User talk:HauntedUndies

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Terumvra greets you and bids you welcome to Uncyclopedia.

Greetings and well met, HauntedUndies, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. Thank you for creating an account and giving me this wonderful opportunity to send my minions through your refrigerator in search of quality mustard. Meantime, feel free to poke around, much to see, much to do. I do hope you like what you see and choose to stick around. If not, the door's right over there, and we also have several strategically-placed windows, if that is what you prefer.

Now that you are here, these tend to be of use for folks like you:

Please remember to sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig.png) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date... unless Wikia broke something again. But usually they're pretty good about not harming the base functions. Usually.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:HauntedUndies/Article about stuff) so you may edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done slap a construction template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

There are plenty of other things to do, of course. Often articles will require proofreading, among other fix ups, and we could always use more reviewers, and for the more artistic of folks, there's the option of creating images to aid articles that need more images and making them prettier, for instance.

If you need help or have questions, feel free to ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, ask on IRC, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is here to bring experienced editors straight to you.

Again, welcome!  1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 20:28, 19 May 2011


Urinating fountain.jpg

I just peed on something you wrote. I apologize profusely for that.

I'll attempt to control my bladder in the future. No promises though

Here you go. Jackofspades.png (talk) 22:50, 4 June 2011

A rather well done little piece[edit]

A good UnNews story - thank you for your contribution. You'll notice that I've put it on the UnNews Front Page and in that box on the right side of the Main Page. May fame and fortune follow (keeping in mind that Uncyclopedia has rights to 100% of any aforesaid fortune).

On another, more picky, note, if you plan on writing more UnNewses in the future (and I hope you do), please don't use "smart quotation marks." They're the ones that don't go straight up and down; they curve depending on where they are in a sentence. Uncyclopedia seems to mess these up fairly often, and it looks dumb when, inevitably, a quote begins with a closing quotation mark.

But that's just me being anal. Good work, and I hope to see more of it on UnNews in the future! ~ Humbuck.png Talk 18:03, 13 June 2011 (UTC)

The UnSignpost: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger![edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:09, July 14, 2011 (UTC)


I snuck into your house last night and pooped your bed. Sorry! :)

Also I did your mom. (you can call me "pops" or "daddy" now.)

Bizzeebeever Icons-flag-us.png (this user has been deleted) 01:30, July 16, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the fertilizer, my pubes are growing thick and lush and are starting to bare fruit. Funky funky fruit. HauntedUndies. 10:14, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

The UnSignpost: Avoid all contact with eyes.[edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:11, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

Hey there[edit]

Hi, i'm Lollipop. I don't think i've got around to saying hello to you before, but here I am. I'm basically that guy that does signatures and templates and strange articles. So,um...yeah. --Care for a lick? Lollipop Care for a lick? - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 16:54, 25 July 2011

Why, hello there Mr. Lollipop. I remember requesting a special flavour lollipop from you but then I forgot about it. I’ve since been forced to survive out the winter hungry in a cave, gaining what little sustenance I can from turnip juice and toe nail clippings. It’s cold, dark, and wolves are out to get me. But I forgive you. I also write strange articles, however I possess zero knowledge in regards to templatey and signature things as you can probably tell by my crappy sig. Barely visible blue was the best I could muster, it also took several days of study and Lythathrathliathaa still had to fix it up, maybe you might be able to help me out with it, hmm, nudge, nudge, wink, wink. I’ll pay you of course. HauntedUndies. 07:21, July 26, 2011 (UTC)
stop welcoming people. I am the one who does this thing. --Mimo&maxus 05:20, July 26, 2011 (UTC)
I thought you left. --Care for a lick? Lollipop Care for a lick? - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 01:54, 31 July 2011
I did, but only to go to the toilet. Oh wait, your talking about Mimo.HauntedUndies. 05:23, July 31, 2011 (UTC)


see above. --Mimo&maxus 05:20, July 26, 2011 (UTC)

Also hello, for you I have a slightly more pressing problem. It seems I’ve misplaced my shoe, I’ve also misplaced by foot with generally resides in said shoe. Maybe you can find it for me. Oh wait, there it is. Never mind. HauntedUndies. 07:23, July 26, 2011 (UTC)
Aha! --Mimo&maxus 07:39, July 26, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for your support...[edit]

...and your willingness to get pretty damn ballsy in the forums. I appreciate it. ~ Humbuck.png Talk 16:52, 26 July 2011 (UTC)

More class than 9000 schools: It's the UnSignpost![edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:10, July 28, 2011 (UTC)

You are winner[edit]

Noob of the Moment Award Noob of the Moment July 2011 ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 07:11, August 1, 2011 (UTC)

ChiefjusticeDS is a lazy sod and has paid the ultimate price... an UnSignpost Coup[edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:09, August 6, 2011 (UTC)

More rubbish Australian Prose because ChiefjusticeDS got stabbed in the buttocks by a rioter with a felt-tip pen[edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:09, August 11, 2011 (UTC)

