User:Zim ulator/archive2

New Messages at the top, please

Re: UnNews:They're going to marry the gays, ha-haaa!!

I think the article might indeed be better for UnTunes. I'll probably move it in a couple of days (in the meantime I've pushed the article's date back a couple of days) unless I've changed my mind. If I feel like doing an audio rendition (I'm not much of a singer but I doubt this would be too hard) I'll probably do it this weekend. John1728 02:13, 22 February 2007 (UTC)

Thanks

Thanks for ur message! Asher2032 22:17, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

Also, I'm piggybacking on this because I don't want to make a new message and be all cluttery: Thanks for the holy axe blessing! I just hope the blade was facing up. I like my shoulders, y'know...

Contestant CUN -- VFH NotM Buzz Ctrbs 01:09, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

Please do something about "front page" vandals

Zim, several articles that I have written and that others have written that have been posted on Unnews' "front page" have been vandalized. For example, someone changed the spelling of "Florida" to "Forida" in the dateline to "Burger King introduces Bun Burgers" ([1]) and, in "Pelosi bill would have Bush cracking the books" ([2]), someone--perhaps the same vandal--changed "Nancy Pelosi" (in "Secretary of State Nancy Pelosi") to "Ron Jeremy" and "American" to "English"). These are not edits, because they are not only unnecessary but they also degrade the humor of the piece or simply look stupid. In the article's text, it is an easy matter to revert to the former version, but I don't know how to correct the text to an article after it has appeared on the "front page," because changing the text of the article per se has no effect on the text on the "front page." Can you help us out by finding a way to prevent this nuisance? It's very annoying. Thanks. 172.190.154.144 04:38, 8 February 2007 (UTC)Weebils

Irish Duckists Rebel

Hey thanx for doin me story. Ur a legend man! Hogie506.

Audio for Fat Chicks outlawed in Japan

I rove you. -Paine ^T^C 01:24, 3 February 2007 (UTC)

UOTM

Braydie thanks you for voting for him to be Uncyclopedian of the Month January 2007.

—Braydie at 15:30, 2 February 2007 (UTC)

Hey, I sound like Kermit the Frog!

So, I tried the audio UnNews thing...don't know how well it worked...would you mind listening to

. Oh, and I made a Canadian UnNews Jingle

; mostly because I'm quite mad. If I wasn't allowed to, feel free to do a Karate Kid montage, then come after me.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 05:22, 31 January 2007 (UTC)

Kisses and hugs!

You like me!
You really like me!
This user appreciates your praise.

Thanks for the nomination. By the way, if you get the time, take a look at Faggotry. I ran by my brother and his boyfriend and they seemed to like it - but then again, they like asparagus too. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 02:21, 31 January 2007 (UTC)

Recording In Progress

To prevent this happening again:

	This news story is currently being recorded as an audio file by zim.
	Sayeth zim: "Hold on... this one's mine!"

I have prepared this template ({{RIP Zim}}:

--++++++++[>+++++++++++>+++++++++++++>++++++++++++<<<-]>----.>.---.++++++++.>+.<+++++++.--.>++++++++.<++++++.>----.----.<----.-.++++++.----------.++++++. 23:33, 30 January 2007 (UTC)

Unnews Courts Audio

It was fun as always. And this is what you get when I record at 1am. Btw, start spreading the following:

~ 08:40, 30 January 2007 (UTC)

Congratulations, you now have a project named after you

Uncyclopedia:Zim ulator's Corner.
I am, as always, your humble minion. ~

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

Well, kind of. The Valencia Grapes article did stay up for a while, but it turns out even Wikipedia reads our UNNews, proving that we are the most popular news on the internet. It's also the reason why it was deleted. I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to read it; it really crushed my heart in the audio when you said you were dissapointed. Just wanted to tell you I know you run a quality fake news program, and I didn't mean to trample all over it with my crappy fake-fake-news. Thanks again for the audio! --Anyone 14:37, 26 January 2007 (UTC)

And, just FYI ...

Your reading of UnNews:Gimp group objects to K-Fed ad was ... perfect. The FYI is heartwarming too - David Gerard 19:36, 25 January 2007 (UTC)

Forum:Purposal: new audio "RadicalX" corner

Before I create it, I'd like permission to use your name, i.e: Zim_ulators corner.... Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 12:22, 24 January 2007 (UTC)

I need audio for an Uncyc article

I have been writing an article about Don LaFontaine, the Movie Trailer Announcer Guy, and I was wondering if you were willing to provide audio for it. I want you to do a baritone movie trailer voice. Here are some examples of the voice:

I think that's enough. Can't wait to hear the voice! PF4Eva, the President of Imagination Vote for me My tax returns 23:52, 21 January 2007 (UTC)

Here's what I've written so far for the article, with retrofuture42 adding some extra stuff to it:

In a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success...
One man... will provide his voice in innumerable trailers...

His name is Don LaFontaine, and he has been doing movie trailer voiceovers for over 40 years...and nothing will stand in his way.

Don LaFontaine (born August 26, 1940) has been nicknamed...

"The King of Movie Trailers"...
"Mr. Throat"...
"Golden Throat"...
"Sore Throat Bloke"...
"The Tectonic Faultline"...
"The Megaphone"...
"Thunder Throat"...
"The Voice of God"...
"James Earl Jones"...

His credits include such trailers as...

Friday the 13th...
Halloween...
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers...
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers...
Halloween 6: The Revenge and Return of Michael Moore...
The Terminator...
Terminator 2: Judgment Day...
Dr. Strangelove...
The Godfather...
Chicken Run...
Daddy Day Care...
Batman...

