Quake III: The Hardcore FPS With Instant Messaging

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High School Kids on PC after playing Quake III
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Quake III: The Hardcore FPS With Instant Messaging
Quake III Cover.jpg
This Cover has a pixelated ESRB rating logo OMG
Developer(s) Windows/Mac
id Software
Dreamcast
Raster
PlayStation 2 (Revolution) and PC (Rocket Edition)
Bullfrog
British Armed Forces
NATO
United States Government
CIA
Xbox 360 (Arena Arcade)
Texas Bomberman
Publisher(s) Windows/Mac
Activision
Linux
Loki
Dreamcast
Sega
PlayStation 2 (Revolution)
EA Games
Squaresoft (Japan)
Xbox 360 (Arena Arcade)
Bethesda
Release date December 2, 1999 (PC)
October 22, 2000(SDC)
March 26, 2001(PS2)
Genre Hardcore FPS
Platform(s) Microsoft Windows
Linux
Mac
Port Dreamcast
Playstation 2
Xbox 360
Rating M
Would Sephiroth play it? Rather get shot!, motherfucker!!!!!!!

, also known affectionately as Quake III Arena is a multiplayer-focused first-person shooter video game released in December 2, 1999. The game was developed by Texas-based Game developer id Software and featured music composed by Sonic the Hedgehog, Foo Fighters, Aerosmith, Blur, Limp Bizkit, and LUNA SEA. Quake III is the third game in the popular Quake series and differs from previous games by excluding a traditional single-player element, instead focusing on multiplayer action. The single-player mode is played against computer-controlled bots.

Quake III is not actually a video game. It is an MSN Messenger's and instant messaging Hybrid-client that allows users to kill each other in a virtual 3D environment with devices that resemble weapons. Those without an internet connection can have in-depth conversations with chat bots using one of the best AIs ever created (called id tech 3) which became the one of greatest, most ground-breaking messaging innovation ever achieved.

Notable features of Quake III include the minimalist design, lacking rarely used items and features, the extensive customizability of player settings such as field of view, texture detail and enemy model, and advanced movement features such as strafe-jumping and rocket-jumping.

Quake III: The Hardcore FPS With Instant Messaging is available on a number of platforms and contains mature content. The game was highly praised by reviewers who, for the most part, described the gameplay as fun and engaging. Many liked the crisp graphics and focus on multiplayer.

Quake III: The Hardcore FPS With Instant Messaging released in 1999 and became a popular Hardcore FPS Games for Noob, Italians, Matt Casamassina, Adam Sessler and Kumail Nanjiani from X-Play, and The Cable Guy Although it was originally intended as an competitor for The Most impressive Hardcore FPS Games in 1999 Infogrames's Unreal Tournament '99 and The Most innovative Hardcore FPS Games in 1999 Fox Interactive's Alien vs. Predator for computer programmers, grad students, Hardcore Gamers, High School Kids (especially the High School Kids from Horikoshi), Extreme Programmers, and Thug.

Quake III has also been used extensively in professional electronic sports tournaments such as QuakeCon, CPL, Dreamhack, and the ESWC.

The Quake III slogan is All the weapons, twice the Quad Damage!.

Gameplay[edit]

Angrybbcreporter.gif YOU WERE NOT THERE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE INTERVIEW!
This article contains material that may cause you to start screaming.
Extreme Programmer Larry "Gnarly" Johnson slays an epic rail (Left). Kindaichi Hajime abusing his 14 year old girlfriend (Right) and while "both" playing a Deathmatch in Quake III at the same time.
High School Kids from Horikoshi, Dicaprio, and Macaulay Culkin after playing Quake III

Unlike its predecessors, Quake III does not have a plot-based single-player campaign. Instead, it simulates the multiplayer experience with computer-controlled players known as bots. The game's story is brief - 'the greatest warriors of all time fight for the future of the Earth called the Vadrigar The Masochism in the No Laughing War.' The introduction video shows the abduction of such a warrior, Noob, while making a last stand. Continuity with prior games in the Quake series and even Doom is maintained by the inclusion of player models and biographical information. A familiar mixture of gothic and technological map architecture as well as specific equipment is included, such as the Quad Damage power-up, the infamous rocket launcher, and the BFG super-weapon.

