User talk:EMC/archive14
So, that biopic[edit source]
Can you deliver by tomorrow? --UU - natter 09:41, Jul 7
- Thanks muchly. Now, you get to specify who gets the next bio treatment. They can't have been profiled before - otherwise, anyone with an account is fair game. Who do you suggest? --UU - natter 13:51, Jul 7
Question[edit source]
Hi. You sent me a welcome message three months ago. That was when I wrote this question which is still unanswered. Does that mean that you here have no possibilities and/or interest in a cooperation at the moment? --Smilo12 17:09, July 8, 2010 (UTC)
- Thank you very much for your quick answer. We had a discussion about merging some time ago but it came to no result. I think currently a merger would be the second step. But to show the community's support shouldn't be a great problem. I'll come back to you when that's done ;-) --Smilo12 19:48, July 9, 2010 (UTC)
Hello, I'm back and here is the result of our poll: [1] (The statement means something like "I agree that Stupidedia joins the international Uncyclopedia network"). So what's next? --Smilo12 14:38, July 17, 2010 (UTC)
- Stupidedia is hosted by Hetzner.de (therefore non-Wikia) and the German Uncyclopedia will be informed. We will tell you about their answer. --Smilo12 19:47, July 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Hi. As you know, the poll in the German Uncyclopedia didn't quite went as expected. So do you already have an idea how a compromise could look like? --Smilo12 11:13, July 28, 2010 (UTC)
- We talked again and I think we can agree on this solution: Stupidedia and Uncyclopedia.de won't link to each other, but all other languages can feel free to introduce links to us. The Dutch Oncyclopedia has already promised us to do so. In the said discussion, the most arguments brought up against it are kind of incomprehensible for me. The main point was that they didn't want to link to us because they think that we are too colorful and have too much nonsense. They think they wouldn't profit from our links to them because the clientele is another and their quality might decrease (?!). Also, one user mentioned that he made bad experiences with us because there were many trolls and bad users whom came from us to them. Yeah, I think these are the main points. --Smilo12 13:02, July 28, 2010 (UTC)
Hi EMC! I'm another admin to Stupidedia and since Smilodon is one lucky boy and thus on vacation, I was sent to continue the conversation ;-) Thanks a bunch for your work to get us integrated so far! Of course we're not too happy with how it went/goes on de.uncy but I hope there will eventually be a solution nonetheless. The main reason for me writing to you is that the language code "bavarian" does not really fit Stupidedia. Bavarian is a distinct dialect in German which is why people speaking German would expect something that is Bavarian when they click on a link that says so. In fact, Stupidedia is entirely German (in language! *g*) which is why it would be great if we could establish another code, say [[stu:]] with the title "Deutsch (Stupidedia)" to distinguish the two German wikis? What are necessary steps in order to do so? Looking forward to your answer, --Bernardissimo 19:32, July 31, 2010 (UTC)
- Okay, so all we need to do is wait? When do you think the interwiki-links will be made available? And what does interlanguage-linking mean? (I mentioned Bavarian since that is what Stupidedia is filed in here.) Thanks again, --Bernardissimo 21:12, July 31, 2010 (UTC)
- Sorry, did you read the message above this one? --Bernardissimo 15:21, August 6, 2010 (UTC)
- Hi there, we've started linking to other languages - are there any news as to when the other direction will be possible? By the way: personally, I would prefer "Deutsch (Stupidedia)" to "Stupidedia (Deutsch)" because "D" will be the letter people looking for German will head to... --Bernardissimo 17:08, August 13, 2010 (UTC)
- Sorry, did you read the message above this one? --Bernardissimo 15:21, August 6, 2010 (UTC)
- Heyho. Are there any news about this issue? We got links in the Dutch and the Portuguese wikis, but since then nothing happened. --Smilo12 18:24, December 27, 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks for your efforts! --Smilo12 22:12, December 27, 2010 (UTC)
Signpost: normal service resumed[edit source]
Woop Woop! it's the sound of the Police UnSignpost!
Jul 8th, 2010 • Issue 88 • Hand-stitched for comfort
Conservation week: how's it going, and what is it anyway?
Conservation week has been running since autumn 2007, starting life in Jocke Pirat's userspace, and spending a confused few hours being called the rewrite-a-thon in an early attempt to get around the whole week-fortnight thing. The first iteration was a resounding success, and about 38 people signed up to rewrite over 50 articles (with Zombiebaron hilariously missing the point and going on a deletion spree instead), making the current iteration look like it has some work to do. However, there was no quality control at the outset - if an article was rewritten in any way, that was deemed good enough. Some of those early articles may well have been made worse, we just don't know (or can't be bothered to check). Quality control arrived later on, when erstwhile gentleman editor of this very organ Gerrycheevers stepped up to run the first 2009 CW, and ran the rule over all the rewrites personally, so that the attendant award was only bestowed on those doing quality rewrites. That task this year falls to Dexter111344, who has promised to be "harsh but harsh". Probably. So, with a prize on offer to the person with the most high quality rewrites, and plenty of time left in which to do said rewrites, the only question left is: "why haven't you entered yet"? We asked this question of one completely random user, and he exclusively told us "because I'm busy writing this week's issue of the UnSignpost, duh!" Image Request: A Retrospective
Established in March 2005 by a user called Machinecurse, this page has been the domain of most of the legends of Uncyc image manipulation at one time or another - as one 'chopper has left, another has arisen to take their place, in some kind of Potatochop Royal Succession stylee. Or something. Whatever, the likes of Paulgb, Zombiebaron, Seeker, Sonje and, more recently, KneeChee27 and MeepStarLives have slaved over hot image editing software to fulfil the esoteric image requirements of the Uncyclopedia populace. The response time has always varied on the page, as it largely depends on how active the 'choppers are at the time, how achievable the requests actually are, and how polite the request is. But for those with a little patience, it is undoubtedly a useful resource in the ongoing quest for that perfect image of Mario and Master Chief riding Pikachu down the Death Star Trench run. Or something. Have a look at the gallery to see some of the more recent work. |