He has even parodied himself in those Geico commercials...

BUT SOON HIS TRUE IDENTITY WILL BE REVEALED!

As Hollywood makes even more movies for him to deal with...

His voice will

BOOM

in an

ominous drone...

This Summer...
One man will let his voice be heard...

ONCE and FOR ALL!!!

MOVIE TRAILER ANNOUNCER GUY
One man, and his quest to sound really, really baritone.

I want it to sound like a trailer to an action, horror, thriller, disaster, and/or end-of-the-world movie trailer. I want the background music to sound either horrific or dramatic. I know you can come up with some hilarious audio. PF4Eva, the President of Imagination Vote for me My tax returns 22:12, 25 January 2007 (UTC)

New Messages Here

Zim! Good edits on the Devlin page. Because this item has been in the news so much, I'm surprised there aren't more UnNews articles about this guy.

Bugger it

Every time you're in the channel I keep missing you, so I figured it'd be a good place to say hi and ask you how your christmas was, hopefully I'll catch you live eventually though :P --Olipro Anchor KUN (Harass) 13:53, 20 January 2007 (UTC)

A job well done

As you may or may not be aware, yesterday I created my second UnNews. The first one was a pile of crap, of which I am ashamed. This second one I am not so ashamed of. I am, however, very happy with the UnAudio which you made for it. Well, I shant clutter up you beutiful whiteness with anymore of my text, but I will however award you the hight prized Zombieminion.

Zombieminion

This user has recieved a Zombie slave from Zombiebaron for obviously doing something to impress him. Zombieminions must be fed thrice daily on brains or cheese and can be expected to serve you like a slave.

So yah, keep up the good work pally. --The Zombiebaron 03:30, 10 January 2007 (UTC)

Furthermore, Zim rocks

Talking Boony yesterday

Hey Rev, thanks for the "Holidays" blessing. I'm flagellating myself in your honour as we speak. (BTW, I loved your weary sigh at the end of that Mutha Teresa bullshit).

Anyways, I belatedly award you my own festive bollocks, to wit: a pic of a Talking Boony doll. I intend to explain later. Compo1 has one coming to him or her too.

Up ya bum* -- Sir Armando Perentie KUN FP 06:15, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

(*butt)

Hey Zim, I'm as busy as a one-armed taxi driver with the crabs, so I can't really explain about the Boony doll at the moment, other than to say that David Boon was one of the world's best cricket batsmen of his time, even though he had been known to drink 52 cans of beer (375ml or 12.7oz at 4.9% alcohol/volume) on a flight to London to play said sport at the highest level.

That, along with his moustache and the ability to score huge numbers of runs while being belted all about the head and body with a small, leather-bound cannonball being propelled at 90mph has made him something of a totem of Australian manhood. Actually, it was probably 80% the drinking. Afterm all, there have been cricketers with bigger mos. -- Sir Armando Perentie KUN FP 09:14, 9 January 2007 (UTC)

Good work on my random piece of UnNews. Despite not being British you manage to sound like someone who didn't have the faintest clue what the fuck you were talking about. I salute you. --Billsheppard 01:30, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

Fixing Freewebs and other gumpf

Just read your message, I'd have replied sooner but I was on holiday in your wonderful country, I'll get right on it, there's probably an e-mail in my Gmail account with a link for me to click, but either way I'll get is sorted --Olipro Anchor KUN (Harass) 19:35, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

RE: Man types on New Years

Don't you have anything better to do than play God on a public-forum free-form humor site? Come on, woman. Like my article being up was hurting anyone? On a serious note, though... sites like this are up to provide people refuge from those legions of conformist tight-ass editing nerds at Wikipedia.... Is there a degree for what you do?

Shittingly,

Mal Contenentia

We have a public-forum free-form humour site? Cool? Actually the Admins and other regular users play God as, as much as we would like to have an open house, it just isn't possible. The site would soon fill up with utter shite and we'd all be wading though it to get to the comedic gold. If an article is removed there's usually a very specific reason as to why, ie its a vanity piece, something to do with some group, website, person that no one has ever heard of, or that sort of thing. Our online University does offer a Degree in Shite Management. Hope that helps. -- Sir Mhaille

(talk to me)

Best of 2006

Father Zim, long time no text! How yar doing in the halls of Valhalla? I was thinking about creating best articles of 2006 as those rascals in the main namespace doing. What thinks you? Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 08:59, 2 January 2007 (UTC)

New Article -- This One's an Update!

Check it out!

Update: Gerald Ford rises again!

Could you make it of greater prominence on the UnNews Main Page, please?

Thanks!

The Humbled Master 04:13, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

A Reward from the Humbled Master

For you, my leige...

Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices! The Humbled Master lowfully exalts you.

Your approval rating has increased exponentially.

In the name of Sidney Trammell, Henry Carver, and the Church of God the Wholly Incompetent, kneel and receive the meddling of the Master's humble eye-poke. Rejoice, and be glad!

The Humbled Master 00:40, 30 December 2006 (UTC)

Where I am from!?

Sorry for taking this long to get back to you, Zim. I am from England. --Danny Himself 21:26, 26 December 2006 (UTC)

Quidquid Latine dictum sit altum viditur

Ad perpetuam memoriam de Sol Invictus

Composure1, writer of UnNews and humble servant of Uncyclopedia, sends personal greetings to you [insert username here], on this festival for our glorious god Sol Invictus. While many heathen have long abandoned our undefeated sun god, especially since Emperor Theodosius I banned the holiday in the year 390, I know that you are a true believer like me. So I hope you are celebrating with all the necessary debauchery and sacrifices, and I wish you the very best. Orta recens quam pura nites Sol Invictus! --Composure1 18:58, 24 December 2006 (UTC)

KAWAIII!!!!