I think my undies are haunted! And full... :S[edit]

I wanted to welcome you warmly and nicely with a slap to the face and congratulate you on the NOTM thing! I just cheated and took a sneak peek at your skeleton article, reading the intro and the first section. Awesome! You write very well, better than me, who is a French Aboriginal. Keep it up bro and may the laughs keep on flowing out of our undies! Talk Mattsnow 02:28, August 13, 2011 (UTC)

And did you know you are featured somewhere in our team efforts for the summer competition? Mini-golf. You'll find the false link easily! I hope that will make you LOL Talk Mattsnow 06:07, August 13, 2011 (UTC)

Now it only wants you gone; it's the UnSignpost![edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:10, August 18, 2011 (UTC)

Wonko tiddlybum-post[edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:10, August 25, 2011 (UTC)


I'm feeling like an ass for asking that, but I know you read it and in order for me to nom it on VFH, I just put it on Pee Review and that place is clogged... If you feel it's good, could you nom it on VFH? Only if you think it's good enough, but VFH is kinda empty and Pee Review is kinda full, so if you nom it, I'll take it off Pee Review, I don't know if you get what I'm saying? Awaiting your answer. Oh and don't forget to eat your undies! Talk Mattsnow 03:16, August 28, 2011 (UTC)

Hi there Matts Now. Good to hear you're still alive but I must admit I'm a little concerned about the fact you keep appearing here inadequately clothed. Please remember to wear pants in the future, cheers. About the mini gold thing, it's a good article. However, I feel you could still improve on it a bit. I see it did quite well in the contest and considering there was a time frame in which you had to pump it out I thought you did quite well. If you'd like to put it on pee review I'd be happy to give you my two bobs worth. If you're happy with it though I'd happy to stick it on VFH and vote for it. I'm not exactly sure if I'm correct but I think once an article has been been featured it becomes off limits for further edits (good or bad) so I feel it's nessesary to make it as good as it can be before going down that path. Anyways, let me know. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 11:52, August 28, 2011 (UTC)
Sorry for my inadequate apparels lol. No, when an article gets featured you can still edit it afterwards, you can still edit it also as people vote on it on VFH, and I think it is ready. It would also be a great service to Uncy in general since I could take it off the Pee Review list (which is dicouragingly long), therefore unclogging the thing a bit, since I don't think a review would cause me to change it much anyways. If you want to nom it but don't know how, just tell me! Talk Mattsnow 13:50, August 28, 2011 (UTC)
Forget it bro, it's done! If you ever have an article you feel doesn't need to go through the Pee process, just tell me and I'll read it and if it's good, I'll nom it! Or suggest things outside of the Pee process, which can take months when articles clog the place. Peace to the whole Planet Earth and beyond! Talk Mattsnow 16:22, August 28, 2011 (UTC)
No worries old bean. I'll meander on over to the vote-a-rama and if I ever get around to finishing any of my half baked ideas i'll let you know.I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 09:02, August 29, 2011 (UTC)

Your comments[edit]

They have been taken into account. There is now more stuff to read. Hopefully that makes it betterer. What say you? --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 20:10, Aug 30

We shot the hole-in-one, but you were the caddy![edit]

It appears that you voted for Mini-golf, which ended up getting featured. Myself and Matthew Snowman would like to thank you from the bottom of our hearts (well... maybe somewhere around the middle, but you get what I mean) for carrying the club all the way to the front page. Hope your career as a caddy is long and prosperous. Thanks again. --Wanna see a magic trick? 03:06, August 31, 2011 (UTC)

Mailman's here! Lock up your daughters and horny middle-aged Wives![edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:10, September 1, 2011 (UTC)

Subliminal stimuli[edit]

Thanks for the review! I just finished editing it according to you suggestions. What do you think? --Wanna see a magic trick? 04:08, September 4, 2011 (UTC)

Nice work fixing it up, it reads a lot easier now. I still got a good laugh out of it the second time around and no cats were needlessly punched so good work there. I'm guessing you couldn't fix the link problem so it was a nice touch putting the link in to the text version. The extra content was good too, I loved I resevior dogs pic. I also noticed you put it back on the pee review list but I'll let someone else have a crack at it as it couldn't hurt to have a second opinion. Hmm, it seems I've gone a whole paragraph without sucumbing to low brow potty humour........Prolapsed anus calcification! I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 01:07, September 5, 2011 (UTC)

This UnSignpost brought to you by... uh... fairy dust? Hmm, we seem to have run out of sponsors.[edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 01:10, September 8, 2011 (UTC)

The UnSignpost: Now with free bacon![edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:10, September 15, 2011 (UTC)

Hijacking signatures?[edit]

What makes you think i'm into that kind of stuff? Ask RAHB, he likes to keep away from doing things like that. --RARR! PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 21 September 2011, at 21:27

Brought to you by Lion Bars! It's the UnSignpost![edit]

~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 07:37, September 22, 2011 (UTC)

