User:Zim ulator/archive10

Talk with reverend zim_ulator, Uncyclopedias official BACKUP Jesus

The Right Honourable Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator KUN MI PC FP

UnNews story depository

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This idea is on hold for now. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:23, March 16, 2010 (UTC)

I am now using this area as a depository for UnNews stories to be published. User:Funnybony helped me come up with this idea, although he may not know this at the moment. This is a work in progress. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 18:34, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

Approved For Publication

In Process

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For those of you who have a perverse inclination to find out what kind of drivel zim has on his older talk pages, check these out:

Archive 0 | Archive 1 | Archive 2 | Archive 3 | Archive 4 | Archive 5 | Archive 6 | Archive 7 | Archive 8 | Archive 9

Dedicated to a hard-core Uncyclopedia Beach Local

Let the simple truth be known throughout the land...

Uncyclopedia Beach. Basically an Uncyclopedia Beach "KOOK" is, by definition, an "UNregistered User"

--Funnybony    01:45, Mar 16

Templates suck!

I.P. Anon today topped his article on Erectil [sic] Dysfunction with the {{Crap}} template. I rolled it back with a snippy Change History that UnNews is assumed to be crap and a template saying so breaks the cover of looking like a news story for the sake of some canned laughter.

No, but this thing is an abortion. I'm ICUing it, not deleting it, purely as an exercise of good faith. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:51, March 16, 2010 (UTC)

Now, I would never revert you, Chief, but your "Approved by Zim" template has the same problem--even though Orian begged you in the Change History to let his article live. UnNews, good or bad, doesn't need anyone's seal of approval. It needs to look like news, until you read it. Spıke ¬ 17:26 16-Mar-10

Yeah, in fact that zim template has nothing to do with me. It's a reference to the "Invader Zim" cartoon, which I highly recommend. Hilarious. Anyway, adding that template was not a specific act to protect the article, just sort of an obtuse kiss on the cheek, as I am wont to do on occasion.

I love that you call me on stuff; it makes me rethink, which is probably a good thing. Do continue, please. Having said that, I do reserve the right to exhibit bat fuck behavior, as it is my nature to do so. In truth, I often hold back... quite a bit. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:51, March 16, 2010 (UTC)

A new section in the Style Guide notes your impartiality (between news-based news and made-up news) when choosing articles for the Front Page, based on your recent response on the subject. I didn't add, but was thinking about, your impartiality between deadpan and batfuck. Separately, when you replaced one of my sources with {{Old news}}, I created another section (under Sources) telling writers how to do that. Spıke ¬ 20:24 16-Mar-10

OK, then. UnNews, and by association, we, rock! Can you elaborate on the deadpan/batfuck thing? Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:46, March 16, 2010 (UTC)

Bat-fuck being articles that delight in their irrationality; my alternative being articles whose irrationality only comes out under scrutiny. You feature both, cheers. Meanwhile, when you correct one of my articles, and there seems to be a pattern, I will document it on behalf of our cub reporters. 'S what I do, Chief. Spıke ¬ 22:48 16-Mar-10

Ah, I see. Not long ago, when I returned from an unanticipated absence due to a dead PC, there was a dearth of articles. At one point, I committed to try to contribute at least one article a day to puff things up a bit, and trying to whore UnNews to some folks in IRC chat. Those dark days were dominated by bat fuck writing, mostly because I am no writer, and that's the best I could do; I became a content generator, a pen filled with diarrhea for ink. Now that UnNews has some decent writing (and some might argue, writing of better quality) to round things out, I am happy to submit fewer articles; still bat fuck, perhaps, crafted more carefully. I am also bat fuck pleased that the overall coolness of this place in general is rising, and I've barely had to lift a finger. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 08:58, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

"Those who can write, do. Those who cannot, administrate." And barely having to lift a finger is the essential goal. Spıke ¬ 10:20 17-Mar-10

Wow! I think I've found my niche! Thanks ;) Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 10:32, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Something that is post archival

Blah blah... couldn't be bothered without viagra. Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 22:54, Mar 16 2010 UTC

Hah! Two newly archived pages (including UnNews:Newsroom) and you arrive too late to poop on them! Spıke ¬ 23:06 16-Mar-10

Zim, can you or anyone with the time kindly help?

By giving me a list of the TOP 10 Uncyclopedia jargon words with meanings. I need it for an article. Words, like, nOOb, Sporking, VFH, VFD, Sock Puppet, Huffed, etc. OR, kindly direct me to the Uncyclopedia "Dictionary!" - I assume with this weird language that there MUST be a dictionary. If not, then THAT's a great article waiting to be written! Cheers--Funnybony    01:27, Mar 17

"Huffed" is cited, with definition, in UnNews:About. But please consider applying your talents to something other than another epic inside joke. Spıke ¬ 01:39 17-Mar-10

Undictionary - It's a little more intense then what you're talking about, and 90% of it is garbage, and one day I'm going to come back to it and rip it to shreds as a rewrite, but it's there. But agree with Spikey - don't reinvent the wheel. Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 01:53, Mar 17 2010 UTC

Yeah, uh, memes (especially Chuck Norris) are forbidden at Uncyc. Maybe Chronarian could get away with it, but that's out of respect for his position as founder Uncyc, and fear of his evil powers. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 08:37, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Zim! Sure, I just double-checked on the WWW and came to know that memes are forbidden. And, as was predicted long ago, Uncyclopedia is the "Anti-Chuck, which is right by me. I mean, "Fuck Chuck!" And thanks always for the edits and upbringing. BTW: What's a Meme? <--If this link works then please no need to explain. I'm interested to know the Uncyclopedia Jargon, such as "meme" and "spork" - otherwise it's all Polish to me. For sure I want to do things correctly. So please keep me clued in - much appreciated. Cheers dude!--Funnybony    15:53, Mar 17

Yeah, certain memes have been more than played out here at Uncyclopedia. "Oscar Wilde is another", as are "I burning your dog" (not to be confused with Hyena blazing) and Cthulhu. I hope you're not having to get therapy for the harsh treatment I'm giving you, and if so, you're taking Uncyc waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too seriously

Anyway, don't sweat it. I've already thought of doing an article denouncing your Chuck article, and of course, if you hadn't written it, there would be one less piece to jam incorrectly into the puzzle that is Uncyc. Everything is good... now have a lie down, and when you wake up, the embedded hypnotic suggestion in this text will make you feel much better. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:29, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Cthulhu

I don't know how to pronounce Cthulhu. Or even pwn. These three pages steeped in the history of UnNews moved yesterday to a new department, Customer "service" (in the Biblical sense), right underneath the Departments (or unmanageable list of every UnNews story ever written, by world region) and the entire load has now dropped to the bottom of the right column.

You are still itching for a public dispute with any willing combatant on the pages of UnNews, aren't you?! Spıke ¬ 15:29 18-Mar-10

Hah! Itching? I'm boiling over! I'm looking to cause as much damage as possible!

Well, no, not really. I just want people who are concerned to have their say. I've always been one of the more laid back admins. That being said, I pretty much have final say about much of UnNews, and as such, will always decide in favor of what I think is good for UnNews. Good work on those changes, by the way. It may not be the ultimate solution, but things are coming together nicely, and we have a better presentation, I think. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:36, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 18th March 2010 (on time as always)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The periodical without any junk in its trunk!

Mar 18th, 2010 • Issue 80 • Hold the line! News isn't always on time!

VFS: it begins By UU As exclusively reported in your super soaraway UnSignpost last week, the voting process for new Uncyclopedia sysops has begun, and so it's time for Signpost mascot and never-popular running joke DogNewspaper to give the traditional unbiased Signpost rundown of the candidates. Leading the popular vote at present is long-serving poopsmith and kvetcher RabbiTechno, gaining a seemingly unassailable lead by being helpful, friendly and competent, and by promising to bake cakes for all who vote for him - a ploy which may well have snared the support of more than just the odd swing voter. In a comfortable position just behind the Rabbi is lengthily-monikered Belgian workhorse Sockpuppet of an unregistered user, the joint Uncyclopedian of the Year for 2009, who seems to be gathering followers by being helpful, competent, friendly, and doing loads and loads of stuff. This cunning stratagem has obviously endeared him to the denizens of this wiki, who seem to be propelling him towards having his own banstick. But hold on, who's this coming up stealthily behind Socky? Why, it's pee review supremo and scourge of vandals everywhere ChiefjusticeDS! The Chief is steadily accumulating backers through the cunning tactic of being competent, helpful and friendly. He also rules PEEING with an iron fist, and spends inordinate amounts of time cleaning and tidying up the place, facts that have led to him coming within striking distance of the leaders in what appears to be a three-horse race. One thing is clear from this - all 3 of the most popular candidates appear to be helpful and friendly, which this newspaper finds unacceptable - where is the next Famine going to come from? where will we find an admin willing to infiban users and delete all their articles just for looking at someone the wrong way, or for being Kip the Dip? Also nominated, and receiving some support are current Writer of the Year and greatest person in the history of all things ever Hyperbole, diplomat by Uncyc appointment to all religions Optimuschris, canine broadcaster and damn fine journalist PuppyOnTheRadio, allcaps-named VFD machine SPIKE, confirmed female on the internets Zana Dark, easy-to-spell feature-machine Guildensternenstein and jaded old-timer Necropaxx. Other people have been nominated without recording a score as yet, but as this article is already long enough to have the editor wondering how many filler boxes he can dream up for the right-side panel this week, they just appear as a brief list: Mnbvcxz, Cajek, Gerrycheevers, Syndrome, The Woodburninator, Why do I need to provide this?, Charitwo and some bloke called Mhaille. Will any of them pick up a sympathy vote before the end of voting round 2? Positions vacant. By PuppyOnTheRadio The Imperial Colonization is a long standing organisation that has for years been at the cutting edge of creativity of articles for one of the world's most respected websites: Uncyclopedia. Due to a period of unprecedented growth during a time of economic downturn, as most of our members are otherwise unemployed, we are looking for a new assistant to the head of IC. This is a fantastic opportunity for you to work from home. Your daily duties will include: Telling writers that they should be working on the latest colonisation Ensuring that changes to current colonisation are consistent with the theme Telling writers to stop wasting time on other projects and get back to the current colonisation Vetting new applicants to IC to ensure they are of the quality needed Telling writers that they should really be working on IC Going insane with power (optional) The relevant applicant will have: Significant experience in editing and writing articles for feature Preferably have worked on IC or in a related field The ability to tell writers that they should really get back to the current project, as it needs to be completed by the 20th of March. A fluffy teddy called Norman (optional, but preferred) This is a rare opportunity. The successful applicant will become next in line to take over the reins of IC when the current head gets sick of it retires. You will be paid in the half feature credit when a colonised article gets featured, as well as being able to call yourself the assistant to the head of Imperial Colonisation. To apply, contact Why do I need to provide this? here.

