of the month and Potatochopper of the month. There is a particular school of though that says that these fields here should be filled in with any old garbage in order to ensure that both the left and the right hand sides of the USP are of the same length. While we appreciate this sentiment, the truth is that the USP is known to be constantly at bursting point with information that we can't fit into one column, and so this right hand column is essential for the stuff that we can't fit elsewhere. SCROTUM The above section is not a prime example of the statement in the section above. Please feel free to ignore it.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Brought to you by fucking magic. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:49, 1 May 2010

Bathory

April Top 3. Pants. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 11:33, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

UN Spamming

I hate to seem like a flyboy, but a handfull of users have been spamming multiple pages with my user name, I wouldn't mind it if they were just using it once or twice, but these guys are putting it 5-10 times in each paragraph. One of the pages was; HowTo:Be Eaten. I won't lie either, when you check the history you'll see that I was alarmed and franticaly trying to get my UN off, and within 48 hours I've fround more pages with my UN slobberd all over the place. Btw on some of the pages, the edits are by an IP addres, but on the page Anger there is actually a username in the history section. Like I said, If it was just one or two times here and there, I would't be taking action. but I see extreme resent in the way they're throwing my name around. I really hope this isn't going to be a burden on the Admin, or piss you guys off. But I feel uncomfortable with it being used like that. --Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 23:50, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

It's just the {{USERNAME}} template. It's a template that shows the username of whoever's looking at it. When I read the page, it shows Paizuri. Nothing to be alarmed about. —Pelozurian (talk) 23:53, 2 May 2010 (UTC)

Hee hee hee Aleister in Chains 23:59 2 5

Sighs, ohhhhh, thats a rele. I worked with radar and sonar, once you do that, you're pretty much F'ed over at simple tasks. Thanks, no REALLY, thanks. My apologies for ruthlesly edting How to be Eaten. I'll revert all the garbage I put in it's place.

--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 00:14, May 3, 2010 (UTC)

I rolled back your edits, so you don't have to do a massive amount of undoing. —Pelozurian (talk) 00:41, 3 May 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, I'm Ex Servenyeian Spec. Forces (CCCP). In my service days if you saw any of your ID forms slobbered all over the f'ing place, It ussualy meant you were about to be unfairly court martialed and then FUCKED UP. so I kinda freaked out and lost it there. its part of the PTS thing. Otherwise I might not have thought anything of it.

--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 01:09, May 3, 2010 (UTC)

Firstly, apologies for not having been around to help - but I see Paizuri and Aleister were on hand and have performed the task admirably. Secondly, don't worry or feel too stupid - most of us have been caught out by the dreaded username template at some point. Several times, in my case. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:08, May 4, 2010 (UTC)

David Miliband

I think this has stalled. Did you want to do the honours? Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 21:21, May 4 2010 UTC

Looks like you're right. Unleash the huff monsters! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:52, May 5, 2010 (UTC)

English Beer

Thanks for the redirects, I didn't even know Real Ale existed. Appreciated. Since I'm here, do you or does anyone else know what happened to MadMax? Is he alright, just taking a break? Al des chain 16:21 11 5 MMX

No probs, glad to be of service and all that. Now you mention it, I vaguely remember MadMax saying something about taking a break - best to do so once in a while, I find, because Uncyclopedia can have serious negative effects on the old mental balance. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:24, May 11, 2010 (UTC)

Good, I had hoped so. Breaks are good, yes. I just looked at Real Ale, and had no idea it was here. Seems to be some overlap, although I'll go back and read it closer, and will let HELPME know it is around as well (see his talk page for the mentions of Warm piss water). DrStrange also left for awhile, and I confirmed he's alive and playing frisbee tag. Al sans chains 16:30 11 5 MMX

Wrote it a while ago now. Possibly a bit of tl;dr article for many people. I wouldn't worry about overlap, Uncyc's easily big enough for that not to be a problem these days (which is good, of course, since it means we don't have to put so much effort into being original). Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:40, May 11, 2010 (UTC)

Warm piss water was a VFD save, I worked on it just enough to save it, and then HELPME gave an offhand challenge about me getting it featured, and I told him I'd work on it until he featured it or said it was of quality. That's where it stands now, and I've been working on it to irk HELPME (and if it's turning into a good page that's a side-benefit). I won't read yours until after that point, to not spork, but please read it and if you see any outright overlap please let me know. I've added yours to see also and also a high on the page link. Thanks, Al des chains 16:50 11 5 mmx

I read it quickly whilst attempting to sort out the serpentine chaos of cables that lives behind the television ('cos we got a new DVD player) - ever tried doing that with two ferrets "helping" you? - but it looks like you did a good job; I even laughed once or twice and I'm a miserable bastard. Although there's some overlap, there's an insufficient amount to leave you open to accusations of plagiarism - and anyway, if anyone says you copied it I'll disagree and say you'd not seen Real Ale until now. Banhammers are an excellent way of persuading people to believe you, I find. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:58, May 11, 2010 (UTC)

One more question as you fight the ferrets for control of the cables (just don't let them have the remote when you've finished). Does your page have mention anything about beer awards or the Olympics? That's the only other section and mention I was going to add. Thanks again, Al sans chains 17:04 standard Ferret time 11 5 MMX

You and the IP's that brung ya. Al des chains 21:42 11 5 MMX

Nope, you're all clear on those. Though it does now occur to me that I could have had a "Best Beer Awards" section...oh well. Too late now. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:08, May 11, 2010 (UTC)

Because I gave the challenge to make it better, if it gets featured, I DESERVE half credit. SIR Arrogant Prick [worship me]

What did you huff Gattaca for?

What did you huff Gattaca for? It's almost as if you take this seriously. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 124.197.10.135 (talk • contribs)

Because, despite being three and a half hours old, it was two lines long. That's more than enough to make an "article" a candidate for deletion if it doesn't have a {{construction}} tag on it. Also, yes: I do take this seriously. After more than four years of writing articles and editing this site, I've come to care about it and I take maintaining it and trying to improve quality very seriously - all admins do, despite the fact that we act like four-year-olds most of the time. However, that's actually in your favour because provided you're going to work on it and develop it into a proper article, you can have a copy of Gattaca back - but you'll need to sign up for an Uncyclopedia account first, so I can restore it to your userspace. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 07:36, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

Hey rabbi

The blood countess is at risk of being raped by a prancing wizard. Divine intervention is needed at the Top 10/April page. Thankyewverymuch. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 06:54, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

This

Is brilliant. --ChiefjusticeWii 12:11, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

I thought so - can't claim to have thought it up myself though, as it apparently appeared on a wall in Haifa and came to me via the internets! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:39, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Quick Question for you

A trade publication is writing a story about how user-generated articles are becoming more valuable than paid-for articles, and they wanted to know if we had any users who might be interested in talking to them about their experiences with Wikia. Is this something you would be interested in doing? If so could you please email me at sena at wiki-inc.com. I'll need your Name, Email, Phone number and geographic location. Thanks for your time, and please let me know either way. Sena<staff /> 16:56, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

a quick note from our PR person,

1) Wikia won't give personal contact info to a reporter. I can arrange an interview where we use a dial in number and everyone dials into the call. We do need their real name and most likely the city/state where they live. They may be asked their profession, but that can be vague ("I'm in finance." "I'm in education." etc..) 2) The interview will focus on why they like using Wikia sites and what motivates them, keeps them engaged, etc. 3) From a time investment standpoint, the call with me will be about 30 minutes, and the call with the reporter will take 15-20 minutes. 4) I will be on the call with the reporter and can "shield" them if needed. That said, I've worked with this reporter before, and find him to be professional and above board, and don't expect any probing questions. Plus, he's very positive about Wikia.