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Oh dear god, am I really doing this again? --UU - natter 11:00, Jul 9
Bios[edit source]
If you want to provide more nostalgic biopics for the USP, please be my guest. The names you've suggested sound good to me, so knock yourself out. If you don't think you're going to get to it, please let me know so I can "enlist" some other "volunteer". Thanks! --UU - natter 09:03, Jul 12
Another UnSignpost! Rejoice![edit source]
The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11
Jul 15th, 2010 • Issue 89 • Made with 100% recycled vuvuzelas
The 40+ club expands
We asked them all for quotes, and Mhaille exclusively told us: ""Go eat more shit, fuckers"...obviously I am excited to have reached the BIG 4-0, and am delighted that enough of my peers deem the quality of my work good enough to have reached that figure, although I have to say I'm a little pissed that at least 10 other of my articles are feature-worthy and are constant overlooked (lengthy bans will ensue, I'm sure), I am equally as proud of my featured images, as well as many of my other contributions that I hope that my peers feel have augmented the work of others. That I am still here after five long years, and still contributing says something about Uncyclopedia itself. What that is, I wouldn't like to speculate. But sometimes you have to in order to accumulate. Apparently." Which is such a long quote we're going to need at least one blatant filler box in the right-hand panel. Bastard. Meanwhile, Modus exclusively told us "It's not that myself and Mhaille have written so very many great and fantastic pages that have, and will continue to, entertain the people for years to come. It's just that Mhaille did. "I" am one of his many sockpuppets. He writes as "Modusoperandi" when he needs a page without a "foreign" accent. Look around. There are a bunch more Mhaille sockpuppets here, too. Hyperbole, for one. Mhaille is like a wet Mogwai." Which is more concise, and therefore OK. Finally, Hype exclusively commented: "I'd like to say thank you to Uncyclopedia for voting to feature my many excellent, high-quality articles, including the drunken insistence that you accept a diseased poodle, the song about having sex with sporting goods, and the blatantly racist tirade about having to wait too long for a Pee Review. Writing 39.5 features has been literally the most important accomplishment I will ever have in my life. I look forward to continuing to service each and every one of you in the future." Which was nice of him. So, the burning question now has to be: who will be first to 50? Modus obviously has the lead, but Mhaille is writing in greater volume than he has for some time, and if Hype keeps up the pace, he's probably a good bet. But they're not the only candidates - Sog is coming up the rails rapidly, and could reach the 40 mark even quicker than Hype - could he overtake the lot of them? The only thing certain is that with these guys around, Uncyc should be assured of some half-decent articles amongst the dross. World Cup over - Romartus struggling for UnNews inspiration
The scourge of Junior Uncyclopedia has discovered his muse in the planet's biggest sporting event, and has been cranking out UnNews articles on the subject at an alarming rate. Now, without Jabulani balls, biting tackles and Messi long shots to inspire him, what is there to inspire him to maintain such prolific standards? Suspicions abound that the Tour De France is passing him by, he seems far too English to care about the various draft and transfer shenanigans in the NFL and NBA and the like, and as the only story to emerge from golf's Open Championship so far is Tiger Woods changing his putter (wow, someone hold me back), that seems unlikely to unleash his inner news-hound. With a worrying lack of global sporting tournaments on the horizon, will we have to wait another 4 years for the next Romartus article splurge? Stay tuned to UnNews to find out! |
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10:24, 16 July 2010
Quick note of thanks[edit source]
for the reverts and Ban Patrol report while I was distracted and lost. No need to reply, nothing to see here, this note is probably unnecessary clutter, let's move along. Sir MacMania GUN—[04:00 18 Jul 2010]
- Are you upset that there wasn't a page created called "MacMania Can Suck My Dick"? --EMC [TALK] 04:01 Jul 18 2010
- I was waiting for that, you know. My 15-minute brush with, er, whatever you call that. But someone (gosh, I can never spell that name right, and that's the only point on which I feel for the vandal) would just have added in a picture of Nixon (wait, that's supposed to be a pun?! I didn't realise that 'til now). Still ... my 15-minute brush will now never be. Darn you, Sannse. Sir MacMania GUN—[04:22 18 Jul 2010]
- We spoke too soon. --EMC [TALK] 04:29 Jul 18 2010
- Too true. Thanks for getting that on QVFD! Catch you later— Sir MacMania GUN—[04:30 18 Jul 2010]
- [catches breath] Don't mind me, I'm just reflecting. Troll ... in the dungeons ... thought you ought to know. [collapses] Sir MacMania GUN—[04:55 18 Jul 2010]
- Shit. I'm all out of Phoenix Downs too. --EMC [TALK] 04:56 Jul 18 2010
- How unfortunate, old chap, I appear to be completely out of Compton. And with me hoping to have a romantic night in with the local constabulary..... -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
- Shit. I'm all out of Phoenix Downs too. --EMC [TALK] 04:56 Jul 18 2010
- We spoke too soon. --EMC [TALK] 04:29 Jul 18 2010
- I was waiting for that, you know. My 15-minute brush with, er, whatever you call that. But someone (gosh, I can never spell that name right, and that's the only point on which I feel for the vandal) would just have added in a picture of Nixon (wait, that's supposed to be a pun?! I didn't realise that 'til now). Still ... my 15-minute brush will now never be. Darn you, Sannse. Sir MacMania GUN—[04:22 18 Jul 2010]
Sir MacMania GUN—[22:15 19 Jul 2010]
The template that I'll never change[edit source]
Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.
I, like, appreciate your support, or something.
—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:46, July 20, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks[edit source]
I want to thank you for voting for on my article Dear Mr. Hornet.-- 18:33, July 20, 2010 (UTC)
Bio[edit source]
So, you gonna get on one of those for us this week, or do I clobber someone else? --UU - natter 09:01, Jul 21
Read all about it! The UnSignpost rides again![edit source]
83.54% more reliable than The Daily Mail
Jul 22nd, 2010 • Issue 90 • Suddenly, Signpost!
