Foolitzer Prize Winner January 2012
||This user is Canadian|
...and actually admits to it!
||This user is a reporter for UnNews because they couldn't get a job at a real newspaper.
- Age: Old enough to know better than to answer a question like this
- Race: Human
- Sex: Yes Please
- Sexual Orientation: I like chicks
- Religion: I'll believe it when I see it
- Nationality: Terran
- Species: Hetero sapiens
- Political Affliation: Anyone who does not belong to the Republican Party of the United States or the
Liberal Party of Canada Conservative Party of Canada (they are even worse), two of the most corrupt regimes in the (supposed) free world.
- Favourite TV Show: Trailer Park Boys
Quotes from Uncle J
- Old enough to drive old enough to be driven (An argument for raising the age of consent to 16 rather than 14)
- Old enough to get paid, old enough to get laid (Another argument for making the age of consent 16 because you need to be 16 to work in most provinces)
- Straight until proven gay (a play on innocent until proven guilty)
- Are you staying at the Rico Suave (Rocco Forte)
- We've been in Queer all night (cue)
- I want a fucking Cyrus radio (Sirius)
- I don't like staying at the Paris Hilton, its too small and there isn't enough ball room
- Anal sex is shitty
- He's a biped (short form for bisexual pedophile, a play on words because biped also means two legged animal)
Articles I didn't write but found funny
Articles Co-Written with the Sturgdawg
Cape Breton News
In other news....
- UnNews:Man feeds son to goannas
- UnNews:Woman charged with using boyfriend as a weapon
- UnNews:Women are stupid, says study
- UnNews:Bush vows revenge on Mother Nature after terrorist attack
- UnNews:Pupils not allowed to breathe
- UnNews:Canadian troops defeat 10 foot plants after 10 day battle
- UnNews:Egyptian girl gets prison sentence for enslaving couple when she was 10
- UnNews:Military allows fat slobs to become soldiers
- UnNews:All political parties agree to be soft on crime
- UnNews:Cardinals beat Tigers in 5 games to win World Series
- UnNews:Missouri opens first day-care for troubled adults
- UnNews:Supermodel Heidi Klum gives birth to seal's son
- UnNews:Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell publically profess love for one another, plan to marry
- UnNews:Arctic ice shelf splits after attack by Liberal hippies
- UnNews:Pat Robertson planning terrorist attack under the direction of Satan
- UnNews:Barack Obama calls for Socialist Revolution in America
- UnNews:SMU welcomes Bush library
- UnNews:YouTube ordered to remove 100,000 videos
- UnNews:Kansas allows Evolution to be taught after scientist provides compelling evidence
- UnNews:Spears surprises fans and media with new bald look
- UnNews:Toxic gas latest insurgent weapon
- UnNews:Long Island teacher to be burned at the stake for being a witch
- UnNews:Bush goes on six day tour of Latin America
- UnNews:Cat-Dog hybrid discovered in China, scientists baffled
- UnNews:"We've got motherfuckin' snakes" says airport official
- UnNews:America moves to execute porn stars
- UnNews:U.K. schoolgirl loses ‘virginity’ court battle; Lydia Playfoot says she should be exempt from school ban on virgins
- UnNews:Tacoma tries rap music to chase Jehovah's Witnesses from bus stops
- UnNews:Woman banned from Nova Scotia bar for being too fat
- UnNews:Irishman bites head off of girlfriend during a fight
- UnNews:Ugly women are unwanted, study says
- UnNews:Against all odds Conservapedia celebrates its first birthday
- UnNews:Former Science Director burnt at stake for believing in Evolution
- UnNews:International Olympic Committee strips former female American Olympic athlete of medals, dignity, .... and clothing?!
