User talk:RabbiTechnoArchive11

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I saw it first[edit source]

Me me me! Speedy despoilment has been achieved. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 13:01, Apr 1

Two whole minutes. Mediocre, I think you'll agree. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 13:02, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
Depends what you're talking about. for a pizza delivery, it'd be pretty quick. Besides, this kind of quality can't be rushed. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 13:05, Apr 1
It'd be quite impressive in bed too. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 13:06, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
We talked about that. My can of "stud" delay spray ran out. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 13:07, Apr 1
Have you seen that new cake advert where Mrs. Kipling suggests that Mr. Kipling's sexual performance is, ah, not all it could be? FFS - I really don't want to know if Mr. Kipling can keep it up or not. All I care about is whether his cakes taste nice or not. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 13:11, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1th April 2010 - Always on time[edit source]

Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 04:47, Apr 2 2010 UTC

The thingy[edit source]

I brought this idea up again, since it is by far my best one. Welcome if you like, you already know what it is about. -- Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 07:07, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

I still think it's a good idea, provided you can get people's support. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 08:56, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Congratulations on your ascension[edit source]

Now, I read in UnSignpost that you banned me for three months, unbeknownst to me, for crossing you a second time. This occurred hours before you acquired the ban stick, and hours before the start of April Fools' Day, and if the ban was real, it wore off in half an hour. Have I forgotten something? Spıke ¬ 12:15 2-Apr-10

I was somewhat mystified by that, too - in fact, I don't recall ever banning you. I can only assume that someone at the UnSignpost went to the Sun Journalism School and got a degree in making Stuff Up. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 12:20, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Now, Mordillo did ban me for ten minutes, right after I said on VFS that the only point to voting for me would be for higher-quality messages in the Ban Log. His was in Hebrew. That's news. Spıke ¬ 12:22 2-Apr-10

I can think of less meaningful reasons to vote for someone. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 12:26, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
In virtual space, you banned all the users for three months! Thanks for the bagel coupon, I've already tried to use it and it worked once and failed once. Some people just don't trust things printed on paper handed to them at random. Fools!! Aleister in Chains 12:35 2 4 mmx
Aah, that explains it. You need to go back into virtual space to use your coupon - had you have read the smallprint, you'd know it's only good for one virtual bagel from a virtual shop. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 12:38, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
I can't wait to use mine- oh wait, I just used it to protect myself from the Zionism on this page, didn't I?Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 18:05, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why photocopiers were invented. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 18:07, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
No, photocopiers were invented so Jews could copy money. :)Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 23:51, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
Why would we need to do that? Everyone knows that all Jews are issued with a special identification code that allows us to draw unlimited funds from accounts belonging to gentiles at any bank. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 11:11, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Ha! :D FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 11:07 • Saturday, 3-04-2010
Wait, SPIKE wasn't banned for three months; I was! Also I wonder if Aleister actually tried using the coupon. I just came here to tell you I'm thinking about trying it. There's a donut shop nearby where the people are pretty cool and I could try it there. But I'll probably chicken out. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:59, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

/* Thank you */[edit source]

Thanks for your condolences, from my wife and I both. I'm really touched by the sentiments of my friends here. Cheers. Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:42, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Re: Molten steel[edit source]

No problem. I was reading the "100 Worst April Fools Jokes" article when you left the message on my talk page, so I wasn't sure if the "You have new messages" banner was legit or not. --EMC [TALK] 09:32 Apr 3 2010

'Lo[edit source]

I just noticed that HowTo:Build the Perfect Sandcastle was made the featured HowTo, thanks for that, it's one of the best pieces i've ever written. Just wondering if there was a voting page that I could have a link to, so I can see all the nice things people said. Or was it just because you've run out of good, but not featured, HowTo's. Also were you only just made an admin? I thought you were always one.    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 20:48 3 April 2010

People don't vote on featured HowTo's- certain people, like the Rabbi, decide. Also, this isn't my talk page. Sorry Rabbi. Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 22:58, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
I thought so, but there was a time when voting was a thing. none of this dictator ship. Thanks though.    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 22:59 3 April 2010
God Orian, you're so behind the times. Loser.Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 23:01, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
HOMOPHOBE!!!    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 23:02 3 April 2010
Behind again, calling people homophobes is so 2009.Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 23:03, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
FUCKING HOMOPHOBE!!! That's like, different.    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 23:05 3 April 2010
Why the unnecessary "phobe" in your insult?Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 23:06, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Ooh, a sausage fest!!! --PaizuMaj. • JStwMUNLOBCrapWHORE • (Talk) 23:07, 3 April 2010 (UTC)
How dare you! If either of you write another insult, you can just forget about ice cream later!Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 23:09, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Because you're not gay! Stop trying to steal my thunder. Fucking WANNABE!    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 23:11 3 April 2010
EC's guys. Not cool.    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 23:11 3 April 2010
Twice! Somebodies getting castrated in the morning.    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 23:11 3 April 2010
But I'm not even Jewish! --PaizuMaj. • JStwMUNLOBCrapWHORE • (Talk) 23:12, 3 April 2010 (UTC)
How dare you! I am much gayer than you, and can prove it!Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 23:13, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Bring. It. On.    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 23:13 3 April 2010
Oh, I'll show you, old timer...where's my male porn...Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 23:15, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Bring it on! Bring it on! Quickly now Boy!    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 23:17 3 April 2010
If only Mohammedlickingcock.jpg was still the original, we could base a contest off of that... :(Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 23:21, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Um, I thought..never mind.Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 23:22, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Oh there's no contest. Dicks grow exponentially with age you know.    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 23:22 3 April 2010
Um what? I'm tottally lost now.    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 23:22 3 April 2010
So am I. So, I'm just going to laugh at the fact that you misspelled "totally".Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 23:25, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Bah! Yungun's and their ridiculous language. Back in my day we learned to spell and type.    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 23:32 3 April 2010
I would apologize for this conversation on your talk page, but I'm really not sorry.Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 23:54, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
Neither am I. In fact I enjoyed two really decent wanks while typing out my half.    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 23:56 3 April 2010
So long as you wiped my page clean afterwards. Also - no, there's no vote for either HowTo or Why. I believe there used to be, but nobody voted so it became a dictatorship. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance and what have you. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 10:41, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
Sure I cleaned off your page but you may want to get yourself a new yamulka (I know that's spelt wrong but I just can't be bothered looking up the right way to spell it). Also it surely means that at least you liked it enough to give it some more air time. :)    Orian57    Talk   Union pink.jpg 11:12 4 April 2010
There'sa million and one different ways to spell yarmulke, so no matter. It'd probably be easier if we all said kippah instead. Also - yes. I thought it was a decent article. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 11:16, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
Hi, John! How are you doing? FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 15:29 • Sunday, 4-04-2010
Such a subtle hint! However, it might well work - that could be next week's feature. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 15:33, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Huh?[edit source]

I just got back.... and I was reading the unsignpost and I noticed that you are featured for blocking me.... why? The Rift Icons-flag-ca.png (grumble) 17px-Compassrose.gif MUN CPT DAD 15:07, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Haha, that was the {{USERNAME}} template. Gets all the noobs. :P --PaizuMaj. • JStwMUNLOBCrapWHORE • (Talk) 15:10, 4 April 2010 (UTC)
Yep, was about to say the same thing. It's got me on more than one occasion too. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 15:12, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
Oh... goddammit The Rift Icons-flag-ca.png (grumble) 17px-Compassrose.gif MUN CPT DAD 15:16, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
I got tricked by that template on the awards of the decade page, I just never said it. :)Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! CUN.png Icons-flag-us.png NOTM 23:40, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
I've seen the {{USERNAME}} template a zillion times, and it still got me because I really was joke banned during that period and Under User had already told me if it happened I'd be listed in that issue. It wasn't until I saw it was for three months that I started wondering.... King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:24, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Anne[edit source]

Regarding your suggestion that the author QVFD this article (which bounced, because you had placed {{ICU}} on it!), see User talk:Loopygrumpkins#VFD rules. We too had discussed what to do about it. It would be VFD-eligible on Tuesday. Spıke ¬ 17:37 4-Apr-10

Yes, I probably should have mentioned that the ICU would need to be removed prior to QVFDing. Anyway, it's irrelevant now if the article's about a Little Britain character rather than a real person, so no matter. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 16:03, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

got it in[edit source]

have you got it in for me? you seem to be removing everything i post with no given reason other then you didn't find it funny... which i can understand but by the same token isn't exactly fair, not everyone has the same sense of humor you know – Preceding unsigned comment added by Avinalaugh (talk • contribs)