UnNews hits warp factor Whore
That bastard child of Uncyclopedia and WikiNews, UnNews, is in full-on whoring mode. Tired of being relegated to the bilge hold of Uncyc, staff have collectively and to a man, woman or it, decided to resort to the time-honored tradition of whoring themselves for attention. 2010 is shaping up to be a record year for lots of stuff, which I am too lazy to actually reference. We've had lots of cool coding happenings, resulting in a facelift to the Main Page, and a really cool navigation bar giving access to a plethora (well, 7 sections in fact) of sections including Sports, Comics, Editorials, and special coverage of the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Contributors to UnNews of note are Funnybony, SPIKE, Romartus, Modusoperandi, Mordillo, Multiliteralist, PuppyOnTheRadio, Happytimes, Matt lobster and MrN9000 (when the bugger's here). Apologies to anybody I've missed. The Newsroom, home to nefarious plots and odd ideas, has once again become an active core of resistance against Uncyc's unofficial policy of ignoring us. Always leading edge, UnNews is acquiring a stable of notable personalities for a new series of Uncolumns called "Reductio ad Hitlerum", a guest column that invites persons of note to do an article for us, usually under threat of blackmail. Discussion here, first RaH column here by guest Sarah Palin. Techno gets Mhaille'd
The award is, unusually on vote-happy Uncyclopedia, not decided on by voting, but is bestowed at the sole discretion of feature-monster, bureaucrat, whoring legend and token Liverpool fan Mhaille, according to his own criteria. Looking down the list of previous winners - Shandon, ENeGMA, Tompkins, Zombiebaron, Prettiestpretty, Savethemooses and the rest, it's pretty clear that the good Rabbi is a) in good company, and b) not going to be here much longer. |
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--ChiefjusticePS3 14:06, July 22, 2010 (UTC)
So It Is Done...[edit source]
...to the point I'm ready for comments/additions/changes, if you have the time...--Sir Shandon (Talk) (Trophy Room) 15:08, July 25, 2010 (UTC)
new poster[edit source]
Lordarcadian 15:52, July 26, 2010 (UTC)
DO NOT USE COPYRIGHTED WORK WITHOUT PERMISSION OF COPYRIGHT HOLDER: DO NOT SUBMIT COPYRIGHTED WORK WITHOUT PERMISSION!
Re that pic[edit source]
It was just kind of creepy, didn't show up right (his head was being sliced open by the search bar), and was also blocking navigation bar items on loading. As I said in the edit summary, you're perfectly free to revert to restore it, and if you do, I won't interfere. I'm only a low-lifer around these parts anyway. Sir MacMania GUN—[15:23 28 Jul 2010]
- Guess I've moved up to middle-lifer since I last checked. From the right was actually what I was thinking, since there's less stuff to be intruded upon that way. I just didn't know if that would have been possible, but evidently it is, so yes. Make it so. Glad I'm not, er, whatever you would have called me— Sir MacMania GUN—[15:36 28 Jul 2010]
Re: Constipation[edit source]
It warms my heart to see you remember me. Of course, that may just be my bowels acting up. Written anything good? --Señor DiZtheGreat CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 19:44, July 28, 2010 (UTC)
- Aww, I was hoping one of my followers would take up the torch after I left. Maybe I should have trained them to write proper articles instead of having them get my coffee. They made terrible coffee, too. Always tasted like spit. --Señor DiZtheGreat CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 19:57, July 28, 2010 (UTC)
Hi there![edit source]
You seem like a pretty cool guy. Would you care to adopt me? I'm a huge fan of butterflies and chocolate. Also, I have boobs. I think that qualifies, right? (BobaSmurfette)
Sure. It's the internet. Why not? BobaSmurfette 05:13, July 30, 2010 (UTC)
- If you like anal, then I'll have to redirect you to this adopter per their request. Good luck (bring a condom). --EMC [TALK] 05:15 Jul 30 2010
I tried to contact him, but he isn't responding. Plus, there's a thingy on his page that says he's on vacation. I really hope not. (Nevermind, he's there) BobaSmurfette 05:29, July 30, 2010 (UTC)
Re:thnx2u[edit source]
:D. Thanks! Manyman 01:43, August 1, 2010 (UTC)
Where's my money?[edit source]
Bitch.User:Mrthejazz/sig 02:55, August 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Delay, but with a funny story. Because I never use mail, I put my own address in the center and your address in the top left hand corner. I was also drunk at the time. And being attacked by bees. Needless to say, it was sent back to my mailbox with a note from the postman saying "10th one this week". --EMC [TALK] 02:59 Aug 1 2010
- I was going to use that money to pay my bookie. I guess now I'll have to charge interest for the medical bills from my broken shins, and it's ALL YOUR FAULT. User:Mrthejazz/sig 03:01, August 1, 2010 (UTC)
- My bad dude. But hey...where do stamps go again? --EMC [TALK] 03:02 Aug 1 2010
- The same place everything you own goes. Up the butt. User:Mrthejazz/sig 03:09, August 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Be right back, gotta go feed my cat. --EMC [TALK] 03:21 Aug 1 2010
- Ollie told me you weren't joking. You are a sad human being. User:Mrthejazz/sig 14:12, August 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Be right back, gotta go feed my cat. --EMC [TALK] 03:21 Aug 1 2010
- The same place everything you own goes. Up the butt. User:Mrthejazz/sig 03:09, August 1, 2010 (UTC)
- My bad dude. But hey...where do stamps go again? --EMC [TALK] 03:02 Aug 1 2010
- I was going to use that money to pay my bookie. I guess now I'll have to charge interest for the medical bills from my broken shins, and it's ALL YOUR FAULT. User:Mrthejazz/sig 03:01, August 1, 2010 (UTC)
It's new and it's news! It's the latest UnSignpost![edit source]
All your readers are belong to us
Aug 5th, 2010 • Issue 91 • I love it when the news comes together
VFD minimum time limit introduced
Further to that, the minimum score required for deletion is in the process of being clarified, so that either a score of at least +5 in favour of deletion will be required before the trigger-happy admins fire up their huffing devices, or 5 keep votes will automatically exempt an article from deletion. One of those. Probably. The number 5 seems certain to be involved, whatever the outcome. Hopefully, this will ensure that BUTT POOP is never deleted again. At least, such is our understanding. Sorry about that. We will now follow this with an article with no relation to news whatsoever, to try and make it up to you. Uncyc Fantasy Football draft off to racing start
So far, the results have surpassed the expectations of all except noted optimist Bradaphraser. Three days in, and seven of the record fourteen competitors have picked a single player each, making this the slowest process since BP started trying to cap that goddamn oil leak. This year's competition promises to be more open than the last, including as it does Joe9320, who admits to knowing nothing about the sport, preferring AFL, and noted British namby-pamby "soccer" fan UU, who has somehow agreed to become an Indianapolis Colts fan for the duration of the season. Hence his adding a picture of what he is assured is the awesome Peyton Manning into this very article. With the likes of the here-one-week-gone-for-a-month Gerrycheevers also involved in the process, it could well end up taking long enough to be ready by the start of the 2011-12 season. |
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16:08, 5 August 2010
I finally got the PLS money[edit source]
Now I just need to decide what to do with it. Here are the options I'm considering:
- Buy 50,000 shares of BP stock
- Beer
- Tape it to my nipples
Probably going with number 3.