I HAVE A NEW ENCODER!!!!!, SO BE PREPARD!!!!

Sir NeoZidane • CUN • talk

Merry Christmas

Santa Claus has given you an UnBooks voucher for Christmas.
This voucher can be exchanged at any UnBooks store for an UnBook.
If you wish to complain about your Christmas present, do it here.
Merry Christmas!

From Santa Claus.

If you are another child that thinks they need a present, leave a message here (Santa never forgets, but he is getting on a bit.) Ho Ho Ho from Santa Claus 15:58, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Hello, Rev, old friend. Mary Jane sends her seasoned greetings and a pot full of love, which probably won't make it through customs but you know how she can be. Speaking of which, please pass my highest regards and best wellwhishes on to Segway. Anyroads, I'd send you a surprise package of goodies obtained at the local coffee shoppe for placement under the ole christmas tree but after reading the US Postal Code I figured it'd only get you into trouble for being on the receiving end...an besides, I have no address to send it to (as is only proper amongst webby friends, no complaints there). So, I wish you the best of times for the coming yuletide and will pray to my own personal deity (yes I have one - she is sooo cool, a fifteenth century gipsy girl that somehow manages to ignore the fact that she was murdered by the villagers for "being a witch", i can relate to that, i ignore a lot of facts too) imploring a betterment of the troubles you are suffering from. From a small country by the shores of the Northern Sea, all the best! -- di Mario 16:11, 24 December 2006 (UTC)

Xmas

What to say, er, merry Christmas, or something like that. yeah, that will do, er, thanks.--Sir Silent Penguin "your site makes no sence" The illusion is complete 15:53, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Yet Another darn late card

Zimmy, heya, hows stuff, hopefully I can get the mess with my Audio coders out, and once again become prince of Zimia, have a happy monkey -me or whatever it is. :P

Sir NeoZidane • CUN • talk

Thanks!

It's like getting a christmas card from the Pope (or Jesus, or both)! I am so honoured! While I lack the comedic talent to create a card of my own, I wish you a Merry Kaizum Me, too. » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 05:24, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Yes!!!! thankees!!!! I am bery honored aswell!!!!!! YAYNESS!!!!! nice to hear from you too!!!!, yes, Merry Kaizum Me to you and all!!! All the bestest wishes! The HRH MuCal. Tayor MUN (Praise!) (CMC!)

Xmas

This holiday season, just remember, Christmas was the result of the usurping of a pagan tradition by Christians for their own selfish purposes, and Jesus was probably born in April.

-- Zaui 23:13, 21 December 2006 (UTC)

Premier Tom Mayfair does not share in your pagan ways.
Nor does he celebrate capitalist retail. He hopes that you
convert to Communism before it's too late. Do the right thing.
Пролетарии всех стран, соединяйтесь!

|

22:17, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

Bradaphraser was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and
realised they had ~~purposefully~~ forgotten about you.
This user is completely thoughtless, doesn't care about Multi-culturalism,
and therefore DEMANDS you have yourself a Merry little Christmas... NOW!

Failure to comply with result in disciplinary action up to and including excommunication from the Capitalist Church

May you focus on your successes and forget your failures here at the end of the year. Never forget how we all improve one another's lives. Season's Greetings.--<<>> 17:35, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Nothing says [[Insert religious or pagan holiday of your choice]] like getting drunk with a moose. So this year, why not savour a treasured Canadian tradition with a bottle of hooch, horns, hooves, and hypothermia? The drinks are on me. ~ Todd

--Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 16:15, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Codeine proffers you a Humbug
as he cares not for your Judeo-Christian festivals of Pagan origin
(but wishes you a very merry time of it anyway)

Here's to ya, Z-Man! -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 18:36, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Braydie was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and
realised they had ~~purposefully~~ forgotten about you.
This user doesn't care about Multi-culturalism,
and DEMANDS you have a Merry Christmas... NOW!

Merry Christmas --—Braydie 19:34, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Mordillo is a bloody Jew and therefore believes that Xmas is plain silly, Jesus was a nice Jewish boy with some weird ideas, Santa is an old drunk and socks are meant to be put on your cold smelly feet.

However, since it's not your fault for being born to the wrong nation, you might as well enjoy a very HAPPY HANUKKAH and rejoice, for once again the Greeks had one coming.
Only 4.5 months left till Passover, start looking for Christian kids for the preparation of the Matzo Bread!

Merry whatever Rev! Have a lovely year! -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 22:37, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

flyingfeline finally gave up on Tesco and started
making her own Christmas cards. Oh joy.
Sorry if the glue sticks your fingers together.

Merry Christmas! Have a chocolate microphone... wait, I wondered where that had gone. Damn. Guess that means I'll have to get back to those audios, then... -- 00:24, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Happy Holidays* from the Holiday Turtle!
May all of your Holiday wishes come true!
(*Designated holidays may include, but are not limited to:
Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Year's Eve, and the Winter Solstice)

Happy happy happy. t o m p k i n s blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 00:56, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Have a Happy... umm...
	Hinoa wishes you a ~~Merry Christmas~~ ~~Happy Hanukkah~~ ~~Happy Kwanzaa~~ ~~Happy New Year~~ ~~Feliz Navidad~~ ~~Merry Crimbo~~ Ah, screw it. Happy December. (And the latter half of November, just to be safe.)