Hey bro![edit]

I went on Pee Review looking for something to rape and stumbled on the Skeleton warrior article. Awesome! You know why it takes time for someone to pick it up? Because it is great, so the reviewer reads it, laughs, but then thinks: "I just don't have anything to suggest to improve it, it's too good." and takes another one. I know that was my case! The articles that nobody picks are either the crappiest or the best. So may I suggest you move it out of userspace and I nom it on VFH or do you really want to wait for a review first? If it ever fails VFH, you can always wait for a review and renom it after. I think the waiting period between 2 VFH nom is a month. So? What's your call? 534-7608? OK, I ordered the pizza! Talk Mattsnow 22:33, September 24, 2011 (UTC)

Yayyy, PIZZA! Thanks for the kind words, you truly are the Mother Teresa of Uncyclopdedia, and not just because your a wrinkly old nun. To tell you the truth, I haven't the slightest idea on how to move things out of userspace as I've never had to do it. I suppose the purpose of getting a pee review is to get some feedback on areas that need improvement but if you think it's good enough I'm happy to push it out of the nest and into the big mean world. It'd be interesting to see how it goes on VFH to gauge public opinion of it but I'd be too ashamed of self nomming it so if you feel it's good enough, could you please do it? I'm also open to any critisism, so if you feel certain bits aren't up to scratch, let me know, feel free to make any of your own edits as well, they're always good. Anyways, PIZZA! I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 06:12, September 25, 2011 (UTC)
You just have to recreate it. You type the title you want the page to have in the search box, you click on the red link where the title is written and you just copy and paste your whole article there! And you keep the one in your userspace as a "back-up". And I'll nom it for VFH, sure thing! Let me know after you created it in mainspace, I guess I could do it for you, but then you wouldn't know how to do it. If I can do it, let me tell you, everybody with 2 arms or even just one can! Talk Mattsnow 06:37, September 25, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks mate! Doing it now. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 07:08, September 25, 2011 (UTC)
I was pretty sure people would like it, it is smashing through VFH! Do you have other articles that are finished? I'd like to read them, I like your style! As for me, I am working on 3 at the same time, but I think this one is pretty much completed: User:Mattsnow/UnNews:Obama: "Iran will have a nuke by 2167!". What do you think? Suggestions? Cake and tea? Talk Mattsnow 07:51, September 28, 2011 (UTC)
Hahahaha!! Thanks for the caption, so much better like this! Talk Mattsnow 10:46, September 28, 2011 (UTC)
Hey there. Damn edit conflict! Thanks a heap for the nom, it seems to be doing pretty OK. Thanks for the typo fixes too, may beer and pretzels rain on your parade. I'm currently "working" on this hunk of crud but I like your idea of doing 3 things at once. I wish I could as I wouldn't get bored so easily but I never seem to be able to finish anything. There's a half eaten cake that's been in my pantry for about six months and surprisingly, there's very little mold. Hmmm, maybe just one bite... I got a good laugh out of your UnNews piece, in particular the CIA report with the agent dressed as a cactus, the arab quote was great too. On a picky note, I'd change the title to "Iran nuclear weapon proliferation imminent" or something else so as not to give the main joke away strait away. The opening sentance read a bit awkward to me (but then again, I'm quite awkward in general). Does this seem any better to you:The world is holding its breath in fear after a recent CIA investigation revealed the Iranian government is actively working on the development of nuclear weapons. The thorough CIA report detailed Iranian plans to steal designs and build the weapons under the dubious title, the “Desert tan project.”

Anyways, nice work. Let me know if you'd like any of your stuff nommed,I'd be more than happy to. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 11:11, September 28, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks dude, I tweaked the first sentence (well copy-pastaed it!:D), I think I'll wait for the Pee review to nom it, nobody on Pee ever picks my stuff! Don't do it though, as this will likely give me a 3rd opinion. Also, about getting bored, the awesomeness of skeleton warrior was evident, but you can also go with shorter articles sometimes. The longest one I wrote is Québec and has 22KB I think, I worked on it a great deal, but long article like this can be tedious to work on, although it's gratifying afterwards to see you've written such a long consistent article, you can't help but wonder: Will people read it to the end? But in the end, we don't write for others, we write for the fun of it. When I'll have a minute, I'll read your article and I'll certainly use your offer for the nomination thing when I need your services. Later!! Talk Mattsnow 11:37, September 28, 2011 (UTC)

Waiting for Godot[edit]

Hello, good to meat you (thanks for voting Yay! on Corpsearian). I liked your Skeleton article, and am happy to meet (meat) another haunty fan. Check out my ghost page, as well as Cemetery of the Absurd and another one I'm trying to shape into something for next year's halloween (I want to make it an epic eventually). Keep up the bony work. Aleister 17:03 28-9-'11

Nice to meat you, all this talking of meet is making me hungry. I feel like... lettuce. On second thought, I'm on a diet. I read your articles, nice work. I liked the cemetery one the best. I look forward to halloween 2013, admit it, your way lazier than you claim. 2012? Bah! I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 10:17, September 29, 2011 (UTC)