Check out these pages! UnNews is revolting! Shit happens Bandwagons also happen, inevitably Oh noes, Aussie lawyers - could we be DOOMED? Opinions required From our logs: 08:26, 17 March 2010 Zim ulator (Talk | contribs) blocked 96.28.232.175 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Vandal: Oh my, you are just so fucking witty. With wits like that, who needs enemas?) 18:53, 16 March 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Hyperactive-Sausage (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (enjoy your complimantary penis) 00:21, 16 March 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 99.251.242.153 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (I THINK 99.251.242.153 SHOULD BURN OR HAVE TO PAY FOR OXYGEN, fuckin fuirt, KILL 99.251.242.153) 12:30, 12 March 2010 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.219.247.129 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Cyberbullying: and generally being a retard. Let's get this right... You call your friend Gay, but you like editing the Powerpuff Girls page? Think about that...) Biopic of the Week We at the UnSignpost pride ourselves on profiling only the finest Uncyclopedians. So how in the hell has it taken us 80 issues to get around to profiling Zana Dark? A self-confessed female and all-round smartass, Zana has been on this wiki for years, bringing her uniquely feminine touch to the Uncyclopedia Legal Department and a whole bunch of impressive rewrites. She's also been WotM for writing funny articles about flashing beaver, tits, and butter, proving conclusively that she knows exactly how to appeal to the sensibilities of the largely male Uncyc userbase. Old-School Featured Article of the Week Illegal Aliens from Outer Space! (1959) was a fact-based horror film that played in drive-in movie theaters across America. It is widely lauded for opening the eyes of an entire generation of movie patrons to the blood-curdling terror of a heterogeneous nation. Filmed in Super Black 'n' White-O-Vision, with monophonic sound recorded in Mono-O-Phon-O-Sound, Illegal Aliens from Outer Space! proved to be a blockbuster that far exceeded the director's humble expectations. The movie's potent real-life lessons held patrons enrapt, while its documentary film-style distracted horny teens, protecting them from the joys of second base for the duration of the action-packed second and third acts of the film. Reason to leave Uncyc #341 Modusoperandi won't quit hoggin' the shower. Obligatory Filler Box of the Week When you absolutely positively gotta have an extra line or so to balance out the UnSignpost - accept no substitute! Horoscope of the Week Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 19) - This week, you will say words that are complete nonsense to you because you think they identify a particular culture that you otherwise completely ignore, but that no one of that culture actually ever says. B'gosh and begorrah. For the rest of this week's 'scopes, see here.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  11:55, Mar 18

The whatchamacallit

Hi Zim! I just heard from Spike that -- was OUT, and – was IN for use in UnNews. Be certain that I'm just trying to please every one, and I just want to do it all right. It's just that I'm such a dunce I can't even figure how to archive a talk page. MrN did it for me, but I don't know how. That's my problem, er, solution! Cheers--Funnybony    22:57, Mar 18

As for archiving a talk page, it's easy really. All you need to do is create a page, call it User:Funnybony/Archive01, for example. Next, paste the contents of your talk page into the new page you've just created as your archive. Once you've saved the new archive page and checked to make sure it has the correct content, clear up your talk page for fresh entries. When you find you need to archive again, create another sequentially named page, like User:Funnybony/Archive02 in this case, and repeat. Then lather, rinse, repeat. I hope this was helpful. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:22, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

No, I told you the exact opposite--at least, immediately following the place name. Zim, please confirm and I'll make sure the Style Guide got it right. Spıke ¬ 23:08 18-Mar-10

See UnNews:Style, end of Section 5.2. Spıke ¬ 23:09 18-Mar-10

The normal formatting for the item in question is two dashes -- . In the past, some have have done it like this:

• THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH is not, as some suppose, a circus. It is UnNews.

I am amenable to both. The only thing forbidden is an m-dash; they blow up stuff when pasted into the podcast file . Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:22, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

Oops! I wrote your preference into the Style Guide, but didn't change the example, as Zim has just done. Funnybony is evidently influencing me; I've just filed a story with both exclamation points and swears (on hockey). It may be revised, as the game has not yet ended. Spıke ¬ 00:39 19-Mar-10

You real writers have this thing about grammar, and spelling, and punctuation, and other things, don't you? Sweet Smoking Jesus! needs to be written to address this. Unfortunately, I'm busy now with User:Zim ulator/Benjamin Netanyahu, and then I want to do an UnNews article or two, so... I'll get to it. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 02:08, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

Extra news IF needed

Zim, I rewrote and renamed the (real) Jellyfish news mirth as Giant mutant jellyfish sighted off Tahiti - and I hope you can use it some time, like when there is none or only one news on some day. And please edit as much as you can. I tried to keep it in my UserSpace when I renamed it. Now it's for sure in the wrong place, because it's UnNews, not article. Can you grab that to start off you good idea of "news under consideration"

ARCHIVE PAGE: Ah, Oh, ah, yeah, create a page, lets see, where is the Create a Page button?? Humm? Get the picture? Ignorance is not bliss (its just funny). Cheers--Funnybony    01:17, Mar 19

I'll look at Giant mutant jellyfish sighted off Tahiti, possibly mutilate it, and get back to you eventually.

The easiest way is to go to your user page, put your cursor at the end of the line where it says User:Funnybony, and type name you want to use, in this case, "/Archive01", make sure to include the slash. A new window will open with instructions on how to create this new page. let me know if you need some help. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:56, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews restructuring

Zimmy, I'd like to have a more serious conversation with you about the recent changes in UnNews. Are you planning to be in IRC anytime soon? ~ 21:01, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

I'll try to be in in a few minutes. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 23:32, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, I missed you somehow. When are you typically around? ~ 15:28, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Generally I check in a few times a day between 0600 and 0000 GMT. Unfortunately I can't be more specific, due to my back problems unpredictability. See you eventually. Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 20:50, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Say, Zim old chap

I know you don't usually get involved with Ban Patrol, but could you do us a favor and make this guy go away forever and ever amen? -OptyC Sucks! CUN14:47, 20 Mar

I can't seem to fine this guy. Maybe another admin beat me to the punch? Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:00, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

The link should be correct. I created a blank userpage for him to confirm that link is in fact spelled correctly and/or the parser isn't being goofy. He apparently stopped, however he does not appear to be banned yet. --Mn-z 15:07, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

I believe he's gone now. ~ 15:28, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Mordillo, we keep missing one another. I'm on IRC now. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:42, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews

Hi Zim! I'll try to be regular with one story every day (like a good noob). The "Hell Cost" news I was REALLY uncertain about, both from point of humor (too corny?) and taste - being as how we all feel terrible about the Jews in WWII. And it's scary that happened recently - only 65 years ago. Pretty gruesome stuff. Never the less, the Hell Cost news seems to be OK (with the gang). From now on I'll try to parody real current news. But I do have a few more whacked out ideas, such as "FED goes public with IPO" and "Pentagon AWOL!" OR "Alien abducted by earthlings" OR "Trump buys Brooklyn Bridge" or "FED holds dollar clearance sale - 99% off" - " or "Fort Knox robbed - nothing to steal" - ahem! Yeah! Pretty stupid, I admit!--Funnybony    18:25, Mar 20

No worries, I've done at least one stupid story, so I empathise with you completely, Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 20:53, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

In my opinion, any shock value of "Hell Cost" is softened by the lead of Ahmadinejad, who is likely to say or believe anything. On the other hand, Funnybony, the fact that six new "whacked out ideas" entered your head is not proof of newsworthiness to anyone else. Do 'em GOOD or stick to something we care about. (Some of the above ideas could, in fact, be forced onto the week's real stories.) Spıke ¬ 11:23 21-Mar-10

Let's avoid from making such remarks such as "something we care about". If the man has whacked ideas that turnes out to be good stories, he is more than welcome to share with the rest of the class. ~ 14:33, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

Yup, covered above by "Do 'em GOOD or...." Spıke ¬ 14:37 21-Mar-10

Banbanban?

Could you ban this guy for me? He has been repeatedly vandalising the Wurm Online article by pasting the wikipedia article into it. Thanks. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 10:21, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

Done. Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 10:24, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

You sir are a knight and a scholar, thanks awfully. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 10:25, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

My pleasure to assist an Uncyclopedian of such inestimable worth. Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 10:27, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews creation template

It appears that the creation template for unNews has some issues with Hotcat. If the ending comment section, i.e.:

<!-- Add a category here to help promote your article, if you wish. The categories linked from the UnNews main page are [[Category:Antarctica]], [[Category:Africa]], [[Category:Asia]], [[Category:East Asia]], [[Category:North America]], [[Category:Middle East]], [[Category:Central America]], [[Category:South America]]. Just copy and paste the one(s) you think apply(ies) in the space following this arrow.-->

section is not removed, any added categories are placed inside of the "comment" section, right after Category:South America. This causes the category to in effect, not be added, since it is placed in a hidden comment. For example, adding Category:BUTT POOP produces:

<!-- Add a category here to help promote your article, if you wish. The categories linked from the UnNews main page are [[Category:Antarctica]], [[Category:Africa]], [[Category:Asia]], [[Category:East Asia]], [[Category:North America]], [[Category:Middle East]], [[Category:Central America]], [[Category:South America]] [[Category:BUTT POOP]]. Just copy and paste the one(s) you think apply(ies) in the space following this arrow.-->

Is there any easy way to fix that? --Mn-z 00:48, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

An elegant solution (unfortunately, of the category "Please take your problem down the hall" is to teach Hotcat to ignore comments in articles.

A solution that UnNews could endeavor is to no longer hide this information in the creation template. Take the list of categories out of the creation template and cover it in the Style Guide along with all our instructions to authors. (E.M.C. has already complained that this Guide is getting too long, especially in the formatting department. However, the business of categories is one area where Zim often edits my UnNews--he knows categories I don't--and every time he has to come in and edit an author, my solution is to make the instructions to authors better.) Spıke ¬ 01:01 22-Mar-10

My solution is to do that is an article creation type "game".  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  11 Apr 2010 ~ 03:15 (UTC)

Much appreciated

Thanks for the Star, Zim. It actually means a lot. And I'll wear it like a bad Ninja. Cheers!--Funnybony    16:52, Mar 23

My pleasure, dude, you earn it. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:53, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

99-years-old Nazi faces 99 years

Zim. Haa!! Even the title is great, you made it mucho greater.

