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Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.

Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.

Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)

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... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured)

... that Japanese ninjas are among those who have tried to find a way to get across the Great Wall of China? (Pictured)

... that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation?
... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty?
... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
... that there is no other word for thesaurus?

... that while I have no idea what this means, all I know is that I just lost my life savings while some other guy just bought his fifth yacht? (Pictured)

... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person?
... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
... that while most Popes don't shit in the woods, sometimes bears are Catholic?
... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?

... that Pope Francis (Pictured) played football for Argentina?

... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?
... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
... that you actually didn't know?

... that there's only a slight difference between you and me? (Pictured)

... that the largest collection of human bullshit is located in the United States Congress?
... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins? But all of them are wiki editors?
... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?

... that 9/11 (Pictured) was an outside job?

... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe?
... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
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... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"?
...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
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... the secret to good advertising is to lie? (Pictured)

... that if you die in Canada, you die in real life?
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... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?
... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?

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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd. Trump talks to America on Iran, Chuck Norris, the Moon, March Madness, and firing Pam Bondi World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • ~~War~~ Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Final Four Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • Duke's basketball season • Jesus Upcoming deaths: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too • Holostars JP UnNewsay – Adioray Eefray Unchlay
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April 4: National No Spamming Day (Iraq) 3141 BC - The world's first great pi was baked. It took $\pi$ years to eat. 1949 - Iceland's blundered declaration of war on the USA leads to the accidental formation of NATO. 1503 - Disneyland Central America opens in the Aztec city of Tenochtitlan. 1975 - You really should have bought shares in Microsoft, which was formed on this day. 1984 - President Ronald Reagan calls for an international ban on something or other, oh hell I can't remember. (Pictured) 2001 - The butterfly effect is proved in an ingenious experiment, causing devastating hurricane damage in China. 2002 - Actor Mickey Rooney begins his process of decomposition. Iewvay omorrowtay – Oremay anniversariesay...

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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