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WASHINGTON, D.C. – Following air strikes on Caracas and the successful capture of Venezuelan president Nicolás Maduro, Donald Trump was given yet another Nobel Peace Prize for his commendable work of putting an end to the war he started approximately three hours ago. This tallies his Nobel prizes to fifteen so far (three in one year) which is an accomplishment as it is only a yearly award.
Chief of Staff Susie Wiles lamented the lack of shelf space to store all of Trump's numerous Nobel Peace Prizes (all of them legitimate and certified Swedish). This was the real motivation for adding a ballroom extension to the White House, in part to throw lavish parties in a time of economic struggle, but also for a place to store all of Trump's Nobel prizes.
Marco Rubio, a devout Christian, was seen pacing the grounds of what was once the White House Rose Garden (now a ballroom storage space for prizes), masturbating furiously to an AI-generated image of Havana burning. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Idday ouyay owknay...
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- ... that 9/11 (Pictured) was an outside job?
- ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty?
- ... that you just lost the Game?
- ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
- ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
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In the news
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Onay isthay ayday...
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Oday'stay eaturedfay icturepay
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Thermopylae was the top selling board game of the 5th Century BCE. Players compete to acquire wealth through stylized politico-economic activity involving the buying, rental, and trading of real estate using play drachma and bartering, whilst gathering groups of Perioikoi and Helots to work your land, as players take turns moving around the board according to the roll of the dice.
Image credit: Mhaille
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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