Apart from UnNews I just did a VERY CRITICAL STUDY OF face-hugging bad motherfucking jerk-in-chief the Blue-ringed octopus (after which Alien face-hugger was designed). Its (only) a million times worse than the Alien ever dreamed of being (acid for blood is wimp stuff) - I think is funny and different approach-tone than my other articles (maximum disparage). I'd love your opinion. It's NOT long winded. If you feel impelled to edit - please fire away! Thanks--Funnybony    20:36, Mar 23

Thanks, I'm glad you approve of my edits. I will read the blue ring article later, when I've got time to read it properly. I used to think about those when I was snorkeling in Okinawa. Actually saw a lionfish in the wild, and barracudas. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 20:51, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

The Blue-ringed octopus is worse than the fictional Alien. You can't touch it, eat it, or fuck it, so I DEMONIZED IT - as the most horrible god-awful creation in all existence. The Alien "face-hugger" were designed after it - YUCK!!! It's exaggeration of the fact. I got a Pee and they suggested I repeat Wikipedia and make a straight factual article. I told that I'm a Wikipedia editer (with many articles) since long before I joined Uncyclopeda, and the straight "facts" are NOT funny. That's why I'm here because I can BS and exaggerate - in a 3rd category: HTBAANJD (How to be absurd and not just drab). Not everyone likes my kind of jokes NOR my kind of music, but some do, and they count. From reading FAs, many are just drab, long-winded "factual content" sounding like Wikipedia. Like I think "Jack Bauer has never slept with a women - NOT because he is gay, but because he never sleeps!" - is goddamn funny! But Wikipedia is NOT funny in the least, nor is a slightly tweaked Wiki article funny. But some others hate a Jack Bauer joke, and think a Wikipedia dup is FA. If I find a feature article to be funny then I will laugh, not because I never got one, but because I never will if I stick to my guns. Which I plan to do. And some people will like it, and even vote for it. Anyway, I hope you like Blue-ringed octopus, the dick-headed BASTARD!!!--Funnybony    12:54, Mar 24

Make page in my user space - problem

Zim, I tried to follow you and MrN's advice, but I keep getting Spam Protection filter reject my page and say - "Return to User:Funnybony/Two different ‘If I Did It’ books released/" What I'm trying to do is save a new UnNews on my userspace - create a page as you suggested. What am I missing? Duh! Thanks. Cheers!--Funnybony    12:54, Mar 24

I don't know why it wouldn't work for you; I had no trouble, I made User:Funnybony/Two different ‘If I Did It’ books released for you. Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 18:39, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Mix it up!

Christ, Chief! Either vary the illustrations in today's news stories--or reformat the Front Page to declare today SASQUATCH DAY! Spıke ¬ 13:30 24-Mar-10

In fact, it is Sasquatch Day. Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 13:33, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, the the use of the same pic for two "unrelated" articles is intentional, of course. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 13:34, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

If you change the illustration on the Biden story and feature it, it will be Bingo. Spıke ¬ 15:02 24-Mar-10

HAH! Didn't think of that. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:14, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Boo! The Alaska story seems contrived to fit Sasquatch Appreciation Day, while the previous three coincidentally (but explicably) used the Sasquatch photo. Moreover, the Alaska story bumps Joe Biden out of the rotation--and when I put it in {{Third Lead}} and changed the photo to the Sasquatch photo, the caption was a cute joke about, This is how Biden looks with his new set of hair plugs! Spıke ¬ 23:59 24-Mar-10

A little late to complain now, isn't it? Of course it was contrived for Sasquatch Day... you obviously don't know me well enough yet... or maybe not well enough to know better than to associate with the likes of me. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:03, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

Harry Krishna story

Zim! Is this your news? Did you know there is an outsider-insider article on "them" named ITSCON. It came from a heap of information, and Spike put his backbone into it and helped me create an article on the Harry Krishna religion. We took it as far as we could go, before some one cried, "biased!" --- so we stopped, and by that point it was in pretty good shape, as I never got so much help on any article as Spike give on ITSCON.. and for that reason alone I'm sure it's a good article. If you know anything about this group then you gotta read ITSCON. BTW: In Itscon article the "name" Krishna is never mentioned, really no names are mentioned). But "Krishna" is a Sanskrit word that literally means "All-attractive"--Funnybony    16:14, Mar 24

Yeah, today sort of became Sasquatch Day at UnNews. I'll check ITSCON out later. Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 18:41, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Pre-review

You may move this to UnNews, if you think that anyone other than me would find it funny. Spıke ¬ 12:41 25-Mar-10

Why on earth would you ask my pre-approval on a story you a reclearly more suited to critique, even if it is your own? It is a good piece IMHO, that could use a pic. I'll whore if for you if you like, but by now I hardly think you need to ask my permission to publish. Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 13:31, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

I certainly wasn't asking you to build it up or take credit for it! merely that this jokeless piece sums up what I find ironic about the debate but I wonder if the average reader cares. Thanks for the review; I'll move it in and find a pic. Spıke ¬ 13:36 25-Mar-10

Yeah, it is funny, is a sick way. Heh heh... sick... healthcare... get it? Oh, kill me now before I destroy the world! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 13:38, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

I do appreciate the look from someone probably less sympathetic to the GOP, and less unsympathetic to Judd Gregg, than I. As is often the case, it's tighter and funnier than it was when first foisted on the public, and is now an audio too. Spıke ¬ 22:14 25-Mar-10

My pleasure,. To be clear, I have no sympathy for any political parties. In my youth, I admit to a leftward leaning; since I became a Bodhisattva, however, none of it matters. A Bat Fuck Bodhisattva... there's an article in that. Thanks for inspiring me! Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:24, March 26, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 25th March 2010 (hand delivered for added flavour)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Just like Grandma used to make!

Mar 25th, 2010 • Issue 81 • So full of news, our news-gut hangs over our news-jeans

VFS reaches third and final round, Uncyclopedians bored to tears By UU And so the bloated process that is VFS stumbles drunkenly into its third and final stage. All the chaff - that is, those polling low numbers of votes - has been mercilessly pruned, and the wheat - Chief, Rabbi and Socky - is now being sifted carefully by the admins. And the UnSignpost once more devotes precious space to covering it, even though most Uncyclopedians, with their reduced attention spans, got bored of it weeks ago. Once again, the Rabbi appears to be in pole position, and there are rumours that Mordillo is already preparing him a traditional Jewish banstick, such is his current lead. Meanwhile, Sock and Chief are neck-and-neck for the second slot, polling three votes each currently. When he interviewed himself for this article, lazy journalist UU exclusively told us: "this reflects well on the site - we have three great, very strong candidates, any and all of whom would do a great job if opped. And a number of those who didn't make it to round 3 will probably make a much stronger showing next time. If there is a next time." All that remains now is to see how the final few days affect the vote, and who finally gets the supreme honour of being able to go delete every single page of shitloads of crappy games that have been nommed on VFD, and the like. Joins us next week for the "From Our Logs" new admin special, when we analyse their first bans, and watch as these new admins mercilessly ban the unlucky loser and abuse their new powers flagrantly. Hopefully. Top 5 Of-The-Months Become 90% Cheesier By CheddarBBQ Well known and completely badass user CheddarBBQ, known for his increasing his own self-image, and for being one of the coolest guys ever, has now set a record by being nommed for all four "big" nominations in the same month. Even more impressive, he has been nommed for these four without doing much of anything deserving of awards (besides the aforementioned alleged coolness and/or badassedness). The always tasty Eyetallyan snackfood has been able to hold tightly to last place in each one of these all month. When asked about his newfound record, the great man/food had this to say: "I always knew I was special. The bag of cheese curls that I referred to as "Mommy" for 15 years would tell me so on a regular basis. Also, suck it bitchez." Of course the amazing record-breaker would think well of himself, so we went elsewhere, to question his adopted son, Momo. When asked about the excitement over the record, Momo claimed, "Papa De La Rosa is, like, the greatest dad ever, I used to have so much fun with him when I was little. Ya know, he once left me inside an oven when I was a baby, went for a beer and got me out the following morning. That was fun, I'm tellin' ya. And when I was 4, he left me in an amusement park, went for a beer and came to pick me up a whole week later. I spent that week with that nice guy who kept touching my ass.. Good times.. When I was 7, he took me for a beer. And by the age of 14, we were running our small liquor-smuggling business.. Oh yeah, he's a great guy." Curiously, his comment did not much relate to the matter at hand, yet it was deemed necessary to include it anyway. It appears to be abundantly clear that Cheddar is a marvel of a man whom we can all look up to. In other news, it appears that Don Chedds is about to set another record by being the first Uncyclopedian to drastically lose all five major awards in one month. It appears to be abundantly clear that Cheddar is a marvel of a man whom we can all look up to. Here's to you, CheddarBBQ. Oh yeah, and some other people had something to do with it as well. Note: The writer of this article has decided that a fact check as to whether or not either of these are true records would be unnecessary.

Check out these pages! Screw you, smartasses Something to do with politics, I think We have a history, but is that anything worth celebrating? From our logs: 23:47, 23 March 2010 Zim ulator (Talk | contribs) blocked Dakotah0 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Being a Dick: Fucking n00bs, editing the UnNews Main Page.... what do you think this is, rimjob? Wikipedia?) 09:16, 23 March 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.162.71.154 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (stop being so full of fail. seriously, did you have a fail transplant or something? that's a serious fail supply you carry round with you.) 05:14, 22 March 2010 Roman Dog Bird blocked TheUnUncyclopedian with an expiry time of infinite (Have you ever tried to cum in your mouth? I did. I couldn't go through with it though. No way was I going to eat my cum. What the fuck was I thinking? True story.) Biopic of the Week Tell you what, let's do a bio of someone who's won the WotM award this year - how's that sound? Splendid, knew you'd like it. And you'll like the guy we've chosen too: Nameable. How can you not? He's friendly, cuddly (we're told), and capable of writing a funny article about Corn Flakes. That's pretty much as good as it gets, right there. Unless you have some kind of Corn Flake aversion, but then, if you do, you're beyond help. Probably. Day of the Week A glut of Sasquatch-related UnNews stories led the very Reverend Zim to declare March 24th Sasquatch Appreciation Day. He celebrated by spamming a template around a few talk pages. Do those sasquatches appreciators know how to party or what? Old school featured article of the Week Sexual innuendo is a hard topic to stay abreast of. As a humor tool, it stands erect in the English language. While there are no hard and fast rules as to what constitutes sexual innuendo, many people have mass-debated over the topic, and now the general principles at the root of the topic are firm and well-rounded. However, full penetration of the subject requires that the reader take a long, hard look at the target and be a cunning linguist in order to avoid limp phrases and imbibe the phrase with a large handful of meanings. The topic can become hot by attempting to grasp it, and the more one experiments with it, the more interested they become. Also, as the language changes innuendos must change in order to fill the newly created holes and satisfy listeners.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticeGameBoy 21:51, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

This might be of use...

...as the basis of an UnNews. I'd write something inspired by it myself, but I can't see a way that it could really be made any funnier than it already is. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:45, March 26, 2010 (UTC)

Oh Christ, that is hilarious! My wife and I are thinking about it, but I doubt we can top reality for the humor level. Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:24, March 26, 2010 (UTC)

Precisely what I thought. I'm going to assume anything that funny which happens in reality is God's way of telling a joke, and I wouldn't want to go on stage after He'd warmed up the audience. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:31, March 26, 2010 (UTC)

My dilemma

Do you have anything to do with this? It was created by an IP but I am hesitant about putting it on QVFD as it is in your user space and you might have just forgotten to sign it, that and you have the power to destroy me. Good day. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 16:24, March 26, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for checking with me. Yeah, the name Tom Bivalve struck me funny at one time, but apparently not that funny, because I'd forgotten about it. Thanks for bringing it to my attention, for the UnSignpost delivery, and mentioning Sasquatch Appreciation Day. Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:17, March 26, 2010 (UTC)

Hey Zim, I think we need to first classify UnNews categories

• So I've been thinking on the whole templates/categories thing for UnNews a LOT lately and (you've see my brain storming page) the main conclusions I've come to is there needs to be a consensus on what the main UnNews categories and subcategories are before we begin building a section header and footer identifier templates.