In Quake III , the player progresses through tiers of maps, combating different bot characters that increase in difficulty, from Hyde (at Tier 0) to Otaku (at Tier 7). As the game progresses, the fights take place in more complex arenas and against tougher opponents. While deathmatch maps are designed for up to 16 players, tournament maps are designed for duels between 2 players and in the single-player game could be considered 'boss battles'.

The weapons are balanced by role, with each weapon having advantages in certain situations, such as the railgun at long-range and the lightning gun at close quarters. The BFG super-weapon is an exception to this; compared to other similarly named weapons in the Doom/Quake series, Quake III's incarnation of this weapon is basically a fast-firing rocket launcher and it is found in hard-to-reach locations. Weapons appear as level items, spawning at regular intervals in set locations on the map. If a player dies, all of their weapons are lost and they receive the spawn weapons for the current map, usually the gauntlet and machine gun. Players also drop the weapon they were using when killed, which other players can then pick up.

the original Quake III comes with five gameplay modes; Free for All (FFA), a classic deathmatch, where each player competes against the rest for the highest score, Team Deathmatch (TDM), where usually two teams of four compete for the highest team frag total, Tournament (1v1), a deathmatch between two players, usually ending after a set time, Extreme 24-Hour Tag, a classic deathmatch with a twist, the Objective is now playing "tag" with various punishment Weapons and kill many "24-Hour Tag Survivors" as possible., and Capture the Flag, which is played on symmetrical maps where teams have to recover the enemy flag from the opponents' base while retaining their own.

Quake III was specifically designed for multiplayer. The game allows players whose computers are connected by a network or to the internet, to play against each other in real time, and incorporates a handicap system. It employs a client–server model, requiring all players' clients to connect to a server. Quake III's focus on multiplayer gameplay spawned a lively community, similar to QuakeWorld, that is active to this day.

Game Mode in Quake III[edit]

  • Deathmatch (DM)

This is a simple mode, With only 6 players fighting to get 25 frags and win.

  • Extreme 24-Hour Tag

Extreme 24-Hour Tag is basically just like you average Deathmatch with a twist. the Objective is now playing "tag" with various punishment Weapons and kill many "24-Hour Tag Survivors" as possible. With 2-32 players this is a favoured game mode. First Players to reach the frag limit wins.

  • Team Deathmatch (TDM)

Team Deathmatch is basically just like you average Deathmatch with a twist. You must now fight along side you long ago enemies to win. With 4-12 players this is a favoured game mode. First Team to reach the frag limit wins.

  • Capture The Flag (CTF)

Now this mode is the first objective game. Two flags, Red and Blue, lie in each base. you and your team have to run beat defenders and steal their flag. Then you have to bring back to you base. Whilst this is happening you have to also defend you flag from prying enemy hands.

Game Mode in Quake III 2.0[edit]

  • One-Flag CTF

Collect the flag in the middle of the map and return it to the enemy base without being killed.

  • Harvester

Objective is to collect skulls in the middle of the map that are generated when a member of the opposite team dies. Once skulls are collected you must take them to the enemy base to score. If you are killed you lose all skulls.

  • Overload

Objective is to destroy the other teams skull-adorned obelisk. The skull has a total of 2500 health and regenerates 1 health per second.

  • Team Deathmatch: Extreme 24-Hour Tag

TDM: Extreme 24-Hour Tag is basically just like you average TDM with a twist. the Objective is now playing "tag" along side teammate with various punishment Weapons and kill many "24-Hour Tag Survivors" as possible. With 4-64 players this is a favoured game mode. First Team to reach the frag limit wins.

Characters[edit]

The playable characters in bold have already appeared in previous entries in the Quake series, or in id Software's sister franchise, Doom.

Tier 0[edit]

Tier 1[edit]

  • Crash Bandicoot
  • Doomguy
  • Alucard
  • Annoying Grunt
  • Bunny People
  • Ratchet & Clank

Tier 2[edit]

Tier 3[edit]

Tier 4[edit]

  • The Bride
  • Solid Snake
  • Ranger
  • Tim Mcgraw
  • Soki
  • Barret Wallace

Tier 5[edit]

Tier 6[edit]

Tier 7[edit]

Development[edit]

Quake III Require "Very High Power" Graphics Card Such as Rapeon 9800 Pro from ATI Technologies to run Quake III in 1600x1200 with 8X Antialiasing and 16X Anisotropic Filtering Enable at Over 60 FPS
Quake III: Rocket Edition including "ScrewROM 4.X with SHTC-DRM Technology (ScrewROM 4.X:Pocky-Girls) to run Quake III: Rocket Edition "Properly" and "Legally!!!!!"

