UnNews:Muqtada al-Sadr Wins "Iraqi Idol"
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
25 May 2007
Baghdad, Iraq – After Ayman al-Zawahiri finished his electrifying rendition of “If I Could Turn Back Time”, nobody thought his opponent could win. They may have been dressed in the thickest Hijabs this side of Mecca, but the women in the audience made their support of Al-Sadr loud and clear. And by the end of the night, Muqtada al-Sadr was crowned the new “Iraqi Idol”.
“Oh I’m… I’m just so overwhelmed,” sobbed a visibly emotional al-Sadr. “When you’re a shy, sensitive boy, growing up in the ghetto, you never dream these days will come. I DID IT MAMA!! I DID IT!!!”
Al-Zawahiri looked shattered after a rollercoaster of emotions, “After al-Zaraqawi was knocked out, I thought… I thought it was just within reach, you know. But I just have to accepted it, the better man won.”
Al-Sadr will now go on to record a his first album which will be released just before Christmas. Asked what his musical influences were al-Sadr responded:
“I-just-looovvvve George Michael. Oh-My-God, he is just soooo amazing! I was like the biggest ‘Wham!’ fan in the 80’s. Whenever all my other friends were studying radical fundamentalist Islam, I was just in my room singing along ‘Wake me up before you Go-Go’. Those were the days…”
Sources[edit | edit source]
- - "The Bitch is Back" Time, May 25, 2007