As far as I know the only categories consistently put forth to users are the 7+ country/continent identifiers:

<!-- Add a category here to help promote your article, if you wish. The categories linked from the UnNews main page are [[Category:Antarctica]], [[Category:Africa]], [[Category:Asia]], [[Category:East Asia]], [[Category:North America]], [[Category:Middle East]], [[Category:Central America]], [[Category:South America]]. Just copy and paste the one(s) you think apply(ies) in the space following this arrow.-->

although it seems as if there is a HUGE pool of (poorly organized) little or semi-used templates in existence.

I think we should set some actual UnNews categories in stone, and then allow people to make up there own sub categories on the fly if they like with a "UnNews_MAINSECTION_Categories:SUBSECTION" type of thing... I think we can do it anyway, I'll do more research.

What do you think???  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  27 Mar 2010 ~ 04:10 (UTC)

Great work so far, dude. Yeah, I hate those geographical "departments". They're so vague and unhelpful. How can you expect to find bat fuck insane writing that way?

Is this MAINSECTION_Categories:SUBSECTION approach used elsewhere, and if so, where? Right now I'm just working off this [1] for the Religion Section, doing some <choose> <option> lists, and it's good enough for the moment. Thanks for your efforts. Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:08, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

No I think the MAINSECTION_Categories:SUBSECTION is a new animal... more here. If it is used somewhere else I haven't found it yet, but I am looking. Certainly, bat fuck insane should have it's own category.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  27 Mar 2010 ~ 20:22 (UTC)

The px thingy in recent UnNews

Yo Zim, me an Spike was a-thinkin' 'bout that thingamagig px deal. 120 or 150 max? You daa boss!--Funnybony    22:15, Mar 28

Chief, if you would like to know what he is talking about before you make an Executive Decision, see Section 19 of his talk page. It is the maximum width for illustrations recommended in the comments inside {{RecentUnNews}}. Spıke ¬ 22:21 28-Mar-10

Right, 120px is the accepted standard for Uncyclopedia for that particular image. I imagine it might blow up if you exceed that. Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 22:25, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Separately, I ask in the Newsroom whether debate is over on User:SPIKE/New article intro--Mordillo has only general guidance, but POTR now offers some small edits. Spıke ¬ 22:28 28-Mar-10

Have restored the size of the current illustration, and the policy guidance, in {{RecentUnNews}}, and have made Catholic Church an UnNews Audio--Mix came out very good this time. Spıke ¬ 01:35 29-Mar-10

Yes, the debate is done. Go ahead and put it into production Spike, if you don't mind? Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:33, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Let's get small

This is missing this: </small>. As it is, it makes what follows it get small. Thought you'd want to know. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:07, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

.

Condolences Zim. --UU - natter 14:42, Mar 29

UnNews

My condolences, and yes of course. I don't have the power to huff (yet) but I can QVFD anything unspeakable and otherwise keep the place swept ready for your return. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:55, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

I saw a post about your loss while spying on other people's talk pages. I'm sorry about the loss, and wish you and your family well. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:14, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Condolences here as well Zim, and sure I'll be helping keep UnNews together and going during these format changes. But only because I'd do that of my own volition, not because you asked me to. --EMC ^[TALK] 00:16 Mar 30 2010

Sorry to hear about your loss...hope to see you back in awhile--Sir Shandon (Talk) (Trophy Room) 00:27, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I was spying on UU's page and saw what you said. That's awful, and I extend every bit of my empathy towards you. I really hope you'll be able to come back soon, and cope with your loss.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 02:12, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1th April 2010 - Always on time

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!

Apr 1st, 2010 • Issue 82 • You'd better watch out, you'd better beware: if any news happens, the Signpost will be there

Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 04:43, Apr 2 2010 UTC

VFS

For your vote in VFS and as promised last time You have been awarded a Certificate guaranteeing you safe passage whilst inside those areas of Uncyclopedia under Zionist domination. Certificate also redeemable for one (1) free bagel at your nearest grocery - simply print out and present to the shopkeeper to claim your free bagel with the filling of your choice. Rabbi Techno

Are you back?

Or just checking in from the family home? I've detailed the brief news since your departure in the Newsroom. Hope all is well and wish you a swift return. Spıke ¬ 01:14 3-Apr-10

Not really back yet, just checking in on my favorite nuts... and bolts, nuts and bolts... that's it, nuts and bolts. Thanks for your good wishes, from both my wife and I. I'll be easing back in over the next few days, I suspect. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:39, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

We got your back. In the good way. --EMC ^[TALK] 08:53 Apr 3 2010

I have a reply on User:SPIKE/UnNews; please confirm you are taking the "scut work" back now. Spıke ¬ 18:26 6-Apr-10

UnNews:Fred Phelps, "God hates sheep"

Hey, just wondering, apart from the images was the article okay? Cheers for tidying it up a bit, will try to remember to try and break up the text with pictures more in future :) --Sir Sunbeam no u F@H KUN 13:31, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Anything disrespecting Fred Phelps gets bonus points in my book. I just added the images from an older UnNews Phelps article to break things up, since it was a bit longer than usual UnNews articles. It was good going down, with a bit of a malty aftertaste. Next time I recommend serving a Fred Phelps article with cashews and a cuban cigar, perhaps a brandy and a joint of purple haze. Good work, please keep it up. chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 13:45, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Nominated for the Foolitzer

One fine day ...

--Funnybony    18:12, Apr 7

Hi Zim

I also decided to come back since I haven't got anything better to do. I started this while you were away. -- Style  Guide 18:16, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Hi multi-faceted one. Good seeing you. I will get to reading your thingy when I've cleaned up some of my admin stuff. Please be patient and bear with me. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 12:45, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Sure. The gist - I think you know that one already, I think I a splained the idea to you before christmas. Now it has some samples alredy, serials on their way and more planned. I'm looking for contributors since there is no dearth of writeable stuff. -- Style  Guide 12:49, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

My silly collection is, like, a freakin' mountain already

Zim! Dude! Have you seen my collection of pages and Unnews that stuck in Uncyclopedia? Over the 100 mark. And I worked really hard on all of em. I donno, is 102 a lot, or somethin'? Published UnNews stories is 62 in last couple months. Whew!

BTW: Yesterday I was such a bastard that I voted NO on VFH on an article. It was sloppy, incomplete, rambling, long-winded (I HATE looooooong jokes), it had no conclusion, was obviously NOT by an "insider" and within 30 seconds I was spotting obvious typos. And on top of everything else it was boring and NOT funny! So I thought, If THIS gets FA, after all my 100+ articles didn't, then the only logical conclusion is that there is no illogical conclusion. Being inconclusive is kinda like a dog chasing its tail. Wouldn't you disagree!? I've been writing perfect articles that are part of Wikipedia since well before Uncyclopedia existed, and most of my Unycyclopedia articles are very much that style, but funny (to me and some people) though too radical for conservatives, etc., who can't see the humor for their prejudices. So I find it hard to do both a good job and also please all sides at the same time. If I do well, then some will dislike. It was same in my music. Some critics say best in the world, some think crap. And we're on many top 10 and top 100 Greatest lists, including being #6 in Record Collector Magazines book, "100 Greatest Psychedelic Records" ahead of Hendrix and Pink Floyd (Yardbirds are #5, #1 was Beatles "Tomorrow Never Knows") -- we're up there. So some critics who count love our music, even it's 45 years old. WYB: Most of our almost 60,000 song plays on MySpace are fans between ages of 18 to 25. Yet some people hate it. So I always found the middle ground too blah! To please everyone I must be, like, blah. Jeez, dude, no waves means no surfing to me! Because one side or the other will be against if I'm not blah. And, man, blah sucks in my book (literally ref amazon).

Like I think mixing Joe Pesci with his famous characters makes a way better article than the blah facts, which are better in Wikipedia. Although I look after about 20 Wikipedia articles I basically stopped writing for them just when they really like me and switched to the nut house or "toy wikipedia" - and it's much more fun with you guys!

I don't know if you liked the Mecca Vice UnNews, but I spoofed both Miami Vice + the Saudi Religious Police Mutaween (also a radical article), and then took it all the way as a complete article. Here it is in case you would like to read Mecca Vice (The TV Show). Sorry for the long rap! Cheers!--Funnybony    09:51, Apr 8

Was there a point in there somewhere, or is this latest weed I got just fucking incredible? I can't tell. Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 12:46, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Zim, of course there is no point. How could there be any point in turning thought waves in digital letters on a computer by pushing buttons? NONE! I just needed the exercise. Like doing push-ups: What's the point? None! Except that now my single typing finger feels pooped! Good workout. No pain-no pain! Yeah! Hey, hope that loss in your family was not too much of a bummer 4 U. I still have all my family, but I'm dreading the day I have to face that. Cheers!--Funnybony    20:54, Apr 8

Nothing like what the Kid was on. I'm the only sober one in this newsroom, and my head hurts! Funnybony: Your work, though dramatically improving, isn't "perfect"--notably today's UnNews written in the bleepin' first person--and those who don't see its wonder are not necessarily conservative, prejudiced, or (to hark back to a debate on VFD), imbued with "handle bias." It is not You Against the World. Spıke ¬ 13:39 8-Apr-10

Hey Spike, yeah, I know you don't like the first-person type of news, and I avoid it. But the last story I did was exactly like that. Did you see the source story? Almost word for word. And that was on CNN. And I would bet CNN know more about news than us. Cheers!--Funnybony    20:54, Apr 8 20:54, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Dis'ere...

...looks like it's part of a publicity campaign for fluffy bunnies, which it in fact is. UnNews seems like the right place for it nevertheless - but - any ideas? The text has the tone I want it to have right now, but maybe it should be more newsey? -- Style  Guide 18:32, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Not my talk page, but...This can't go anywhere without illustrations. Cloyingly cute, sappy photos of cuddly bunnies. Lots of 'em. Tie-dyed, psychedelic bunnies. Also, you are broaching the Lawrence Summers/Thomas Sowell concept that the just-under-the-surface antagonism toward bunnies reflects superficial hatred of every member of the class. Without being that analytical, the article could use a sentence or two more of armchair psychology before you wrap it up. If you put it on UnNews, it seems like not just {{Original}} but to be labeled an Editorial. Spıke ¬ 18:47 8-Apr-10

Image bit is clear to me, first of all - been a member since 2008 more or less. Thanks for the good words too. The "armchair psychology" -bit is ambiguous to me here... how about an example? Feel free to add it straight to the article, I'll change it if it goes against my intention too much. Thanks for the feedback. And - editorial? Do add what is necessary for that, it's far quicker that way, and I'll know the next time. Editorial sounds correct, right, now that the word connected in my brain. -- Style  Guide 19:30, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Done; tags added, in comments, to start, as recommended by UnNews:Style sec. 2.3; and a third paragraph extends the article in the direction I mentioned--you'll want to edit it, and I don't know if you want to keep it in the second person. Spıke ¬ 20:32 8-Apr-10

Sorry, but no; you missed the fact that the piece is meant as pro-bunny propaganda, and therefore it needs the Anti-bunny people as the cause of the trouble this "you" it addresses wants to cause to bunnies in his ignorance. Thanks for the rest! -- Style  Guide 20:59, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

As you wish; or use my paragraph to explain the motivation of the anti-bunny people instead of explaining the reader. Spıke ¬ 21:11 8-Apr-10

That could work. -- Style  Guide 04:25, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 4/8/10 - Oh hi Signpost.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper the Whole Family Must Enjoy!