- UnNews:West could have place in Afghan politics: Taliban
- UnNews:Woman who used boyfriend as weapon against infant receives absolute discharge
- UnNews:Creationist who stabbed and killed evolutionist given community service, probation
- UnNews:Man arrested again for indecent calls about ass
- UnNews:Bush introduces revolutionary legislation to Congress
- UnNews:Disgruntled teen goes on rampage, destroys city
- UnNews:Ontario man unable to find girlfriend, builds one instead
- UnNews:"America is Mine" declares Bush
- UnNews:Liberal-NDP coalition is dead, Michael Ignatieff joins Tories
- UnNews:Rihanna blames drugs for brutal assault on Chris Brown, says she's going to rehab
- UnNews:New Nova Scotia Premier Dexter Vows to Clean up Crime
- UnNews:Conservative member quits Nova Scotia legislature in wake of spending scandal
- UnNews:Leafs re-sign defenceman Bill Barilko in hopes of making playoffs
- UnNews:Philadelphia school being sued by students and parents after being caught spying with webcams
- UnNews:Georgian Luger Killed During Training Run Comes Back to Win Gold
- UnNews:Orca Makes Court Appearence to Answer a Host of Charges After Trainer Killed
- UnNews:United States Launches Massive Assault on Chile
- UnNews:Resurrected President Tassos Papadopoulous Located in Graveyard Attempting to Revive Corpses of Political Allies
- UnNews:NASCAR Puts Carl Edwards on Probation for Causing Crash that Killed Fellow Driver
- UnNews:Obama signs bill allowing organs to be sold on credit, repossessed if payments not made
- UnNews:Nova Scotia government places bounty on teenagers
- UnNews:Canada on edge of abyss: Prime Minister
- UnNews:Health Canada issues a warning regarding hot women after new study released
- UnNews:US Military Launches Weatherbomb in Hopes of Quelling Mass Protests
- UnNews:Zozo residents take to the streets of Jidoor, occupy the auction house
- UnNews:Mitt Romney drove to Canada with his child on the roof
- UnNews:North America's Uprising Becomes an Insurgency
- UnNews:Kim Jong-il covertly assassinated by the United States government, Assad may be next
- UnNews:Trailer Park Supervisor Guilty in Child Porn Case not a Pedophile: Psychiatrist
- UnNews:5-year-old boy that shot sister faces charges
- UnNews:Santa Claus shot down and killed over North Korea
- UnNews:Group of displaced Ghouls occupy Tenpenny Tower
- UnNews:Successor to Santa Claus chosen
- UnNews:P. K. Subban receives three game suspension for killing teammate Tomas Plekanec
- UnNews:Stephen Harper abolishes Canada Health Act, immediately privatizes healthcare
- UnNews:Inspired by the television show "Breaking Bad", thousands of Americans turn to cooking meth to pay bills
- UnNews:Barack Obama proposes legalizing prostitution, pot in effort to balance budget, avoid tax increases
- UnNews:In the wake of the Robo-call scandal, Stephen Harper abolishes elections
- UnNews:Iraqi government gunmen kill a dozen people in Basra, say activists
- UnNews:In the wake of Pearson Airport Massacre, Harper abolishes unions
News Articles I didn't write but found funny
||Gneomi has awarded you some hot stuff to jihad your own ride!
|For voting on Jihad My Ride.
|"Never forget: Jihad is not all about war. It is about creating cool stuff and making cars look better. Yo jihad yo!!"
||FoxyBabe has awarded you with a Key Item!
|For voting on HowTo:Live in an RPG.
|"I found it inside a weird chest placed mysteriously in Lava Mountain. Still haven't figured out what it does, so keep it in your inventory, it may come in handy to eliminate a dancing mushroom."
||Atomic Disturbance has awarded this person a |
RANDOM SUBATOMIC PARTICLE.
Mainly because he gets them for free.
||LET US BOW OUR HEADS IN SHAME|
The society for the commemoration of Porchesia would like to thank thee
for helping us to remember, if only for a moment, the follies of the human race.
Thank you for remembering
||Atomic Disturbance would like to thank you for voting for
UnNews:Boy subjected to harsh criticism, cries like little girl.
The Power Is Yours!
Awards I've Created
Featured News Articles
Articles By Other People That I've Nominated and Became Featured
Playstation 2 Games
Final Fantasy Hockey
Images I Didn't Create But Found Funny