During early March 1999, FDA leaked the hardware internal vendor (HIV) copy of the game. This was a functional version of the engine with a textured level and working guns. The HIV contained most of the weapons (excepting the Pencil Guns) that would make it into the final game although most were not fully modeled; a chainsaw and grappling hook were also in the HIV but did not make it into the final release. Many of the sounds that would make it into the final release were also included.

After the HIV leak, id Software released a beta of the game called Quake III April Test on April 24, 1999. The Q3Test started with version 1.05 and included three levels that would be included in the final release: dm7, dm17, and q3tourney2. Id Software continued to update Q3Test up until version 1.09.

id co-founder and former technical director John Carmack has stated that Quake III is his favourite game he has worked on too.

Game engine[edit]

The id Tech 3 engine is the name given to the engine that was developed for Quake III. Unlike most other games released at the time, Quake III Arena requires an OpenGL-compliant graphics accelerator to run. Making The game does not include a Direct3D or software renderer!!!!!! Yippee Ki Yay, motherfucker!!!!!!!.

The graphic technology of the game is based tightly around a "shader" system where the appearance of many surfaces can be defined in text files referred to as "shader scripts." Quake 3 also introduced spline-based curved surfaces in addition to planar volumes, which are responsible for many of the surfaces present within the game. Quake 3 also provided support for models animated using vertex animation with attachment tags (known as the .md3 format), allowing models to maintain separate torso and leg animations and hold weapons. Quake 3 is one of the first games where the third-person model is able to look up and down and around as the head, torso and legs are separate. Other visual features include volumetric fog, mirrors, portals, decals, and wave-form vertex distortion.

For networking, id Tech 3 uses a "Nerf Blasters Assault Gun-snapshot" system to relay information about game "frames" to the client over UDP. The server attempts to omit as much information as possible about each frame, relaying only differences from the last frame the client confirmed as received (Delta encoding). id Tech 3 uses a virtual machine to control object behavior on the server, effects and prediction on the client and the user interface. This presents many advantages as mod authors do not need to worry about crashing the entire game with bad code, clients could show more advanced effects and game menus than was possible in Quake II and the user interface for mods was entirely customizable. Unless operations which require a specific endianness are used, a QVM file will run the same on any platform supported by Quake III. The engine also contains bytecode compilers for the x86 and PowerPC architectures, executing QVM instructions via an interpreter.

Quake III also features an advanced AI with five difficulty levels which can accommodate both a beginner and an advanced player, though they usually do not pose a challenge to high-tier or competitive players. Each bot has its own, often humorous, 'personality', expressed as scripted lines that are triggered to simulate real player chat. If the player types certain phrases, the bots may respond: for example, typing "You fuck me" might cause a bot to reply "You should have go fuck youself 3 hours ago!". Each bot has a number of alternative lines to reduce the repetition of bot chatter. The Gladiator bots from Quake II were ported to Quake III and incorporated into the game by their creator - Jan Paul van Waveren, aka Mr. Elusive. Bot chat lines were written by R. A. Salvatore, Seven Swords and Steve Winter. Otaku, the hardest opponent in the game, was based on the Gladiator bot Zero. The bot Hunter appears later on magazine covers in Doom 3.

On August 19, 2005, id Software released the complete source code for Quake III under the GNU General Public License, as they have for most of their prior engines. As before, the engine, but not the content such as textures and models, was released, so that anyone who wishes to build the game from source will still need an original copy of the game to play it as intended.

Mods[edit]

Like its predecessors, Quake and Quake II, Quake III can be heavily modified, allowing the engine to be used for many different games. Mods range from small gameplay adjustments like Rocket Battleground 3 and Got Chocolate Milk? Productions to total conversions such as Smoking' Guns, Kill Bill, and Loki's Revenge. The source code's release has allowed total conversion mods such as Tremulous, World of Pacman, OpenArena Battleground, and Jackass Warfare to evolve into free standalone games. Other mods like Weapons Factory Arena have moved to more modern commercial engines. Challenge ProMode Arena became the primary competitive mod for Quake III since the CPL announced CPMA as its basis for competition. CPMA includes alternative gameplays, including air-control, rebalanced weapons, instant weapon switching, and additional jumping techniques.

