UnNews:Doctors warn of the dangers of excessively "playing with your Wii"

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

30 November 2006

This is what can happen if you "play with your Wii" too much.

GENEVA, Switzerland -- Doctors at the World Health Organisation today issued a Health Advisory outlining the possible health risks associated with excessively "playing with your Wii".

Although there is no conclusive evidence that "playing with your Wii" is harmful, in and of itself, several potentially serious conditions may occur if you "play with your Wii" too much, including muscle cramps, calluses, and in some extreme cases, even blindness and public ridicule.

In addition, there is also the danger that if you "play with with your Wii" too vigorously, you might break it.

The WHO suggests the following safety tips, in order to avoid Wii-related injuries:

• Always "play with your Wii" in private. There is nothing more embarrassing that having your parents walk in on you, while you're "playing with your Wii".
• Make sure you're in a comfortable position. Half of all Wii-related injuries are the result of "playing with your Wii" in an awkward or uncomfortable position.
• Take frequent breaks. "Playing with your Wii" can be a lot of fun, but you shouldn't overdo it.
• Be gentle with your Wii. Sure, it can take a lot, but it's more sensitive than it looks.
• Show the cat your unit. Say, "Wiiiiii. No bite kitteh. No bite."
• Switch hands. Many problems can be avoided by not always using the same hand. Sometimes you can even use both hands.
• Don't brag about your Wii. Nobody wants to hear you bragging about how great your Wii is... especially if you really do use both hands.
• Never "play with someone else's Wii" without asking first.
• Don't take out your Wii in front of other people. If someone offers you their Wii, walk away.
• Playing with your Wii can be a lot of fun, but don't be public about how long you use your Wii
• Ii always let Liis, Kiira, Tiina, or Sandii play with my Wii. These giirls always briing the game to an exciiting cliimax.

Sources

• "Giving your Wii a workout" The Wall Street Journal, 25 November, 2006
• "Get a grip!" YouTube, 25 November, 2006