User:HerrSimpson/United Socialist States of America
“We have full freedom of speech with no consequences whatsoever!”
The United Socialist States of America (also referred to as the United Soviet States of America, the U.S., the USSA, or America) is a constitutionally socialist state comprising fifty provinces and a federal district. It was formed on January 20, 2009, while Barack Obama was president. He started a revolution that turned all McDonalds restaurants and Walmart into terrorist organisations. He makes the Wal Mart as some place to get your commodidies than a place for opportunity and employment. Most of the people working in Wal Mart are welfare collecting socialists that buy crappy food imported from communist Cuba and buy crappy computers from semi socialist India and crappy toys for kids to play with from communist China. He especially started hunting down Republicans, who tried to escape. He has stalinist beliefs on Republicans and anyone who was a gun sliging, Jesus loving, and black hating Republican was perscuted. He claims Fox news was right wing Nazi propaganda and brainwashing for the masses.
History[edit | edit source]
The famous United Socialist States of America was finally liberated on the 20th of January 2009 by Hisself Barack Obama. He was born in Turkimenistan, which is the perfect place for a Muslim commie dictatorship. The battle was still in the days of the United States of America. He was other Republicans he was willing to send to Hell. He started to pray to Jesus, and he gave him the Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx, father of all things communist. He was excited, and within 6 hours, 6 minutes and 6 seconds, He finished reading it. There was his path and destiny revealed. The Rise of Communism had begun.
Founding of the United Socialist States of America[edit | edit source]
After he got the peasants, Mexicans, and all the other immigrants, even the illegal ones, he won presidency by 99.9% of the votes because he said that the Republicans ate illegal immigrants for dinner, especially the ones who ran for president, who ate illegal immigrant children.
After his very communistic-socialistic democratic party won 99.9% of the votes and seats in the house, he initiated a revolution on 1st December 2008 that lasted until 1st January 2009. Why did it take so long? Because Barack had some problems with His wife after having some fun together one night, Michelle noticed that Obama had a mustache, much like ol' Hitler and Joseph Stalin, and left him for That guy who lost the 2004 elections.
Acquisition of Iraq[edit | edit source]
On January 20, 2009, Commissar Barack Husseinovich Obama became the new ruler of the United Socialist States of America. First thing he did was to make all the US Army soldiers wear red dresses decorated with yellow hammer and sickles and stars. Then he had them try to take over Iraq, right around Turkimenistan and make it a territory of Russia, and made it Socialist Territory of Iraq for the glory of Mother Russia America!
Then some random Brit guy comes and yells "Thou cannot doeth this. That is inappropriately againsteth The rules. Thou hath no honour. Or colour. I thinketh, red isth impropereth, whyeth dideth thou noth picketh blueth?" And then has all members of the United Noobs declare war on the U.S.S.A.; except the Soviet Commissar's Union, which its leaders were all having fun in bars and drinking barrels of vodka; and United Democratic Empire of Asia, which their leaders were still bickering in an inarticulate language no one can understand.
Getting the Grip on the world[edit | edit source]
Barack Obama was so fascinated by the world, so much, that he decided to CHANGE it. Wow. What a change.
The U.S.S.A. was a very powerful country, with Warmarx Communist Corporation and other Leading Marxist Corporations poping up around the holes of the world. Now, the only thing that remains is getting Lenin's well-preserved corpse from those filthy, capitalistic ballistic Russians.
Fortunately, the commissar's union of the United Socialist States forged up a plan to conquer Russia and make it back into the Union of Shitty Socialist Republics, by planting McDonalds into that country and taking over the government with <insert name here>'s help by having <insert name here> sell cookies to the Russian president and then serving as a human shield when all the USSA soldiers barge in shooting. Oh and in a Socialist government, the life of one person, such as <insert name here> is unimportant and is considered as giving up for the love of the motherland.
Operation: Castrocommunist[edit | edit source]
On July 4th, 2009, Barack began Operation: Castrocommunist, supported by his hot wife, Pam Anderson's mom. The mission? To take over Cuba's many Cigars. How he did it? He sent his powerful Red Army and had them stick their AK-16's up Fidel Castro's ass, dictator of The Cuban Cigar Company Inc., and asked him kindly to retire. The guy agreed, and was fooled and put into a Concentration Camp somewhere in the MidWest, where some guys with funny accents would have fun with him.
The Disastrous RetroRevolution[edit | edit source]
Obama's reign over the entire United States wouldn't last too long. A disastorious, communistic, naziolistic, terrible disaster occurred.