—Sir Major Hinoa [TALK] [KUN] [01:03, 19 December 2006 (UTC)]

Merry Chrizzle, Happy Hanukizzle,
and a Kick Ass Kwizzle from Me & Snoop Dizzle!

--Naughtius Maximus

F@H Woof!

MeowMUN 01:15, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me!
the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!

Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:29, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

	NeedABrain is an atheist heathen and doesn't give a damn about Christmas
	By the way, he's ~~hipocrite~~ civilized enough to understand your primitive superstitions. So Merry Christmas, whatever you find about it.

Aw, you like monkeys too? Thanks for the help and MCHNY. -- herr doktor needsAbeam [scream!] 17:18, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Happy Birthday, ~~Jesus~~ Santa!
This holiday season, whether you're Protestant, Jewish, Catholic,
Muslim, Buddhist, Shintoist, agnostic, or atheist, DiZ wishes you a
Merry Christmas, so suck it up and drink your eggnog. And don't forget,
Santa's got snipers everywhere, and they're always loaded.
So be good, or else.

Merry Christ-Ritual Wintertime Sugar-fairy thingy you people do. --Señor DiZtheGreat CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 21:32, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

From me

Sir Tooltroll, Esq. CUN • Eh? • Oh! • UnTunes! •

• I

my cat! 11:52, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Vandal

Help me, sir! My userpage is under siege. -- herr doktor needsAbeam [scream!] 20:09, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Un-NRVer

This guy removed an ICU tag I've placed here. I don't think this is a case for ban patrol, but he needs a word with an admin, I guess. --herr doktor needsAbeam [scream!] 22:01, 15 December 2006 (UTC)

I've been blocked?

Hey Zim. I found that my IP address 195.93.21.97 is blocked by Codeine for 'cyber-harrassment', so I can no longer edit anything. I don't know how anybody came to think I am 'cyber-harrassing' them.

Anyway, because I am with AOL, my IP is shared among other AOL users. Perhaps it was somebody else. I have no idea. Could this be resolved?

--Danny Himself 13:07, 9 December 2006 (UTC)

Actually, nevermind, as this problem seems to have resolved itself. I'll tell you if the problem comes back.

--Danny Himself 15:42, 9 December 2006 (UTC)

Audio question...

Can you do a terrible Hitler impression (think Python's Holy Grail french knights, but german and not knights.)? I'm in the midst of an UnNews story that requires a Hitler that "pops". I don't know if it will ever see the light of day, as I'm not sure whether it's a mildly amusing mashup of modern Neocon and prewar Nazi "spin" or if it's simply a futile exercise in really bad taste that will never see the light of day. The work-in-progress is here (it's my sandbox, so other stuff may come and go). Think it over, no rush, with my "scheduled" UnNews if it gets finished it will either appear next Tuesday, or if I miss that deadline, sometime in January.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 03:41, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

...by your command

You asked me to remind you when it was done. Voila - UnNews:Chancellor committed to preemptive war. --Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 18:49, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

My hat is off to you, sir. Another fine job on providing audio for an article that wasn't written with audio in mind. And, if it makes you feel any, better, I felt dirty using that word that you avoided, but left it in as appropriate for the era (if anything, I'm sure it would have been a nice word compared to the various similes that they used). Next time I'll right something with soft words that play in nice, happy sentences to give your twisted tongue a rest.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 22:33, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

...but what was with the chimpanzee?--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 03:24, 9 December 2006 (UTC)

UnNews Audio Correspondent

Based on my recent contribution, am I a US correspondent, UK, or something else? (File:UnNews Britain climate change.mp3)

Thanks! » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 01:32, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

Did I do something wrong in my latest UnNews recording? Aside from being so blatantly racist in the article itself? My latest may be almost as bad. Now I'll have muslims and african-americans trying to kill me.

» Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 21:07, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

It was removed from the list of UnNews audio recording without it falling off the end of the list. I was trying to figure out what controls how they are removed, other than due to age. [3]

» Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 21:14, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

Magnificent

Zim, that was a masterful reading of "Legitimate Biblical archeologists discover raptor tracks in Jerusalem"; I'd like you to know I enjoyed it immensely. Have a ninjastar!

Original Ninjastar

I hereby award this ninjastar to "The Rev." for excellence in the field of reading articles about dinosaurs which also include Jesus. And for allowing me to call him "The Rev." which is a nickname for Zim ulator which I have just come up with, hurrah! –Jobot37

--Jobot37 23:00, 6 December 2006 (UTC)

Quick request

Hi, I'm a little boy with a smooth, creamy voice who also has a microphone. I'd like to start reading the news if that's alright. Is there some kind of process I need to follow or can I just jump right in? I think the whole UnNews Audio thing is just brilliant. love, gustav ^{talk at me}_nope 01:09, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

Cool, thanks. So like I just published my first newscast...does that mean I'm "in"? Should I add my name to the list thingy? love, gustav ^{talk at me}_nope 21:42, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

I went ahead and posted my first recording and I've started on my second. And yeah I IRC but not here as much as I do elsewhere. I'm not as recognised here yet so I'm not here as much. I can meet you down there...in the #unnews channel I suppose? Oh and I'm American if that's what you're asking. I guess you can put me down as being from "The Nega-Canadia". love, gustav ^{talk at me}_nope 21:58, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

