User talk:Mordillo/archive21

First

diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicks -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 11:55, August 25, 2010 (UTC)

BRING OVER THE CHAMPAGNE BOYS! ~ 15:28, August 25, 2010 (UTC)

I don't appreciate your attitude towards my religious situation

Make another crack at me cause I respect my cow ancestors and I'll smash your head like Gallagher smashes watermelons. That's right. I'll prop a comedy in your ass. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 17:50, August 25, 2010 (UTC)

I bow my head in shame and promise to avoid steaks for 48 hours. ~ 09:04, August 26, 2010 (UTC)

Could I trouble you

with deleting QI (redirect) (delete)? It seems to have slipped through the QVFD cracks—just trying to move a rewrite there. Thanks in advance. Sir MacMania GUN—[20:59 26 Aug 2010]

That'll be two thirty please. ~ 21:02, August 26, 2010 (UTC)

Do you accept counterfeit? Sir MacMania GUN—[21:10 26 Aug 2010]

I accept Zimbabwan Dollars. ~ 21:11, August 26, 2010 (UTC)

Blast you, I only have a few Ostmark left. Also, I see that the Ninjastar of David has returned as your sig. Sir MacMania GUN—[21:16 26 Aug 2010]

But of course, using the expletive template has a limited fun factor while the Jewstar has infinite options! ~ 21:20, August 26, 2010 (UTC)

Possible BUTT DRAMA!!!!

It appears that MadMax has restored BUTT POOP!!!!. For the record, I had nothing to do with its restoration. --Mn-z 12:27, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

Great... leave it to MadMax to stir up festering drama. That guy is nothing but a gigantic overrated drama queen. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 16:20, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

I think it was a way to avoid all the red links, and he didn't direct it to the original template. Socky did. Is this really worth all the hassle? ~ 16:27, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

Also Mnb, good to have you back. ~ 16:31, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

If it's going to redirect to anything other than the template, it should at least redirect to UnNews:Chrysler unrolls new line of 2009 Internet memes. pillow talk 17:01, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

Also, it would be a good idea to have BUTT POOP and BUTT POOP!!!! at least redirect to the same article. pillow talk 17:03, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

An oversight. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 17:17, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

Ummm... would it be causing excessive drama if I nominated Utter shit for VFD? Because, wow, unless the joke is that the title is self-referential... pillow talk 17:21, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

Not at all. I was just thinking I might do that too. I'm sure we'll always find something else to redirect to! -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 17:22, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

*cough* pillow talk 17:45, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

Like I said, we'll always find something else to redirect to! -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 17:53, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

Seriously, though, is there a reason you don't want to redirect there? It's a decent article that got a couple votes on VFH, and it is the genesis of the whole BUTT POOP joke... pillow talk 18:17, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

Feel free to redirect it to whatever relevant as long as it doesn't redirect to a personal space or anything related to that template. ~ 18:20, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

For the record, I only redirected those pages because it would be nonsensical having Template:BUTT POOP redirect to User:Mnbvcxz/BUTT POOP, while BUTT POOP and BUTT POOP!!!! redirected to a completely unrelated page. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:11, 27 August 2010

Gone now. Pretty sure Max is on drugs. ~ 18:13, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

The spam filter is acting up again

I had to battle to archive QVFD because a couple of pages had the word "H*gger" (not saying the word because then I won't be able to post this!), then I said in the edit summary that I was getting rid of two links that had that word in them, and it blocked me because I said it in the edit summary. I know, confusing. Anyway, is there anything we can do? Obviously, we don't want him to create a bunch of pages with that title, but this is more annoying to us than the vandals.--HM (T) 01:11, August 28, 2010 (UTC)

Actually that was me updating the spam filter. I can remove that for a while if anything is still out in the open, but I wonder if it isn't better to leave it in place after we cleaned house to avoid recurring incidents? Are their any other pieces out there? ~ 09:41, August 28, 2010 (UTC)

Okay, I agree with Mordildoz that it is necessary right now, but how long are you leaving stuff in the spam filter, Dillo? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 09:47, August 28, 2010 (UTC)

Depends, with Hagg* I was thinking permanent, I don't think we need to use that exact expression. ~ 09:59, August 28, 2010 (UTC)

I could not update my homie's dragon age article because it links to an article that begins with "smurf" and ends in "ette". Also, when I went to notify Master Mordillo about it, the spam filter blocked me for again writing a word that begins with "smurf" and ends in "ette". Sad face :( --Matfen 10:21, August 28, 2010 (UTC)

Ah. I'll remove that one but if you see our good ole vandal friend again, QVFD him. ~ 10:24, August 28, 2010 (UTC)

The same thing happened to Saber when he tried to archive BP. It was because a sock had our recurring troll friend's nickname. Is there any way to disable the spam filter for those two pages and if yes would it be a good idea?--HM (T) 16:51, August 28, 2010 (UTC)

There isn't a way as far as I am aware, it will just have to be a case of requesting an admin helps when archiving said pages. --ChiefjusticeGameCube 17:31, August 28, 2010 (UTC)

What that horrible guy just said, you can't put exceptions in the filter for specific page. I hope this can be a temporary measure that we can remove soon enough. ~ 18:27, August 28, 2010 (UTC)

Can I get permission to remove entries that set off the filter, then? Because if I don't, the entire archive page will be impossible to edit for non-admins. --HM (T) 19:52, August 28, 2010 (UTC)

Sure. Just let one of the admins know if you find such entry. Again, this is only a temporary measure. ~ 20:37, August 28, 2010 (UTC)

Not me, though. It's much too technical and I won't have the faintest idea what you're talking about. /me goes back to knapping a new flint head for my axe. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 20:54, August 28, 2010 (UTC)

Satire

I was pleased to find this as the first search result on Google: "Uncyclopedia is a community site that anyone can contribute to. Discover, share and add your knowledge!" Finally someone has understood how a satire site should be advertised. -- Style  Guide 09:52, August 28, 2010 (UTC)

Click this link

And Something magically will happen--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 01:54, August 30, 2010 (UTC)

Ol' Red

The article was featured but I did not received blue feature template--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 05:57, August 30, 2010 (UTC)

Get it yourself, just use this code {{FH|Article=Ol' Red}} . --ChiefjusticeGameCube 07:07, August 30, 2010 (UTC)

Help needed

Your block trigger finger might be a little overdeveloped but aside from that you seem to be the only sane person in this place. In any case, that prick Zim ulator whom you know seems to have a personal vendetta against me for God knows why, has now blocked me infinitely for, and I quote "being a dick", which I can only assume has the meaning of "questioning the infallible will of Zim ulator." Check out his stupifyingly patronising edit summary for blocking me. Can you talk to this idiot and find out what his problem is? Because at present he just seems to have a fanatical, Nurse Ratched like hatred of anyone who questions authority. Perhaps you know a decent psychiatrist he can talk to? I hate doing this. I'm a nice person. I don't pick fights but sometimes people just don't give me any other choice. With my genius I could be writing feature articles but that's not going to happen so long as war-mongering troglodytes like this guy take up all my time. --Ozymandiaz

He thinks he's a genius! heh heh heh.... 98.217.88.250 21:28, August 30, 2010 (UTC)

He thinks you're a sockpuppet, heh heh heh.... --User:Ozymandiaz

A man, a plan, a canal, Ozymandiz. Aleister 15:08 2 9

Ozy, the problem with your attitude is that you act as though you have contributed dozens of high quality articles and thousands of constructive edits and therefore allowed for leeway. You didn't really add much to this wiki other than going around looking for trouble and calling people names as part of some sort of a crusade you're running. Even if you had been a major contributor, you going around calling an admin a Nazi is unacceptable. Zim, apart from being an admin, has been putting hundreds if not more of his time to make the place what it is. So I don't think I'll be reverting any of his actions. If you want your account back, you can contact him via his mail and/or IRC and ask nicely. If he wants to unban you, that's his perogative. All the best. ~ 12:29, September 4, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks!

Thank you for the great belated birthday present! (Yes, August is my IRL birthday, I just hit the big 4-0.) Here, have some cake.

-- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 05:11, September 1, 2010 (UTC)

My pleasure and happy birthday! ~ 12:30, September 4, 2010 (UTC)

Problem reverting image

Hi Mordillo. I've been trying to delete certain versions of File:Baby fail.jpg for a QVFD request but no matter which one I delete/restore the image always displays the last uploaded version. Am I doing something wrong or is there a problem with Wikia? MadMax 02:19, September 3, 2010 (UTC)

It might just be a case of images lagging behind or cache or something. Give it a while, and if it still looks the same, then something is up. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 03:15, September 3, 2010 (UTC)

I tried it again but it's still not working. I'm not sure I want to mess around with it now that its on the main page though. MadMax 19:17, September 3, 2010 (UTC)

I looked at it and it's deleted now. It was probably a cache issue. Do you need an older version of it restored or is it good as is? ~ 12:32, September 4, 2010 (UTC)

The original author ended up uploading a new image so I guess the problem resolved itself. Its funny, I never had an issue reverting or restoring images up until now. When I try to restore a deleted image prior to 2008 the image will be unavailable or contain no content. MadMax 21:32, September 23, 2010 (UTC)

UnMeta Question

I noticed that UnMeta was in our list of projects @ Uncyclopedia:Community_Portal. Should it be removed since it is off-site and doesn't do much with this wiki (besides the occasional attempt to launch a crusade against Wikia?) --Mn-z 10:51, September 3, 2010 (UTC)

Good question. I was hoping that we can restore some sort of cooperation with them, but I doubt this will happen as it is run by our friends from Oncyclopedia, mainly. I've left a message for Lars on his talk page suggesting to talk things over and he didn't respond yet. If we don't get a proper response sometimes soon we'll probably want to consider out next steps. We'll need to pick up the multi language coordination again, I'll try to catch Sid and have a chat with him. ~ 12:34, September 4, 2010 (UTC)

Maybe we should replace that page with the foreign office. (And probably also work on merging Babel:Main_Page in the foreign office too while we are at it.) To the casual, or even moderately experienced user, it looks like UnMeta is charge of running the wiki, or at least multi-lingual coordination, when it fact it is not. --Mn-z 13:17, September 4, 2010 (UTC)

OK. Give me a few days and we'll fix something along these lines if we don't get some sort of feedback from them. ~ 17:38, September 4, 2010 (UTC)

The Article Whisperer

Do you think it would be a good idea to start the competition this fall or would it be better waiting until next summer? MadMax 19:08, September 3, 2010 (UTC)

Any time before November would be good really. We have the Aristocrats Ball thingy then. Don't think we need to wait until next Summer. ~ 12:36, September 4, 2010 (UTC)

I'm still having trouble finding judges. I was thinking of leaving a note here although, since its a bit off-topic, I wouldn't want to be disruptive. Do you think it would be worth making a post in the forum or would it be better to ask individual editors? MadMax 21:25, September 23, 2010 (UTC)

I think a post would probably get you more results, as we had new contributors since you started working on it, probably you'll have more candidates now. ~ 21:44, September 23, 2010 (UTC)

Jewish Logic Verus Christain Logic

Jewish Logic = we shall steal what is not our own a defecate on other's belief systems

Christian Logic = salvation

you decide the true path - I know which one I have – Preceding unsigned comment added by Apostle Of Christ (talk • contribs)

"I am always open to debate and reason" - Apostle Of Christ on his userpage. Hee hee hee! It's the way they tell 'em! --UU - natter 12:50, Sep 7

FEATURE!!! -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Although Poe's Law may apply here, I'm reasonably sure AoC is doing some pretty feeble trolling. pillow talk 15:17, September 7, 2010 (UTC)

Trolling, you say???? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Oh but this is awesome, cause he's being serious. Pity the jewish logic bit doesn't make sense. —PRICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [19:33 7 September 2010]

Little help?

So, we're doing this Pee Week competition thing, it seems. Might help, I suppose. Would you mind awfully putting something about it on the site notice on Monday, as I will be away for a long weekend with the family?

Also, while I'm about it, how was it when you caught up with the nipper - how much had he grown? How good was it to see him? How are you? Who am I? Where am I? --UU - natter 15:58, Sep 7

No problem. I just hope I won't be overwhelmed by the amount of work I'm expecting on Monday after a 3.5 weeks holiday (!) in 35-42 degrees (!!). I think my brain is fried.

It was pretty strange meeting the youngen again, he actually grew quite a lot in those couple of weeks. I think we'll need to give him a regression treatment once we're back in Amsterdam as he was surrounded by grandparents, great grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins etc, and now he's going back to having just the two of us. He's also starting a day care in October, they grow so fast </old fart>.

You are a semi Drunk Englishmen in perpetual vertigo. ~ 11:30, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

Excuse Me Please

You must have been mistaken. There is no such thing as Aquaculture International Inc. I wasn't done with this article, and I wanted it to start like any other article on a company, but later on, there are hints that Aquaculture International Inc. is much more shadier. I was trying to make a satire on huge conglomerates and the banana republics of long ago by using the fish farming business as a sort of frame. Please respond on my talk page if you can.--Marlowe Of Surrey (Talk) (Contributions) 23:01, September 7, 2010 (UTC)

Happy New Year!

(For you, anyways...) Saberwolf116 11:19, September 8, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you very much! May you have a great 5771! ~ 11:24, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

L'shanah tovah tikatevu. Isn't rugelach fantastic? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:03, September 10, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost - This is definitely not late; you're just drunk

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Won't Judge You!

Sept 9th, 2010 • Issue 93 • Our definition of "weekly" may not match yours

The pee is weak - must be time for Pee Week! By UU It's been an unusually long stretch without any kind of competition recently, but PeregrineFalcon999 has come up with a way to put paid to that! Co-incidentally, the pee queue is as long it's been in aaaaages, but PeregrineFalcon999 has come up with a way to put paid to that too! Yes, it would appear to be nearly time for the inaugural Uncyclopedia Pee Week! It starts on Monday 13th September. So, the questions must be asked: Do you have an opinion, and want to give others the benefit of it? Do you want to help people who are looking for help with their articles? Do you want to get a shiny new template award thingy? If the answer to at least one of those questions is "yes", you could be on your way to winning this soon-to-be prestigious competition! Just sign up here, and prepare to review as you've never reviewed before! The best of the 5.5 years super-extravaganza begins! By UU As we all know, there is nothing the average Uncyclopedian enjoys more than voting. Except possibly causing drama, but we'll gloss over that for the purposes of this article, because an unprecedented new opportunity to vote has arisen, thanks to amphibious serial-killer TKF. That's right, on the fifth of every month, a new vote will start to determine the best somethingorother of the 5.5 years that Uncyc has been in existence. This month's vote is already open, and it's for the writer of the 5.5 years. So get over there, vote, and make your voice heard! Again. Asked for his feelings on seeing his brainchild getting off the ground like this, TKF exclusively told us: "My grand-uncle used to tell me "He who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth, may not come forth on the fifth!" and I feel that's somehow relevant to this situation." Anyone pointing out that by the time this finishes, Uncyclopedia will be around 6 years old will be asked not to point it out again. UnNews main page By Socky Someone suggested to completely revamp the UnNews main page and in an epic move of Uncyclopedia originality, decided to hold a vote on it. Some people farted.

Check out these pages! Wikia sucks, part 469 In other news, The Pope's a Catholic Insert lie here The very pinnacle of humour From our logs: 06:16, 8 September 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.137.241.225 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You suck. Flaxmere too.) 04:13, 31 August 2010 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked 96.30.32.33 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (congratulations on bringing to our attention the fact you are a moron. you win a ban!) 05:47, 29 August 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Vertiqual (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Hey now, some of my best friends suck a lot of cock.) 18:46, 27 August 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) resurrected Mordillo (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Thank god I'm in Israel then!) 18:25, 27 August 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (According to my calculations, it's Shabbat in the 'Dam. Therefore, if you unblock yourself, you'll go to Hell. Ha ha ha!) 17:09, 21 August 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Magic man (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 15 Minutes ‎ (Update the score when you vote on VFH, cleaning up after you wears out my slippers) 02:44, 19 August 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked DarkWalrus (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Poor edits, won't listen to advice, continuos ICU removal, smells really bad, etc. etc. god damn) Biopic of the Week It's time to cover a true legend of the wiki this week, a name that still inspires awed whispers wherever connoisseurs of pee are gathered together: the one, the only One-eyed Jack! OEJ, as he is more handily known, was for some time pretty much the only person who bothered to do any pee reviews at all. Fortunately, the ones he did were pretty awesome. And he had plenty of knowledge to back him up, having birthed some seriously good featured articles. But Jack didn't just write for features - he turned his hand to improvement - check his userpage to see just how many below-par articles across the wiki had the benefit of his gently healing touch, nudging their prose from lame to lollable with a deft sprinkle of goodness. Man, we need more people like this guy. Where is he now, anyways? Old-school featured article of the week go eat shit fuckers

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 12:46, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

My computer is broken! Not this one, but another one. So...

...since I won't be near a functioning computer during the Top o' the Month changeover, can you update Uncyclopedia:Top10 10/Aug‎ using this thingy on or near the appropriate time? If not, I can do it late. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 18:24, September 10, 2010 (UTC)

Sure, it needs to be updated on the 15th right? ~ 18:53, September 10, 2010 (UTC)

At the end of the 15th. I'm on nights then, so I'll be napping at that time. Later, I'll be napping at work. It's kind of my shtick. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 19:33, September 10, 2010 (UTC)

You must be the CEO then. ~ 20:41, September 10, 2010 (UTC)

Naw. Security. Extreme security. My hands are deadly weapons. Except for the pinkies. They suck.

Oh, and open up Uncyclopedia:VFH/Top3 from the middle of last month and update it with the new top pages. And thanks. Hopefully my computer will be working soon (I'm recovering from a backup. From April, apparently). Fingers crossed. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 23:36, September 11, 2010 (UTC)

Consume this cookie!

Modusoperandi has awarded you a cookie! For being you, you beautiful you, you.

That's me! Me beautiful me! ~ 09:41, September 16, 2010 (UTC)

It is. You're no me, though. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 10:00, September 16, 2010 (UTC)

Narration news

I moved my comment from the Narration award page to the Forum, as you asked, and the response was underwhelming null. People who care about narrations might look at the award page, and might not look at the Forum. That's the problem. Spıke ¬ 12:50 12-Sep-10

Doesn't necessarily mean that it wasn't read. The award page should be for award related issues only really. You can maybe place it on the UN:AUDIO page as well, which needs to be revived anyway. ~ 10:03, September 13, 2010 (UTC)

UN:AUDIO is now referenced in UnNews:UnNewsAudio. Spıke ¬ 11:20 13-Sep-10

Re:User ass template

Ok, but whats the problem with it? Especially if the user is an ass, why give a damn if I put a template on a banned user's page? He deserve's it for being an ass--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 00:34, September 13, 2010 (UTC)

Because we're not around to call people names. If he's gone he's gone and there is no need to continue the saga by placing such templates on his page. ~ 10:04, September 13, 2010 (UTC)

If that's the case then I have to go by it, unfortuantly.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 21:55, September 13, 2010 (UTC)

Unfortunately. ~ 03:49, September 14, 2010 (UTC)

Hail Mordillo

Your Excellency! I plunked THIS on VFH with out much fore thought. And Spike doesn't think it's ready. If no one votes in 2 days please pull the nom. Much thanks for all your kindness. Cheers--Funnybony    11:11, Sep 15

You Helpfulness. I made a bunch of changes to the real name - subject, so let's see if it flys now. Please don't pull it yet. Much respect--Funnybony    20:59, Sep 15

Morning, let's let it run its course and hope democracy will not fail us as it had so many times (ie - I'll let it run for the whole duration without removing it until a definitive decision is made). ~ 07:53, September 16, 2010 (UTC)

Monaco and Oasis skins and uncyclopedia's exemption

RE: http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Forum:Why_is_uncyclopedia_so_damn_special%3F:_Mandantory_skin_does_not_effect_this_site

Hello, I am interested how uncyclopedia got an exemption from monaco and an exemption from the upcoming oasis skin. As an active bureaucrat and administrator I felt like you would be the person to ask. Is there any editor I can talk to, or any public discussion links that I can read?

