User talk:Gustavo Chapman 3rd of Normandy

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Can you increase the volume for "Cracker Jack" recording?

Thanks for digitizing an audio file of my "Cracker Jack updates 'surprises'" Unnews article. I was excited to see it available in the audio format. Unfortunately, although I adjusted my computer's volume control and the one on the MP3 player, I could barely hear the audio. Is there any way that you could boost the file's volume? That would be great. Thanks Weebils 03:22, 6 December 2006 (UTC) Weebils

Re: In The Groove

Thank you very much for the help w/ bringing my conspiracy theory in the In The Groove article up to Uncyclopedia standards. Make sure to read the article's talk page and Pee Review when you get a chance. Pentium5dot1 23:03, 29 October 2006 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews

the important stuff about UnNews articles

Welcome to UnNews, and thank you for contributing some crap expressing an interest in becoming an UnNews audiocaster... or something. For a very quick introduction to the ins and outs, please take 30 seconds to read Help:How to write an UnNews article. Please note that proper formatting of an articles title has only the first word (after UnNews:) and proper nouns capitalized. The second offense of this cardinal rule gets your ass banned. Heh, just kidding... maybe.

Also, a perusal of HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article may help you sink to the average level of UnNews mediocrity, and go on to fame, fortune, and celebrity. Cheers!

Prototype: how to do an unnews audio

Note: this crap is a work in progress

As for doing the UnNews Audio Perpendicular Mambo, first you'll need software to record sound files on your computer. I currently use Cakewalk Sonar, but many other applications such as the freeware Audacity, or other commercial applications like Steinberg's Cubase and Pro Tools Digital Audio Workstation will be great.

Having that in place, there ar UnNews jingle files you can download, and add to your files here:

• http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:UnNews_Jingle_British.mp3
• http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:UnNews_Jingle_American.MP3

You'll need to upload your final audio file in mp3 format.

Once uploaded, you'll need to tag the article you've read like this

{{UnNewsAudio|Your_soundfile_name.mp3}}.

Next, go to this page http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Template:FrontPageMediaMenuBeta, add your file with pointer and file size arranged like this:

Your_soundfile_name.mp3|article_title|<file size>KB|

The file size information can be found on the info page of the audio which you've uploaded.

The procedure for setting up your file for podcast is a secret freemason thingy which Olipro and I currently manage. I'm around almost daily, so I look for new audio files to delete fix, or whatever. If you get hung up with any of these steps, let me know, or alternately check out #unnews and #uncyclopedia on IRC.

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:40, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

Why don't you let us hear a couple of your audios before I add you to the Team officially? A couple of questions: Where are you from (alternately, where would you like to say you're from), will you be writing? Do you IRC? I can meet you there now if you're still around. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:50, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

Update: I've just listened to your first. Nice job, but I noticed a choppy quality to the audio. what software are you using? I'm not really expert in audio, but I'm gathering little facts to create a database of advice for the insane... no, that's not it... anyway... cheers, and well done! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:56, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

Bad timeing, I have to medicate my dog which will take a while, but I'll add you as a American correspondent, writer. As for IRC, I haven't been hanging there in the last couple of months, but... I forgot what I was thinking... oh... never mind... anyweh, nice work and welcome aboard, matey! Argh! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 22:08, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

>offer gold

L has awarded you a Pot of Gold! For finding the end of the rainbow.

Thanks

Braydie has awarded you some sweets! For voting for HowTo:Cheat At Scrabble

--—Braydie 17:05, 13 December 2006 (UTC)

xMAS

zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me! the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!

Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:04, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Christmas

Merry Christmas. ~ Mitch

-- Mitch 10:39, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Hoser

I'd say this is worth two UnNews audios... Thanks! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:07, 9 February 2007 (UTC)

	YOU'VE BEEN HOZED!!! Listen to your doom!
	Rev_zim has performed a Hozing on your soul; apparently you've done wrong in the eyes of doG. Take off, eh?!.

Asplode!!

	Gneomi has awarded you some hot stuff to jihad your own ride!
	For voting on Jihad My Ride.
	"Never forget: Jihad is not all about war. It is about creating cool stuff and making cars look better. Yo jihad yo!!"

Meh

Atomic Disturbance has awarded this person a RANDOM SUBATOMIC PARTICLE. Mainly because he gets them for free.

Thanks for doing the Audio. Also, it's pronounced "tir - blaun - shh" . Also, Nobody Cares. -- 21:44, 12 February 2007 (UTC)

THE LEAGUE OF BENSON

BENSON HAS DECIDED TO EXTEND TO YOU AN INVITATION TO JOIN THE LEAGUE OF BENSON AND ATTEND THE BENSON BOX SOCIAL.

TO: GUSTAV

FROM: BENSON

TIME: ONE FORTNIGHT FROM TOMORROW AFTERNOON

PLACE: BENSON'S 3D HOUSE OF PANCAKES

DRESS: FORMAL

YOU MAY ALSO BRING ONE GUEST IF YOU RSVP TO BENSON BY 8:00 PM TODAY.

LOVE,

   Benson 01:00, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

You're going for quantity... I respect that

It encourages me to know you understand the funcamental principle of UnNews audios... quantity also a quality. Nice comments, unprofessional, it has all the earmarks of UnNews and mayo on toast. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:49, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

Cool voice on UnNews:"Your opinion matters, tell it to the hand" says UK Government, and extra points for barely-intelligibilityness. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:51, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

Hah, thanks. I'm feeling a little sick so I decided to spin up the ol' GustavBot to do my news for me. Hope I don't get replaced though... --love, gustav ^{talk at me}_nope 17:54, 13 February 2007 (UTC)

LORD FLUFFY

Greetings, Gustav. I am happy for you. How goes it? By the way, I enjoy conversing with you, so:

LORD FLUFFY, WHO RAINS FIRE FROM THE HEAVENS, HATH GIVEN THEE THE GIFT OF PIE.

