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40,187 articlesay inay Englishay
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There you are - forty-one years old, single, on your way home from work. It's been a long day. It's a Monday, or a Wednesday, and you've got plenty more days left just like this one. So to cheer yourself up, you stop at the local candy shop. You make your selection carefully. Pear drops, rhubarb and custard, the lovely little chocolate mice - whatever you like. You spend the loose change in your pocket and feel good about yourself. You leave the shop, delve your hand in the bag, and then...
You see them. They're coming. Your oh-so-friendly neighbour and her oh-so-evil son. How old is he? He's got to be at least 3, right? Why the hell is he still in a pushchair? Probably too fat to walk. And then you realise...
Quick, you think. Hide the candy. You try to stuff it in your pockets, but it's too late. You've drawn attention to yourself. The mother smiles - pity she's got a boyfriend - but her fat baby has noticed the little white bag. "Hello," he thinks, "I'll have some of that." With time running out, you swing the bag behind your back, but the mother notices. And now she's stopped! This is getting out of hand! (Full article...)
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Idday ouyay owknay...
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- ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
- ... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives?
- ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
- ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
- ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
- ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
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In the news
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Sly Stallone
(1946-Present)
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Onay isthay ayday...
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Oday'stay eaturedfay icturepay
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Iterwray anday Oobnay ofay ethay Onthmay
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,187 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Igpay Atinlay!:
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