User talk:Mordillo/archive20

Forum German uncyclopedia

Hi Mordillo, For the moment, I left a statement here -- Zyniker 18:10, July 29, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Zyniker, thanks - I've responded there. ~ 11:39, August 2, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Mordillo, don't worry about the comments in the forum mentioned above, I think my colleagues want to be funny and not nasty but due to the language barrier it might not always hit the right chord. (On the other hand, when I read the discussions in the village dump here it seems to me that most of them tend to degenerate quickly too to smart remarks of all sorts) Anyway, on the whole it seems to me that there was a sort of a misunderstanding. Most of us seem to have thought that the whole discussion is about linking German uncyclopedia with Stupidedia, which most of us oppose (not me), while linking English Uncyclopedia with Stupidedia is a thing we do not care so much about whether it happens or not. Strictly speaking, the correct thing to do now would be to start over and to open the complete discussion again, this time about the right thing. Of course this will take time. If you say now that you've had enough of the crap and don't care any longer what the Germans say, we couldn't really complain. NaturalBornKieler (talk) 18:04, August 2, 2010 (UTC)

No that's fine, as long as we get a clear answer by the end of the day. And the dump does tend to deteriorate pretty fast. I only thought that with you guys it would be Alles in Ordnung :) ~ 20:21, August 2, 2010 (UTC)

Haha, I don't think we deserve this sort of high opinion. On the other hand, we do think that we're better than the Stupis so we should try to meet our own standards. Anyway, I'll give the whole vote a new start and then we'll see. NaturalBornKieler (talk) 18:58, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks. I was particularly mystified by Howdy's response...~ 19:17, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

So basically

I've found a solution we can all agree upon. Am I right or what? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 14:17, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

I conform to two out of the three reasons you mention there. I'll let you guess which ones. ~ 14:23, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

QFA

Wouldn't I Was Almost The President: An Autobiography By John McCain count as a QFA, because it got a score of 5 when the featured article got a 10?--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Tuesday, 07:31, June 01 2010 UTC

The featured article was 12 (Gay whales @ Darfur). ~ 19:50, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, I thought it was the current featured one. Carry on then. Oh, and hanks for following my orders. Are you my slave now?--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Tuesday, 08:15, June 01 2010 UTC

If by "slave" you mean "the man who will stick pointy sticks where the sun doesn't shine" then, yes. ~ 20:51, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

Pointy sticks? I think I'll take you up on that one.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Tuesday, 09:50, June 01 2010 UTC

I think the only plausible response to that would be "dicks lol". ~ 22:13, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

Justin Bieber

User:Loquacious T made an article about him called Justine Bieber. But since you protected the original title, could you redirect Justin Bieber to the former? —Pelozurian (talk) 22:06, 1 June 2010 (UTC)

Done. ~ 22:13, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

Oh. Actually, I meant redirect "Justin Bieber" to "Justine Bieber" since the joke in the article is that he's a girl. —Pelozurian (talk) 22:15, 1 June 2010 (UTC)

Ah. ~ 22:25, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks! —Pelozurian (talk) 23:45, 1 June 2010 (UTC)

There's a complication. There's currently an article on PLS about Justin Bieber which is here. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:13, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

When the PLS is over we can move both into slightly different names and create a disambig page. ~ 21:10, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

Ah, you think you have all the answers. Admittedly, in this case you do, but that doesn't mean you have them all! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  00:06, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Porn actor allegedly kills 1, hurts 2 with steel dildo

Master! Hail to thee! I have a stupid problem. I tried to save a UnNews story named UnNews:Porn actor allegedly kills 1, hurts 2 with steel dildo and it would not let me save - it (spam filter, adult content deal). So I changed the name to UnNews:Fluffer allegedly kills 1, hurts 2 with steel toy and it saved. I thought I did right. Then I noticed it had the old name that had got rejected!? So I checked history and no one did anything. So I checked the new name, and now there are two article – same – with different names. I prefer the name I thought was rejected: UnNews:Porn actor allegedly kills 1, hurts 2 with steel dildo but the other one needs to be deleted, or vise versa. Thanks a million. Much appreciated. Cheers!--Funnybony    19:33, Jun 2

Done. The spam filter typically kicks in not because of an article name but because of a link you've placed in the article. ~ 21:11, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

Important stuff

I did this thing and you broke it, blah blah blah, should you have done that thing you did? Haven't I done enough to placate you today? You aren't the king of Uncyclopedia, blah blah, feature queue, blah blah, why haven't you closed the awards yet? YOU HUFFED MY ARTICLE! Mordilloz sux cocks. I was actually making that vandals one liner into a much more protracted and dull one liner, blah blah blah. FIX IT!

This is your talk page in summary. You're very welcome. --ChiefjusticePS3 21:19, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

I shall tattoo this on my sons bottom. As soon as he stops pooping that is. ~ 21:26, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but as to your son stopping pooping? It will never happen. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:28, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

Don't forget "HELPME makes useless posts here because he is bored and you are by far the best and most interesting person in history"--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Wednesday, 09:32, June 02 2010 UTC

yeah, i guess,

someone did it to me years ago and i thought it was humorous. i guess humor changes. boy am i hungry. --Snafu 03:00, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

A turn up for the books

So I went into my nearest supermarket where they don't have a kosher section due to there being very few Jewish people round here and where they don't stock much Israeli stuff because they're crap yesterday and discovered they'd received a delivery of kosher stuff intended for another one of their stores by mistake and were flogging it off cheap.

I now have four enormous bags of Osem sesame pretzels, one plastic bottle full of those delicious fish-shaped croutons, three bags of Israeli couscous and 3kg matzah meal - all for under £4. Excellent! :-D Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:48, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

It's 1.30am and I've been drinking scotch, but someone just told me this fantastic joke

Moishe Cohen has been visiting his family in Israel. On his way back to Golders Green, he lands at Heathrow in desperate need of the lavatory.

As he stands relieving himself at the urinal, he becomes aware that the man next to him is looking his way.

"Shalom aleichem," he says, "I see I've met a fellow Jew."

"Aleichem shalom," says Moishe. "That's right."

"And I see also that your parents were members of Beth Avraham shul."

Moishe is certain he's never met the stranger before. "Oy vey," he says, "How on earth did you know that?"

"Well," says the stranger, "Rabbi Goldstein is the only mohel I know who circumcises at an angle - and you're pissing in my shoe."

What did you do to my page?

Why does it say it's locked?! TOAST 06:47, June 9, 2010 (UTC)

As it is on the front page now and those articles tend to get vandalized, it's protected against editing from non registered (or new) users. The protection is valid for three days. You shouldn't have a problem editing it unless you tried it without logging in. ~ 17:14, June 9, 2010 (UTC)

more

Bitch you didn't replace the more link in the featured article queue. Fortunately, unlike Obama, as well as cussing you out for the deepwater horizon event I also fix the problem -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 00:38, June 13, 2010 (UTC)

Blame the baby, he's the spawn of satan! ~ 19:16, June 13, 2010 (UTC)

Template: Gamma287

Hey, I saw that you deleted my template. I was trying to see how to make it a proper one like, so say {{inserttemplatenamehere}}. Can you help with that?

--Gamma287 19:38, June 13, 2010 (UTC)

P.S. If you do make it a temp., please make its name {{Gamma287}}

I've left a note on your talk page. Did you see it? The formatting was fine, but the whole idea of the template was something we don't really allow. ~ 20:36, June 13, 2010 (UTC)

Ok, I understand.

--Gamma287 04:17, June 14, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you

If I wasn't so cold and dead inside, I'd love you. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 06:06, June 15, 2010 (UTC)

So that smell is coming from you?! ~ 07:42, June 15, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, that's mine. I'm not ashamed of it. It keeps the mosquitoes away. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 17:06, June 15, 2010 (UTC)

It's a travesty, if you ask me. Perfect for Uncyc. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:27, June 16, 2010 (UTC)

Lovely

I love what you did with the main page. Does that make me an idiot? Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:26, June 16, 2010 (UTC)

Of course you are. You're a blooming idiot and we like you just because of that reason. ~ 16:19, June 16, 2010 (UTC)

I see you more of a buffoon, rather than an idiot. Are you looking for an upgrade? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Bloody Kite

THANK YOU for voting on Hello there! I'm a kite, and I will ruin your day! You are the BEST! I will kill you. What? I didn't say anything.User:Mrthejazz/sig 02:14, June 18, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Mordillo

Are you actually a fan of the artist or did you just like the name? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 10:06, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

Also, when do you think it'd be good to announce UN:CW? I'm trying to refrain from telling everyone about it because I don't want anybody to start rewriting anything ahead of time, but I also don't want everyone to go completely unaware of it. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 10:22, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

Fan of the man's works. Great artist. When is the CW planned? ~ 10:59, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

Well, July 5th is when it starts. As usual it goes for two weeks, so it should end at 0:00 July 19th. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 14:07, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

I think a two weeks heads up should probably enough. I'll put a site notice a week before (drop a hammer on me if I forget, my head isn't plugged in properly lately). ~ 22:37, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

/me drops hammer. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 14:38, June 28, 2010 (UTC)

Is it a week already? I'll put up a notice after the Wed extravaganza is over, so we don't flood the place with site notices. ~ 14:40, June 28, 2010 (UTC)

Mkay. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 14:53, June 28, 2010 (UTC)

A git Shabbos

Shabbat shalom! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:07, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

A gitte shabas! How is everything? ~ 10:59, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

Not too bad - just came back from a short holiday on the English south coast. How about you and the family? All well? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:04, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

Don't say family, makes me feel old :). All is well, I even get bit more sleep these days and the kid already chants "BAN! BAN! BAN!". Well, maybe it's "agogoafoaofoainifoanaadada" and that's what I end up hearing. ~ 22:39, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

Don't know if they do things differently in your part of the continent (I know they do in Scandinavia) but over here, it's father's day - so happy father's day, you old git! --UU - natter 07:56, Jun 21

I totally missed this message and I'm totally sorry! Happy pappy day! </Miami style>. How did your day pass? ~ 20:10, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

Went OK actually - had a dirty great mixed grill for free thanks to a special offer. See - there are advantages! Our little lady is now very keen on standing. Obviously she can't do this unaided, but she will no longer sit in my lap, she wants to be held while she stands instead and looks hugely pleased with herself. How's things with you? Getting more smiles and good stuff? --UU - natter 20:27, Jun 22

More smiles for sure along with the odd crisis but he is starting to behave himself little by little. He's becoming quite the big baby now, about 6KG (which is ?!?#@!? in stones.) ~ 05:00, June 23, 2010 (UTC)

I was apparently 4.5KG at birth. I grew like a weed afterwards. My mom told me that the doctor was an idiot and decided she could "rough it", so she didn't get a C-section until they realized I couldn't have come out. Needless to say, that was a very painful delivery. I was causing trouble before I was even born.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Wednesday, 05:08, June 23 2010 UTC

6kg is 24.5 stone. You want to keep him away from the teiglach! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:09, June 27, 2010 (UTC)

I think you got your math wrong, it's 0.98 stone. 24.5 stone is about 150KG! ~ 20:18, June 27, 2010 (UTC)

Willfully wrong, I'm pleased to say (being well versed in the metric system as Imperial is so blatantly crap in comparison) - the proletariat women (as I've taken to calling them) around here have started accusing one another of having fat babies as a way of insulting one another, and such is the idiocy of so doing that I've decided to adopt the same habit myself. Atkins Diet baby food will undoubtedly be in the shops by Autumn. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:05, June 28, 2010 (UTC)

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY MORDILLO!!!

Now go out there and change some diapers. —Pelozurian (talk) 19:20, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

Thank you! I shall go and change some right now. ~ 05:00, June 23, 2010 (UTC)

'Scuse me

30 articles on VFH right at the moment - time to declare Martial Law again? I'd do it myself, but I forget how you do it. I forget lots of things. I blame Orian - safest way. --UU - natter 12:59, Jun 22

I'd declare martial law, but I can't edit the page. It's too protected. But yeah. Only things written by TOAST should be allowed to be nominated. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 13:02, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

*wink* *wink* —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:09, 22 June 2010

Yeah, but I like letting 'dillo throw his weight around. He does so enjoy it. --UU - natter 13:17, Jun 22

There's about three or four noms that are over 10 days old with less than 40% health that can be nuked, plus an article on -4, removing those will get us back into the 20s.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

-4 you say? Last time I looked, it was -2. That's what I get for paying attention to the budget. --UU - natter 13:22, Jun 22

There's also about 5 articles ready to enter the feature queue. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:28, 22 June 2010

Pretty well every time I touch the feature queue, something breaks. Or I assume something breaks. Which is the same thing, really. I only feature things when I really, really have no alternative. Or when it's my article, obviously. Speaking of which, I have nothing up for VFH. Better write something soon, I suppose. --UU - natter 13:30, Jun 22

-3 or under 30% health is when you remove stuff... Also, I could so do that if I was given the rights, but, you know, I don't have the power... MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 13:33, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

There's not much to it, really. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:37, 22 June 2010

I know that I could close noms, but if I can't edit the queue, then I'm not going to close anything. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 13:41, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

Not even your thighs, if the word on the street is to be believed. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

God damn it, I don't look for a couple of hours and VFH went apeshit. I filled up the queue for the next three days and I'll remove some older ones later on. With regards to martial law, typically I'd put it but I was so happy with VFH showing some life signs after a long time I'm postponing that as much as possible.With regards to TOAST, Dex, you'll need to decide which of you gets the credit for the article eh? Just make sure TOAST doesn't vote on top of the rest of you. ~ 15:08, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

Mordy, I'm not TOAST. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:11, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

I didn't say you are. It was more like "deliver the message to the culprits" O_O ~ 15:34, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

Okay. Hey Socky, take credit for this so I don't have to talk to Hype. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 17:47, June 22, 2010 (UTC)

Spam filter

I was on Saberwolf's talk page and the spam filter blocked me. It was because of this link: moduzoperandi DOT mybrute DOT com. So, could you put brute on the thing that stops the spam filter from interfering?--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Thursday, 03:54, June 24 2010 UTC

Also this, make it stop?  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  24 Jun 2010 ~ 04:59 (UTC)

I've added an exception for Mybrute.com, it should work now (you might need to clear your cache first for it to work). Happytimes, I've read the section and I can figure out what the problem is? ~ 06:46, June 24, 2010 (UTC)

Maybe I should just archive my talk page to get rid of the offending spam-filter-blocked-words???  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  29 Jun 2010 ~ 04:31 (UTC)

Maybe you should just tell me what the problem is more clearly? ~ 06:25, June 29, 2010 (UTC)

The UnSignpost Is Not Dead!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With No Ambitions, Goals, Hopes or Dreams!

Jun 24th, 2010 • Issue 86 • Oh yeah, the UnSignpost, I remember that...