The Man[edit | edit source]
Oh well, the guy just wouldn't quit his lust for power. Arnold Schwarzenegger decided to initiate a RetroRevolution depicting the rise of the United Republic of America. It's a very bleak era for the USSA, as the URA is very gray and dim, and reminds one of the Third Reich and another of the son of satan. At the same time, the Federal Democratic Republic of Louisiania was also formed by the citizens of Louisiania and the southern Arc of Kansas with a little of Alabamia wanted to secede from the glorious nation of the Beautiful USSA. But these so called Blacks were virtually ignored because it was all useless land that was a haven for Hurried Canes.
And if you, yes you <insert name here>, are dumb enough to ask, yes, the borders changed, here's a visual to the left, haha, get it? Left party!.
Unfortunate Piece[edit | edit source]
In 2012, unfortunately, the U.R.A. militarily defeated the U.S.S.A. by offering Angel Beer to all the soldiers of the U.S.S.A. and got them so drunk that both sides had parties. But then all the U.R.A.-ans attacked and defeated the drunkards. So now, Obama had to surrender and peace was made. Then Obama made a great mudslapping speech about how the U.R.A. is bad and-
-The MarxDonald wall was built.
But the fascists didn't really care. They partied for 12 days and 13 nights with vodka and beer and had a great feeling. Chucky E. Noriz, celebrated hero of the fascist republic, made a glorious speech involving hitting everyone in the crowd in the face. They all died.
Culture[edit | edit source]
The USSA's culture is very interesting. It is a melting pot of a wobble of cultures. This country is also dominated by white bearded men like Karl Marx posing with a finger pointing at the unlucky reader and saying "I want YOU to become Communist", which is starting to become popular by your Mom and Canada. Obama also has a passion for Siths. So he ran all the way to a galaxy far far away and brought them over for a party. He then made them sleep with Billy and he took all their armor and put it on. Now he's Supreme Ruler of the Known World.
He had a couple of problems with Uncle Sammy. Sammy's his long lost grandfather and the guy just didn't want to put the Socialist hat on, but after realizing that he's a liberal, he put it on happily.
Redheads can get pretty ugly in the U.S.S.A. But they've been incorporated into Obama's Secret Police Force and use their powerful subterranean vampire skills to beat the crap out of dirty republicans and anti-marxists.
Literature[edit | edit source]
As far as research has gone, the only books allowed are those about Communism and Communists. Obama has also written a miniature book about his loving comrade Hillary, oh it's wonderful reading. You must read the book!
Politics[edit | edit source]
The politics of the U.S.S.A. are very confusing and are very complicated for people to understand for people with an IQ under 130. These dumb rednecks and farmers that predict the weather from standing outside in the middle of a rainstorm and saying we are safe while not looking at the weather channel call Obama a big ass sun of a bitch that ruins our country and the people over 130 consider him the downfall of American society.
Of course, the only party allowed in the U.S.S.A. is the People's Social Democratic Anti-Republican Freedom Party, also known as the Democratic Party. The DemoCratic part of Bill DickLickinton was really the same thing as the Republican Party but it was run by Bill Gates and corporations like McDonalds and Wal Mart (they are people too) to create a fascist world of democracy. All DickLickinton was a DickLicktator and make sexual relations what we do here. The political system of the U.S.S.A. consists of the All Supreme High King Father Dictator Barack H Obama-Stalin as the Head of State and the Head of Government, with only his Inner Circle holding minor official powers.
However many times he says so, the People have NO voice in the government except for the occasional "exception".
Besides, according to the Commissar's records there are actually no protests and the people are utterly satisfied with the current government. Even Ol' Billy the Beggar is enjoying his tiny little cell in the renovated People's Democratic Prison of Alcajazz, and its even said he even likes the jail food and very friendly (maybe even too friendly) company of his cellmates.
Political Geography of the U.S.S.A.[edit | edit source]
Even though the U.R.A. seceded, Obama with the annexed Mexico made a few changes so now there are still 50 Socialist States in the U.S.S.A., with the additional territories of Iraq and Cuba. He united the Californias and tore down the fence so now all Americans and Mexicans can live together in peace and prosperity.
See also[edit | edit source]
| America & Friends |
United States of America · Canada (British Columbia) · Mexico |
| Irrelevant Islands |
Acadia · Cayman Islands · Cuba · Ernst Thälmann Island · Barbados · Bermuda triangle · Dominican Republic · Greenland · Haiti · Jamaica · Martinique · Monkey Island · Pen Island · St. Pierre and Miquelon · Tortuga · Trinidad and Tobago · Tropico |
| Yes, They Count |
Belize · Costa Rica · El Salvador · Guatemala · Honduras · Nicaragua · Panama |