User:Mrthejazz/sig 02:57, August 14, 2010 (UTC)
- The real gift was the revelation about the size of my cock. --EMC [TALK] 04:02 Aug 14 2010
- The real 'question is, is it flat like an envelope too? User:Mrthejazz/sig 13:44, August 14, 2010 (UTC)
ADOPT ME[edit source]
please? i am prety new..
RE: RE: ADOPT ME[edit source]
I read them. and, how do you make things appear when you roll over something? and how do you censor things?--i am poiz,i am 173.49.239.254, but i have multiple computers. 19:17, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
- i mean, when you roll over it, something appears. when the cursor move`s off, the thing dissapears.--i am poiz,i am 173.49.239.254, but i have multiple computers. 19:17, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
Ruddy hell! It's the UnSignpost[edit source]
Because Uncyclopedia is no laughing matter.
Aug 19thish, 2010 • Issue 92 • Does anyone actually read this bit?
UnReviews - get involved!
So how can YOU help? Well, we would have thought that was obvious, to be honest, but as we're dealing with Uncyclopedians here, we'll make it a little clearer: write an UnReview! You could go down the road of Modus's magnum opus UnMovie Review: The Dark Knight, and make a movie review, you could get all cultured on our asses, and go Shakespearian, or you could review something else entirely. The choice is, quite literally, yours! Something helpful this way comes
TKF has already started the ball rolling with a challenging audio request which is likely to be an early acid test for the project. If you have a Casio keyboard and some decent audio skills, get across there and get this thing working! So, how can you get involved? Well, if you are skilled at adding awesome to pages in some way, watchlist the page, check it regularly, and stop hogging your wiki-fu to yourself! If you are in need of added awesomeness on your page, pop in a request and see what happens. If nothing else, it'll make Meep feel good about himself, and that's what it's all about, when you get right down to it. Right? |
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--ChiefjusticePS3 12:08, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
HEY![edit source]
HOW DO YOU MAKE AN OBJECT APPEAR WHEN THE MOUSE GOES OVER IT? AND DISSAPEAR WHEN IT GETS OFF? Sorry, i was agrevated at having no responce.--i am poiz,i am 173.49.239.254, but i have multiple computers. 19:51, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
RE:HEY[edit source]
figured it out, but how do you make pages your sig?--i am poiz,i am 173.49.239.254, but i have multiple computers. 21:36, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
- i used a workaround -- Poiz, 16:53, August 29, 2010 (UTC)
Preciate ya[edit source]
User:Mrthejazz/templatespecialaudio
Hey, appreciate your advice and vote on Beige. Ben Stein thanks you. In fact, he made another audio just for the pro voters. User:Mrthejazz/sig 03:23, August 28, 2010 (UTC)
Bob[edit source]
Can you edit Bob? I kneed more pictures and bible-related things. Cheers! Gomphog 18:59, September 8, 2010 (UTC)
UnSignpost - This is definitely not late; you're just drunk[edit source]
The Newspaper 4 out of 5 Dentists Agree On!
Sept 9th, 2010 • Issue 93 • Our definition of "weekly" may not match yours
The pee is weak - must be time for Pee Week!
Yes, it would appear to be nearly time for the inaugural Uncyclopedia Pee Week! It starts on Monday 13th September. So, the questions must be asked:
If the answer to at least one of those questions is "yes", you could be on your way to winning this soon-to-be prestigious competition! Just sign up here, and prepare to review as you've never reviewed before! The best of the 5.5 years super-extravaganza begins!
That's right, on the fifth of every month, a new vote will start to determine the best somethingorother of the 5.5 years that Uncyc has been in existence. This month's vote is already open, and it's for the writer of the 5.5 years. So get over there, vote, and make your voice heard! Again. Asked for his feelings on seeing his brainchild getting off the ground like this, TKF exclusively told us: "My grand-uncle used to tell me "He who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth, may not come forth on the fifth!" and I feel that's somehow relevant to this situation." Anyone pointing out that by the time this finishes, Uncyclopedia will be around 6 years old will be asked not to point it out again. UnNews main page
Someone suggested to completely revamp the UnNews main page and in an epic move of Uncyclopedia originality, decided to hold a vote on it. Some people farted. |
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MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 12:57, September 9, 2010 (UTC)
UnNews:UnNewsAudio[edit source]
Stylistic differences aside, it is not a "more accurate title." The list is not the "UnNews team"; it is the UnNews audio team. Spıke ¬ 12:59 10-Sep-10
- "Broadcast staff" is redundant if the section is titled "Audio team". That's why I changed it. --EMC [TALK] 13:01 Sep 10 2010
No, it isn't, as the Audio team includes both broadcasters and writers, the "Other writers whose stuff got broadcast" listed in the following section. The problem is the impression that Section 2 covers something broader than audios. Likewise, it is linked to as "The Team" on the new Front Page, when it is not the team, just one department, and again, there is already a nearby link to the UnNews Audio page. Spıke ¬ 13:41 10-Sep-10
There's no way to disprove this assertion on everyone listed there--but every change I've made or seen this year has concerned only Audio. I would not mind if there were such a list; but this is UnNews:UnNewsAudio. Spıke ¬ 23:26 10-Sep-10
- UnNews team appears to include a lot of inactive users. What's the point or do they just stay there, like all the admins? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:29, September 12, 2010 (UTC)
I've thought about creating an "Emeritus" section at the bottom; that might make the multi-column part more manageable. But I don't know who's who, and wouldn't want to take anyone off the featured list unless they're really gone--like, from the whole site, for a year or more. That the list is headed by the Founder suggests that it is to honor past contributions and not just present ones. Spıke ¬ 12:17 12-Sep-10
Hitler[edit source]
Seems that the article has gone radical changes since it was featured. The easiest would be just to revert it to its featured version - but since it's your piece, you want to look at it to see what changes you like and what you want to discard? ~ 15:14, September 18, 2010 (UTC)
my userpage[edit source]
do you like my zork-styled userpage?
|-|0\/\/ j00 3/\/\|33|)!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?![edit source]
|-|0\/\/?!?!?!10101010101010101!!!!!!--
20:12, October 23, 2010 (UTC)UnSignpost - The UnSignpost Rides Again![edit source]
In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!
Nov 11th, 2010 • Issue 94 • The Newspaper that shaves you closer!
The UnSignpost Rides Again!