And I use that Audacity shit you were talking about that I happen to have. (I've also been dabbling in recording DDR music on the side; until I can get a decent keyboard that works it's UnNews Audio for me) And I do write. That one article was mine, as well as the one you just listened to. love, gustav ^{talk at me}_nope 22:02, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

Shuweet. Also if it's of any note, I happen to be a former pirate cap'n if that applies to my title on the page thing. Either way thanks a lot for the help. love, gustav ^{talk at me}_nope 22:10, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

My location

I am from Oregon, the last bastion of sanity--Jobot37 21:47, 4 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks

For helping me out with the audio thing Jobot37 22:14, 3 December 2006 (UTC)

Hey Zimm! Long time no see. I was busy running my legs off in order to add to the landslide election victory my Dutch Socialist Party accomplished last wednesday. You know, party members to kick in the but, subtly threatening store owners if they don't hang up my poster, that kinda stuff. Anyroads, I wrote an Un-news article about the outcome of the election, but it is my very first (notice this: I admit to being a virgin - now does that make it genuine or what). Could you please assign someone to look it over and maybe spruce it up a bit ? Thanking you in advance, -- di Mario 18:24, 25 November 2006 (UTC) Oh by the way, the article is here: UnNews:Dutch Socialist Party wins election by a landslide

Thanks for the awesome audio on UnNews:EON Productions defends controversial casting of eleven year old girl as James Bond

I died laughing when you said "I don't understand what it means either." Great work. I was surprised you recorded it since my longer ones usually don't get recorded, so congratulations on doing one that took more work. --Hrodulf 01:07, 29 November 2006 (UTC)

Thankyou

Cheers for letting me into your cult, I will use the Jingle, thankyou. I'll continue to write UnNews articles. God bless you Zim. --—Braydie 00:21, 25 November 2006 (UTC)

Award for you

Seeing as you gave me a blessing, I'll give you an award

Its the "Hardeehar doesn't know how to make new templates," award.

For helping my otherwise crap UnNews article by adding audio that made it sound funnier, Thank you

Hardeehar 18:01, 21 November 2006 (UTC)

Unnews 2nd black hole piece

Hey rev, first an appology for not stating the obvious that you are the head HEAD chaplain, therefore placed five ranks ABOVE Isra (just make sure you unban me if he read this!) Just wanted to thank you for the audio and to tell you that you actually read a vandaled version....i.e: "BLACK SUNS FOUND IN THE PADDOCK" what the hell is a black sun anyway? It was supposed to be black hole, but some ostrich sodomizer changed it. Well, it's all good and dandy now. -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 09:11, 7 November 2006 (UTC)

God damn it Zim

Never, and I mean NEVER disappear like that again without leaving a note or something. I was thinking you were abducted by aliens!!! -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 18:00, 2 November 2006 (UTC)

Quick request

There's a link to an UnNews article I moved to a new title because the link wasn't posting right on another website (the :O in UnNews:Osama was being read as a smiley), but because your archive is protected, I can't fix the broken/double redirect. Can you unprotect your talk archive 1 so I can fix the link so it points to the proper page? Thanks, sorry for the inconvenience. --Hrodulf 19:19, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

UnNews:Bush announces bold new change in way Iraq strategy will be described in speeches and press releases

Just wanted to mention that your sound recording of the article was a lot funnier than the article was as just text. Not quite sure why, but it was. --Hrodulf 17:53, 25 October 2006 (UTC)

mp3 problem

Umm... I can't use mp3s at the moment because I don't have the plugin. I replied here. Sorry. -- 15:11, 25 October 2006 (UTC)

UnNews:"US not really arrogant or stupid" says State Department official of own free will

I think the picture is a bit too much and should be removed, if this indeed the real deal. -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 13:33, 24 October 2006 (UTC)

Well, I might be wrong, but this looks to me as an actual picture of an execution in Iraq. If so, that is a wee bit over the edge. -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo

GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 20:12, 24 October 2006 (UTC)

Alrighty, you're right about most stuff, (especially the part about the self violation! yum!) But since this is a recent-ish event and I think I actually know who this specific person is I just thought that if any family or friend see this, it would be over the line of humor and into the realm of tasteless. Usually, as you know, I'm all for wild humor.

Oh, and thank god for not being a yank, we don't have a constitution nor a first amendment and the so damn the freedom of speech I say! :) -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 08:14, 26 October 2006 (UTC)

Zimcast

From the craziness of IRC, ff used the word "zimcast" and it suddenly occured to me that it'd be kinda cool if we added a supplement to the podcast called the Weekly (or monthly, or never if you think this sucks) Zimcast where you are posed a few questions, and you attempt to address them with whatever style of advice takes your fancy (I'm thinking ranging from caustic cynicism to fluffy bunny talk, depending on who asked or some such attribute) so give me a buzz with your opinion. Also, hope you and seg have been well! Cheers! --Olipro Anchor KUN (Harass) 16:35, 21 October 2006 (UTC)

zimcast ideas

Religion angle.
Bat fuck insane angle

I'm trying

My audio output has slacked in the past few days because I've been trying to keep school on track and what not...oh yeah. Zim zala Bim!-- Sir Severian (Sprich mit mir!) 02:36, 19 October 2006 (UTC)

On UnNews:Fred Phelps:"God hates straights too"

When I wrote this piece, I was not aware that this nutty group was planning to stage a protest against acceptance of homosexuality at the funerals of the murdered Amish schoolchildren in PA.

If you havn't seen this, you have to watch this YouTube link. We couldn't make this material up if we were on crystal meth, and it's a gold mine:

Fox news, but the WBC member is so deranged even the Fox people are offended by her

I really don't know what to say about this (these people are so arrogant and self-rightous that they think the Amish are evil . . . crazy).