Hold onto your wage packets! It's the UnSignpost![edit]

--Wanna see a magic trick? 01:01, September 29, 2011 (UTC)

Man oh man[edit]

I just read this and I still am mopping the floor thanks to unvoluntary tears and piss outbreak! The last experience on VFH was a great success to say the least, do you want to tweak this one a bit or do I nom it now? Also, you can self-nom your articles after it's been sitting for a week on Pee review. It would be a shame articles such as the above UnNews fall under the radar! If you'd like to cancel the skeleton warrior one, just do your own pee review on it by saying: "I don't want a Pee Review" (if Lyrithya the evil witch hasn't removed it yet, as she has a tendancy to do so). Talk Mattsnow 08:57, September 30, 2011 (UTC)

Hey Matt, maybe you should invest in some adult sanitary diaper's, I'm a little worried about your pants and floors. I'm glad you found the article funny, it was my first effort here. I wouldn't worry about nomming it for VFH though, I'm of the opinion that UnNews should generally not be featured as they're on the front page anyway which is why I don't vote on 'em. This was one of the first articles I read and is one of my favorites so I guess there's always exceptions. I really appreciate the offer though. As long as someone gets a laugh I don't really care if it's featured or not. By the way, I've declared today International Matt Day in recognition of all the Matt related edits, Yayyyyy! Beers! MattUndies HauntedUndies2.jpg. 00:58, October 1, 2011 (UTC)
I just nommed you for Writer of the Month, along with Xamralco. May the best win! Also, I'd like to take you up on your offer. Would you like to nom UnNews:Obama: "Iran will have a nuke by 2167!" even though it is an UnNews? Do you think it has chances? I strongly think so. *Leaves ceremoniously* Talk Mattsnow 18:10, October 1, 2011 (UTC)
Tis done dear fellow, I think it's a good chance too. By the way, good work taking over the UnNews, I don't think it's a coincidence there's a lot more contributors which makes for some different styles and jokes. Try not to let the ego's beat ou down though. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 09:11, October 2, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks, awkward fellow. Are you really sure you don't want me to put your soccer UnNews up for VFH? VFH is in a deplorable state and I am afraid it would need mouth to mouth. BTW, did I ask you if you read MKULTRA and what were your thoughts on it? Sometimes I'm afraid my writing is declining somewhat, after some glorious days. sigh. Talk Mattsnow 16:21, October 4, 2011 (UTC)

I'm not homosexual I just want to touch your face[edit]

Hello, I'm Writey. I'm your new Noob of the Month, thanks to your kind nomination! Actually, I feel guilty that due to the recent harassment case I've been embroiled in I haven't had much time to spend writing on this site, but don't worry, they can't prove anything. So yea, thanks for the nomination kind crusader, I may need some help writing Nazi and rape jokes though? I find writing jokes about disabilities and unfortunate circumstances befalling people who deserve them easy, but Nazi and rape jokes? Is there a template I can use? Like, [insert German name here] walks into a bar, the holocaust was [insert adjective here], [insert stereotypical red neck name] agrees. Would that work? --Writey 21:49, October 1, 2011 (UTC)

Hey there, this is kind of awkward. You see, I thought that award was b00b of the month. When I hacked into your web cam and glanced upon your ample bosom I just had to tell the world, well, all 7 uncyclopedians in the world anyway. About the other thing, you should totally download Microsoft Nazijoke Pro v6.1.23. It'll have you pumping out page after page of Nazi jokes with just a few clicks of the mouse. There's also a Rapejoke Pro but it's very buggy so I would bother. Alternatively, you always just call everyone a "gay", that seems to work really well. Hope the hints work. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 09:22, October 2, 2011 (UTC)
Erm, HauntedUndies, I don't have a webcam on my computer. My 12 year old sister in the room next door does though. Don't worry, if Chris Hansen comes knocking just tell him it was a mix up with IP's, and whatever you do don't take a seat. Anyway, I successfully downloaded Microsoft Nazijoke Pro, you forgot to mention that it costs $149.99! But don't worry, on your recommendation I took the plunge and bought it. However after installing it I was bombarded with error messages that it wasn't licensed. Naturally I called Microsoft and asked them what the problem was, I could barely hear what the operator was saying over the sound of laughing, cans being opened, party poppers, and the steady pulse of a heart rate monitor (which curiously cut out half way through the call) but I was informed that this was just the filming of the next PC Vs. Mac advert. Eventually she managed to get me into the program and I have been a happy user even since. Despite it crashing every 30 minutes or so it's quite a nice piece of software. It came up with this joke: "Why at does Nazi drive at over a one hundred miles per hour? To get back at to the Fuhrer." If that's not worth $150 I don't know what is. Unfortunately I couldn't try Rapejoke Pro because when I tried to install it I kept getting the error message, "This computer is protected by AVG Virus scanner. Please remove protection and try again." Oh well, I guess you can't have everything. Thanks for the help anyway, I'm sure I'll be a prolific writer of Nazi jokes now, you gay. --Writey 16:17, October 9, 2011 (UTC)