Conservation Week Approaches By UU Fancy watering Uncyclopedia's forestry? Want to be a good conservationist? Fancy taking up the rewriting sword of justice, and righteously smiting the dragon of shit writing? Actually, the hell with that, do you want to take a bunch of bad articles, and make them suck less? Then you, my friend, are in luck! Conservation Week 2010 starts on July 5th, and actively encourages users to scour the wiki (perhaps through judicious use of Special:Random, or possibly through exploration of Category:Rewrite or Category:Ideas or even Special:Lonelypages), find lame articles that they consider are taking up the very space which could be occupied by something less sucky, and then using their skill and judgement to turn those articles into shining examples of comedic writing. As this is a competition dedicated to simultaneously reducing the number of useless articles on the wiki and increasing the number of good ones, some naysayers believe it to be completely pointless - Uncyclopedia is the worst, they say, and no amount of well-intentioned competitions can change that. But were it to exist, the Cabal would probably beg to differ. They may call it something like "a genuinely good thing", and "a ray of hope, signalling that occasionally, even the most worthless dreck may be redeemed". So if you think what your userpage is missing is a template called the "Greasy Mechanic Award", then prepare to rewrite like you've never re-written before. Just don't forget to make your new version better than the original. Something summarizing the events of the last month or so By PuppyOnTheRadio It has been said by one of our esteemed administrators here at UnSignpost that if it wasn't reported in the UnSignpost, then it didn't happen. As there has been no UnSignpost produced for the last few days, due to one of the editors having a real life, and another one being lazy, there are several things that didn't happen. Yes, the loss of the UnSignpost for so long sent a shiver down the spines of many an Uncyclopedian. So much so that one member of the community decided that it was timely to look at a new way to produce the UnSignpost. One such idea was to release a monthly periodical in the place of USP. Although there has been several attempts by this reporter to obtain a quote from said insurrectional community member, to date no response has been heard. As part of the ongoing struggle to maintain our independent stance from Wikia, several members decided that it would be a wise idea to create a way to cash in on the popularity of the site. As such the UnShoppe has been created, where you may purchase any one of a number of Uncyclopedia-related pieces of merchandise. So far all purchases have been made by the individuals who created the store. However, if you are looking for the place to buy a shirt that shows that your nipples have been featured, that a wizard did something, whatever it was, and that you have an in-depth knowledge of who Dan Kwon is. There was a competition. Congratulations go to mrthejazz, who got the pun. Imperial Colonisation has taken a brief hiatus after the new head of IC became the old head of IC. He was an Australian, and his example has inspired the entire nation so much that the new head of Parliament for the country is now the old head of parliament. Congratulations go out to the new new head of IC. A strange bandwagon has been created by a drunken Bonner, who has challenged all and sundry to ask him anything at all. As such there are various forums dedicated to asking regular Uncyclopedian members things. These previously were known as user talk pages, but who can stand in the way of progress? And that's all that didn't happen. Although now it's listed in UnSignpost that means it actually did happen. Which suggests that by editing UnSignpost I have the power to change the past. If I could change anything about the past, what would it be? I had sex with a real person!

Check out these pages! Modusoperandipedia? Fuck... Uncle Dex needs ideas for business cards Wait, we seriously have a store now?! From our logs: 06:22, 23 June 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 153.107.33.152 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (and you are the living proof that school kids are idiots) 00:12, 23 June 2010 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked LRC (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (The purpose of redirects is to redirect someone to a page that is related to the original page, not separated by six degrees of bullshit logic. Try again.) 09:52, 21 June 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 153.107.33.158 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Back after your last block and still loving the penis, have a bit longer to think about that) 15:02, June 17, 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 243 seconds (I hear the UnSignpost may be returning, so I'd better make sure I put up at least one decent ban this week so I can get in it!) 05:38, June 17, 2010 PantsMacKenzie (Talk | contribs) blocked 76.109.125.137 (Talk) with an expiry time of a million years ‎ (multiple vandalizations of keitei) Old-School Featured Article of the Week UnMysteries:J'accuse Thank you all for meeting me in the Accusing Parlor tonight. If you're wondering what "j'accuse" means, and why I ran screaming it through the whole house, it means "I accuse" in French, and it's what people say when they accuse people of murder. I trust you know why we're all here. After I was mysteriously invited to this party, and after people started mysteriously dying, I decided to put my internet degrees in Criminology, and Criminography, to good use. But to accuse people of homicide, I have to start at the beginning. International Sporting Tournament of the Week The Swedish Orienteering And Firing A Rat From A Cannon Championships. The World Cup? What's that? Missed anniversary of the week Some time in the last month or so, the UnSignpost completely failed to celebrate its second anniversary. Hey ho. Two years of missed deadlines, desperate filler boxes, flimsy biopics, hand-deliveries and pale imitations of journalism - is it even worth mentioning? Probably not. Reason to leave Uncyclopedia #347 The standard of desperate filler boxes in the UnSignpost remains as low as ever. Oh look - a monkey!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

A new UnSignpost issue, another template spammed onto your talkpage, enjoy! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:03, 24 June 2010

UOTM

Can I remove that mini-drama from the page, please? I'm worried someone will see that and respond to it and turn this into an actual problem. It doesn't really serve a purpose, anyway.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Thursday, 07:37, June 24 2010 UTC

I'm either getting old, stupid or both but I don't see any drama over there. Has my drama senses gone dull? ~ 13:08, June 25, 2010 (UTC)

Hey. He just wants to remove me. That's all. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 13:12, June 25, 2010 (UTC)

Eh, never mind. If you can't even see it, I guess no one will really care to start a war over it. Also, I heard Dexter is a sock of Drama.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Friday, 06:32, June 25 2010 UTC

No, he's the spawn of Satan. ~ 22:09, June 25, 2010 (UTC)

Feechur queue

I tried to do the one for tomorrow. Did I do it right? --ChiefjusticePS3 22:11, June 25, 2010 (UTC)

Yep, you now took the last shred of my imagined grandeur away. Congratulations. *sob* --~ 22:14, June 25, 2010 (UTC)

Don't worry, I won't do it again, my blood pressure cannot take the strain. --ChiefjusticePS3 22:23, June 25, 2010 (UTC)

I hear you. First time I featured something I just wanted Spang to hug me. ~ 22:31, June 25, 2010 (UTC)

Chief waits for his hug --ChiefjusticePS3 22:32, June 25, 2010 (UTC)

*hugs Chief and Mordillo* --UU - natter 08:11, Jun 28

U niggaz iz gay. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 17:21, June 28, 2010 (UTC)

*hugs Dex* --UU - natter 19:41, Jun 28

;)

Woah! You've been to Poland and you haven't been robbed there!? You are a lucky guy, you are!

Recently, during the flood, several German rescuers have been robbed when they were building flood banks :p

Sir Ptok-Bentoniczny^{Pisz tutaj} • KUN 17:16, June 28, 2010 (UTC)

It was for work so we had Polish hosts which took good care of us. I had a pretty good Borscht. ~ 19:00, June 28, 2010 (UTC)

Lock on AVGN

Hey, Mordillo. Can I ask you to put a lock on editing The Angry Video Game Nerd, so that only registered users can edit it. It get's swamped with too many unregistered edits who mistaken Uncyclopedia for wikipedia and cluttering it up with "actual" information. ---Maniac1075^{Complain Here} 11:34, June 29, 2010 (UTC)

I would be happy to but some idiot did that already. ~ 11:57, June 29, 2010 (UTC)

hehe :) ---Maniac1075^{Complain Here} 12:08, June 29, 2010 (UTC)

I have a question

What is wrong with double redirects? Every time I move something it said s you will get in trouble for a double redirect.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 20:24, June 30, 2010 (UTC)

They are undesirable because the wiki software does not allow you to follow more than one redirect automatically, so a user is simply forwarded to a link they must click to get to the article, thus defeating the whole point of redirecting to save time in the first place. Also, they are very itchy to wear. --ChiefjusticePS3 20:32, June 30, 2010 (UTC)

I hear they smell too. We used to have a serious issue with them in the past and we got tired of cleaning after people which is why it became a bannable offense. Typically if you're careful with your moves it shouldn't be a problem. Also, this is not my talk page. wait... ~ 20:36, June 30, 2010 (UTC)

Also also, like Mordillo, they're a waste of server space.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Wednesday, 08:37, June 30 2010 UTC

Ok I see. But what if someone did it by accident--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 20:38, June 30, 2010 (UTC)

That's how they always do it.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Wednesday, 08:41, June 30 2010 UTC

You can always check special:DoubleRedirects to make sure you didn't create any and if you did, list them at QVFD. ~ 20:42, June 30, 2010 (UTC)

I fixed a double redirect today. Can I have a cookie?--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Wednesday, 08:44, June 30 2010 UTC

Mordillo, IRC nao! Also shall we use a separate VFD space for the writing contest like they did last time (VFD/contest)? It would save the trouble of moving the other entries. --ChiefjusticePS3 20:46, June 30, 2010 (UTC)

Gimme a few minutes I'll log in. HELPME, you can get a space cookie. --~ 20:48, June 30, 2010 (UTC)

I want a cookie--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 21:00, June 30, 2010 (UTC)

All the news that's unfit to print!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Proudly supporting editorial independence whenever the board say it's okay

Jul 1st, 2010 • Issue 87 • More news than something with less news than us

Things getting boring on the wiki? Time to write at speed! By UU Dullness. Boredom. Shit not going down. That's the place Uncyc found itself recently. And we needed a spark. An idea. Something out of leftfield to galvanise the troops, plaster stupid smiles on faces across the wiki, and inspire joy unconfined in the community. We're still waiting for that, but until it arrives, Skull's hour-long writing contest will do nicely. Shamelessly pinching Cajek's idea of time-limited writing competitions (which brought us such classics as HowTo:Sexually Stimulate an Ant, lest we forget), but putting his own distinct spin on it, Uncyc's own mad Doctor challenged Uncyclopedians to write an article in a single hour that would survive VFD. Given Uncyclopedia's well-known exacting quality standards, this promised to be a tough task, but a surprising number of people were up for it. And so it was that a frenzy erupted across the wiki, and baffled Europeans and other users not around at the time awoke the next day to a slew of brand new articles, not all of which ended up being deleted. They liked the idea so much, they held their own a couple of days later. When asked to comment on his brainchild, the commotion and excitement it had caused, and the size of his penis, Dr. Skullthumper exclusively told us "Sure. I'll get on that. I swear". Things getting boring on the wiki? Time to start pointless drama! By An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Giant evil multinational wiki-hosting conglomerate Wikia won a major victory last month, when a rebellion by a small but dedicated band of anti-capitalist radicals was brutally put down by a bunch of fascistic Wikia-collaborators. Or at least, that's what happened in the heads of Carlb, Roye7777777 and CartoonistHenning after they nailed their anti-Wikia manifesto to the metaphorical door of Uncyclopedia's metaphorical Wittenberg Cathedral. The 1,000-word anti-Wikia tract, despite the shocking and previously unknown revelation that Wikia was not in fact the wiki-hosting charity that it claimed to be, but rather a commercial company, failed to ignite a spontaneous revolt against Wikia among the Uncyclopedia community. A heated and sexually-charge discussion ensued, with strong arguments offered by both sides. However, it seems that some people were unable to grasp the enormity of the revelation that Wikia's motives were less than altruistic. Eventually, the thread descended into an all-out flamewar and a waaaaaaaaaaaaaahmbulance was called to treat the injured. "We may have lost this round," Carlb told UnSignpost reporters "but it is only a temporary setback. One day, the tyranny of Wikia will be no more. Our revenge will be the laughter of our children." It is rumoured that Carlb, Roye7777777 and CartoonistHenning will employ Black Bloc tactics at the next Wikia conference in an attempt to escalate the struggle against Wikia oppression.

Check out these pages! Tell me about your mother Fantasy (American) Football is back! (Oh yeah - I went there) Open the podcast bay doors, Skull... From our logs: 09:07, 30 June 2010 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Ahmedatefa (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (don't do that....or I shall have to spank you) 20:31, 27 June 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked SadisticWolf (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10 minutes ‎ (I don't "rape" I "cockify". There's a difference. ) 16:01, 25 June 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Dexter111344 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 500 seconds ‎ (I'm not a poor version of Oli, I'm a mediocre and far more irritating version) Biopic of the Week What can be said about Ethine? Well, she's been lurking IRC since about December 2006 and only made an account after being forced to by emc. She has been sexually harassed by long forgotten users and by ones you only wish you could forget. She recently took up the job of fighting vandals, reverting idiots, and trying to get new users flogged. For some reason, this was enough to get her the Uncyclopedian of the Month award. Or it could have just been because of her hands. Her young, sexy, oh-so-soft hands... By the way, she actually likes talking to you freaks over Skype. Go talk to her. Ask her about her open invitation to everyone to come to her house. You won't even have to bring your own rope, either. Old-school featured article of the week Hi, my name is David Cameron and I'm the Prime Minister of The United Kingdom. You can call me Dave if you wish, not that I'm trying to tell you what to do. "David" is fine. My mother calls me David and she's a lovely woman, so either way it's cool. This is my own personal uncyclopedia article. I've created this, because I feel that in this modern age of ipods and nanos, it is important to connect with young people and do it in the medium and language that they understand, L.O.L.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticePS3 12:07, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

CW site notice reminder

I'd do it myself, but you know... Goaste... MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:34, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

Starts on the 5th? ~ 16:09, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

Yep. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 16:37, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

Judge For Nastiest Meanest Thing to Say Contest

Hey man, I need a judge for this, I would do it myself but I already enter myself in the contest. Thanks--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 16:56, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

Is this because I'm a big meany? ~ 18:40, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

Don't deny your title, Mister Mordillo. Just because it was given to you by horrified and insulted vandals doesn't make it any less valid.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Thursday, 07:09, July 01 2010 UTC

I am not a vandal, HELPME! MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:32, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

Nah, I choose you becauseyor just as good as UU (and because he's a big softy, no offense UU)--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 19:34, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

Dexter, you blank award pages, QVFD, and BP. You call it "archiving". Pfft.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Friday, 02:03, July 02 2010 UTC

AS GOOD?!? GOD DAMN IT SON, YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO IMPRESS PEOPLE. Anyway, what do I need to do? ~ 07:15, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

The man just pays you the greatest compliment you'll ever receive in your life and you go allcaps on his ass? A spot of gratitude wouldn't have gone amiss... --UU - natter 08:13, Jul 2

I'm sorry? I can't hear you, you seem to be covered in baby poo. ~ 11:41, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

Read over what people put done under the Say it under here section (in Aleister's case, under the Ok section.) and decided who said the better nastiest meanest thing. Once you made the descesion, you can announce the winner and award him with a shiny template (I'm still working on it though). If you cna't decide, we'll have a vote who has the better words. I would do it myself, but I entered myself in it and being the person I am I would choose myself as the winner. Besides, admins like you are better at doing those type of things. Link here--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 21:00, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

The judging is due tomorrow right? ~ 20:18, July 3, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, are you busy?--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 21:03, July 3, 2010 (UTC)

hello

That article I wrote that one time is featured, but I can't help but notice that the sample paragraph on the front page only shows the serious start to the article? I was wondering if it were possible to at least add the following "but we're British - thank god" line or something. --nachlader 01:58, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

Done. ~ 07:17, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks! --nachlader 12:44, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

UOTM

Thanks for voting for me on UOTM. I didn't win, but the fact that I got a decent amount of votes means a lot to me. It's good to know that you guys actually think someone like me is useful. So, yeah.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 03:46, July 03 2010 UTC

I have no idea what you're talking about. I just used the opportunity to look at your ass. ~ 20:19, July 3, 2010 (UTC)

Don't lie to me. You just wanted a look before you banned it. Big meanie. Well, this is just too good for you. You can watch it swinging as I leave, though.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 11:10, July 03 2010 UTC

A problem.