I appreciate your cliched peace pie and raise your bet by my own wishes of wellbeing. Thanks Flufs! --love, gustav ^{talk at me}_nope 23:32, 14 February 2007 (UTC)

UnNews:GM Robot to enter cognitive therapy

I just wanted to say that I love your changes to this article (didn't read it until today). You have a great humor style of starting up completely unexpected jokes, leaving them, then hitting them again, without deviating too far from the main premise of the article. I especially loved the the "shindig" commentary (especially how you came back to it right after the "dealing with loonies" line), the "strength to endure" commentary, the repeated questioning as to whether the suicidal girl was Asian, etc.

Keep up the good work! -- Rei 22:50, 16 February 2007 (UTC)

Thanks...nice to know SOMEONE appreciates me =) --love, gustav ^{talk at me}_nope 23:17, 16 February 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for the recording!

I'm gonna start recording articles/UnNews in a couple days once I rig up my microphone. Thanks for grabbing UnNews:UN announces new radiation symbol! Contestant CUN -- VFH NotM Buzz Ctrbs 02:50, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

Cool, thanks. That was probably one of my better ones...other than UnNews:"Your opinion matters, tell it to the hand" says UK Government of course. --love, gustav ^{talk at me}_nope 02:53, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

I'm starting to think you're trying to woo me :D

Thanks for nominating HowTo:Start a Religion for Featured status! I'm honored that someone, somewhere thinks I'm good at something... Contestant CUN -- VFH NotM Buzz Ctrbs 03:32, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

I didn't even know you wrote it until after the nom. I just thought it was fucking hilarious. --love, gustav ^{talk at me}_nope 03:33, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

Competition!

You compete with me, the great zim, for shitty background noises in your recordings?!? You've got balls! Nice work dude. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:06, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

Some times, I'll run the microwave while I do 'em. One recording (can't remember which one), I did the dishes while I recorded it. You can hear the water running, and the clanging of pots. --love, gustav ^{talk at me}_nope 16:30, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

HowTo:Pronounce §ǚρωξλ£μĦΦφ≈€ƏξßÐÆØΞ

I hadn't really been paying much attention in Uncyclopedia recently, but I saw your HowTo in the Village Dump post about my name change and cracked up. Not only is it extremely flattering that someone wrote an article about my crazy (former) name, it's also very funny and well-written. You deserve a little something as a sign of my approval:

§ǚρωξλ£μĦΦφ≈€ƏξßÐÆØΞ Squiggle has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

-- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 00:32, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

Hah, cool. Thanks. --love, gustav ^{talk at me}_nope 02:40, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

UnNews Audio complaint/question/something-or-another

Gustav, you might want to read through Forum:UnNews Audio, no edits allowed?. It concerns a reversion you made to this UnNews of what looked like a complete rewrite. —Major Sir Hinoa prepare for trouble • make it double? 16:53, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

It was completely different when i recorded it...when someone rewrites an article after I record it they can like request a re-record but that's all. I didn't rewrtie it if that's what you're asking. --love, gustav ^{talk at me}_nope 20:48, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

I know you didn't rewrite it. I said that you reverted it. I think. —Major Sir Hinoa prepare for trouble • make it double? 20:50, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

Oh, okay. Yes I did, but only because I try to keep the audio in place rather than revert it. Usually I ix-nay any IP edits too, but in this case since there seems to be a desire to keep the other version I'll re-record if you guys want me to. --love, gustav ^{talk at me}_nope 21:02, 20 February 2007 (UTC)

Open Your Inventory

	FoxyBabe has awarded you with a Key Item!
	For voting on HowTo:Live in an RPG.
	"I found it inside a weird chest placed mysteriously in Lava Mountain. Still haven't figured out what it does, so keep it in your inventory, it may come in handy to eliminate a dancing mushroom."

DAME :: FoxyBabe :: TALK 13:32, 23 February 2007 (UTC)

Thank you

So nice to support me on Bensons page. Thank you. It's always good to see bystanders at an accident kicking the corpses. Is that what you do for a living? D.G.Neree 23:24, 28 February 2007 (UTC)

Then I assume kissing asses is your other hobby? D.G.Neree 14:53, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

REWARD!

Congratulations!

I award you with this Dutch medal for your bravery and your hilariously funny attribution to the discussion on the Dick Sonson page. Congratulations and please note that I will nominate you for a statue on the main square of Beneenhufter. You are a jewel for Uncyclopedia! D.G.Neree 15:09, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

Beneenhufter

Mr. D.G.Neree made me aware of your irritating memo regarding his leave to Sonson. I think that you are a slimeball and a hufter and therefor added you to my Beneenhufter-list. Ain't it good feeling ? Byebye. Ikke 16:08, 1 March 2007 (UTC)

?

I've read the greater part of Sonson's contributions and the corners of my mouth moved only twice. Will you explain to me what's so funny about Sonson ? Tnx. Ikke 23:10, 6 March 2007 (UTC)

leaving?

Listen man, if your leaving because of me, don't! I was and am pissed off with this benson... guy(?) and just reacted to your comment on his discussion page. 2 guys from the dutch site came to help me. They don't have very much to do with uncyclopedia as they (& I) are writing over there. So why don't you just tell me to go to hell and you just keep on writing here?

PS if this hasn't to do with me, then I suggest you just tell everybody to go to hell & you keep on writing here. D.G.Neree 21:43, 31 March 2007 (UTC)

But to tell you the truth: I'm a little sick of this place too. D.G.Neree 22:20, 31 March 2007 (UTC)