A day late, because ChiefjusticeDS got lazy: The UnSignPost![edit]

~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 01:31, October 7, 2011 (UTC)

You voted for Subliminal stimuli, which got featured![edit]

A million thanks! --Wanna see a magic trick? 03:42, October 8, 2011 (UTC)


In regards to the entry I submitted and you judged. You mentioned the tone of someone wanting to be a sysop? Well, that was purely intentional, I find with HowTo's the best tone to use is that of someone who either wants to complete the guide or already has. For some reason or another, but of course others use different styles in writing. It's just how I do them. HowTo:Make crime pay is another example of a HowTo I wrote with that tome of someone wanting to make crime pay, its just how I write. I should have been clearer on that :/ ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 23:24, October 8, 2011 (UTC)

Hey Frosty, I'd just like to say that just because I put you 4th, doesn't mean your article wasn't good. Actually, I found it quite interesting, which is a rare achievement on a site full of whimsical jokes and poo references. I don't want it to seem like I'm blowing smoke up your arse but it's also well written and well structured. I personally felt you could make it a bit funnier if you developed it into a charactor piece. For example, have it written from the point of view from some disgruntled permabaned user/vandal/star trek nerd/cactus/de-opped admin or maybe even a gloating admin proud of the fact nobody else will achieve their admin status. Anyways, keep writing good stuff or else... I'll...Ehh, I got nothing. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 23:53, October 8, 2011 (UTC)

You need more templates on this talk page, let me help...[edit]

Urbn bj.jpg

And he entered the temple upon his horseless chariot and drove out those who sold, 46 popping a wheelie unto them and saying, "It is written, 'My house shall be a place where we can ride without getting hassled by the man,' but you have made it a den of robbers."

Luke 19:45-46

Thanks for the vote on Ghostwriter!--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  15:45, October 11, 2011 (UTC)



Thanks for your vote. ; ) Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 18:59, 14 October 2011

I take on your Forum article proposal[edit]

We can do it when the skies turn a dark red you're ready. We'll start it in my userspace, and we'll see where it goes from there. All we need now is a subject of the forum and some insane ideas. --RARR! PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 15 October 2011, at 22:17

What'cho talkin' 'bout? --Wanna see a magic trick? 22:32, October 15, 2011 (UTC)
We're going to becomes cannabals and we're going to roast you. --RARR! PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 15 October 2011, at 22:33
A roast? Are you guys comedians? --Wanna see a magic trick? 22:43, October 15, 2011 (UTC)
Suweeet, I'll start it up soon and post a link on your talk page. Right now, I'm off to fight space pirates from China. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 06:22, October 16, 2011 (UTC)

Hey bro![edit]

Is it you that offered to nom Door handle? Do you think it is ready? If so, just go ahead :3 Talk Mattsnow 15:41, October 21, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, for sure, VFH is clogged to the shithouse at the moment so give it a few days and I'll nom it. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 00:14, October 22, 2011 (UTC)
I think you can throw it in the mix my friend, and don't forget to throw a shootout to me and especially Shabidoo. I really like this guy and I am soooo glad we made a great article together. As long as there is no "martial law" template on VFH, you can add stuff. If you still agree that is. Talk Mattsnow 21:24, October 26, 2011 (UTC)

Allah/God/Yahweh (pick one) thanks you for your VFH vote[edit]

...on that UnNews piece I did. However, according to Him, having undies that are haunted is a sin. Change every other day!  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSat, Oct 22 '11 11:19 (UTC)

Generic UnSignpost header[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 03:16, 27 October 2011

Dave's not here, man......[edit]

Wake & Bake with
Dr Strange
Thursdays, 6 -10am
KFJC 89.7fm
Radio devil.color.741x600.gif

Tune In, Turn On and Drop Out! Thanks for the vote on College DJ!--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  14:25, October 28, 2011 (UTC)

SpongeBob SquarePants[edit]

Thanks for the vote! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 15:52, October 29, 2011 (UTC)


Thumbs up guy.jpg You Voted for Me for Writer of the Month!

Good job!