Hey, this is Saberwolf116. For some reason, Uncyclopedia keeps me from editing certain pages. I can't edit VFD because it says MrN9000 has blocked my IP address (64.12.116.210, which is not my IP address) under the charge "Returning banned user.", but I can access other pages just fine (this is a problem, since I meant to nominate Herodotus for VFD and now I can't put the nomination on the page). Help please? 64.12.116.5 17:57, July 4, 2010 (UTC)

I can't find anything in the block log. Next time it happens, can you get me your block ID? It's in the block message. ~ 19:49, July 4, 2010 (UTC)

From what I picked up while lurking on IRC earlier, Hiatus Hernia has been experiencing similar problems - but Sannse was unable to find anything amiss. Might be worth mentioning it to her, Sabrewolf. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:56, July 4, 2010 (UTC)

I brought this up with sannse after it happened to me a while ago. I guess the problem came back back.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Sunday, 11:13, July 04 2010 UTC

My talk page...

...is actually rather dull, but there's something there for you. Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 21:59, Jul 5 2010 UTC

Thanks, a bit too late as I went to bed in a reasonable hour last night and I heard that the front page was borked for a while. It's always a fun time! ~ 12:46, July 6, 2010 (UTC)

</Snappy and interesting header title>

I tend to do vandalism fighting whenever I come across it on recent changes. I was wondering if I could possibly be given the power to revert edits (since going through one by one is silly and troublesome). Muchas gracias -- Sir SF13 (Talk) GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 20:23 EST 5 July, 2010

I'll be honest, I looked over your contribs all the way to May and haven't seen any revert :) ~ 12:46, July 6, 2010 (UTC)

Today's feature

I noticed theres no link to the featured article from the front page. Could you perhaps put the link under the picture of the book or something? —Pelozurian (talk) 03:04, 6 July 2010 (UTC)

I think that's fixed now. ~ 12:46, July 6, 2010 (UTC)

Happened again.

Hey, Saberwolf again. The problem that I mentioned above happened another time, and the block ID is 42539. 64.12.116.5 15:43, July 7, 2010 (UTC)

OK, that's certainly a bug since I don't see an active ban under this ID. I'll forward that to sannse so she can ask the wikia tech wizs to investigate. ~ 16:09, July 7, 2010 (UTC)

Hey, so I don't think this is related to HH's problem (he gets a blank page on saving, and it looks like it may be a problem his end). Saberwolf, please can you cut and paste the full ban notice, and send it to us via Special:Contact (add my name, so I get the ticket). Please also include a link to the page you saw the notice on, and let me know if you were logged in or out at the time. That should help me track it down. Thanks -- sannse (talk) 17:33, July 7, 2010 (UTC)

Alright; next time it happens, i'll be sure to send the link. Saberwolf116 20:26, July 7, 2010 (UTC)

HH is a girl. I can't believe Sannse called another girl a boy.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Wednesday, 08:29, July 07 2010 UTC

WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

need help

the pic worked in preview but it can't get it to show up on saved article here do you have any ideas. I'm learning this as i go along and it doesn't like me today.  ~  The*  (say shit) (My train wrecks) Π   ~  16:12, July 7, 2010 (UTC)

I think you did everything right, the server seems to be a slow tonight. Probably will be resolved in the next couple of hours. ~ 16:51, July 7, 2010 (UTC)

thank you i wasn't sure i down sized it 3 times.  ~  The*  (say shit) (My train wrecks) Π   ~  22:28, July 7, 2010 (UTC)

Mind invalidating a couple of VFH votes?

I just feel that people who came here to vandalise shouldn't be given voting privileges. Don't you agree? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 23:53, July 7, 2010 (UTC)

Fuck it. I invalidated his one actual vote and reverted his two other edits. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 17:45, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

Next time if you ask a question, wait for the answer, I'm not here 24/7. Also, don't invalidate votes, that's what the cabal is for. ~ 18:04, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah well, Oli and Skully told me to go ahead and do it. They also told me that you were looking for a babysitter. I have nothing to do this weekend except a 12 hour walk, but I could cancel that so you and the mister can go out. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:00, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

That's exactly what I need, I'll come back home and the baby swears in English, spits chewing tobacco and masturbates, all in parallel. ~ 20:04, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

You forgot the Oxford comma after "tobacco." Just saying. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:07, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

That's a complex sentence you don't need a comma. Now go get me some tobacco, Dexter Joe. ~ 20:09, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

HOW DARE YOU, SIR! I have been called many a thing in my life but never has someone stooped so low as to call me... "Joe." May a curse be placed upon you! MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:13, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

Banning Ozymandiaz

I think one month was perhaps a bit excessive. I understand he's tried evading bans before and isn't very cordial, but how about something like a one-week ban and I'll suck him for the remaining three weeks? --EMC ^[TALK] 19:31 Jul 8 2010

How about no? The guy has a history that you're apparently not aware of. Look at his ban log. ~ 19:54, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

Ok, how about a 5-day ban then? --EMC ^[TALK] 20:17 Jul 8 2010

You should ban Nate. Who does he think he is A FUCKING ADMIN? -- lazy Ape (deconstruct) (Riot Porn) 20:21, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

Alright, 3-day ban. That's my final offer. --EMC ^[TALK] 20:24 Jul 8 2010

No, this is not up for discussion. TBH, I don't see what's the sudden interest with a user that has never contributed anything to Uncyclopedia but trouble, unless it's yet another sock. Do I need to ask for a checkuser? ~ 20:25, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

I would never use a sockpuppet account. --EMC ^[TALK] 20:30 Jul 8 2010

This isn't some fucking Moroccan carpet sales stall, where merchants and customers haggle over the price of carpets that aren't even magic. -- lazy Ape (deconstruct) (Riot Porn) 20:28, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

But they are fucking magic. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:30, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

Allright you lot, clear off. EMC, take Dexter Joe here to the pub, he needs someone to tell him it's allright to be called Joe. Ape, go demonstrate against the G20 or something. ~ 20:33, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

Ape got served. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:35, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

"This is what a police state wiki looks like!" -- lazy Ape (deconstruct) (Riot Porn) 20:38, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

One-day ban. That's the best I can do for you today. --EMC ^[TALK] 20:36 Jul 8 2010

Face it...

...the IP has got you cold. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:23, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

Well, I AM a smelly poo. ~ 20:28, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

Obviously. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 20:31, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

Wait...

Your kid is the spawn of Satan. And I'm the spawn of Satan. Are you my big daddy? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:39, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

Restoration request

Hi,

Could you help me restore this article about the Treaty of Waitangi?

Because I was the author of that article and have decided that the article deserves to exist on Unencyclopedia.

Thanks. --Brendan.p 23:20, July 8, 2010 (UTC)

I've restored it and put a {{WIP}} tag on it to give you time to work on it, as it currently stands it's not really that good. Put some more effort into it (and make sure it doesn't turn into an anti-Maori article yes?) ~ 07:53, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

Sure. I am neither pro-Pakeha (ie.European) nor pro-Maori, I am merely trying to write it in a way which both sides were thinking at that point in time.

I will finish the Maori version of the Treaty. --Brendan.p 02:19, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

What do you think about this article now? I have made sure that the Maori interpretations of that Treaty have also been included. --Brendan.p 03:09, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

Is it me or this is the actual treaty? ~ 16:14, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

Something Dickbag This Way Comes

Ban evasion? HAH! I'm not even sure what it means and I think it's hilarious.

I've had another inspiration from Ozy, an UnBook "Something Dickbag This Way Comes".

My 10 year old grand daughter used the Serbian variance reverse "Reductio ad Hitlerum" in an argument with me last week, and she won. She tutors Logic Thursdays, shall I have her give you a ring? Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:49, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

Ban evasion? I've been infi banned from my first day here, and have evaded the authorities ever since. Gotta go grab my shotgun, I hear some rustling at the back door. Probably just the raccoons again (good eatin') but you can never be sure. Aleister 1:21 9 7 MMX

And I have an army of sockpuppet accounts just waiting to be unleashed in the case of a ban longer than about 10 minutes. I'm always prepared for the worst; yet another reason why I should be promoted to sysop immediately. —Pelozurian (talk) 04:15, 9 July 2010 (UTC)

I used to have a dick bag, but I tore it. pillow talk 05:13, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

Wait, you missed the most important part of the conversation - Zim? Ten year old granddaughter?! ~ 07:53, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I is an dirty old bastid. I don't say things like "dickbag" in front of her, as hilarious as the thought is to me. Pity the girl's mother, my daughter-in-law. She knows I am subtly making the cute little darling bat fuck insane. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 18:38, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

Signpost: normal service resumed

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

May contain traces of humor!

Jul 8th, 2010 • Issue 88 • Hand-stitched for comfort

Conservation week: how's it going, and what is it anyway? By Under user The 6th bi-annual Conservation Week is now in full swing, and once again bugging people by lasting for a fortnight. So far there are around 12 rewriters signed up (depending on if Joe9320 is serious about pulling out because he got reverted) to rewrite getting on for 30 or so articles. That's a fair old commitment to improvement. But then, that's kind of the idea, isn't it? Conservation week has been running since autumn 2007, starting life in Jocke Pirat's userspace, and spending a confused few hours being called the rewrite-a-thon in an early attempt to get around the whole week-fortnight thing. The first iteration was a resounding success, and about 38 people signed up to rewrite over 50 articles (with Zombiebaron hilariously missing the point and going on a deletion spree instead), making the current iteration look like it has some work to do. However, there was no quality control at the outset - if an article was rewritten in any way, that was deemed good enough. Some of those early articles may well have been made worse, we just don't know (or can't be bothered to check). Quality control arrived later on, when erstwhile gentleman editor of this very organ Gerrycheevers stepped up to run the first 2009 CW, and ran the rule over all the rewrites personally, so that the attendant award was only bestowed on those doing quality rewrites. That task this year falls to Dexter111344, who has promised to be "harsh but harsh". Probably. So, with a prize on offer to the person with the most high quality rewrites, and plenty of time left in which to do said rewrites, the only question left is: "why haven't you entered yet"? We asked this question of one completely random user, and he exclusively told us "because I'm busy writing this week's issue of the UnSignpost, duh!" Image Request: A Retrospective By UU Time to focus on a sometimes-overlooked corner of Uncyclopedia: UN:PIC, otherwise known as Image Request or Radical X's corner. Named for the once and forever king of image manipulation on Uncyclopedia, the near-mythical RadicalX, this page has been responsible for some truly memorable Uncyc images over the years. And some of Pokémon characters superimposed on the crucifixion - hey, whatever floats your boat. Established in March 2005 by a user called Machinecurse, this page has been the domain of most of the legends of Uncyc image manipulation at one time or another - as one 'chopper has left, another has arisen to take their place, in some kind of Potatochop Royal Succession stylee. Or something. Whatever, the likes of Paulgb, Zombiebaron, Seeker, Sonje and, more recently, KneeChee27 and MeepStarLives have slaved over hot image editing software to fulfil the esoteric image requirements of the Uncyclopedia populace. The response time has always varied on the page, as it largely depends on how active the 'choppers are at the time, how achievable the requests actually are, and how polite the request is. But for those with a little patience, it is undoubtedly a useful resource in the ongoing quest for that perfect image of Mario and Master Chief riding Pikachu down the Death Star Trench run. Or something. Have a look at the gallery to see some of the more recent work.

Check out these pages! Yes, it's fucking political... I, er, won't survive? Everyone's a winner baby From our logs: 03:03, 5 July 2010 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Skinfan13 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Paradox block for breaking a rule on an award with no rules) 21:47, 4 July 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Aidan2613 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (The revolution is dead. God save the queen) 18:15, 2 July 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.154.122.248 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (I hope the next 48 hours pass as swiftly and painlessly for you as the hundred years war) Biopic of the Week In North Vancouver, born and raised, at city fundraisers and bake sales are where he spent most of his days... Some of you may or may not remember Shandon, nicknamed "Doughboy" by the electorate in Vancouver after his notorious political scandal which nearly erupted Canadia into anarchy. This is unlike his nickname on Uncyclopedia, "Doughperson", which is based on Shandon's gender neutral writing style and gender neutral username having led many to believe that Shandon has no gender. He recently moved to America, and after doing so was named "Worst Canadian Export", a title he took from Bryan Adams but recently lost to Justin Bieber (Shandon's only chance of reclaiming the title is Bieber's looming appearance in North Korea which many hope will be the end of him). After becoming the first person to ever pick up a chick from the Uncyclopedia IRC, Shandon is now living the American Dream. So what's the nick all about? Shandon, from Silverlock by John Myers Myers. NOT Shandon from Isle of the Dead by Roger Zelazny (another terrible book). Old-school featured article of the Week A civil war is a form of warfare known for its kindness and civility, in stark contrast to the other tactics such as scorched earth which are entirely too dirty for upstanding gentlemen. Civil warfare is a strategy that has outlasted many minor fads in warfare such as Germany's Blitzkrieg Bop, the British Redcoat's Stand In a Line and Shoot or the French Foreign Legion's Surrender. Its longevity as a tactic can probably be attributed to a few things, namely the incompetence of modern military tacticians compared to those of the past and the universal human need for cordial smiles and small talk, even during battle. The inevitable return of Cajek ban of the week 12:30, 8 July 2010 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day (not returning to Uncyc in a proper and timely fashion)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Oh dear god, am I really doing this again? --UU - natter 10:50, Jul 9

Yet Another Worthless Award

AMAZING FREE GIFT!

As YOU voted for BIBLE! to be featured on the front page,
this FRAMED, VERY RARE and HIGH COLLECTIBLE
JESUS AND LINDSAY LOHAN
issue of the magazine is YOURS TO KEEP!
Generations to come will thank you for this wonderful keepsake.

---

Also, Shabbat shalom. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:25, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

o hai i band ur account

Mordillo, I love that you work really hard for this site, but you really, really need to lighten up.

As I see it, there's two things you need to do.

• Lighten up
• Lighten up
• Seriously, it's not that bad.
• Chat with me. I sometimes hear complaints down the grapevine about you and I kinda wanna know what the dealio is.

One less day on his ban won't have made it any worse, and for what it's worth, if Ape causes you problems again, let me know. He made his case, and from what I can see, there's enough provocation on both sides for neither of you to be right.

Still, I'd like to hear your side of the story. Let me know when a good time is to be on IRC.

Sincerely,
A kinder, gentler --Flammable 12:56, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

That's funny coming from principle Flammable O_O. Look F, I think I'm generally not trigger happy, especially with regular users. However, when you get an onslaught of a troll as we had last night, I expect the normal users to help the admin working to stop that idiot and not try to piss him further, which is exactly what happened last night. Dearest ape, has a history of causing trouble and raising drama while imagining he is a freedom fighter. The one day ban was extended after his email to me. I'm very easy to manage - you say the magic word "please" or you generally behave as a civilized person, you get unbanned. You act as though I owe you something - you get hammered, very easy.

Further than that, I have to say that I'm starting to feel that it's very easy to portray me as the bad guy around while still feeling OK to let me keep doing the work that I do every single day. I haven't written anything in decades because I'm busy with dealing with people like him who feel that because I represent some sort of authority, I'm an obvious target for him. I will not be his or anyone else's punch bag.

Otherwise, with regards to the grapevine, I've received several complaints via email and other means. Unlike other admins, without naming anyone, I respond to each and everyone (unless it's from an obvious troll) - but people tend to feel that it's enough to send accusations rather than dealing with the answers that I provide. I'm happy to discuss anything with everyone - as long as they actually want to discuss rather than throw the blame and then run off, and I think I've proved that several times in the past.