I messaged another active bureaucrat/administrator too.

LOVE the site by the way, I am not funny enough to contribute much here, but it still makes me laugh.

I really appreciate your time. Thank you in advance. Ernieandburt 01:43, September 17, 2010 (UTC)

Hya, as far as I recall Wikia (or rather our contact in Wikia, sannse, has offered an exemption of their own accord due to the fact that we mimic Wikipedia and we need a skin that resembles Wikipedia, more or less. Putting the Monaco skin on the site would invalidate the whole point of it and Wikia, by the end of the day, doesn't want that. You have other examples, such as the Hebrew Uncyclopedia (Eincyclopedia) who were exempt from Monaco. Glad you like the place! And one thing I've learned here is that EVERYONE is funny, you just need to realize that and let your madness loose. ~ 07:54, September 17, 2010 (UTC)

Yo, a relief map of Nepal?

Mo' like a can of tomato soup you Fucking Honky!

Mordillo, I'm gonna chop your testicles off with a rusty knife Nigger Boi --Roman Dog Bird 05:44, September 18, 2010 (UTC)

OK, just make sure you sterilize it first. ~ 07:39, September 18, 2010 (UTC)

Need page completely locked

THIS UnNews has a crazy history. Can it be locked so only admins can edit? It's been driven off UnNews by vandals, which seems kinda like the terrorists winning. Cheers!--Funnybony    12:52, Sep 18

Done, protected for a week. ~ 13:01, September 18, 2010 (UTC)

My Mom told me not to believe in magic, but you made me a believer. Thanks and all best wishes.--Funnybony    13:11, Sep 18

William Westmoreland

Your Excellency! It is thine adoring little pest. I hold all admins to be equal over god. Okay, I won't beat around the bush. I'll get right to the point. Because otherwise it would waste unnecessary time for me to lead into this request, in spite of it's being of little importance to the glory of Uncyclopedia. And having said that, let me now say this.. I just managed to collaborate with master Sog1970 and on the above named little ditty on our favorite general. BUT, the VFH template leads people to the old 2008 failed nom. So I removed the VFH template. Can this be fixed? And now on to what I wanted to say, it, was.., shit! Can you believe that that? I totally forgot. Anyway. Cheers!--Funnybony    19:39, Sep 19

Fixed. The syntax you want to use in cases of renomniations is {{VFH|nompage=William Westmoreland (2nd nomination)}} --~ 20:03, September 19, 2010 (UTC)

Fact: Magic exists. Fact: Mordillo exists. Coincidence? I think not! Hey, thanks I forgot to mention the old 2008 nom to Aleister. - duh, I was excited. Sog's a gas.--Funnybony    21:01, Sep 19

My sig is all better now

Thanks for that. --Black Flamingo 18:00, September 21, 2010 (UTC)

No problem. ~ 19:07, September 21, 2010 (UTC)

main page edit

your main page edit was unfunny, revert it--Poiz, ABOUT ME I love uncyclopedia games. I also experiment in the sandbox. I almost never make pages, though (exept if they are my subpages). 16:38, September 23, 2010 (UTC)

Two pieces of free advice, Poiz.

1. Drop the attitude. Speaking to admins/bureaucrats like that is not going to make a favourable impression, and could potentially end up ruining your day.

2. Sign your posts on talk pages by using four tildes (~~~~). -- |c|o|d|e|i|n|e| 14:05, September 23, 2010 (UTC)

i did number 2--Poiz, ABOUT ME I love uncyclopedia games. I also experiment in the sandbox. I almost never make pages, though (exept if they are my subpages). 16:38, September 23, 2010 (UTC)

Pfft, am I supposed to be impressed? I do number 2 every day. Usually twice. pillow talk 17:09, September 23, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, eventually. But that's rather the lesser of the two points. Civility is a good virtue to practice. -- |c|o|d|e|i|n|e| 17:45, September 23, 2010 (UTC)

For shame, I was about to respond "do it yourself" when Codeine got all serious! Also, Poiz, add a number 3:

3.Fix your sig.~ 20:31, September 23, 2010 (UTC)

4.????

5.Profit.

Old jokes is the best jokes. OptyC Sucks! CUN22:09, 23 Sep

i fixed it (at least tried)--Poiz, look in my info? 00:37, October 1, 2010 (UTC)

Question about TAW judges

According to PLS, judges were barred from the competition due to community consensus. Does this apply to all writing competitions or just PLS? I ask since User:Zombiebaron brought it up here and I can't seem to find the forum topic where this was decided. Do you think it would be a good idea to let judges compete as long as it wasn't in a category they were judging? MadMax 12:33, September 24, 2010 (UTC)

Just an idea...

But what if we took one judge, specifically an "established" editor, from three groups to judge the "Best Uncyclopedia-related Article"? That way, there's only one group left to fill. MadMax 13:36, September 25, 2010 (UTC)

Sure, I don't see a problem with that as long as it's someone well established. As for your previous question I couldn't find the forum but as far as I remember that was indeed the consensus was that judges judge and don't participate in any category. --~ 14:54, September 25, 2010 (UTC)

I'm asking a judge from each group and so far User:RAHB has agreed. I've also asked User:Thekillerfroggy. Since you are the oldest of everyone, would you like to judge this category? MadMax 02:03, September 26, 2010 (UTC)

Also I've established a start date for September 27. I'm hoping that the last three judges will sign up before then but do you think that's too soon? MadMax 02:37, September 26, 2010 (UTC)

Nah, it sounds fine. We can put a sitenotice tomorrow. As for the judging, whatever you need me to do I'll do. Even though I not for a fact I'm not the oldest one around here :) --~ 16:57, September 26, 2010 (UTC)

Lol. Well the oldest active user that I know of. :) You know, everytime I come back from a break I see a lot less of the old faces and a lot more new ones. I think those are the times when I realize I've been here five years! Where does the time go... MadMax 07:27, October 21, 2010 (UTC)

Eich ani omeret "Sorry I bumped in, but I really do need a cuddle..." be'ivrit?

*אני מתרפקת עליך* - -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 15:45, 25 Sep

Permission to hang suspiciously around your back garden with a balaclava on...

..And to move this The Deficiency Bell to The Division Bell (album). It's up for VFD, but the title is wrong?--Sycamore (Talk) 18:21, September 26, 2010 (UTC)

If only I had a back garden....if you think it's essential for the VFD results, feel free. Otherwise I'd advise waiting until the vote is over. ~ 18:46, September 26, 2010 (UTC)

RE: mister poiz

done! (also testing new sig)--Poiz, ABOUT ME look in user:poiz/sig 00:24, September 27, 2010 (UTC)

Nope, that still doesn't work, as you still put half of it in plain code and half of it in the sig template. You need to put everything under the sig template, and then when you'll place your signature, you'll still get the same effect without putting all of the code on every page. ~ 11:58, September 27, 2010 (UTC)

done--Poiz, ABOUT ME look in user:poiz/sig 14:29, September 27, 2010 (UTC)

No you haven't you didn't change anything. I've placed your code in user:poiz/sig and now it should work, just fill out the "ABOUT ME" part on that page. Redirects don't really work when you put them as your sig. ~ 14:45, September 27, 2010 (UTC)

fixed my sig.--Poiz, look in my info? 17:08, September 27, 2010 (UTC)

Poiz, you're not listening. All this code - <span class="sigexpand">[[user:poiz|Poiz]],<span class="sighidden"> look in [[user:poiz/info|my info?]]</span></span> needs to be placed here. See what happens when me or anyone else signs? You get {{user:Mordillo/sig}}. With you, the whole code is presented. It's ugly and it takes lot of space. So again, take whatever you want to appear in your sig and place it here. ~ 17:30, September 27, 2010 (UTC)

when i try, i get {{SUBST:user:Poiz/sig}}--Poiz, look in my info? 17:51, September 30, 2010 (UTC)

fixed, --Poiz, look in my info? 00:40, October 1, 2010 (UTC)

Skin infection

I note they have imposed the Monarcho skin onto Uncyclopedia although they promised to keep a Wikipedia type format here. Now they’re imposing something else that nobody likes The doctors of Wikia have charted the inevitable course of this infection and nothing that Wikia users say or do will alter things. Will Uncyclopedia stay or leave? Proxima Centauri 09:20, September 29, 2010 (UTC)

You are mistaken, the default skin is still the normal Uncyclopedia one, even for unlogged users. You need to actively select Monaco to use it. ~ 09:42, September 29, 2010 (UTC)

So if I choose a particular version of Monarcho for Liberapedia and other Wikis I’m stuck with Monarcho here and the version of Monobook they give for other wikis isn’t very good. Proxima Centauri 10:19, September 29, 2010 (UTC)

I'm not sure it works that way. I have the default skin in central Wikia and that one doesn't effect Uncyclopedia's default skin and vice versa. ~ 10:22, September 29, 2010 (UTC)

Sorting it so a user doesn't see Monarcho here probably needs more computer skill than many/most Wikia users have. I've put my complaint about the skin infection here. Proxima Centauri 10:48, September 29, 2010 (UTC)

The default skin here is not Monaco, so you have to actively go and change your preferences as a logged in user, to see Monaco. I think there's probably some bizarre setting in your preferences that causes this issue. ~ 11:43, September 29, 2010 (UTC)

Explaining the private joke

Hi Mordillo! The private joke in question was on a VFH a while back. Hyperbole had voted no on this UnNews article ape nommed called "Horrific rape is vicitm's own fault" or something like that. His rationale was that it wasn't exactly subtle. He said that you're never supposed to blame the victim, and this piece blames the victim. Then he stated that "That's like writing an article titled Don't Feed the Ducks!!! and the only thing on there is a picture of a guy feeding the ducks." So I wrote that article to be smarmy.

Basically, if it weren't for hyperbole's little comment there, this page wouldn't exist. Sure yeah, it's an in-joke, but it's the bottom of the page, and how many people are gonna read that far down anyway? Just sayin'.User:Mrthejazz/sig 02:00, September 30, 2010 (UTC)

Understood, but the problem is that we're trying to eliminate all of the injoke templates and especially the "I APPROVE" ones (we had dozens of them in the past, almost every article had a "I APPROVE" one. So if it's OK with you to leave it off, I'd rather keep it like that. Good article btw, I always get to read them when I actually feature them and with that one I was sorry that I didn't vote for. ~ 07:29, September 30, 2010 (UTC)

On the subject of templates

I found this: Template:ICU/factual. It appears to be a sub-template of the ICU templates. However, it was not referenced on the ICU template page, and is unused. Additionally, it was created by He Who Must Not Be Named (the evil one, not the Anamanics fan to clarify). --Mn-z 01:59, October 1, 2010 (UTC)

That template is *pause for dramatic effect* no more. ~ 17:24, October 2, 2010 (UTC)

Battle of Salamis

I am confused by your placement of The Battle of Salamis article in the ICU. I have made various edits and was wondering if you found the updated version adequate. --PostMasterColonel 07:15, October 4, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, I think I jumped the gun on that one. It seems fine. You might want to work on the formatting a bit (picture wise it doesn't look great with two rows of pictures) but otherwise it's good. You can always place it here for additional feedback. ~ 07:33, October 4, 2010 (UTC)

Hug time

Lyrithya has deemed you worthy of a hug for some reason. Thus, you may now consider yourself hugged. At this point, you may also want to consider checking your pockets so as to ascertain that everything is still there.

Something you did gave me cheer. I won't specify what, but still, I thank you. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101004 - 13:57 (UTC)

Thanks, not something evil and nasty I hope. ~ 14:03, October 4, 2010 (UTC)

Nope, not this time. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101004 - 16:06 (UTC)

How come Mordillo gets all the ladies? Sheesh. pillow talk 18:22, October 4, 2010 (UTC)

It's my enormous..err...sense of humor? ~ 18:35, October 4, 2010 (UTC)

No he doesn't! He's still my hug-ban-dispenser (it's a flip of a coin, that...) -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 20:25, 4 Oct

She's right about that one. She branded me a few years back. In Finnish. Still trying to figure out if it's her name or "consume by this date". ~ 21:20, October 10, 2010 (UTC)

Err... if you look closely, that's Swedish for "nice ass"... And look who's talking, when the nickname you gifted me with is as good as Hebrew to me! -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 22:05, 10 Oct

Broken Template

It appears that {{MonthlyAwards}} is broken, i.e. it is not closed. If you look at the mainpage, it is enveloping the "Sista projects" template below it. Additionally, it is fouling up the table on this list of templates. --Mn-z 13:50, October 5, 2010 (UTC)

Another template issue

{{MTUsign}} is a template which suggests moving an article to the UnDictionary. It seems like a valid template, but it places articles in a non-existent category: Category:Move to Undictionary and its unused. I really don't know or care if we should keep it, but if we do, we should probably recreate the deleted cat. --Mn-z 14:05, October 5, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, missed those. I don't see the issue with the MonthlyAwards one. Was it fixed? With the MTU, I think it can just be created. It doesn't hurt anyone. ~ 18:46, October 10, 2010 (UTC)

The MonthlyAwards is not closed. It is enveloping the template below it. Notice how the yellow box extends to the bottom of the page, surrounding the purple sista projects. It is not much of an issue there, but on the list of template page, its causing all kind of havoc since its in another template which in turn is in a table. Here is what it causes the page to look like. The bad coding is probably an artifact from the days of the old parser when template code did not effect anything beyond the template. --Mn-z 21:06, October 12, 2010 (UTC)

To pester you some more...

Because I really like annoying admins. Really. I do. It's the highlight of my day.

But in all seriousness, I figure I might as well ask... could I, by any chance, get rollback rights? I'm not exactly the most competent around here, but I don't think I'd do that much damage, and it would be rather useful. So I figured I'd ask.

Please and whatnot?

*hides* ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101011 - 02:12 (UTC)

(Oh, I could use rollbacksies, too. The .js version I have isn't working, not thanks to Dad, who I copied it from... But don't worry about it. I've pestered you for almost 3 years, and survived without it... ^_^ -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 13:45, 11 Oct )

You know the drill ladies, in 20 words or more describe how you'll misuse rollback for your own nefarious reasons. ~ 19:38, October 12, 2010 (UTC)

Would using it on myself count as nefarious? Like how with just javascript I managed to accidentally add myself to ban patrol within five minutes of turning the tab thingies on... or maybe I added my userpage to qvfd. I forget which. One of those, anyway. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101012 - 20:07 (UTC)

In a few words... I would make another massive mess of accidental edits, most often, though, it'd be used to bash IP edits back where they came from, if the edits seem nonsensical, rude or vain. But my vain-radar is even worse than my gaydar... let alone my cyberbully-dar. And that doesn't sound like it makes sense to even me. I'm probably getting a flu here. Can I haz Mamma-Dillo's chicken soup mailed to my home address? Be'vakasha? ^_^ -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 04:28, 13 Oct

Hey, I'd revert the bad people, too. I might get confused sometimes and revert myself reverting vandals... but... er... that doesn't usually happen? I wish I was kidding. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101013 - 05:05 (UTC)

Rollback Plunger approved ladies. Use it well. ~ 14:27, October 15, 2010 (UTC)

/me looks up from trying to cram more caffeine into the server hamster-caffeinator with plunger shaft Wait what? Responsibility? O_O /me runs away screaming -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 15:21, 15 Oct

*pokes it* Hmm... links... *pokes it again* Eeek! *runs away, flailing* ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101015 - 19:52 (UTC)

Oh noes, you've got two blondes with unfamiliar buttons! -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 20:21, 15 Oct

Have we broken anything yet? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101016 - 00:13 (UTC)

HALP! I think I broke something! -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 09:29, 16 Oct

No wait... The 5 month old puppyodog was chewing on the internet cable. I think the hamsters are still alive... *phew* -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 09:50, 16 Oct

Why does your user/talk page think it's different?

While every other tab I have open has the big U and potato logo thing at the beginning of the URL bar, the one that says "User talk:MoarDildo" actually has a big Wikia-ish "W". O_o

Is this evidence of the Cabal? -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 13:45, 11 Oct

Now the thing looks "normal" again. Maybe it's my browser... *kicks Flamin'foxie-thing* -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 21:37, 11 Oct

It's something that happens to EBIL WIKIA servers every now and then. ~ 19:38, October 12, 2010 (UTC)

I just suspected it was a browser-based conspiracy to drive me mad. But ah well...

...aren't I described as evil, too? What's wrong with being evil?

...

...Okay, never mind that last sentence. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 04:31, 13 Oct

There's nothing wrong with being evil. Don't believe what people say to the contrary, silly things. Nothing at all. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101013 - 04:57 (UTC)

It depends on the sub-category of evil. Usually, if someone calls me evil, they mean it in the "Are you seducing me again, you minx? I can't take this anymore, my wife's beginning to get suspicious..." But that's on the back-burner, and I'm mostly a good spousal unit to a certain "Mr Luvvy"... ^_^ -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 17:30, 13 Oct

Meeeh. That ain't evil. That's just what they get for not having good enough wives. *shifty eyes* Mostly? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101013 - 23:07 (UTC)

UnNews:Shit That Pisses Me Off

Sir Mor, you never cease to amaze me. Good jump on deleting that crap. You're awesome. Really! Cheers!--Funnybony    21:31, Oct 11

All part of my MASTER PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. Ahem. Yes. ~ 19:36, October 12, 2010 (UTC)

My fucking user page.

My user page was massed with by the IP 189.239.66.169. Long story short: I don't know how to fix it. Just take a look for your self: User:Magic man. Your an admin, can you help me??? -- 01:48, October 12, 2010 (UTC)

I'm an idiot... Never mind. -- 01:54, October 12, 2010 (UTC)

I'll just ignore this then and go have another cup of tea that's what MrN used to to do, god bless his little heart ~ 19:38, October 12, 2010 (UTC)

Tiebreaker situation

Judging for the General knowledge category is finished but ended up a tiebreaker. I didn't see how to handle that particular situation here. Should PuppyOnTheRadio just pick from his two choices or would his #1 pick be given the prize? MadMax 05:23, October 12, 2010 (UTC)

I actually don't see a problem with ties. If we have them every year in the top 10 articles, I don't see a reason why not to allow it here. ~ 19:35, October 12, 2010 (UTC)

Oh ok. I was worried there for a minute. Thanks. MadMax 20:00, October 12, 2010 (UTC)

Question about DYK

I've been fooling around with {{DYK}} again and, so far, I've been getting three images to show up on the main page. This fills up a lot of empty space the DYK section is taking up on the main page but the Wikipedia only has one image for its DYK section. Right now, I just put them into the DYK template like normal entries but they aren't showing up. Is there a template connected to DYK that could make them appear more frequently? Maybe {{DidYouKnow}}? MadMax 11:27, October 13, 2010 (UTC)

I've had better luck editing the main page directly but there was a pretty big space in between the first image and text fact. I fixed this when I used {{DYKimage}} on {{DYK}} but I'm not sure how to fix this problem on the main page itself. MadMax 22:28, October 13, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, was busy at work. Is this still an issue? ~ 14:31, October 15, 2010 (UTC)

I think I've fixed it. I keep checking on the main page whenever I'm here and it seems to be working alright now. The good news is that I've found a use for a lot of unused images in the process. MadMax 07:20, October 21, 2010 (UTC)

Question about DICK

I just wanted to know what you liked so much about them? I have heard from my sources that you are a fan. A big fan. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 15:05, October 13, 2010 (UTC)

By sources he means me, and by fan he means sucker. --ChiefjusticeGameCube 08:39, October 14, 2010 (UTC)

Well you know, they're so big and strong. The fan blades. Not the dicks. Obviously. ~ 14:28, October 15, 2010 (UTC)

♥

Fuckin' Jew. -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:49, 16 Oct

Why do people think it'd a bad thing? It's just who I am. It's like calling someone a fucking American.