Anti-Piracy Technology[edit]

To combat "Video piracy" id Software has started adding DRM software to Quake III: Rocket Edition CDs which it sells, with "ScrewROM 4.X with SHTC-DRM Technology (ScrewROM 4.X:Pocky-Girls)" Anti-Piracy Technology. Making The game including a Built-in Sony Backdoor™ technology!!!!!! it's a Sony-Cassette, motherfucker!!!!!!!

Expansion[edit]

An expansion pack titled Quake III: Battleground was released on December 18, 2000 in North America, January 15, 2001 in Japan and January 26, 2001 in Europe. The expansion focused on team-based gameplay through new game modes, as well as the addition of three new weapons (the Chaingun, Nailgun, and Prox Launcher), and new items and player models. Quake III:Battleground was criticized, as its additions were long overdue and had already been implemented by fan modifications. Quake III: Rocket Edition was later released on September 26, 2001 in North America, March 29, 2002 in Japan and August 9, 2002 in Europe, including the original Quake III: The Hardcore FPS With Instant Messaging and the Quake III:Battleground expansion pack bundled together, enhancing performance for The Intel Pentium 4 Processor With Dual-Channel RDRAM install on your PC, along with a more mission-based single-player mode From Quake III Revolution. Foo Fighters made the soundtrack for the expansion, the counterpart to Sonic the Hedgehog's Quake III: Suck to be you.

Ports[edit]

Official[edit]

Quake III: The Hardcore FPS With Instant Messaging was released for the Dreamcast (ported by also Texas-based Raster Productions and released by Sega) as Quake III for Dreamcast in 2000 and featured 4 player online play versus Dreamcast and PC gamers. It is often considered one of the best PC to console ports of its time due to its smooth frame rate, Seganet online play, and fast loading times. There are still communities that play this version online on the remaining dedicated servers running patch 1.16x (It's Thinking) and the required map pack.

The "Quake III Revolution" was widely criticized for Lacks of Mouse support, not included Online Mode, and having Fucking long Fuck You loading times so why Some Infant-Gamer are Wimpering on his PS2 (or maybe Original Model of PS1?)
A rare photo of the id Software HQ at Dallas in February 2001 (at the time Quake III Revolution for the PlayStation 2 and Quake III: Rocket Edition for PC was finishing, and Doom 3 was first shown to the public in Japan by Steve Jobs). The picture and the camera was found in a very dark forest, and the photographer was found two week later. He murder by Jun Matsumoto.

Later id Software along with United Kingdom-Based Bullfrog, The British Armed Forces, NATO, The United States Government, and CIA co-developed Quake III Revolution for the PlayStation 2 and Quake III: Rocket Edition for PC in 2001, (released by Electronic Arts in North America and Squaresoft in Japan) This two game-developed team was lead by Jun Matsumoto The Japan Famous X-treme Programmers, Japan Famous idol, and Japan Famous Pedophilia featuring several elements adopted from Quake III:Battleground, along with a more mission-based single-player mode. It features split-screen multiplayer for up to 4 players(with PS2 Multitap), as well as the Id Software new animated logo called "The Laboratory"[1], but lacks mouse support. It also lacks online play, as the PS2's network adapter was not released outside of Japan until 2004. Gameprankings rated the release at 83%. The PlayStation 2 version was widely criticized for having Fucking long Fuck You loading times (which typically averaged over a minute compare to the Dreamcast version)

Quake III: Battleground was revealed in an ESRB listing for the Xbox 360. The title was developed by Texas Bomberman. Quake III for the 360 was officially announced by id at QuakeCon 2K7. The title, jointly developed by id and Texas Bomberman, was released on Xbox Live Arkade on December 15, 2010. The retail price of the game was set at 1200 Microsuck Points, or $15 USD. Quake III for the Nintendo DS was announced at QuakeCon on August 4, 2007. John Carmack announced the game and said that touch screen controls would not be implemented as much as in Metroid Prime Hunters, for example. He stated that he would like all shooting in the game to be controlled with the D-pad instead of the Touch Screen. Quake Zero was announced at QuakeCon on August 3, 2007 and will be an updated version of Quake III, distributed by free download, run in a browser window and supported by built-in advertising content. On February 20, 2008 id announced that Quake Zero would be launched as Quake Live. Quake Live was released in 2010.