Not at all. I've merely deleted those things - such as Rsybytitus - which fail Uncyclopedia's quality standards (I know - I thought the same thing when I heard we had quality standards, too). If you look at your contributions, you'll see that the vast majority of your contributions haven't been huffed or reverted by anybody at all. As for having it in for you, I had to look at your contributions and sift through my own to work out who you are - I revert/huff stuff that in my 4+ years here I've learned doesn't make the grade, I do not hover over a new user's contributions, rubbing my hands as I cackle maniacally and wait to remove every edit they make. Don't take things personally - virtually everybody gets a lot of their early edits reverted and few first articles survive for long. Most of my own were removed within minutes. If you'd planned on developing any of your articles further, I'll be happy to restore them to your own userspace where they can remain untouched until you're happy to release them back into the big, wide world. Otherwise, remember to use the {{construction}} tag on works in progress, which will give them one week during which they won't be deleted, allowing you to finish them. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 10:01, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

???[edit source]

Eh? --nldr 18:58, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

It'll make more sense to him, provided he remembers the two pages he created. The first simply said, "constantinos sucks the big black hairy dick and jerks off to cartoon porn," (that was 2 years ago - obviously just finished a ban) whereas the second, created today, - and a true example of genius, I thought, was called eric m and said, "who cares he gay lol." :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 19:02, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
Oh - I presume it's IP area thing, I don't even understand what an IP code is to start with. I was worried that you banned some random IP who could've awakened from his two year slumber to write a fantastic article on 19th century telegraph poles from the cold streets of Greater Manchester, or something along those lines. Carry on. --nldr 19:06, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
What a great idea for an article! I hope to see 10,000 words by first light tomorrow. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 19:47, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Now that you're an admin[edit source]

All right, you're an admin now so let me get this right. Ahem. RabbiTechno you are so awesomely awesome in your awesome awesomeness that I'm in awesome awe! Did I do that right? Also I think User:Why do I need to provide this? should get half a feature credit for Why?:Do I need to provide this? as he not only Pee Reviewed it he supplied the inspiration. --A Helpful User who knows there's not a chance in hell of getting half credit but was in a goofy mood but couldn't think of anything to write that was actually funny 19:44, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

I agree, provided whoever else wrote the article does too. If that's the case, I don't think anyone is going to be too worried if you add the feature template to your userpage and add half a point to wherever you keep track of things. You might want to check with 'Dillo, however, as I've never really taken any notice of VFH so I don't really know what goes on with all that. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 19:57, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
Sorry, my goof. I realize in retrospect that you wouldn't know what I did or did not do on the article. Honestly, I can't take any credit whatsover for the article; all I did was write a Pee Review. It was Necropaxx' article, not mine. I probably should have posted this on Necropaxx' page, but he like you is too nice of a guy to tell me "Why, go screw yourself." Which I think I'll go do now as it's rather a bit of fun. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:12, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 4/8/10 - Oh hi Signpost.[edit source]

MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 20:04, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Bathory[edit source]

It's finished now. Go read it and tell me what you think. FreddCan Shredd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 08:59 • Friday, 9-04-2010

At the risk of seeming desperate[edit source]

Ban me. Only an hour or two is left! --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 22:41, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

Hm, judging from your contribs, you don't edit during these hours. I'll go beg someone else, but I never expected it would be this hard... --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 22:44, April 9, 2010 (UTC)
I have to say that I find this apathy toward banning me disturbing. I had thought people would be lining up to ban me. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 03:36, April 11, 2010 (UTC)
If I were an admin,
Daidle deedle daidle
Daidle daidle deedle daidle dum.
All day long I'd biddy ban Syndrome.
If I were an Unc admin.
User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig7 04:07, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Semi-protect my userpage[edit source]

I have a feeling my userpage is going to be heavily vandalized by an onslaught of proxy IPs soon, so could you please semi-protect it? —Pelozurian (talk) 06:00, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

Why do they have to be proxies? But don't worry, I'll protect you. --141.149.79.155 06:05, April 11, 2010 (UTC)
I know you will, sweetie. —Pelozurian (talk) 06:11, 11 April 2010 (UTC)
I assume it's OK now? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 07:32, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Un cool people alert!!![edit source]

Hi Rabbi, can you take a look at the recent events on Monarchial Republic of Greece Page: April 8, 2010 [1], and again April 11, 2010 [2], seems we have some pretty uncool people on a loose here, on the other hand not all people understand irony and plain ripping off! Cheers Zullu

Looks like a fairly rubbish couple of edits to me - if you want to revert to your previous version of the article I can't see that anyone will mind. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 14:24, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
Thank you, i worked pretty hard on File:Ancient-modern link.jpg and all the Albert Einstein's time travel theory - Ancient Hellens: Back to the Future story, to see it replaced with "Greeks have invented the western civilisation and brought the light to all those cavemen..." ah ha ha... see y Zullu
I saw your edits when you made them - nice work. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 14:32, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
and again April 12, 2010 [3]... this is getting lame... greek capital: athens, give me a break... give him credit 4 a while so this douchebag pisses off or what? Zullu
Reverted it back to your version for you, try and discuss it with him on the talk page rather than doing this. Feel free to ask me on my talk page if there are any problems. Hope Rabbi doesn't mind me butting in. --ChiefjusticePS3 19:36, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
'Tis fine - I was away all day yesterday anyway. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 08:36, April 14, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 15/4/10 - Yet another on time delivery.[edit source]

--ChiefjusticePS3 20:34, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks![edit source]

I was wondering if anyone thought anything I write is funny. Though the faceplant article is the only one I really feel confident about, since my other three were just random shit. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Ethan9 (talk • contribs)

It's good stuff - anyone into MTB or BMX will get it, as I imagine skaters will too, but as you've not used arcane MTB/BMX terms people who aren't into that sort of stuff will get it too. One thing you might consider adding is "What to do after you've performed a perfect faceplant" - with something about collecting your teeth from the dirt and trying to bleed as much as possible to earn the adoration of the crowd. You could possibly do a "World Faceplant Championships" section too. Just ideas - no need to use them if they don't appeal to you. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 10:55, April 22, 2010 (UTC)

Theological Discussions with the Rabbi[edit source]

You are wrong, God sees all things and is offended by them - do not be fooled by the scientists of this world and their heathen ways, our God is an angry God and he shall have His day.. until that day I am but his humble servant --God-Is-Cool 19:02, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

Your God might be angry, but mine is a pretty chilled out sort of bloke. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 19:03, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

then you are obviously a heathen - or some sort of atheist --God-Is-Cool 19:04, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

Note the word "rabbi" in my name. ;-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 19:05, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

..I was hoping that was merely some sort of joke, for your mortal soul I do humbly pray forgiveness from the true God - at any rate I shall continue.. I have heard God's voice, he has told me the way, he did say "go forth and convert the wicked" - so that is what I shall do.. pray someday the great Lord shall have the mercy and wisdom to speak with you too --God-Is-Cool 19:07, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

I'd pray for your own salvation, but since doing so would necessitate your conversion to Judiasm and we don't got in for proselytising, I can't. On the other hand, since God is infinite in his capacity to forgive, I'm sure you're going to be fine. Do be aware, however, that Uncyclopedia admins are the exact opposite - in fact, they've been known to be vindictive sods at time, so don't blank any more pages, eh? :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 19:12, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

God is infinite in all aspect but not forgiveness - I shall not insult you though for doing so would make me stupid.. all I shall say is this: God hates certain things, he does not forgive all things.. remember that if anything, He told me so himself --God-Is-Cool 19:14, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

I dunno, I think the Rabbi will win this, as he's a sexy and cool admin. God is just cool, not sexy.--Sir ~HELPME~ Count! Awards! Pee! Help! 19:17, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
Yes, I am rather cool and sexy, aren't I? Thanks for reminding me. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 19:31, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

blasphemy is a sin - a terrible curse upon the current world in which we live: how sad it is that we children of God so often take pride in insulting the very being that gave us the ability to walk, talk and evolve --God-Is-Cool 19:18, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

As an atheist, I can say that Nobody cares. Also, when responding to something someone says, use a colon to indent it.
Like this.
And this.
Oh yeah, and this.--Sir ~HELPME~ Count! Awards! Pee! Help! 19:20, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
Atheist scum, may the Lord burn your disease from the face of His planet --God-Is-Cool 19:21, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
I'm actually really excited about hell and eternal damnation, I hear Elvis is doing it. Also, here on Uncyc the admins are the highest power, bow down and repent or I shall roast thee with my eternal fires. --ChiefjusticePS3 19:23, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
I bet God knows how to indent properly /me folds my arms--Sir ~HELPME~ Count! Awards! Pee! Help! 19:25, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
the idiocy of you heathens disgusts me--God-Is-Cool 19:26, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
That dress disgusts me. You cannot wear that with those shoes, baby.--Sir ~HELPME~ Count! Awards! Pee! Help! 19:27, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
Now, if you lot would STOP EDIT CONFLICTING ME ON MY OWN TALKPAGE... ( :-) )...shit. I've forgotten what I was going to say. I do wonder if Helpme would blaspheme less had he have said "God is proper fit and I'd like to give Him a good seeing to" instead. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 19:31, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
That just made me horny. It was supposed to, right?--Sir ~HELPME~ Count! Awards! Pee! Help! 19:32, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
I know how to press your buttons, bitch. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 19:33, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
Now, I'm off to have dinner. I'm sure the Chief will be more than happy to put his banhammer to use if it becomes necessary. Shabbat shalom, chaps. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 19:35, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
And LO! Mightily did Chief swing his blessed banhammer, afore Rabbi Techno even noticed, and thus did He slay the god-botherer. See you tomorrow. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 19:37, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

