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The Autoconspiracy 2000 (more commonly known as the Conspiracy Theory Generator) is a top-secret computer program built by the world's most elite historians and computer scientists for the purpose of expanding historical knowledge beyond that which would normally not be achievable by humans. The goal of the program is to map out and eventually solve every historical uncertainty by "Exploring the Infinite Chronoscape" as the program's metadata puts it.
Early versions of the Autoconspiracy can be traced back to prehistoric times, where archaeological records show evidence of some particularly clever cavemen who had studied the natural patterns of moss and of mud to explain the origins of organic material. More refined methods of discovering hidden truths came later, culminating with the final Autoconspiracy version, Autoconspiracy 2000 c. 2000. (Full article...)
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Idday ouyay owknay...
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- ... that Japanese ninjas are among those who have tried to find a way to get across the Great Wall of China? (Pictured)
- ... that solar flares are actually maritime distress signals launched by astronauts floating in the Sun's vast oceans? (Pictured)
- ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
- ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
- ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
- ... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?
- ... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
- ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
- ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
- ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured)
- ... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured)
- ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that if you poke a whale in the tummy it will giggle like a schoolgirl?
- ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
- ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
- ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?
- ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
- ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
- ...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
- ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
- ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
 - ... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
- ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
- ... that Santa sees you while you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake?
- ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you?
- ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
- ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
- ... that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd?
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In the news
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Onay isthay ayday...
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