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, the Rebels attained victory over the Imperial Empire and the last UnSignpost flopped onto talk pages. The drought came as Under user announced that he had a life to be getting on with, and at that point the UnSignpost simply stopped writing itself. Some people have suggested that these two events may be linked somehow, but until we see proof, we have resolved to live in ignorance. However as we hurtle towards the end of the year it would seem the magic has returned and the newspaper that confusingly contains neither news or paper will once again be arriving on talk pages Newer recipients of the UnSignpost are urged to suggest ideas for stories in the press room; this helps as it means we don't need to pay attention to anything you people do every day. For now, please welcome the UnSignpost back into your homes and hearts... please? Speak up!
Competition founder MadMax was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press, so we have made something up instead: "The competition was a great success and I would like to thank everyone who took part; especially ChiefjusticeDS who is absolutely fantastic and whom I owe many drinks", he might have said. The Article Whisperer is expected to take place again next year, and MadMax might have said "Take part or die", but probably not. The Aristocrat's Few competitions stir the loins more than The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball, self described as Uncyclopedia's festival of frivolity and bad taste. The competition has three categories:
If you aren't a writer (we are led to believe some people are not), then 3 Judges are needed for each of the above categories (see here). Seriously, this will be so much fun you will wish we did it twice a year... maybe. The competition opens on November 19th, so put on a stout pair of writing trousers and get going! |
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Read All About It![edit source]
The Newspaper Made Entirely From Recycled Internet Memes
Nov 18th, 2010 • Issue 95 • The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way she/he did!
Wanna cyb3r?
Hailed by some as the final solution to the Uncyclopedia problem and others as a wretched hive of scum and villainy, the Uncyclopedia IRC channel has chugged along for almost the same amount of time Uncyclopedia itself has. We here at the UnSignpost have literally hundreds of stories to sort through every week and we have picked IRC for a reason, and not just because it is easy to spell. We chose it because the Uncyclopedia IRC is a community and often contains users who are never on the site (because they are lazy and idle), equally many users who frequent the site do not enter IRC (because they are idle and lazy), and those who do often prefer to do so in disguise. This is a disgrace, don't ask why, it just is. Our intrepid reporters have spent literally minutes on IRC this week in order to bring news of it to you, the uneducated and unwashed masses and to try and encourage you to make use of it. Whatever you want to use it for: reporting vandals, penis jokes, collaboration, penis jokes and incoherent babbling; IRC is there for you. It is also a way to get to know the dull uninteresting personalities behind the exciting usernames, but don't let that put you off. When our intrepid reporter delved into the IRC community and asked the first person breathing in and out for a quote about IRC they told us "..." which should certainly give you food for thought. If you have some time on your hands then why not learn how to windsurf? But if you are too idle and lazy then why not head on over to IRC and see the magic happening for yourself? I would and if I would it must be a good idea. Balls up!
The stage is seated, the judges are set and the competitors are questionable in number, yes The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball is almost upon us. The competition opens this Friday and entries will be accepted until December the 3rd which is... a little while after that. Our hard-hitting journalists will be present at the competition and will be speaking to entrants and judges alike over the next few weeks. Just think; if you take part your name could be in italic font in the UnSignpost! Think about how envious your friends and family will be! Remember, it begins on the 19th of November and we want to see blood! We need you!
The UnSignpost is like an office printer, in that it constantly breaks down, sometimes doesn't work for months at a time and occasionally spews out some slightly smudged pages. If you think you have something to bring to the UnSignpost be it your journalistic talent, ideas for stories or even just a warm and reassuring slap in the face, feel free to drop us a line in the press room. Also Meganew wanted us to mention the Grue Army in the UnSignpost, so we have. |
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UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox |
--ChiefjusticePS3 14:26, November 18, 2010 (UTC)
The economic effects of retarded babies[edit source]
I dunno how much heed you've paid to what's happened around here since you've been banned, but The economic effects of retarded babies went through VFH and whatnot and just got featured and whatnot, and this rather annoyed me for various rather boring reasons. The point is, I have now reviewed it in protest, and am now contacting all three of the original authors that I could figure out in the hopes that one or some or all of you might be willing to heed or at least consider what I have said and work on the piece post-feature and get it as good as it should be. So, for when you return, the review is here; please at least look. And don't hurt me. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101122 - 04:06 (UTC)
Run for your lives! It's another UnSignpost.[edit source]
Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!
Nov 25th, 2010 • Issue 96 • Putting the period in periodical!
Jimbo, Whales & The Worst 100
Those of you who regularly sit and stare at recent changes may well have seen a lot of tomfoolery with the site notice this week (that banner at the top which you dismissed two seconds after logging in). The reason for this is that somebody noticed that we are supposed to be a parody of Wikipedia and suggested we come up with something to parody Jimbo Wales' appeal. Zombiebaron duly obliged, then Lyrithya obliged too, then Olipro edited some code and the site notice you see today, or don't see, as the case may be, was created. Well done, them. Honestly, we have nothing bad to say about it. Except that I hate it as I do most things that come about through a process of honest endeavour. For those of you who didn't know, Jimbo does have an account on Uncyclopedia, an account he never uses, in rather the same way that I have a membership to a gym; I need one to be cool and so I have somewhere to hide when the black helicopters inevitably come for me. Jimbo is of course the co-founder of Wikia, which is rather like having helped build the Death Star except with less space and more super-lasers capable of destroying planets. Unfortunately, we haven't written a parody of the appeal yet. Well, we have, it just isn't very good. The team at the UnSignpost read both and after the laughter had died down we had a look at the Uncyclopedia one.... yeah.... but have our assurance, Uncyclopedia is working on improving it, and how could you doubt the people who brought you classics like Fisher Price and AAAAAAAAA!? The other item of news we have this week is that the reflections on this year are woefully lacking. Hurtling as we are towards the new year and the annual Cabal broadcast, you may want to consider adding an entry to the list in order that the administrators can sleep soundly at night. We refuse to believe that nothing of note has happened over the last couple of months because we've been here and can attest that something has happened every day. So get over there and do the editing, we'll be right behind you. Voting heats up