God said "go forth and convert the wicked"! That's wicked, not wiki! God didn't tell you to go forth and covert the wiki! Spıke ¬ 20:54 23-Apr-10

"Going forth and converting the wiki" might make the basis of an amusing article, actually - new Bible contains a typo, people with the ability to believe but not think for themselves (ie; 99% of all religious people) take it seriously and so on. Hmm... Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 08:05, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

Lo Rabbi[edit source]

Are you in the London area on the 4th of May? I'm hoping to get a pint with my favorite Britishers. Codeine seems to be OK with the date, how is you? ~Jewriken.GIF 06:29, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

Hard to say at present as I have cash flow problems, but I'll try to get something sorted out. Olipro (and possibly Severian) are going to be in London a few days later, I believe around the 6th/7th, so it could be worth talking to him to see if you can make visits overlap - he's been talking about going to a famous bagel shop that recently reopened and is reputed to sell the best salt beef bagels in Europe and wants to go to the Cheshire Cheese, one of London's oldest pubs which when I last went there about ten years back had a damn fine selection of rare single malts. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 06:40, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
Is it this one? What's the easiest way to get there from Euston station? If I can convince you to come over, first round on me. Maybe the 2nd and 3rd as well, depending on how tired I'll be. Which is much. I don't think I remember what sleeping is like anymore :) ~Jewriken.GIF 21:19, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks![edit source]

Thanks...I feel I'm making progress on that article. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Lifelonghate (talk • contribs)

Good - it looks like you are too, so it'll be great to see it finished. Nice to find a new user who takes the advice offered by a tag instead of getting all uppity that someone had the temerity to add anything tot heir article too. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 06:42, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

""Thanks"

I feel as if i'm making slight progress...being able to remove the dead end tag is an honour only bested by being able to tell you how good it is to be able to remove the dead end tag.--Lifelonghate 17:39, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

..ok, I was unaware that an unsigned message still indicates who signed it. The exact same message was resent so you could know who it was from. Not cause I'm weird. Or because I like company. Or because my keyboard feels good. But anyways, don't want you to think I'm a mindless twerp who yearns for praise. Ciao!--Lifelonghate 17:43, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

It doesn't - however, User:Paizuri added the {{unsigned|Lifelonghate}} template after your message, creating the "this unsigned message..." thing you can see. Magic! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 18:05, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1 May[edit source]

Brought to you by fucking magic. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 10:49, 1 May 2010

Bathory[edit source]

April Top 3. Pants. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Lord of Egypt AMUSE ME 11:33, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

UN Spamming[edit source]

I hate to seem like a flyboy, but a handfull of users have been spamming multiple pages with my user name, I wouldn't mind it if they were just using it once or twice, but these guys are putting it 5-10 times in each paragraph. One of the pages was; HowTo:Be Eaten. I won't lie either, when you check the history you'll see that I was alarmed and franticaly trying to get my UN off, and within 48 hours I've fround more pages with my UN slobberd all over the place. Btw on some of the pages, the edits are by an IP addres, but on the page Anger there is actually a username in the history section. Like I said, If it was just one or two times here and there, I would't be taking action. but I see extreme resent in the way they're throwing my name around. I really hope this isn't going to be a burden on the Admin, or piss you guys off. But I feel uncomfortable with it being used like that. --Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 23:50, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

It's just the {{USERNAME}} template. It's a template that shows the username of whoever's looking at it. When I read the page, it shows Paizuri. Nothing to be alarmed about. —Pelozurian (talk) 23:53, 2 May 2010 (UTC)
Hee hee hee Aleister in Chains 23:59 2 5
Sighs, ohhhhh, thats a rele. I worked with radar and sonar, once you do that, you're pretty much F'ed over at simple tasks. Thanks, no REALLY, thanks. My apologies for ruthlesly edting How to be Eaten. I'll revert all the garbage I put in it's place.

--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 00:14, May 3, 2010 (UTC)

I rolled back your edits, so you don't have to do a massive amount of undoing. —Pelozurian (talk) 00:41, 3 May 2010 (UTC)
Thanks, I'm Ex Servenyeian Spec. Forces (CCCP). In my service days if you saw any of your ID forms slobbered all over the f'ing place, It ussualy meant you were about to be unfairly court martialed and then FUCKED UP. so I kinda freaked out and lost it there. its part of the PTS thing. Otherwise I might not have thought anything of it.

--Soviet Butt Munch Hissy Tantrum 01:09, May 3, 2010 (UTC)

Firstly, apologies for not having been around to help - but I see Paizuri and Aleister were on hand and have performed the task admirably. Secondly, don't worry or feel too stupid - most of us have been caught out by the dreaded username template at some point. Several times, in my case. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 16:08, May 4, 2010 (UTC)

David Miliband[edit source]

I think this has stalled. Did you want to do the honours? Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 21:21, May 4 2010 UTC

Looks like you're right. Unleash the huff monsters! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 12:52, May 5, 2010 (UTC)

English Beer[edit source]

Thanks for the redirects, I didn't even know Real Ale existed. Appreciated. Since I'm here, do you or does anyone else know what happened to MadMax? Is he alright, just taking a break? Al des chain 16:21 11 5 MMX

No probs, glad to be of service and all that. Now you mention it, I vaguely remember MadMax saying something about taking a break - best to do so once in a while, I find, because Uncyclopedia can have serious negative effects on the old mental balance. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 16:24, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
Good, I had hoped so. Breaks are good, yes. I just looked at Real Ale, and had no idea it was here. Seems to be some overlap, although I'll go back and read it closer, and will let HELPME know it is around as well (see his talk page for the mentions of Warm piss water). DrStrange also left for awhile, and I confirmed he's alive and playing frisbee tag. Al sans chains 16:30 11 5 MMX
Wrote it a while ago now. Possibly a bit of tl;dr article for many people. I wouldn't worry about overlap, Uncyc's easily big enough for that not to be a problem these days (which is good, of course, since it means we don't have to put so much effort into being original). Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 16:40, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
Warm piss water was a VFD save, I worked on it just enough to save it, and then HELPME gave an offhand challenge about me getting it featured, and I told him I'd work on it until he featured it or said it was of quality. That's where it stands now, and I've been working on it to irk HELPME (and if it's turning into a good page that's a side-benefit). I won't read yours until after that point, to not spork, but please read it and if you see any outright overlap please let me know. I've added yours to see also and also a high on the page link. Thanks, Al des chains 16:50 11 5 mmx
I read it quickly whilst attempting to sort out the serpentine chaos of cables that lives behind the television ('cos we got a new DVD player) - ever tried doing that with two ferrets "helping" you? - but it looks like you did a good job; I even laughed once or twice and I'm a miserable bastard. Although there's some overlap, there's an insufficient amount to leave you open to accusations of plagiarism - and anyway, if anyone says you copied it I'll disagree and say you'd not seen Real Ale until now. Banhammers are an excellent way of persuading people to believe you, I find. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 16:58, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
One more question as you fight the ferrets for control of the cables (just don't let them have the remote when you've finished). Does your page have mention anything about beer awards or the Olympics? That's the only other section and mention I was going to add. Thanks again, Al sans chains 17:04 standard Ferret time 11 5 MMX
You and the IP's that brung ya. Al des chains 21:42 11 5 MMX
Nope, you're all clear on those. Though it does now occur to me that I could have had a "Best Beer Awards" section...oh well. Too late now. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 17:08, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
Because I gave the challenge to make it better, if it gets featured, I DESERVE half credit. SIR Arrogant Prick [worship me]

What did you huff Gattaca for?[edit source]

What did you huff Gattaca for? It's almost as if you take this seriously. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 124.197.10.135 (talk • contribs)

Because, despite being three and a half hours old, it was two lines long. That's more than enough to make an "article" a candidate for deletion if it doesn't have a {{construction}} tag on it. Also, yes: I do take this seriously. After more than four years of writing articles and editing this site, I've come to care about it and I take maintaining it and trying to improve quality very seriously - all admins do, despite the fact that we act like four-year-olds most of the time. However, that's actually in your favour because provided you're going to work on it and develop it into a proper article, you can have a copy of Gattaca back - but you'll need to sign up for an Uncyclopedia account first, so I can restore it to your userspace. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 07:36, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

Hey rabbi[edit source]

The blood countess is at risk of being raped by a prancing wizard. Divine intervention is needed at the Top 10/April page. Thankyewverymuch. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA Lord of Egypt AMUSE ME 06:54, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

This[edit source]

Is brilliant. --ChiefjusticePS3 12:11, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

I thought so - can't claim to have thought it up myself though, as it apparently appeared on a wall in Haifa and came to me via the internets! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 12:39, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Quick Question for you[edit source]

A trade publication is writing a story about how user-generated articles are becoming more valuable than paid-for articles, and they wanted to know if we had any users who might be interested in talking to them about their experiences with Wikia. Is this something you would be interested in doing? If so could you please email me at sena at wiki-inc.com. I'll need your Name, Email, Phone number and geographic location. Thanks for your time, and please let me know either way. Sena<staff /> 16:56, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

a quick note from our PR person,

1) Wikia won't give personal contact info to a reporter. I can arrange an interview where we use a dial in number and everyone dials into the call. We do need their real name and most likely the city/state where they live. They may be asked their profession, but that can be vague ("I'm in finance." "I'm in education." etc..) 2) The interview will focus on why they like using Wikia sites and what motivates them, keeps them engaged, etc. 3) From a time investment standpoint, the call with me will be about 30 minutes, and the call with the reporter will take 15-20 minutes. 4) I will be on the call with the reporter and can "shield" them if needed. That said, I've worked with this reporter before, and find him to be professional and above board, and don't expect any probing questions. Plus, he's very positive about Wikia.