I don't want to flog a dead horse, but I think we should make fun of these spiritual lost souls some more. They deserve to be ridiculed for their truly backwards approach to religion and the whole "when bad things happen to good people" question. I don't think it should get to the chuck norris level, but I wouldn't mind having fun with a 'Fred Phelps:"God Hates _____"' sort of thing. I know it's been done, but I don't think we've done a lot of it. One idea I'm semi-seriously batting around in my head is "Fred Phelps:The Black Hole was a commercial failure because Disney enables Fags"

Ok, maybe not that one, but you get the idea.

As for the audio, thanks in advance for the work; I havn't been able to listen to it yet and am looking forward to doing so.

--Hrodulf 20:45, 18 October 2006 (UTC)

Listened, liked, enough said. --Hrodulf 20:27, 19 October 2006 (UTC)

Here's what I'm working on; we'll see if ends up being funny.

User:Hrodulf/WBC_takes_strong_stand_against_physics

Like I said, maybe we can trigger a mock Phelps thing and have some fun.

--Hrodulf 23:19, 19 October 2006 (UTC)

Before you ask

I am going to record that Saddam piece, but it'll take some more time, I'm buried in my other important work....if you start paying my rent I will consider working full time for you! -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 22:47, 17 October 2006 (UTC)

What the hell was that?

I listened to the UnNews bit of the military warlords and had a fit.....what was that all about rev. stim ulator?! -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 12:37, 11 October 2006 (UTC)

On doing a "hop"

I have done a "hop" before, and it was piss-easy. If you want it... Well, you'll have to wait a bit, I'm on the school network at the moment. --thematrixeætsyou, the ass kicker (talk) (flames) at 202.89.50.10 00:02, 11 October 2006 (UTC)

What "I would advise speeding up your talking in audio articles a bit" means

You seem to talk a little too slow in your articles, could you please talk a bit faster if you can? 20% faster? It's not a drama production, you don't have to talk slow. Heck, if you're stuck, you could just use the "Change Tempo" tool on Audacity.

Oh, and I DO have MP3 tools, I'll make note to use them. --thematrixeætsyou, the ass kicker (talk) (flames) 19:14, 10 October 2006 (UTC)

Hell, next you'd ask him to stop swearing! Leave the master to his work, he didn't get his EGADM twice for nothing...And thank you for suffering! -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo

GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 19:34, 10 October 2006 (UTC)

No, nothing about the swearing, he's fine for that. --thematrixeætsyou, the ass kicker (talk) (flames) at 202.89.50.10 00:02, 11 October 2006 (UTC)

Hey! Zim's style is perfect. To suggest otherwise would be like saying, I dunno, that a Stradivarius sounds like horsehair on catgut. Which is nothing like what Zim sounds like. -- Sir Armando Perentie

KUN FP 13:51, 24 October 2006 (UTC)

Great job on that "women are stupid" article

You did an awesome job recording that article. It was hilarious when you added in "this is rev. zimulator telling it like it is" lol, i roared my ass off. Keep up the good work man - Uncle J

Hello!

Greetings, Father Zimulator. RocketMaster 19:15, 17 November 2006 (UTC)

Keep up the good work

Your a credit to the force Hardeehar 08:02, 21 November 2006 (UTC)

ZimCasts: The Complete Seasons

Hi, zim! Just wanna say that an unNews is best read by you in your zimCasts. Is there a list, an EXHAUSTIVE list, of all unNews as read by you? I'd love to complete my collection of unNews. Great Job. Feureau 04:03, 1 December 2006 (UTC)

An artist's rendition of what Feureau thinks of her relationship with her dearest flame war vet esn

Dear Reverend, thank you for your blessings. I count them everyday. Lately, the mistress hasn't been so kind to me. Although the Flying Spaghetti Monster's noodly appendages touches me everyday. Anyway, I got my self stoked like you asked me to and I'm ~~seeing stars~~ feeling better now. I have executed my first flame war, and I hope esn sees me the way I see her now as depicted on the picture on the right. I hope I'm part of that growing number of fine folks who are ~~thrilled to fuck up articles~~ do a fine job of editing content now.

On that note, I'd like to say that I want to follow your path and create some "zimCasts" of my own. Do you have some pointers for the new unNews audio n00b?

Also, forgive me for I have sinned, father. I have read the unnews guide and seems I haven't been adding UnNews: before my news. But it seems the unNews: part was added automatically by the system? Because the news I wrote without the UnNews: tag seems to have UnNews: before the UnNews title. You know, the words that comes after UnNews: part.

Also, you haven't blessed me with info on the existence of the complete seasons sets of ZimCasts. Is it already available or is going to be made available in the near future? Or in the far future? Is there a category or a search string that could turn up your zimcasts? Thanks Feureau 05:15, 2 December 2006 (UTC)

Hi,Zim! Thanks for the wisdom of the casts. That's a LOT of references to go thru! Thanks for the dedication! Sorry it took a while to respond your talk, I had a lot of ~~evil deeds to do~~ training as a ~~missionary~~ mercenary at the militant wing of the salvation army's Final Solution Project for Future Flame Wars. And what a resource to zimulcast. I'll get down on it as soon as I get to shoot my first orangutan. (I have to graduate from sporks to forks then rubber knives and real knives. After that I'd have to work up to a derringer) Thanks a bunch thy holy reverend! Feureau 12:17, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the welcome

That's four UnNews articles I've made now, half got to the front page. I'll keep them coming. Good work with the audio, by the way.--Nydas 11:49, 12 December 2006 (UTC)

i took a dump and called it news

No really though, I made an UnNews article. It's my first one so it's not really news-like, for which I apologize. It's also not funny and just stupid, for which I also apologize. I swear I'm not trying to destroy your very credible news association, I just read it on MSN and figured it needed a spoof. So yeah, I'm glad we had this talk, I really feel closer to you! --Anyone 01:41, 13 December 2006 (UTC)

Thank You Sir!