Apr 8th, 2010 • Issue 83 • News even an Uncyclopedian can understand!

We deliver on our promises By PuppyOnTheRadio As stated in last weeks edition of the USP, VFS is over, and we've run out of material to be able to fill this particular edition. Discussion about what to include in here has been vast and varied. Sockpuppet of an unregistered user suggested we write an article about how it's his birthday today, but how are we going to be able to write an entire article about his birthday? Especially when the bastard hasn't invited us to his party or shared any of his cake with us. Other suggestions included writing the value of π to the first 1,000 digits, or planting drugs on an admin. As none of the regular writers are able to do anything mathematical, and we attempted to plant drugs on an admin, but they mysteriously disappeared before we could discover them, those options were excluded. So instead we have gone back to suggestions for what we were going to do for the April Fool's day issue, where EMC suggested we have an article which simply showed someone being hit in the face with a pie. Working on the assumption that a picture is worth one thousand words, this seems to incorporate elements from most of the ideas we have had so far. If you are interested in helping to pad out contribute fine quality writing to the UnSignpost, or just wanting to bring up items of interest for our intrepid team of editors to report on, drop us a line at the press room and we promise we'll be polite when we ignore it. Spinning some new yarns By UU Another week, another new Uncyclopedia project, it seems. The latest to be launched is the Summit of Spin, which purports to be "an "office" that makes it easier and more organized to collaborate on article serials". It seemingly has no rules, but claims to provide "a series of tools to facilitate writing", which sounds dangerously close to helpful, if you ask us. Intrigued, your ever-alert UnSignpost asked the project's founder, Multiliteralist, for some quotes, preferably lengthy ones for the sake of padding. He responded: "You like the truth, don't you? But you don't like it the way it is now? Join us." Which is all well and good, but doesn't exactly fill this article out anything like enough. Fortunately, he added: "Our door is open for anyone with - in the words of Sir Humphrey Appleby - some moral flexibility." That was slightly more helpful for our purposes. Fortunately, however, he followed that up with: "Early this year, I felt something was missing in the world. That something was money truth - and it was specifically missing in my pockets the world of organised news reporting. Whatever is true in the world - like how wooden wheels are far better than tyres made of rubber and wheels made of metal alloys, or how fluffy bunnies are infinitely useful for all kinds of things - I felt I had to bring these things out for people to see. And you, if you are as greedy as I am love truth as much I do, can join forces with me by working for Summit of Spin for a ridiculously low salary, considering how much you have to lie love of truth! I cannot promise you anything else but prolonged court battles blood, sweat and tears in our constant fight for better-paying clients a more honest world!" And we think that just about sums it up without us having to do too much actual reporting, so we'll leave it here. Why not have a look at the Summit of Spin and get involved?

Check out these pages! Someone wants to be banned Oh dear God, is it still going? World Cup fever starts here From our logs: 14:26, 6 April 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 167.206.233.170 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (anonymous users only, account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) ‎ (ooh, is this a game of "state the bleedin' obvious"? OK: you're a twat. I win!) 15:53, 4 April 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Starsky133 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 seconds ‎ (I have no life and nothing bothers me more than people who don't know the difference between "your" and "you're." :-)) 01:22, 3 April 2010 Zim ulator (Talk | contribs) blocked 123.243.77.178 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Because I said so: Random insertion of the phrase "Monstrous testicles" into an UnNews article is not funny unless you're extrodinarily lucky, and you, my fine douche bag of a fellow human, are not lucky.) Biopic of the Week You'd think that, him having been on the wiki for over 4 years, having written a bunch of featured articles, and recently become an admin, we'd have done a bio on RabbiTechno by now, wouldn't you? Arguably Uncyc's second most notorious Jew (because no-one ever remembers TKF is Jewish), and UotM wayyy back in January '08, the good Rabbi now polices the wiki with his kosher banstick as part of the increasingly Semitic but non-existent Cabal. Old-School Featured Article of the Week I'm a dick. A private dick. That's like a private dancer but with a gun and dances cost extra. That's how we do it in the detective game. It's a game like Clue, but without the cards or the board. Just the dice. And they always come up snake eyes. The name is Gwendolyne. Last name's not important. All you need to know is my friends call me Gwendolyne. My friends are bourbon and ice and I haven't spoken to ice in years. It was a stormy and dark night. Not a dark and stormy night. That's an unrelated story, one that’s got little to do with this narrative. That somber tale has got something to do with Paul Clifford and I'd tell you about it, but the library revoked my card. Something about expositioning too loud last time I was there. Sorta-Comeback of the Week A wild Gerrycheevers appeared! Gerry used April Fool - it's pretty effective! Necropaxx, RabbiTechno, Mordillo and UU used gullibility - it's not very effective! Gerry wins!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:45, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Dis also...

...looks like an UnNews piece to me (a bit short for mainspace but the subject is such that it clearly works best as it is now). Our idea is to postpone both until Necropaxx gets his anti-bunny piece out, so that the series rolls out smoothly - maybe a couple of days at least between articles. Any other ideas for placement? Since it will be a part of the Fluffy bunny-series in general, there will be some kind of serial-links later. In that sense, any spot is OK. -- Style  Guide 04:43, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

It's not very newsy in its current form, but it may be a starting place for a future Philosophy Portal. Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:16, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

True, not newsy that way. It is clearly a magazine-type short article though, a column, rather than being encyclopedic. The writer writes for newspapers and different mags in the real world, that's why. Any additional ideas? Could any section of UnNews publish stories written in this form (even if it's not strictly news)? Would make for variety. Wait a sec - how about creating a "Column" section for UnNews, without any particular restrictions on subject, area, or anything else? It could be just a text Column: (name of story) in some corner. I for one would make a far better columnist than a reporter, since I like to pick up causes and twist the fuck out of them. Columns could be, for one thing, used to highlight issues in mainspace articles - well, that's what SoS is partly about, but in a different order. They would make for Uncritical journalism, where Uncyclopedia as a source would be praised and criticised. And whatnot. (Shit I'm full. I'm glad I never have the munchies for abstention-related reasons - I would soon burst.)-- Style  Guide 18:40, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

Would "Editorial" be what I'm talking about above? Column, somehow, makes it less conspicuous - could that be added as an UnNews category (template)? Editorial somehow seems to define the tone for a whole issue. -- Style  Guide 19:12, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

Meh... I'm not feeling it for this piece. Whore it around and see what else you get for opinions and ideas. Chers. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 20:41, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

Never mind the piece now but think about the column idea in general. Piece is a part of the Fluffy Bunnies-propaganda, it's not much on its own. -- Style  Guide 20:53, April 9, 2010 (UTC)

There should be a place for this stuff; I don't know whether there is, yet. It is sort of UnAdvocacy--a linked set of opinion pieces "in the style of" various opinion-makers. Biggest clash in trying to hang it off an UnNews coat-hook is that most UnNews pieces are drive-by humor based on a passing article in the news. Your stuff is deeper. Also, it doesn't exactly fit the phenomenon now known as Summit of Spin, as what corporate or partisan interest is going to have a motive to bias a debate of cuddly bunnies? It is indeed magazine-like. Spıke ¬ 21:08 9-Apr-10

Reorg UnNews to make room for columns/letters

OK - this ran out a bit but I have such a clear picture of what could be done - so please read this, both of you:

The shorty short if you're busy: UnNews (being a newspaper), with two minor adjustments, would make an ideal forum for part of the serials SoS will be producing. Those adjustments - Column and Letters to the editor - would also make UnNews more variable, to attract different writers.

• The whole SoS idea could use a far wider range of media, this is why I'm asking if a Column could be set up in UnNews. It would not be a SoS thing but an UnNews thing, and SoS would only provide stuff for it when it benefits our clients truth. Wouldn't need to be daily either, if there are no contributors. I think it could be a weekly or bi-weekly thing, in practice. (I can also write fly-by articles for it, if you want me to get involved and if other contributors are not found. I mean, other stuff than what SoS tries to push. I'll write a short article once a week, no sweat. I like to write goal-oriented stuff rather than just parodying things offhand.) Writing in that style is not compatible with encyclopedias, so the good effect of the column-like article is pretty much lost in mainspace. I figure that since there are so many articles written totally out of encyclopedic style, quite a few writers could be persuaded to become columnists. This would improve the overall image of the site in general; writers' energy would be used to better fit the framework - with a minor adjustment to the framework. I think with a few changes, a typical first-person article could be turned into a column. In fact, the recent feature Why?:Do I need to provide this? was a column. (Certainly not encyclopedic -and yet it hit front page. But this is beside the point.)

• Another thing is that I never intended SoS to be visible to the imaginary "general public", of course, but just an entity to propagate things behind the setup of Uncyc. But I think you got that. Also also: idea is not to write columns only, but different kinds of articles. Necropaxx's article on Bunnies will be a clear newspiece, and as you notice, Fluffy Bunnies as the saviours of infrastructure is a study someone has tampered with a bit. The UnNews (and if you pick up the column idea) part of it is ostensibly the tip of the iceberg the general audience sees, it is just there to lead the attentive reader down paths that might reward him. The tone and jokes of the serials really depend on the subject and on each individual contributor, so I figure no two will be similar.

• Of course I'm asking for the column to be set up for propaganda purposes - but as you can see, it would have other uses as well. SoS doesn't churn out propaganda at that rate. My point for trying to get this thing going in existing UncycloMedia rather than just linking the articles is, of course, that that's the way it is done in the real world. (Psst - I left $100 000 in a bag, in the garbage can outside the newsroom).

• On SoS clients since it came up: anyone or anything can be a SoS client. In the case of Bunnies, I guess it would be the bunnies themselves. I don't know. Someone just contacted us with a wad of bills in their hand a cause I saw worth fighting for. (Necropaxx had the idea they have a sinister agenda - that's why the furious campaigning for them. I'm guessing they are planning to steal all our carrots, but it might be something even more horrible.) In this case, in other words, the client is a political pressure group.

-- Style  Guide 05:26, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Also, a Letters to the editor-section would do UnNews a world of good. Arguments are always fun. They wouldn't be letters to the actual editors, naturally, but aimed against the appearing news. Not on real grounds, of course. -- Style  Guide 06:51, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, we've discussed Letters to the Editor before, and it seems we're all getting at the same concept. Another thought: Don't cling to the "client" concept if it gets in the way. When SoS succeeds in developing a comedy model, there needn't always be a cynical conspiracy behind it, unless it helps the model. By the way, fluffy bunnies are not the client! The beneficiary of a government or corporate program, whether school-children, collectors of welfare, or polar bears, are never the ones humping the program! They all have a bit of pride! Spıke ¬ 10:16 10-Apr-10

You might be mistaken about Fluffy Bunnies. I don't think they are in any need of any government backing, judging by the amount of cash they gave us. Also, the "client"-concept really is what makes SoS work. Without a client, there is no campaign. Of course, if someone wants to write something else in the name of SoS, I don't mind. And, if a campaign springs just one good standalone article, that's that. I'm flexible. The client is just a vehicle to get something going.