If this is OK with them, I can then spend time discussing the details of the interview via phone.

let me know if this is something you could help with. Sena<staff /> 18:49, May 18, 2010 (UTC)

Jet Lag

Hi Rabbi! I was surprised and encouraged to find HowTo:Beat jet lag featured on the how to page. I'm stoked! And wanted to mention about the "(more...)" link goes to another article. I'm not sure if that's correct. Cheers!--Funnybony    19:02, May 22

Fixed. --ChiefjusticeWii 19:09, May 22, 2010 (UTC)

Dude! Hanging around you experts is most beneficial and a genuine privilege, I'm happy to say. Thanks & cheers!--Funnybony    19:33, May 22

It was surprising and encouraging for me to find something featurable - it seems to get trickier every week (though not as much as with Why? since hardly anyone ever writes Why?s). Thanks for sorting out the link, Chief, I pretty much always forget to change that bit but usually remember a few minutes later. Not this time, though. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:24, May 23, 2010 (UTC)

Reasons not to be a devout Christian

Hey, I just noticed that you've taken over the re-write tag for that article, which is fair enough cause I know ive not written on it for a while, but I'll probably start again fairly soon if thats ok with you. If not just drop me a message on my talk page and i'll lay off. --DougalJabber at me. 13:39, May 25, 2010 (UTC)

That tag just links to whoever the last person to edit the page happened to be - currently, me. So, in other words, I have no interest in the article and would be eminently unqualified to rewrite it anyway - it's all yours. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:43, May 25, 2010 (UTC)

Lo

Are you free to have a little IRC later on today or during the weekend? ~ 15:06, May 27, 2010 (UTC)

Any time - including right now, if you want. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:18, May 27, 2010 (UTC)

Right now at work, it will probably be pretty late today. I'll just pop over to see if you're around. ~ 15:27, May 27, 2010 (UTC)

Probably on for another two hours or so, also all day tomorrow and possibly Saturday too. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:28, May 27, 2010 (UTC)

--Ohnogodnotagain 20:44, May 29, 2010 (UTC)\Hi!! Noob. I know. I had a welcome message from ethine, who told me to use the signature and time stamp when I do stuff. Should I click on it before I edit anything? And do I reply/message by pressing the + button?, and should the replies to me be in my 'my talk', cos there's never anything in there. I really don't know wtf Im doing, you know. Please Please help, and don't scare me too much!!

OK, here is the thing, sign after your messages, just look at what we all do. To reply just go to the section and click where it says edit and add your reply underneath, use the preview button to make sure you have done it right. If someone leaves you a message it is up to you where you respond, most users respond where the message was left, if you are really concerned the person won't see it then leave the message on their page. Replies to other people should also be left in the same place as the comment you are replying too. I hope this helps. --ChiefjusticeWii 21:27, May 29, 2010 (UTC)

Helps a lot, many many thanks. (I've cast the runes to erase 'British Big Cats' from your memory, and am working on another article, for which I apologise in advance). --Ohnogodnotagain 07:52, May 30, 2010 (UTC)

Seems the Chief was on hand and has answered your queries. One bit of advice I'd like to add: when in the forest, never never stray from the path - there are elves. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:01, May 30, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, the Chief has had to deal with me twice now, and I'm pretending the Chief is my friend. I am fully aware that I embark on a dangerous venture and shall bear the the scars for my folly; but into the deep, dark forest - go I must. --Ohnogodnotagain 13:30, May 30, 2010 (UTC)

Uncool people alert 2, the comeback!

Where if not on the Monarchial Republic of Greece national page?

[4] [5] [6] all the detalies here: [7]

Summary: Some people have missed the point of uncyclopedia or are just plain lame borring, probably both.

Examples:

• Capital of Greece: Athens
• Official languages: Greek
• National Hero(es): Alexander the Greek
• Major exports: Culture

(the rest of the lame edits is in the current warring revert version)

Are we on wikipedia? Has someone changed uncyclopedia for wikipedia?

Can you take a look plz.. thanks Zullu 11:05, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

• While I'm inclined to prefer your edits, Ptolemy is likely to have his or her own reasons for reverting them. Rather than allow this to become an issue - which most things tend to when admins get involved - I'd suggest you talk to him/her on his/her talkpage and see if you can come to some conclusion. If not, it might be worth starting a forum page on the Village Dump to find out which version the community prefers. An admin arguing for democracy, eh? Who'd have ever thought that could happen? :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:50, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

The Platinum Apostrophe

I literally loled when I saw this. I just had a hard, tiring workday, so thanks for giving me something to laugh about. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:28, June 7, 2010 (UTC)

You've joined an elite group - not many people have been awarded that one! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:28, June 7, 2010 (UTC)

Why did you huff my article?

Hi why did you just "huff" the Fanboy And Chum Chum article? What does that even mean? ~Yojunemeow

Pick any one of the following answers.

• Two reasons - one, an article on the same subject was huffed a few days ago and two, it didn't seem to be Uncyclopedia material. However, if you'd like a copy back I'm more than happy to provide you with one in your userspace where you can work on it for as long as you wish without it getting huffed or hacked to bits by other users.
• I'm an admin and all admins are bastards.

:-)Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:22, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

Yes I would like a copy back, this time I will work harder, and put random celebs and characters as the voices like on other cartoons.--Yojunemeow 16:34, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

That's what we like to hear. You can find the article here. When you're done, either copy and paste it into a newly created mainspace page and add the userpage to QVFD, use the move function or ask someone for assistance. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:50, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

Okay, what do you think so far?--Yojunemeow 17:48, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

It's definitely looking better than it was, but at the moment it's more or less a list and lists tend to get deleted very quickly. I find it helps to add images - either images you've made or stuff you find online - as this tends to give you ideas for things to write about. I've never seen the show so I have no idea what it's all about, but a section outlining what happens in an episode might be good as it'll give you opportunity to satirise the concept. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:08, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

Do you mean a real episode? And how do I put images? (I tried.) As long as it does not include uploading them to my computer I should be able to do it.--Yojunemeow 12:44, June 9, 2010 (UTC)

Either a real one or a fictitious one - the choice is yours. Adding images is a lot easier if you download them onto your computer first and then upload to the Uncyclopedia server. You can delete them from your machine immediately afterwards, so there's no need to worry about hard drive space. Add them into the article with this: [[File:IMAGENAMEHERE.jpg|thumb|200px|CAPTION HERE]]. If you change the 200px you can make them larger or smaller and if you add left| after thumb| the image will appear on the left. Also, if that doesn't work, let me or any other regular know and we'll show you. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:28, June 10, 2010 (UTC)

Something about something, or something

well, yes i do need help i'm pretty new to uncyclopedia (as writwer). And i'm dutch which causes me to not grasp things as good as everybody else. So yeah i'd like help.

No problems - we do try to be helpful and friendly to any new users who are willing to ask for assistance :-). Is it the Chaos article you want to rewrite? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:16, June 11, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, seeing that at first it was about flying vagina's I thought i can do better. (and you knew how about me wanting to change chaos?) And yes i already changed the first bit. Do you like?--Gingerbreadlord 15:23, June 11, 2010 (UTC)

Rabbinical powers...actually, I just looked at your contributions and saw you'd made a change to the article already (also yes, your alteration seems fine to me) ;-). If you click this link, it'll give you the option to create the userspace page - just edit it as you would a normal Uncyclopedia page. Let me know if you want it proofread for spellings and so on. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:28, June 11, 2010 (UTC)

That thing you wrote to Mhaille?

Didn't exactly came out like you wanted it to. Something about a dick, a hippy and a goy?! ~ 16:46, June 11, 2010 (UTC)

I had a feeling it wouldn't, and it's yet another lesson to me that I really ought to learn to speak, read and write Hebrew properly instead of using online translators. It was supposed to say, "stick your hippy language up your arse." Interesting that the translator should render "arse" as "goy" though. Come to think of it, A Dick, A Hippy and a Goy would make an excellent name for a band. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:59, June 11, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, and Shabbat shalom by the way. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:00, June 11, 2010 (UTC)

Looked at it again and said: "stick language hippy yours ass yours goy!". Interesting. And a gitte shabas! ~ 20:35, June 11, 2010 (UTC)

That's more or less the right words at least. So long as you were able to speak Hebrew and were good at solving cryptic crosswords, you'be able to make sense of it eventually. Anyway, it's a pity you can't smell my cholent which has been in the oven since 6 yesterday evening - if the scent is anything to go by, it's going to be a good one. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:45, June 12, 2010 (UTC)

RabbiTechnoFacts

“What martial arts did RabbiTechno study? I'll tell you what, pal, RabbiTechno can stick Martial Arts, and his deputy, up Jet Li's ass!”

~ Funnybony on RabbiTechno

• In fact: If Jesus Christ were to not hit his thumb with a hammer he would shout, "RabbiTechno!" Cheers!!!--Funnybony    08:39, Jun 20

Have you been eating wild mushrooms without checking them in the guidebook again...? )Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:55, June 20, 2010 (UTC)

How did you know? Those Anita Mascara 'shrooms is kickin' my fancy kaleidoscopic arse, and there's no turning back..YAAAAA...