If this is OK with them, I can then spend time discussing the details of the interview via phone.

let me know if this is something you could help with. Sena<staff /> 18:49, May 18, 2010 (UTC)

Jet Lag[edit source]

Hi Rabbi! I was surprised and encouraged to find HowTo:Beat jet lag featured on the how to page. I'm stoked! And wanted to mention about the "(more...)" link goes to another article. I'm not sure if that's correct. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:02, May 22

Fixed. --ChiefjusticePS3 19:09, May 22, 2010 (UTC)
Dude! Hanging around you experts is most beneficial and a genuine privilege, I'm happy to say. Thanks & cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:33, May 22
It was surprising and encouraging for me to find something featurable - it seems to get trickier every week (though not as much as with Why? since hardly anyone ever writes Why?s). Thanks for sorting out the link, Chief, I pretty much always forget to change that bit but usually remember a few minutes later. Not this time, though. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 11:24, May 23, 2010 (UTC)

Reasons not to be a devout Christian[edit source]

Hey, I just noticed that you've taken over the re-write tag for that article, which is fair enough cause I know ive not written on it for a while, but I'll probably start again fairly soon if thats ok with you. If not just drop me a message on my talk page and i'll lay off. --DougalJabber at me. 13:39, May 25, 2010 (UTC)

That tag just links to whoever the last person to edit the page happened to be - currently, me. So, in other words, I have no interest in the article and would be eminently unqualified to rewrite it anyway - it's all yours. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 13:43, May 25, 2010 (UTC)

Lo[edit source]

Are you free to have a little IRC later on today or during the weekend? ~Jewriken.GIF 15:06, May 27, 2010 (UTC)

Any time - including right now, if you want. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 15:18, May 27, 2010 (UTC)
Right now at work, it will probably be pretty late today. I'll just pop over to see if you're around. ~Jewriken.GIF 15:27, May 27, 2010 (UTC)
Probably on for another two hours or so, also all day tomorrow and possibly Saturday too. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 15:28, May 27, 2010 (UTC)

--Ohnogodnotagain 20:44, May 29, 2010 (UTC)\Hi!! Noob. I know. I had a welcome message from ethine, who told me to use the signature and time stamp when I do stuff. Should I click on it before I edit anything? And do I reply/message by pressing the + button?, and should the replies to me be in my 'my talk', cos there's never anything in there. I really don't know wtf Im doing, you know. Please Please help, and don't scare me too much!!

OK, here is the thing, sign after your messages, just look at what we all do. To reply just go to the section and click where it says edit and add your reply underneath, use the preview button to make sure you have done it right. If someone leaves you a message it is up to you where you respond, most users respond where the message was left, if you are really concerned the person won't see it then leave the message on their page. Replies to other people should also be left in the same place as the comment you are replying too. I hope this helps. --ChiefjusticePS3 21:27, May 29, 2010 (UTC)
Helps a lot, many many thanks. (I've cast the runes to erase 'British Big Cats' from your memory, and am working on another article, for which I apologise in advance). --Ohnogodnotagain 07:52, May 30, 2010 (UTC)
Seems the Chief was on hand and has answered your queries. One bit of advice I'd like to add: when in the forest, never never stray from the path - there are elves. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 09:01, May 30, 2010 (UTC)
Yes, the Chief has had to deal with me twice now, and I'm pretending the Chief is my friend. I am fully aware that I embark on a dangerous venture and shall bear the the scars for my folly; but into the deep, dark forest - go I must. --Ohnogodnotagain 13:30, May 30, 2010 (UTC)

Uncool people alert 2, the comeback![edit source]

Where if not on the Monarchial Republic of Greece national page?

[4] [5] [6] all the detalies here: [7]

Summary: Some people have missed the point of uncyclopedia or are just plain lame borring, probably both.

Examples:

  • Capital of Greece: Athens
  • Official languages: Greek
  • National Hero(es): Alexander the Greek
  • Major exports: Culture

(the rest of the lame edits is in the current warring revert version)

Are we on wikipedia? Has someone changed uncyclopedia for wikipedia?

Can you take a look plz.. thanks Zullu 11:05, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

  • While I'm inclined to prefer your edits, Ptolemy is likely to have his or her own reasons for reverting them. Rather than allow this to become an issue - which most things tend to when admins get involved - I'd suggest you talk to him/her on his/her talkpage and see if you can come to some conclusion. If not, it might be worth starting a forum page on the Village Dump to find out which version the community prefers. An admin arguing for democracy, eh? Who'd have ever thought that could happen? :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 11:50, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

The Platinum Apostrophe[edit source]

I literally loled when I saw this. I just had a hard, tiring workday, so thanks for giving me something to laugh about. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:28, June 7, 2010 (UTC)

You've joined an elite group - not many people have been awarded that one! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 08:28, June 7, 2010 (UTC)

Why did you huff my article?[edit source]

Hi why did you just "huff" the Fanboy And Chum Chum article? What does that even mean? ~Yojunemeow

Pick any one of the following answers.
  • Two reasons - one, an article on the same subject was huffed a few days ago and two, it didn't seem to be Uncyclopedia material. However, if you'd like a copy back I'm more than happy to provide you with one in your userspace where you can work on it for as long as you wish without it getting huffed or hacked to bits by other users.
  • I'm an admin and all admins are bastards.
:-)Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 16:22, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

Yes I would like a copy back, this time I will work harder, and put random celebs and characters as the voices like on other cartoons.--Yojunemeow 16:34, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

That's what we like to hear. You can find the article here. When you're done, either copy and paste it into a newly created mainspace page and add the userpage to QVFD, use the move function or ask someone for assistance. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 16:50, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

Okay, what do you think so far?--Yojunemeow 17:48, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

It's definitely looking better than it was, but at the moment it's more or less a list and lists tend to get deleted very quickly. I find it helps to add images - either images you've made or stuff you find online - as this tends to give you ideas for things to write about. I've never seen the show so I have no idea what it's all about, but a section outlining what happens in an episode might be good as it'll give you opportunity to satirise the concept. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 18:08, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

Do you mean a real episode? And how do I put images? (I tried.) As long as it does not include uploading them to my computer I should be able to do it.--Yojunemeow 12:44, June 9, 2010 (UTC)

Either a real one or a fictitious one - the choice is yours. Adding images is a lot easier if you download them onto your computer first and then upload to the Uncyclopedia server. You can delete them from your machine immediately afterwards, so there's no need to worry about hard drive space. Add them into the article with this: [[File:IMAGENAMEHERE.jpg|thumb|200px|CAPTION HERE]]. If you change the 200px you can make them larger or smaller and if you add left| after thumb| the image will appear on the left. Also, if that doesn't work, let me or any other regular know and we'll show you. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 11:28, June 10, 2010 (UTC)

Something about something, or something[edit source]

well, yes i do need help i'm pretty new to uncyclopedia (as writwer). And i'm dutch which causes me to not grasp things as good as everybody else. So yeah i'd like help.