...

...

...

oh ~ 07:55, October 16, 2010 (UTC)

The Wikia thing

The new page formation for some users and logger-oners is, as you can see from the forum, of great concern to me. Yet I trust that you and the other admin's will talk wikia down and get back our clean pages. Good luck in those discussions, if they occur. What are your thoughts on it, if you can share them? Thanks. Aleister 17:33 16 10

As I said, I don't think an issue exists since I checked the default skin setting (any admin can set the default one for the entirety of the users) and it's still set as the Uncyclopedia one. So I don't think they introduced any changes but rather it's a glitch related to their new "look". I don't believe they'd do such thing without letting us know. Also, I tried to replicate it and I couldn't. Are you still getting the odd look? ~ 18:49, October 16, 2010 (UTC)

Did you create a new account? Did you? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101016 - 18:59 (UTC)

Whether intentional or not, it's definitely an issue. Logged out it looks normal (Uncyclopedia skin), but when I register a new account it suddenly changes to the new Oasis skin and I get an ad about "6 maanden gratis gsm abonnement" at the top. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:21, 16 October 2010

6 maanden gratis?! I'd go for that if I were you! OK, I'll have a chat with sannse. ~ 20:32, October 16, 2010 (UTC)

It's very similar to wackypedia, almost identical. Horrid. Come one, make a sockpuppet. You can do it. Or are you running many sockpuppets? Is that why Ethine and Dexter and a couple others have gone away, you didn't have the time to run them lately? Oh well. Seriously, it's bad, very bad, and I don't know how to describe it unless you take a look youself, and that would mean a sock. Which means new users signing in would get the horrid, and the good ones would surely run. Aleister 20:50 16 10

This rollback thing...

I was going to thank you for it, but I think it just caused me to break a forum. Er... oops.

So... um... well, still thanks, but this thing is way more complicated than I expected! *flails* ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101018 - 00:20 (UTC)

Your welcome. Now pick up that Xing vase you broke while flailing. ~ 07:44, October 18, 2010 (UTC)

I can clear that out... Don't ya worry, gramps... /me shuffles away a hurdle of sex toys that were hidden away in the vase... -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 12:08, 18 Oct

*pockets a couple when Luvvy isn't looking and whistles innocently* ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101018 - 13:30 (UTC)

Matt (Death Note)

Why was it huffed?

If you're talking about the last revision - it was 2 lines long and not funny. ~ 07:44, October 18, 2010 (UTC)

'yo, waz up?

Hi, haven't dropped by much. You've done wonders with the place. New carpeting? On the feature landscape, Disguise has the votes and I've fixed some of what it could be like feaured on the main page. The page to feature is probably Disguise/disguised which is what the page bounces to when the mask is removed. I've linked the first use of Disguise back to that page so the reader will get there first. Is it possible to link the "more" at the bottom of the main-page presentation to an article? If not changed it would link to the unmasked page, but if linked to "Disguise" it would also bounce the reader to the masked article. Make sense? The page, if featured, would be changed back to an unmoving disguise which has been reverted a couple of times and not the track-down version. Removing my "oh goody, a feature" feeling from it, maybe you can stick "Disguise/disguised" on the que and play with the links to see if they work (especially that "more" link). And the red-costumed should entice readers into the page and then into the Groucho mask. Thanks, long note for minor points. Aleister 10:22 19 10

Oh gods... this has gotten out of hand; the thing is way too confusing, especially with the pending feature... I thought I'd have a better solution by now. But then I gave up and nobody else came up with anything better, either. I'm so sorry. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101019 - 14:21 (UTC)

Yes, I sort of got lost there as well. I'll try to place it in simple terms so even idiots like me can understand: the blurb should be Disguise/disguised and the "more" link should lead to Disguise? ~ 14:54, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

Yes. How do you do that? You are a master of language. Or. . . of disguise. Aleister 17:21 19 10

about the feature protection

please protect the subpages of disguise if you want to restrict editing.--Poiz, look in my info? 21:05, October 20, 2010 (UTC)

Userpage question

I wanted to put {{TAWjudge}} on your userpage but I wasn't sure how you have your awards set up. I'm guessing you probably want to handle it yourself? :) MadMax 07:15, October 21, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Max! I think it was a success, even though the judges were lazy buggers. How do you feel it went? ~ 22:20, October 23, 2010 (UTC)

I think it went pretty well for my first time out. We got a lot of great articles, two features and a new editor out of it. I hope the next competition does just as well second time around. MadMax 04:11, October 31, 2010 (UTC)

Silly question

I had this horrible nightmare, where I was an admin on some site, but think I was having a bad dream, with the winged-monkey-bots and typewriters and stuff... I hope. Wanna pinch me? Maybe I just had a bad day at work, but I still feel sorta surreal... O_o -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 12:32, 21 Oct

woosh, I think you need a drink and a holiday. Not necessarily in that order. Feeling better btw? ~ 22:20, October 23, 2010 (UTC)

I actually got away without a holiday... Until I got this godawful flu and ended up having nightmares of the UN meeting chamber being flooded in a near future where Sarah Palin is president and I'm a janitor tying to solve the flood with a plunger... I really think I had a fever when I dreamt that one up... XD -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 19:45, 13 Nov

Procopius

'Ello. Now, I don't pretend to know what goes through TKF's mind *shudder*, but Procopius was evidently blocked for a year yesterday. I'm assuming this is a joke block, but he's been asking in IRC to be unbanned. Naturally, I've not seen any sysops present in IRC. Assuming it is a joke ban, could you lift it? He'll probably give you a hug or something. --Andorin Kato 02:04, October 22, 2010 (UTC)

Ah, Zombiebaron got it. Carry on. --Andorin Kato 06:25, October 22, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry I was late to the rescue. I promise to improve my SLA O_O ~ 22:20, October 23, 2010 (UTC)

Penis

One-Adam-twelve. Name's Spike. Was workin' the weekend shift at Penis and got a call (Talk:Penis, lower half of Section 5) 'bout anti-Semitism in the article (presumably at Penis#Circumcision).

I didn't put it in, I ain't takin' it out; see if you want to. I ain't offended, but that don't prove nuthin'. Spıke ¬ 20:41 23-Oct-10

Took me five minutes to understand what was this all about, but that's probably because I just came back from a new Whiskey bar I found, one which servs over 1200 brands of Whiskey! O_O Anyways, don't see any problem with that joke. Just another in a sea of repeatable Jewish themes. But hey, who are we to deprive the masses of their opium? ~ 22:20, October 23, 2010 (UTC)

Your response to Baron is appropriate, and funny. Above, I may have assumed unwisely that you were familiar with U.S. television series about police and detectives. Or it may have been the whiskey. Spıke ¬ 22:34 23-Oct-10

No it was the whiskey, othen than growing up on Police Quest I get to see every chapter of Law&Order, CSI, NCIS, Criminal Minds, Bones, The Closer, Numbers...etc, since this is the only kind of shows the Dutch Television plays. ~ 06:55, October 24, 2010 (UTC)

I'm vandalisng your... talkpage. Gorrammit...

Nominated World's Best Friend

This user has been nominated for World's Best Friend—you can vote for them or nominate your favourite users at the voting page.

What that says. I'd vandalise your userpage with this template, but... I can't. *melodramatic sigh* So, er, here. You can move it if you want... ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101023 - 21:51 (UTC)

And so I shall. Andathankyouverymuch. ~ 22:20, October 23, 2010 (UTC)

יש לך רגע?

אתה יודע איפה למצוא את מי מתעלל שפת האם שלך. בבקשה? -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 22:47, 23 Oct

That makes you sound like a Russian imigrant :) ~ 06:59, October 24, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, my Hebrew is very much crappy. But even Americans give me one look, and go "do you speak Russian?", so I guess there's something about me... ^_^ (I did try, but Google Translate can only do so much with the non-Indo-European stuffies. Google-Finnish is a nightmare!) -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 09:29, 24 Oct

Sorry for asking something unrelated, too

Should I possibly have been less friendly and helpful abut S1312's noob welcoming spree? I started feeling as if I got sort of corrected by you and Zombiebaron, when you guys decided to ban and warn and such. Am I in trouble now, too? :o (Oh! an IP I told to join made an user account and is now being really nice, asking me for help. I may end up "adopting" a n00b (established Brazilian Un-Editor, so not really much to "teach" there) again. You'll be a great great great grandpa next!) *hug?* -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 13:39, 24 Oct

Nah, we're the one the are getting paid to be evil, you can keep going being cuddley! ~ 18:56, October 24, 2010 (UTC)

Your spelling suggest you may have had a single malt too many... ^_^ Where's my hug?! -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 19:27, 24 Oct

Surely not possible to have a single malt too many? Well, there was that one time when I drank a litre of the stuff - maybe that was a little over the top. Thought I was going to die, and by all rights probably should have done. I wanted to, the next morning, too. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:00, November 4, 2010 (UTC)

That's better than me splitting a bottle of tequila with the girl who was dating the brother of one of my exes and both bastard brothers broke our hearts and... I still can't remember ten hours of that night... >.< -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 18:20, 4 Nov

The trouble with tequila, I have found, is that it doesn't get you drunk until five minutes after you stop drinking it. This is not a worry if you only have enough for a shot or two, but dangerous if you have a bottle. Having once again found that I had consumed an entire bottle of it, not realising I was almost fatally drunk until afterwards, one time too many I decided to just avoid the stuff altogether. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:43, November 4, 2010 (UTC)

I drink tequila, but only in Margaritas, and only two of such at any one time. But they're darn delicious... ^_^ -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 19:48, 4 Nov

Oh yes, a margarita is a wonderful thing. Quite fancy a few cocktails now, actually - a dry martini and a kir royale would go down very well. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:52, November 4, 2010 (UTC)

Mmmm... alcohol... Not that I'm craving it. NO! Definitely not. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 20:19, 4 Nov

Uncyclopedia:VFH/Tommy Wiseau

It seems weird how only 2 relatively unknown users and 1 IP voted for it. On a related note, Ultraman22 & MaxRebo120 both seem to want similar people to be on {{AoED}}. --Mn-z 18:44, October 24, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, dealt(ish) with both. ~ 18:56, October 24, 2010 (UTC)

Looking at some of there edits, all 5 seem to focus on the same pages. I don't have the time right now to see how much they co-relate though, it may be just of coincidence. --Mn-z 02:50, October 25, 2010 (UTC)

Asked for a checkuser, let's see how this goes. ~ 20:34, October 25, 2010 (UTC)

On a related note

KingKlunk, a new user, seems to want to add Uwe Boll to the AoED template. --Mn-z 02:27, October 31, 2010 (UTC)

May I have rollback rights?

Socky suggests on User talk:SPIKE that I would find rollback rights useful in performing "mercy moves to userspace," like the shameless self-promotion planted on UnNews today, without creating redirects that he has to huff; and suggested that I talk to you. I replied that it would also be useful to let me fix and shorten UnNews headlines. Spıke ¬ 01:13 25-Oct-10

Oh Spike, I should probably tell you that I can't huff things. Which has little to do with my breathing abilities, but rather is related to the fact that I'm not an admin. If I were an admin, I wouldn't have to ask Mordillo to edit a protected page, which is what I'm doing in the following section. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:32, 25 October 2010

Useful clarification. I thought you had raised the subject of rollback rights because you were working QVFD and I was causing you unnecessary work! Spıke ¬ 02:39 25-Oct-10

OK, I'll add rollback. Please be careful when doing "mercy moves" to avoid antagonizing potential new writers. Also, when you want to clarify why you reverted, use the undo (or edit) since rollback doesn't give the explaination over the edit summary. ~ 20:34, October 25, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks. I hope not to antagonize, and Socky even asked me yesterday why I had been so gentle with the guy. Spıke ¬ 20:49 25-Oct-10

He's probably frustrated with them not having a government for err....20 years now, so he's tougher than usual. ~ 20:55, October 25, 2010 (UTC)

Dreaming

The image accompanying today's feature is an animation. Sadly, Wikia's image servers are somewhat animation-impaired, as they continuously fail to correctly render animations smaller than the size they were originally uploaded as. As such, the image accompanying today's feature is not being rendered correctly. The best easiest way to solve this would be by replacing it with an inanimate image. Personally, I'd suggest the Marilyn Monroe one. Shalom! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:32, 25 October 2010

Done. Add it under the EBIL WIKIA list. ~ 20:34, October 25, 2010 (UTC)

got a mo?

Possibly one with a "ment" on the end? I could do with a sane admin in IRC for a moment, there's just an Olipro at the moment :( -- sannse (talk) 20:36, October 25, 2010 (UTC)

Proposed revision of VFD rules

User:SPIKE/VFDRules2 is a proposed rewrite of {{VFDRules2}}. Along with better organization (directing appropriate information to each audience), it adds the following:

• Less typographical excess
• Nominators: What to look for in linked pages to detect a previous nomination
• Nominators: Overview of the editing necessary to make a nomination
• Voters: New recommendation to cast each vote as a separate edit
• Admins: Mention of the new 24-hour rule
• Admins: Reminder to delete {{VFD}} on kept pages, for completeness

Install if you see fit. Spıke ¬ 16:13 28-Oct-10

Would it be too much to ask that we put it, collapsed down, in one of those "click to expand" boxes? The old "rules" section is already wearing out the wheel on my mouse. pillow talk 16:33, October 28, 2010 (UTC)

 For. Spıke ¬ 19:01 28-Oct-10

Er... Love, if it was put like that, the idiots would probably be even less inclined to read it than they are now... ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101030 - 03:09 (UTC)

SPIKE, some of your sentences are downright confusing. Just so you know. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101028 - 19:48 (UTC)

Took this up with her on her talk page and made further edits to the proposal.

---

A separate problem: I did this without considering or integrating the instructions in the intro, which are in a separate template. Ideally, they too would be combined with this. Spıke ¬ 02:51 30-Oct-10

Rev 2 corrects this:

• Everyone: Adds rule not to remove text from VFD
• What not to nominate: Adds rule against re-nominating within the month
• Nominators: Adds step to tag nominated article with {{VFD}}
• Voters: More complete syntax instructions; adds paragraph on explaining your vote
• New sections on saving articles and changing votes. Spıke ¬ 12:27 30-Oct-10

Sorry Spike, didn't get a time to read this properly yet. Will try to get to it later today. ~ 08:29, November 1, 2010 (UTC)

Halloween Logo

• Hey Mordillo how's it going? I was wondering if you could upload this logo that Sonje and I made overtop of the site logo sometime tomorrow night? I was planning to do it myself, but it now turns out that I will be away from my computer during tomorrow night. Thanks. -- The Zombiebaron 02:25, October 30, 2010 (UTC)

Sure. So it's for October 31st? ~ 07:51, October 30, 2010 (UTC)

Yes it is for the 31st. Thanks Mordillo! -- The Zombiebaron 08:12, October 30, 2010 (UTC)

np. ~ 08:13, October 30, 2010 (UTC)

Leggo my logo

Hi! Happy Halloween! Thanks for featuring two of my pages in a row, that was very nice. Like a Halloween present, with a box wrapped in nice paper and then when you open it ghouls pop out to eat your eyes. Party like it's Halloween, 1999! Aleister 21:53 20 10

So it's YOU to blame for the extra work eh? What, you couldn't fail your articles over VFH like the rest of us?! Happy Halloween ~ 21:55, October 30, 2010 (UTC)

Halloween comes but once a year, so we have to make the most of it. I try to scare children by giving them chocolate razor blades in candy apples. And I've lost count of my VFH failures, stack 'em up like tinderwood. Aleister 22:09 30 10

Date for TAW 2011?

Do you have a suggestion on when the next TAW should be? I was thinking of holding it after the next PLS (which I assume will be in the spring) and again in September/October. Also I was thinking of a sort of "mini-contest" over Christmas vacation based on Skullthumper's Hourly writing contest. MadMax 03:55, October 31, 2010 (UTC)

I think the PLS will be around June next year (as this year we're doing June(ish) and another one in December. So I think anything between those dates would be good. ~ 09:44, October 31, 2010 (UTC)

About the mini-contest, I thought about modifying it slightly by holding it for a full 24-hours rather than 1 hour and announcing it, maybe, 6 hours before it starts. Other than that, it basically follows the same rules as Skullthumper's contest. Would this work or do you think I would be better off sticking to the original format? MadMax 05:22, November 10, 2010 (UTC)

Um...

There seems to be a piece of text missing in the featured bit of Cheryl Cole. More exactly, "An icon, an inspiration, a role model." Without that part, the introduction is pretty much borked. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:48, 1 November 2010

Fixed. Probably was drunk, asleep or both. ~ 08:19, November 1, 2010 (UTC)

Redirect to Userspace

YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL MOTHERFUCKER! appears to redirect to a userspace page for some reason. (I.e. MadMax being overzealous against redlinks) I was under the impression that you didn't want a mainspace redirect to that page. --Mn-z 00:40, November 3, 2010 (UTC)

True, thanks for the headsup. ~ 01:24, November 3, 2010 (UTC)

How Am I?

Busy as all fuck, still not funny, and that IRL stuff you know about still not good. But things are getting a little more optimistic, UUette is still awesome, and I may be seeing a light at the end of a tunnel. Not sure it's the right tunnel yet, but there y'go. How in the devil are you, and how's the 'Dillo family? --UU - natter 15:26, Nov 3

Doing good I think! The youngen is just about starting to crawl and he's VERY fond of cables. Pulling at them that is. Otherwise, busy is fuck with work and life in general but all is good. I'll send you an email to see how IRL is. Good to see you around mate! ~ 15:30, November 3, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry for messing with you like that

I just had to give that edit summary a try, ya know? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:58, 3 November 2010

Bastard. ~ 16:01, November 3, 2010 (UTC)

'Dillo, my old chavver

Not seen nor heard much of you just lately. How're things? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:57, November 4, 2010 (UTC)

Hey mate, all is good. Just been very very busy with work and can't find as much time as I'd like to spend here. Hopefully it will be easier in a couple of weeks when a Ibig project is going to finish. How is life in the UK? I'll probably be coming over there soon again (London and Miadenhead) so we have to have that pint at one point or another. ~ 21:13, November 4, 2010 (UTC)

I know what you mean - been horrendously busy myself. It's been worth it, though - I got offered a promotion yesterday :-) Definitely up for that pint, I'll track down some of that gefilte fish in breadcrumbs we were talking about, it really is the best way to eat gefilte fish. One thing though - don't go to Maidenhead if you help it. The place is an utter shithole that exists only to provide "real life cops" TV programmes with an endless stream of fresh material. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:03, November 5, 2010 (UTC)

Can't realy help it, it's work related. I did, however, had one of the best dinners of my life at this place last time I as there. Maybe I'll convince the misus to turn it into a weekend in London afterwards. And good luck on your promotion! ~ 17:08, November 5, 2010 (UTC)

Tell your employers that you need a payrise if they're going to make you go there. Mrs. Rabbi lived and worked there for over a year more than a decade ago, and still turns pale when reminded of it. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:11, November 5, 2010 (UTC)

My Uncle and three charming cousins live in Maidenhead... --UU - natter 22:06, Nov 5

FYI

I have replied on my talk page. Special Cases ^talk /_sign 15:56, November 5, 2010 (UTC) Again. Special Cases ^talk /_sign 17:24, November 5, 2010 (UTC)

What happened to the other languages?