• RabbiTechno has a computer program, which can accurately answer: Maybe or Perhaps.
• Never tell RabbiTechno, “Go fuck yourself!” Penalty: Boredom.
• Who was the first person to reach the summit of RabbiTechno?
• RabbiTechno is only a Rabbi because God was taken.
• Once RabbiTechno stops being your enemy, he never starts.
• A Punji Stick never once stepped on RabbiTechno.
• RabbiTechno is the brain-child of Uncyclopedia.
• RabbiTechno would accept your article if not for the article.
• RabbiTechno has the hots. Period.
• As Admins go, RabbiTechno comes.
• If you are able to read this thank RabbiTechno.

The Rabbi-Techno One-verse Blues (To the tune of Bad to the Bone)
On the day he was born, the nurses all gathered 'round
And they gazed in wide wonder, at the joy they had found
The head nurse spoke up, and she said let this one go
She could tell right away, that he was Rabbi-Techno,
Rabbi-Techno
R-R-R-R-Rabbi
Rabbi-Techno!
Cheers!--Funnybony    15:04, Jun 20

The UnSignpost Is Not Dead!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Contains Neither News Nor Paper.

Jun 24th, 2010 • Issue 86 • Oh yeah, the UnSignpost, I remember that...

Conservation Week Approaches By UU Fancy watering Uncyclopedia's forestry? Want to be a good conservationist? Fancy taking up the rewriting sword of justice, and righteously smiting the dragon of shit writing? Actually, the hell with that, do you want to take a bunch of bad articles, and make them suck less? Then you, my friend, are in luck! Conservation Week 2010 starts on July 5th, and actively encourages users to scour the wiki (perhaps through judicious use of Special:Random, or possibly through exploration of Category:Rewrite or Category:Ideas or even Special:Lonelypages), find lame articles that they consider are taking up the very space which could be occupied by something less sucky, and then using their skill and judgement to turn those articles into shining examples of comedic writing. As this is a competition dedicated to simultaneously reducing the number of useless articles on the wiki and increasing the number of good ones, some naysayers believe it to be completely pointless - Uncyclopedia is the worst, they say, and no amount of well-intentioned competitions can change that. But were it to exist, the Cabal would probably beg to differ. They may call it something like "a genuinely good thing", and "a ray of hope, signalling that occasionally, even the most worthless dreck may be redeemed". So if you think what your userpage is missing is a template called the "Greasy Mechanic Award", then prepare to rewrite like you've never re-written before. Just don't forget to make your new version better than the original. Something summarizing the events of the last month or so By PuppyOnTheRadio It has been said by one of our esteemed administrators here at UnSignpost that if it wasn't reported in the UnSignpost, then it didn't happen. As there has been no UnSignpost produced for the last few days, due to one of the editors having a real life, and another one being lazy, there are several things that didn't happen. Yes, the loss of the UnSignpost for so long sent a shiver down the spines of many an Uncyclopedian. So much so that one member of the community decided that it was timely to look at a new way to produce the UnSignpost. One such idea was to release a monthly periodical in the place of USP. Although there has been several attempts by this reporter to obtain a quote from said insurrectional community member, to date no response has been heard. As part of the ongoing struggle to maintain our independent stance from Wikia, several members decided that it would be a wise idea to create a way to cash in on the popularity of the site. As such the UnShoppe has been created, where you may purchase any one of a number of Uncyclopedia-related pieces of merchandise. So far all purchases have been made by the individuals who created the store. However, if you are looking for the place to buy a shirt that shows that your nipples have been featured, that a wizard did something, whatever it was, and that you have an in-depth knowledge of who Dan Kwon is. There was a competition. Congratulations go to mrthejazz, who got the pun. Imperial Colonisation has taken a brief hiatus after the new head of IC became the old head of IC. He was an Australian, and his example has inspired the entire nation so much that the new head of Parliament for the country is now the old head of parliament. Congratulations go out to the new new head of IC. A strange bandwagon has been created by a drunken Bonner, who has challenged all and sundry to ask him anything at all. As such there are various forums dedicated to asking regular Uncyclopedian members things. These previously were known as user talk pages, but who can stand in the way of progress? And that's all that didn't happen. Although now it's listed in UnSignpost that means it actually did happen. Which suggests that by editing UnSignpost I have the power to change the past. If I could change anything about the past, what would it be? I had sex with a real person!

Check out these pages! Modusoperandipedia? Fuck... Uncle Dex needs ideas for business cards Wait, we seriously have a store now?! From our logs: 06:22, 23 June 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 153.107.33.152 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (and you are the living proof that school kids are idiots) 00:12, 23 June 2010 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked LRC (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (The purpose of redirects is to redirect someone to a page that is related to the original page, not separated by six degrees of bullshit logic. Try again.) 09:52, 21 June 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 153.107.33.158 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Back after your last block and still loving the penis, have a bit longer to think about that) 15:02, June 17, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 243 seconds (I hear the UnSignpost may be returning, so I'd better make sure I put up at least one decent ban this week so I can get in it!) 05:38, June 17, 2010 PantsMacKenzie (Talk | contribs) blocked 76.109.125.137 (Talk) with an expiry time of a million years ‎ (multiple vandalizations of keitei) Old-School Featured Article of the Week UnMysteries:J'accuse Thank you all for meeting me in the Accusing Parlor tonight. If you're wondering what "j'accuse" means, and why I ran screaming it through the whole house, it means "I accuse" in French, and it's what people say when they accuse people of murder. I trust you know why we're all here. After I was mysteriously invited to this party, and after people started mysteriously dying, I decided to put my internet degrees in Criminology, and Criminography, to good use. But to accuse people of homicide, I have to start at the beginning. International Sporting Tournament of the Week The Swedish Orienteering And Firing A Rat From A Cannon Championships. The World Cup? What's that? Missed anniversary of the week Some time in the last month or so, the UnSignpost completely failed to celebrate its second anniversary. Hey ho. Two years of missed deadlines, desperate filler boxes, flimsy biopics, hand-deliveries and pale imitations of journalism - is it even worth mentioning? Probably not. Reason to leave Uncyclopedia #347 The standard of desperate filler boxes in the UnSignpost remains as low as ever. Oh look - a monkey!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

A new UnSignpost issue, another template spammed onto your talkpage, enjoy! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:47, 24 June 2010

Unsign Post

Your eminence, I really enjoy these. But it's too bad that these people getting banned don't have usernames, because they're all just numbers.. which makes it too impersonal to be as funny as it really is. It's like McBeth without character names or faces. I did my bit toward getting people to become registered users with usernames, with the question, How to be an Uncyclopedia Beach LOCAL answered HERE - as you so kindly pointed out. The answer should be simple: REGISTER, you fucking number, you! Hehe! Wishful thinking. Perhaps the Admins, like RabbiTechno, should make the system that ONLY registered users can edit or contribute anything. Users MUST register, and give up their invisable "numbership" if they want to play. Ban the numbers!. Cheers!--Funnybony    20:31, Jun 28

There was already a discussion about that. Or six. Every time it has been denied. Also, hi Rabbi.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Monday, 08:45, June 28 2010 UTC

The trouble is, these unsigned users keep creating good stuff which in many cases ends up becoming a favourite - kitten huffing being one example. Hence, despite many previous discussions on whether or not we should ban unregistered IPs from editing, we continue to allow them to do so. Buggers. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:14, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

Spare some small change

Your eminence, can you spare a vote to an old man? I mean, can god vote? My dear old Post Apocalypse has taken firm shape over one year, and recent total rewrite based on Pee, plus with complete editing by Alister. I can't think how to make it better, neither can they. Maybe the subject of apocalypse scares people away. Right now it's 7-0 for an FA. There's a cyber BJ for a vote to keep it alive. That is, if you find it now worthy, as much has changed toward humor since its NOM. So this is an SOS! Actually, if you vote against it then it may actually happen. So the fate of the world is up to you alone! Cheers!--Funnybony    22:49, Jun 28

Seems I'm too late - so either it failed or it succeeded without my vote. having just had a look at the article, I'm hoping the latter (but am too lazy to find out). :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:32, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

All the news that's unfit to print!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!