No problems - we do try to be helpful and friendly to any new users who are willing to ask for assistance :-). Is it the Chaos article you want to rewrite? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 15:16, June 11, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, seeing that at first it was about flying vagina's I thought i can do better. (and you knew how about me wanting to change chaos?) And yes i already changed the first bit. Do you like?--Gingerbreadlord 15:23, June 11, 2010 (UTC)

Rabbinical powers...actually, I just looked at your contributions and saw you'd made a change to the article already (also yes, your alteration seems fine to me) ;-). If you click this link, it'll give you the option to create the userspace page - just edit it as you would a normal Uncyclopedia page. Let me know if you want it proofread for spellings and so on. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 15:28, June 11, 2010 (UTC)

That thing you wrote to Mhaille?[edit source]

Didn't exactly came out like you wanted it to. Something about a dick, a hippy and a goy?! ~Jewriken.GIF 16:46, June 11, 2010 (UTC)

I had a feeling it wouldn't, and it's yet another lesson to me that I really ought to learn to speak, read and write Hebrew properly instead of using online translators. It was supposed to say, "stick your hippy language up your arse." Interesting that the translator should render "arse" as "goy" though. Come to think of it, A Dick, A Hippy and a Goy would make an excellent name for a band. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 16:59, June 11, 2010 (UTC)
Oh, and Shabbat shalom by the way. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 17:00, June 11, 2010 (UTC)
Looked at it again and said: "stick language hippy yours ass yours goy!". Interesting. And a gitte shabas! ~Jewriken.GIF 20:35, June 11, 2010 (UTC)
That's more or less the right words at least. So long as you were able to speak Hebrew and were good at solving cryptic crosswords, you'be able to make sense of it eventually. Anyway, it's a pity you can't smell my cholent which has been in the oven since 6 yesterday evening - if the scent is anything to go by, it's going to be a good one. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 08:45, June 12, 2010 (UTC)

RabbiTechnoFacts[edit source]

“What martial arts did RabbiTechno study? I'll tell you what, pal, RabbiTechno can stick Martial Arts, and his deputy, up Jet Li's ass!”

~ Funnybony on RabbiTechno
  • In fact: If Jesus Christ were to not hit his thumb with a hammer he would shout, "RabbiTechno!" Cheers!!!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:39, Jun 20
Have you been eating wild mushrooms without checking them in the guidebook again...? )Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 11:55, June 20, 2010 (UTC)
How did you know? Those Anita Mascara 'shrooms is kickin' my fancy kaleidoscopic arse, and there's no turning back..YAAAAA...
  • RabbiTechno has a computer program, which can accurately answer: Maybe or Perhaps.
  • Never tell RabbiTechno, “Go fuck yourself!” Penalty: Boredom.
  • Who was the first person to reach the summit of RabbiTechno?
  • RabbiTechno is only a Rabbi because God was taken.
  • Once RabbiTechno stops being your enemy, he never starts.
  • A Punji Stick never once stepped on RabbiTechno.
  • RabbiTechno is the brain-child of Uncyclopedia.
  • RabbiTechno would accept your article if not for the article.
  • RabbiTechno has the hots. Period.
  • As Admins go, RabbiTechno comes.
  • If you are able to read this thank RabbiTechno.

The Rabbi-Techno One-verse Blues (To the tune of Bad to the Bone)
On the day he was born, the nurses all gathered 'round
And they gazed in wide wonder, at the joy they had found
The head nurse spoke up, and she said let this one go
She could tell right away, that he was Rabbi-Techno,
Rabbi-Techno
R-R-R-R-Rabbi
Rabbi-Techno!
Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 15:04, Jun 20

The UnSignpost Is Not Dead![edit source]

A new UnSignpost issue, another template spammed onto your talkpage, enjoy! Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 14:47, 24 June 2010

Unsign Post[edit source]

Your eminence, I really enjoy these. But it's too bad that these people getting banned don't have usernames, because they're all just numbers.. which makes it too impersonal to be as funny as it really is. It's like McBeth without character names or faces. I did my bit toward getting people to become registered users with usernames, with the question, How to be an Uncyclopedia Beach LOCAL answered HERE - as you so kindly pointed out. The answer should be simple: REGISTER, you fucking number, you! Hehe! Wishful thinking. Perhaps the Admins, like RabbiTechno, should make the system that ONLY registered users can edit or contribute anything. Users MUST register, and give up their invisable "numbership" if they want to play. Ban the numbers!. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 20:31, Jun 28

There was already a discussion about that. Or six. Every time it has been denied. Also, hi Rabbi.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Monday, 08:45, June 28 2010 UTC
The trouble is, these unsigned users keep creating good stuff which in many cases ends up becoming a favourite - kitten huffing being one example. Hence, despite many previous discussions on whether or not we should ban unregistered IPs from editing, we continue to allow them to do so. Buggers. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 11:14, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

Spare some small change[edit source]

Your eminence, can you spare a vote to an old man? I mean, can god vote? My dear old Post Apocalypse has taken firm shape over one year, and recent total rewrite based on Pee, plus with complete editing by Alister. I can't think how to make it better, neither can they. Maybe the subject of apocalypse scares people away. Right now it's 7-0 for an FA. There's a cyber BJ for a vote to keep it alive. That is, if you find it now worthy, as much has changed toward humor since its NOM. So this is an SOS! Actually, if you vote against it then it may actually happen. So the fate of the world is up to you alone! Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 22:49, Jun 28

Seems I'm too late - so either it failed or it succeeded without my vote. having just had a look at the article, I'm hoping the latter (but am too lazy to find out). :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 11:32, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

All the news that's unfit to print![edit source]

--ChiefjusticePS3 12:16, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

UnPhD[edit source]

Your holiness, please excuse me, I don't mean to bother you. But I had a little idea, and you being a god an all I better ask you. Some articles deserve FA, but some FAs are so extensive as to almost be UnThesis for an UnDoctorate. It seems like being an UnPhD is better than anything!? What about using standard Thesis parameters and format and allowing writers who really take the trouble to write UnThesis, and earn UnPhD ? It may all be a stupid idea, but it might be worth a second of your time to consider. It may be possible, I suppose, as "impossible" is a word in the "fool's dictionary". Begging pardon! Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 18:50, Jul 1

Might be a project to revive the Uncycloversity, god rest its soul. ~Jewriken.GIF 07:41, July 2, 2010 (UTC)
Damn you! that was my great idea! Bloody edit conflicts... anyway I was going to suggest giving them out by department, so UnPhD of Biological Science for something about animals and such or an UnPhD of Theological Studies for an artical about God etc. --DougalJabber at me. 07:45, July 2, 2010 (UTC)
Sure! For a thesis about God could be UnD.Div. Cheers--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 08:22, Jul 2
Sounds like it might involve effort to me. 'Dillo's suggestion re. Uncycloversity might be worth looking into - you could probably just walk in and take over as it appears to be pretty much dead. I wouldn't mind the Professorship of Recreational Pharmacology if the post is vacant. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 09:33, July 2, 2010 (UTC)
Wouldnt be to hard unless we decide to do awards for things that have already been written, if we just did it for new stuff it'd be pretty easy... --DougalJabber at me. 10:00, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

Kiwi Grenade[edit source]

Why did you delete my page? i just made a kiwi grenade on paint to put on it!!! Kiwi grenade.jpg

As it had been unedited for an hour, I assumed it was a one-line stub (which in general are deleted on sight). However, if you're going to add to it (you'll need to add more than an image, however, as some other admin'll delete it without more content) I'll be more than happy to recreate it. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 13:21, July 3, 2010 (UTC)

ok thanx :) i'll add some more content

By the way, remember to sign posts on talkpages and forums (but not on articles). Just type four tildes (~~~~) at the end and your username will appear with a timestamp. Good luck with the article! :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 13:25, July 3, 2010 (UTC)

Issues[edit source]

It appears that I am currently unable to edit certain forum pages and the VFD page. Don't why this is happening, figured you might be able to lend a hand or shed some light. -- Sir SF13 (Talk) Upsilon Sigma Sigma's last completed collaboration GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 03:04 EST 7 July, 2010

A couple of other users have been experiencing the same problem just lately, it seems, but it's all a bit of a mystery as to why (like them, there's no signs of you in the blocked users list). I think you'll be best off taking this up with Sannse as it seems to be a technical problem at Wikia (Mordillo is aware of it too - don't know if he can do anything, but he's likely to be around in the near future whereas Sannse probably won't be around for eleven hours or so yet, so it might be worth asking him). Sorry I can't help! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 07:10, July 7, 2010 (UTC)
It's OK, I think I got it. Sawblade5 had added something to his sig that stopped editing. I removed it and banned his ass as a warning. Let me know if the problem persists. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 08:58, Jul 7
Well spotted! :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 09:05, July 7, 2010 (UTC)

Signpost: normal service resumed[edit source]

Oh dear god, am I really doing this again? --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 10:57, Jul 9

66.168.177.28[edit source]

I think that is Dexter, based on this edit and this one. Also, random thought: In January, I'm going to nominate you for UotY for all you do here. So don't leave until February 2011, OK? :)--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 07:43, July 10 2010 UTC

Leave Uncyclopedia? You think that after more than four years that's even an option? You know those angler fish thingies, where the male becomes attached to the female and eventually withers into nothing but a sack of sperm, hanging from the female after she absorbs all other nutrients in the male's body into her own? Well, that's what happens to Uncyclopedians after three years. My only advice is save yourself before it's too late - swim quickly away and evolve into something with a better life.