The "of the Month" awards are in something of a state of flux at the moment as voters and nominators become increasingly unwilling to vote (or care) in some cases and more willing in others. "It's a sad indictment of the way we live," lamented Socky when our reporter spoke to him, though he did say some other things once we asked him some questions. This month on the Uncyclopedian of the Month award, Lyrithya has stormed ahead of competition, running up 16 votes at the time of going to press; we would say she was miles ahead of her opposition, but since she nominated both of them and voted for one of them we don't think she deserves it. When asked to comment, Lyrithya had this to say: "I hate you all". Meanwhile over on Writer of the Month, Romartus leads SPIKE by 7 votes. Neither of them were available to provide us with a quote, probably because we forgot to ask, but we took some of the things they said on the award page and through creative journalism summed up their thoughts: "This... is... my... award" is what Romartus said, though he may have said those words in a different order... and as part of different sentences. SPIKE just said "Yay," which was lovely. Things are far more exciting over on Noob of the Month where mega-noob rcmurphy and regular noob Putthatknifedown are neck and neck with 5 votes each. Things are of course far less exciting in the land of the other awards: Author of the Month is a gripping contest as gentile Uncyclopedian and former UnSignpost editor Under user trudges towards the finish line arm in arm with gentile Uncyclopedian and former UnSignpost editor Mhaille (he wrote a couple of lines for us once and they were amazing). Potatochopper of the month is also a rather subdued affair with nobody getting any votes, despite two people being nominated. Finally Reviewer of the Month has no nominations and thus, surprisingly, no votes so far this month. Why is this? We at the UnSignpost asked Uncyclopedia's dictator in-chief Mordillo what he thought; he agreed to consider the question after a stiff drink. We can only assume it was a strong one as we didn't hear back from him for 3 days. When he came back, he declared, "Uncyclopedia - UNITE! GO OUT TO THE STREETS AND DEMAND MORE BLONDES FOR ALL! MORE WELL SHAPED BLONDES FOR ALL! MORE THREESOMES WITH JEWS! and vote for NotM and RotM right? Trust us, we are the cabal, we know best". As Mordillo was being sedated, Socky bravely stepped in to fill his trousers and surprised everyone by saying "My thoughts on awards are that we should have a lot more of them and we should be a lot less serious about them. We could be having fun instead of worrying about drama. Voting will only lead to good results when not subjugated to logic." Socky went on to lay down his plans for ruling Uncyclopedia and restoring Germany to a dominant position in Europe; he left our interview early to annex Czechoslovakia, so There is a point here, does Uncyclopedia need more awards? Or does it just need more contributors? All we know for sure is that you need to start voting NOW! Or tomorrow if you're a bit busy at the moment. Chief learns Latin; talks about lorums
See {{lorum}} for a full transcript of his Latin writings. |
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UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox |
~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101125 - 01:02 (UTC)
Immanent Release[edit source]
I brought cake and everything. -- Sir Mhaille (talk to me)
Don't you love the smell of the UnSignpost in the morning?[edit source]
All your readers are belong to us
Dec 2nd, 2010 • Issue 97 • STOP! UnSignpost time!
UFFL Week 12 Update
Now that it is so far into the season that everyone not involved with the Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League, as well as many that are involved, could not possibly care, what better time for an update? After eleven gruelling weeks, it seems that on top is the one and only Doritians, Take II, with an impressive W-L-T of 9-2-0 and a current six-game win-streak. They are also the only team to currently have a clinched playoff spot. For those not aware, the Doritians, Take II are the follow-up to Cheddar's Doritians last year: an Eagles-based team that performed, to put it frankly, shittily. When asked to comment about his surprising victory, Mr. Cheddar claimed, "GET RAPED SON." Elsewhere in the league, there is currently a tight race for 2nd between the Oklahoma Boomers (who are currently in first point-wise and have the season record for highest score in a game with 168.14 points), The DC RacialSlurs, The Dudes, and Lepus Muerte. The real secondary story revolves around league commissioner and possible Nazi-supporter Rosenkrantzenpants. While last year, the German team took the overall victory with quite ease, this year's team is not so magnificent. After many losing streaks and strokes and bad luck, Rosenkrantzenpants has barely been able to pull itself past an even Win-Lose ratio. However, despite a poor record, he maintains 4th place point-wise. The Well-Dressed Pickles again still have yet to win, most likely due to having six of the worst players in the league (two of which are out for the the season) and a refusal to edit the line-up. The Bearasorta Vikings aren't doing much better. Also, you should watch The League on FX. It's a damn funny show. Aristocrat's Update The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball rumbles on, and as the closing date looms like a fat man over a large cake, the question on everyone's lips is "What's the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball?". In case you have recently returned from an Uncyclopedia hiatus or have been hiking through the Amazon Delta wearing nothing but a pair of slippers, I will explain once again: the ATDB is a festival of frivolity and bad taste, highlighting all those fine, fine contributions we never want to see featured. The UnSignpost sat down with competition judge Lyrithya to find out what, if anything, there was to know. "I would like people to stop asking me for help," Lyrithya moaned before our journalist could open his mouth, "Two people have so far already" The UnSignpost infers from this that the competition is truly a desperate one this year; some entrants have clearly been pushed to the limits of their sanity and have begun searching Uncyclopedia's back alleys for writing tips. To round off our interview we asked Lyrithya who she thought would win. "That guy," she said emphatically, indicating a nearby vending machine, "His article is excellent." Whose article she really means shall remain a mystery until the results become known on December 10th. The competition closes for judging this Friday at 00:00 GMT, so if you want to enter, you need to do so soon. The UnSignpost will be there to bring you the results when the judging has happened unless something more exciting happens. Unlikely, but we live in hope. The Grue Army
For almost a year, most of our classic usergroups remained in pieces. Groups like the Uncyclopedian Forces, the UnAnarchist Party, the UnFire Department, and yes, even the Grue Apocalypse. The economy also dramatically collapsed, with commerce reaching an all-time low. However, one group stands out among all: the Grue Army. After their leader High Gen. Grue went AWOL, the once-proud Grue Army was left belly-up with only 4 of the original members still in. The decision to revive the group was made and Meganew has been seen wearing Patton-esque General's clothing ever since. Some newer users had joined up with the group already, but it wasn't enough to equal a full-scale revival. Therefore, the leaders decided on an unusual plan of action: pick who they thought would be the 10 best candidates for the group. After some of the candidates decided not to join, the plan was expanded to all of the twenty users originally selected. Some have responded and have become active Grue Army members, deep in-the-cave reserve members, and allies. Some people have questioned the need for another group of people who don't do much, but are happy to tell others what to do, as we already have site admins for just such a job. This has been a shameless advertising promotion from the Grue Army, Join Today!!! |
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UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox |
-- 05:12, December 2, 2010 (UTC)
The UnSignpost, now with 25% less saturated fat[edit source]
The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!
Dec 9th, 2010 • Issue 98 • Is that an UnSignpost in your pocket?
