Portable Network Graphics

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As you read this message, Uncyclopedia editors are hard at work at tracking down an unbiased opinion somewhere in the mountains of Basingrad. Please see the irrelevant discussion on the talk page.


For the uncouth among us who choose lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about PNG.
I'm going to fucking bury that format, I've done it before, and I will do that again. I'm going to fucking make PNG lose all significance on the Web so we shouldn't bother properly implementing it.

Steve Ballmer on PNG

PNG (ROT13 for "cat", a popular Unix utility) is a recursive acronym for PNG's Not Graphics. Therefore, you should never ever under any circumstances use PNG for graphics. There are much cooler formats, such as JPEG, and of course BMP's. Also, don't bother saving JPEGs in Photoshop. Use MS Paint.

Use JPEG for everything, especially text and line art. Consider these examples:


It is obvious that JPEG adds cool antialiasing and gray background. Another example: File:H0lyDMCAlol.JPG.

Arguments for not using PNG[edit | edit source]

  • Nobody knows about it.
  • No Animation, so the format is absolutely useless as you cannot use it for banner ads.
  • It's used on Wikipedia. Yes, that parody of Uncyclopedia. Why should the great Uncyclopedia use it?
  • It's an unstable "free" format so you're doomed if you use PNG, as the FSF will retaliate with a DMCA lawsuit! Also, it only supports (mostly) 32-bit alpha transparency, and GIF (created as a proprietary format, so you know it's serious) supports supports 256 colors plus a transparent one.
  • PNG is too limited to be rendered in Internet Explorer. So if you see the PNG above, you are not using Internet Explorer, you are using Mozilla Firefox disguised as Internet Explorer 7. Or maybe the Flying Spaghetti Monster makes you believe you see it.
  • Because of the Transparency Bug, PNG can't display nude imagery. Computer Hackers thus refer to the format as "persona non grata", because of occurrences of - for example - Jimmy Wales PNGs amongst finr pr0n JPEGs. See Horror, Hoax.
  • PNG is not supported in Uruguay

Arguments for using PNG[edit | edit source]

PNG can do lots of things.
  • It's excellent for digital photographs and full color graphics on the web, as the visual quality will increase tremendously at the cost of only about 500%...1000% increase in file size and subsequent bandwidth use over JPEG files.
  • The lossless nature of PNG is absolutely necessary in the modern use of the internet; you cannot allow vital information like pictures of cats degrade over time as people re-use the files to add silly texts to them.
  • The gamma and color corrections totally work! See: [[1]]
  • It's, like, amazing, and, definitely, better than all the other formats.
  • It only works in great browsers!
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Serious Business
File Formats: HTML - SGML  Image files: PNG - SVG