Jul 1st, 2010 • Issue 87 • More news than something with less news than us

Things getting boring on the wiki? Time to write at speed! By UU Dullness. Boredom. Shit not going down. That's the place Uncyc found itself recently. And we needed a spark. An idea. Something out of leftfield to galvanise the troops, plaster stupid smiles on faces across the wiki, and inspire joy unconfined in the community. We're still waiting for that, but until it arrives, Skull's hour-long writing contest will do nicely. Shamelessly pinching Cajek's idea of time-limited writing competitions (which brought us such classics as HowTo:Sexually Stimulate an Ant, lest we forget), but putting his own distinct spin on it, Uncyc's own mad Doctor challenged Uncyclopedians to write an article in a single hour that would survive VFD. Given Uncyclopedia's well-known exacting quality standards, this promised to be a tough task, but a surprising number of people were up for it. And so it was that a frenzy erupted across the wiki, and baffled Europeans and other users not around at the time awoke the next day to a slew of brand new articles, not all of which ended up being deleted. They liked the idea so much, they held their own a couple of days later. When asked to comment on his brainchild, the commotion and excitement it had caused, and the size of his penis, Dr. Skullthumper exclusively told us "Sure. I'll get on that. I swear". Things getting boring on the wiki? Time to start pointless drama! By An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Giant evil multinational wiki-hosting conglomerate Wikia won a major victory last month, when a rebellion by a small but dedicated band of anti-capitalist radicals was brutally put down by a bunch of fascistic Wikia-collaborators. Or at least, that's what happened in the heads of Carlb, Roye7777777 and CartoonistHenning after they nailed their anti-Wikia manifesto to the metaphorical door of Uncyclopedia's metaphorical Wittenberg Cathedral. The 1,000-word anti-Wikia tract, despite the shocking and previously unknown revelation that Wikia was not in fact the wiki-hosting charity that it claimed to be, but rather a commercial company, failed to ignite a spontaneous revolt against Wikia among the Uncyclopedia community. A heated and sexually-charge discussion ensued, with strong arguments offered by both sides. However, it seems that some people were unable to grasp the enormity of the revelation that Wikia's motives were less than altruistic. Eventually, the thread descended into an all-out flamewar and a waaaaaaaaaaaaaahmbulance was called to treat the injured. "We may have lost this round," Carlb told UnSignpost reporters "but it is only a temporary setback. One day, the tyranny of Wikia will be no more. Our revenge will be the laughter of our children." It is rumoured that Carlb, Roye7777777 and CartoonistHenning will employ Black Bloc tactics at the next Wikia conference in an attempt to escalate the struggle against Wikia oppression.

Check out these pages! Tell me about your mother Fantasy (American) Football is back! (Oh yeah - I went there) Open the podcast bay doors, Skull... From our logs: 09:07, 30 June 2010 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Ahmedatefa (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (don't do that....or I shall have to spank you) 20:31, 27 June 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked SadisticWolf (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10 minutes ‎ (I don't "rape" I "cockify". There's a difference. ) 16:01, 25 June 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Dexter111344 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 500 seconds ‎ (I'm not a poor version of Oli, I'm a mediocre and far more irritating version) Biopic of the Week What can be said about Ethine? Well, she's been lurking IRC since about December 2006 and only made an account after being forced to by emc. She has been sexually harassed by long forgotten users and by ones you only wish you could forget. She recently took up the job of fighting vandals, reverting idiots, and trying to get new users flogged. For some reason, this was enough to get her the Uncyclopedian of the Month award. Or it could have just been because of her hands. Her young, sexy, oh-so-soft hands... By the way, she actually likes talking to you freaks over Skype. Go talk to her. Ask her about her open invitation to everyone to come to her house. You won't even have to bring your own rope, either. Old-school featured article of the week Hi, my name is David Cameron and I'm the Prime Minister of The United Kingdom. You can call me Dave if you wish, not that I'm trying to tell you what to do. "David" is fine. My mother calls me David and she's a lovely woman, so either way it's cool. This is my own personal uncyclopedia article. I've created this, because I feel that in this modern age of ipods and nanos, it is important to connect with young people and do it in the medium and language that they understand, L.O.L.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticeWii 12:16, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

UnPhD

Your holiness, please excuse me, I don't mean to bother you. But I had a little idea, and you being a god an all I better ask you. Some articles deserve FA, but some FAs are so extensive as to almost be UnThesis for an UnDoctorate. It seems like being an UnPhD is better than anything!? What about using standard Thesis parameters and format and allowing writers who really take the trouble to write UnThesis, and earn UnPhD ? It may all be a stupid idea, but it might be worth a second of your time to consider. It may be possible, I suppose, as "impossible" is a word in the "fool's dictionary". Begging pardon! Cheers!--Funnybony    18:50, Jul 1

Might be a project to revive the Uncycloversity, god rest its soul. ~ 07:41, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

Damn you! that was my great idea! Bloody edit conflicts... anyway I was going to suggest giving them out by department, so UnPhD of Biological Science for something about animals and such or an UnPhD of Theological Studies for an artical about God etc. --DougalJabber at me. 07:45, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

Sure! For a thesis about God could be UnD.Div. Cheers--Funnybony    08:22, Jul 2

Sounds like it might involve effort to me. 'Dillo's suggestion re. Uncycloversity might be worth looking into - you could probably just walk in and take over as it appears to be pretty much dead. I wouldn't mind the Professorship of Recreational Pharmacology if the post is vacant. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:33, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

Wouldnt be to hard unless we decide to do awards for things that have already been written, if we just did it for new stuff it'd be pretty easy... --DougalJabber at me. 10:00, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

Kiwi Grenade

Why did you delete my page? i just made a kiwi grenade on paint to put on it!!!

As it had been unedited for an hour, I assumed it was a one-line stub (which in general are deleted on sight). However, if you're going to add to it (you'll need to add more than an image, however, as some other admin'll delete it without more content) I'll be more than happy to recreate it. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:21, July 3, 2010 (UTC)

ok thanx :) i'll add some more content

By the way, remember to sign posts on talkpages and forums (but not on articles). Just type four tildes (~~~~) at the end and your username will appear with a timestamp. Good luck with the article! :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:25, July 3, 2010 (UTC)

Issues

It appears that I am currently unable to edit certain forum pages and the VFD page. Don't why this is happening, figured you might be able to lend a hand or shed some light. -- Sir SF13 (Talk) GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 03:04 EST 7 July, 2010

A couple of other users have been experiencing the same problem just lately, it seems, but it's all a bit of a mystery as to why (like them, there's no signs of you in the blocked users list). I think you'll be best off taking this up with Sannse as it seems to be a technical problem at Wikia (Mordillo is aware of it too - don't know if he can do anything, but he's likely to be around in the near future whereas Sannse probably won't be around for eleven hours or so yet, so it might be worth asking him). Sorry I can't help! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 07:10, July 7, 2010 (UTC)

It's OK, I think I got it. Sawblade5 had added something to his sig that stopped editing. I removed it and banned his ass as a warning. Let me know if the problem persists. --UU - natter 08:58, Jul 7

Well spotted! :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:05, July 7, 2010 (UTC)

Signpost: normal service resumed

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

STOP... SIGNPOST TIME!!