A discussion with you over IRC would be welcomed any day, but I'm not going to discuss Ape's ban. I'm still am (and if I might say) a rather dedicated admin and he is still a trouble maker. He will learn to play nicely or he will not play at all. ~ 14:01, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

I'm with 'Dillo here Flammable - I haven't seen the email referred to, but quite apart from that Ape does seem to have been trying to piss him off recently, and as such can't be surprised with what he gets. I don't think Mordillo is stepping out of line here, and as the guy who does more to try and make people play nicely than anyone else on this site at present, he gets a lot of shit undeservedly flung his way. I wish a few more people would lighten up with regard to him. --UU - natter 14:10, Jul 9

As you are no doubt aware I will ALWAYS try to cut users some slack, especially when they are willing to accept they are totally in the wrong and are willing to polish my otherwise fragile ego. But other than that sometimes you just have to accept that some people are going to have "issues" with you regardless of your intent. You can never please everyone, especially when you are very, very busy and in contact with a lot of people. Everyone has their own agenda in working here, one way or another, and sometimes that causes "personality clashes". The thing to remember is that the main agenda we all have is to make this place teh funny, why can't we all just get along....? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

So, I read Ape's ban reason and I'm all, "Yes! It's time to piss of Flammable!" You know, all excited and stuff. Now I'm bummed out cause he isn't on Skype right now... MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 14:25, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

Did you see what he wrote in his sandbox before Mordillo deleted it? I'd ban pretty much anyone for a day or two for that, and consider it cutting them slack that it wasn't a week. --UU - natter 14:27, Jul 9

Qualifying that: he wrote it after the issue with Mordillo started, so it was pretty clear what his intentions were. --UU - natter 14:29, Jul 9

What happened was that the troll I was dealing with last night (which I'm pretty sure was our old friend Ozy) created that in the first place. I deleted, EMC thought it was a great idea and recreated that and started expanding on that. I deleted and gave him a two hour ban for the effort. Dexter than created that in his userspace, which was deleted and then continued with Ape, at which point I lost my patience. Is this the kind of support you expect from members in good standing to show when I'm trying to stop a vandal? ~ 14:45, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

Not sure about the article in question but if several users thought the contribution was funny enough to recreate and run with then there must have been some funny in there. I don't think them recreating an article shows a lack of support on you dealing with a troll, lets face it some of our most famed articles arose out of silliness, Fisher Price, Euroipods, etc. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Dude, we saw the title and thought, "perfect time to mock Israel for losing to North Korea!" MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 14:52, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

Oh yeah, particularly articles about filthy well-poisoning Jew rat kikes who are considered vermin and have been known to roam as far as The Netherlands, which is what was in Ape's sandbox. That's totally amusing and totally doesn't seem like it's aimed at one person in particular. --UU - natter 14:55, Jul 9

I mean, there's affectionate, tongue in cheek friendly banter, and there's that. --UU - natter 14:56, Jul 9

WTF have I to do to get someone to write something like that about me? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I dunno, get Ape to write you a second biopic for the UnSignpost? --UU - natter 15:00, Jul 9

Hey, can you come into IRC really quick, Mordy? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:10, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

At work, can't access IRC. ~ 15:19, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

Can't use the freenode client or CGI? I need somebody there... MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:23, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

It's a quarter after one. Dexter's a little drunk and he needs you now. pillow talk 18:45, July 9, 2010 (UTC)

That's the second time you've referenced a popular song on Mordillo's talk page while there was drama going, Hype. This is a disturbing pattern.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Saturday, 08:25, July 10 2010 UTC

Well, that's fair enough. at the end of the day, I honestly trust your word over that of most users. And if you say he's pretty bad, I'll believe it. I just want to make sure nothing was taken overly personally or in the wrong vein. I remember having made a few mistakes way back when that I regret now simply because I was a little too caught up in it all at the time. That said, in retrospect, I did overstep my bounds in repealing the ban, and I apologize for it. Like I said, you're a good admin, and I just wanted to make sure that you're not becoming more CRUSHERBOT than human.--Flammable 13:27, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

But that would break the Zeroth Law... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Poopsmithing

Shabbat shalom. Just been talking to HELPME after he noticed a cyberbully the rest of us had missed and reverted a load of the bully's edits. Since he evidently has a talent for this, is around plenty and is a known and trusted user, I'm thinking he'd make rather a good poopsmith - so I mentioned it to him and he's keen. Any thoughts? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:00, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

Give it to the man with our compliments and that dusty dildo you kept in the closet for emergencies. ~ 08:19, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

Good good. I'll do so. How's life, by the way? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:25, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

Frustrating! I'm making malabi tomorrow, you know how difficult it is to find rose water in Amsterdam?! ~ 22:18, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, I love blancmange - have done ever since I was a little kid. Easy to make it without animal products, too. Rose water isn't that easy to come by here either, but it's an absolute necessity for the Tudor marzipan (marchpaine) recipe I use, so I know a few places that usually have it. Thinking of using it in the rugelach come Rosh Hashanah. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:38, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Rose water or Marzipan? ~ 11:52, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Marzipan. I reckon it's be a good mix, and add more of those all important calories that rugelach so lacks. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:49, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

I'm willing to bet Ape could help you find it. You gonna take him up on that offer for a drink? I think you two would really hit it off if he gets you drunk. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:41, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

I'll drink you under the table Mordillo. You don't want to know what happens after that. -- lazy Ape (deconstruct) (Riot Porn) 23:36, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

Pregunta

I contributed to two collabs which were featured, so do I qualify for CUN rank now? Or am I just hallucinating an alternate existence where my presence here actually means something? —Pelozurian (talk) 08:02, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

I'd say so, but if you did it with one of the user groups check it with whoever headed the collab to make sure that you got credit for that. ~ 08:37, July 10, 2010 (UTC)

Alrighty then, gracias senor. —Pelozurian (talk) 08:41, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

Toda!

I assume that's the VFH .js stuff you were talking about? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:11, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Yes! :) Do a hard refresh and you should see it. ~ 16:12, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Yep, gottem. Would have been quicker but was entering a competition to win a carbon fibre time trial bike :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:18, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Credit for What's a nigga got to do?

Want me to give it to him or see if he does it himself? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:47, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

If the man wants the credit he's welcome to take it by himself. Otherwise the sock can keep it. ~ 20:59, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

RE: Templates

Most of the newer ones that I have made are my own spin-offs of matenience (excuse my spelling) templates though. --Asdfftxdn 21:33, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

That's fine, but the maintenance templates have other attributes as well, they place the articles on the appropriate maintenance queues. Otherwise, we really don't need more maintenance templates, so try to write an article instead? ~ 21:35, July 11, 2010 (UTC)

Wow.

I guess the authors of Animal Suicide are lucky I didn't get that vote out forty-five seconds earlier... I've never seen a FA squeak over the line like that before. pillow talk 18:33, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

Pure coincidence, but you did vote after the voting was closed, so I removed it. I'm now going to torment a puppy. ~ 18:43, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

Damn, at first I thought the "ahem" was a hint that Horace had already voted and was stricken, but no, just a late vote. So who is Horus? Tell, tell. This actually may eliminate Hyperbole as a suspect. But, misdirection? Aleister 18:48 12 7 MMX

Can't answer, busy tormenting a puppy. ~ 19:02, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

Try placing it on a radio. They hate that. pillow talk 19:04, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

OMG! HE MADE A PUN! ~ 19:10, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE WE HAVE A USER WHO REFERS TO HIMSELF IN A RELATED FASHION pillow talk 19:16, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

So since the cat has escaped the bag I can plan my revenge for nomming Horus for NotM properly. Aleister 19:18 12 7

Before you do that consider that I know where you live. ~ 19:26, July 12, 2010 (UTC)

You did leave quickly the last time you visited. Was it the cake? The neighbor's kids looking in the window? My hashish wasn't good enough for you? Aleister 2:01 13 7 MMX

? You misled me down the primrose path, as the real Horus has appeared. I did great bodily harm to the wrong person! But elbows heal quickly, don't they? Aleister 16:53 15 7

∞ BC to 1 BC

Hey Mordillo. I rewrote ∞ BC to 1 BC for conservation week, and I put it up on VFD to address any potential concerns. The general consensus seems to be that my version is better, but that some people would like to keep the old one for historic purposes (even if it sucks beyond belief). What do you think I should do with the page? Should we put the old one under ∞ BC to 1 BC/Old, or should I move my rewrite to another page? Saberwolf116 01:48, July 13, 2010 (UTC)

You can probably move it into ∞ BC to 1 BC/Old or /historical, the way we did with Jew back in the day. Good show on rewriting that one, that has been needed from since ∞BC! ~ 05:44, July 13, 2010 (UTC)

Langlang

Saw that you just huffed Langlang, can we leave that up for a few days? The Rolex page which is on VFH is linked to it, as that page was the inspiration for the article and is linked to the comment section. Froggy is also bringing up issues related to the page and its talk page, so that is just laying there now. At least that's the backstory. Aleister 10:02 13 7 MMX

To be honest, I don't really want to keep an obvious advertisement by a spambot alive. I've looked at the VFH page and I don't think the link is that essential for that specific page. Sorry. ~ 12:50, July 13, 2010 (UTC)

Agreed! Keep all obvious ads off Uncy! It's just that the nom has picked up some unexpected drama, which I don't understand because it seems like a fine page to me. I just hope they read it all. And that thing I mentioned, feathers and hats and all, can I go ahead with that? Aleister 00:38 14 7

Trolly trolly troll troll

I assumed the edit could be undone because it was an IP making a comment that not only added nothing to the vote or its discussion, but just said "ignore an admin." It sounded rather trollish to me. --Andorin Kato 23:41, July 13, 2010 (UTC)

First, I'm afraid you don't get to remove comments from vote pages (or any other talk pages for that matter) just because you don't think the content doesn't add to the conversation. Second, look at the contribs of that IP, I have a sneaky suspicion it's Zim being logged out. But anyways, unless it's obvious vandalism, please don't remove comments. ~ 23:44, July 13, 2010 (UTC)

• hangs head in shame* Have I been suitably chastised or is this going to require The Thing? --Andorin Kato 23:46, July 13, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, bring out The Thing. I'll go and warm up the goat milk. ~ 23:47, July 13, 2010 (UTC)

Btw, Andorin, if you read that post again, it was Zimulator while not being signed in. ~ 12:42, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry for any confusion or fuss I may have caused. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 18:46, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

Re: Oi!

Hullo! I probably won't be back for more than 1.5 months since I have to start reading physics in the fall, but for the moment, yes, I am somewhat back. Although I might change my mind seeing what great things have occurred due to my absence (says the self-centred egoist in me)— Sir MacMania GUN—[12:39 15 Jul 2010]

By the way, yes, the cake is a lie. Portal on— Sir MacMania GUN—[12:39 15 Jul 2010]

Well, good to see you anyhow :) ~ 12:41, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

Archive

Hi, your honorableness! WOW! I hope this is not the best day of my life, but it's pretty fine. I need to thank the voters. Where can I find the archive of the Post Apocalypse voting? Yeah, I'm, basically, stupid. I did look around, and wound up with my head up me arse. Please, kind sir. Much thanks. Cheers--Funnybony    13:16, Jul 15

Here you go mister arse man. ~ 14:33, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

Poopsmith

'Ey Dillo! I was just talking to Rabbi about what were the reqs to become a poopsmith and whether or not I fit them. He said he thought it was fine it I became a poopsmith, and for me to take it up with you. So what do you say? I'll give you some pork! Saberwolf116 16:14, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

Hya, more or less what the Rabbi said. You're definitely poopsmith material (that sounds extremely bad) but as we just appointed HELPME for one and we actually got two active and one semi active (Sycamore) I don't think we need anymore at this time. As soon as any of them drown in poop you'll be in the short list. ~ 18:15, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

Sounds fine to me. I guess i'll get back to cleaning the urinals. Saberwolf116 18:27, July 15, 2010 (UTC)

Re one of your Top 10 of 2009 votes from January 2010

Dear Mr/Ms Mordillo/archive20, Greetings. I am the lawyer for Arthur C. Clarke's estate. Last summer, following the listing of an article on this website (henceforth referred to as "Uncyclopedia"), namely the article titled 2001: A Space Odyssey, as a featured article, I and my assistant began to prepare a copyright infringement suit against you, and were about to file it in December 2009 when both of us were attacked violently by the user MacMania, who was imprisoned for his central role in this infringement, but had apparently escaped custody to exact revenge against us. Needless to say, MacMania was once again taken into custody, but we lapsed into a comatose state. However, now that we have woken up, we have found out, much to our chagrin and dismay, that you have further encouraged such infringing actions by selecting 2001: A Space Odyssey as the number 2 article of 2009, and that England once again failed to make the World Cup final. We must, of course, take further action, and would like to notify you that unless Uncyclopedia's administrators take action, we will press the following charges: 1. continued support, encouragement, and flaunting of copyright infringement; 2. indirectly causing severe physical harm to me and my assistant; 3. potentially providing shelter to Paul the Octopus, whose psychic powers clearly drastically demoralized the English national football team against the German team, which is an unspeakably criminal act. We will drop these charges only if you agree to furnish us with a Paul the Octopus voodoo doll* for our perusal. Please let us know if this is possible. Your obedient servant (strictly in a figurative sense) James Steel c/o Alesha Phillips London EC4M 7EH UK * Must be complete with voodoo boiling water, voodoo olive oil, voodoo knife and voodoo fork.

Better late than never, or at least that's the thought. (Sorry about the length of this, by the way.) Horribly belated thanks for voting 2001: A Space Odyssey into #2 of 2009! Sir MacMania GUN—[01:47 16 Jul 2010]

Another UnSignpost! Rejoice!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

You'd be crazy not to listen!

Jul 15th, 2010 • Issue 89 • Made with 100% recycled vuvuzelas

The 40+ club expands By UU Once, many years ago, having 40 featured articles seemed an untouchable goal - a mystical, far-off land that none would ever reach. These days, it seems almost passé, as Mhaille has joined Modusoperandi in that territory, and Hyperbole (counting works by his various drunken sockpuppets) is half a feature away from becoming the fastest person yet to reach that magical figure. We asked them all for quotes, and Mhaille exclusively told us: ""Go eat more shit, fuckers"...obviously I am excited to have reached the BIG 4-0, and am delighted that enough of my peers deem the quality of my work good enough to have reached that figure, although I have to say I'm a little pissed that at least 10 other of my articles are feature-worthy and are constant overlooked (lengthy bans will ensue, I'm sure), I am equally as proud of my featured images, as well as many of my other contributions that I hope that my peers feel have augmented the work of others. That I am still here after five long years, and still contributing says something about Uncyclopedia itself. What that is, I wouldn't like to speculate. But sometimes you have to in order to accumulate. Apparently." Which is such a long quote we're going to need at least one blatant filler box in the right-hand panel. Bastard. Meanwhile, Modus exclusively told us "It's not that myself and Mhaille have written so very many great and fantastic pages that have, and will continue to, entertain the people for years to come. It's just that Mhaille did. "I" am one of his many sockpuppets. He writes as "Modusoperandi" when he needs a page without a "foreign" accent. Look around. There are a bunch more Mhaille sockpuppets here, too. Hyperbole, for one. Mhaille is like a wet Mogwai." Which is more concise, and therefore OK. Finally, Hype exclusively commented: "I'd like to say thank you to Uncyclopedia for voting to feature my many excellent, high-quality articles, including the drunken insistence that you accept a diseased poodle, the song about having sex with sporting goods, and the blatantly racist tirade about having to wait too long for a Pee Review. Writing 39.5 features has been literally the most important accomplishment I will ever have in my life. I look forward to continuing to service each and every one of you in the future." Which was nice of him. So, the burning question now has to be: who will be first to 50? Modus obviously has the lead, but Mhaille is writing in greater volume than he has for some time, and if Hype keeps up the pace, he's probably a good bet. But they're not the only candidates - Sog is coming up the rails rapidly, and could reach the 40 mark even quicker than Hype - could he overtake the lot of them? The only thing certain is that with these guys around, Uncyc should be assured of some half-decent articles amongst the dross. World Cup over - Romartus struggling for UnNews inspiration By UU The climax to the World Cup may have been a little ugly, unsatisfying and under-whelming (hmm, sounds familiar somehow), but it raises a question so far not addressed by the mainstream media, namely "what is Romartus going to write UnNewses about now?" The scourge of Junior Uncyclopedia has discovered his muse in the planet's biggest sporting event, and has been cranking out UnNews articles on the subject at an alarming rate. Now, without Jabulani balls, biting tackles and Messi long shots to inspire him, what is there to inspire him to maintain such prolific standards? Suspicions abound that the Tour De France is passing him by, he seems far too English to care about the various draft and transfer shenanigans in the NFL and NBA and the like, and as the only story to emerge from golf's Open Championship so far is Tiger Woods changing his putter (wow, someone hold me back), that seems unlikely to unleash his inner news-hound. With a worrying lack of global sporting tournaments on the horizon, will we have to wait another 4 years for the next Romartus article splurge? Stay tuned to UnNews to find out!