OK then, how about the Column-idea? I really would write columns on other subjects too, parodying real word or, as I said, picking stuff on Uncyc to bring up for a bit of scrutiny. One per week, since columns can be short, would be no problem. -- Style  Guide 10:43, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

As well as giving this section a header that you implicitly requested, I now defer back to the host. There's just one current obstacle to this reorg: You have caught UnNews in the middle of an existing reorg to better present what we already have (see the incomplete section navigation bar at the top of the UnNews page). Two, in fact, counting the effort of Happytimes to improve the categorization of articles. You might create a mock-up, like User:SPIKE/Sports Page, for eventual linking to the nav bar. Spıke ¬ 11:02 10-Apr-10

OK, I'll do that. I just wanted to find out if you like the idea. Columns coming right up. What else... how to organize it? I thought about making a Category:UnNews Column - would this look like the form? Then the nav bar would point to the most recent one.

Whether or not it looks like my Sports Page, surely the nav bar should not point to the most recent one, but to a presentation of all the columns on a particular model, or even all recent columns plus all recent letters. A scheme to link UnNews stories to "Letters to the Editor" on that story should be developed. Happytimes at the moment is Vice President in charge of Categories. Got your ears on? Spıke ¬ 11:17 10-Apr-10

And, um, a template for the columns? Do I just copy/paste/rename an existing UnNews template? -- Style  Guide 11:12, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

(I am listening, but now have a headache....)

I'd suggest you create a template {{UnNews Column}} derived from the existing {{UnNews Editorial}}. Spıke ¬ 11:19 10-Apr-10

OK, will do. How about advertising the columnist spots to those who like to write articles in a not-so-encyclopedic style? I (and Somdomite) can take care of some but I wouldn't mind if there were others. -- Style  Guide 11:26, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

My first reaction is that that is the job of the Village Dump. In fact, there are several jobs available at UnNews, such as Sports Editor. Perhaps we need a listing of all of them. I now defer back to the Chief. Spıke ¬ 11:33 10-Apr-10

There is a Category:UnColumns. So I'll just link that to the column template. -- Style  Guide 11:36, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

I hate to say this in the middle of a project but I'm going to be busy for the next two weeks with some stuff... but this is my unwind time too so we'll see how far I can get before I focus again.... (Man I wish all these threads were more organized... too many ideas?!?)  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  11 Apr 2010 ~ 02:21 (UTC)

East Side Story

Hey Zim, I had a story for today, but the situation has become so dire around me that, out of respect for the gravaty of the day I better pass. Essentionally a completely corrupt rich gangster who was ousted from "purchased" political power 4 years ago has hired many peasants (rent-a-mob) to invade the city, attack the Army and Police, and has tried to create a class war. This time around the Govt., police and Army are the good guys, but they are too afraid of hurting people. Yet the "reds" are armed and ready to kill. So unless the army and police really get serious they won't win, which will mean anarchy. Tear Gas ain't gonna cut it. If they do get serious there will be a lot of dead reds. So far 140 people are hurt and fighting is taking place in many areas right now. Just out my window the sound of guns and bombs and sirens. Damn, why is it always the goddamn "reds"? More tomorrow. Cheers!--Funnybony    13:07, Apr 10

Where are you? I'm trying to avoid death as a new years resolution. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 18:15, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Thailand would be a fair bet, though I don't know who is rioting there. -- Style  Guide 18:21, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Zim, cause of the all-pervasive nature of www and sensitive situation in Thailand I almost wish I could write you this in an email, only seen by you. Much like my big message which was my meaning to rap with you, as a friend. Anyway I live in the Big Mango, City of Angels. Bottom line here: Now the Army and police and government are the good guys, but this ousted fugitive former corrupt PM Thaksin has his rent-a-mob of upcountry hicks thinking they're in a class war. But really his rent-a-mob, called the "reds" are just bloody terrible bullies and misguided. You see, Thaksin's plan was to become richest in Thailand by corruption, dismantle the royalty, turn the Kingdom into a "republic" which HIM as president, and then join the New World Order, which (as you know) is in the works. So he was ousted by the Army in 2006, then convicted and ran away and is living as a fugitive outside the country. He got to power by vote buying, and that ain't democracy. Ever since he has been paying protesters to make trouble for years, Today was the worst. Thank God for the army. They're trying to fight this unarmed without hurting the protesters. But the protesters have real guns and bombs. So in self defense it turned into a shootout.

Can you imagine where you are living that a former PM ousted and convicted of massive corruption and now fugitive, hired a private army of poor people and tried to openly over-throw the government? Unthinkable. The government tried everything to end it peacefully, but the REDS were breaking every law in the book. And brought this city of 15 mil to a stand-still. Being mega bullies and ruining the party. And worst is that it's not over. Because the Army was met with deadly force by the "peaceful unarmed protesters" (Reds) who are trying to start a civil class war. What these hicks don't remember is they're not poor because of the rich, they are poor because they are poor. Just like all other poor people. But here they are actually way better off than else where. But highly armed rent-a-mobs can be bloody rude, and they are just hired criminals in fact. But the army were unable to dislodge them in spite of 600+ injuries and 15 deaths. And the Reds, while forcing the Government to act, are still well-paid defiant. All this trouble over one bad guy!

I'm a bit in shock myself, and lost my sense of humor, which I hope returns soon. Then after one week from now must I go long-haul to visit my family in USA and will also be absent from news for a short while as I travel with my son and recover jet lag. That is, provided the plane makes it. But with the blessings of the great Uncyclopedia, I plan to make it. Hey, stick to your New Year resolution, dude! Cheers!--Funnybony    06:42, Apr 11

"How to be absurdly funny and not just a kook? REGISTER!"

--Funnybony    07:01, Apr 11

Jesus, dude, I hope y'all get back to the US in one piece. Seriously. Looking forward to hearing from you after your depressurization. Take care, my friend. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 09:49, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Platypus

Thanks for the help but: I would have liked to keep the leader in bold like it was in my version. I see it is not the usual UnNews format, but it looked better with the way the next chapter begins. Also, the "sensation news" header was there partly because of the same reason. I can live with those changes but could you please leave the images the way they are now? There's a slight resemblance between Väyrynen and the koala, which is not as apparent if they are too far from each other. Also the text is easier to look at if the images don't cut it like the way they did. -- Style  Guide 14:34, April 12, 2010 (UTC)

Oh yes and - the next subject. Do you want to join in the next series? There would be a spot most suitable for an American news reporter in it. Meet me in chat one of these days please, I log on there quite a lot. -- Style  Guide 14:50, April 12, 2010 (UTC)

To the contrary, cheers to the Chief for trying to make this article look a little bit like news. That's the trade-off here: You get a wider audience, for a couple days, than you would with a permanent article where you'd have to wait for readers to stumble across it--but you have to support the institutional goal of making UnNews pretend to be a legitimate Internet news source! There is nothing about the concept that the platypus was a false claim of the Australian government that could not have been done through the "news" motif. I have been supportive of the new Columns format but have yet to see it deliver any benefit and don't know whether it will be more than a big inside joke. Even Funnybony has harnessed his skill to our Mule Team, mostly keying off real news stories now, and is making progress making it read like news rather than burlesque. How long is it going to take this new guy? Spıke ¬ 18:21 12-Apr-10

Forever. -- Style  Guide 18:50, April 12, 2010 (UTC)

Spike, I know you stalk Zim's talk page, but you don't need to try and explain Zim's edits, especially when you're addressing changes that weren't very relevant to the changes Multiliteralist was talking about. I know you're just trying to be helpful, but it's coming off as kind of pompous and invasive. --EMC ^[TALK] 19:09 Apr 12 2010

Well, Spike: in case you didn't know it, I'm pretty quick to take offense. My articles are not typo-ridden, they are mostly at least OK to read, often funny... you can run UnNews but you will not steer my writing to suit your taste, or whatever you think is acceptable UnNews. If you don't like it the way it comes out, write them yourself. I have put my real-world things off for too long anyway. -- Style  Guide 19:55, April 12, 2010 (UTC)

Sir Multi-kulti: I hadn't noticed that Paavo looks like a koala... oh, wait, I see it now! The reasons for my edit were to make it fit into UnNews; this may be more suited as a UnColumn, but I'll have to give it some thought. As for the pics, I'll leave them the way you like, but normally we like to spread them out.

I liked the article because it's really strange, and appeals to my sense of humor. I added the category about "grammatical errors" because there were a few sentences which sounded odd, at least to my American ears. Adding that category is actually a compliment; it means that it's as good as Hyena blazing, and adds the charm of the piece. Do not change it please! Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:21, April 12, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, I never meant it as a column: I would have used the Column-template otherwise. The columns have a different tone to the writing: challenging, complaining, and so forth. I understand you want to have the newses look identical as far as formatting goes, and will write the next one(s) so that that the first chapter doesn't look like a lead, if the formatting really is that strict. As you notice, in the beginning of this one there is slight repetition, and also now both the first and the second chapter begin like a first chapter. The bold font would have remedied that, marking the first chapter clearly as a lead. It's no big deal to me as long as all the text is there - but since papers often do it the way I did, I thought it would be OK. Also, I was too lazy to change enough of the article to make it look good the other way. Yeah, many sentences may sound odd since obviously some grammatical finnishisms slip in now and then. I thought it was something like that. Also, I'm not offended by anything you did - just wanted to make my reasons clear. Glad you liked it, more is to come sooner or later!

By the way - now that we are on the subject of columns - I think many of the OK writers who write mainspace articles in narrative styles might make good columnists. I don't have anyone in particular in mind, but I might ask around when I see stuff that is good but clearly misplaced in main space. Idea is: a narrative text could be formatted into a column with some really minor changes, and also columns don't need to be long. I have the feeling many writers draw their articles out to fill the "requirements" of a mainspace article. At times, they could perhaps write almost the same thing to work perfectly well as a column, with more punch to it since they could leave it shorter. I don't mean to suggest people fill the place with narrative columns (they can become tedious too), but they do work better than narrative main space articles. -- Style  Guide 04:20, April 13, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 15/4/10 - Yet another on time delivery.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

You'd be crazy not to listen!

Apr 15th, 2010 • Issue 84 • News? Where we're going, we don't need... News...

Something Scary This Way "Comes" By Skinfan13 A recent infestation of glowing dildos has taken over the front page of Uncyclopedia. Many users were shocked on April 11th when they opened up their web browsers and were treated to bright green replicas of EugeneKay's penis. Everywhere. Even poor anti-Semite Mel Gibson couldn't escape the wrath of the glowing dick. And the reason for the Scream in Edvard Munch's famous painting was revealed - turns out to have been caused by a hoard of giant glowing EugeneKay penises - an understandable reaction. When asked to comment on the matter, users simply refused to acknowledge that they had seen the penises at all. "Well, I for one didn't notice anything. Glowing penii are so common around here that these particular examples of illuminated manhood really didn't make an impression..." said Aleister in Chains. HELPME had a different outlook on the whole matter: "of course I noticed, how couldn't I? They were everywhere!" he exclusively told our intrepid reporter. Random internet traffic took notice of the infestation as well, with 127.0.0.1 commenting" "Ballsack!!!11 alolololololololooll pasfsdkjfhaelkfjds PENIS PENIS PENIS." He was promptly banned. The infestation passed almost as quickly as it came and a sense of normalcy returned to the main page when the penises retreated into the dark and abysmal graveyard of unused image files. By April 13th, all traces of the Great Penis Invasion of April 11-13 2010 (as it is now being called) were gone. There are, however, unconfirmed reports that the menace still lingers close to the main page, just waiting to strike again soon. I See IC All At Sea By UU It has come to the attention of our ever-vigilant reporters (largely because Why? has been bugging us to write a story about it) that Why? has decided to stand down as Admiral of Imperial Colonization, the organisation that somewhat amusingly styles itself after British Imperialism, but uses American spelling. We didn't need to ask the outgoing Admiral for a comment, as he was falling over himself to give us plenty, so we randomly selected the following: "I'm anal for accuracy", he told us. Among other things. Anyway, if you want to follow in Why?'s footsteps, and those of his illustrious predecessors in charge of the Colonization project, you can sign up to be considered for the post here. If it helps, you may wear a nice hat (please provide your own hat).

