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Foreign accent syndrome is a rare psychiatric disorder that, in its milder form, causes people it affects to pronounce words in a foreign accent. The disorder usually follows a brain injury caused by non-perforating head trauma, as perforating head trauma is much too gory for a proper mental illness. In extreme cases, victims of FAS can actually acquire knowledge of the foreign language associated with their new accent, slang terms and humorous exaggerated versions of national stereotypes included. A victim who develops a Lithuanian accent might acquire the Lithuanian language, tell other people to "Laizhyk asilo shikna", piss on bottles of Švyturys Ekstra, and date his sister.
As of the present, there is no known cure or treatment for FAS, and scientists have yet to completely unravel how the disorder works. People afflicted with the disorder are usually shunned within their community and turned into social pariahs. Fortunately, there are government sponsored programs that let victims of FAS assimilate in foreign countries where their accents are accepted. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Idday ouyay owknay...
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- ... that Burger King briefly attempted to introduce traditional British cuisine in the US? (Pictured)
- ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
- ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
- ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
- ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
- ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
- ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
- ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
- ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
- ... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra?
- ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
- ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno?
- ... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
- ... that the bird is equal to or greater than the word?
- ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
- ... that AMC's hit series Breaking Bad Wind (Pictured) featured the actors' real farts?
   - ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
- ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
- ... that if you say peacock, no one bats an eye, but if you say poopcock, everyone blows their minds?
- ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
- ... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?
- ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
- ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
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In the news
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Onay isthay ayday...
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March 1: International Grue Day
- 1950 - Grues are first discovered living under couch cushions and inside tumble dryers.
- 1964 - Grue farmers release a whole colony of Grues into the wild, to hunt them for their silky and fragrant hide.
- 1972 - Louisiana Grue hunter and businessman Phil Robertson invents the Grue Call a whistle which imitates the dulcet mating call of the Grue.
- 1974 - While protesting the selling of Grue hide, one hippie is accidentally eaten by a Grue. It was a one time thing, they only do that when they're hungry.
- 1981 - The Grue population enters a rapid decline due to overhunting and a government campaign to vilify the grue.
- 1999 - The Grue Relations through Understanding and Empathy (GRUE) organization is formed to combat harmful memes about Grues and their supposed danger to society.
- 2001 - GRUE are all eaten by grues.
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