Check out these pages! Please not Stephenie Meyer, Please not Stephenie Meyer... Lazy journalism. Which is something we never indulge in Kicking on with another bandwagon From our logs: 23:47, 14 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.8.150.140 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (Oh, shut up for about half a year, will you? Thanks, dear.) 15:47, 13 July 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) resurrected Under user (Talk | contribs) ‎ (a song originally written for Celine Dion? Have you no standards?) 14:47, 13 July 2010 Flammable (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 294 seconds ‎ (CUZ I MISS U BABY AND I DUN WANNA MISS A THING.) 14:39, 13 July 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Don't want to cloooose my eyes, don't want to faaaaaall asleep.) 06:18, 13 July 2010 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Keeh69 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (I block with the power of a thousand vuvuzelas) 19:16, 12 July 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 77.164.176.221 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (you can't even spell "racistic" properly it's "RASISTICS") 01:01, 12 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.68.108.4 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Only because I can't appoint you an admin.) Biopic of the Week Fnoodle was the UnSignpost's first ever paperbot, something we could frankly do with more of. One of the many creations of fiendish evil genius Dr. Skullthumper, it also managed to singlehandedly upset approximately two-thirds of the wiki by running a huge spellcheck operation, maliciously changing "teh" to "the" on every single page - which seemed to put an awful lot of panties in a bunch, judging by teh number of complaints on Skull's talk page in the aftermath. Old-school featured article of the week The Adventures of Baron Ringpiece were composed as a series of short tales, published between 1840 and 1848 by William “Wacky” Thackeray, better known for Vanity Fair Magazine, and his novels Penispenispenis and The Virginans, and details the life and adventures of Redman Barry O'Malley. Thackeray always considered the work to be unfinished, and had intended to add several more chapters, turning the tale from one where the hero works towards success to one where he gains his dreams only to lose them. Cajek ban of the Week 10:04, 9 July 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day (account creation disabled) ‎ (I really don't do this as often as I should)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

—Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 09:56, 16 July 2010

Yo yo yo

Can you pop into the IRC sometime today? I need to discuss something with you (nothing bad or dramatic. Last time was the last time. And I mean it this time.) --EMC ^[TALK] 19:50 Jul 17 2010

Sorry, can't make it today. Are you there tomorrow? Otherwise, drop me an email. ~ 23:57, July 17, 2010 (UTC)

Hey there

Hey there, i know your an admin so i just want to tell you someone replaced the pace "100 Worst Laws" with the words "I eat Poo", it's not a registered user, and the paged was originally huffed so there is nothing to change it back to.

I don't think I'm able to delete the page so I'm just telling you. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 03:59, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

Oh and by the way, i really want to discuss this problem about the Grue article. I think you misunderstood what i was trying to say and i would really appreciate it if i could discuss it with you. Thanks --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 03:59, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

But that's the point Mordillo. Memes are random and pointless! Trust me i know. And I'm telling you, i may have an unfair opinion here but the facts about the Canadians in fact are vital to the article. And i didn't write that stuff, it was written along time ago. I understand you may think some things are unrelated to the article, but i have a friend that disagrees and I'm sure many others do...But your an admin so you have a higher power than I. If you don't agree with me, then well i guess it's your call. But look at my name...meme master...i ain't just write that for fun :P --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 15:58, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

Hya, I couldn't find the article, want to give me a link? In general you can leave a message over vandals here so whichever admin is present can deal with it. With regards to Grue, I understood the timeline of what happened and that the changes were made before the rewrite was placed on the article in error. It still doesn't change the fact that I believe the changes were not essential and did not contribute much to the article. ~ 09:43, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

I can explain, Happymonkey and Mordillo. Your article, Worst 100 Laws was deleted because its construction tag's life limit of 7 unedited days expired, hence it was deleted by RabbiTechno, one of our administrators. The article was recreated some time after by an IP with no relation with the words "i eat poo".-- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 09:48, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

No i knew that, i was trying to tell an admin to delete it the one that says I eat poo. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 16:01, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

Let's agree to disagree about Grue, what I've done is retrieve it to its featured version. Let's move to bigger and better things. ~ 17:29, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

Oh. Well, I already did that before. Hooray! -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 21:13, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

TKF, I was disagreeing with the monkey, if you'd like I can find something to disagree about with you. Shall we disagree about your taste in women? ~ 21:26, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

Don't you talk about TKF's Mom like that, man. That's messed up. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:56, July 18, 2010 (UTC)

Would you kill/ban me if i take what i find what shouldn't have been deleted and add it back. It's only a few small things, i wont revert it or anything, but honestly I am one stubborn kid, and i really need to get this thing off my chest. So again would it be OK, to fix a bit of what the article used to have. Only the key points...I AM NOT Revising or rewriting it. P-p-p-p-p-lease. If you want to drop the subject this would be the best way....--Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 02:27, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

If you believe that you've made improvements but an admin disapproves, then save your changes to the article in your namespace and get them pee reviewed before immediately going against changes that have been reverted. I've not seen your alterations, so I cannot judge them, but it's best not to immediately reimplement them if some other admin doesn't see them fit. Make changes in your userspace and get them pee reviewed. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 03:10, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

TKF, ya mind letting me answer the guy? HM - really, drop the issue. ~ 07:29, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

But i really dont want to drop it -_-". And TFK that's not what happened. There was that conservation week thing right, and someone put Grue up for a re-write, so Mordillo says, this is featured, why is it being re-written? So he restores it back to its featured form. But i really like the way it was, so I'm trying to convince Mordillo to change it back. --Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 15:10, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

You are passing the point of having a discussion and running quickly into becoming annoying. Drop it. ~ 15:11, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

ugh....i don't want any trouble...ugh...what to do, what to do...well your an admin so i guess its kind of not fair. Personally in a way think your taking advantage of your admin-ness, but only somewhat. If you think what you did is right, alright, but that's only one man's opinion, that's whats unfair...whatever...i don't wanna be annoying...like i said I'm stubborn and i know it so ill shut up...--Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 17:56, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

Sparta...

I was lookin' at the recently rewritten (and hilarious) Sparta, and I notice some IPs have been trying to vandalize it with the stupid meme. I think it might be a good idea to permanently semi-protect it. Just tossing the idea out there. Saberwolf116 03:06, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

TBH, I just saw one latest attempt, unless I'm missing something. ~ 07:31, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

I thought I saw two of them. This is madness! Saberwolf116 15:10, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

No, this is SPARTA! ~ 15:18, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

One IP vandalized it with the meme. The other IP inexplicably changed "quarter million" to "quarter billion." This caused me to sit there for twenty minutes pondering why on earth the IP felt that multiplying the size of the Persian force by a factor of a thousand contributed positively to the article. Eventually, I reverted it. pillow talk 17:33, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

If the IPs are under control, then I guess everything's fine. Might want to permanently protect this redirect, though, since RDB protected the other one. Saberwolf116 22:47, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

YADR

Yet another dickbag reference. Thanks for the heads up. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:41, July 19, 2010 (UTC) De nada amigo. ~ 20:13, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

Happy birthday to my mom! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 20:53, July 19, 2010 (UTC)

(no longer) URGENT

Main page vandals! They're ruining the Empire's defences! WikiaRox1337, JujuInTheSky, NotreDame1337. I'm sure you know about it already, but... Sir MacMania GUN—[01:15 20 Jul 2010]

Never you mind. Sannse took care of it. Sir MacMania GUN—[01:30 20 Jul 2010]

Most Wanted

Due to your seemingly endless popularity I was wondering if you would be interested in beeing added to the FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitives. You would more then likely replace Adam West.--The Dragon Lizard 04:38, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

Endless popularity? More like rage and disdain, but feel free. ~ 09:26, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

Congratulations you are now Number 3 on this list... and the crimes fit the punishment as well. --The Dragon Lizard 16:43, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

As one gentleman to another, and without our respective Klingon weapons...

Would a brief civilised discussion on the IRC this morning be possible:-)?--Sycamore (Talk) 09:17, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

Not really, I'm at work and can't really do IRC. We can it this evening or you can email me. ~ 09:24, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

Or you could attach it to a carrier Haggis and let it loose.... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Range block

I don't know anything about IP addresses, but it seems like there's a lot of mass vandalism coming from the ones starting with 92. Is it possible to do a range block on those or something? —fj0j3ddjoaw;rfjaew (r30qjd) 15:45, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

Technically? Possible. Practical? Not really. If you block that range 92.0.0.0-92.255.255.255 you're blocking millions of UK IPs which is not really an option. We tend to use range block only for extreme cases and for a limited time. Except for that one time when Hinoa blocked Italy...ahhh...the good old days...~ 16:31, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

Come to think of it, did we ever let them back again...? I thought I'd heard rather a lot of Italian swearing coming from outside, and every pizza delivery firm in the world refuses to deliver to us. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:38, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

Except for Dominos. But that isn't really Pizza. ~ 16:39, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

Not even really food, for that matter. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:41, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

Somebody hasn't tried Domino's new pizza... /me sends a hit team to Mordillo's house —fj0j3ddjoaw;rfjaew (r30qjd) 16:43, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

I wouldn't try it anyway - pizza is just very expensive cheese on toast. Total rip off. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:49, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

BTW, I made rugelach the other today to take to a friend's party, but I forgot to put fat in the pastry mix. Any ideas for dishes you can make out of about a kilo and a half of iron-hard outer crust with a leathery inner? Other than concrete, that is? :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:52, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

If it helps, a lot of vandalism is coming from 92.2 - 92.4. Is that range any smaller?--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Tuesday, 06:26, July 20 2010 UTC

It is, but it's still shit loads of IPs. ~ 18:31, July 20, 2010 (UTC)

VFH

How long do we need wait before an article - ie; one added according to the correct protocol - can be removed? I refer in particular to Uncyclopedia:VFH/Encyclopaedia Metallum, which has picked up -4 votes in under five hours and (to be blunt) is a bit shit. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 07:05, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

Go ahead and remove it. Its shit anyways--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 07:12, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

'Dillo's actions speak louder than words. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 07:14, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

-3 is the threshold. Otherwise, we typically remove articles when their health drops between 20-30%, depending on how busy VFH is (and weather the article is close to being featured). ~ 07:15, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

OK. I'll leave the featuring stuff up to you, unless I ever happen to notice you're not about and it needs changing (which is unlikely, as I go directly to recent changes and often don't look at the front page for weeks on end). :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 07:18, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

Forget Dillo. I'm less mercyful, so my choice is the better choice. Plus I make good popcorn--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 07:20, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

I WILL BE FEATURING YOUR MOM FROM THE GRAVE. ~ 07:19, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

If you ever release a death metal album, that's what you should call it. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 07:21, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

I was wondering

If I said rape on UU talkspace and he banns me for it, if I give you 12 pics of hot women in small bikinis, would you unban me?--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 07:28, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

No. UU's bans are holy. ~ 07:31, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

More like holy shit. Make that 30 pics plus a large box of donuts. Whatya say?--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 07:35, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

Also reveal nothing about this to UU. If you do I will deny it and blame HelpMe.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 07:46, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

There's asking for it, and then there's this. Fuck's sake. --UU - natter 08:38, Jul 21

Lord Arcardian

Hi Mordillo. It did occur to me that he was talking to me via a sock or something but as he was answering my message, I trust his one day ban is not extended and he is given another chance. I know we have an 'adopt a noob' policy here, perhaps 'adopt a miscreant' too might be an idea. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 08:27, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, might be an idea. However, if the guy isn't willing to help himself I'm not going to do his work for him. He was supplied every bit of necessary information and I'm not going to shove it down his throat if he's too lazy to read it. ~ 08:32, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

Um, that's my noob you're talking about :(. What happened, now? I was asleep.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Wednesday, 04:51, July 21 2010 UTC

Re:XCube

It's just a game like anyother ---Da man360^Talk HAPPY 23:06, 21 July 2010! 23:06, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

Read all about it! The UnSignpost rides again!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Just like Grandma used to make!

Jul 22nd, 2010 • Issue 90 • Suddenly, Signpost!

UnNews hits warp factor Whore By Zim That bastard child of Uncyclopedia and WikiNews, UnNews, is in full-on whoring mode. Tired of being relegated to the bilge hold of Uncyc, staff have collectively and to a man, woman or it, decided to resort to the time-honored tradition of whoring themselves for attention. 2010 is shaping up to be a record year for lots of stuff, which I am too lazy to actually reference. We've had lots of cool coding happenings, resulting in a facelift to the Main Page, and a really cool navigation bar giving access to a plethora (well, 7 sections in fact) of sections including Sports, Comics, Editorials, and special coverage of the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Contributors to UnNews of note are Funnybony, SPIKE, Romartus, Modusoperandi, Mordillo, Multiliteralist, PuppyOnTheRadio, Happytimes, Matt lobster and MrN9000 (when the bugger's here). Apologies to anybody I've missed. The Newsroom, home to nefarious plots and odd ideas, has once again become an active core of resistance against Uncyc's unofficial policy of ignoring us. Always leading edge, UnNews is acquiring a stable of notable personalities for a new series of Uncolumns called "Reductio ad Hitlerum", a guest column that invites persons of note to do an article for us, usually under threat of blackmail. Discussion here, first RaH column here by guest Sarah Palin. Techno gets Mhaille'd By UU The most exclusive and coveted award on Uncyclopedia, the Mhaille award for excellence, has been presented for only the 14th time in 4 years, and the first time in first time in a year, to the suitably humbled RabbiTechno. The award is, unusually on vote-happy Uncyclopedia, not decided on by voting, but is bestowed at the sole discretion of feature-monster, bureaucrat, whoring legend and token Liverpool fan Mhaille, according to his own criteria. Looking down the list of previous winners - Shandon, ENeGMA, Tompkins, Zombiebaron, Prettiestpretty, Savethemooses and the rest, it's pretty clear that the good Rabbi is a) in good company, and b) not going to be here much longer.