Thank you very, very much. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:27, November 1, 2011 (UTC)

Generic UnSignpost header[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:53, 3 November 2011

Thank you for your vote on the Foolitzer.pngFoolizter Prize[edit]

Queen of diamonds.png
You now have a burning urge to send Bizzeebeever all of your money, a tasteful 8"x10" glossy nude print of yourself, and the keys to your apartment.
 ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngFri, Nov 4 '11 23:22 (UTC)

Your userpage[edit] hilarious. And I don't think that's just the lack of sleep talking, either, so good job. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 04:13, 9 November 2011

Bwahahaha! I just saw it, awesome! Talk Mattsnow 04:17, November 9, 2011 (UTC)
Gee shucks, that makes the two hours I spent on it seem almost worthwhile. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 08:28, November 9, 2011 (UTC)
Want me to nom it for VFP? It sure is worthy! Talk Mattsnow 10:46, November 9, 2011 (UTC)
Ewwww God no, though I appreciate the offer. I'm purdy sure there's a rule against vanity articles in general, nomming them for highlight in VFP would only lead to extra hate directed in my err... direction. By the way, are you aware that Anthony Kiedis has a moustache? Everything I once believed in is now a lie!!! Ahhh! Exclaimation marks!!!I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 12:47, November 12, 2011 (UTC)

Generic UnSignpost header[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:47, 10 November 2011

Underwear Hunters International[edit]

Hutch Nuclear Dinner Laptop Skin-Wrappz.jpg
Thanks For Your Purchase!
The NAARAHYNWOMDTCRDP appreciates your patronage because it prevents us from having to get real jobs and we can continue to provide
you with compelling yet useless publications which exploit your fear of embarrassment and nuclear holocausts. Here's an oddly designed abomination of a template for your talk page as a special gift which acknowledges your stupidity for everyone on Uncyclopedia to see!

Thanks for the vote and kind words!--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  18:52, November 14, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost - 17 November 2011[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:25, 17 November 2011

UnSignpost - 24 November 2011[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 02:14, 24 November 2011

You Voted For Me For Noob Of The Month![edit]

Pizza delivery1.jpg Thanks for voting for me for Noob Of The Month

As a reward, I give you one of my pizzas!

Thanks a lot for your vote! --PopGoesTheWeasel drank this 05:46, November 30, 2011 (UTC)

YAYYY PIZZA!!! Wait, you didn't touch it did you? I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 08:10, November 30, 2011 (UTC)
Man eating pizza photo.jpg
Sorry? --PopGoesTheWeasel drank this 08:30, November 30, 2011 (UTC)
Have you been taking photo's of me?!!! I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 09:47, November 30, 2011 (UTC)
Yes Er-let's stop here, ok? --PopGoesTheWeasel drank this 11:28, November 30, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost - 1 December 2011[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 05:15, 1 December 2011

UnSignpost - 8 December 2011[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:24, 8 December 2011


Green is a colour. --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown.jpg 12:19, December 13, 2011 (UTC)

Truer words have not been spoken my wise sage. Although, blasphemers will have you believe that Green is in fact, a color. May they rot in the fiery depths of the world's hottest chilli. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 11:49, December 18, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost - 15 December 2011[edit]

--ChiefjusticeDS 10:27, December 15, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost - 22 December 2011[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 03:49, 22 December 2011

UnSignpost - 29 December 2011[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:53, 29 December 2011

A belated thank-you from an inveterate procrastinator[edit]

Time bomb.jpg

Greetings, HauntedUndies. You voted for me on POTM for November. Now, obviously it's been a while since this happened. However, I figured that, while it can be too late to ask for forgiveness, it is never too late to give thanks.

Once again, thank you, and my apologies for not thanking you sooner. This impersonal, auto-generated message will self-destruct in 5 seconds.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Jan 4 '12 11:32 (UTC)

UnSignpost - January 5th, 2012[edit]


I have gone through my records and it appears as though you may have voted for me for some award, supported one or more of my articles on VFH, or supported one or more of my images on VFP, in the past year or so. If this is not the case, then please ignore this message. Otherwise, thank you for your support. May you have a long and fruitful life, and have many parasites. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 18:57, 6 January 2012

UnSignpost - 12 January 2012[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:02, 12 January 2012

UnSignpost - 19 January 2012[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 15:06, 19 January 2012

UnSignpost - 26 January 2012[edit]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 08:26, 26 January 2012


Hello Mr. Undies. Thanks for your vote on James Bevel, an interesting page I put lots of research time into. Appreciated. I haven't seen your user page before, that's a great poster, and you've done lots of good pages. I've never mentioned how scary your name is. Aleister 12:14 15-2-'12

Don’t mean to be a fussy pants but I’m Korean so it’s actually Mr Haunted. Anyways, keep the good shit a comin’. By the way, there’s also no such thing as ghosts but keep the light on, the closet door shut and a fitchfork under your bed just in case. RegularUndies HauntedUndies2.jpg. 12:02, February 17, 2012 (UTC)

Minor League Baseball[edit]

I have goosed the article in your userspace and added ideas from personal experience that you are free to play with. Except, it is not in your userspace. Since you used a backslash instead of a slash, it is the userpage of the nonexistent user User:HauntedUndies\Minor League Baseball‎‎, which is why we get the annoying little message above the edit window. I fixed this--so that you can now refer to it with the name as shown above. Spıke ¬ 16:01 22-Feb-12