There used to be uncyclopedias in other languages.

What happened to them?

EoGuy 02:17, November 6, 2010 (UTC)

I'll take a stab: There still are; on many articles, you'll see, in the list on the left edge of your screen, names of foreign languages--these are direct links to the article's counterpart on a foreign wiki. The UnNews Front Page has, at the bottom, a list of foreign news sites (you'll have to click Show); and the Uncyclopedia home page may have links to foreign wikis. Spıke ¬ 02:25 6-Nov-10

influenced by Kind Bud

Hi, Dillo. Yeah, nobody messes with me here. I like it. And there are users here who actually like my, er... uhm... writing. I don't actually spend very much time here, but it's peaceful around here. While I convalesce, or whatever it is that I'm doing now, it's nice not to worry as I used to. Spike is doing a bang-up job, from what I've seen. Somebody ought to promote him as an Editor, wink wink, nudge nudge. I hope fatherhood is being easy enough on you. I guess I should say, I hope you haven't become as fucked up in the mind as I... yet, anyway. Cheers! Presently not disGruntled - Exchange ideas 05:02, 6 Novelniver 2010 (UTC) AKA Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 05:22, November 6, 2010 (UTC)

Shingle malt is good!

You should have some! I am tipsy and I'm spamming your talk page with hugs! *HUG!*

• HUG!*
• HUG!*
• HUG!*
• HUG!* --The previous waste of brain matter comment was posted by CuddlyfuzzyLuvveeh

UnSignpost - The UnSignpost Rides Again!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

You'd be crazy not to listen!

Nov 11th, 2010 • Issue 94 • The Newspaper that shaves you closer!

The UnSignpost Rides Again! By Chief A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, the Rebels attained victory over the Imperial Empire and the last UnSignpost flopped onto talk pages. The drought came as Under user announced that he had a life to be getting on with, and at that point the UnSignpost simply stopped writing itself. Some people have suggested that these two events may be linked somehow, but until we see proof, we have resolved to live in ignorance. However as we hurtle towards the end of the year it would seem the magic has returned and the newspaper that confusingly contains neither news or paper will once again be arriving on talk pages weekly monthly annually whenever we can manage it. Newer recipients of the UnSignpost are urged to suggest ideas for stories in the press room; this helps as it means we don't need to pay attention to anything you people do every day. For now, please welcome the UnSignpost back into your homes and hearts... please? Speak up! By Chief For those of you who may be unfamiliar with The Article Whisperer, permit me to clear the waters somewhat with this bit of text I have, at great personal risk, copied off the competition page. It is: "An annual writing competition held by Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles", which I think we can all agree is absolutely splendid. Unfortunately, all our intrepid journalists were saving Kittens from trees and generally performing heroic deeds when the competition took place, but that won't stop us from talking about it. Lyrithya and Matfen were the biggest winners, or losers depending on how you look at it, each being Grand Champion of two categories. Competition founder MadMax was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press, so we have made something up instead: "The competition was a great success and I would like to thank everyone who took part; especially ChiefjusticeDS who is absolutely fantastic and whom I owe many drinks", he might have said. The Article Whisperer is expected to take place again next year, and MadMax might have said "Take part or die", but probably not. The Aristocrat's By Chief & Mhaille Few competitions stir the loins more than The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball, self described as Uncyclopedia's festival of frivolity and bad taste. The competition has three categories: The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball Best Bad Taste Article The Master Goa Tse Award for Digital Imagery If you aren't a writer (we are led to believe some people are not), then 3 Judges are needed for each of the above categories (see here). Seriously, this will be so much fun you will wish we did it twice a year... maybe. The competition opens on November 19th, so put on a stout pair of writing trousers and get going!

Check out these pages! Bed Never on Sunday Anything interesting happening? Zombiebaron That's so 2005 From our logs: 16:29, November 10, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 435 seconds ‎ (You're reviving the Signpost? Good luck! Now to think of a witty ban reason to get me in the "From Our Logs" section. Penis. That ought to do it. It would if I was editing it.) 04:27, November 10, 2010 MadMax (Talk | contribs) blocked 124.181.83.75 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Normally you'd probably be reading a witty message from an admin. Obviously, I'm not one of those admins. Gotta tell you, you're missing out.) 10:36, November 9, 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.42.244.217 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (List 350 reasons why I should care about your birthday, and I'll reverse the ban.) 08:10, November 10, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked EatPoo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Alas, dear sir, you are afflicted with the stupid) 16:31, November 10, 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 435 years ‎ (Stop being supposedly here and BE HERE. YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART) Biopic of the Week Do you hear that? Thought not, because this week we are taking a closer look at one of Uncyclopedia's true unsung heroes, Black flamingo. He has a whopping 12.5 feature credits; that's more than 5 feature credits and 6 feature credits put together! Not only that, but Black flamingo has been instrumental in keeping Pee Review afloat while you weren't. Respect this man immediately or I will punch a Zebra, that's how committed I am to getting him recognised. Head over to his talk page right now and doff your helm. Now, dammit! Don't make me fetch the Zebra. Old-school featured article of the week The term "Paul is dead" (PID) refers to an urban legend or a hoax perpetrated either on the musical group The Beatles by their fans or vice-versa. According to the legend, bass guitarist and singer Paul McCartney was replaced by a lookalike after his alleged death in an auto accident in the mid-60s. Proponents of this hoax cite obscure clues embedded within the Beatles' lyrics, symbolism in their album covers, and Wings as evidence that the "real" Paul didn't survive into the 1970s. This manuscript reveals the full chilling truth. I've read it, and it will blow your tiny mind.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

VFS

It appears it the vote for the end of October has not be cleared yet. --Mn-z 01:48, November 12, 2010 (UTC)

Is it to your standards?

[my sig, that is] Special Cases ^talk /_sign 15:44, November 12, 2010 (UTC)

Yes. Thanks for fixing. ~ 15:50, November 12, 2010 (UTC)

“My iron lung is working again!”

~ Firesign Theater on your signature

--Spıke ¬ 15:52 12-Nov-10

One small job...

I am trying to do something here that needs you. Copy the text here and paste it to here. The reason I need you is because I can't edit an interface page, only admins can. Thanks. Special Cases ^talk /_sign 19:19, November 12, 2010 (UTC)

What is it to do, why will it improve anything? --ChiefjusticeGameCube 19:31, November 12, 2010 (UTC)

If you want to play with javascript, then I suggest you simply create it at User:Special Cases/Sandbox/Popups.js - you can then apply it to yourself by editing here and inserting the following:

 document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="'
  + 'http://uncyclopedia.org/index.php?title=User:Special_Cases/Sandbox/Popups.js' 
  + '&action=raw&ctype=text/javascript&dontcountme=s"></script>');

There's no reason why this would need to be placed in the MediaWiki namespace. -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 19:54, November 12, 2010 (UTC)

This is navagation popups, turns your mouse into a crystal ball. Got it from WP. What if I try to get Huggle on here? Special Cases ^talk /_sign 20:55, November 12, 2010 (UTC)

Per Olipro. Also, I know this specific JS, it was implemented here a while ago and it stopped working due to Mediawiki mismatch with Wikipedia, which is where I assume you took it from. ~ 19:57, November 12, 2010 (UTC)

Yup. Correct. What if I tryed to get Huggle here? Special Cases ^talk /_sign 20:49, November 12, 2010 (UTC)

How about you stop trying to take things from wikipedia to here and get on with something useful? --ChiefjusticeGameCube 21:12, November 12, 2010 (UTC)

It's worked! Popups! Get your free popups now! It's easy:

Just place this:

importScript('User:Special Cases/popups.js');

into your monobook.js or uncyclopedia.js file!

In the words of Brian Blessed: NOOOOOO, ARE YOU RETARDED? it's uncyclopedia.js -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 16:20, November 13, 2010 (UTC)

And? I use monobook. -- Special Cases ^talk /_sign 08:11, November 14, 2010 (UTC)

“Hey you! Don't watch this! Watch that!”

~ The Madness on comparing recent changes to a vandal tool

Exactly. Just place this:

importScript('User:Special Cases/recent2.js');

Into your skin's .js file (would I be a good marketing specialist?)! -- Special Cases ^talk /_sign 12:42, November 14, 2010 (UTC)

В нас проблема!

Hello, respected administrator! I am an administrator from Ukrainian Uncyclopedia - Inciklopedia A large problem happened for us - at an entrance on a site inscription appears "Site is not found". There is our site disappeared. We would be you very thankful, if you know anything about this problem and if you can help us to renewal our project.

• As I know, we don't on WIKIA. We are on UnMeta server.--Vox/68.113.110.119 03:01, November 13, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Vox, afraid I can't help you with that - since this is an Uncyclomedia host- did you try talking with Carlb? ~ 09:09, November 13, 2010 (UTC)

• I necessarily will write him. Thank you. I always knew that Englishmen is very attentive to other people. Once again thank you. (And excuse me for my uncorect english.)--Vox/68.113.110.119 14:52, November 13, 2010 (UTC)

No problem. I'm actually Israeli. ~ 19:26, November 13, 2010 (UTC)

I thought you were Swedish! O_O -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 19:42, 13 Nov

Swedish? What?-- Special Cases ^talk /_sign 08:12, November 14, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, Mordillo is Swiss, which is why he keeps time very well. And Israeli, which is why he can kill you with his bare hands. Aleister 12:45 14 11

Bare hands? He talked about killing me with a tea spoon if I told ya of his bagel smuggling busin... YEEEPS! *throws hands over mouth* -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 13:00, 14 Nov

In my newspaper...

http://www.thejc.com/campus/campus-news/41070/idan-his-way-uk

Did he tell you about this? It seems rather late for him to be out, let alone travelling to a foreign country. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:58, November 14, 2010 (UTC)

He's not telling me anything, I only hear about it when I look for the car keys realizing the car is away. ~ 17:15, November 14, 2010 (UTC)

Well, if he finds himself at a loose end while he's here, I know a pub where they're not too careful about checking ID and will happily liquidise a salt beef bagel for him. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:22, November 14, 2010 (UTC)

Bit disappointed he's not playing anywhere near here and only in universities (where, at five quid a go, the tickets will sell out quickly) though, wouldn't have minded seeing him. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:28, November 14, 2010 (UTC)

Defacebook

I was under the impression that it was a listing of some notable members, and from reading the talkpage, it didn't want noobs... if I was wrong about that, fair enough, but I must ask... what, even, is it, actually? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101115 - 22:01 (UTC)

It's the "portraits" of "Uncyclopedia" "members". No limitations on who can place pictures there as far as I can remember. --~ 22:05, November 15, 2010 (UTC)

Mmm, so they were just trying to come up with excuses to exclude a fellow, or something? Oh. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101115 - 22:09 (UTC)

I'll have to read the talkpage again but when it was created it was free for all and nothing was changed as far as I know. We don't really have a notable members page, under than the hall of shame. ~ 22:13, November 15, 2010 (UTC)

Ok. -- 23:28, November 16, 2010 (UTC)

Lul

When can I re-nominate that for deletion? -- 22:44, November 15, 2010 (UTC)

Give it a week or so. ~ 19:13, November 16, 2010 (UTC)

Ok. -- 23:29, November 16, 2010 (UTC)

{{AoED}}

There is an ip ,User:74.161.129.30 who wants to add Wiseau to that template for some unknown reason. --Mn-z 01:38, November 17, 2010 (UTC)

I got a feeling this is our old friend MaxRebo. What do you think? ~ 19:18, November 17, 2010 (UTC)

There is a slight chance two people are interested in the same articles. Emphasis on the word slight. Btw, wouldn't his ban have also blocked his ips? --Mn-z 02:10, November 18, 2010 (UTC)

VFD rules, bis

Well, y'all have sat on my work on the VFD rules (Section 63, above) until it was overtaken by events, and now we have a numbered list inside a numbered list inside a numbered list, which still isn't organized by intended audience. Would you please review, or delegate, or reject outright, my work? Separately, it is annoying that autonomous tinkering is done by a user who, the last time I did so, insisted that it needed wider review and then ridiculed me for wasting people's time when I did exactly that. Spıke ¬ 17:40 17-Nov-10

Why are you wasting Mordillo's time? (points finger and ridicules) Aleister 18:03 17 11

Sorry, forgot to get back to you. I don't see an issue with the current version. Also, there weren't any "events". Only changes made were a couple of new additions that were necessary. I felt that your version didn't simplify or enhanced the current version - it was more or less the same, without the colors. If you have specific typographical fixes with the current version - let me know and I'll manage it. As for the issue with Sycamore, I suggest you talk it over with him - his changes were reverted (but for the correct fixing of the poopsmith link) and as long as the internal fighting and bickering in Uncyclopedia doesn't get in the way of the site I'd rather people sort it out amongst themselves. ~ 19:15, November 17, 2010 (UTC)

Read All About It!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Proudly supporting editorial independence whenever the board say it's okay

Nov 18th, 2010 • Issue 95 • The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way she/he did!

Wanna cyb3r? By Chief Hailed by some as the final solution to the Uncyclopedia problem and others as a wretched hive of scum and villainy, the Uncyclopedia IRC channel has chugged along for almost the same amount of time Uncyclopedia itself has. We here at the UnSignpost have literally hundreds of stories to sort through every week and we have picked IRC for a reason, and not just because it is easy to spell. We chose it because the Uncyclopedia IRC is a community and often contains users who are never on the site (because they are lazy and idle), equally many users who frequent the site do not enter IRC (because they are idle and lazy), and those who do often prefer to do so in disguise. This is a disgrace, don't ask why, it just is. Our intrepid reporters have spent literally minutes on IRC this week in order to bring news of it to you, the uneducated and unwashed masses and to try and encourage you to make use of it. Whatever you want to use it for: reporting vandals, penis jokes, collaboration, penis jokes and incoherent babbling; IRC is there for you. It is also a way to get to know the dull uninteresting personalities behind the exciting usernames, but don't let that put you off. When our intrepid reporter delved into the IRC community and asked the first person breathing in and out for a quote about IRC they told us "..." which should certainly give you food for thought. If you have some time on your hands then why not learn how to windsurf? But if you are too idle and lazy then why not head on over to IRC and see the magic happening for yourself? I would and if I would it must be a good idea. Balls up! By Chief The stage is seated, the judges are set and the competitors are questionable in number, yes The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball is almost upon us. The competition opens this Friday and entries will be accepted until December the 3rd which is... a little while after that. Our hard-hitting journalists will be present at the competition and will be speaking to entrants and judges alike over the next few weeks. Just think; if you take part your name could be in italic font in the UnSignpost! Think about how envious your friends and family will be! Remember, it begins on the 19th of November and we want to see blood! We need you! Shameless pleading by: ChiefjusticeDS The UnSignpost is like an office printer, in that it constantly breaks down, sometimes doesn't work for months at a time and occasionally spews out some slightly smudged pages. If you think you have something to bring to the UnSignpost be it your journalistic talent, ideas for stories or even just a warm and reassuring slap in the face, feel free to drop us a line in the press room. Also Meganew wanted us to mention the Grue Army in the UnSignpost, so we have.

Check out these pages! We're the worst in another way! Why?:Not Vote now! It's not as bad as you think! From our logs: 05:54, November 14, 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked POPEYE FUCK U UP (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (1) You suck. 2) Stop sucking.) 06:10, November 17, 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Frozen Korpse (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Yes, Mordillo is the worst. That's no reason to be rude.) 17:01, November 12, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.109.64.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (I'll have some gay porn if you're going to the shop) 3:32, November 14, 2010 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.0.147.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (I'M HAVING A FRIENDSHIP ANEURYSM) Biopic of the Week Know who it is yet? Know what time they were last here? No? Then you should probably be able to guess that this week we are looking at Aleister in Chains. Al has been hanging around Uncyclopedia for just under a year now, and in that time has picked up 25 feature credits and has earned the eternal hatred of many for his enduring good humour and incredibly annoying signature timestamps. If Aleister hasn't been responsible for a single one of your chuckles over the last year then you need to start reading some of his articles, that or cancel your afternoon appointments as you have died and failed to notice. I wouldn't recommend you post on his talk page or look at his user page as they are both just plain weird, offer respect, but don't doff your helm, you never know what might end up in it. Overlooked Page of the Week Things to do. Easing the pain in your pants since 2007. Newsroom UnTune of the week The Uncyclopedian's song

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 14:35, November 18, 2010 (UTC)

Regarding Mhalie.

He's unblocked himself again. Just letting you know. Kiko4564 17:57, November 18, 2010 (UTC)

What? How could he ever do such a thing?! ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101118 - 21:24 (UTC)

*rolls eyes* more mod fights...--Poiz, teh Zork mastar! 21:36, November 18, 2010 (UTC)

You guys do that when admins ban other admins, it not serious, right? Its sort of an inside joke, since they can unban themselves. --Mn-z 21:57, November 18, 2010 (UTC)

What?! They can?! The travesty! ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101118 - 22:16 (UTC)

...--Poiz, teh Zork mastar! 23:29, November 18, 2010 (UTC)

Guys, could you please not comment here as this is an admins talk page, not mine. Please note I am Kiko editing in his IP. 79.70.126.92 20:15, November 19, 2010 (UTC)

/me stomps about, making self cosy on a blueish grey worn-out sofa with a flask of good single malt stolen from said admin's secret stash... Inconspicuous Comment Template Attack!. I really don't think I can help myself. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 20:32, 19 Nov

*goes through Mordillo's fridge* What?! No mustard? What is this travesty?! ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101119 - 20:40 (UTC)

/me hands Lyr a can of Dijon that was sitting in the pantry. We don't do that baby poo looking stuff in Yurop, ya know? The colour should be natural, not Chemical Yellow #5... -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 21:17, 19 Nov

That yellow stuff is mustard? Seriously? o__O ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101119 - 22:45 (UTC)

European Mustard is not dyed with chemical additives. Although they sometimes use things like turmeric or whatever that yellow stuff they call "gurkmeja" in Swedish is in English... So THERE! -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 15:16, 24 Nov

Out of Curiosity

Can you really get from the parking lot to flight gate in under 25 minutes at one of the most terrorism prone nations? o_O -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 00:29, 20 Nov

Yes, because there are no silly checks such as "do you have any fluids over 10.3 milileter", no shoes or belts taking off and no laptop opening. High tech equipment, people who know how to read body language and profiling makes it easier. Last time took me even less than 25 minutes. ~ 00:33, November 20, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, and that is so totally unfair. They "profile" in North America, but they need white females to offset the middle-eastern looking male ratio in order to make statistics seem like they're not profiling based on looks, so they do a bit of "extra questions" almost every time I cross the US/Canada border. Also, they have started pulling "hot chicks" for the full body scanners... I don't mind them otherwise, but they change the DNA strand structure, meaning they can trigger cancerous cell mutations. Don't want to expose any baby Luvvies to that kind of crap... :(

I think it'll be interesting to see how this develops. The US public has been encouraged by some organisation to have a national "opt out" day next Wednesday. That's the most heavy travel date due to the next day being Thanksgiving there. So if even a fraction of travellers says "no, I'm not getting scanned", everyone is a few officers doing an "enhanced frisking" away from getting everyone else to their flights on time.