Check out these pages! Whoops! Andorin did it again Vote for less voting! What's a "Braydie"? From our logs: 06:03, 22 July 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 67.236.215.111 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Cyberbully - also apparently believes women to have penises and is thus either aged under six years or is a Lady Gaga fan. Either way, unsuitable for Uncyclopedia) 08:04, 19 July 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.167.1.63 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (returning blankist. Nice to see you again chap.) 06:06, 17 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.171.137.61 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I get my dubious software from Synaptic package manager, thank you.) 01:45, 17 July 2010 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.32.64.51 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (yo article so fat) Old-school featured article of the week A shopping list purports to be a simple item used to detail all items required on a given shopping trip. However, recent scientific studies have revealed its true purpose: it is a key element in a game of oneupmanship between couples. The lists are carefully compiled in a secret code known only to one half of the couple, the objective being to confuse, baffle, and otherwise annoy the other half to the point of submission. The ultimate aim is to get the other half to admit to being an abject failure, and to concede intellectual superiority in the relationship indefinitely, or at least until next Tuesday. Cajek ban of the week brings you - Cajek's first ban! 15:06, 20 September 2007 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 hour ‎ (When an admin archives a VFD, voting is closed.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticePS3 13:50, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

You're not going to

let raccoons loose all over the main page tomorrow ... right? Sir MacMania GUN—[15:08 22 Jul 2010]

I have no idea what you're talking about. ~ 15:10, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

Sure you do. Remeber? You told me last Sunday you would do so. Oh yeah, you were drunk at the time.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 18:26, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

I have no idea who you are. ~ 18:28, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

Thats because your have a blind-fold on and are right now tied up and a chair and are about to be raped by a Polish and a Mexican unless you pay them the money you borrowed to get beer. But you don't remeber, you were drunk. I'm just here to watch it happen--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 18:48, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

I thought he'd already paid for the pleasure of being in that situation. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:50, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

Well I guess he is paying them off after all. If your join them Rabbi, it'll make the experience even better. I'll like to see that. I know your a rabbi and its against Jewish tradition to do such things, but the hell with tradition!--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 19:02, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

Just wondering

Hi Mor! Salutations! I was just wondering about Post Apocalypse. The two previous times you put an FH on my user page. Just checking to see if anything was over looked. Not that I care, or anything, except that the FH is worth one mil $ cash. Which isn't much, really. But its worth asking about. Cheers!--Funnybony    16:16, Jul 22

Done. ~ 18:24, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

You, Sir, are a Knight in shining armor! Cheers--Funnybony    06:25, Jul 23

I don't know why I'm doing this

Some guy asked if he could be unbanned. I don't care either way, but I just thought you'd be interested in it. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 17:11, July 23, 2010 (UTC)

Saw that. As you said, Facebook is not the place to discuss that. He's welcome to come over to IRC and have a chat with Flammable, or send him an email. If he can catch any other lurking admin. ~ 18:37, July 23, 2010 (UTC)

Who said that was me that said it? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 09:22, July 24, 2010 (UTC)

Do you want some spanking with your omelet? ~ 09:42, July 24, 2010 (UTC)

I'd prefer TOAST or a BAGEL, but you kill those. Hater. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 09:45, July 24, 2010 (UTC)

Another collab-y idea

As we're steaming ahead with that collab, I thought maybe one we have more first-hand knowledge of might get done a bit quicker, and might even have more potential. If this intrigues you any, I shall elaborate. --UU - natter 19:31, Jul 23

Not something about raccoons I hope. Go on. ~ 19:48, July 23, 2010 (UTC)

Nope. UnBooks:Conversations With My Father - written in a pompus literary tone, about a young baby's confusion about why his father doesn't seem to understand him.

I tried to explain to the buffoon that his patronising behaviour was inappropriate in front of the lovely Jasmine, and that perhaps a touch of decorum was in order - "aaaoaaaooaaaaoawwwaaeeeeeoeee" I told him, earnestly, but he just smiled, said "clever boy!" and blew another raspberry noise on my belly. I didn't dare look in Jasmine's direction.

What do you reckon? --UU - natter 06:29, Jul 24

..."How can the imbecile not fathom the depths of my horror when I found out that my genitalia is now wrapped with a pamper adorned with a impressionist portrait of Dora. I said, "SPARTACUS!""...

Yeah, I think I can do that :) ~ 08:48, July 24, 2010 (UTC)

Cool. It's started here. Your move. --UU - natter 10:30, Jul 26

Just because you said you didn't want to see anymore...

Saberwolf116 00:45, July 24, 2010 (UTC)

I demand

that you give me a 5 minute banned because I smoked a cigarette--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 01:14, July 24, 2010 (UTC)

VFS

TKF brought up the possibility of another VFS next month on the talk page. Figured you might want to know about it. Saberwolf116 16:20, July 24, 2010 (UTC)

I've noticed. He can open an ops vote in August 1st if he wants to. I personally think it's not needed. ~ 16:23, July 24, 2010 (UTC)

But it'll give you someone new to haze! Maybe you can make them streak through Jerusalem or somesuch... Saberwolf116 16:25, July 24, 2010 (UTC)

You think I need VFS to do that?! ~ 17:02, July 24, 2010 (UTC)

I suppose not. By the way, when did the block description get changed from "Judgement Day" to "infinite"? Saberwolf116 06:23, July 25, 2010 (UTC)

Maybe people would otherwise be free to vandalise Uncyc from Paradiso/Purgatorio/Inferno. Sir MacMania GUN—[13:19 25 Jul 2010]

Please stop undoing my edits. Also...

] --EMC ^[TALK] 13:25 Jul 25 2010

Stop spamming them all over the place. Those are seriously annoying. ~ 13:32, July 25, 2010 (UTC)

VFS campaigning

I don't know about you, but I'm really starting to get pissed off about all of this tongue-in-cheek "campaigning" by EMC and Ape on Thursdays. Would you be above issuing a Cabal decree that declares no whoring, even if it's fake? Saberwolf116 16:01, July 27, 2010 (UTC)

While it is annoying, as long as there isn't any VFS actually happening and this "campaign" is limited to BHOP, we can live with it. Whenever we do have a VFS round, I'll be much more strict on the matter. ~ 16:07, July 27, 2010 (UTC)

All I'll say is, if Romartus were an admin he'd be way stricter on campaigning. -- lazy Ape (deconstruct) (Riot Porn) 16:13, July 27, 2010 (UTC)

Hahahaha Romartus as admin. --EMC ^[TALK] 16:15 Jul 27 2010

All right you lot, clear off and go violate a copyright policy or something. ~ 16:16, July 27, 2010 (UTC)

Hahahaha Romartus as admin. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 18:52, July 27, 2010 (UTC)

Ban

Banning me doesn't help, you know | CartoonistHenning 00:06, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

We can see that you're an IP, dipshit. Saberwolf116 00:09, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

It does help us, with regard to not having you around. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 00:22, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

Oh no this shithead is back--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 18:14, July 29, 2010 (UTC)

Next time you're in IRC...

I would like to chat with you. Alternately, you mentioned emailuser, and that would work as well. --Andorin Kato 23:40, July 28, 2010 (UTC)

There's more chance of catching me via email. If I do get to IRC it's typically late in the evening in my time zone (GMT +1). ~ 06:58, July 29, 2010 (UTC)

/me heads off to Special:Emailuser --Andorin Kato 07:01, July 29, 2010 (UTC)

Just want to check

Is this okay to stay where it is, or am I really not supposed to be mucking about in that namespace? pillow talk 07:29, July 29, 2010 (UTC)

You probably want to move it into Uncyclopedia's Mnaual of Style. That namespace is more for "official" "decrees" and such. ~ 07:35, July 29, 2010 (UTC)

Moving it there really isn't optimal for the joke, but I'll go ahead and make the move to Uncyclopedia's Manuel of Style. pillow talk 07:37, July 29, 2010 (UTC)

Umm

You deleted a forum I made for a reason. What is that reason?--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 19:24, July 29, 2010 (UTC)

All will become clear, just be patient young Jedi. --ChiefjusticePS3 19:24, July 29, 2010 (UTC)

I was busy writing another message and didn't want to create a clutter of discussion over the same issue. Take a look at the forum now. ~ 19:28, July 29, 2010 (UTC)

Probably the wrong person to ask

You're Probably the wrong person I should ask. But after looking all over the wiki I can't seem to find the answer, and you're the only staff member i Know so... What do i have to do to get FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitives turned into a Featured article. --The Dragon Lizard 17:59, July 30, 2010 (UTC)

I am not Mordillo, but I can tell you that since this is your article, you would have to self nominate it on VFH. BUT in order to self-nom anything, you need to have the article get a Pee Review. If you want a shortcut, both links can always be found on the left there, under community. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 18:27, July 30, 2010 (UTC)

Ok now for the next question... WHo do i ask or what do i have to do to get it Pee Reviewed? --The Dragon Lizard 15:16, July 31, 2010 (UTC)

Nevermind... I just figured it out. --The Dragon Lizard 15:17, July 31, 2010 (UTC)

Rollback, and not the Wal-Mart variety...

So, after this conversation with good ol' Chief, can i haz rollback? Thanks. -- Sf13 18:10 EST 31 July, 2010

Done. Try to use it only when you're dealing with obvious vandalism. When dealing with questionable edits, it's better to undo and state the reason for doing so. ~ 08:48, August 2, 2010 (UTC)

Will do, thanks Mordillo. -- Sf13 14:04 EST 3 Aug, 2010

Shalom!

Shalom! How are you, dad? How is Uncyclopedia life treating you? I hope you're comfortable. Is there anything I can get you? - [15:28 3 August 2010] PlebYettie

Cup of coffee and peace of mind? All is well, got a small baby at home now, so you have a brother! ~ 15:52, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

Oh wow, after experimenting with kids on uncyclopedia, you've branched out into real life? Mazel tov! Congratulations, how old is he? I suppose you don't get as much time for Uncyclopedia now, then? - [16:00 3 August 2010] PlebYettie

He's almost 4 months old. Yes, don't get as much time as I'd like, and writing comes in the last place unfortunately :). How have you been? Things are not the same without you. Dull and gray. ~ 18:38, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

I've been okay. Nothing as exciting as a baby, thankfully, considering I'm still at school...just er, chugging along, and such like. Dull and gray without me? Well of course! And I see up there are the top, they're still counting to a million? Haven't got bored yet? - [19:22 3 August 2010] PlebYettie

Don't think they will, until they reach a million. --~ 19:36, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

Oh the poor bastards...I better go add my +1. For old time's sake. So what's new at Uncyclopedia? I see that UnNews has changed a little? - [20:29 3 August 2010] PlebYettie

It appears it's been archived...and I just totally fell for that USERNAME tag trick in some guys sig. - [20:31 3 August 2010] PlebYettie

All the cool people are having babies these days. --UU - natter 11:13, Aug 4

Not you as well, UU! Surely not! - [11:19 4 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Oh yes. And my daughter is older than Mordillo's son, because he just decided to follow the trend I was starting. We're having fun with teething now. It's all good. --UU - natter 11:25, Aug 4

Oh gosh a minidillo and a miniuu. Well congratulations to the both of you. - [11:32 4 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Teething. Ha. We Mordillon his first porridge yesterday so we might get a whole night sleep. The bloody baby woke up TWICE! O_O ~ 12:00, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Couldn't you just dish out a one day for every time he wakes up in the night? Surely he'd learn then, that waking up the night is only setting himself on downwards spiral to a permaban? - [12:57 4 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

UU, I'll let you answer this one O_O ~ 14:54, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Username change

Alistair said you can change my username; can you change it to Gomphog

He lied, then. Mordillo can't change usernames. Only Sannse can.--HM (T) 18:10, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

I can make mean chocolate cake though. ~ 18:42, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

Although there was that one unpleasant time when you were changing a diaper and cooking at the same time. Long story short: It wasn't chocolate on that cake.--HM (T) 18:50, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

You thought that was a cake? ~ 19:18, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

HELMPE sometimes has trouble differentiating between a cake and a flan. pillow talk 19:23, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

I now am craving cake and flan, good job guys, are you trying to make me fat? -- Sf13 15:31 EST 3 Aug, 2010

Just adoringly chubby. ~ 19:36, August 3, 2010 (UTC)

Seriously

A whole chapter? Dude... Hope you can remember most of it. I have a good feeling about that one. --UU - natter 11:10, Aug 4

There, I hope I've let your unrealistic expectations down. ~ 12:19, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Ooh. Hmm - like the idea, as always you find an angle that makes me chuckle. The execution clashes a bit with the rest of it though, particularly because he's referred directly to his mother already. Mind if i re-word it a tad to make it fit better, while retaining the idea? --UU - natter 12:50, Aug 4

Go ahead. I'll deal with you when judgment day arrives. ~ 14:53, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Iranian president survives assassination attempt; blames everyone

Standards are really slipping at Mossad lately. First they bollocks-up the thing in Dubai, now they fail to assassinate Ahmedinejad... We're all going to have to think up something new to scare the goyim with if they don't start kicking arse again soon! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:08, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, and nice UnNews by the way. I nearly forgot that bit. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:11, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Since I didn't get to buy you a pint in real life...

Ok, I know you think I'm a troublemaker/disruptive/whatever, with some justification. But I don't want enemies on this wiki. There's been too much seriousfaggotry and infighting in general recently. So, in traditional Irish style, here's a pint (or a picture of one) - lets put disputes behind us. -- lazy Ape (deconstruct) (Riot Porn) 16:36, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Also, I bought a pint of Guinness in Amsterdam, it was horrible. -- lazy Ape (deconstruct) (Riot Porn) 17:08, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

I bought a pint of Guinness, it was horrible. --ChiefjusticePS3 17:11, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Where did you get it? If the barman doesn't know what he's doing, or if the pub doesn't have enough Guinness going through the taps, it will taste like shit. -- lazy Ape (deconstruct) (Riot Porn) 17:33, August 4, 2010 (UTC)

Retrospective response - I was about to hold on answering to this until the famous forum would appear,as I wouldn't want to appear as a complete schmuck telling you "everything is fine" and then sign off on that forum two days after. I actually had a fairly positive, I think, response planned but following the whole attitude and conspiracy theories I saw directed at me on the forum, I don't think I'll bother. ~ 11:10, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

I may have over-reacted, in retrospect (you may have noticed myself and e|m|c were rather pissed off in general). But given our past history of animosity, it really did feel like a snub. I still feel like a lot of the substantive stuff I said about the way you tend to handle disputes is valid, the head-admin-secret-Zionist-conspiracy stuff, probably less so. Make of that what you will. -- lazy Ape (deconstruct) (Riot Porn) 11:33, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

The new VFD timer thingy

As I've been away for a week, is there anything I need to know - such as, does an article now need to be on VFD for a certain time before being deleted/saved? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:34, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

You've missed quite a bit I think. Look over the dump :). The VFD thing is essentially no deletion for at least 24 hours to make sure everyone get a chance to vote. ~ 08:43, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, been a busy week it seems. I had a look at the Dump yesterday to catch up on the recent controversies and problems, but didn't want to get too bogged down in it so got the details from Mhaille and Chief on IRC. The 24hrs rule seems a sensible one - as does the proposed admin code of conduct. Anyway, I'm off for the best part of the next week too so I'll expect to return to a charred ruin. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:51, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Where are you off to? ~ 08:54, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Stewarding a cinema tent at a festival. Basically, two hours a day for three days making sure nobody under the age of 15 goes in without an adult/throws beer at the screen in exchange for a free ticket and meals. Nice work if you can get it! Best thing of all is Mrs. Rabbi's mother lives about a mile from the festival site so we get easy access to showers too. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:57, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

That genuinely sounds like fun! Mordillia is taking the little one on Sunday to the Holy Land and leaving me by myself for a couple of weeks (before I join her) so I'll be forced to sleep whole nights and catch up on my alcohol/movies/xbox/life. ~ 09:05, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

Will that be his first visit? I have to admit I quite enjoy it when Mrs. Rabbi is away for a couple of nights - there's a cable channel that shows engineering and science programmes all day, which she hates, so I get to spend my time in bed watching really geeky stuff about bridge construction, military hardware, geology and the like. Of course, if I was a proper man, I'd be watching porn. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:13, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

No no, if you'd be a real man you'd be watching the military history of the British Empire on The History Channel. ~ 09:17, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

The History Channel's not on Freeview. My manliness may be in doubt, but I'm definitely Jewish. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:19, August 5, 2010 (UTC)

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Aug 5th, 2010 • Issue 91 • I love it when the news comes together

VFD minimum time limit introduced By UU Yes, folks, it's actual news this week. We know, next week will see normal service resumed. However: following a forum discussion on the dump that impressively managed to avoid any real drama, it has been decided that, to avoid any articles being deleted without a proper window for debate, all nominations on VFD will remain open for a minimum of one day. Further to that, the minimum score required for deletion is in the process of being clarified, so that either a score of at least +5 in favour of deletion will be required before the trigger-happy admins fire up their huffing devices, or 5 keep votes will automatically exempt an article from deletion. One of those. Probably. The number 5 seems certain to be involved, whatever the outcome. Hopefully, this will ensure that BUTT POOP is never deleted again. At least, such is our understanding. Sorry about that. We will now follow this with an article with no relation to news whatsoever, to try and make it up to you. Uncyc Fantasy Football draft off to racing start By UU Those with a passing interest in sports might notice that Uncyc's never-popular Fantasy Football league is about to embark on its second season, and has begun the draft process necessary to create the teams that will be taking part. So far, the results have surpassed the expectations of all except noted optimist Bradaphraser. Three days in, and seven of the record fourteen competitors have picked a single player each, making this the slowest process since BP started trying to cap that goddamn oil leak. This year's competition promises to be more open than the last, including as it does Joe9320, who admits to knowing nothing about the sport, preferring AFL, and noted British namby-pamby "soccer" fan UU, who has somehow agreed to become an Indianapolis Colts fan for the duration of the season. Hence his adding a picture of what he is assured is the awesome Peyton Manning into this very article. With the likes of the here-one-week-gone-for-a-month Gerrycheevers also involved in the process, it could well end up taking long enough to be ready by the start of the 2011-12 season.