Jul 8th, 2010 • Issue 88 • Hand-stitched for comfort

Conservation week: how's it going, and what is it anyway? By Under user The 6th bi-annual Conservation Week is now in full swing, and once again bugging people by lasting for a fortnight. So far there are around 12 rewriters signed up (depending on if Joe9320 is serious about pulling out because he got reverted) to rewrite getting on for 30 or so articles. That's a fair old commitment to improvement. But then, that's kind of the idea, isn't it? Conservation week has been running since autumn 2007, starting life in Jocke Pirat's userspace, and spending a confused few hours being called the rewrite-a-thon in an early attempt to get around the whole week-fortnight thing. The first iteration was a resounding success, and about 38 people signed up to rewrite over 50 articles (with Zombiebaron hilariously missing the point and going on a deletion spree instead), making the current iteration look like it has some work to do. However, there was no quality control at the outset - if an article was rewritten in any way, that was deemed good enough. Some of those early articles may well have been made worse, we just don't know (or can't be bothered to check). Quality control arrived later on, when erstwhile gentleman editor of this very organ Gerrycheevers stepped up to run the first 2009 CW, and ran the rule over all the rewrites personally, so that the attendant award was only bestowed on those doing quality rewrites. That task this year falls to Dexter111344, who has promised to be "harsh but harsh". Probably. So, with a prize on offer to the person with the most high quality rewrites, and plenty of time left in which to do said rewrites, the only question left is: "why haven't you entered yet"? We asked this question of one completely random user, and he exclusively told us "because I'm busy writing this week's issue of the UnSignpost, duh!" Image Request: A Retrospective By UU Time to focus on a sometimes-overlooked corner of Uncyclopedia: UN:PIC, otherwise known as Image Request or Radical X's corner. Named for the once and forever king of image manipulation on Uncyclopedia, the near-mythical RadicalX, this page has been responsible for some truly memorable Uncyc images over the years. And some of Pokémon characters superimposed on the crucifixion - hey, whatever floats your boat. Established in March 2005 by a user called Machinecurse, this page has been the domain of most of the legends of Uncyc image manipulation at one time or another - as one 'chopper has left, another has arisen to take their place, in some kind of Potatochop Royal Succession stylee. Or something. Whatever, the likes of Paulgb, Zombiebaron, Seeker, Sonje and, more recently, KneeChee27 and MeepStarLives have slaved over hot image editing software to fulfil the esoteric image requirements of the Uncyclopedia populace. The response time has always varied on the page, as it largely depends on how active the 'choppers are at the time, how achievable the requests actually are, and how polite the request is. But for those with a little patience, it is undoubtedly a useful resource in the ongoing quest for that perfect image of Mario and Master Chief riding Pikachu down the Death Star Trench run. Or something. Have a look at the gallery to see some of the more recent work.

Check out these pages! Yes, it's fucking political... I, er, won't survive? Everyone's a winner baby From our logs: 03:03, 5 July 2010 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Skinfan13 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Paradox block for breaking a rule on an award with no rules) 21:47, 4 July 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Aidan2613 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (The revolution is dead. God save the queen) 18:15, 2 July 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.154.122.248 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (I hope the next 48 hours pass as swiftly and painlessly for you as the hundred years war) Biopic of the Week In North Vancouver, born and raised, at city fundraisers and bake sales are where he spent most of his days... Some of you may or may not remember Shandon, nicknamed "Doughboy" by the electorate in Vancouver after his notorious political scandal which nearly erupted Canadia into anarchy. This is unlike his nickname on Uncyclopedia, "Doughperson", which is based on Shandon's gender neutral writing style and gender neutral username having led many to believe that Shandon has no gender. He recently moved to America, and after doing so was named "Worst Canadian Export", a title he took from Bryan Adams but recently lost to Justin Bieber (Shandon's only chance of reclaiming the title is Bieber's looming appearance in North Korea which many hope will be the end of him). After becoming the first person to ever pick up a chick from the Uncyclopedia IRC, Shandon is now living the American Dream. So what's the nick all about? Shandon, from Silverlock by John Myers Myers. NOT Shandon from Isle of the Dead by Roger Zelazny (another terrible book). Old-school featured article of the Week A civil war is a form of warfare known for its kindness and civility, in stark contrast to the other tactics such as scorched earth which are entirely too dirty for upstanding gentlemen. Civil warfare is a strategy that has outlasted many minor fads in warfare such as Germany's Blitzkrieg Bop, the British Redcoat's Stand In a Line and Shoot or the French Foreign Legion's Surrender. Its longevity as a tactic can probably be attributed to a few things, namely the incompetence of modern military tacticians compared to those of the past and the universal human need for cordial smiles and small talk, even during battle. The inevitable return of Cajek ban of the week 12:30, 8 July 2010 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day (not returning to Uncyc in a proper and timely fashion)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Oh dear god, am I really doing this again? --UU - natter 10:57, Jul 9

66.168.177.28

I think that is Dexter, based on this edit and this one. Also, random thought: In January, I'm going to nominate you for UotY for all you do here. So don't leave until February 2011, OK? :)--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 07:43, July 10 2010 UTC

Leave Uncyclopedia? You think that after more than four years that's even an option? You know those angler fish thingies, where the male becomes attached to the female and eventually withers into nothing but a sack of sperm, hanging from the female after she absorbs all other nutrients in the male's body into her own? Well, that's what happens to Uncyclopedians after three years. My only advice is save yourself before it's too late - swim quickly away and evolve into something with a better life.

Secondly, that's really most awfully kind of you; although my contributions are small when compared to the likes of Sannse, 'Dillo, Mhaille and others. Nevertheless, I won't turn down a chance to add the most coveted award of them all to my trophy cabinet. :-)

Thirdly - what I said about poopsmithing on ban patrol. Would you fancy doing it? You seem to be around enough and evidently have the ability to recognise cyberbullying when the rest of us miss it - plus, you get a special hat, all the girls will fancy you and it's a great addition to your cv/résumé. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 07:53, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

Just saw what you wrote on there. I'll talk to 'Dillo. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 07:55, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

Mhaille and 'dillo won already. So did UU, before you talk. :)

Oh, and you edit conflicted me as revenge for edit conflicting you in April, didn't you? Bastard.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 07:57, July 10 2010 UTC

I made the most of my teenage years - you think I can remember what happened an hour ago, never mind April? Anyway, just left a message on 'Dillo's talkpage. Unless he has anything against it, I'll see to it that you get poopsmithised as soon as possible. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:02, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

Is getting "poopsmithised" a painful process? Does it involve needles?

Just the one needle. As it's full of medical grade heroin, the remainder of the process is absolutely painless. Once the heroin has caused you to slip into unconsciousness, the next stage involves being stripped, trussed, oiled and left in Olipro's Dungeon of Love, so there may be some mild discomfort around the anal area for a few weeks afterwards. However, I'm sure you will understand that this is a vital part of the procedure and in no way intended merely to provide amusement for watching admins and/or increasing Wikia's profits when they sell the photographs to porn websites. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:15, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

You obviously don't know how kinky I am. My anal area is used to it. Trust me.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 08:18, July 10 2010 UTC

Excellent news! You'll fit right in. As will Olipro, if you know what I mean. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:22, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

Orian won't be too happy about this...--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 08:28, July 10 2010 UTC

Oh, and I'll probably need your help in my first 'smithing if I get the job. I managed to mess up my first pee review (italicized all of the text somehow) my first VFD votes (Proposed an ICU on a page a year old) and my first QVFD entry (misread the rules and put an article over a week old) and more. I don't do well with first tries. :)--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 08:04, July 10 2010 UTC

I got banned a couple of times for similar things - putting stuff less than a week old on VFD and suchlike. Smithing is an easy job though, you'll pick it up no problem. All it really involves is archiving QVFD, VFD, BP and whatever else needs archiving these days and checking the Poopsmith's Lounge from time to time to see if anyone's added anything to it. Oh, and making the tea, going down to shops for biscuits and stuff. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:21, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

I make no guarantee that I won't eat the biscuits on the way back.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 08:28, July 10 2010 UTC

Probably do us a favour that way - we admins are looking a bit lardy these days. Oh, and congratulations on just becoming a poopsmith! Do feel free to move/remove the template if you wish - it's not the best one ever. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:31, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

Is that guy supposed to be me? I'm not fat! Am I?

Serious moment: do you archive QVFD when there are a bunch of red links, or just on new days?--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 08:35, July 10 2010 UTC

There are no hard and fast rules - you can either do it daily or several times daily if you wish. If there are any functioning links rather than just red ones, check them out and if they seem like crappy articles to you then either leave them there or add them to the next day's selection. Most admins will leave some form of comment (those of us that have the ability to write, anyway) if they've had a look and decided to let it live. When to create a new archive is pretty much your choice - I tended to do it each month, except in the case of BP which I did whenever an old archive became long enough to slow my browser. Don't worry too much if you can't check everything daily, as myself, UU and Chief all archive stuff from time to time. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:45, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

I'll probably do the same for BP as I do for my talk page- archive it when I get a banner while editing that says "it may help to move old discussions to an archive subpage." Although, I'll probably mess that up.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 08:48, July 10 2010 UTC

I don't think you will - there's honestly nothing to it. Even I never messed it up, even though I live in a cave in 6712 BCE and am utterly unfamiliar with any technology more advanced that pointy sticks. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:53, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

So much sexual innuendo. Aren't you supposed to be a pure and holy Rabbi?

Oh yeah, and I just attempted to archive QVFD. Did I mess up?--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 09:01, July 10 2010 UTC

You haven't met many rabbis, have you? Also, no - I watched you do it and you did it exactly the correct way. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:08, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

You never really can tell on the streets. Not all Rabbis have beards and wave Jewish flags everywhere like you.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 09:18, July 10 2010 UTC

Just soma thanks

Rabbi – blessed be thine name. I must be a bloody mind reader.