Source ports[edit]

Quake III Arena has been unofficially ported to several consoles, including the PSP and Original XBox console. These versions require a modified console or handheld and the assets to the game to go along with the source port.

Carmack has said that Quake Trilogy (including The Hardcore FPS With Instant Messaging) will be ported on the iPhone/iPod Touch/iPad. An unofficial version for iOS was released through Cedia for jailbroken iOS devices in April 2008; it is a demo version similar to the original except that it integrates the iPhone and iPod Touch's accelerometer and touch controls to make gameplay possible. A high-definition version for iPad was released in November 2010, featuring re-created controls, sharper graphics, better gameplay, and better framerate; this improved version was also integrated into the iPhone and iPod touch version of the port.

A Intel Moorestown prototype version was demonstrated on a reference design that demonstrated performance of up to 90 frames per second. An unofficial port of Quake III for Symbian mobile devices was made. It requires PAK files from original game to run. An unofficial port of the game to Android was created based on the released source code. This means the game can be run on several Android powered devices at the time.

In August 2011, the ARM-based Golden Raspberry Pi credit card-sized computer was shown running a specially compiled ARM version of Quake III on Debian.

Reception[edit]

Sales[edit]

Quake III's sales surpassed 50,000 copies during its first three days of release, by which time 1 million copies had been printed. It debuted at #5 on PC Gamer's weekly computer game sales chart for the December 5-11 period. The game rank up to fourth place in the weekly top 10 the following week.

In North America, Quake III sold 168,309 copies and earned $7.65 million from January through October 2000, according to PC Gamer. Its overall sales in the region, including its launch in 1999, totaled 319,970 units by November 2000. Its sales for 2000 alone ultimately reached 190,950 units and $8.4 million by the end of the year.

Critical reception[edit]

Reviews for the game were very and Extremely positive, with many describing the game as fast and addictive. Curved surfaces were a welcome addition to the series. Most reviewers felt the game was best when played with others online. A GameSpot review by Jeff Gerstmann described the game as outstanding. He noted the fun level designs, great-looking textures, impressive special effects and weapons sounds. but Gerstmann criticised the narrator's voice and thought that some levels could become too crowded when playing multiplayer. An IGN review felt the game lacked originality but enjoyed the detailed wall textures and outer space jump levels. The high number of character skins and the artificial intelligence of opponent bots were praised but the weapons were said to be "bland and predictable". A Eurogamer review described the game as "polished" and "stunning" and thought that it "was extremely well balanced and plays very well". The reviewer was especially pleased with the customisable 3D engine and looked forward to new maps and mods.

Quake III won PC Gamer US's 1999 "Special Achievement in Graphics" award, and wrote that it "set a new high-water mark in 3D graphics this year." The game was a finalist for the 1999 "FPS Game of the Year" award, which ultimately went to Counter-Strike.

Quake III's multiplayer-focused development led to it developing a large community of competitive players and like its predecessors it was used extensively in professional electronic sports tournaments. In competitive Quake III Arena there are two distinct gameplays, often referred to as 'rulesets', the out-of-the-box Quake III game, also known as vanilla Quake 3 (VQ3), and the CPM ruleset of the Challenge Pro Mode Arena mod. On July 26, 2006, Challenge Pro Mode Arena with VQ3 gameplay was chosen by CPL as the mod of choice for their tournament, making it the standard competitive mod for Quake III. Previously, Orange Smoothie was the most widely used tournament mod.

The following competitions have held Quake III events:

These competitions have now moved on to more recent games such as Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare or have transitioned to its variant successor, Quake Live.

Quake III: The Hardcore FPS With Instant Messaging Commercial[edit]

Original Quake III: The Hardcore FPS With Instant Messaging Commercial[edit]

Narrator 1:Fuck you, Infogrames!

Narrator 2:If you're dumb enough to Buying PC game this weekend

Narrator 1:you're a big enough schmutz to playing Quake III: The Hardcore FPS With Instant Messaging

Narrator 1:Batman! and James Bond!!

Narrator 2:Noob!!!

Narrator 1:If you think that you're gonna buy The Legend of Zelda

Narrator 2:you can kiss Enjo Kosai Face!

