UnNews:Poll: Most Tea-Partiers distrust government
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
22 April 2010
Washington, D.C. -- Last week, many average people went out into the streets, and protested the government. It is unclear as to why this happened, but several scientists began studying this phenomenon. As expected, news cameras were right on the scene, interviewing many of these protesters about their motive.
Most of them answered that they were tired of being taxed. Top experts are studying what these "taxes" are. But when asked about the government, they all responded that they distrusted it.
Not all the protest was directed at these "taxes", and much at the government itself. These average people all took the opportunity to offer constructive criticism to the President.
Many of brave people started talking of "Revolution", and "Taking their country back". It is not clear what they were using this as a metaphor for, but it is obvious that they aren't actually planning on trying to take over the country. After all, that would require a large amount of firearms, which these people clearly don't have.
Nobody is sure why, but apparently, Obama should be ashamed of himself. How could he... do whatever is is he did? But it must have been something horrible to upset all of these people. The only solution that makes sense is that Obama must have done something horrible while we weren't watching, but all of these people saw it. How else could he have upset so many people?
All of these people should be considered heroes, even though nobody is sure what they're doing. But, after talking to them, I feel proud to be part of this great nation. These people are perfect examples of an ideal American.
At least that what I thought, until I got back to my news HQ, and my coworkers proceeded to explain to me how dangerous they actually were.
Apparently, all of these Tea-Partiers are right wing extremists, who wouldn't hesitate to tear down the foundation of the government, and start killing many people. They are extremely dangerous people, who need to be watched like hawks. No matter who they are, or what they look like, if they're members of the Tea Party, they are radical extremists.
The Tea Party is the most dangerous, evil, vile thing in the world. They are a threat to national security. They are all racist, evil people who want Obama dead.
These people are clearly the worst thing that has ever happened to America, and it would be doing everyone a favor if they were just wiped out.