I thought of travelling wearing nothing but nominal, very figure hugging clothing next time I fly, just to make sure that they don't have to fondle me in public view at airports if I look too terroristey, carrying my wedding gown with me and such... Luvvies are lookey-no-touchey-girls. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 00:46, 20 Nov

Lookey-no-touchey you say? I think someone here really needs a hug. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:50, 20 November 2010

I'll do it... I love hugging people. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101120 - 00:53 (UTC)

Huh? -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 01:04, 20 Nov

Exactly. *hugs Luvvy* ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101120 - 04:30 (UTC)

HEY! Only Mr Luvvy gets to touch me! And the cat that snuggles up to Mommy at night... and the doggies who hog my blankey... but not you, definitely not internet people! -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 20:49, 20 Nov

Quote please

As I say I would like a quote by you, from you to put in the UnSignpost. As the person with something to say about anything, everything and nothing what do you think of the present voting trend, that UotM, WotM are drawing lots of votes every month and awards like NotM, RotM and others are failing to draw that many votes at all? What do you think can be done? Black or White? Does time heal all wounds? What happens on your perfect Sunday? --ChiefjusticeGameCube 20:28, November 20, 2010 (UTC)

Well good sir, as I'm heading off to Glasgow tomorrow, might I respond to it tomorrow night post whiskey? ~ 20:10, November 21, 2010 (UTC)

Capital suggestion, have one for me and all. --ChiefjusticeGameCube 20:16, November 21, 2010 (UTC)

Take a swig for me, too! 15+ year old Laphroaig, if possible... ^_^ -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 09:36, 22 Nov

Laphroaig?! What are you a drunken sailor?! ~ 17:15, November 22, 2010 (UTC)

Nah. The descendant of a Scottish Lord and a Viking-born Bootlegger! ^_^ -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 18:08, 22 Nov

Fair enough! Also, Chief, as for your question: "the ongoing voting trend that is directed at obvious targets such as WotM and UotM are a cardinal warning sign that Uncyclopedia is not only the worst, it keeps detriorating. How else would you define a community that is centered on awarding its writers and goody two shoes? What about young new fresh people that are hopefully instatiable redheads with abnormal fondness of thressoms with Jews and MORE blondes? What about the people who take the substandard manure that the above said writers produce and fit them into shape?! Are we all doomed to be old shapeless writers? Will Uncyclopedia become like Europe - aging, overweight and smug? Where are all the young willing blondes amongst the population?! So in a word Uncyclopedia - UNITE! GO OUT TO THE STREETS AND DEMAND MORE BLONDES FOR ALL! MORE WELL SHAPED BLONDES FOR ALL! MORE THREESOMS WITH JEWS! and vote for NotM and RotM right? It's for your own good. Trust us, we are the cabal, we know best" ~ 19:23, November 23, 2010 (UTC)

/me comes by and drops a well-intended *hug* on the page and wanders off. Also, I'm blonde, but I don't do threesomes. But you guys can share my insatiable urge for hug-dispensing, so that's almost the same thing, right? I think you might have had about two too many... -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 15:34, 24 Nov

The Greatest Thing That Has Ever Existed, Ever

You might want to sit down - the sheer awesomeness of this may prove more than you can handle: http://www.jerusalemthegolden.com/product/Spiderman_Mezuzah_Case/ Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:37, November 22, 2010 (UTC)

Heh, I think I saw one with Obama's face on it in the Jewish museum in Berlin. But this one IS awesome. Now I only need to get my wife to approve! ~ 17:17, November 22, 2010 (UTC)

Once again, having a shiksa is advantageous - if I wanted one (and I soooo do) I can just tell her that superhero mezuzot have been around for thousands of years, are a Jewish tradition and extremely kosher and she'll let me have one. Obviously I'm to be hated for marrying out, but if it means I can have a Spidey mezuzah it's worth it. Anyway, wasn't Stan Lee Jewish? That's good enough for me. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:29, November 22, 2010 (UTC)

Curse you!

I mean, you're entirely right about that, but still... curse you! *shakes fist* ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101124 - 16:37 (UTC)

Er...what? ~ 18:41, November 24, 2010 (UTC)

Ah, the NotM sage. There can be only one! ~ 18:48, November 24, 2010 (UTC)

Hey, just because there can only be one rcmurphy doesn't mean Happytimes and I can't nominate ourselves as well every month... *shifty eyes* Well, okay, maybe... um... nevermind. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101124 - 19:38 (UTC)

Run for your lives! It's another UnSignpost.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The periodical without any junk in its trunk!

Nov 25th, 2010 • Issue 96 • Putting the period in periodical!

Jimbo, Whales & The Worst 100 By Him again Those of you who regularly sit and stare at recent changes may well have seen a lot of tomfoolery with the site notice this week (that banner at the top which you dismissed two seconds after logging in). The reason for this is that somebody noticed that we are supposed to be a parody of Wikipedia and suggested we come up with something to parody Jimbo Wales' appeal. Zombiebaron duly obliged, then Lyrithya obliged too, then Olipro edited some code and the site notice you see today, or don't see, as the case may be, was created. Well done, them. Honestly, we have nothing bad to say about it. Except that I hate it as I do most things that come about through a process of honest endeavour. For those of you who didn't know, Jimbo does have an account on Uncyclopedia, an account he never uses, in rather the same way that I have a membership to a gym; I need one to be cool and so I have somewhere to hide when the black helicopters inevitably come for me. Jimbo is of course the co-founder of Wikia, which is rather like having helped build the Death Star except with less space and more super-lasers capable of destroying planets. Unfortunately, we haven't written a parody of the appeal yet. Well, we have, it just isn't very good. The team at the UnSignpost read both and after the laughter had died down we had a look at the Uncyclopedia one.... yeah.... but have our assurance, Uncyclopedia is working on improving it, and how could you doubt the people who brought you classics like Fisher Price and AAAAAAAAA!? The other item of news we have this week is that the reflections on this year are woefully lacking. Hurtling as we are towards the new year and the annual Cabal broadcast, you may want to consider adding an entry to the list in order that the administrators can sleep soundly at night. We refuse to believe that nothing of note has happened over the last couple of months because we've been here and can attest that something has happened every day. So get over there and do the editing, we'll be right behind you. Voting heats up By Chief The "of the Month" awards are in something of a state of flux at the moment as voters and nominators become increasingly unwilling to vote (or care) in some cases and more willing in others. "It's a sad indictment of the way we live," lamented Socky when our reporter spoke to him, though he did say some other things once we asked him some questions. This month on the Uncyclopedian of the Month award, Lyrithya has stormed ahead of competition, running up 16 votes at the time of going to press; we would say she was miles ahead of her opposition, but since she nominated both of them and voted for one of them we don't think she deserves it. When asked to comment, Lyrithya had this to say: "I hate you all". Meanwhile over on Writer of the Month, Romartus leads SPIKE by 7 votes. Neither of them were available to provide us with a quote, probably because we forgot to ask, but we took some of the things they said on the award page and through creative journalism summed up their thoughts: "This... is... my... award" is what Romartus said, though he may have said those words in a different order... and as part of different sentences. SPIKE just said "Yay," which was lovely. Things are far more exciting over on Noob of the Month where mega-noob rcmurphy and regular noob Putthatknifedown are neck and neck with 5 votes each. Things are of course far less exciting in the land of the other awards: Author of the Month is a gripping contest as gentile Uncyclopedian and former UnSignpost editor Under user trudges towards the finish line arm in arm with gentile Uncyclopedian and former UnSignpost editor Mhaille (he wrote a couple of lines for us once and they were amazing). Potatochopper of the month is also a rather subdued affair with nobody getting any votes, despite two people being nominated. Finally Reviewer of the Month has no nominations and thus, surprisingly, no votes so far this month. Why is this? We at the UnSignpost asked Uncyclopedia's dictator in-chief Mordillo what he thought; he agreed to consider the question after a stiff drink. We can only assume it was a strong one as we didn't hear back from him for 3 days. When he came back, he declared, "Uncyclopedia - UNITE! GO OUT TO THE STREETS AND DEMAND MORE BLONDES FOR ALL! MORE WELL SHAPED BLONDES FOR ALL! MORE THREESOMES WITH JEWS! and vote for NotM and RotM right? Trust us, we are the cabal, we know best". As Mordillo was being sedated, Socky bravely stepped in to fill his trousers and surprised everyone by saying "My thoughts on awards are that we should have a lot more of them and we should be a lot less serious about them. We could be having fun instead of worrying about drama. Voting will only lead to good results when not subjugated to logic." Socky went on to lay down his plans for ruling Uncyclopedia and restoring Germany to a dominant position in Europe; he left our interview early to annex Czechoslovakia, so thankfully we cannot bring you anything else from him this week. There is a point here, does Uncyclopedia need more awards? Or does it just need more contributors? All we know for sure is that you need to start voting NOW! Or tomorrow if you're a bit busy at the moment. Chief learns Latin; talks about lorums By Socky See {{lorum}} for a full transcript of his Latin writings.

Check out these pages! Mail Order Lobster When's your birthday? A surveillance camera!? From our logs: 13:58, November 21, 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.112.195.238 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Enough time for you to go and have a bit pot of warm penises, just like you love them) 15:52, November 19, 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.126.123.197 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You suck at vandalism. You should probably try your hand at cooking or painting or something instead.) 14:40, November 18, 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.120.230.138 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (I dunno - you expose a paedo, then it's you who gets in toruble. Fuckin' liberals, eh?) Biopic of the Week Prowling the corridors of UnNews and VFD, SPIKE has earned the respect of his peers through a combination of three things: Hard work, immaculate record keeping and... hard work. SPIKE is often to be found speaking into a microphone for UnNews, saving condemned articles on VFD and generally trying to make the site a better place. While he may not have as many features as some people, he makes up for it through a huge amount of work; his userpage is a comprehensive list of achievements, good deeds and a lot of other information that you probably don't need but he is prepared to give at no extra charge. I need all of it, of course, as I am building a database which I plan to flog to a corporation at some stage. If you contributed anything to UnNews or nominated an article for VFD this year then this man likely got involved at some stage. Respect him and get back to work. Old-school featured article of the week Are you tired of being a small cog in the giant machine of what is, for all intents and purposes, an infinite and uncaring universe? Of course, we all are! "But how do I, a mere newborn babe/small child/university student/accountant/elderly person just steps away from death's door, whose gaping maw is opened wide in anticipation of my ethereal etherealness, the insignificant mote of dust that is me, passing through its opening en route to what will surely be a depressing and disappointing eternity, attain oneness with the universe today?" you ask. How? Here's how. Newsroom UnTune of the week Stalker An UnSignpost apology As you know, we at the UnSignpost make few mistakes, but it has been brought to our attention that we misquoted Mordillo and made him look like a bit of a weirdo in the story to the left; this is highly regrettable and we enclose his full quote here by way of apology. "the ongoing voting trend that is directed at obvious targets such as WotM and UotM are a cardinal warning sign that Uncyclopedia is not only the worst, it keeps deteriorating. How else would you define a community that is centered on awarding its writers and goody two shoes? What about young new fresh people that are hopefully insatiable redheads with abnormal fondness of threesomes with Jews and MORE blondes? What about the people who take the substandard manure that the above said writers produce and fit them into shape?! Are we all doomed to be old shapeless writers? Will Uncyclopedia become like Europe - ageing, overweight and smug? Where are all the young willing blondes amongst the population?!" Editors note: Mordillo then went on to say the bit our journalist was awake for in the interview. The UnSignpost bitterly regrets having him sedated against his will due to this misunderstanding. We will be sending a fruit basket round to him as soon as his screams of anguish as the doctor inserted the needle stop being quite so funny.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101125 - 01:04 (UTC)

Hello Mordillo

You deleted Robert Bresson for some reason, the question is do you know Robert Bresson? because if you don't I don't see how you expect to get the joke. ~ Kakun · talk 09:21, November 27, 2010 (UTC)

I restored it, however you can expect anyone who doesn't know the guy to think it's a random article. I placed a wikipedia tag on it to make some sense of it. ~ 09:26, November 27, 2010 (UTC)

Robert Who? /me walks away confused, cursing lack of huff-o-matic 2.0 -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 09:36, 27 Nov

Thanks Mordillo. This is a pretty unfamiliar director, but some people (including me) think he's the best director ever lived, except Trey Parker of course. I added an explanation to the talk page. Happy Hanukkah. ~ Kakun · talk 09:42, November 27, 2010 (UTC)

You know, you could make it familiar through the article, and stuff... might help. 'Cause I'm with Luvvy as it is... a wikipediapar doesn't really save it. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101127 - 17:05 (UTC)

I am familiar with Bresson (and agree he was a pretty shit hot director, too) - the article looks good to me, a decent parody and yet more proof of how under-rated Kakun is round here. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:04, November 29, 2010 (UTC)

Latke time again!

Ways in which the world could have been much better

a Chanukah sermon from Rabbi Techno

Having successfully rebelled against the Seleucid Empire, the Maccabees decided to go on an almighty piss-up to celebrate.
When they checked the fridge, they were dismayed to discover that they only had enough beer to last for one single day.
However, a great miracle happened there. G-d made the beer last for eight days,
enough time for the Maccabees to go to the off-licence and buy more.
from Rabbi Techno
Now let's go down the pub to celebrate.

---

Chanukah sameach :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:56, November 29, 2010 (UTC)

Chag Sameach! Are the latkes already on the pan? ~ 21:32, November 29, 2010 (UTC)

I don't actually like latkes much, but will be making them this year as we're going to have some friends round one night and since they'll bring wine the least I can do is feed them. Sufganiyot are a different matter entirely, of course, and I'll probably make rugelach even if it's the wrong festival, just because it's so damn good. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:28, November 30, 2010 (UTC)

Mhaile again.

Mhaile unbanned himself again, so I would indefblock him and deadmin him, so he can be "promoted to the rank of queen's reader" once and for all. Please note this is kiko4564 in his dynamic IP. 88.109.29.164 15:16, November 29, 2010 (UTC)

You're kidding, right? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101129 - 15:53 (UTC)

Act siiigh...

I was like him a long time ago, but now i learned to stop worrying and love the mod fights.--Poiz,Teh zork master!!! 17:59, November 29, 2010 (UTC)

I still have no idea what on earth Mhaille's done to earn a ban in the first place. Except maybe if I'd actually be paying him to draw those space ships for me he once worked on for fun... which I'm not, so there's no need to ban him so he'd work... *rolls eyes* -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 20:26, 29 Nov

Kiko, while this whole discussion is amusing let's get something straight. You can't block admins. Period. Any admin can unblock himself. More than that, Mhaille is a `crat, meaning I can't deadmin him even if I wanted to. Otherwise, I don't understand what's your problem exactly, Mhaille is one of the longest serving admin on Uncyclopedia and probably one of the more level headed and nice persons around here. If you have any issue with him, I suggest you go over to his talk page and talk with him. ~ 21:10, November 29, 2010 (UTC)

He's also cool and sexy, of course. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:12, November 30, 2010 (UTC)

Sanity is not a requirement for membership here? -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 21:17, 29 Nov

Yo grandad

I have the symptoms. Please hit me with a two-year ban to make sure I'll not come back during a weak moment. Seriously. Both IP:s too so I'll not resort to sockpuppetry. But leave the chat rights if those can be done separately - the IRC is a fun place at times. -- Style  Guide 06:25, November 30, 2010 (UTC)

I see that Mhaille obliged already. Shame. Send me an email when you want out. --~ 21:25, November 30, 2010 (UTC)

Perma-ban me, you cockmunching niggerjew!

Hi, Gomphog here, please perma-ban me, if you don't I will hack, vandalise and open multiple proxies. Thank you for your time. --78.150.71.12 18:24, November 30, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, on the contrary. You should do that. We need more vandalism in our lives. --Sockhog 18:29, November 30, 2010 (UTC)

No, because he is bp'd for talkblank.--Poiz,Teh zork master!!! 19:41, November 30, 2010 (UTC)

Cockmunching niggerjew? I'll add that to my hall of fame. --~ 21:24, November 30, 2010 (UTC)

No need to permaban me

But I could use a vacation, too... Maybe six months and an explanation to me when and how I started feeling this old and tired around people on this site? -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 21:36, 30 Nov

Perhaps 60 days worth of a "holiday ban"? Might cheer me up to do something else than get warned about things I forgot about six weeks ago causing me to get a 48 hour ban if not in compliance with fairly arbitrary rules... ah well... Nevermind. I'll just refrain from logging in, since I think there's an epidemic that seems contagious. Maybe I am just old and cranky and the changes I would like to see are none of my damned business? -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 22:04, 30 Nov

Noooo! Don't leave me alone here like this, alone in this sea of... of men! And boys. Actually, I'm more worried about the boys. But noooo! ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101130 - 23:35 (UTC)

Don't you love the smell of the UnSignpost in the morning?

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Just like Grandma used to make!

Dec 2nd, 2010 • Issue 97 • STOP! UnSignpost time!

UFFL Week 12 Update By CheddarBBQ Now that it is so far into the season that everyone not involved with the Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League, as well as many that are involved, could not possibly care, what better time for an update? After eleven gruelling weeks, it seems that on top is the one and only Doritians, Take II, with an impressive W-L-T of 9-2-0 and a current six-game win-streak. They are also the only team to currently have a clinched playoff spot. For those not aware, the Doritians, Take II are the follow-up to Cheddar's Doritians last year: an Eagles-based team that performed, to put it frankly, shittily. When asked to comment about his surprising victory, Mr. Cheddar claimed, "GET RAPED SON." Elsewhere in the league, there is currently a tight race for 2nd between the Oklahoma Boomers (who are currently in first point-wise and have the season record for highest score in a game with 168.14 points), The DC RacialSlurs, The Dudes, and Lepus Muerte. The real secondary story revolves around league commissioner and possible Nazi-supporter Rosenkrantzenpants. While last year, the German team took the overall victory with quite ease, this year's team is not so magnificent. After many losing streaks and strokes and bad luck, Rosenkrantzenpants has barely been able to pull itself past an even Win-Lose ratio. However, despite a poor record, he maintains 4th place point-wise. The Well-Dressed Pickles again still have yet to win, most likely due to having six of the worst players in the league (two of which are out for the the season) and a refusal to edit the line-up. The Bearasorta Vikings aren't doing much better. Also, you should watch The League on FX. It's a damn funny show. Aristocrat's Update By ChiefjusticeDS The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball rumbles on, and as the closing date looms like a fat man over a large cake, the question on everyone's lips is "What's the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball?". In case you have recently returned from an Uncyclopedia hiatus or have been hiking through the Amazon Delta wearing nothing but a pair of slippers, I will explain once again: the ATDB is a festival of frivolity and bad taste, highlighting all those fine, fine contributions we never want to see featured. The UnSignpost sat down with competition judge Lyrithya to find out what, if anything, there was to know. "I would like people to stop asking me for help," Lyrithya moaned before our journalist could open his mouth, "Two people have so far already" The UnSignpost infers from this that the competition is truly a desperate one this year; some entrants have clearly been pushed to the limits of their sanity and have begun searching Uncyclopedia's back alleys for writing tips. To round off our interview we asked Lyrithya who she thought would win. "That guy," she said emphatically, indicating a nearby vending machine, "His article is excellent." Whose article she really means shall remain a mystery until the results become known on December 10th. The competition closes for judging this Friday at 00:00 GMT, so if you want to enter, you need to do so soon. The UnSignpost will be there to bring you the results when the judging has happened unless something more exciting happens. Unlikely, but we live in hope. The Grue Army By Meganew For almost a year, most of our classic usergroups remained in pieces. Groups like the Uncyclopedian Forces, the UnAnarchist Party, the UnFire Department, and yes, even the Grue Apocalypse. The economy also dramatically collapsed, with commerce reaching an all-time low. However, one group stands out among all: the Grue Army. After their leader High Gen. Grue went AWOL, the once-proud Grue Army was left belly-up with only 4 of the original members still in. The decision to revive the group was made and Meganew has been seen wearing Patton-esque General's clothing ever since. Some newer users had joined up with the group already, but it wasn't enough to equal a full-scale revival. Therefore, the leaders decided on an unusual plan of action: pick who they thought would be the 10 best candidates for the group. After some of the candidates decided not to join, the plan was expanded to all of the twenty users originally selected. Some have responded and have become active Grue Army members, deep in-the-cave reserve members, and allies. Some people have questioned the need for another group of people who don't do much, but are happy to tell others what to do, as we already have site admins for just such a job. This has been a shameless advertising promotion from the Grue Army, Join Today!!!