Check out these pages! The seed of a good idea It's a surprise, it says so in the name... Tell Uncle Dex everything. Everything... From our logs: 17:54, 14 April 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.185.215.1 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (On the charge of flagrant asshattery while in posession of an internet connection, I find you incredibly guilty) 20:05, 13 April 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I never gave you an inaugural joke ban? I blame you.) 23:03, 12 April 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 173.55.13.71 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (And the LORD said unto me: "Go ye, and smite the page blankers; they are as shit upon My heavenly sandal") 14:44, 11 April 2010 ChiefjusticeDS blocked 79.73.5.86 with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (You sound clever, and therefore I am blocking you to ensure that your talents are not wasted on us.) 21:19, 11 April 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked EugeneKay (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a random ban time ‎ (chose your own adventure) Biopic of the Week Continuing our glorious occasional tradition of bio-ing people who haven't contributed for months and half the newer members of the wiki will never have heard of, let's have a look at Andorin Kato. An Uncyc stalwart since 2006, Andorin was voting on VFD, QVFDing stuff and writing good articles when most of today's active users were in short trousers (they're still in short trousers, of course, but it's been a while). In true on-the-ball Uncyc fashion, this hard work was recognised when Andorin was made UotM in November 2009. He was less than thrilled. The nostalgic return of Cajek Ban of the Week 11:39, 14 April 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (About time I did this. It's been a good two weeks and I haven't done yet.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticeGameBoy 20:21, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

One tiny thing

To me, my latest column would look better without Sources&original bit. It's not mews, strictly speaking, but a column written with the purpose of provoking action. If you insist, OK, but it would look more logical without those. -- Style  Guide 19:54, April 18, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, it's an UnNews thing... Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:58, April 18, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:They Took Our Jobs 2010

This UnNews is a thinly disguised political screed (code words: Neocon and Teabagger) from an extreme leftie anguished because he thinks Obama hasn't been leftie enough. Suffers from Bush Derangement Syndrome and H-1B Visa Derangement Syndrome. Moreover, he doesn't try to get funny until the last paragraph, and his funny is my random. To me, it calls for a mercy move. Spıke ¬ 01:33 20-Apr-10

It's an unfunny rant. Can we userfy it? Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 01:49, Apr 20 2010 UTC

Done. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:28, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

Hi

Hey Zim, I was just shown this on IRC and thought I would drop it here so you could cast your all seeing eyes over it for UnNews potential. Hope it can be of some use, if it can't then this was all Bonner's idea. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 15:28, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

Hah! That is just too much! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:33, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

Yo Zimbo

I crossed the whole freakin' world. Cool huh!? Been out of touch. But I just sent one maybe OK. Hope you're well, dude! Cheers--Funnybony    18:45, Apr 20

Cool indeed, hope you are well, and still bat fuck insane. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:13, April 21, 2010 (UTC)

Bat Fuck Stops Here

I happened to be on-line when you mistakenly updated the Source of my article on the resumption of air flights. Was shocked and about to yell and scream at you under the heading above, but it was quickly corrected. PS--I am in your city right now (at LeLacheur Park) until 18:00. Right behind home plate. Spıke ¬ 18:27 21-Apr-10

Yeah, I used your article to copy the sources et. al. into my article, and mistakenly saved changes to your article, then reverted it. I should stay off the computer when I'm having seizures, I guess. Enjoy the game. I'm across the river, plotting to hack the sound system... any minute, you should be hearing farts on the PA.Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:12, April 21, 2010 (UTC)

That would beat the rap music we're getting between innings! Concordia 3, UMass-Lowell 3, 14th inning and counting. Spıke ¬ 23:26 21-Apr-10 PS--After trading runs in the 13th, the hosts won it (4-3) in the bottom of the 14th. Spıke ¬ 13:15 22-Apr-10

Issues for you remain in Section 18.1 of UnNews:Newsroom. Also, what if we take User:SPIKE/Sports Page to beta to see if anyone reacts at all, or states a preference between Religion, which looks more like the Uncyclopedia home page, and Sports, which looks like the UnNews Front Page. Spıke ¬ 13:33 22-Apr-10

I'll get to that later. It's been a long day for me. Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 23:02, April 22, 2010 (UTC)

I've added Sports Page beta to the Navbar. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 23:33, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

Old business

As mentioned in Section 18.1 of UnNews:Newsroom, I've nominated for VFD one of the two Categories for articles that ought not suffer drive-by improvement by new editors. The categories are similar, long-winded, and Category names should not crack wise. You may wish to make your views known on VFD.

And I still need to know the answer you and Mr.N. reached: Is it you, or the author, responsible for updating {{RecentUnNews}}? Spıke ¬ 20:34 26-Apr-10

An editor (like me) or a responsible registered user (like you and certain others) is certainly capable. I think it should be considered less a venue for a writer to whore their particular article, and more a way for UnNews to whore itself. In other words, hands off to n00bs. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 22:14, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

I hear you. Then the calls for a greater push for said n00bs to edit {{RecentUnNews}} should be ignored. There is no reference to {{RecentUnNews}} left in the Style Guide or in the Letter From the Chief, but there is (under the blank field) in Help:How to write an UnNews article--Should that be taken out?

For UnNews Audio, as de-facto keeper of {{RecentUnNewsAudio}}, I come down on the opposite side; except for article-by-article examination (every how many hours?) there is no other way to find out that an audio has been recorded unless even n00bs hump their own articles there. Spıke ¬ 22:25 26-Apr-10

Rename, please

GlobalTourniquet's story today about the soccer-playing abortion doctor is too long; could you rename it to align with the UnNews Audio title?

Is this now a non-issue? Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:20, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

No! This is not about the verbose Category, it's about the verbosely titled UnNews of 27 April. Spıke ¬ 21:40 27-Apr-10

I'm sorry, am I missing something here? Renaming the UnNews piece to meet the audio's name? ~ 22:22, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

I claim that UnNews:Abortion doctor who scored own-goal in international match draws cartoon of Muhammed to achieve moronic death threat trifecta is too long for a headline, and I suggest the same name I gave to the audio version: UnNews:Soccer-playing abortion doctor goes for the death-threat trifecta. Spıke ¬ 22:46 27-Apr-10

Did you consider talking with the author rather than claim claims and go directly to Zim? ~ 22:51, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

No I didn't; I assumed Zim as an admin could do it simply. I renamed a few during his absence, and probably left redirects all over the place. And GlobalTourniquet's post-edit of the article has a change summary that indicates that he felt bound by the title he had chosen (so he changed the text instead). Spıke ¬ 22:57 27-Apr-10

I think you assumed too much in this case and it would have been much better to go and have a chat with the author rather than make the decision for him, even if it's implied in his edit summary. If he really wanted to change the name, he could have done a simple move page himself and he is veteran enough to know how to do so. It's one thing to change a name due to a misspell, it's another because it doesn't fit with your concept of how a title should look like. ~ 23:02, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

I think adjusting UnNews headlines is an unremarkable editorial function. But I'll take my suggestion to GlobalTourniquet. Spıke ¬ 23:16 27-Apr-10

PS--And UnNews:Recent poll suggusts that majority of Tea-Partiers distrust the government‎, a headline with a typo, could become UnNews:Poll: Most Tea-Partiers distrust government. I.P.Anon today fixed other typoes in the article. Spıke ¬ 22:57 27-Apr-10

---

And that makes 18 of this month's 19 recorded features. Can I haz a nomination? Spıke ¬ 12:29 27-Apr-10

Done. I was a bit forgetful about that, and many other things this month. Apologies. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:20, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

All good now; thanks! Spıke ¬ 21:40 27-Apr-10

---

And now the damned thing is the Lead Article! For God's sake, you don't have to give the complete punch line in the headline! This is ugly! Spıke ¬ 11:29 28-Apr-10

You know, I have one article whose title is even longer. It's funny, the entire time I was chewing on that one I was thinking to myself, "Self, the entire joke is in your headline. The news story is all like filler made up to justify the joke in the headline. What up with that?" Then I said, "Shut up, other self." Then I said, "I certainly will not. Why not use this for an UnMagazine line? That way you don't have to write the story." Then I thought about it and said "No, it's too long for UnMag. Besides, I have another story with an even longer headline. UnNews it is." Then I said, "Why not shorten the headline and tell the joke in the story." I thought about that and decided I didn't like it. The joke is better in the headline. So be italic and chop the bitch up if it will improve this wiki if only by a small bit. Oh, and btw, I do know how to change an UnNews title - I was just telling a silly joke in that anno, you know, celebrating my own laziness - I could have gone with Mo or Mu, and I chose Mu simply because it was easier. Was this post too long-winded for you too? I can be such a wordy motherfucker sometimes, huh? Well, have a nice day. Love to the children. -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 14:42, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

Tl;dr. No, seriously, I did read it. I love the article, did it in Audio, would be happy to see an adaptation on UnMagazine, but I'll accept your invitation to rename it. Spıke ¬ 15:24 28-Apr-10

UnNews:Overclocking - A Thread to Society? Or old news?

Needs a mercy move to userspace, except that the author is I.P.Anon and he doesn't have a userspace. This article is all over the map, it celebrates the author's ability to turn a phrase rather than do anything for the reader, it isn't about the news, as it isn't about anything, and it ends with a URL to the guy's own web site. I'd huff it. Spıke ¬ 21:23 29-Apr-10

Back home from home

Zimbo! Made it home from nice family visit with everyone. Neat. How are things? What's new? Cheers!--Funnybony    11:52, Apr 30

UnSignpost 1 May

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost: Special Weekend edition

The Newspaper That Contains Neither News Nor Paper.