Secondly, that's really most awfully kind of you; although my contributions are small when compared to the likes of Sannse, 'Dillo, Mhaille and others. Nevertheless, I won't turn down a chance to add the most coveted award of them all to my trophy cabinet. :-)

Thirdly - what I said about poopsmithing on ban patrol. Would you fancy doing it? You seem to be around enough and evidently have the ability to recognise cyberbullying when the rest of us miss it - plus, you get a special hat, all the girls will fancy you and it's a great addition to your cv/résumé. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 07:53, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

Just saw what you wrote on there. I'll talk to 'Dillo. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 07:55, July 10, 2010 (UTC)
Mhaille and 'dillo won already. So did UU, before you talk. :)

Oh, and you edit conflicted me as revenge for edit conflicting you in April, didn't you? Bastard.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 07:57, July 10 2010 UTC

I made the most of my teenage years - you think I can remember what happened an hour ago, never mind April? Anyway, just left a message on 'Dillo's talkpage. Unless he has anything against it, I'll see to it that you get poopsmithised as soon as possible. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 08:02, July 10, 2010 (UTC)
Is getting "poopsmithised" a painful process? Does it involve needles?
Just the one needle. As it's full of medical grade heroin, the remainder of the process is absolutely painless. Once the heroin has caused you to slip into unconsciousness, the next stage involves being stripped, trussed, oiled and left in Olipro's Dungeon of Love, so there may be some mild discomfort around the anal area for a few weeks afterwards. However, I'm sure you will understand that this is a vital part of the procedure and in no way intended merely to provide amusement for watching admins and/or increasing Wikia's profits when they sell the photographs to porn websites. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 08:15, July 10, 2010 (UTC)
You obviously don't know how kinky I am. My anal area is used to it. Trust me.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 08:18, July 10 2010 UTC
Excellent news! You'll fit right in. As will Olipro, if you know what I mean. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 08:22, July 10, 2010 (UTC)
Orian won't be too happy about this...--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 08:28, July 10 2010 UTC
Oh, and I'll probably need your help in my first 'smithing if I get the job. I managed to mess up my first pee review (italicized all of the text somehow) my first VFD votes (Proposed an ICU on a page a year old) and my first QVFD entry (misread the rules and put an article over a week old) and more. I don't do well with first tries. :)--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 08:04, July 10 2010 UTC
I got banned a couple of times for similar things - putting stuff less than a week old on VFD and suchlike. Smithing is an easy job though, you'll pick it up no problem. All it really involves is archiving QVFD, VFD, BP and whatever else needs archiving these days and checking the Poopsmith's Lounge from time to time to see if anyone's added anything to it. Oh, and making the tea, going down to shops for biscuits and stuff. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 08:21, July 10, 2010 (UTC)
I make no guarantee that I won't eat the biscuits on the way back.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 08:28, July 10 2010 UTC
Probably do us a favour that way - we admins are looking a bit lardy these days. Oh, and congratulations on just becoming a poopsmith! Do feel free to move/remove the template if you wish - it's not the best one ever. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 08:31, July 10, 2010 (UTC)
Is that guy supposed to be me? I'm not fat! Am I?
Serious moment: do you archive QVFD when there are a bunch of red links, or just on new days?--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 08:35, July 10 2010 UTC
There are no hard and fast rules - you can either do it daily or several times daily if you wish. If there are any functioning links rather than just red ones, check them out and if they seem like crappy articles to you then either leave them there or add them to the next day's selection. Most admins will leave some form of comment (those of us that have the ability to write, anyway) if they've had a look and decided to let it live. When to create a new archive is pretty much your choice - I tended to do it each month, except in the case of BP which I did whenever an old archive became long enough to slow my browser. Don't worry too much if you can't check everything daily, as myself, UU and Chief all archive stuff from time to time. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 08:45, July 10, 2010 (UTC)
I'll probably do the same for BP as I do for my talk page- archive it when I get a banner while editing that says "it may help to move old discussions to an archive subpage." Although, I'll probably mess that up.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 08:48, July 10 2010 UTC
I don't think you will - there's honestly nothing to it. Even I never messed it up, even though I live in a cave in 6712 BCE and am utterly unfamiliar with any technology more advanced that pointy sticks. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 08:53, July 10, 2010 (UTC)
So much sexual innuendo. Aren't you supposed to be a pure and holy Rabbi?
Oh yeah, and I just attempted to archive QVFD. Did I mess up?--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 09:01, July 10 2010 UTC
You haven't met many rabbis, have you? Also, no - I watched you do it and you did it exactly the correct way. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 09:08, July 10, 2010 (UTC)
You never really can tell on the streets. Not all Rabbis have beards and wave Jewish flags everywhere like you.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 09:18, July 10 2010 UTC

Just soma thanks[edit source]

Rabbi – blessed be thine name. I must be a bloody mind reader.

Cheers--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 20:12, Jul 10

Like I said, it deserved to be featured (and since I decide what gets featured on HowTo, it got featured) because it's a great article. Also, it has pretty colours. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 20:15, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

Today is my birthday[edit source]

And thus, I require a ban. UU did it for Orian. Do you want to be outshined by that blimey British chap?--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Sunday, 06:36, July 11 2010 UTC

Today's your birthday? I hope the good Rabbi gives you a nice long birthday ban. —Pelozurian (talk) 06:37, 11 July 2010 (UTC)
Yeah, July 11th.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Sunday, 06:39, July 11 2010 UTC
Happy birthday and please enjoy your forthcoming birthday ban - I'd ban you for longer, but one never knows when we'll need to make an announcement over the PA system, rather like the tannoy in Asda/Walmart (delete according to national preference): "Poopsmith to aisle five, poopsmith to aisle five - wet spillage, specifically a large pile of poop. Poopsmith to aisle five." Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 06:43, July 11, 2010 (UTC)
Well, I'm sure not sleeping, so I might as well. It's 2:46AM here. I hate insomnia. (Fun fact:I got the poopsmith position at about 5:30AM. I went to sleep at 6:30.)--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Sunday, 06:48, July 11 2010 UTC
Serves you right, you barbarian foreigner. 7.49am here, been up since 6 as our flat is east-facing so in summer I wake up at that time with the sun shining in and baking my head. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 06:49, July 11, 2010 (UTC)
Ha! My house faces northward, so I don't wake up until past noon. :) Actually, on the 10th I woke up at 3. PM. Good job on the ban, by the way. Only Mhaille could have done better.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Sunday, 06:56, July 11 2010 UTC
They have a talent for bannination, those northern pagans - must be something they learn while making stone circles and dream catchers, the godless heathens. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 06:59, July 11, 2010 (UTC)
I went in one of Mhaille's stone circles once. It's why I'm gay.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Sunday, 07:02, July 11 2010 UTC
I seem to recall reading somewhere a theory that the stone circle represents female genitalia, and thus when we enter one we are symbolically returning to the womb of Gaia/the Earth Mother. I suppose one would need make only the slightest errors in placing the stones to end up with a representation of the anus of the Earth Father. That would explain all sorts of things. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 07:13, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Hello[edit source]

The recent revisions I did to Listen Up Guys is actually a parody of some IP's rant against racism on Uncyclopedia, or something.--M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag 07:08, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Ah - didn't spot that it was by you. Since you're a known, trusted user and all that, feel free to remove the ICU. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 07:13, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Closing VFH pages[edit source]

Okay, to close a VFH page, you have to put this template:

{{vfh failed| |sig= Your sig |stamp= Timestamp |comment= Reason why you closed it }}

And yeah, fill out the necessary things. I could have done it, but I just feel more comfortable having and admin do it per the nature of voting pages (you know how people can become upset if a vote doesn't end the way they want it and whatnot). MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 11:48, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

If you look at my JS file, there's a script there that adds the feature and removal options to the VFH page. ~Jewriken.GIF 11:50, July 11, 2010 (UTC)
Thankyou, chaps. Hope my second attempt is OK - never really had much to do with VFH before. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 11:55, July 11, 2010 (UTC)
No prob. But I have one question: Why am I still up? I'm tired, I still have a headache from the vuvuzela sound on the podcast (which you guys should totally listen to) and from someone who really angered me in the past day (whose damn voice won't get out of my head), and there isn't a damn thing interesting on TV. Think it's the headache preventing me from getting to sleep? MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 12:01, July 11, 2010 (UTC)
That's one of the advantages of being into cycling rather than football - as of yet, no vuvuzelas sighted at this year's Tour de France. Lots of people ringing handbells for some reason, though. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 12:03, July 11, 2010 (UTC)
At the last estimate, doing anything with JS was precisely seven hundred km beyond my technical capability - if I try to copy some from your file and add it to mine, I'll almost certainly break the Internet into tiny pieces. However, I can still copy and paste the template so I'll stick with that method! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 12:12, July 11, 2010 (UTC)
JT, I've placed the code in your CSS file, do a hard refresh and then go to VFH, you should see the feature/remove buttons next to the article name. ~Jewriken.GIF 16:11, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

On Friday you came my userpage with Jewish ramblings and a Welsh sheep...[edit source]