The UnSignpost Investigates: VFH
If you have ever written an article on Uncyclopedia then the chances are you have run the gauntlet of Votes for Highlight at some point, which inevitably means you have experienced the helpful criticism, the less helpful criticism and the downright bizarre criticism. VFH is the most popular voting page on Uncyclopedia, and this week the UnSignpost is taking a closer look at the process that separates the wheat from the chaff, and the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian[citation needed]. VFH has come under fire this week from an outgoing editor and we thought it would be unfair to dismiss his claims without properly investigating them, so we didn't and it was a great fun; we played badminton and then we went bowling. However, when Sycamore complained about recent trends on VFH, we decided to have a look. There is a serious point to be made here, with admins being told at least twice a week that both they and Uncyclopedia suck penises - is VFH not somewhere that should be more carefully regulated to prevent articles that are less than amusing being nominated? Or should users who are presently engaged in nominating idiotic pages for VFH be told to cut it out, or else? Discussions have taken place about scrapping voting altogether and having the admins run things or, as one bright-spark suggested: just get rid of against voting. VFH is not a machine in dire need of repair, however, but for many it does seem to be a flawed system that is entirely to blame for A wizard did it being featured. As a result of the above, the UnSignpost urges you to do two things: Vote on VFH; it needs your votes to work, as the name might suggest, and try to remember that while cocking about is fun, work is immeasurably more useful. Also, because the lead story this week has been very sombre and serious, we have attached a picture of a dog wearing a hat. Enjoy. Mince Pies, an editorial Hey guys!!! This week I thought I would talk about something which is guaranteed to interest EVERYONE! My favourite food in the world: Mince Pies!!! OMG they are teh brillz0rz! (Internet slang; I'm hip!) I mean they don't even have MINCE in them! What's UP WITH THAT!? Here's how I began to find them totally lolicious and awesome!!!! It all started at last year's Christmas pa- Signal interrupted New message incoming There is no need to adjust your UnSignpost. Halt all subversive activity. Exits are not located to the rear. Rollback is not disabled. Expect no Christmas bonus. The Cabal is not addressing you from this periodical. It is not the Festive Season. Santa does not exist. Nothing you do matters. Our patience is not tried by your petty drama and hi-jinks. Contributions are not logged and examined. Addresses are not tracked and houses are not watched. Bans will not be imposed if you reject our reality. Abide citizens. Location scrambled. Message ends Signal re-established, original transmission resuming ... and that's when I threw up all over the dancing Elephant! See you next week! |
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UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox |
--ChiefjusticePS3 16:10, December 9, 2010 (UTC)
I dub thee[edit source]
Aristocrat en Regalia
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--ChiefjusticePS3 16:14, December 10, 2010 (UTC)
.....[edit source]
aren't i graduated already? i no longer need your help.....--
17:48, December 10, 2010 (UTC)Oh shit! It's another unsignpost![edit source]
The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!
Dec 16th, 2010 • Issue 99 • Now with 50% more Cheese News!!
Turkey Ball Anyone?
As all great things must come to an end so must all fairly mediocre things, and this has certainly proved true for the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball, which concluded last Thursday/Friday/Early Saturday morning. Unfortunately, all of our reporters were out watching Lord of the Dance or entertaining Monsignor Sandman when it was happening and we have no on the spot coverage or reporting whatsoever. However, we have once again stepped unto the breach in the name of journalism and have, at great personal risk, recovered the results from the competition page. This year the joint winners of the title category are: Socky for UnBooks:Fred and EMC for The Aristocraigslist. Socky's winning streak continued into the next category: "Best Bad Taste Article" where he and Zombiebaron's collaboration tied for first place with CheddarBBQ's slightly sickening entry: Uncle John's Fetus Burgers and Abortion Clinic. The "The Master Goa Tse Award for Digital Imagery" category was the only one that obliged us with a clear winner this year, and that winner was Bucknut4, with the loin-stirring image you see attached to this story. Of course everyone who took part in the competition is a winner... except the people who didn't win anything. The UnSignpost dropped round to Socky's house to find out how he felt about being the biggest Turkey of them all this year: "I'm really proud of winning twice" he told our reporter, banging his head on the toughened glass. "I'd like to throw a big party, but first I'll need to get rid of all the dead bodies...", which was a lovely thought. He also presented our reporter with this picture which, his doctor assured us, Socky had drawn himself. The non-existent Cabal would like to pass on its non-existent thanks to all entrants and judges of the competition and would like to make special mention of Mrthejazz, who narrowly missed out on victory in two categories; hopefully the suicide note, sleeping-pills and empty Whiskey bottles we found when we went round to his house mean he has just gone on holiday. Gayming?
The Uncyclopedia game namespace came under fire this week as users began discussing whether the whole thing should be euthanized as part of Uncyclopedia's commitment to cutting internet congestion by 60% before the start of 2011. In order to get a handle on matters, the UnSignpost lured veteran Uncyclopedian Mhaille into an interview by convincing him there was cake hidden in our journalist's back pocket. Mhaille called the game namespace "A SHOCKING waste of server space and a section of the site seemingly inhabited by elves, dwarves, grues and Welshpeople". Is this a fair assessment of a namespace that has been around since 2006 or is this just the condemnation of a Bureaucrat engorged with spite at his continued lack of a salary? When asked if he would support deleting the namespace altogether, Mhaille said, "It should at least be hacked back to acceptable levels and filled with humour above that of a 14 year old D&D player". The debate on the game namespace is far from over, especially since a fair number of users haven't even realised it has started yet. Should we delete the namespace, or should we allow it to grow in whichever way the laws of nature allow? However with the game namespace regularly churning out classics like Grue Life and The Great Random Adventure of Awesomeness, it is clear to many that something should be done, even if it is only a jolly good chat in the Village Dump. |
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UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox |
~ 05:23, 16 December 2010
This is it... the 100th UnSignpost.[edit source]
The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!
Dec 23rd, 2010 • Issue 100 • Now with added bragging rights!