Check out these pages! You're new, aren't you? I have this way of telling Fighting the good fight: a beginner's guide Someone returns, creates forum From our logs: 07:55, 3 August 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Ethine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1000 seconds ‎ (I'm seeing the words "Added category!" when I sleep now) 14:44, 29 July 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 195.74.132.170 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (I'm sure Emma is a really nice girl when you get to know her. Ask her out for some coffee or something. And when you guys fuck, don't post about that here either.) 00:14, 28 July 2010 Flammable (Talk | contribs) blocked 89.9.0.0/16 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (I got bored, so I decided to block 2/3 of Norway. Bug an admin in IRC and they'll unblock you, maybe.) Biopic of the Week Some user was just some user who created Uncycloversity, Unquotable, and had the world's greatest departure message from Uncyclopedia. Despite only having been at Uncyclopedia long enough for everyone to cry when he left, Some user brought a plethora of knowledge to Uncyclopedia. He taught us all how to find our inner sockpuppet and be humble, the former of which has duped countless users into earning lengthy bans and the latter of which was laughed at out of confusion and then soon forgotten. He also taught us all about the laws that protect one's anonymity on the internet, reminding us that the internet is a safe, anonymous world. Fact: every time a person uses a proxy, God makes a rainbow. Sexy 'Crat of the Week Mhaille is quite possibly the reason why all sysops on Uncyclopedia are assumed to be sexy. Going by his South Park likeness here (have you added yours?), his excitingly furrowed brow speaks of smouldering hidden depths, his trim goatee teamed with his unkempt hair hints at the animal nature he so barely keeps in check, his narrowed eyes show he's always ready for action... Face it folks: the man drips sex. Being banned by him is actually illegal in twelve American states as being too erotic.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

—Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:46, 5 August 2010

My head hurts...

Apparently, Ljlego is older than you?!? - [20:57 6 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Ha, never saw that one. Apparently so, for 5 edits. ~ 21:01, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

Interesting. Hah! How come you got to adopting so quickly then?? Also I really need to stay away from Uncyc this weekend. I might have to come to you and ask for a ban because my willpower is shockingly weak. - [21:06 6 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Nah, I adopted him in 2007, he wasn't really active before then. ~ 21:11, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

Oh I see. Well there is an interesting Uncyc fact for you. - [21:19 6 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

And am I correct in thinking Uncyc was founded in 2005? Which makes this the year of its fifth anniversary? - [21:20 6 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

I'm not edit conflicting you, am I? Didn't that there tab up there always used to say "talkpage" on user talk pages? And I hope you saw that IP that went around blanking some articles, and my UnNews, twice. He left a lovely comment on one of his edits: MORDILLO, YOU CAN FUCKING SUCK MY COCK YOU LITTLE NIGGER BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!! Thought you'd appreciate that. It's always nice to know you have admirers. - [21:27 6 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Oh, I got loads of them. And the list is getting longer by the second. ~ 21:35, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

I've got to think that many of them are the same guy. Would a hundred random people randomly decide to refer to Mordillo as a "nigger bitch"? Well... maybe, but for the sake of humanity I hope not. pillow talk 22:13, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

That dude's been coming around here for a long time. He's targeted both myself and MrN in the past, amongst others. I think he was convinced that I was a woman at one point and made claims that my vagina was as cold as the planet Hoth or something. I love that fucking guy, greatest vandal ever. --Roman Dog Bird 22:18, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

But your vagina IS cold! ~ 22:20, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

I'm learning to love him, as well. - [22:21 6 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Poopsmithing

I have a couple of questions:

1. My duties involve archiving Ban Patrol, VFD, and QVFD, correct?

2. Should I wait until the end of the day to archive QVFD stuff?

Saberwolf116 21:27, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

1. yep 2. typically when it's deleted or someone used the "was deleted" template (which generally doesn't happen). ~ 21:33, August 6, 2010 (UTC)

From one poopsmith to another, I just archive QVFD when I see that the list of red links or articles kept for a reason gets long- it doesn't necessarily have to be once a day. You can do it however you like, as there aren't any concrete rules on this matter.--HM (T) 01:56, August 7, 2010 (UTC)

Token admin (in a nice way!)

Hi, since you happen to be my token admin, cause you're my dad and all and have pretty much always been my first port of call when I want an admin: I am thinking about restarting my mafia usergroup, but with the three specific aims: 1. To help and assist noobs, as well as allowing them to quickly become friends with lots of experienced users (like adopt-a-noob but focusing on integrating noobs into the community, which I think is often what helps keep users at the site), 2. To allow peaceful and calm socialising and chatting in a comfy bar, 3. To promote good will, good faith and merriment within the Uncyc community. Obviously the third issue could be seen as slightly contentious considering recent issues. And I don't know exactly we'd go about 3. Obviously carefully so as not to piss anyone off. I want to know if you think now is an inappropriate time to set something like this up and/or any thoughts on point 3. I'm a hippie deep down and just want peace and love for all. But I don't want to annoy anyone or stir anything up, so I thought I should consult an admin first. Cheers! - [01:52 7 August 2010] TheYet•Talk

Hya Yettie, in general everything that can make people feel good and dispense horse heads all over the place is good, as long as it's not becoming another spam that is being splayed all over the place. Good luck! ~ 08:42, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

The "Elapsed TIme" thing on VFD

I'm all for setting a 24-hour minimum on VFD votes, but do you think keeping the "Elapsed Time" stamp on a nomination is still necessary after it's been archived? I was thinking that I could remove the time stamps after the nom has been archived and replaced it with "closed" or something along those lines. What do you think? Saberwolf116 13:13, August 7, 2010 (UTC)

If I am correct, just removing the "|time=05:20, March 28, 2024 (UTC)" part from the template will remove the "Elapsed Time" stamp without causing any problems. Also, this is not my talkpage. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:21, 7 August 2010

I know, I just want to make sure there's no problem with me doing it. Saberwolf116 13:22, August 7, 2010 (UTC)

No issue with me. ~ 08:42, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

A feechur

I was ambling along in my customary merry way and was about to feature this, but when I looked at it I thought it would be best done with some kind of front page wizardry, so I have left it for someone else. --ChiefjusticePS3 14:58, August 8, 2010 (UTC)

Ya think we can do the entire front page thing? That would both honor Page and Socky (in that order, as it should be psssst It's his first feature. Hers too.). And it would be too much fun I'd puke with excitement. Twanks. Aleister 15:33 8 8

It seems that Socky did a good job, so what you can do is take a snippet on it and place it in the queue normally and then at midnight GMT, copy the code as is and replace the main page with it and revert after a day. Drop me an email if you need any help during the occasion. ~ 08:42, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

OK, I've prepared the feature, you just need to drop the code at around midnight GMT. I'll do it if I'm around, but I'm a bit sick and can't guarantee I'll be around. ~ 13:02, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

Hello, Mordillo

Seeing as your talk page is already extensively long (and I'm not helping), I'll just get to the point- I'd be a very happy n00b if you'd adopt me or something along those lines. Leutnant Herr Thatdamnedfollowspot 03:42 Monday, August 9, 2010

I'll be happy to, just bear in mind that I'm not really that much around currently, if you can deal with waiting a while for answers/help - than no problems. ~ 08:42, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

That's fine by me. Thanks again. Leutnant Herr Thatdamnedfollowspot 14:10 Tuesday, August 10, 2010

TDFS, I watch this page with a hawk eye, so if Mordillo is not around for whatever reason for a long period of time I'll drop by and see if I can help. If that's okay by you, dad? He's my dad, see. So sibling love and such like. —PRICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [16:13 10 August 2010]

Since I missed out giving you this in real life

Hope you enjoy many hard feelings. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

With you involved there are always hard and fully erect feelings. ~ 08:42, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for featuring Bettie Page!

It's kinda funny how you're featuring Bettie Page's featuring of A Brief History Of Hot Bitches In Leather Kicking Ass. I was actually just thinking about using the Bettie Page related section The 1950's instead of the introduction. That'd mean you'd have to change the text in the feature queue too, though. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:38, 9 August 2010

My pleasure. Don't know if you noticed the section ^^^ there, but you're getting a reskin as well. But otherwise, just let me know which text you want on the blurb and I'll put it. ~ 13:42, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

Can I have a feature too? Or like some pocket money or something? —PRICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [13:50 9 August 2010]

You can have my fist up your....err...apple pie. ~ 13:58, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

Well, I made the change. This is the new text:

In the squeaky clean and highly moralistic depictions of 1950’s America by television shows like "Father Knows Best" and "Leave it to Beaver", women were depicted as if they were still living in the 1930’s but had learned to get back into the kitchen without being told. The war was over and women kicking ass wasn’t deemed to be a necessity anymore. Naughtiness was pretty much relegated to localized “camera clubs”, who secretly exchanged artistic photos out of the scrutiny of mainstream censorship. After these connoisseurs got a sniff of Bettie Page, in leather and lace, getting spanked and posing in other fetishist idioms, it wasn’t long before girly publications like "Wink", "Titter" and "Eyeful" hit the newsstands. Women were now encouraged to be leather-wearing hotties but the only thing that came close to ass kicking was Bettie getting spanked by another woman with a hair brush.

Feel free to take that whole text, part of it, or something else from the article, as long as it mentions Bettie Page (obviously). And a huge thanks for the reskin! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:00, 9 August 2010

Done. And you probably want to thank Mister In Chains for whoring that reskin idea for weeks now. I need to put the bloody bugger on my spam list O_O (and sorry for not responding Al, you caught me in a bad moment, re the forum of last weekend). ~ 14:19, August 9, 2010 (UTC)

Since you featured it and put her on the Main Page, I thought it appropriate to give this template to you as well. Thanks again! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 11:41, 10 August 2010

Narrations

are now up in glorious medium-quality MP3. Thanks for the newly valid nomination! (And for making me stay up 'til actual sunrise to make these narrations—I would have had them done sooner, but I lost data on 2001 quite a few times, and had to re-record a lot of stuff, only to find that I actually had the lost data with me all along, so it was all a big circlewaste in the end. If you listen to the 2001 narration you might see why the computer gave up on me more than a few times.) Sir MacMania GUN—[05:45 10 Aug 2010]

WTF

What the fuck was all that about?! Fist you delete UnNews:Apocalyps Pony, than you delete Apocalypse Pony?! I was about to edit that page you jerk! PS. Reply this rant --666satan6669 20:19, August 10, 2010 (UTC)666satan6669

Perhaps you want to reconsider the way you talk to people if you expect anything to be answered. To the matter at hand - it wasn't an UnNews to begin with, and the article in question was some random lines of text. If you ask real nicely I can restore it to your space for you to work on it further. ~ 20:21, August 10, 2010 (UTC)

A feature would set me up above the gods! AND THROUGH THE DA-LEKS I SHALL HAVE THAT FEA-TURE!

Thanks for voting for Dalek! Oh, and thanks for that FA template too! Very nice. Sir MacMania GUN—[20:20 11 Aug 2010]

File:UnNews--New apps support terrorist attacks.mp3

This version (2:46, 1.91) has me as narrator, rearranges the text to use three paragraphs of your version as quotes from "Mr. Tabakci," and ends with your sign-off. At your sole option, substitute it for your version, and by all means keep the merit badge. Spıke ¬ 23:35 12-Aug-10

Technically, that works reasonably well (even though the quality of the original file seemed to have deteriorated when you incorporated it to your file). But I honsetly have to ask, while putting on the famous Platoon gesture, why? You've stated yourself that you miss pluralism in the audio department and I finally find time to record an audio in my style, which is very different from yours, and you have the need to go and create another version, your own. This is not criticism, mind you, I'm just wondering. ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 06:23, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

I wanted to use your wonderful foreign accent and to correct the technical problems (pauses at the start and the fact that the drum background ended) and create an audio with actual quotes in it. Collaboration is pluralism too. It did reduce the fidelity when I converted your 44KHz stereo to 22KHz mono; don't know why. I certainly don't insist that mine replace yours.

