School of the Americas

Promotional poster for a charity baseball game to raise money for the School of the Americas

School of the Americas is a liberal university located in Fort Benning, Georgia that teaches all the world citizens about human rights, social justice, the rule of law, democracy, and civil liberties. Many graduates of the School of the Americas have went on to become Heads of State. It was originally located in Panama Canal Zone but when America generously gave the land to Panama the school was relocated to Fort Benning Georgia. Politicians have praised this school for producing some of the world's finest human beings dedicated to peace and social justice. Despite its huge popularity some Members of Congress and the Senate oppose the school, claiming that helping the poor and oppressed is Anti-American. These people are extremist Communists and no one takes them seriously. One of these left wing socialists, a liberal Catholic priest, was locked up for 18 months in prison for having the audacity to question the United States military. It is only because of the compassion of the United States that he didn't spend more time in prison. Some left wing extremists (Democrats) in Congress have attempted to have this school shut down but fortunately there were enough real Americans (Republicans) to vote in favour of keeping the school.

Curriculum

Students at the school of the Americas are taught a wide variety of courses from human rights and democracy to peace studies and environmental protection. A small section of the curriculum does deal with military tactics but they are in accordence with the Geneva Convention and other international human rights legislation. Military curriculum deals with issues such as humane prisoner treatment and interrogation techniques as well as respect for civilian authority. The curriculum also includes courses in robotics, zombies, and plastic surgery. Hairstyling is also offered for the most fashionable students. Oprah and Michelle Obama lecture on the best fashions and hairstyles for everyone in all of the Americas. According to President Obama, everyone should be the same (but not equal added Obama smiling) and only with Obamafication can the Western hemisphere go forward.

Anti-Obamafication

The School of the Americas is against anti-Obamafication. They teach methods of harming anti-Obamafication movements.

What they don't teach you at School of the Americas

Don't steal. The government hates competition.

Alumni

One graduate of the school, Idi Amin, went on to become King of Scotland.

• Idi Amin
• François Duvalier
• Jean-Claude Duvalier
• Saddam Hussein
• Kim Jong Il
• Osama bin Laden
• Robert Mugabe
• Augusto Pinochet
• Pol Pot
• Anastasio Somoza
• Kim Il-sung
• Rafael Trujillo

See Also

• I Can't Believe It's Not Terrorism
• Neoliberalism
• Latin America
• United States of Tyranny and Dictators