Narrator 1:It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherfucker

Narrator 2:you'll fall for this bullshit!

Narrator 1:Guaranteed!

Narrator 2:If you find a less bloodlust

Narrator 1:Playing Mega Man X4!!

Narrator 2:You heard us right

Narrator 1:Playing Mega Man X4!!!

Narrator 2:Bring your trade

Narrator 1:bring your title

Narrator 2:bring your Teammate!

Narrator 1:You found Doomguy!

Narrator 2:That's Right! You found Doomguy!

Narrator 1:Because Quake III

Narrator 2:you're frag six way to Sunday!

Narrator 1:Coming to Video Game Store Near you

Narrator 2:December 2, 1999!

Narrator 1:Difference From Quake 2!

Narrator 2:That's right

Narrator 1:Really Difference!

Narrator 2:Supplements including

Narrator 1:Behind-the-Scenes; Trailers for Se7en, Pulp Fiction, Goldeneye, Jurassic Park, Wayne's World, Austin Powers, Men in Black, Reservoir Dogs, Yatterman

Narrator 2:and a 3 year Supply of Maximum PC and PC Gamer US for Free!!!!

Narrator 1:Don't wait

Narrator 2:don't delay

Narrator 1:Don't fuck with us, or we'll rip your nuts off!

Narrator 2:Only Quake III

Narrator 1:The only FPS game that tells you to fuck off!

Narrator 2:Hurry up, asshole!

Narrator 1:This Commercial ends the minute after you write us a check

Narrator 2:and it better not bounce or you're a dead motherfucker!

Narrator 1:Go to hell!

Narrator 2:Quake III: The Hardcore FPS With Instant Messaging

Narrator 1:a John Carmack Masterpiece That won PC Gamer US's 1999 "Special Achievement in Graphics" award

Narrator 2:and the id Software Sequel of The sons of a bitches Quake 2

Narrator 1:Guaranteed!

Quake III: Battleground Commercial[edit]

Hey, do you wanna feel the Quad Damage!? Try Quake III: Battleground. the FPS for people who need gratuitous amounts of Quad Damage.

With all new Characters like Kevin "The Lotte Ghana Milk Chockolate" Spacey. Spacey Quad Damage, it’s like adding Spacey to an electrical storm. Sound the alarm, you’re gonna be uncomfortably Quad Damaged.

What’s that? You want Crash Bandicoot? Well how about Crash "Rawberry" Bandicoot? Made with lightning, real lightning. Sports (aaahhhhhh!).

You’ll be good at them. It’s an FPS for men. Quad Damage. These aren’t your dad’s puns, these are Quad Damage puns. Turbopuns.

Science, Quad Damage, science, Quad Damage, supercharged, turbocharged, powercharged, more lights than your PC has room for.

You’ll be so fast, mother nature will be like, Sloooooowwww dooowwwwnn. And you’ll be like, Fuck you! and kick her in the face with your energy legs.

You’ll have so much Quad Damage, Quad Damage (aaaahhhhh!) just running all the time.

Quad running, Quad lifting, Quad sweeping, Quad dating, Quad eating, Quad laughing, Quad Damage spawning babies. You’ll have so many babies. 400 babies.

Give Chockolate Guns to your babies and they’ll be good at sports. Make your babies run abnormally fast.

They’ll run as fast as Kenyans. People will watch them running and think they’re Kenyans.

They’ll race as fast as Kenyans, in a race with actual Kenyans, and it’ll be a tie, and they’ll get deported back to Kenya.

Hey, go with the sure thing. Don’t gamble on your old Quad Damage (snake eyes!).

Try Quake III: Battleground, the FPS that will make you (aaahhh!) sports (aaahhh!).

Quake III: Battleground (Rocket Edition) Commercial[edit]

[Reads: Your thirst shall be quenched]

What are you waiting for?!

What if everything you ever wanted came in a one CD-ROM? Quake III: Battleground. Rocket Edition!

With all new Characters like Ratchet and Clank! Tidus. And Yakuza Girl! You’ve had the worst, don't try the Unreal Tournament 2K3…quencher.

Quake III: Battleground. Side effects include glowing sweat. Use your sweaty body to fuel sweet rave parties. Quake III: Battleground. Anything is now possible.