Check out these pages! Fap fap fap!! Celebrate Mediocrity!!!!!!!!! Ever get that "not so fresh" feeling? From our logs: 05:45, 25 Novemver, 2010 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked ISLAM WILL DESTROY YOU IMPERIALIST SWINE LIKE DUNG (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (ZOMBIEBARON WILL DESTROY YOU ISLAMIST FANATICS LIKE DUNG) 06:27, 24 November, 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked I will blank a userpage (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (cute) 07:42, November 28, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 99.35.10.15 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Such spirited hi-jinks and individuality.... I MUST DESTROY) 17:33, November 30, 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 208.77.131.29 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Here's yet another reason for you to hate Jews) 21:01, November 30, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Avianion (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (cyberbullying. also, coming from Halifax, which should have some kind of law against it.) Biopic of the Week It seems only proper that this week as we pass the 5th anniversary of its featuring, the UnSignpost should take a look at perhaps the biggest in-joke Uncyclopedia has ever seen: Euroipods. For those who don't know, Euroipods was intended to parody the marketing campaign for www.euroipods.com, which ran from mid to late 2005. However, despite the effort, detail and effort that went into creating the article, some users couldn't understand what all the laughter was about. Stories of the clashes on the talk page of Euroipods are still told whenever veteran Uncyclopedians gather round a modem to compete in tales of blood-chilling terror. The article spawned several spin-off articles, since creativity is next to regular bathing on the list of things Uncyclopedians will avoid if at all possible. All hail Euroipods, may it stand forever as proof of our commitment to being the worst. Old-school featured article of the week Mozilla Firefox is a famous magical girl of the 21st century, seen by many Europeans (even though she's technically a United Statesian) as the Western answer to Japan's infamous "Project Sailor Moon". She is a direct descendant of the legendary Maozilla and a daughter of now-deceased Mozilla Suite. Mozilla is therefore a last name, but is written first to make fun of the Japanese. Firefox's goal is to reclaim a vital artifact lost for humanity a hundred generations ago in Browser Wars: the Interweb, a huge web embedded in the surface and atmosphere of the planet Earth. Her arch enemy is the Interweb Exploder, a giant monster that repeatedly tries to blow up the Interweb, without much success, and zombifies people that connect their computers to it. Both Firefox and the Exploder are web browsers: their duty is to patrol controlled areas of the Interweb and fight minor saboteurs and wreckers. Newsroom UnTune of the week Playing with myself

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

-- 03:35, December 2, 2010 (UTC)

Ballaghaderreen

I concur with your WIP tag on this article. Have been in after the author to tighten the language and use apostrophes. Today he added a section on Culture which is trite. Seems the locals like heavy drinking, souping up their cars, and driving badly. I've written a postscript to the author on his talk page, though he's never replied to me. We'll see. Spıke ¬ 00:40 5-Dec-10

mordillo

If you were any slower at writing articles, you wouldn't need an egg timer, you'd need an egg calender. --Roman dicksucking bird(because he loves the dick!) 05:51, December 5, 2010 (UTC)

lol --Roman Dog Bird 05:53, December 5, 2010 (UTC)

How could you?!

I used to be okay with Jewish people, until I read this. You monsters! -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 13:05, Dec. 5, 2010

Concerning...

the conversation we were having, I just felt that those two could possibly be rehabilitated. Remember, NXWave came back as Qua and was apparently behaving, but the community decided to not bring him back. BTW, I wasn't blocked for going against the admins, as Zombiebaron explained to me that he thought I was attempting to start an admin war, and that's why I got banned. As for old users coming back... Well I doubt that would work, as the only ones I can think of are now at Illogicopedia. --High Gen. Meganew (Stuff I've Done) (Chat With Me) (Get an Award!) FORCES ENLIST MUN 21:00, December 6, 2010 (UTC)

I don't need to be reminded of the whole NXWave saga. I was dealing with him @ 2007. You were not here and you don't have all of the details. NXWave was a deranged individual that cause a lot of harm to the site while trying to be seen as a good contributing user. He is not coming back. I don't doubt that you have good intentions, but I suggest you direct them elsewhere. Look up that forum (or I can help you if you can't find it) that was created by Dr. Skullthumper a while back. Bringing back old contributors is doable, was done in the past and is, in my opinion, a much better cause to pursue. ~ 23:14, December 6, 2010 (UTC)

I can't seem to quickly find it. Perhaps you could give me the link on my talk page? --High Gen. Meganew (Stuff I've Done) (Chat With Me) (Get an Award!) FORCES ENLIST MUN 23:28, December 7, 2010 (UTC)

I seek counsel...

As you seem to currently be the resident signature regulator person thing, I have to ask. Would a variation of this adapted for use on Uncyclopedia be bad? I don't think I'd do that here, but in case I do get the mad urge, I'd like your input first. ~ 22:29, December 6, 2010 (UTC)

I need to add that to my list of titles straight after "grand archduke of the marshes" and before "Jewlord". It's very annoying and if you keep it under <sigexpand> type of tags it's compliant. Very annoying though :) ~ 23:17, December 6, 2010 (UTC)

Quite the titles, those... have you a full list somewhere, that I might point and lau... er, I mean, be suitably impressed?

Anyhow, thats a mite disconcerting... it would actually be acceptable here? Then again, some people do have pretty long ones. Although if I left it all extended, I would probably have to strangle myself, anyway; it started out like that on Illogicopedia, but then it got too annoying...

Anyhoo, thanks. ~ 00:46, 7 December, 2010

But read UN:SIG (end of Section 1)--When fully erect, "I don't fancy yours much." Spıke ¬ 01:32 7-Dec-10

Sure, but who heeds that? ~ 01:44, 7 December, 2010

Pfffft... - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at 03:18, Tuesday 07 December 2010 -

Exactly. 1234 ~ Major Pleb Dame Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 • GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 09:07, 7 December, 2010 (UTC)

Pcchhht Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S

Okay, so besides Mordillo, who heeds it? Or did people actually pay more attention to such things back then? 1234 ~ Major Pleb Sir Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 • GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 18:06, December 7, 2010 (UTC)

N00bs have occasionally been brought to heel. Spıke ¬ 18:41 7-Dec-10

Are you calling me a noob? 1234 ~ 18:48, 7 December, 2010

No indeed, as Mordillo seems disposed to let your signature slide. But--since I joined--UN:SIG has been cited to induce n00bs to curb their advertisement, and especially to narrow it to the type size. Spıke ¬ 18:50 7-Dec-10

Well, I only did that as a joke - hells, the entire thing is a joke; I wasn't kidding about having to strangle myself if I actually used it in practice. It's longer than TKF's, for crying out loud!

Also, I am a noob. For the record. I am. So it actually works, even after they've seen TKF's? 1234 ~ 19:35, 7 December, 2010

Sorry, I might have been misunderstood. As long as the sig is a collapsing sig - it's OK. Otherwise it needs to fall under the 55 characters rule. ~ 21:25, December 7, 2010 (UTC)

You were quite clear. UN:SIG (end of Section 1) (perhaps wisecracking) is what's in conflict. Spıke ¬ 21:34 7-Dec-10

And TKF's is, too... what would the noobs think?! 1234 ~ 21:42, 7 December, 2010

Got a mo again?

If you have.... I could do with a quick consult in IRC :) -- sannse (talk) 22:25, December 7, 2010 (UTC)

Heard the latest?

http://www.jpost.com/Headlines/Article.aspx?id=198269 Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:24, December 8, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews is on top of this--UnNews:Egypt: Israel behind deadly shark attacks (by Funnybony). Spıke ¬ 20:48 8-Dec-10

Funny thing is that this is actually a real piece of news. Maybe the current head of the Mossad (due to leave January) wants to go out in a blast? ~ 15:21, December 9, 2010 (UTC)

With all the dreck in the news, I decided it was about time people were allowed to know the truth. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:13, December 9, 2010 (UTC)

Brilliant! you have the 1-spot on the Front Page. Spıke ¬ 18:01 9-Dec-10

Why, thankyou! Hadn't done an UnNews in a fair while, the idea came to me when I saw the link to Funnybony's. Always love the way UnNews can usually be knocked out in 10 minutes and don't require much work. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:04, December 9, 2010 (UTC)

OK, I just have to do an audio for that. Rabbi, do you prefer English in bad Israeli accent or Hebrew? ~ 18:53, December 9, 2010 (UTC)

How about both? There could be one version for Israel and one for the rest of the world. Your voice should suit Commander Loml rather well. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:56, December 10, 2010 (UTC)

Both? What am I a recording machine?! I'll see if the youngster will allow me some time during the weekend. ~ 14:28, December 10, 2010 (UTC)

Can't he do one? What do you mean he can't talk yet? Been a bit lazy with his education, haven't you? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:43, December 10, 2010 (UTC)

The UnSignpost, now with 25% less saturated fat

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!

Dec 9th, 2010 • Issue 98 • Is that an UnSignpost in your pocket?

The UnSignpost Investigates: VFH By Chief If you have ever written an article on Uncyclopedia then the chances are you have run the gauntlet of Votes for Highlight at some point, which inevitably means you have experienced the helpful criticism, the less helpful criticism and the downright bizarre criticism. VFH is the most popular voting page on Uncyclopedia, and this week the UnSignpost is taking a closer look at the process that separates the wheat from the chaff, and the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian. VFH has come under fire this week from an outgoing editor and we thought it would be unfair to dismiss his claims without properly investigating them, so we didn't and it was a great fun; we played badminton and then we went bowling. However, when Sycamore complained about recent trends on VFH, we decided to have a look. There is a serious point to be made here, with admins being told at least twice a week that both they and Uncyclopedia suck penises - is VFH not somewhere that should be more carefully regulated to prevent articles that are less than amusing being nominated? Or should users who are presently engaged in nominating idiotic pages for VFH be told to cut it out, or else? Discussions have taken place about scrapping voting altogether and having the admins run things or, as one bright-spark suggested: just get rid of against voting. VFH is not a machine in dire need of repair, however, but for many it does seem to be a flawed system that is entirely to blame for A wizard did it being featured. As a result of the above, the UnSignpost urges you to do two things: Vote on VFH; it needs your votes to work, as the name might suggest, and try to remember that while cocking about is fun, work is immeasurably more useful. Also, because the lead story this week has been very sombre and serious, we have attached a picture of a dog wearing a hat. Enjoy. Mince Pies, an editorial By Douchebag McSpackypants The Cabal Hey guys!!! This week I thought I would talk about something which is guaranteed to interest EVERYONE! My favourite food in the world: Mince Pies!!! OMG they are teh brillz0rz! (Internet slang; I'm hip!) I mean they don't even have MINCE in them! What's UP WITH THAT!? Here's how I began to find them totally lolicious and awesome!!!! It all started at last year's Christmas pa- Signal interrupted New message incoming There is no need to adjust your UnSignpost. Halt all subversive activity. Exits are not located to the rear. Rollback is not disabled. Expect no Christmas bonus. The Cabal is not addressing you from this periodical. It is not the Festive Season. Santa does not exist. Nothing you do matters. Our patience is not tried by your petty drama and hi-jinks. Contributions are not logged and examined. Addresses are not tracked and houses are not watched. Bans will not be imposed if you reject our reality. Abide citizens. Location scrambled. Message ends Signal re-established, original transmission resuming ... and that's when I threw up all over the dancing Elephant! See you next week!

Check out these pages! Muppets go back to the future Reskinapedia? A forum from 3 years ago The Aristocrats judging! From our logs: 04:46, December 7, 2010 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked AngieCrosby (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Spam spam eggs spam spam spam sausage spam spam and spam) 15:42, December 5, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked SAMUDESU (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (na-na-na-nanana CUNTFACE!) 15:05, December 4, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Redundantunderuserwithhisslutwifeandretardedchild (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (oh, the long winter hours must just fly past at your house.) 03:29, December 7, 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.245.74.225 (Talk) with an expiry time of 5 hours (lol k c(-; (that's supposed to be a guy winking, smiling and sticking his tongue out FUCK YOU!!!!) Biopic of the Week Imagine, if you will, a drug fuelled after-party in a Special Needs home, then stop because it's time for biopic of the week! This week we have a splendid fellow, as we inevitably do; it's Count of Monkey Crisco! Heard of him? No? That's because he is busy working and not spending time coming up with new and inventive ways of wasting time in the Village Dump, like you. It may surprise you to learn that the Count (yes I must refer to him this way) is a former UotM, has four featured images and was the first man to scale Everest in a kayak... ok, we are exaggerating here; he only has two featured images. Nonetheless this man is the example of a good Uncyclopedian, hard working, quiet and modest. At least we assume he is modest; he hasn't ever done anything as awesome as I have, so we can't confirm it. So go on - investigate Uncyclopedia's very own man in black for yourself; he's er... Monkalicious. Old-school featured article of the week To Whom it May Concern On the 6th September 2006, I wrote this article, and I am yet to receive any feedback. I believe I expressed a number of real concerns which you have not yet addressed. In case my previous article was lost in the post, I will repeat my concerns here, and I trust that this article will reach you in good time. Source: Uncyclopedia complaints department, archive 4,978 Newsroom UnTune of the week Can't Be Blamed (For My Shitty Music)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 16:17, December 9, 2010 (UTC)

Ban of "Another n00b"

This might be excessive--I don't know what he was doing in the old Forums, but as he says on his talk page, he seems to have stumbled on a Wikimedia bug. His edit to a closed Forum was to prove the bug and not to give us his opinion on the three-year-old issue. Spıke ¬ 13:04 11-Dec-10

No he didn't stumble on a bug, he stumbled on an automated archived forum that was not protected, but rather archived (hence the no edit button rather than actual protection). That "NO EDIT" is there for a reason, would he next time try something worse for the sake of proving it can be done? Also, three hours? Excessive? He's lucky I got to him before ZB did, it would have been 3 days at the very least. ~ 13:07, December 11, 2010 (UTC)

Very well. Indeed I don't know what he would have done next. Perhaps it depends on whether it had a tab on it saying Don't do this. Spıke ¬ 13:16 11-Dec-10

Oh shit! It's another unsignpost!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH

Dec 16th, 2010 • Issue 99 • Now with 50% more Cheese News!!

Turkey Ball Anyone? By Chief As all great things must come to an end so must all fairly mediocre things, and this has certainly proved true for the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball, which concluded last Thursday/Friday/Early Saturday morning. Unfortunately, all of our reporters were out watching Lord of the Dance or entertaining Monsignor Sandman when it was happening and we have no on the spot coverage or reporting whatsoever. However, we have once again stepped unto the breach in the name of journalism and have, at great personal risk, recovered the results from the competition page. This year the joint winners of the title category are: Socky for UnBooks:Fred and EMC for The Aristocraigslist. Socky's winning streak continued into the next category: "Best Bad Taste Article" where he and Zombiebaron's collaboration tied for first place with CheddarBBQ's slightly sickening entry: Uncle John's Fetus Burgers and Abortion Clinic. The "The Master Goa Tse Award for Digital Imagery" category was the only one that obliged us with a clear winner this year, and that winner was Bucknut4, with the loin-stirring image you see attached to this story. Of course everyone who took part in the competition is a winner... except the people who didn't win anything. The UnSignpost dropped round to Socky's house to find out how he felt about being the biggest Turkey of them all this year: "I'm really proud of winning twice" he told our reporter, banging his head on the toughened glass. "I'd like to throw a big party, but first I'll need to get rid of all the dead bodies...", which was a lovely thought. He also presented our reporter with this picture which, his doctor assured us, Socky had drawn himself. The non-existent Cabal would like to pass on its non-existent thanks to all entrants and judges of the competition and would like to make special mention of Mrthejazz, who narrowly missed out on victory in two categories; hopefully the suicide note, sleeping-pills and empty Whiskey bottles we found when we went round to his house mean he has just gone on holiday. Gayming? By Chief The Uncyclopedia game namespace came under fire this week as users began discussing whether the whole thing should be euthanized as part of Uncyclopedia's commitment to cutting internet congestion by 60% before the start of 2011. In order to get a handle on matters, the UnSignpost lured veteran Uncyclopedian Mhaille into an interview by convincing him there was cake hidden in our journalist's back pocket. Mhaille called the game namespace "A SHOCKING waste of server space and a section of the site seemingly inhabited by elves, dwarves, grues and Welshpeople". Is this a fair assessment of a namespace that has been around since 2006 or is this just the condemnation of a Bureaucrat engorged with spite at his continued lack of a salary? When asked if he would support deleting the namespace altogether, Mhaille said, "It should at least be hacked back to acceptable levels and filled with humour above that of a 14 year old D&D player". The debate on the game namespace is far from over, especially since a fair number of users haven't even realised it has started yet. Should we delete the namespace, or should we allow it to grow in whichever way the laws of nature allow? However with the game namespace regularly churning out classics like Grue Life and The Great Random Adventure of Awesomeness, it is clear to many that something should be done, even if it is only a jolly good chat in the Village Dump.

Check out these pages! Poo! Top my ten! From our logs: 10:13, December 14, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Hellraiser123 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Dr UU's diagnosis: you appear to be suffering from being a twat syndrome. the cure for this is to ask someone to punch you in the face repeatedly, go try it, let me know how you get on.) 19:26, December 8, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked DILLO LOVES TO SUCK CHIEFS DICK!! (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of indefinite‎ (If only..... Oh no, I meant to think that!) 16:40, December 8, 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked OmarTheGay (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Recent surveys suggest you fall a long way short of even our standards) 05:28, December 13, 2010 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked I'm Going To Spit In Mordillo's Anus (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Congratulations!) Biopic of the Week This week we have selected someone we seem to have written about far too much in the last month or so: Funnybony. For those who don't know, Funnybony has penned more articles than you could possibly count, unless you can count up to 295. However, we have decided to try and talk about something else besides the massive number of articles he has written (several of which became featured). We also won't be mentioning his ability at potatochopping or his victory in Playwright of the Month in October, nor will we mention his general lack of anger and his fondness for sending people pictures instead of words. In fact this biopic will have very little to do with Funnybony at all; the UnSignpost apologises for this and promises that Biopic of the Week will return next week as normal. So everyone: be impressed with Funnybony, despite the fact you know almost nothing about him. Birthday of the Week UU, this very Thursday. (This in no way counts as vanity). Old-school FA; Orian57 return special! UnBooks:Daddy, There's a Zombie in the Garden UnScripts:Trapped at Sea LazyTown Snow White HowTo:Build the Perfect Sandcastle Why?:Is There a Moose On This Plane? Why?:Am I a Power Ranger? Why?:Don't You Get a Job? Sort-of-festive thing of the Week It's Uncle UU's second annual festive Mince Pie eating competition and ban patro-ho-ho-ho-l! Fun for all the family! Watch for updates over the next week or so.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--Magic Snow man ☃ 04:05, December 16, 2010 (UTC)

Fuck ChiefjusticeDS

I actually decided that two days ago, when I couldn't find any good ideas for Fuck Lyrithya. Currently,I am devoting all my articles now to Children's TV shows and the NHL. --MANIAC MCPEE 01:09, December 17, 2010 (UTC)

File:Shark attacks.mp3

I've put an icon to this in {{RecentUnNews}}, which displays it on the Uncyclopedia main page, and will leave it in the rotation on the UnNews Front Page for a couple extra ticks, as usual, in case people want to hear a voice other than my own.