April 22nd 1st May, 2010 • Issue 85 • Insert penis joke here

The launch of a new and exciting weekend edition. Maybe. By PuppyOnTheRadio "Where is my signpost?" was the cry heard from the world wide masses this week. "There should have been an issue on the 22nd and on the 29th, and nothing seems to have been done about it." Fear not, gentle reader, for the signpost will not go gentle into the good night. We have instead taken a brief hiatus for no reason that we could conceivably come up with, and now we are back in a blaze of glory. For those who are unaware of our proud history, the next issue, coming out this Thursday, will mark the (roughly) 2 year anniversary of the creation of the UnSignpost, the unperiodic periodical started by Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek. The good doctor, at the time of the first issue, was asked what his feelings were towards creating the first formalised forum for spam within Uncyclopedia. It was from this that we now have the immortal words "Those assholes better appreciate this. They'd BETTER." Now, two years on from those words of wit and wisdom, the UnSignpost is still struggling going strong. There have been varied reports as to why the USP has not been released. One suggestion is that regular contributors just "couldn't be bothered writing." Others have suggested that it comes down to the unwillingness of the head editor, who was recently heard to say "I'm so against... this... again... (E)xistence is far more than (it) deserves." One of the more probable reasons for the lack of issues may be that the news has now gone viral, and is available more readily through facebook then it has been previously. One facebook semi-regular, who bears a remarkable resemblance to a Silent Bob inaction figure, has said of this development "Excuse me, but I think your geek is showing." Dexter111344 supported the move to the social networking site by saying "I won't be joining as I don't intend to ever make a Facebook." Another possibility is the number of users now communicating via UnSkypelopedia. When asked for a comment, EMC said "OH FUCKING CHRIST I'VE CUM" Dr.Skullthumper, however, said "I started both of them.", and then wished to make reference to some forum or something. Ethine, however, was somewhat more constructive, informing this reporter that "Since it's getting close to summer, we'll likely have more calls, as most people's schedules are slowing down. As well as calls, we have the neat little chat thing at the bottom, where everyone sexually harasses each other when calls aren't going." Despite several attempts, I still haven't been sexually harassed. One reason why users have not been as distracted recently is due to the enormous amount of work going on at PEE review. At present there are articles waiting for review which have been there for over three weeks. For all those who are looking to get the review process back and alive, please pick up an article for review today. Your time and investment into this proud tradition can create the next great article, like the recently featured A wizard did it or the recently nominated UnNews:Windows 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 came out, hailed by some as "the most profound and groundbreaking article to hit Uncyclopedia in over 50 years" Another reason why many users may be distracted is the number of collaborations that are currently in progress. Of those there is Tim Burton, being cleaned up by the team at ΥΣΣ, lead by the fantastic Skinfan13. Also starting to make some ground in the spread of reliable information is the team at Multiliteralist/Summit of Spin, lead by the wonderful Multiliteralist. And of course, coming out blinking from seeing the light of Discordianism is the ever faithful Imperial colonization, lead by everyone's favourite canine, RDB PuppyOnTheRadio. And of course, another reason might simply be that the team here at USP are all running around arranging bake sales to assist with Poo Lit Surprise, the bi-annual competition that actually gives prizes to the winners. The most likely explanation, however, is that nothing newsworthy ever happens on Uncyclopedia

Check out these pages! UnNews:Windows 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 came out Looks who's out of the closet. The most profound and groundbreaking article to hit Uncyclopedia in over 50 years From our logs: Flammable blocked 86.171.18.85 with an expiry time of infinite ‎(YOU ARE SO COOL SO COOL AWESOME LOL) ChiefjusticeDS blocked 91.195.183.211 with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(Ah, that may be true, but you are a wanker, so it evens out) Olipro blocked 92.4.117.223 with an expiry time of infinite (YOU EVER BEEN FUCKED IN THE ARSE WHILE WATCHING A YANKEES GAME?) Mordillo blocked 217.28.207.226 with an expiry time of 1 week (time's up! you need to go to the toilet to do some poopy!) RabbiTechno blocked 91.195.183.213 with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(Cyberbullying. Matthew R. would like to point out that while he may be gay, you are banned) Olipro blocked YOUR TOO SLOW! with an expiry time of infinite ‎(your spelling is shit, it's spelt "YOU'RE" ... so that means you're a fucking retard) ChiefjusticeDS blocked God-Is-Cool with an expiry time of 40 days ‎(Blessed be the Uncyclopedia admins for they shall lead us to the promised land, also bye bye!) Mordillo blocked God-Is-Cool with an expiry time of 40 years (It took them 40 years not 40 days you bloody heathen) Biopic of the Week What can anyone say about Maniac1075. There are rumours that he is not an individual, but rather a multinational conglomerate of authors who do nothing but write quality articles on an extremely high rate. Or at least on an extreme high. However you look at it his contributions to date have been fast and furious. There is definitely something odd with him at least. If nothing else, he has a scarily in-depth knowledge of the world of professional wrestling. In fact he has been nominated as both Writer of the month and Potatochopper of the month. There is a particular school of though that says that these fields here should be filled in with any old garbage in order to ensure that both the left and the right hand sides of the USP are of the same length. While we appreciate this sentiment, the truth is that the USP is known to be constantly at bursting point with information that we can't fit into one column, and so this right hand column is essential for the stuff that we can't fit elsewhere. SCROTUM The above section is not a prime example of the statement in the section above. Please feel free to ignore it.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Brought to you by fucking magic. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 09:45, 1 May 2010

UnNews:Dragon Ball Z Kai, soon to be on Nickelodeon, sign that the end is near, or begining of an era?

Another candidate for mercy move: Signed, first-person, insults the reader, botches English, not based on news, doesn't read like news, a tour de force of failure to understand anything about writing UnNews. Spıke ¬ 02:06 5-May-10

Are you away?

I changed the water in the fish tank. Spıke ¬ 17:21 5-May-10

Thanks for that. Yeah, real life is getting annoyingly intrusive as of late. I do this from time to time, drift in and out for a while. Nothing very unusual. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:40, May 7, 2010 (UTC)

Whole Lotta Rosie

Hi Zim, somehow I just knew you guys would like the Playboy news. A least Heff can count on two loyal customers. HarHar! Cheers--Funnybony    15:22, May 12

I was going to tell you, the inflatable centerfold thing is brilliant! Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:26, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

Even I know, the way to the Chief's heart is through the porn motif! For my part, I am contriving so that "Sluts don't cause earthquakes" doesn't fall off the end of Recent Audios. Spıke ¬ 16:26 12-May-10

In truth, well-executed bat fuck is the way to the chiefs heart. The Iranian presidents idea that sluts are somehow connected to earthquakes is so much more bat fuck than porn. I commend you for your contrivances, SPIKE. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:46, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

May 16 - quotes survey on enonomy

Hi Zim! I put in a quirky story that's more an "unNews" than "Unnews". and half expect it to get huffed (in spite of being so over-the-top as to be absurd OR horrifying OR funny). And I don't care if you huff it or not. I have no idea how to delete an article. Spike suggested editing - but I thought I better leave that to you to see first, and decide to use or trash. I'm fine whatever you think is good. The other book news is just a change of pace outright absurd, or "bat fuck". Cheers!--Funnybony    16:44, May 16

I liked it. OJ has been our of the UnNews spotlight far too long. cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:44, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Literacy declining in Florida, study finds

Was the inept use of the possessive, etc., deliberate in this article? (STOOPID!!!) I need to do an Audio, but this one seems to key off a photo, making it problematic. First quote needs the name of a speaker. Spıke ¬ 14:15 17-May-10

My inept use of the possesive was unintentional and embarassing. Please edit as you will, making it suitable for an audio. There are demons in my pants. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:43, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

I've scrubbed it generally. Didn't like citing Comedy Central as a source; it ought not to give the reader such hints that this is comedy. Still not much to go on for an Audio. Spıke ¬ 15:27 17-May-10

And it's been five days! and there's only one old idea lying around...THE FLAME WAR. Spıke ¬ 23:41 17-May-10

UnNews:New UnNews OpEd ATBF section

Fucking inscrutable. But you'll take that as a compliment.

Does this mean you are going to substitute this new thing for the placeholder Columns and Letters alpha in the nav-bar? Spıke ¬ 16:48 22-May-10

HAH! That's the word I was looking for... inscrutable. And yes, thank you for the compliment. I have been considering starting work on the Columns and Letters thingy soon. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:03, May 22, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Make A Wish orders cancer survivor to pay up

[See its talk page.] As someone who sort of helped out on this article, I'd like your thoughts before I change anything at all. Though I did remove the fake paperwork with their logo on it, cause the commenter seems like a codpiece. --Puffskein 01:00, May 26, 2010 (UTC)

No worries, mate. I'll handle this codpiece myself on the talk page. I'm also going to restore the pic you removed; one anonymous critic does not have the weight to make you feel badly about an honest attempt at satire. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:17, May 26, 2010 (UTC)

My two cents are on the story's talk page. Followed, now, by yours. But copying the dialogue to the UnNews Letters Page? That was a surprise! No one will say we are hard up for material! And your response...fucking inscrutable--but you'll take that as a compliment! Spıke ¬ 03:17 26-May-10

Yeah, well you get what you pay for. I thought it was just so cool, getting a real letter like that. And yes, thanks for the compliment. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:28, May 26, 2010 (UTC)

Despite that, would you mind if I nominated this for deletion? I state on the talk page that the story is too similar to a real hatchet-job, and I'd like to see what other people think. Spıke ¬ 13:57 26-May-10

I think we should keep it alive, if only to preserve the historic record of UnNews first cogent letter. Sieg heil! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:34, May 26, 2010 (UTC)

It is historic. But in any case, it is now preserved on the Letters Page. Your response sounds like a vote against deletion, to which you are entitled, not a veto or strong objection to nomination (except for the Sieg Heil part), and I will nominate it. Spıke ¬ 15:44 26-May-10

I don't see any reason to VFD it, unless you think it's utterly unfunny. Having an objection over its talk page its certainly not a good reason IMO. ~ 16:01, May 26, 2010 (UTC)

It's not "utterly unfunny" but the case I state against it depends on content, not on this guy's objection nor on a belief that he is who he says he is. Your rebuttal on VFD is reasonable and you will probably prevail, which will settle the issue better than by ignoring it. Spıke ¬ 16:15 26-May-10

Five votes to Keep on VFD--Issue resolved satisfactorily and with minimal drama. Spıke ¬ 15:20 27-May-10

UnNews:Gov. Deval Patrick, "I will play the race card"‎

Jeezus, Chief! I just finish lecturing Sean Cashin on advocacy and you weigh in with this! I tried to make it read a little more like news. But it should also mention Patrick's campaign opponents (such as "Charlie Baker, who has run something other than an affirmative-action corporate shakedown") and especially spoiler Tim Cahill, given the out-of-state attack ads and his current refusal to distance himself from patronage and corruption. But by all means the headline needs to reference "Mass. Gov. Patrick" for the benefit of everyone else in the world. Spıke ¬ 12:46 30-May-10

That's "Jesus Chief" to you. Good edits IMHO. The central theme of this story is misinformation: the inclusion of facts were not intentional. Good point about the title too. The Cabal has changed its mind; you are handy to have about. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:17, May 30, 2010 (UTC)

Unlock your awards page

Cause I couldn't add this:

	Foolitzer Prize Winner May 2010

Also, archive your talk page. It's way too long. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 07:53, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

PS: That's a fact. So long, Zim, that you probably can't find our conversation about music. But I cherry-picked four tunes from Oregon from walmart.com, based on your recommendation. Most of their stuff seemed like "performances" rather than "songs"--When a music critic pans an album as "radio-friendly" (i.e., simplistic), I run out and buy it assuming it has simple, memorable themes--But "Ecotopia" is now in my Top 432 in the car. Spıke ¬ 12:52 1-Jun-10