Bear-blasting, the sport you’ll invent because you’ll be too energetic for normal sports. You’ll feel like a fighter jet made of biceps.

What about me and my blue collar? Bruce Springsteen. Turn that everyman into a QuadDamnitman. QuadDam stands for Quad Damage!

We interrupt this advertisement to blow your mind! Quake III: Battleground now comes with Kool-Aid Man! Now with preposterous amounts of testosterone.

Preposterone! Think fast douche-fag. Quake III: Battleground now comes with Zebraman. Hump-catting. Similar to bear-blasting.

Oh Lord, why have you forsaken me?

Can it. When God gives you lemons, you find a new God. The Witcher…Gerald, The King of the Poland.

Unacceptable. play Quake III: Battleground and you’ll win at everything forever. You’ll win at Video Arcade, football, arson, weddings, and art! You’ll even win at irony! Top score.

Still unconvinced? Well check out these testimonials from real Power Thirst drinkers.

400 babies.

Quake III: Battleground. It’s really ahhhhhh! Aaahhhh!

Alright! Quake III: Battleground, it’s like Machine Guns in you head. Machine Guns in you head. Quake III: Battleground is Machine Guns.

Warning:may contain Scene from Ikebukuro West Gate Park (IWGP).

Quake III: Rocket Edition Commercial[edit]

Narrator 1:Fuck you, Clint Eastwood!

Narrator 2:If you're dumb enough to upgrade you PC this weekend

Narrator 1:you're a big enough schmutz to playing Quake III: Rocket Edition

Narrator 1:Memento! Kingdom Hearts!!

Narrator 2:Noob!!!

Narrator 1:If you think that you're gonna buy Final Fantasy X

Narrator 2:you can kiss Enjo Kosai Face!

Narrator 1:It's our belief that you're such a stupid motherfucker

Narrator 2:you'll fall for this bullshit!

Narrator 1:Guaranteed!

Narrator 2:If you find a more bloodlust

Narrator 1:Playing Grand Theft Auto III!!

Narrator 2:You heard us right

Narrator 1:Playing Grand Theft Auto III!!!

Narrator 2:Bring your trade

Narrator 1:bring your title

Narrator 2:bring your Teammate!

Narrator 1:You found Doomguy!

Narrator 2:That's Right! You found Doomguy!

Narrator 1:Because Quake III: Rocket Edition

Narrator 2:you're frag sixty-four way to Sunday!

Narrator 1:Coming to Video Game Store Near you

Narrator 2:December 2, 2003!

Narrator 1:Difference From Unreal Tournament 2K4!

Narrator 2:That's right

Narrator 1:Really Difference!

Narrator 2:Supplements including

Narrator 1:3.2 Ghz Pentium 4 Extreme Edition Processor, Radeon 9800XT, Sound Blaster Audigy 2 ZS, Pioneer DVD Burner, DVD version of Spirited Away, American Beauty, Mission: Impossible 2, Titanic, Se7en, Pulp Fiction, Goldeneye, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Tower, Jurassic Park, Wayne's World, Austin Powers, Men in Black, Home Alone I and II, Reservoir Dogs, The File of Young Kindaichi Season 3 and Murder on the Magic Express Special, and Mad TV Season 1-7 DVD

Narrator 2:a 3 year Supply of Maximum PC and PC Gamer US for Free, and 25% Discount for The Hottest FPS game of 2003, Call of Duty!!!!

Narrator 1:Don't wait

Narrator 2:don't delay

Narrator 1:Don't fuck with us, or we'll rip your nuts off!

Narrator 2:Only Quake III: Rocket Edition

Narrator 1:The only FPS game that tells you to fuck off!

Narrator 2:Hurry up, asshole!

Narrator 1:This Commercial ends the minute after you write us a check

Narrator 2:and it better not bounce or you're a dead motherfucker!

Narrator 1:Go to hell!

Narrator 2:Quake III: Rocket Edition

Narrator 1:a John Carmack Masterpiece That won PC Gamer US's 1999 "Special Achievement in Graphics" award

Narrator 2:and now on sale at $2999 USD

Narrator 1:Guaranteed!

Footnotes[edit]

  1. this animated logo also seen on the Console version of Return to Castle Wolfenstein, as well as Doom 3 and Quake 4

See also[edit]

  Sick In The Head!!! SICK SICK SICK!
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