Now, it may be this bottle of absinthe from the cabinet (as I had to make those changes from Zim ulator's old office at UnNews), but I had extreme trouble understanding two parts of your recording. This being the English-language service, don't you think you ought to reach out to us gayim, or whatever it is that you call us, and record a piece that will appeal to more than you and the rebbe??? Spıke ¬ 00:06 18-Dec-10

Actually I believe the rebbe's understanding of Hebrew is as good as yours. ~ 00:09, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

So its target audience numbers one??? Aye, voy! Spıke ¬ 00:14 18-Dec-10

Three. Kakun and Rataube also speak Hebrew. Also, it's oy vey, and that's Yiddish, not Hebrew. ~ 00:18, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

Mommy, Modus stole my doll!

But seriously, he says this never passed VFH, and that apparently you're the one to ask about that... I mean, it didn't pass the first time; you closed that one yourself and then ended with deleting the article as well, but... the second time it did. Didn't it? o_O But then again, since Zombiebaron passed it, shouldn't I be asking him? Or what?

Wait, maybe Modusoperandi did only see the first VFH attempt, or something? Arg... 1234 ~ 00:57, 18 December 2010

Nevermind. That's what happened. 1234 ~ 03:29, 18 December 2010

I saw on Modus' page that it's now all settled? ~ 17:43, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah... apparently he only drew the moustache on my doll because he thought it was male. Oops. 1234 ~ 20:48, 18 December 2010

leva korova

be ready to ban her for sig related offences--Poiz,Teh zork master!!!! 15:52, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

We don't ban so quickly and certainly not for sig issues. Better to explain nicely first and resort to ban only if the person ignoring the issue repeatedly. ~ 17:43, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

Zombiebaron has now banned him, evidently for loitering, plus a request from someone from the Ukrainian Uncyclopedia; see User talk:Zombiebaron Sec. 13. Spıke ¬ 03:06 21-Dec-10

Love the audio!

Even better than I hope it'd be - I'm rather hoping it might get a few listeners in Israel too and raise a smile or two. Incidentally, have you spotted the anagram yet...? A gut voch. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:20, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

Glad you like it. I wonder if the fact that I have a bad cold shows? And I didn't locate the anagram.... ~ 21:55, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

Commander Dori Loml of the Israeli assassination experts secret intelligence service Mossad...? I've rumbled your top secret code name! ;-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:22, December 20, 2010 (UTC)

Hey Mordecai

Is it possible to purge every page on Uncyclopedia at once? I've gone through about 700 pages in the past day individually purging each to fix the picture alignment, but that's quite time consuming. Thanks Mordy. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 00:04, December 20, 2010 (UTC)

I've contacted Sannse and asked them to run a purge from the server side. Hopefully that'll be done quickly. ~ 08:54, December 20, 2010 (UTC)

Wikia purged the server, it should be OK now (looked at a few pages and couldn't see the issue again). Let me know if you find any problematic pages. ~ 21:18, December 20, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks broseph. A few of the pages I purposely didn't purge are fixed now, so I suppose it worked. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:35, December 20, 2010 (UTC)

I've still been stumbling across some... is it just lag, have we scary issues, or do the servers just hate me like the rest of technology does? 1234 ~ 02:50, 21 December 2010

This talkpage does not have enough me in it

Answer me, goddamn it, or the kitten gets it

Time to rectify that. How are things, old chap? --UU - natter 11:17, Dec 20

'enough me on it'? Oh, gods... o__o It's spreading! 1234 ~ 16:55, 20 December 2010

Depends how you define things, I would have said. In its content would be more correct, I concede, but I don't see that as being an error. Besides, we're overlooking the real issue here: are you ignoring me, 'Dillo? Are you? --UU - natter 21:59, Dec 20

You are, aren't you? --UU - natter 14:58, Dec 21

Aren't you? 'Dillo? Hello? Aren't you? --UU - natter 15:33, Dec 21

WHY DID YOU HUFF THE RONNIE RADKE PAGE FOR FUCK SAKE

LET ME GUESS, BECAUSE YOU SEEM LIKE SUCH A NICE GUY AND YOU TYPE SO GOOD. Spıke ¬ 01:02 21-Dec-10

I TYPE BETTER. YOU SHOULD DO WHAT I DO IF YOU WANT PAGES TO NOT GET DELETED. 1234 ~ 01:32, 21 December 2010

HEH HEH HEH... --Magic Snow man ☃ 02:39, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

IS THIS A CHALLENGE? ARE YOU CHALLENGING ME TO A BIG-TEXT-OFF? 1234 ~ 02:57, 21 December 2010

PREPARE FOR YOUR ANNIHILATION, PATHETIC MORTALS! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:06, 21 December 2010

Meh, that's an actual article. That doesn't count, save to lose on VFH for it. Score:29%... *shakes head sadly* 1234 ~ 16:18, 21 December 2010

UU?! IS THAT YOU OVER THERE?! There is such a crowd here I can't see you! ~ 18:00, December 21, 2010 (UTC)

Who said that? --UU - natter 21:18, Dec 21

Nobody, UU. Nobody. 1234 ~ 21:29, 21 December 2010

This is it... the 100th UnSignpost.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The edition that's black and white and dead all over

Dec 23rd, 2010 • Issue 100 • Now with added bragging rights!

The UnSignpost hits 100 By Chief So here we are, issue number 100. The newspaper with the most haphazard group of editors and paper... people in the world has successfully spammed talk pages 100 times. This makes now the perfect time to look back at the UnSignpost through the ages and see the motley crew of visionaries, drug addicts and lunatics who have made the UnSignpost what it is today: damaged beyond all repair. The UnSignpost had a beginning, like everything: it was in days of yore when Uncyclopedians fiddled in the street.... in knickerbockers, Mordillo was a new-ish administrator and everything had a rosy sort of tint to it; Uncyclopedia was indeed not as bad as it is today. Two enterprising young Uncyclopedians, Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper, came up with the idea for a newspaper, a newspaper that would tell lazy people what was going on on the wiki, thus encouraging them to continue being lazy. At first, Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper made beautiful music love UnSignposts together and even considered making the UnSignpost a twice weekly paper... yeah. However such a partnership could not last forever, as nothing does except jam, and eventually Dr. Skullthumper departed the UnSignpost. Last time someone asked him about the UnSignpost, he said, among other things: "We had no idea what we were doing" which reassures us that nothing has changed in the interim. Cajek pushed the UnSignpost onward and it was good, until it wasn't any more, at which point DJ Irreverent took the wheel. Nobody has seen Cajek for years now, so being rational people, we can only assume he is sailing round the world in a boat powered entirely by Mars Bars, though we can tell you that he once said "You know, those shoes you see on telephone wires?" which should give you some food for thought. However the DJ was unable to maintain the UnSignpost for long, and he was obliged to leave; after all, in accepting the responsibility, he opened up a can of worms. Then how could he let sleeping dogs lie after he let the cat out of the bag? After all, if you change horses in the middle of the stream, next thing you know you're up the creek without a paddle. Which explains why he left; the balloon went up. After the DJ went belly-up (yes I'll stop this now) Under user decided to have a go... he strapped on his pads and hit the UnSignpost for six (OK, I'm definitely done now) - six issues, to be exact, and then wandered off to get married or some such nonsense, leaving the UnSignpost in the hands of Gerrycheevers. Gerry maintained the paper splendidly until UU came back again and enlisted the help of some more hip and happening users to help him actually know things. UU remained in the editors seat, mostly, and writers like Socky, POTR and Guildensternenstein dropped in to help now and then when UU's creativity failed him. We can't list everyone who turned up as we hate most of them, but they are lovingly remembered on the main UnSignpost page. Finally the stress became too much for UU, and he fled the office via an upstairs window. When he woke from his coma, we showed him the UnSignpost and threatened to beat him with a stick if he didn't give us a quote on how excellent it was. He said, "Boringly, I love the ol' Signpost, and will probably return to it one day ... But I have written the most issues, across 3 separate stints on the paper, and sheer quantity has to count for something, right? Anyway, I'm glad to see Chief continuing all the proud traditions except late delivery, and am idly wondering how long it'll take before he too crumbles like a dry reed in the face of its relentless news-hunger". So hurrah for the UnSignpost, 100 issues to match up with the hundreds of writers with issues who have contributed to it. See you in issue 200! The UnSignpost:A few words from someone you don't know. By PuppyOnTheRadio Hang on. Did I read that last bit correctly? 100 issues? Wow! Given that it takes our beloved paper boys about 2 hours to deliver the Unsignpost, that means that's 200 hours spent delivering this, not to mention the time and effort put into making this unperiodic periodical over the last 2ish years. So that would mean it's a combined total of multiply by 2... carry the 1... take away the number you first thought of... 2 months worth of work that has gone into the creation of this glorious publication. And it's that attention to detial that makes the UnSignpost what it is.

Check out these pages! Still need more! It's coming! But How? But Why? Christmas Songs From our logs, best of Modusoperandi: 23:25, January 24, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.14.255.228 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 days ‎ (2 days for blanking, 1 day for not being pretty like me) 20:09, September 7, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) resurrected Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Consistent and focussed approach to awesomeness) 15:45, September 14, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 94.246.126.149 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Blanker: Go blank yourself! Hah! Do you see what I did there? I'm a font of wit.) 4:01, July 26, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Not A Good Username360 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (He asked me a question. Outrage!) 14:47, July 26, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 8 hours ‎ (I banned a guy for too long this one time. Then I had nachos.) 11:01, July 18, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.187.224.60 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You fill me with rage. Also, lust. *Blush*) 06:10, November 17, 2010 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Frozen Korpse (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Yes, Mordillo is the worst. That's no reason to be rude.) 18:26, October 1, 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 205.144.32.250 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Excessive vanity. That's my gig, bucko! I'm devastating!) 19:45, August 11, 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Dxbn (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (You're a boob. Not the good kind, either. If you were, you'd have a nipple right 'there'. Just the thought of you being the good kind of boob makes me a little hard.) Biopic of the Week Rather than come up with another user to biopic, the UnSignpost has decided to biopic itself once again, making it the first... thing to have been biopiced twice! (Except {{USERNAME}}, but that doesn't count, don't ask why, it just doesn't) We here at the UnSignpost were absolutely flabbergasted when the news became known and an editor exclaimed "My gast is truly flabbered". We would like to thank the academy, you the readers, us the writers, the people who put the fillings into Mince Pies and the person who invented the Jelly Baby. However, The UnSignpost rarely votes on VFD, never contributes to the site except to spam talk pages and generally has been writing essentially the same thing for almost 3 years, which is exactly what it should be doing. If you regularly read the UnSignpost, get a job so you have less free time and stop being so limber and stress free; if you regularly write for the UnSignpost, get a job so you have less free time. Well done, UnSignpost, and may you persist in all the poor practices that have made you what you are today. Anniversary UnSignpost of the week Believe it or not the UnSignpost had a birthday, only the one, but here is the last time we devoted an entire issue to talking about ourselves and how awesome we are when you sit back and think about it. Mince Pie update It's all go over on Under user's page as the festive mince pie race gets into full swing. UU himself has consumed 39 festive treats at the time of going to press, lagging behind Roman Dog Bird who has guzzled a whopping 52 mince pies at the time of going to press. Meanwhile, ChiefjusticeDS has only managed 25 and is just happy to be involved in something that involves other people for once.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

1234 ~ 06:54, 23 December 2010

Captain Yes and Justin beaber

Hello. I would like a copy of the articles Captain Yes (Huffed October 30th, 2010) And Justin beaber (Huffed December 21st, 2010).

All categories will be removed from both articles. - Another n00b 13:49, December 23, 2010 (UTC)

WooHoo! I wrote Capten Yes! Also, merry christmas to everyone! --M&M (christmas mood) 11:26, December 25, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, I was away for a few days, is this still relevant? ~ 15:24, December 27, 2010 (UTC)

I would still like these articles as userspaces =) - Another n00b 23:06, January 2, 2011 (UTC)

Privilege or a right

I've long argued with Zim, MrN9000, and you that Admins will maximize productivity with consistency and openness. Uncyclopedia does declare editing to be a right--though not unconditional in the face of misconduct. Calling it a "privilege" defends Admins' right to act capriciously. It may be true but I find it less than optimal.

That is all I had in mind in saying your comment was "over the top" last month on Meganew's talk page. I understand your displeasure at seeing this criticism on a third party's page, also that your rebuke to me might have been to soften the blow on Meganew by coming down on both sides. It should be clear that my remark to Meganew was to sympathize with him to get him to remove the confrontation from his user page. It didn't work; and the user has recently done nothing except contribute to the Forum:Fuck Wikia thread and attempt to engage two of the site's most notorious recent trolls. Spıke ¬ 14:06 23-Dec-10

LOLPENIS... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I think someone has a case of really needing a hug. 1234 ~ 15:46, 23 December 2010

What is the point in having this discussion over which word we use? It won't change any behaviour, nor will it make the site better, I would suggest that we ask the more important questions, questions like: why sell hot dogs in packs of 5 and then hot dog buns in packs of 4? It makes no sense to me. --ChiefjusticeGameCube 20:04, December 23, 2010 (UTC)

They sell hot dogs in packages of less then 40?! Good gods, you've opened my eyes, man. My... whole... world... all becoming clear, now... 1234 ~ 20:13, 23 December 2010

This belated section is here only because Mordillo laid it on me, based on remarks somewhere else, to bring any issues to his own talk page, and I still owed that to him. It has no policy or wider implications, Chief. Lyrithya, there is a reason you feel you have to be in every conversation, and it is not because you do. Spıke ¬ 02:16 24-Dec-10

You mean I'm not important?! *tears up* 1234 ~ 02:32, 24 December 2010

Never let it be said that you are not important. It may be an accurate statement, but still there is no need to say it.

Seriously though, why are you quibbling over this? Is it a privilege? Of course it is - the ability to edit freely and without overbearing modification is a privilege. There are other sites that don't allow you that privilege without jumping through hoops. Is it a right? Absolutely - by the very nature of being a site that anyone can edit we give everyone the right to edit. Either term is not only accurate but also apt. Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 02:44, Dec 24 2010 UTC

Can I play too? I don't care about this other stuff, but packs of 40??? Where do you shop, Wal-Milf? Aleister 2:46 24 12

Yay! Now I'm in the conversation too! --Magic Snow man ☃ 05:13, December 24, 2010 (UTC)

I'd like to throw everything off track and try to add something that actually has something to do with the original conversation itself. Just... 'cause.

This is what it is, a community. Of people. Working together to... um... well, honestly, I have no idea what we're supposedly working toward, but the point is, such a thing doesn't work without the people, thus it is a right... but on the other hand, people are people. Some can't be trusted, many are nutters in at least some form, especially here, and as a whole, there's no way to know them, at least not from the start. Need to see if they are capable of decency; need to deal with them if their indecency outweighs, or the entire community will fall apart, and thus editing is a privilege. Which I suppose is basically what POTR said, just elocuted more confusedly... but people aren't consistent, thus the distinction of words and thus why they are dealt with inconsistently. It just tends not work to deal with them consistently, at least, it doesn't seem to. They all react differently.

Mind, I'm not saying the inconsistency works either...

I want a taco. 1234 ~ 05:33, 24 December 2010

Ok, I'll talk about the original conversation too. But just keep in mind, Lyrithya made me do it. Anyway, I think editing is certainly a privilege. You can edit, just as long as you don't break the rules. Then the privilege is taken away. --Magic Snow man ☃ 05:42, December 24, 2010 (UTC)

So... these packs of 40... obviously that explains America's obesity issue. And speaking of unwanted American fat, could you take back Oprah now? Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 06:47, Dec 24 2010 UTC

FYI--What motivated the original statement (by Meganew) is the declaration, on our main page, that this is "the...encyclopedia that anyone can edit." That doesn't use either word, and the difference between removing a "right" and revoking a "privilege" is mostly semantic. Where I am, "privilege" is used, regarding driving, to assert that the state can impose arbitrary conditions and revoke it on a whim. The "right" lays it on Admins to make decisions on removal clear and consistent--and I have in mind no particular decisions of any Admin. Spıke ¬ 11:07 24-Dec-10

Anyone can edit it. Once. If that edit proves them to be a cockwit, then they can no longer edit it, but they have edited it, therefore what it says is true. You'll notice it doesn't mention how many times they can edit it... ;-) Also: Merry Christmas all! (Saying that on Mordillo's talk page makes me feel like a rebel - I have a tame life). --UU - natter 10:26, Dec 25

What's all this talk about rights and privileges? Being able to edit is obviously a curse! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:45, 25 December 2010

The elf has a point. 'Sides, if all that was true, I probably would have been banned long ago. 1234 ~ 16:55, 25 December 2010

Good point. And although I understand the analogous point with driving, I think a better analogy is using public libraries. They are there for anyone to use, however people can be banned from using them if it is in the best interests of the community as a whole. Nominally Humane! some time Sunday, 00:15, Dec 26 2010 UTC

The analogy is identical. I can kick the neighborhood kids out of my backyard on a whim. The government, either kicking me off the roads or out of the library I pay for, has to justify its decision. I am for saying editing is a right--and striving to justify any decision to revoke it. That is the only thing I'm saying. By the way, why is writing on Mordillo's talk page effective in engaging everyone on Uncyclopedia...except Mordillo?! Spıke ¬ 00:43 26-Dec-10

I think Mordillo has taken it off his watchlist. But we're on the same wavelength, leaving aside semantics. Banning someone needs to be justified and should not be done on a whim. One user recently has taken to trying to start a flame war, which could potentially damage the community, but hasn't been banned as he hasn't done any damage beyond making himself look silly. Other users in the past have been infinibanned and then had the decision reversed due to mercy of admin. Admin does take on a governmental role here, and works as judge and executioner - the responsibility of the remainder of the community is to ensure that the admins that are elected are those that best represent the community, and let them know when we feel they haven't been acting in that manner and being more capricious. Feel free to disagree with me though. Nominally Humane! some time Sunday, 02:35, Dec 26 2010 UTC

Belated response (due to the fact I flew home for a holiday and spend all of the flight with 3 ultra orthodox relgious kids kicking me in the back which is probably why I came down with fever straight after damn kids!) - Hello everyone and merry Xmas - make sure you restoke the kitchen after you finish partying in my talk page. Also, Spike, getting back to me at this stage is like Puttin refusing to sign on the new nuclear arms agreement based on the 1961 Cuba Missile Crisis. All long and forgotten. So how is everyone? ~ 15:24, December 27, 2010 (UTC)

I am awesome. Mind you, that's just a general statement, and not news as such. How are you? --UU - natter 13:53, Dec 31

You killed my new pet!