Yeah thanks, I realised I fucked that up when I couldn't link to it properly but I figured I'd move it later when the article was done. I didn't realise it created a new user page though so thanks for clearing it up for me. I also liked your additions, clearly I have no knowledge of baseball so I'm grateful for any help. Feel free to add some more if you're interested, we could turn it into a collab or whatever. I'll start a talk page on it regardless. RegularUndies HauntedUndies2.jpg. 11:18, February 23, 2012 (UTC)

I would have left it to you, but I have Rollback power, which also means I can rename things without making the old name point to the new one and having to list it on QVFD so someone will delete it. I have indeed added two more sections, loosely based on ten years as a fan in Nashua NH and Lynn MA, and have massaged your latest additions a little. AAAAAAAA is a meme on this website so you were unknowingly feeding into a useful link. That's all for now and it is again your at-bats. Spıke ¬ 23:55 23-Feb-12

Good work! And good shoops. It is ready for mainspace and I've moved it. PS--Rich Garces spent a summer up in Nashua, with his family. He was the closer and had his own theme song (La Camisa Negra). Spıke ¬ 12:53 27-Feb-12

'Twas a pleasure working with you fine sir. It normally takes me months to pump out an article so thanks for the input and the arse kicking. If you're interested in getting back into writing here, Baseball is a pile of steaming excrement at the moment and is also somewhat vital. In the next few days I'll do a proof read of the Minor League thingy and I'll put it up for Pee, that is unless you have some philosophical reason for not doing that. Anyways... RegularUndies HauntedUndies2.jpg. 11:15, February 28, 2012 (UTC)

You're welcome. Ah kick yo' arse any day. I don't mind if you get the page reviewed, though it has already had a second set of eyes. (Oh, sounds like the stuff I wrote hasn't.) Baseball does seem like a product of Imperial Colonization, like Barack Obama. Major League Baseball is another steaming pile; also Major League Bloodbath. Until next time. Spıke ¬ 00:32 29-Feb-12

Sorry, it sounds like I meant I hadn't read anything you had written. What I meant was I'd fix a couple of typos that I spotted and do a carefull readthrough to find anymore, that's all. Now where'd I put my herpes cream...RegularUndies HauntedUndies2.jpg. 10:35, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
Damnit, I was working on a rewrite of Baseball at the request of RAHB. You sonsabitches. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngFri, Mar 2 '12 7:36 (UTC)
By all means, keep at it! Spıke ¬ 23:26 2-Mar-12

Award from UN:REQ[edit]

Thumbs up2.jpg

This user created Minor league baseball, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)

The Pea Buddy Awards[edit]

WOW! A brand new UnNews competition and we need you! Either prepare yourself mentally for the severity of the trials (don't sign up just yet, you cheat!) or commit your soul as a judge right now. May the Lord shine his blessings upon thee! Talk Mattsnow 00:50, March 20, 2012 (UTC)


Thanks for your votes on VFH, my entire genetic heritage rests on the success of the naked UnNews, and you gave it and Bing a push in the direction of children and more children! There is nothing like a good naked Supreme Court Justice to get the blood boiling. Aleister 10:57 April Foolishness Day '12


Good to see you're back! I went on Pee a couple of times and read MLB, I knew it didn't need a review and was already awesome! I think I wrote a great one here: Earth's Children, but it pains me that nobody seems to pay much attention to it on VFH. What do you think of it? Are there boring parts? Did you read the books? I hope you can drop by more often, you little scoundrel! :P Oh, and thanks for the Resident Evil vote! Talk Mattsnow 16:13, April 20, 2012 (UTC)

Hey Matt, good to hear from you. I finally got around to reading Earth's Children and it's great. I havent read the books but now I don't need to, he he. It's seems to be getting enough votes to get featured but maybe people are a little put off by the fact it's about a book and not something silly, who knows? I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 12:55, April 22, 2012 (UTC)

Last call[edit]

HauntedUndies...did you know that you are one of the last established and most respected member of the community that has not yet voted on this forum here? Or at least considered the possibility? Or at least died trying? --ShabiDOO 07:54, April 30, 2012 (UTC)

Goodness me! Where ever are my manners? I shall do so right after I finish punching my cat. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 08:04, April 30, 2012 (UTC)
I was led to believe that you were an outright gentleman, and you have not yet dissapointed us. When you've finished q-tip raping your servant, do ask her to bring us a gin tonic! --ShabiDOO 08:42, April 30, 2012 (UTC)


Hello Mr Undies. What are you haunted by? I couldn't help notice you've done lots of good pee reviews, and I was so delighted I just had to come and thank you, as well as ask if you would like to become an official member of PEEING.

Joining PEEING will gain you many things, including respect of your peers and respect of your peers. It will also make you eligible for the Reviewer of the Month award. It doesn't require anything more than what you're already doing and we'd love to have you.