Separately, I tried to use Gert5's new {{InlineMedia}} (at the start of the Synopsis in {{Second Lead}}) to advertise your audio on the UnNews Main Page. Gert5 has written it to assume audios begin with the string "UnNews--"; there is a workaround in case they don't, but I can't get it to work right, and he hasn't answered my query on his talk page. Spıke ¬ 11:55 13-Aug-10

OK, sorry I can't respond in more detail at this point, but just know that the "technical problems" were all intended. I had a version I started swearing in Arabic at "Mustafa" for the drums that stopped, but it didn't turned out that great. I'll try it again next time :) ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 12:23, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

DaniWeb

Why did you delete DaniWeb? Now all good text was lost :( I wanted to counteract to the stupid advertisement of that site everywhere in the Internet, which usually happens so that its owners ask for review and then themselves answer there and commend it to the seventh heaven. It pretends to be a form of social networkiing for IT people but different from facebook it doesn't allow to delete account and even not indicate anyhow that the account is not active. A vast majority of its 250 000 users are no longer active, so the real number of users is by far not that large. The admins there treat people offhand and rudely, so many people who join leave after a short while. But this doesn't matter because they still count as active users. I don't want a large number of good people to be deceived, so if you know better what is the right way to do that, then maybe you would suggest some alternatives. Otherwise, please restore DaniWeb. Floraandfauna 01:29, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

The text was not lost, it can be easily restored. However, I think you've mistaken the purpose of this wiki. This is, more or less, a mockup of Uncyclopedia and this article seems to be completely unrelated to the general content we have here. So while I sympathize with the trouble over there, I don't think we're the right place to fight the good fight. Sorry. ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 06:17, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

So, keep Uncyclopedia a place for harmless jokes only. Sorry but, i don't think that completely harmless jokes make any sense or are even funny. So, the ´day the Uncyclopedia becomes such right place, it would not be interesting for almost anyone and it's better to delete the whole thing. Floraandfauna 08:00, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

I didn't say anything about harmless jokes and don't really understand how you made this mental leap. What I said is that that article specifically did not strike me as a humor-esque encyclopedic article but more like a private rant against an obscure IT community that most people would not know anything about. Am I mistaken? ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 08:06, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry but, I cannot understand for you. My private rant, their private plot, people suffer, better not to allow any criticism just in case, and we can all breathe easier. This is the only way how i can understand your thinking. I failed to find there anything what makes sense or anything what is funny, but i guess that i failed to understand some special Uncyclopedia humour for long term users. I apologize for that, i guess that i don't have the right kind of sense of humour. Floraandfauna 10:18, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

And, BTW, you wrote about DaniWeb in my talk page

"It strikes me as some advertisement to an IT community - and we are certainly not the right place to advertise it."

as the only reason why you deleted it. Now you know that it was not advertisement, so now you should restore it. Floraandfauna 11:06, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

Are you even reading what I'm saying? It has nothing to do with "long term users", I'm acting as an admin here, not a long term user. The equation is simple:

• Does the content pass the vanity test? I venture a guess that it doesn't.
• Does it follow a semi reasonable Encyclopedic style? In this case no.
• Is it funny? Does it follow HTBFANJS remotely? I'd say no.

This has nothing, and I'll emphasize it again because you insist of missing this point NOTHING to do with us being afraid of criticism. We have doezes of articles that flame almost every known gender, race, group etc. It all has to do with the funny/vanity value of it. I'm willing to restore it to your userspace for you to work on it further and get a pee review, but at this point it's not fit for mainspace. ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 12:17, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

That you may be afraid of criticism is something which could never come to my mind. I don't know whether the article passes your "vanity test", as i have no idea what Codeine's Mum knows, who also no one knows. Usually, something is considered important when a large number of people know it, not that it must be widely known. But you have efficiently restricted the content to most widely known, and thus the least interesting. Congrats, one more step for restricting the free speech, i don't know how much humor is in this. Floraandfauna 13:26, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry to interrupt while not being Mordillo, but you wouldn't happen to be the same person who disturbed the NPOV of the DaniWeb article on Wikipedia? I didn't even know the site existed until your vendetta here and there. Are you sure this issue isn't something you should take to some consumer protection agency or other, not a humour wiki or encyclopaedic wiki? Sir MacMania GUN—[13:47 13 Aug 2010]

Also, yeah, Uncyc is not your soapbox. We ridicule more than we misanthropically lash out—think the Onion vs Swift, or Horatian vs Juvenalian except I get those last two confused all the time, so forget that. What was I saying? Sir MacMania GUN—[14:02 13 Aug 2010]

No i'm not the same person, don't accuse everything what people who are not satisfied with that site do, on me. I know several people who left from there with despair and there is no way how others can see it because their account remains there and even remains active, they like just have not enough time to be there. The admins refuse to delete the account and refuse to delete any data on request of the user, including any personal data. Everything which they contributed also remains the posession of the site, no matter how these people were made to leave. I want to defend other people and i will do so. But you answer is to make nonsense accusations against me. Please don't next accuse me in death of your cat. I will continue to defend the rights of the people, and if you want to stop me, you must eliminate me, otherwise you don't act in a decisive way. And also remember, i'm not the only one who defends the rights of the people, and would not be. Floraandfauna 16:08, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

You called my next move—I was going to accuse you for the fact that my cat doesn't exist. But sorry if I accused you of something you didn't do—that was not my intention. Similar dates, that's all. And it was certainly not my intention to distract you from the main points I was making, which were everything else.

Well, in any case, this sounds like a tyranny worth fighting, and by all means deploy your resistance where it is appropriate. But if people are suffering as you say—and I believe you that they do—this is a problem that can't be dealt with via Uncyclopedia. You'd be better off contacting the admins or DaniWeb LLC itself, because it'd be just as ineffectual. (Again: Uncyc is not your soapbox.) We're nowhere near that important. So don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't. blink. Good luck. Sir MacMania GUN—[16:22 13 Aug 2010]

Flora, you're obviously very keen on being the tragic protector of freedom of speech of the week (TPoFoSotW eh?) rather than take the solution I proposed - being the restoration of the article to your space, reworking it and post it for pee review. So please, take your speeches else where. If you'd like to follow the proposed solution you know where to find me. ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 18:40, August 15, 2010 (UTC)

Excuse me sir?

Some prick has ruined my article on Yes, filling just about every inch of the page with stupid name changes and unfunny randomness. If there's a way to quickly remedy this (without manually editing everything back to the featured version) then I'd be grateful of your help. Or if it's particularly simple could you just do it for me? :) thehallway 09:52, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

One button was all it took! (fixed now). ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 12:20, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

Well Thehallway did correct pick up that I am a man. I thought I did a good job making the article a lot less encyclopedic. Isn't this the content free website. Did you you even check my changes before reverting them? Is the article about this major band OWNED by Thehallway, is it? ("my article" <- great attitude there, I should really do anything that someone with this attitude says.) Great job guys.--Dreamsreign 02:05, August 18, 2010 (UTC)

Surprisingly, yes, I did look at your changes before I reverted as I do before every revert. The changes seems to me like you're randomly changing words that didn't seem to add a lot to the article. Was there some concept there I missed?

Even though Thehallaway doesn't own the article he did write it and have some say over the content. Also, the article was featured which means that we tend to limit major changes to the article. If you want to discuss with him or on the talk page of the article, feel free. ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 07:19, August 18, 2010 (UTC)

New sig?

What happened to the beautiful spinning ninjastar thing?! —PRICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [17:44 13 August 2010]

Jewstar. And I agree. It was unique. It was fun. It wasn't green. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 17:46, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

I didn't use the word 'jewstar' because actually that's copyrighted. You have to pay a royalty check to starbucks or miramax or someone everytime you use it. —PRICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [18:44 13 August 2010]

Yeah, only I can use green. Go choose another color, fartknocker. -- Roman Dog Bird 19:02, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

I don't believe in anything any more!--HM (T)

That statement might be taken to be correct. —PRICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [23:57 13 August 2010]

Only temporary measures against the infidels. Order shall be restored shortly. ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 18:37, August 15, 2010 (UTC)

Shavua Tov

D'you fancy having a go at the Kashrut article as suggested when we did Jewish Cuisine at some point, assuming you can beg time off from being a daddy? I'm working again, which means I don't have as much time to write but I do have seven or eight hours a day during which the majority of my brain is idle and can be set to good use thinking up jokes and images. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:04, August 15, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, completely missed that! I'll be happy to start working on it, we'll just need to see how we differentiate it from the Jewish Cuisine article. Wanna start? ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 09:09, August 17, 2010 (UTC)

This better not get in the way of you adding another chapter. /me hefts nappy sack menacingly... --UU - natter 09:19, Aug 17

I was actually in the middle of writing it and bloody Chrome crashed. I hate that bloody browser. Back to FF now. ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 09:32, August 17, 2010 (UTC)

Been away for a few days again - I can see this one taking even longer than Jewish Cuisine. One way to make it different from that would be to structure it around the Taryag Mitzvot, as we could probably work in a few jokes about the ol' Rambam too. Afterall, Rambam is quite a funny name. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:52, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

why you kill off an ip for no reason?

67.161.207.231 got banned forever for an edit that fixed spelling... granted, the edit reason wasn't terribly appropriate, but still.... also hi again to uncyc... i've been away for what feels like forever -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 07:38, Aug 18

Because of the edit summary that indicates that this is a part of the gang that currently trolls Roman Dog Bird. Welcome back. ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 08:24, August 18, 2010 (UTC)

Where is your fuckhead, Mordillo? —PRICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [11:20 18 August 2010]

Next to my nipples obviously. ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 11:22, August 18, 2010 (UTC)

actually... i heard from someone that the ip wasn't part of that gang.... i heard he just added it because the amount of attention RDB gets is hilarious and wanted to see what would happen. anyways... the ip is a "friend" of mine... think you could unban it please? He most sincerely apologizes -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 22:12, Aug 18

OK, I've unblocked him. Tell him to stay well clear of admin trolling in the future. ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 22:31, August 18, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks... err i mean HE says thanks... definitely Not Me. I'm surprised that RDB is still getting that crap... though it is one of the things i most fondly remember from almost a year ago, when i was last active. -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 22:37, Aug 18

Ah, so we're talking about THAT kind of friend. Sorry, it's late and I'm tired. Tell that hypothetical friend that I'll unleash RDB at him next time HE misbehave. ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 22:39, August 18, 2010 (UTC)

Can't we just

infiniban the 92.*.*.* range of addresses, block account creation, and get this over with, seeing how ED now has control over Carphone Warehouse Broadband? Anyone who needs to be unbanned could request via IRC or Emailuser. It's probably not as simple as that, but just a thought. Sir MacMania GUN—[16:56 19 Aug 2010]

I saw one of those 92 guys doing an alright edit once while another 92 was going on a spree so yeah it's probably not so simple. Oh well. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 17:07, August 19, 2010 (UTC)

I can just hack into other networks - BOOM BOOM WTF BBQ! ^_^ (btw: YOUR TOO SLOW!)

Shit guys I think he's right. Well, might as well just delete the whole wiki now. You win, guy. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 17:30, August 19, 2010 (UTC)

if someone really wants to vandalize the site there isn't any stopping them. besides the simple proxies and stuff, there are a ton of wireless networks. Around where I live most are either unprotected or WEP encrypted (so basically unprotected). What we need is to find a way to get one of the military satellites to kill off these bastards. It's the only solution! -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 20:16, Aug 19

Pretty sure I had that discussion with Paizuri somewhere above, we can't really block a whole ISP because the idiot on duty is making some noise. He'll get bored eventually. Also, note to idiot on duty - knowing to switch IPs does not equal hacking. Get a life. ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 19:45, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

Hmm, I just ran over to User:Mordillo/sig4 to revert vandalism to your signature, discovered that you're the vandal. pillow talk 19:54, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

DIVIDE AND CONQUER! ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 19:57, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

Ruddy hell! It's the UnSignpost

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

We're delivering it to your door anyways!

Aug 19thish, 2010 • Issue 92 • Does anyone actually read this bit?

UnReviews - get involved! By UU UnReviews is the latest portal-style page on Uncyclopedia. The brainchild of Skinfan13, and first introduced to the world via this forum, it gathers together all of the reviews that are not pee-related on the wiki into one handy place - verily, it's the page of the future! And it needs YOUR help! Yes, good idea though it seems to be, it does lack one fairly insignificant ingredient - there aren't actually all that many UnReviews to fill it up with. So how can YOU help? Well, we would have thought that was obvious, to be honest, but as we're dealing with Uncyclopedians here, we'll make it a little clearer: write an UnReview! You could go down the road of Modus's magnum opus UnMovie Review: The Dark Knight, and make a movie review, you could get all cultured on our asses, and go Shakespearian, or you could review something else entirely. The choice is, quite literally, yours! Something helpful this way comes By UU Need a hand making your page more awesome? In need of a formatting injection, or some kind of audio enhancement? Well, help may just be at hand. MeepStarLives has decided to create a one-stop portal for all requests of this nature. If this actually works, it could be something beautiful, quite frankly. TKF has already started the ball rolling with a challenging audio request which is likely to be an early acid test for the project. If you have a Casio keyboard and some decent audio skills, get across there and get this thing working! So, how can you get involved? Well, if you are skilled at adding awesome to pages in some way, watchlist the page, check it regularly, and stop hogging your wiki-fu to yourself! If you are in need of added awesomeness on your page, pop in a request and see what happens. If nothing else, it'll make Meep feel good about himself, and that's what it's all about, when you get right down to it. Right?

Check out these pages! Did the leprechaun tell you to burn things? Finally, something worth voting on! Classy! From our logs: 06:45, 12 August 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 66.110.140.189 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Don't blank pages, take drugs, or steal cars) 03:16, 9 August 2010 Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) blocked Roman Dog Bird's Vag Stank (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (probably a troll, although the username could totally be a coincidence) 16:26, 8 August 2010 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Hyperbole (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (taking top spot on the Hall of Shame.....might consider the need for a longer ban.....) Biopic of the Week Perhaps some of you remember Sir Cornbread. I barely do. I do remember how he made the Village Dump smell pleasant...well, as pleasant as the wafting, mixed aromas of stale cornbread and garbage can be. During his tenure at Uncyclopedia, Mr. Cornbread only had two features: rap and The Putz Who Stole Hanukkah. We're certain that if he would've stuck around he'd have 68,027.5 features, putting everyone else to shame but not rubbing it in our faces because I vaguely remember him being a nice guy or something. Now, this sounds ridiculous because Uncyclopedia only has 25,000 or so articles at present, but trust me on this one: this guy could write. Like many great writers, Sir Cornbread wrote about topics he knew a lot about: hermaphrodites, unoriginality, ape-shit craziness, Thais, and was working on an article about ape-shit crazy Thai hermaphrodites. But as is usually the case with all great writers on Uncyclopedia, only the good die leave young early. The ones who stay are just kidding themselves.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticePS3 11:54, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

Cool deletion bro

So why is it cyberbullying? Seems to be a take of This Guy who certainly exists, with an ironic genocidal twist that's certainly no stranger to this wiki. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 09:54, August 22, 2010 (UTC)

I'm just leaving the computer (plus have a very bad connection at current location). I'll send you an email later? ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 09:57, August 22, 2010 (UTC)

Sure. I'm sure that if there's some type of malicious subtext, though, then it isn't evident to an unbiased reader (which most people on this site are). -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 09:59, August 22, 2010 (UTC)

Done. Let me know if you got it. ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 17:57, August 22, 2010 (UTC)

spiked articles

By "drop me a line" about the two spiked UN news articles Mordillo did you mean here or an email  ? ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 08:46, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

Here. Unless stated otherwise talkpages are where you should come to talk about all Uncyc stuff. —PRICK WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [10:36 24 August 2010]

Unless you're banned. Then it's email. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 19:11, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

Mordillo I have tarted up the two articles a bit and they are now bristling with semi embedded photos -would you take a look? can anyone give a potted account of how to add bits into photos for a semi-moron technophobe?

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Phrage/UnNews:Israel_Withdrawing_to_1948_Borders

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Phrage/UnNews:Anne_Frank_Tree_falls_on_Mosque_-Palin_says_it_is_a_Sign

 ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 22:22, August 24, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Pharge, you're still suffring from formatting problems. First thing - you see that Indian chief picture on top? That's the default picture that is placed on any new UnNews article which menas you haven't changed it. Second, your pictures aren't properly placed. It's best to upload the pictures (the option is on the left side menu of the wiki) and then embed them in the article like this:

[[file:filename.extention|center|thumb|200px|caption blah blah]]. You can play with the size and the alignment. There are other issues such as, you don't seem to know how to use the sources templates and the categories. Try to read this, you'll find a very elborate editing guide. ~ Mordillo where is my JERRY? 10:48, August 25, 2010 (UTC)