Cheers--Funnybony    20:12, Jul 10

Like I said, it deserved to be featured (and since I decide what gets featured on HowTo, it got featured) because it's a great article. Also, it has pretty colours. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 20:15, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

Today is my birthday

And thus, I require a ban. UU did it for Orian. Do you want to be outshined by that blimey British chap?--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Sunday, 06:36, July 11 2010 UTC

Today's your birthday? I hope the good Rabbi gives you a nice long birthday ban. —Pelozurian (talk) 06:37, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, July 11th.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Sunday, 06:39, July 11 2010 UTC

Happy birthday and please enjoy your forthcoming birthday ban - I'd ban you for longer, but one never knows when we'll need to make an announcement over the PA system, rather like the tannoy in Asda/Walmart (delete according to national preference): "Poopsmith to aisle five, poopsmith to aisle five - wet spillage, specifically a large pile of poop. Poopsmith to aisle five." Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 06:43, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Well, I'm sure not sleeping, so I might as well. It's 2:46AM here. I hate insomnia. (Fun fact:I got the poopsmith position at about 5:30AM. I went to sleep at 6:30.)--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Sunday, 06:48, July 11 2010 UTC

Serves you right, you barbarian foreigner. 7.49am here, been up since 6 as our flat is east-facing so in summer I wake up at that time with the sun shining in and baking my head. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 06:49, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Ha! My house faces northward, so I don't wake up until past noon. :) Actually, on the 10th I woke up at 3. PM. Good job on the ban, by the way. Only Mhaille could have done better.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Sunday, 06:56, July 11 2010 UTC

They have a talent for bannination, those northern pagans - must be something they learn while making stone circles and dream catchers, the godless heathens. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 06:59, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

I went in one of Mhaille's stone circles once. It's why I'm gay.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Sunday, 07:02, July 11 2010 UTC

I seem to recall reading somewhere a theory that the stone circle represents female genitalia, and thus when we enter one we are symbolically returning to the womb of Gaia/the Earth Mother. I suppose one would need make only the slightest errors in placing the stones to end up with a representation of the anus of the Earth Father. That would explain all sorts of things. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 07:13, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Hello

The recent revisions I did to Listen Up Guys is actually a parody of some IP's rant against racism on Uncyclopedia, or something.--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag 07:08, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Ah - didn't spot that it was by you. Since you're a known, trusted user and all that, feel free to remove the ICU. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 07:13, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Closing VFH pages

Okay, to close a VFH page, you have to put this template:

{{vfh failed| |sig= Your sig |stamp= Timestamp |comment= Reason why you closed it }}

And yeah, fill out the necessary things. I could have done it, but I just feel more comfortable having and admin do it per the nature of voting pages (you know how people can become upset if a vote doesn't end the way they want it and whatnot). MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 11:48, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

If you look at my JS file, there's a script there that adds the feature and removal options to the VFH page. ~ 11:50, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Thankyou, chaps. Hope my second attempt is OK - never really had much to do with VFH before. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:55, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

No prob. But I have one question: Why am I still up? I'm tired, I still have a headache from the vuvuzela sound on the podcast (which you guys should totally listen to) and from someone who really angered me in the past day (whose damn voice won't get out of my head), and there isn't a damn thing interesting on TV. Think it's the headache preventing me from getting to sleep? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 12:01, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

That's one of the advantages of being into cycling rather than football - as of yet, no vuvuzelas sighted at this year's Tour de France. Lots of people ringing handbells for some reason, though. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:03, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

At the last estimate, doing anything with JS was precisely seven hundred km beyond my technical capability - if I try to copy some from your file and add it to mine, I'll almost certainly break the Internet into tiny pieces. However, I can still copy and paste the template so I'll stick with that method! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:12, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

JT, I've placed the code in your CSS file, do a hard refresh and then go to VFH, you should see the feature/remove buttons next to the article name. ~ 16:11, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

On Friday you came my userpage with Jewish ramblings and a Welsh sheep...

And I was trying to weedle out of you how old you are, but you buggered off. I have you somewhere in the the late twenties, but whereas some people are easy to tell roughly, you are a little bit of a challenge. I was going to play it nice and let you think telling me was your idea, but these things niggle and you are bit immune to my 'charms'. So how old are you, or a very narrow field for a very close 'guesstamate'?...;-)--Sycamore (Talk) 18:34, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

JT does have the body of a twenty year old, in the boot of his car... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I'm 98, and a cripple. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:40, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

We want information, and by hook or by crook, we'll get it...--Sycamore (Talk) 18:43, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, OK then. I'm 35, 36 in November. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:49, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Hey I was out, but not by too much. I thought Mhaille was 14 with his fondness of Duke Nukem and childish schoolboy humour, turns out he's a professional and subsists off processed cheese.--Sycamore (Talk) 19:01, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Fondness for childish schoolboy humour is no indication of age, merely Britishness. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:08, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

You're a pedo- I'm 17, and you talked to me about sexual stuff. Creep.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Sunday, 07:19, July 11 2010 UTC

You led me on, you filthy little Lolita. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:13, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

BANANA!!!

Banana is a nice word, don't you think, oh and er, what do you think of my contributions; write what you think of them on my talk page. – Preceding unsigned comment added by NeuroticNinjaPirate666 (talk • contribs)

I'll have a look tomorrow, when I have more time. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:11, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

BANANA BANANA

So good they named it twice.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I thought that was the South African football team? --UU - natter 12:51, Jul 12

APRICOT!

A much better word and fruit than the banana. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:12, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

You have always been a much better judge of fruit than I, sir.....although I would argue the case for Kumquats any day of the week.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Kumquats are pretty good, but vastly inferior to lychees if you ask me. Not least of all because, when peeled, lychees so closely resemble eyeballs - and who doesn't enjoy a nice tasty eyeball? I had one of those dragon fruit the other day - they look fantastic but taste like a kiwi fruit would do if kiwi fruit only had half the flavour they actually have. Cost me £1.30 as well, the bastard. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:18, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

Oh year!

Forget the contributions thing i wrote earlyer. and how to I become an admin? and how do i get rewards. NeuroticNinjaPirate666 18:03, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

Unfortunately, now you've asked how to become an admin you've failed the test - Uncyclopedia adminship is not something one chooses, rather a tragic affliction that some of us must bear. More seriously, it's not a matter of just putting your name forward: every now and then, when it is deemed necessary, we hold an election process which, during this time, is known as Vote for Sysop (the rest of the time, it's Vote for Sandwiches. This vote may be held once a month, once a year or even more rarely. When it happens, users may nominate other users for adminship and we then vote on which ones will get admin rights. Once the vote is over, a second admin-only vote is held - admins hold the final say and may decide to elect two, one or no new admins.

Right now, when you've only been with us, I'd forget it as you'll need to have been around a lot longer to be in with any chance - I'd been here for four years before becoming an admin. In the meantime, write articles (all admins here are productive writers), get to know everyone and how the place works and help out by tracking down and reverting vandalism. If you stick with it, you'll be able to request rollback rights which allow you to carry out certain tasks more efficiently. The next step would, in most cases, be taking on poopsmith duties - this entails doing as much work as an admin but getting few if any reward for it. Finally, at some point in the future, adminship is a possibility for those users who have earned the trust of the community and shown themselves to be competent (so exactly how in hell I ever became an admin remains a bit of a mystery, really). Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:09, July 13, 2010 (UTC)

As for rewards - what sort of rewards do you mean? Are you talking about things such as UotM, WotM, featured articles and the like? Once again, the only way is to write articles and help out - the community will recognise your contributions. If you write an article that you think has the potential to be a feature, put it up for a Pee Review - that's the easiest way to bring it to people's attention, and once reviewed you can nominate it on VFH yourself as you tried to do with that other article recently. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:14, July 13, 2010 (UTC)

Gallows Humour

Needs a bit of tweaking, but I think its almost there....feel free to augment as you see fit... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I shall have a look - once today's Tour de France stage is over. Have completely forgotten why I wanted to link to it from BIBLE! now, though - pity, it seemed a pretty funny idea at the time. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:49, July 13, 2010 (UTC)

Sammy Canchez is looking good to compete with Schleck and Contador. I've watched much of the last hour or so. Aleister 12:59 13 7. p.s. Oh, yeah, very good article too. 40.

p.s.s. And Chanchez, spoke too soon. He should just take a sharp left turn and end it all.