In all honesty, this usergroup has pretty much dried up. But still, I thought you deserved a thanks for all the great reviews. So here it is: cheers, big ears. --Black Flamingo 23:08, May 3, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks, but I don't really see the point. I'll try and drag my sorry arse out of the dumpster more often and do some more reviews if it helps, but joining this club thingy would only make it seem too much like an obligation. There's also no cake. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 07:23, May 6, 2012 (UTC)

Moving pages[edit]

You can move pages you know, like that UnNews. You don't have to copy and paste it. That way the page history goes with it. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 10:28, May 17, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks, I wasn't sure if it would make it into recent news though, therefore making it redundant.I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 10:32, May 17, 2012 (UTC)
In fact, Frosty, when I was doing UnNews, you did have to copy and paste, as the current list of news stories is automatically generated based on the creation date of the article. Spıke ¬ 11:04 17-May-12

Ah! you're back[edit]

I got concerned when I saw you had cleaned out your locker. Spıke ¬ 11:02 17-May-12

Eh, I was gonna make some changes but ended up going to bed instead, and now I can't be bothered. Maybe later. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 12:19, May 20, 2012 (UTC)


Really good idea with the red link thing! Im sure it will get the cool kid's attention! --ShabiDOO 01:20, May 20, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks, are you planning on joining in? It'll totally get you laid. (By me). I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 12:21, May 20, 2012 (UTC)
Weird you should say that, I cut my hair yesterday! Yep. I really didn't get it it would seem lol. Count me in anyway. Talk Mattsnow 18:49, May 20, 2012 (UTC)

The great shitstorm of our time is approaching...[edit]

Hey, what happened with your user page? I think it was a very noble idea, the comp you envisioned, sadly, nobody picked up on it... Planning to run it anyway? I'm in! I need to stretch my funny neurons, I haven't written anything in a while. If you don't plan to go forward with it, I propose to you to collab with me on User:Mattsnow/World War II. It's gonna be a lot of work since I would want it to be based on the real events, and I am not an historian so there's work there! But I think it's off to a good start, I wrote the infobox and part of the intro while C2H6o wrote some text. If you are interested, give me a HOLLA! Talk Mattsnow 15:58, May 29, 2012 (UTC)

PS: It seems Romartus took me up on my offer, and he is a great historian. Still, if you want to add stuff, feel free to go ahead. Or maybe we could collab on another article, I'm open to propositions (but not kinky ones) :) Talk Mattsnow 16:40, May 29, 2012 (UTC)
Aloha, I’m not sure about the comp anymore, either no-one’s interested or everyone’s too lazy to declare an interest. It’s also kinda been steamrolled by the PLS anyway. I might run it after the PLS finishes though if more people are interested as I still think it’s a good idea. Count me in for the WWII article; it’s going to be epic and I love what you’ve already done! It’s such a pivotal point in history with so much to write about. There’s also some naturally funny shit that happened. Have you heard about the Japanese battleship called the Yamato which was sunk en route to a suicide mission in Okinawa? Does that count as a successful mission? Italy also invaded Albania in one day; the only resistance being a few hundred townsfolk armed with pitchforks. Anyways, I'll add some stuff to it laters. Oyasumi nasai. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 10:39, May 31, 2012 (UTC)
LOL, I didn't know those anecdotes, please feel free to share on the article :P Talk Mattsnow 20:30, June 2, 2012 (UTC)

Finger Cancer[edit]

Hey Haunted. As you voted for my cancer article, would you mind checking out the formatting. Did the size of the images seem stupid and or distracting as per User:Paragraph? A wet hug and a bear kiss--ShabiDOO 19:54, June 2, 2012 (UTC)

Hmm, I really liked this article so I probably didn't take formatting into account. The only nitpicking I can think of is that all the images are aligned to the right, maybe mix it up a bit. There's also no contents so it looks un-wikipediaryish. Apart from those tiny things, it's all good. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 07:48, June 3, 2012 (UTC)

Example of offended e-mail[edit]

I am shocked by what you encyclopedia says! It contains graphic explanations on HowTo:Become an Assassin and HowTo:Beat your wife!!!!! 0.0 Your journalists are also the worst scumbags ever, writing totally immoral news articles such as UnNews:Montrealer fed up with strikers dismembers one. Shocked and baffled, I tried looking for recipes and what do I find? UnRecipe:Fantastik flavored hallucinogenic ham with Uranium seasoning. You are a bunch of psychos, it's really not obvious you are joking and I do not wish to continue! Talk Mattsnow 15:19, June 7, 2012 (UTC)

The world would truly be a better place if only we could murder anyone that had a different opinion to ourselves. I understand and I wish to continue. HauntedUndies2.jpg. 13:28, June 8, 2012 (UTC)
"Think globally act locally" Spıke ¬ 13:47 8-Jun-12

Thanks for voting![edit]

I've been real busy lately, so sorry, I've got no time to make a template. But thanks for voting though! Appreciated and no, I'm not giving you any of my condoms, if you're asking. --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown.jpg 15:08, June 16, 2012 (UTC)

Your PLS article(s) have been judged and unprotected[edit]

Congratulations, participant! Mainspace 'em at your own leisure. --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFCK Oldmanonly.jpg 23:42, July 2, 2012 (UTC)