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New York hobos is the name given to an enigmatic, feral colony of bipedal mammals that can be found loitering about in the slums of the mighty metropolis of New York. While it is not yet definitively known how they came into existence, or the reason for their odd congregations in already densely-populated urban areas, there exists a widely-accepted theory that their demeaning lifestyle of fetid fornication and bathtub gin is at the root. As of the 2010 census, there are an estimated 37,000 New York hobos, the majority of which are of the seemingly-lower caste, distinguished by their darker complexion.
New York hobos are considered to be a true omnivore, much like the common brown rat, and one will consume almost anything, but alcoholic beverages form a substantial part of its diet. A study conducted during the Reagan administration on the diets of the New York hobos came to the conclusion that the most-liked foods of New York hobos were (in order) alcohol, fast food, pizza, macaroni and cheese, rat feces, human feces, and cooked corn kernels. The study also concluded the least-liked foods were apples, raw beets, peaches, and raw celery. (Full article...)
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- ... that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it?
- ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
- ... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
- ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
- ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Brothers movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
- ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,504 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Pig Latin!
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