Or is it Sanchez...? Either way, his racing tuck is outstanding - he looks more aerodynamic than a falcon. Was interesting to see Schleck earlier with a big grin on his face like he was out on a Sunday ride to the pub, with Contador on his back wheel - and thus using far less energy - grimacing like a man in abject agony. Makes me think that in a year or two Schleck is going to prove to be one of the greats, up there with the likes of Indurain and Hinault. Geraint Thomas is going to be a rider to watch in years to come too, so maybe we're going to have the British winner we thought we'd have this year had Wiggins not have decided to play about. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:09, July 13, 2010 (UTC)

Regarding this edit summary

I did a bunch of archiving that night- I only left the stuff that wasn't deleted. I have no idea why it took two days to delete some stuff. >:/--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Tuesday, 05:21, July 13 2010 UTC

Oh, I shouldn't worry - odd things like that happen sometimes and I don't mind doing a bit of archiving (I was only joking in the edit summary!) Keep up the good work. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:30, July 13, 2010 (UTC)

There was such a huge backlog last night- people need to check QVFD more than that.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Tuesday, 05:39, July 13 2010 UTC

You deleted one of my article

You know which one it is...

I guess it should have been, i couldn't think of a good one to start it off...and no one was adding.

BUT I DIDN'T ABANDON IT!..i am loyal..sorta.

Just saying, i didn't abandon nothing, although your correct, it was going nowhere.

Oh by the way, i haven't checked but i hope you fixed up the 100 worst list. It was on it, and if ou didn't...well your fault not mine...i think.

Oh 1 question, are you actually Jewish? --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 00:14, July 14, 2010 (UTC)

(The Jews are running Uncyclopedia. It's a conspiracy, man!) —fj0j3ddjoaw;rfjaew (r30qjd) 00:20, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

oh god it's funny when this happens...I asked if he was jewish cause i actually am -_-"...u feel bad now DONT YA! It's like that time i was at mcdonalds, and the guy in the line beside me was like "don't be so cheep, ya jew", so they started laughing, i stared to aswell, they look at me and go "man that kids so cheep!". And i was like...well you know where this is going, but it's fun as hell to do that...i really should put that jewish template on my userpage shouldn't i? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Happymonkey39 (talk • contribs)

Happymonkey נעים מאוד. Pages with construction tags that are left unedited for a week become candidates for deletion as, in most cases, a page left that long will never be completed and just sits there rotting away on the servers. However, if you'd like a copy back I'll be more than happy to restore it to a userspace page where it can remain for as long as you need (but if you do abandon it, let an admin know so we can delete it). Actually, I'm secretly a fundamentalist Muslim anti-Zionist Hamas operative - but keep it quiet, ok, as I don't want any unexpected visits from User:Mordillo. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:20, July 14, 2010 (UTC)

I've actually always felt partly Jewish, at least from the waist down.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Having never felt you from the waist down, I really couldn't comment. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:58, July 14, 2010 (UTC)

Since when have Jewish people been extremely short? --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 04:48, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

When someone asks us for spare change? </antisemitism>

Haha, that ones a keeper. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 04:41, July 16, 2010 (UTC)

Well thank you rabbi, and it is , very nice indeed(נעים מאוד). Anyways there is no need for that. It was dieing, i think it was a suicide due to his lack of friends and attention. I was just saying i would never abandon one of my own...except the ones that i sort of sent to execution, but that's a different story...on a different note that did say very nice right...i don't know much Hebrew -_-"...actually to be dead honest i can only pronounce words in Hebrew, i don't have a clue what they mean...i just threw that in a translator :P. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 04:46, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

I shouldn't worry too much about that. There are types of tree that know Hebrew better than I do. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:54, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

Well surely it ain't me. I mean i am only 14 and i live in Canada, and my parents went through a rough spell, so i only got a few years of Hebrew school. But it's all good, i know all about my religion, and will be able to spread my knowledge on to the next generation....or is that your job, and mine is to eat all the matzo ball soup? I love that stuff!..oh and if you can reply in my talk. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 04:45, July 16, 2010 (UTC)

wtf

i just made the header it was only a few hours old  ~  The*  (say shit) (My train wrecks) Π   ~  04:20, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

If you'd like to tell me what it is you're talking about, I'll see what I can do to help. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:58, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

i was just venting i went to save on the cdc page and it was huffed i'll just redo it later no big deal. its been a long week trying to write and working on audio for the titanic article.  ~  The*  (say shit) (My train wrecks) Π   ~  17:32, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

Poopsmith

Many greetings, Rabbi. Out of curiosity, what exactly is required to become a poopsmith? Long amounts of time on VFD? General maintenance for the site? I ask because there are a few red links on VFD, and i'm rather bored...not that i'm suggesting anything. Saberwolf116 15:52, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

Basically, just getting noticed for being useful - or bribing admins. We just made HELPME a poopsmith the other day, in fact, but I don't see why we shouldn't have more than two at any one time. Ask Mordillo - you've been around for long enough to be a potential poopsmith, as far as I'm concerned. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:56, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

Another UnSignpost! Rejoice!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!

Jul 15th, 2010 • Issue 89 • Made with 100% recycled vuvuzelas

The 40+ club expands By UU Once, many years ago, having 40 featured articles seemed an untouchable goal - a mystical, far-off land that none would ever reach. These days, it seems almost passé, as Mhaille has joined Modusoperandi in that territory, and Hyperbole (counting works by his various drunken sockpuppets) is half a feature away from becoming the fastest person yet to reach that magical figure. We asked them all for quotes, and Mhaille exclusively told us: ""Go eat more shit, fuckers"...obviously I am excited to have reached the BIG 4-0, and am delighted that enough of my peers deem the quality of my work good enough to have reached that figure, although I have to say I'm a little pissed that at least 10 other of my articles are feature-worthy and are constant overlooked (lengthy bans will ensue, I'm sure), I am equally as proud of my featured images, as well as many of my other contributions that I hope that my peers feel have augmented the work of others. That I am still here after five long years, and still contributing says something about Uncyclopedia itself. What that is, I wouldn't like to speculate. But sometimes you have to in order to accumulate. Apparently." Which is such a long quote we're going to need at least one blatant filler box in the right-hand panel. Bastard. Meanwhile, Modus exclusively told us "It's not that myself and Mhaille have written so very many great and fantastic pages that have, and will continue to, entertain the people for years to come. It's just that Mhaille did. "I" am one of his many sockpuppets. He writes as "Modusoperandi" when he needs a page without a "foreign" accent. Look around. There are a bunch more Mhaille sockpuppets here, too. Hyperbole, for one. Mhaille is like a wet Mogwai." Which is more concise, and therefore OK. Finally, Hype exclusively commented: "I'd like to say thank you to Uncyclopedia for voting to feature my many excellent, high-quality articles, including the drunken insistence that you accept a diseased poodle, the song about having sex with sporting goods, and the blatantly racist tirade about having to wait too long for a Pee Review. Writing 39.5 features has been literally the most important accomplishment I will ever have in my life. I look forward to continuing to service each and every one of you in the future." Which was nice of him. So, the burning question now has to be: who will be first to 50? Modus obviously has the lead, but Mhaille is writing in greater volume than he has for some time, and if Hype keeps up the pace, he's probably a good bet. But they're not the only candidates - Sog is coming up the rails rapidly, and could reach the 40 mark even quicker than Hype - could he overtake the lot of them? The only thing certain is that with these guys around, Uncyc should be assured of some half-decent articles amongst the dross. World Cup over - Romartus struggling for UnNews inspiration By UU The climax to the World Cup may have been a little ugly, unsatisfying and under-whelming (hmm, sounds familiar somehow), but it raises a question so far not addressed by the mainstream media, namely "what is Romartus going to write UnNewses about now?" The scourge of Junior Uncyclopedia has discovered his muse in the planet's biggest sporting event, and has been cranking out UnNews articles on the subject at an alarming rate. Now, without Jabulani balls, biting tackles and Messi long shots to inspire him, what is there to inspire him to maintain such prolific standards? Suspicions abound that the Tour De France is passing him by, he seems far too English to care about the various draft and transfer shenanigans in the NFL and NBA and the like, and as the only story to emerge from golf's Open Championship so far is Tiger Woods changing his putter (wow, someone hold me back), that seems unlikely to unleash his inner news-hound. With a worrying lack of global sporting tournaments on the horizon, will we have to wait another 4 years for the next Romartus article splurge? Stay tuned to UnNews to find out!