For my 1st Ninjastar. It made me feel warm and fuzzy and slightly... moist. Nonetheless, it's important to be appreciated.--Super 90 01:41, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

UnNews

Hey man how are you going? Just want to say I enjoy your audio clips, especially the news from me :D. Also the last news, which is the Newscaster caught without underpants thing. Good job man! It's gne om I 09:07, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

You can mess with the Main Page, right?

I did an audio version of UnBooks:Pulp Novel, the case of the dashing dame and would love for it to be available on the main Page. Could you do that? Media:DashingDame.ogg--Super 90 04:17, 15 December 2006 (UTC)

You have me all wrong! I wasn't going to mess with the main page, I was going to have you mess with the main page. See how that works? ;-)

You just happen to be the only admin who knows I exist.--Super 90 21:09, 15 December 2006 (UTC)

Okay, what's the headline? I was thinking "Creator of 1st UnBooks audio receives Nobel Prize, Blowjobs" You likey?

The larger problem is, in order to be an effective UnNews reporter, I really am going to have to learn to to my own visuals, like, me receiving the Nobel prize, me getting a parade and me getting a hot gay blow job. Did I say "Gay?" I meant... Uh... "Penthouse Forum-Style". Yeah. That's it. Say, on a slightly related topic, do you where I can go get an in-depth tutorial in code? I really suck at it.--Super 90 21:32, 15 December 2006 (UTC)

hope you don't mind

I fixed up the Bill Gates article and took your NRV off. The concept was weak but I did what I could. Hopefuly you think it's good enough to stay on UnNews. --Super 90 21:37, 16 December 2006 (UTC)

Well, thanks for the compliment, but that article is still pretty weak. I mean, "Bill Gates buys gum"? Yikes!--Super 90 03:00, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Merry Christmas

Hindleyite was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and
realised they had ~~purposefully~~ forgotten about you.
This user doesn't care about Multi-culturalism,
and DEMANDS you have a Merry Christmas... NOW!

Merry Commercial Conformity Period, Zim :) -- Hindleyite Converse • ?pedia 18:18, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Aw...

I was in the middle of doing the audio for the anglican church bit. Well, no worries. I'll do the pot story instead:-)--Super 90 19:31, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Re: Weed: Let's just say some articles are easier to write than others, shall we?

Super90 wishes you to have
A Merry Anti-Christ Mass!!
t=A Merry Anti-Christ Mass! (cOz)!

NOW I'm going to bitch

How is it these absolutely crap articles are showing up on the main page and good ones go neglected? Not just mine, but all the good articles. Did you read UnNews:U.S. sanctioned by IAEA? It was not the least bit funny. Not at all. Not whatsoever. Confidentially, I find this a little irritating.--Super 90 05:40, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

I don't think you're being a dick at all. In fact, you've been nothing but an utter gentleman to me. The fact is, I've found Uncyclopedia 4 weeks ago and thus should be considered a complete noob and probably should not be given any power whatsoever. I haven't earned it. I was just bitching because it seems to me that UnNews articles featured on the main page should be the best Uncyclopedia has to offer and quite often they are the worst. I just don't understand it, that's all.--Super 90 21:33, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

If I have been insulting or an asshole at all, I sincerely apologize. I think you're awesome and meant no disrespect. I was speaking exclusively of the Main Page, not the UnNews page, which does a much better job of selecting quality articles. Well, except today. That IAEA article still sux.;-)--Super 90 22:04, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, I got here just as the whole drama thing was ending and thankfully missed it all. Obviously it was quite a hurricane. But as that Kissinger quote goes: "The politics were so vicious precisely because the stakes were so small."

Huff it

if it sucks or goes too far, I give you complete permission to huff it. As it happens, it's kind of a true story. I was hanging out with this chick at her house and my nose started bleeding because in her bathroom the cat box was so full of ammonia that it literally dried out my sinuses. Then her cat started farting the most unbelievable farts, I mean, seriously god awful. There is no way to convey the level of the stink, you really had to be there. I had to leave. So I guess I'm too close to it to change it and I get that it's gross. You really do have my permission. --Super 90 02:00, 22 December 2006 (UTC) ps Anyway, I's putting up a good one in a minute.

Thanks and CHRISTMAS!!!!

Thanks for your card, I shall treasure it ~~all week~~ always. In return, I give you the pinnacle of Internetial Achievement, the crown of the Interweb, what the Internet was invented for.... a tacky animated gif.

Best wishes -- sannse (talk) 12:29, 22 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks.

Wait. Did my UnNews article suck? (It was actually my second; I wrote my first on the hulabaloo leading up to Michigan-Ohio State). I know it doesn't have any pics, but that's because a. I can't photoshop and b. I couldn't find any pics that would fit the situation.

I actually plan to start my own series of UnNews sports related articles. I may want to put them under UnSports or ESPUN or something like that. Is that okay with you? Crazyswordsma n...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 21:51, 22 December 2006 (UTC)

Merry Christmas!