And I was trying to weedle out of you how old you are, but you buggered off. I have you somewhere in the the late twenties, but whereas some people are easy to tell roughly, you are a little bit of a challenge. I was going to play it nice and let you think telling me was your idea, but these things niggle and you are bit immune to my 'charms'. So how old are you, or a very narrow field for a very close 'guesstamate'?...;-)--Sycamore (Talk) 18:34, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

JT does have the body of a twenty year old, in the boot of his car... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
I'm 98, and a cripple. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 18:40, July 11, 2010 (UTC)
We want information, and by hook or by crook, we'll get it...--Sycamore (Talk) 18:43, July 11, 2010 (UTC)
Oh, OK then. I'm 35, 36 in November. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 18:49, July 11, 2010 (UTC)
Hey I was out, but not by too much. I thought Mhaille was 14 with his fondness of Duke Nukem and childish schoolboy humour, turns out he's a professional and subsists off processed cheese.--Sycamore (Talk) 19:01, July 11, 2010 (UTC)
Fondness for childish schoolboy humour is no indication of age, merely Britishness. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 19:08, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

You're a pedo- I'm 17, and you talked to me about sexual stuff. Creep.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Sunday, 07:19, July 11 2010 UTC

You led me on, you filthy little Lolita. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 13:13, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

BANANA!!![edit source]

Banana is a nice word, don't you think, oh and er, what do you think of my contributions; write what you think of them on my talk page. – Preceding unsigned comment added by NeuroticNinjaPirate666 (talk • contribs)

I'll have a look tomorrow, when I have more time. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 13:11, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

BANANA BANANA[edit source]

So good they named it twice.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

I thought that was the South African football team? --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 12:51, Jul 12

APRICOT![edit source]

A much better word and fruit than the banana. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 13:12, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

You have always been a much better judge of fruit than I, sir.....although I would argue the case for Kumquats any day of the week.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Kumquats are pretty good, but vastly inferior to lychees if you ask me. Not least of all because, when peeled, lychees so closely resemble eyeballs - and who doesn't enjoy a nice tasty eyeball? I had one of those dragon fruit the other day - they look fantastic but taste like a kiwi fruit would do if kiwi fruit only had half the flavour they actually have. Cost me £1.30 as well, the bastard. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 13:18, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

Oh year![edit source]

Forget the contributions thing i wrote earlyer. and how to I become an admin? and how do i get rewards. NeuroticNinjaPirate666 18:03, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

Unfortunately, now you've asked how to become an admin you've failed the test - Uncyclopedia adminship is not something one chooses, rather a tragic affliction that some of us must bear. More seriously, it's not a matter of just putting your name forward: every now and then, when it is deemed necessary, we hold an election process which, during this time, is known as Vote for Sysop (the rest of the time, it's Vote for Sandwiches. This vote may be held once a month, once a year or even more rarely. When it happens, users may nominate other users for adminship and we then vote on which ones will get admin rights. Once the vote is over, a second admin-only vote is held - admins hold the final say and may decide to elect two, one or no new admins.

Right now, when you've only been with us, I'd forget it as you'll need to have been around a lot longer to be in with any chance - I'd been here for four years before becoming an admin. In the meantime, write articles (all admins here are productive writers), get to know everyone and how the place works and help out by tracking down and reverting vandalism. If you stick with it, you'll be able to request rollback rights which allow you to carry out certain tasks more efficiently. The next step would, in most cases, be taking on poopsmith duties - this entails doing as much work as an admin but getting few if any reward for it. Finally, at some point in the future, adminship is a possibility for those users who have earned the trust of the community and shown themselves to be competent (so exactly how in hell I ever became an admin remains a bit of a mystery, really). Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 13:09, July 13, 2010 (UTC)

As for rewards - what sort of rewards do you mean? Are you talking about things such as UotM, WotM, featured articles and the like? Once again, the only way is to write articles and help out - the community will recognise your contributions. If you write an article that you think has the potential to be a feature, put it up for a Pee Review - that's the easiest way to bring it to people's attention, and once reviewed you can nominate it on VFH yourself as you tried to do with that other article recently. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 13:14, July 13, 2010 (UTC)

Gallows Humour[edit source]

Needs a bit of tweaking, but I think its almost there....feel free to augment as you see fit... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

I shall have a look - once today's Tour de France stage is over. Have completely forgotten why I wanted to link to it from BIBLE! now, though - pity, it seemed a pretty funny idea at the time. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 14:49, July 13, 2010 (UTC)
Sammy Canchez is looking good to compete with Schleck and Contador. I've watched much of the last hour or so. Aleister 12:59 13 7. p.s. Oh, yeah, very good article too. 40.
p.s.s. And Chanchez, spoke too soon. He should just take a sharp left turn and end it all.
Or is it Sanchez...? Either way, his racing tuck is outstanding - he looks more aerodynamic than a falcon. Was interesting to see Schleck earlier with a big grin on his face like he was out on a Sunday ride to the pub, with Contador on his back wheel - and thus using far less energy - grimacing like a man in abject agony. Makes me think that in a year or two Schleck is going to prove to be one of the greats, up there with the likes of Indurain and Hinault. Geraint Thomas is going to be a rider to watch in years to come too, so maybe we're going to have the British winner we thought we'd have this year had Wiggins not have decided to play about. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 15:09, July 13, 2010 (UTC)

Regarding this edit summary[edit source]

I did a bunch of archiving that night- I only left the stuff that wasn't deleted. I have no idea why it took two days to delete some stuff. >:/--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Tuesday, 05:21, July 13 2010 UTC

Oh, I shouldn't worry - odd things like that happen sometimes and I don't mind doing a bit of archiving (I was only joking in the edit summary!) Keep up the good work. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 17:30, July 13, 2010 (UTC)
There was such a huge backlog last night- people need to check QVFD more than that.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Tuesday, 05:39, July 13 2010 UTC

You deleted one of my article[edit source]

You know which one it is...

I guess it should have been, i couldn't think of a good one to start it off...and no one was adding.

BUT I DIDN'T ABANDON IT!..i am loyal..sorta.

Just saying, i didn't abandon nothing, although your correct, it was going nowhere.

Oh by the way, i haven't checked but i hope you fixed up the 100 worst list. It was on it, and if ou didn't...well your fault not mine...i think.

Oh 1 question, are you actually Jewish? --Happymonkey39 LAZAR.gifWeegeeheadbobin.gifDomo kun dance1.gif Dah Meme Master 00:14, July 14, 2010 (UTC)

(The Jews are running Uncyclopedia. It's a conspiracy, man!)fj0j3ddjoaw;rfjaew (r30qjd) 00:20, 14 July 2010 (UTC)
oh god it's funny when this happens...I asked if he was jewish cause i actually am -_-"...u feel bad now DONT YA! It's like that time i was at mcdonalds, and the guy in the line beside me was like "don't be so cheep, ya jew", so they started laughing, i stared to aswell, they look at me and go "man that kids so cheep!". And i was like...well you know where this is going, but it's fun as hell to do that...i really should put that jewish template on my userpage shouldn't i? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Happymonkey39 (talk • contribs)
Happymonkey נעים מאוד. Pages with construction tags that are left unedited for a week become candidates for deletion as, in most cases, a page left that long will never be completed and just sits there rotting away on the servers. However, if you'd like a copy back I'll be more than happy to restore it to a userspace page where it can remain for as long as you need (but if you do abandon it, let an admin know so we can delete it). Actually, I'm secretly a fundamentalist Muslim anti-Zionist Hamas operative - but keep it quiet, ok, as I don't want any unexpected visits from User:Mordillo. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 09:20, July 14, 2010 (UTC)
I've actually always felt partly Jewish, at least from the waist down.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Having never felt you from the waist down, I really couldn't comment. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 13:58, July 14, 2010 (UTC)
Since when have Jewish people been extremely short? --Happymonkey39 LAZAR.gifWeegeeheadbobin.gifDomo kun dance1.gif Dah Meme Master 04:48, July 15, 2010 (UTC)
When someone asks us for spare change? </antisemitism>
Haha, that ones a keeper. --Happymonkey39 LAZAR.gifWeegeeheadbobin.gifDomo kun dance1.gif Dah Meme Master 04:41, July 16, 2010 (UTC)
Well thank you rabbi, and it is , very nice indeed(נעים מאוד). Anyways there is no need for that. It was dieing, i think it was a suicide due to his lack of friends and attention. I was just saying i would never abandon one of my own...except the ones that i sort of sent to execution, but that's a different story...on a different note that did say very nice right...i don't know much Hebrew -_-"...actually to be dead honest i can only pronounce words in Hebrew, i don't have a clue what they mean...i just threw that in a translator :P. --Happymonkey39 LAZAR.gifWeegeeheadbobin.gifDomo kun dance1.gif Dah Meme Master 04:46, July 15, 2010 (UTC)
I shouldn't worry too much about that. There are types of tree that know Hebrew better than I do. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 14:54, July 15, 2010 (UTC)
Well surely it ain't me. I mean i am only 14 and i live in Canada, and my parents went through a rough spell, so i only got a few years of Hebrew school. But it's all good, i know all about my religion, and will be able to spread my knowledge on to the next generation....or is that your job, and mine is to eat all the matzo ball soup? I love that stuff!..oh and if you can reply in my talk. --Happymonkey39 LAZAR.gifWeegeeheadbobin.gifDomo kun dance1.gif Dah Meme Master 04:45, July 16, 2010 (UTC)

wtf[edit source]

i just made the header it was only a few hours old   The* Lordarcadiansig.png (say shit) (My train wrecks) Π   ~  04:20, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