Check out these pages! Please not Stephenie Meyer, Please not Stephenie Meyer... Lazy journalism. Which is something we never indulge in Kicking on with another bandwagon From our logs: 23:47, 14 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.8.150.140 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (Oh, shut up for about half a year, will you? Thanks, dear.) 15:47, 13 July 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) resurrected Under user (Talk | contribs) ‎ (a song originally written for Celine Dion? Have you no standards?) 14:47, 13 July 2010 Flammable (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 294 seconds ‎ (CUZ I MISS U BABY AND I DUN WANNA MISS A THING.) 14:39, 13 July 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Don't want to cloooose my eyes, don't want to faaaaaall asleep.) 06:18, 13 July 2010 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Keeh69 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (I block with the power of a thousand vuvuzelas) 19:16, 12 July 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 77.164.176.221 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (you can't even spell "racistic" properly it's "RASISTICS") 01:01, 12 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.68.108.4 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Only because I can't appoint you an admin.) Biopic of the Week Fnoodle was the UnSignpost's first ever paperbot, something we could frankly do with more of. One of the many creations of fiendish evil genius Dr. Skullthumper, it also managed to singlehandedly upset approximately two-thirds of the wiki by running a huge spellcheck operation, maliciously changing "teh" to "the" on every single page - which seemed to put an awful lot of panties in a bunch, judging by teh number of complaints on Skull's talk page in the aftermath. Old-school featured article of the week The Adventures of Baron Ringpiece were composed as a series of short tales, published between 1840 and 1848 by William “Wacky” Thackeray, better known for Vanity Fair Magazine, and his novels Penispenispenis and The Virginans, and details the life and adventures of Redman Barry O'Malley. Thackeray always considered the work to be unfinished, and had intended to add several more chapters, turning the tale from one where the hero works towards success to one where he gains his dreams only to lose them. Cajek ban of the Week 10:04, 9 July 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day (account creation disabled) ‎ (I really don't do this as often as I should)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

—Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:15, 16 July 2010

Userpage Help

When someone is looking at my userpage (users that are logged in) and sees What Am I Doing Now; how do get it so say; Watching <insert name here>'s house. If you see me once, you shan't see me again. (to a logged in user) and Watching <insert name here>'s house. If you see me once, you shan't see me again. to a non-logged in user). NeuroticNinjaPirate666 21:00, July 16, 2010 (UTC)

Showdown for Cookies

Hello there RabbiRechno. Congratulations! You have been chosen to be one of our not-so-special judges for the writers showdown that will be between Aleister in Chains and me Happymonkey39. This will be a showdown were we give each other a name of an unwritten article and we must write as much as we can in 1 hour and 15 minutes. Then our 5 judges will choose which article is better overall. A template on how it shall be evaluated will be given later.

This showdown will be held at 10:30EDT, please convert the time yourself. At 11:50EDT each judge will review each article and chose which he finds best. The user with the most votes wins. And yes the prize will be cookies, the loser must give 100 cookies to the winner on the users talk page.

So are you willing to be an unhonorable judge? --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 16:29, July 17, 2010 (UTC)

Bike race

Ah, that thing above. That's for Monday, and no "judging" need be done that night, we will just freeze the pages. Happymonkey challenged me because I stole his cookies. Here, have one. ummmm. Anyhow, what about that stage today?! That was fun (and I thought I saw you running along, the guy with the large yellow hair wig?). Schleck proved his keep-up-with-er-ness today, but several days to go this week. At one point I thought Schleck was going to make a run of it, but the strategy must have been just to show Contador that he could keep up and actually finish ahead of him. And since you mentioned the scenery I've been putting my attention more on the buildings and streets. Good views and large castles. Aleister 15:29 19 7

Nope, I was the guy 32.1km from the finish with the giant inflatable penis on his head. Did you see the pink fluffy rabbit yesterday (or do I need to cut down on my drinking)? I finally managed to spot the Devil on Friday too, a few km from the end on Montee Jalabert - it's not a real Tour without the Devil. Anyway, yes - the racing. Schleck is proving to be an outstanding rider, give him another year or two to get some muscle on those skinny legs of his and he may just prove tp be one of the greats up there with Hinault, Merckx, Indurain and Armstrong. Definitely worth keeping an eye on the scenery for the next few days as the Pyrenees are perhaps the most beautiful part of Europe after the very best bits of the Alps. Been a damn good Tour this year! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:52, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

What the hell are you two blabbering about? And are you gonna judge or not!...oh give me that *grabs cookie right before you eat it*...damn these are goood! --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 16:04, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

Only the biggest sports event on the planet. Yeah, I'll judge - I don't usually, nut since you asked nicely... Probably won't be around until Tuesday evening, however, as I have to travel to a different city for a job interview - and then I'll be watching the Tour highlights, so it might be Wednesday morning. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:11, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

But, aren't you working with the synagogue? And yes, I'm know for my politeness.--Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 22:48, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

Oy, but every shekel goes on beard maintenance. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:42, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

"Now who's the cunt?"

I'll reply for the IP: You, RabbiTechno, are the cunt. That is all. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 16:07, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

I'm pleased to see that you recognise my better points. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:12, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

No problem. I'm quite the acute observer. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 16:22, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

Acute? Gifted at spotting the patently obvious, more like! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:24, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

Like your mother's weight issues? I'm referring to her obesity, of course. You should vote to de-op yourself] or something. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 16:28, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

Personally, I think we'd all be a lot better off if we just de-opped everyone. How can we ever have a, like, egalitarian society when we have admins, maaaan? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:53, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

Regarding the page move

I give you my greatest gratitude for not huffing the page: I wasn't neglecting it on purpose, but rather had a vacation, and with the addition of pressure to improve the article with a bad pee review score I simply couldn't develop the article. But this should relieve me of the pressure, and given enough time and effort, revive the article. --Romaioktonos 00:19, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

No worries - when I see an article that has obviously had a lot of time and effort put into it I like to give it another chance, even if the tag has expired. Also, I've noticed your name and recognised you as a "good faith" user rather than a vandal/idiot/waste of space. Incidentally, if you sign your posts with four tildes (~~~~ your signature will automatically be added along with the date and time, which saves you having to type and hotlink it. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:00, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

Noob Question

yes, I am a noob - with a question that is equally nooby, in regards to the Construction template - am I allowed to remove it once I have finished the article? (which I have) or would that be stupid? --Captain Noob 07:29, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

Yes you can, and that's a perfectly reasonable question. There's still a chance of it picking up an ICU tag, but remember that just about everyone's first few articles get ICU'd and ICUs are intended to help you with constructive criticism, so just read the suggestions it offers and make any changes necessary. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 07:35, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for that - just wanted to make sure the template didn't have some kind of hidden bomb in it that would result in insta-ban --Captain Noob 07:41, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

You only get insta-banned if you fail to send admins a huge hamper full of cakes and beer. I assume mine is in the post? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 07:43, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

I only have cracker jacks and coke - which explains so much --Captain Noob 07:47, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

Congratulations!

You are the recipient of the Mhaille Award For Excellence for the month of July 2010. I know its not "up there" with the great awards of Uncyclopedia, but its a way for me to show my own support and appreciation for what people are doing out there to make this place better.

Not given this award out for a while but seeing as you always seem to be on recent edits, deleting cruft, fixing articles, dealing with crap, and still finding time to write some absolute cracking articles I think you are a more than worthy recipient, despite your terrible afflictions. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

What counts for more? The Brit award for best male artist or Bob Dylan mentioning he happens to quite like your lyrics? Many thanks, much appreciated - and I'll ignore the Jewelsh stuff because I know that, as a Northerner, you're just jealous. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:58, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

*not jealous at all*. What do you mean? This is the single greatest award on Uncyclopedia. --UU - natter 12:03, Jul 21

Merely the greatest on Uncyclopedia? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:07, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

VFD

Just as you finished voting on that Giger thing, I saved a few changes to it. Mind having another squint and seeing if you think it's now keepworthy in a re-writeable way?--UU - natter 12:03, Jul 21

My pleasure to both have a look and change my mind, because I like the pun too. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:07, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

Massively improved already, so I'm voting to keep and looking forward to any re-write you may subsequently carry out. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:11, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

Ta. --UU - natter 12:15, Jul 21