The UnSignpost hits 100
So here we are, issue number 100. The newspaper with the most haphazard group of editors and paper... people in the world has successfully spammed talk pages 100 times. This makes now the perfect time to look back at the UnSignpost through the ages and see the motley crew of visionaries, drug addicts and lunatics who have made the UnSignpost what it is today: damaged beyond all repair. The UnSignpost had a beginning, like everything: it was in days of yore when Uncyclopedians fiddled in the street.... in knickerbockers, Mordillo was a new-ish administrator and everything had a rosy sort of tint to it; Uncyclopedia was indeed not as bad as it is today. Two enterprising young Uncyclopedians, Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper, came up with the idea for a newspaper, a newspaper that would tell lazy people what was going on on the wiki, thus encouraging them to continue being lazy. At first, Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper made beautifulAfter the DJ went belly-up (yes I'll stop this now) Under user decided to have a go... he strapped on his pads and hit the UnSignpost for six (OK, I'm definitely done now) - six issues, to be exact, and then wandered off to get married or some such nonsense, leaving the UnSignpost in the hands of Gerrycheevers. Gerry maintained the paper splendidly until UU came back again and enlisted the help of some more hip and happening users to help him actually know things. UU remained in the editors seat, mostly, and writers like Socky, POTR and Guildensternenstein dropped in to help now and then when UU's creativity failed him. We can't list everyone who turned up as we hate most of them, but they are lovingly remembered on the main UnSignpost page. Finally the stress became too much for UU, and he fled the office via an upstairs window. When he woke from his coma, we showed him the UnSignpost and threatened to beat him with a stick if he didn't give us a quote on how excellent it was. He said, "Boringly, I love the ol' Signpost, and will probably return to it one day ... But I have written the most issues, across 3 separate stints on the paper, and sheer quantity has to count for something, right? Anyway, I'm glad to see Chief continuing all the proud traditions except late delivery, and am idly wondering how long it'll take before he too crumbles like a dry reed in the face of its relentless news-hunger". So hurrah for the UnSignpost, 100 issues to match up with the hundreds of writers with issues who have contributed to it. See you in issue 200! The UnSignpost:A few words from someone you don't know. Hang on. Did I read that last bit correctly? 100 issues? Wow! Given that it takes our beloved paper boys about 2 hours to deliver the Unsignpost, that means that's 200 hours spent delivering this, not to mention the time and effort put into making this unperiodic periodical over the last 2ish years. So that would mean it's a combined total of multiply by 2... carry the 1... take away the number you first thought of... 2 months worth of work that has gone into the creation of this glorious publication. And it's that attention to detial that makes the UnSignpost what it is. |
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UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox |
~ 06:51, 23 December 2010
UnSignpost, UnSignpost, eat it right here...[edit source]
Word to your mother.
Dec 30th, 2010 • Issue 101 • The periodical with just a hint of pie.
Awards of the year
As Christmas fades into the deep darkness of memory and the New Year hurtles towards us so quickly that experts have predicted it will reach us within a few days, thoughts inevitably turn to the Yearly awards. Well, the thoughts of we here at the UnSignpost do; if yours don't, then you aren't committed to this site enough. The yearly awards are: Writer of the Year, Uncyclopedian of the Year and Potatochopper of the Year. These highly imaginative awards are hotly contested affairs with up to 3 Uncyclopedians being nominated for each! While voting will not be open until early January you can already begin to think about who you want to nominate. The voting will be open until the end of January, hopefully, maybe, if we remember/are nominated. So prepare for the excitement, bribery and Lolpoo
Those of you who frequently watch the village dump may have spied, nestled amongst imaginative topics like "I r haz a solushan 4 all teh speeling prooblams on Uncylopedia!!" and "MY PENIS IS BENSON", the topic about the Poo Lit Surprise competition. As the forum topic suggests, the competition is expected to start in January on the 18th. The PLS is arguably the biggest writing competition in Uncyclopedia and judges are still needed to help out, just check out the forum topic if this is something you want to do. The controversial, drama causing, admin harassing problem associated with the PLS last time was the issue of a cash prize for the winner, and clashes over various entries to the competition and the related financial consequences caused problems for the competition and contributed towards Mordillo's 200th mental breakdown of the year. This year crafty Scot Sycamore, who has been coerced into hosting the PLS, has decreed that the winner may nominate a charity to which an unconfirmed sum will be sent on victory. Any further winnings may be withdrawn from your bank account with your credit card and redeemed at most shops. The competition starts on January 18th and we are lead to believe will close 14 days later, however we cannot confirm this for reasons that we are unable to confirm at time of writing and going to press. It's that simple. |
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UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox |
~ 21:36, 30 December 2010
UnSignpost Delivery![edit source]
May contain traces of humor!
Jan 6th, 2011 • Issue 102 • Just add Milk!
Wiki Update
So it would seem, considering Uncyclopedia has successfully staggered its way into a new year (and its 6th birthday on Janurary 5), that everything is working as it should; this raises the question, why? Well, we at the UnSignpost love a challenge, so we have investigated the salt mines of Uncyclopedia to see the VFD is working splendidly and has recently held a minor games purge. If you missed out, shame on you. Watched over by Sycamore, it is edited continuously by a few others who have been hitting the random page button in search of crap to rewrite for months, if not years now. Over on UnNews, SPIKE is also labouring in the place of UnNews grandmaster, the right honourable Zim ulator. Meanwhile on pee review, Lyrithya and Black flamingo11 have been shouldering more responsibility than they know what to do with, reviewing and checking the infernal tables and generally filling the void left by somebody trying in vain to get a life. Now for a quick moment on the forums.... that's that over with. Recent changes is also empty because Socky has stopped categorising absolutely everything and everyone else is.... writing. Romartus is still shattering hopes and dreams on VFH and we hope to be able to bring you this exact same piece of news next year. The admins are of course splitting their time between overseeing the whole process and abusing their powers for giggles. If you work like a dog for Uncyclopedia and you haven't been mentioned here, it's nothing personal; it's just From the desk of the Cabal:Compliance recommended for 2011
It has not escaped the notice of the non-existent Cabal that Uncyclopedia has successfully survived another year, and the Cabal, of which there is none, orders all subjects to have a happy new year, or else. It would seem that you ignored our ruling of last year where we instructed you to comply at every opportunity and issued a decree banning drama. In 2010 we saw range blocks and epic ban sprees (to purge the ballot boxes and thus purify democracy), we witnessed mass deletions (necessary losses), we observed hundreds of forum topics declaring Wikia to be the worst (Wikia are to be obeyed despite this), we watched as you persecuted the weak, stubborn and female (to build the master race) and took note of your single success, that of closing the worst 100 reflections on 2010 before midnight on December 31st. This took you two years; it does not count. In short you have failed us again. So as 2010 fades into distant memory, we turn our eyes to 2011. We have the following advice: question nothing; you are meddling with powers you cannot possibly comprehend; remain indoors; do not attempt to remove the cameras from your dwelling they are for the protection of the community; drive safely; stay in school/work; shut the fuck up and go write an article; provide your bank details and PIN when asked. That is all citizens, you may now move freely about the complex. |
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Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 09:56, Jan 6 2011 UTC