If you'd like to tell me what it is you're talking about, I'll see what I can do to help. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 14:58, July 15, 2010 (UTC)
i was just venting i went to save on the cdc page and it was huffed i'll just redo it later no big deal. its been a long week trying to write and working on audio for the titanic article.   The* Lordarcadiansig.png (say shit) (My train wrecks) Π   ~  17:32, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

Poopsmith[edit source]

Many greetings, Rabbi. Out of curiosity, what exactly is required to become a poopsmith? Long amounts of time on VFD? General maintenance for the site? I ask because there are a few red links on VFD, and i'm rather bored...not that i'm suggesting anything. Saberwolf116 15:52, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

Basically, just getting noticed for being useful - or bribing admins. We just made HELPME a poopsmith the other day, in fact, but I don't see why we shouldn't have more than two at any one time. Ask Mordillo - you've been around for long enough to be a potential poopsmith, as far as I'm concerned. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 15:56, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

Another UnSignpost! Rejoice![edit source]

Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 10:15, 16 July 2010

Userpage Help[edit source]

When someone is looking at my userpage (users that are logged in) and sees What Am I Doing Now; how do get it so say; Watching <insert name here>'s house. If you see me once, you shan't see me again. (to a logged in user) and Watching <insert name here>'s house. If you see me once, you shan't see me again. to a non-logged in user). NeuroticNinjaPirate666 21:00, July 16, 2010 (UTC)

Showdown for Cookies[edit source]

Hello there RabbiRechno. Congratulations! You have been chosen to be one of our not-so-special judges for the writers showdown that will be between Aleister in Chains and me Happymonkey39. This will be a showdown were we give each other a name of an unwritten article and we must write as much as we can in 1 hour and 15 minutes. Then our 5 judges will choose which article is better overall. A template on how it shall be evaluated will be given later.

This showdown will be held at 10:30EDT, please convert the time yourself. At 11:50EDT each judge will review each article and chose which he finds best. The user with the most votes wins. And yes the prize will be cookies, the loser must give 100 cookies to the winner on the users talk page.

So are you willing to be an unhonorable judge? --Happymonkey39 LAZAR.gifWeegeeheadbobin.gifDomo kun dance1.gif Dah Meme Master 16:29, July 17, 2010 (UTC)

Bike race[edit source]

Ah, that thing above. That's for Monday, and no "judging" need be done that night, we will just freeze the pages. Happymonkey challenged me because I stole his cookies. Here, have one. ummmm. Anyhow, what about that stage today?! That was fun (and I thought I saw you running along, the guy with the large yellow hair wig?). Schleck proved his keep-up-with-er-ness today, but several days to go this week. At one point I thought Schleck was going to make a run of it, but the strategy must have been just to show Contador that he could keep up and actually finish ahead of him. And since you mentioned the scenery I've been putting my attention more on the buildings and streets. Good views and large castles. Aleister 15:29 19 7

Nope, I was the guy 32.1km from the finish with the giant inflatable penis on his head. Did you see the pink fluffy rabbit yesterday (or do I need to cut down on my drinking)? I finally managed to spot the Devil on Friday too, a few km from the end on Montee Jalabert - it's not a real Tour without the Devil. Anyway, yes - the racing. Schleck is proving to be an outstanding rider, give him another year or two to get some muscle on those skinny legs of his and he may just prove tp be one of the greats up there with Hinault, Merckx, Indurain and Armstrong. Definitely worth keeping an eye on the scenery for the next few days as the Pyrenees are perhaps the most beautiful part of Europe after the very best bits of the Alps. Been a damn good Tour this year! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 15:52, July 18, 2010 (UTC)
What the hell are you two blabbering about? And are you gonna judge or not!...oh give me that *grabs cookie right before you eat it*...damn these are goood! --Happymonkey39 LAZAR.gifWeegeeheadbobin.gifDomo kun dance1.gif Dah Meme Master 16:04, July 18, 2010 (UTC)
Only the biggest sports event on the planet. Yeah, I'll judge - I don't usually, nut since you asked nicely... Probably won't be around until Tuesday evening, however, as I have to travel to a different city for a job interview - and then I'll be watching the Tour highlights, so it might be Wednesday morning. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 16:11, July 18, 2010 (UTC)
But, aren't you working with the synagogue? And yes, I'm know for my politeness.--Happymonkey39 LAZAR.gifWeegeeheadbobin.gifDomo kun dance1.gif Dah Meme Master 22:48, July 18, 2010 (UTC)
Oy, but every shekel goes on beard maintenance. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 12:42, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

"Now who's the cunt?"[edit source]

I'll reply for the IP: You, RabbiTechno, are the cunt. That is all. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 16:07, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

I'm pleased to see that you recognise my better points. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 16:12, July 18, 2010 (UTC)
No problem. I'm quite the acute observer. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 16:22, July 18, 2010 (UTC)
Acute? Gifted at spotting the patently obvious, more like! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 16:24, July 18, 2010 (UTC)
Like your mother's weight issues? I'm referring to her obesity, of course. You should vote to de-op yourself] or something. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 16:28, July 18, 2010 (UTC)
Personally, I think we'd all be a lot better off if we just de-opped everyone. How can we ever have a, like, egalitarian society when we have admins, maaaan? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 19:53, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

Regarding the page move[edit source]

I give you my greatest gratitude for not huffing the page: I wasn't neglecting it on purpose, but rather had a vacation, and with the addition of pressure to improve the article with a bad pee review score I simply couldn't develop the article. But this should relieve me of the pressure, and given enough time and effort, revive the article. --Romaioktonos 00:19, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

No worries - when I see an article that has obviously had a lot of time and effort put into it I like to give it another chance, even if the tag has expired. Also, I've noticed your name and recognised you as a "good faith" user rather than a vandal/idiot/waste of space. Incidentally, if you sign your posts with four tildes (~~~~ your signature will automatically be added along with the date and time, which saves you having to type and hotlink it. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 15:00, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

Noob Question[edit source]

yes, I am a noob - with a question that is equally nooby, in regards to the Construction template - am I allowed to remove it once I have finished the article? (which I have) or would that be stupid? --Captain Noob 07:29, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

Yes you can, and that's a perfectly reasonable question. There's still a chance of it picking up an ICU tag, but remember that just about everyone's first few articles get ICU'd and ICUs are intended to help you with constructive criticism, so just read the suggestions it offers and make any changes necessary. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 07:35, July 21, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks for that - just wanted to make sure the template didn't have some kind of hidden bomb in it that would result in insta-ban --Captain Noob 07:41, July 21, 2010 (UTC)
You only get insta-banned if you fail to send admins a huge hamper full of cakes and beer. I assume mine is in the post? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 07:43, July 21, 2010 (UTC)
I only have cracker jacks and coke - which explains so much --Captain Noob 07:47, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

Congratulations![edit source]

Mhailleaward.jpg

You are the recipient of the Mhaille Award For Excellence for the month of July 2010. I know its not "up there" with the great awards of Uncyclopedia, but its a way for me to show my own support and appreciation for what people are doing out there to make this place better.

Not given this award out for a while but seeing as you always seem to be on recent edits, deleting cruft, fixing articles, dealing with crap, and still finding time to write some absolute cracking articles I think you are a more than worthy recipient, despite your terrible afflictions. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

What counts for more? The Brit award for best male artist or Bob Dylan mentioning he happens to quite like your lyrics? Many thanks, much appreciated - and I'll ignore the Jewelsh stuff because I know that, as a Northerner, you're just jealous. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 11:58, July 21, 2010 (UTC)
*not jealous at all*. What do you mean? This is the single greatest award on Uncyclopedia. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 12:03, Jul 21
Merely the greatest on Uncyclopedia? Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 12:07, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

VFD[edit source]

Just as you finished voting on that Giger thing, I saved a few changes to it. Mind having another squint and seeing if you think it's now keepworthy in a re-writeable way?--UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 12:03, Jul 21

My pleasure to both have a look and change my mind, because I like the pun too. :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 12:07, July 21, 2010 (UTC)
Massively improved already, so I'm voting to keep and looking forward to any re-write you may subsequently carry out. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 12:11, July 21, 2010 (UTC)
Ta. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 12:15, Jul 21