Oh well - I was thinking of feeding him to the ferrets anyway, so no loss. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:39, December 27, 2010 (UTC)

Oh I'm sorry, would you like a Jew Waffel instead? ~ 17:42, December 27, 2010 (UTC)

Has it got strawberry jam on it? If so, sounds a good exchange to me. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:44, December 27, 2010 (UTC)

While I'm about, have you read this? If not, you really should - just finished it and it's possibly the best novel I read this year. The Verbovers knock our Kosher Nostra gangs into a cocked yarmulke. Well worth getting a copy. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:29, December 27, 2010 (UTC)

Have a copy in the holy language. Brilliant book, and it looks great in the Hebrew translation becasue of the various Yiddish expressions. ~ 19:04, December 27, 2010 (UTC)

Would love to read that version - if I could, of course. Glad you have your own copy anyway, as I enjoyed it so much (just finished it the other day) I was seriously thinking of sending you my copy if you hadn't read it so that saves a bit of expense. I loved the often dark humour (the sholem, for example) which when combined with a damn good ripping yarn made it a sure-fire winner in every way. Have you read any of his other stuff? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:25, December 28, 2010 (UTC)

When in Roma

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right - Uncy in the holiday season makes me feel right at home. Thanks for letting me steal and use your wording for the St. Paul quote on Jesus was Christian NOT Jewish, and look at the whirlwind in one or two people that page caused! I'm wondering if it got the same reaction from some of the thousands of silent readers "out there". As you probably know, I wouldn't have had it up for feature if I didn't think it was featureworthy and shaped and saw the thinking behind each and every line. It seems to have done its job close to home here as well. I was going to put a serious explanation on the talk page and ask the fellow which things exactly (besides Jesus was Jewish, damnit, everybody know that! 'cept they don't), but am following your advice there, so, thanks! Just caught the vid on your user page, nice. Happy everything, Aleister 19:00 28 12

I thought it was good and as the token Jew around here, I think it's a winning opinion! Also, happy new non Christian related year! ~ 17:43, December 31, 2010 (UTC)

¡Eh, tú!

¿Qúe, exactamente, queriás para la noticia del sitio? Necesito saber antes de que empiezo en una, vale, una aventura de manera...

Not that I speak spanish. Do you? 1234 ~ 05:12, 30 December 2010

No etiende. ~ 17:43, December 31, 2010 (UTC)

Alas, Uncyclofreak!

Evening great administrator! We have great news from illogicopedia that ED has been DoSed! See here. 86.148.105.4 17:18, December 30, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost, UnSignpost, eat it right here...

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH

Dec 30th, 2010 • Issue 101 • The periodical with just a hint of pie.

Awards of the year By Chief As Christmas fades into the deep darkness of memory and the New Year hurtles towards us so quickly that experts have predicted it will reach us within a few days, thoughts inevitably turn to the Yearly awards. Well, the thoughts of we here at the UnSignpost do; if yours don't, then you aren't committed to this site enough. The yearly awards are: Writer of the Year, Uncyclopedian of the Year and Potatochopper of the Year. These highly imaginative awards are hotly contested affairs with up to 3 Uncyclopedians being nominated for each! While voting will not be open until early January you can already begin to think about who you want to nominate. The voting will be open until the end of January, hopefully, maybe, if we remember/are nominated. So prepare for the excitement, bribery and boredom fun. Vote, vote and vote. In all seriousness, there are some really deserving users around here and if you can't think of anything, then you need to get involved. Now to balance that out: Bing boing whoopsie knickers. Lolpoo By Chief Those of you who frequently watch the village dump may have spied, nestled amongst imaginative topics like "I r haz a solushan 4 all teh speeling prooblams on Uncylopedia!!" and "MY PENIS IS BENSON", the topic about the Poo Lit Surprise competition. As the forum topic suggests, the competition is expected to start in January on the 18th. The PLS is arguably the biggest writing competition in Uncyclopedia and judges are still needed to help out, just check out the forum topic if this is something you want to do. The controversial, drama causing, admin harassing problem associated with the PLS last time was the issue of a cash prize for the winner, and clashes over various entries to the competition and the related financial consequences caused problems for the competition and contributed towards Mordillo's 200th mental breakdown of the year. This year crafty Scot Sycamore, who has been coerced into hosting the PLS, has decreed that the winner may nominate a charity to which an unconfirmed sum will be sent on victory. Any further winnings may be withdrawn from your bank account with your credit card and redeemed at most shops. The competition starts on January 18th and we are lead to believe will close 14 days later, however we cannot confirm this for reasons that we are unable to confirm at time of writing and going to press. It's that simple.

Check out these pages! It is complete! Got a problem? Moar votes plzzz From our logs: 16:41, December 26, 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.10.118.29 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (What's that under the tree? Why - it's a gift you overlooked! Whatever could it be? Well, how about that - it's a ban!) 21:08, December 28, 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.4.116.14 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Sets off my arsehole detector. Don't ask why I have one.) 10:28, December 25, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 143 seconds ‎ (Merry thing you don't celebrate old chap! Hope the presents you didn't get would have been fantastic!) 22:15, December 24, 2010 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.2.208.36 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Did I just accidentally start a gang war between myself and some kids from Scotland? Cool beans.) 18:20, December 28, 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 173.32.12.212 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Simon IS a naughty boy but it's not for you to tell) Biopic of the Week Bananas, bats and beach balls, what do these things have in common? The answer of course is Lyrithya, who, let’s face it, is just plain weird. Obsessed with everything from masturbation to mastication and from coding to cunnilingus... OK I made some of that up, but the thing about Lyrithya is that you don't know what I made up and what is the whole gruesome truth. That aside, Lyrithya seems to successfully spend more than 24 hours on Uncyclopedia every day and seems to be attracting the attention of the majority of the user base, like a lone woman in a room full of sexually frustrated quasi-rapists, which she is. But why not go and say hello if you haven't already? The response will baffle you, but that's half the appeal.... isn't it? Newsroom UnTune of the week Won't Get Banned Again

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

1234 ~ 21:30, 30 December 2010

VFH article

I was hoping this would be featured on Christmas Day, or at least on some day in the neighborhood, but that doesn't look like to be the case. Since I'd rather not have a feature than to have a Christmas article featured in January, could you possibly be a chap and close the voting page? Make it a quasi-feature or something. I'm sure there has to be an unwritten clause about the author asking for his article to not be featured. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 22:49, Dec. 30, 2010

I can do it, but I think it would be a shame to remove it just because it's XMAS related. You don't want to give it a few more days? ~ 17:43, December 31, 2010 (UTC)

The interview with "Mother Mary" (who had an abortion) would have been especially topical to run on Christmas for that reason, but human-interest stories and stories on the topic of abortion run in the "real" media all the time. This story came in one day after Scofield's polemic on Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and I delayed for another day doing a graphic for it on UnNews because it initially read like a thinly disguised anti-abortion opinion. I delayed further in nominating it on VFH and there is the usual one-week delay before most stuff there gets a head of steam. Timing it to go on UnNews for the holiday season almost ensures that it won't get FA by then, as most UnNewses are out-of-date by the time they get FA. But I disagree that it loses much if featured late. Spıke ¬ 17:55 31-Dec-10

Well Kip, it was next in line so I featured it and you get to be the first article of 2011. I hope you don't mind too much. ~ 18:14, December 31, 2010 (UTC)

Foolitzer Prize rules

Section 3 of the Foolitzer Prize states: "At this time you may vote ONCE for your favorite journalist, though you may vote for multiple people." Funnybony on 25-Dec quoted it and claimed his right under it to vote for multiple nominees. The sentence seems contradictory. Would you please issue an interpretation? Spıke ¬ 01:50 31-Dec-10

Good point, I'll change it. ~ 17:43, December 31, 2010 (UTC)

SOAD

I have moved the meat to System of a Down and turned the acronym into a redirect. There is a third page, System Of A Down, which MadMax protected three years ago. It now points to the Blue Screen of Death but should now point to System of a Down. Spıke ¬ 00:04 1-Jan-11

Fixed. ~ 18:40, January 3, 2011 (UTC)

Reimu Hakurei

FYI--Since you closed VFD on this article, Anon has redirected both links to touhou.wikia.com to an independent wiki on the subject. The citation of Wikia's wiki on the video game was one I made during the VFD save. I presumed we should boost Wikia's own forum for further details; don't know what Wikia, or Uncyclopedia editors, would think about the recent edit. Spıke ¬ 02:07 1-Jan-11

I don't see an issue (or a special need) to boost Wikia on top of other wikis. ~ 18:40, January 3, 2011 (UTC)

Horribly, terribly pressing question that I think I had a reason for intending to ask, but now I forgot what it was...

In fact, now I forgot the question. Crap. Er... I'll come back later. 1234 ~ 22:00, 1 January 2011

Oh, right. What were you planning on doing with the new banners? And the old ones? 1234 ~ 22:01, 1 January 2011

Wait, no... that wasn't it... crap. Or was it? That doesn't even make sense. 1234 ~ 22:01, 1 January 2011

And do the writers of the year get some sort of trophy, or something? 1234 ~ 22:02, 1 January 2011

And what about the anonnotice? 1234 ~ 22:07, 1 January 2011

Wait, nevermind. IPs don't care about any of this, anyway... 1234 ~ 22:08, 1 January 2011

Or do they? 1234 ~ 22:09, 1 January 2011

Whatever you're on, I want some of it delivered to me pronto. Also, I see that you've done more or less what I intended to do, even though you assume I fail at sitenotice. But that's OK, I'll just sulk quietly. Thanks for all the effort! ~ 18:40, January 3, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews "Group hug"

What you regard as a misuse of the Foolitzer Prize page may have informed you of who the notable contributors are and enabled you to cast a knowledgeable vote, which was one of the reasons to do it. The other, of course, is to reward UnNews regulars; I will not dispense epaulettes as Zim used to do religiously, but would recognize devotion to the page, in the only UnNews forum that people actually read. Spıke ¬ 01:23 2-Jan-11

Then you'll do it on another format, as the award page is not intended for that purpose. Those not a noms create a mess that someone needs to read through by the end of the month to decide who is who etc. ~ 18:40, January 3, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the nom

Much appreciated, and it means a lot to me, but I think there are other people on the list who deserve it more. I don't have half as much time to waste devote to Uncyclopedia as I used to these days whereas Chief has put in a phenomenal amount of work. Nevertheless, thanks once again! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:38, January 3, 2011 (UTC) PS - ordered a "Hebrew for beginners" programme the other day. Thought it was about time I learned the basics. :-)

My pleasure! I think you're certainly a worthy candidate. As for the Heb lessons, I'll be happy to give you the more...err..useful part of it, the part that doesn't show in the books. ~ 18:42, January 3, 2011 (UTC)

Things such as: "Well doctor, I first noticed it turning purple a few days ago - then the spots appeared," "Shalom, sailor - care to grease my flanks?" "No, I've never been a member of Hamas and that's not a Qassam hidden in my trousers. Oh, and by the way, you're the most beautiful female Mossad operative I've ever met," "Do you sell anything guaranteed to get a gerbil out of any orifice?" and "I bought a Hebrew for beginners kit off Ebay, I have no idea what I just called your mother but I meant to wish her good health so please leave off the krav maga" and the like? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:49, January 3, 2011 (UTC)

I was more thinking of things such as my hovercraft is full of eels but those work as well! ~ 18:56, January 3, 2011 (UTC)

I made sure I was able to say that in every human language and those of several other species many years ago. Stood me in good stead a few times too, I can tell you. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:59, January 3, 2011 (UTC)

I hate to jump in the middle of this interesting discussion. . .

. . .but a question. Are people really allowed to vote "against" on a best of the year award? It doesn't seem at all fair that they should be, since people vote their semi-precious votes for a user and then someone else can come by and negate that vote. Aleister 1:03 4 1 '11

There's a good expression in Hebrew to describe the situation - Kosher but stinky. There's no rule against it, so as much as I'd like to remove against votes I can't find a justification to do so, unless it's a really dickish vote (like the one I removed yesterday from UotY). --~ 08:35, January 4, 2011 (UTC)

He said that to me once, I cried for a fortnight. --ChiefjusticeGameCube 08:58, January 4, 2011 (UTC)

If people wish to waste their vote on a negative that is their choice, but I too don't like the practice at all. It seems almost guaranteed to generate pointless drama which is something we could well do without. It remains a privilege to be nominated for any of the OTY awards, just to be recognised by your peers for your contributions is its own reward. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

So...

...I heard you like archiving... - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at 22:41, Tuesday 04 January 2011 -

• You are mistaken. I like penises. ~ 12:10, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

  Actually, I had heard that, too. - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at 22:34, Thursday 06 January 2011 -

  Okay, I have to ask... do you give them names? 1234 ~ Major Pleb Sir Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 • GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 22:48, 6 January, 2011 (UTC)

Two important things

- I've hopefully sorted some of the pages now here, things such as creating a judges page and and the page for writer's entries. Just to double check are these done right? I think I've got things underway, but just wanted to check in to make sure I'm doing things right. Also thanks for sorting out those banner things to get more judges and stuff;-)

- Where would you stand if a policy was put together via a forum and voting which outlaws "Pokey Bum Wanks" amongst contributers and those affiliated with Uncyclopedia?

--Sycamore (Talk) 23:11, January 4, 2011 (UTC)

The subpages all look good, didn't see anything that seemed wrong. I'm not clear about the whole cash prize issue, but I'll leave it up for you to decide and manage (just as long as it doesn't become an issue like it did last time...).

I didn't understand the second point, I think you used too much of Scottish slang there :) ~ 12:10, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

Awesome:-) I'll have a look into the prize. Is it better to have a system where I send first post say a daft award (which means I have to get an address from the winner), or does the site have an existing account with a charity, like PayPal so we just upload cash?--Sycamore (Talk) 19:23, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

As far as I know we don't have a "corporate" PayPal. I believe EMC used his own in the last round. ~ 10:55, January 6, 2011 (UTC)

Syria on VFD

Okay, as you have a place nearby, please browse the article and tell me if there are additional absurdities we could skewer while we're at it on this page. Spıke ¬ 18:42 5-Jan-11

I lived most of my life in Israel, so you can say I was fairly close most of the time. I ran through it, not bad actually. I've added some and removed some other parts. It's typical punch lines for the region that people that come from that area will get, I tried to make it clear for the rest of you lot as well. ~ 19:26, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks; it helps to have the right name of the local secret police. However, that is a lot of blue and a lot of "fuck" for the intro; also, I thought Deer in-Headlights was the right translation based on the facial expression in the photo. Is his forehead that big? Spıke ¬ 20:02 5-Jan-11

It's gigantic, same as with his father. Al-Assad, by the way, means "The Lion" in Arabic. ~ 23:14, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost Delivery!

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Jan 6th, 2011 • Issue 102 • Just add Milk!

Wiki Update By Chief So it would seem, considering Uncyclopedia has successfully staggered its way into a new year (and its 6th birthday on Janurary 5), that everything is working as it should; this raises the question, why? Well, we at the UnSignpost love a challenge, so we have investigated the salt mines of Uncyclopedia to see the inmates users who are currently labouring in them to produce the site we all know and love. VFD is working splendidly and has recently held a minor games purge. If you missed out, shame on you. Watched over by Sycamore, it is edited continuously by a few others who have been hitting the random page button in search of crap to rewrite for months, if not years now. Over on UnNews, SPIKE is also labouring in the place of UnNews grandmaster, the right honourable Zim ulator. Meanwhile on pee review, Lyrithya and Black flamingo11 have been shouldering more responsibility than they know what to do with, reviewing and checking the infernal tables and generally filling the void left by somebody trying in vain to get a life. Now for a quick moment on the forums.... that's that over with. Recent changes is also empty because Socky has stopped categorising absolutely everything and everyone else is.... writing. Romartus is still shattering hopes and dreams on VFH and we hope to be able to bring you this exact same piece of news next year. The admins are of course splitting their time between overseeing the whole process and abusing their powers for giggles. If you work like a dog for Uncyclopedia and you haven't been mentioned here, it's nothing personal; it's just you aren't good enough our journalists are easily distracted by loud noises and flashing lights, so perhaps you live too near a lighthouse.... or a level crossing. From the desk of the Cabal:Compliance recommended for 2011 By Nobody It has not escaped the notice of the non-existent Cabal that Uncyclopedia has successfully survived another year, and the Cabal, of which there is none, orders all subjects to have a happy new year, or else. It would seem that you ignored our ruling of last year where we instructed you to comply at every opportunity and issued a decree banning drama. In 2010 we saw range blocks and epic ban sprees (to purge the ballot boxes and thus purify democracy), we witnessed mass deletions (necessary losses), we observed hundreds of forum topics declaring Wikia to be the worst (Wikia are to be obeyed despite this), we watched as you persecuted the weak, stubborn and female (to build the master race) and took note of your single success, that of closing the worst 100 reflections on 2010 before midnight on December 31st. This took you two years; it does not count. In short you have failed us again. So as 2010 fades into distant memory, we turn our eyes to 2011. We have the following advice: question nothing; you are meddling with powers you cannot possibly comprehend; remain indoors; do not attempt to remove the cameras from your dwelling they are for the protection of the community; drive safely; stay in school/work; shut the fuck up and go write an article; provide your bank details and PIN when asked. That is all citizens, you may now move freely about the complex.

Check out these pages! Writer of the Year Uncyclopedian of the Year Potatochopper of the Year It's here, but we're still confused! From our logs: 09:56, January 1, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Famine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (by blocking Famine, do I end world hunger? No need to thank me, just bring me a pork pie.) 12:35, January 5, 2011 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked EugeneKay (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1.673 hours ‎ (For helping me with my email - smart arse.) 17:06, January 4, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 166.32.193.81 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (reverting admins and other experienced users for no good reason, also for annoying me on a tuesday, the worst day of the week to annoy me.) 23:05, January 3, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 166.32.193.81 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Stop that, on the path of the righteous edit warring is not, Swindon that way lies) 07:42, January 4, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.131.23.226 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 days ‎ (His habit of replacing words with "COCK," "JESUS" and "CHRIST" is so funny my hand slipped and accidentally hit the "BAN" button) Biopic of the Week This week, the UnSignpost has once again put off actually having to find out something about a user - going to their talk page, reading their articles; this is the same as work. Instead we have decided to biopic last year because that means we can make lots of generalisations and you all get to be included in the biopic, unless you joined in the last 6 days, in which case, where the fuck were you? In 2010, all sorts of fun things happened. We appointed new administrators, we reviewed lots, then we didn't review at all, we all left because of drama in summer, then we all came back again, then the FBI phoned An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays and all the administrators started drinking even more, except Zombiebaron who came back and we all welcomed him, what a splendid fellow. We fought in the street, we fought on talk pages and we fought in the village dump, then we went to Wikipedia and fought there, then the servers broke so we all came back here and fought with Wikia. Then we sulked. Happy New Year! Mince Pie of the year UU ate more mince pies than anyone else over Christmas. Well done him, he wins at heart disease. We look forward to hearing of his premature death unloved and miserable thousands of miles from home.

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Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 09:52, Jan 6 2011 UTC

צהריים טובים

Getting good, aren't I? Fluency awaits. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:02, January 6, 2011 (UTC)

Fancy! Do you know how to say my hovercraft is full of eels" already? ~ 14:31, January 6, 2011 (UTC)

Is it צ וביםטה הריים צהר טהרוביםרי? pillow talk 23:29, January 6, 2011 (UTC)

I'm sorry, that was a typo. I meant רחפת שלי מלא צלופחים. pillow talk 23:30, January 6, 2011 (UTC)

Teach me how to say, "Passage for one, please. And hold the eels." Spıke ¬ 23:31 6-Jan-11

Hype - just about! you got the gender wrong and you're missing a "the" and "with" but the meaning is there! Spike - that would be: מעבר עבור אחד בבקשה, וללא צלופחים. (pronunciation: ma`avar le`echad bevakasha ve`lelo tslofachim). ~ 09:52, January 7, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, I will use that at the very first opportunity. Spıke ¬ 13:27 7-Jan-11

A very useful phrase. ~ 13:37, January 7, 2011 (UTC)