SonicChao was throwing away last year's Christmas cards,
and realised they had ~~purposefully~~ forgotten about you.

SonicChao era poner en bote de basura de las tarjetas de Navidad del año pasado,
y realizado se habían olvidado sobre tú.

:D --

SonicChao ^Babbel!_Contribs 14:35, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Merry Kaizum Me!

Dear Lord and Master Reverend Zim, Merry Kaizum Me back to you, sir! Feureau 04:46, 25 December 2006 (UTC)

Ask..

I was recently wondering if there was room for another 'Ask..' column in UnNews. This is just an idea at the moment, but perhaps I will pursue it in the future. How would one go about creating such special pages? --Danny Himself 18:36, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

Hawking suit

I zapped the picture because it was copied directly from the recent Onion article, and the text is riffing on their joke but is way too close in my highly subjective opinion. The text riffing can live with improvement IMO, but the picture was their own Potatochop and lifting stuff directly from another fake news site is worse than copyvio ... it's just ungraceful. I left a hopefully not too patronising note on the author's talk.

I dunno, I may be wrong. I suppose I should write another article to put newspaper.jpg on - David Gerard 00:18, 9 January 2007 (UTC)

Please continue to remove or flag for removal any material indicative of unamerican activities

You've done a bit, but there's too much in Uncyclopedia that is contributing to a crisis in confidence in Americanism. As we all know, Americanism is the way, the light, and the truth. Uncyclopedia needs to become more "No way!" in order to complement total americanism. Get off your backside lad and keep those "No Redeeming Value" tags flowing, especially when someone gets under your skin. You have the power. Go on - nuke them! That's the way. 194.203.201.92 14:32, 10 January 2007 (UTC)

Well, I dared...

... but I ultimately changed "Vatican" to "Bill O'Reilly", because I don't mean to offend Catholics per se (Here is it now.) The strange thing is that this gives him a much plainer but less casual tone than we actually associate with him, since most of his dialogue was originally mean to have been "translated" from Italian or German or whatever the Pope is supposed to speak usually. Let me know if there's actually some "requirement" to do an audio equivalent as well, as I would forsee that as problematic for, um, many reasons. (Oh, and thanks for delteing it in the first place and all that.) --Lenoxus 21:57, 12 January 2007 (UTC)

You're right, there originally was no article. But then I wrote it. But then I changed it before saving it. (so I therefore wrote the disclaimer thing explainign the nature of the quotes.) I hope some of that makes a little sense (assuming you're not high now). And if you do an audio, I would be way flattered, so long as it (or at least one take) is done relatively sober. (Still, it'd be kinda hilarious the other way the more I think about it, so long as you don't crack up in the middle from the weed, which tends to ruin the joke for those of us who aren't "with you" at the time..)--Lenoxus 00:44, 15 January 2007 (UTC)

arabic uncyclopedia

I have started the arabic version but i need help , I need to know how to organize the options on the right of the page like main page, unnews, help etc...and I wonder if I can be an admin there?Classic 971 23:36, 15 January 2007 (UTC)

Since you have no user page, I'll assume you'll take your answer here. First, I'm not the best person to ask about starting a new version of Uncyc. I will say, though, that I'd be very pleased to share the pain of Uncyclopathy with my Arabic-speaking bretheren and sisteren (if that's a word). Still, I don't know much of anything beyond my narrow little space in UnNews. You could try the Village Dump or #uncyclopedia on Internet Relay Chat; there you'll find people with useful information who can steer you in the right direction. As for becoming an admin here, I'm afraid you'll have to ~~bribe other admins~~ earn the dubious privilege by becoming a user, doing stuff that's helpful, not being a dick, and certain other things, I won't get into just now. Don't get into a mindset of setting a goal of becoming an admin, though... that might get you into some trouble. IRC is a great place to meet folks and get a feel for what they're like, so you can learn to ~~suck up to~~ get along with them and accomplish your goal of an Arabic Uncyclopedia. Oh, dear... I imagine some Arabic speaking countries may fine us a bit subversive...

Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 20:34, 16 January 2007 (UTC)

Sorry Sir Zim

Hey man, I didn't mean to fuck with your template - I wanted it off my discussion page. However, when I hit "edit" above it, it takes me to your template page (???).

I hit back on the browser to re-enter it, but it got all fucked up. You've welcomed me to UnNews several times, now.

Sorry man, --Videshi 00:06, 19 January 2007 (UTC)

PS: Maybe you could explain to me how that happened? =/

Well, yeah, I have an excuse. I teach kindergarten kids. We had "Looney Tunes" class, which makes them go batshit insane for the rest of the day. How's that for an excuse, lol? =)

Here's to being responsible for little kids; *takes a drink of whiskey* --Videshi 03:40, 19 January 2007 (UTC)

Whining

I used the noise cleaning feature in audacity so you couldn't hear the whine of my computer in the background, although it appears to have bollocksed up my voice a bit in the process :P --Olipro Anchor KUN (Harass) 15:17, 8 February 2007 (UTC)

ICU

Recently an important decision was made by some admins regarding this template without consulting any Uncyclopedians. I'd like to get the opinion of a few other people. Please see here. Quadzilla99 03:06, 10 February 2007 (UTC)

I'd like to join the UnNews Audio team

Unless you haven't heard by now, I have recorded several audio segments for mainspace articles, most notably Uncyclopedia is the worst and Fundagelical Christianity. With this, I thought that I might give it my best shot with UnNews Audio. Will you accept me? --General Insineratehymn 00:56, 22 February 2007 (UTC)