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Platinum is an extremely expensive, yet highly ordinary metal. It is essentially one of over ninety silverly metals. Gold and Copper, the colorful ones, are the envy of Platinum to no end. Then why is it so expensive? Because Platinum is literally the most anti-social metal ever. It refuses to react with anything, even Halogens, and almost every single acid known to science can not even stain it. One thing that can react with it is Aqua Regia, meaning royal water. It is arrogantly so named because it can react with the kings of metals Gold and Platinum. Talk about ego!

Platinum is commonly used by people in high grade laboratory equipment and in jewelry for people who consider themselves too posh to use common gold jewelry. It can also be found residing in the Earth's crust at a concentration of roughly one part per billion. Platinum is the 78th element of the periodic table, it is derived from the Latin word "Platina" which literally means "Little silver", despite costing roughly 60 times more than silver. (Full article...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

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Idday ouyay owknay...

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  • ... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
  • ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
  • ... that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography?
  • ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
  • ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
  • ... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny?
  • ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
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  • …that it’s offensive to call them “black pencils” and we should call them “pencils of colour isntead”?
  • ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
  • ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
  • ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?
  • ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050?
  • ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
  • ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
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  • ... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured)
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  • ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)
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  • ... that silent radio (Pictured) existed before regular radio?
  • ... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
  • ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
  • ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
  • ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
  • ... the muffin man?
  • ... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny?
  • ... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era?
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  • ... that Wikipedia contains millions of articles written by countless anonymous contributors? (Pictured)
  • ... Donald Trump? More like... Donald Gay! Hah, gottem!
  • ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?
  • ... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
  • ... that I think you know what's happening today?
  • ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
  • ... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
  • ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?

In the news

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1977-2026

Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota • Fallout from the Epstein FilesWinter OlympicsSeattle flooding the streets with Starbucks coffee to celebrate the Seahawks' win • New England Patriots fans hiding in a corner after being exposed • r/TheDarnold having a MASSIVE field day

Recent deaths: Scott AdamsKianna UnderwoodUncyclopediaCatherine O'HaraLamontBrad ArnoldNFL season • New England Patriots fans' insufferability, for now • Lindsay Vonn's legSome kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny titleJames Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) (Pictured)

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek)

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • WeedDick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again

Onay isthay ayday...

Mmm crunchy.

February 15: It Just Got Out Of Hand Day

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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