Portal:Culinary
The Food and Cooking Portal
Food is one of the most dangerous substances known to humankind. It is not only poisonous but carcinogenic, so much so that it or one of its derivatives is found in the tumours of all cancer patients. Unfortunately for us, it is also notoriously hard to avoid and extremely addictive, so you probably eat it every day. The world of conventional medicine has mostly failed to recognise this threat to public safety, going so far as to advocate its consumption. Alternative medicine, however, is well aware of the dangers of food, and alternative doctors never allow their patients to eat it. As food is everywhere, the difficulty of avoiding it discourages many from following through with alternative treatments, and they go back to clueless conventional doctors who rely on old-fashioned cutting, burning and slashing. (Full article...)
Cooking ... it's not exactly music... but it's close. Cooking is the act of applying culinary finesse to raw materials a manner that would procreate delectable (needless to say edible) and proper nourishment for humans of civilisation. It is prepared by 90% of the women in the world who come home after hours of grueling sexual harassment and unproductive meetings to apply heat to the meat or frozen dinner in order to satisfy the man. It encompasses a vast range of methods, drawers full of once used tools, and 5 used daily. The combinations of ingredients and rearranged rotations serve to disguise the same old same oldishness of the food. (Full article...)
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| A sausage soiree for Catholicism! |
A Sausage Festival is a bi-annual family-oriented weekend fair centered around a single theme: Sausage. It was founded to support Catholic education at the Immaculate Conception Our Lady of Perpetual Girls' School of Orange County. From the traditional Catholic Sausage Dinner to a variety of other attractions, there is something for even the ficklest of meat-pickle eaters at this holy gathering of bishops, elders and monks.
A Very Quick Overview
Unlike sausage parties, sausage fests are about enjoying the diversity and artistic efforts involved in both making and eating sausage. Sounds pretty simple, but consider how ubiquitous sausages are in all in our nations and how little time, history, or discussion there is about sausages in everyday culture. Truly a shame, don't you think?
| Archive | Article credit: Zana Dark | (more ) |
Culinary News
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| The daughter in question. |
CLEVELAND, OHIO - Hi, I'm not trying to seem like a prude here, but I would really appreciate if you stopped everything you have been doing with my daughter. Look, I get it. You are a chef at one of these fun, hip Japanese Steakhouses. It is your job to somehow cook a gourmet meal while also being the night's entertainment. You started off so well, but, ah, what can I say? You're starting to make me a little uncomfortable. No offense.
So, look, I've been to one of these places before. I kind of know most of the tricks they teach you in whatever hibachi grill school that you all must have attended at some time. It is my daughter's first time at one of these places, however, and I don't want her to get the wrong idea.…
| Archive | Article credit: The Woodburninator | (more...) |
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How To Find a Girlfriend - a step by step for total idiots.
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“I like hash tags because they look like #waffles. ”
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| God's cookin' |
Cracker Barrel is a Southern US-themed family style restaurant that operates in North America, particularly in the United States. The chain has locations in 41 states with each business consisting of a restaurant and a country store that sells cheap junk that only your grandmother would want to buy. The nostalgia of the "stuff" these folks peddle easily offsets the extremely poor and toxic quality of the goods. The food itself is fairly decent considering it is processed southern comfort food.
| Archive | Article credit: Skinfan13 | (more ) |
Featured Food Product
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| Fuck you, Rutabaga sluts. |
The rutabaga is an alleged vegetable that began life as a cross between a cabbage and a turnip, much like the mule is a cross between a horse and a donkey. Unlike Rutabagas, all mules are good for is... hmmm... Well anyway, if you wanted to learn about rutabagas from an expert you came to the right place. If you wanted to learn about the bright side of rutabagas, look out: They suck, and there is no bright side to them.
Much of the history of rutabagas has been lost in a shroud of disinterest. Fortunately, some facts remain...
| Archive | Article credit: Cajek | (more ) |
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