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Orchids are a special family of temptress flowers that bloom around June, totally unlike conservative flowers with upstanding morals and family values. They have delicate bodies, slim stems, and deep orifices, with small follicles emanating from their lower inner region that open up once every 28 days or so to emit a rather fishy yet surprisingly fragrant scent in order to attract insects, which will invade their insides to help pollinate them.
Orchids are considered to be some of the most scrumptious flowers in the plant kingdom, and they are also utterly insatiable. No amount of pollination is enough. Whereas almost all other flowers would be satisfied with one insect pollinator per day, for Orchids, no amount of frequent diverse visitors is enough. They are so good at seduction, bumble bees are known to fight one another to the death in their attempt to mount the stamens of orchids and destroy their tall slender legs in the process. Only the strongest bees with the most cunning, deceptive, and charismatic qualities are able to beat other bees during the frenzied orchid mating season. (Full article...)
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Idday ouyay owknay...
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- ... that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (Pictured)
- ... that tickle fights are a common occurrence in soccer? (Pictured)
- ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
- ... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'?
- ... that Richard Nixon was well-known for his honesty and often referred to as Honest Dick?
- ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
- ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
- ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
- ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
 - ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
- ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
- ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
- ... that you actually didn't know?
- ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
- ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian?
- ... that the WWF is the only "sports entertainment" organization endorsed by PETA and Greenpeace? (Pictured)
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
- ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
- ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
- ... that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
- ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
- ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
- ... that Burger King briefly attempted to introduce traditional British cuisine in the US? (Pictured)
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In the news
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Onay isthay ayday...
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March 26: Fast Food Day (U.S.)
- 1845 - Fast food, then called fasting from food, is invented in Ireland: millions starve due to new trend.
- 1940 - First McDonald's restaurant opens in San Bernardino, California, life expectancy drops to levels unseen since the Civil War.
- 1965 - Fox in Socks, the first depiction of a modern-day rap battle, is published by Dr. Seuss.
- 1994 - After complaints from vegans, McDonald's switches from beef fat to vegetable oil for their fries, vegans celebrate, give money to company that kills millions of cows.
- 1997 - Someone orders an iced coffee from Starbucks, destroys the economies of three South American countries.
- 2011 - McDonald's attempts to make Happy Meals healthier, billions of apple slices rot inside their teeny plastic bags.
- 2016 - New FCC regulations on misleading advertising forces Carl's Jr. to release new 30 second ad of a fat man crying, alone.
- 2018 - Wendy's delivers epic clapback against dumb bitch on twitter with sesame seed allergy.
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