The TermiNADER
The TermiNADER is a documentary about the actions that took place when a recently cyborg constructed Ralph Nader decided to run for presidency. Ralph Nader would introduce his TNFP (Take No Fuckin' Prisoners) theory that would eventually leave a philosophical impact on caliber with that of the philosophies of Jarkko Ruttu and Dion Phaneuf. He is undoubtedly the greatest president cyborg to ever exist. He started a trend of cyborg presidents that introduced the likes of 'Mash Em Bash Em' Earl Brimstone and Jake 'The American Dragon' Long
Good ol' Ralph is frequently questioned about his controversial policies, but instead of getting upset and listening to the polls, he remembers the fact that he has laser cannons for arms and is unaffected.
Ralph Nader and the Controversial Thunder Gun[edit | edit source]
The most controversial of Ralph Nader's presidency is his tripling of gas prices. He is a cyborg, he needs fuel to function, and they inevitably go hand-in-hand. He is generally excused from the problems he caused because they A. are understanding of his inner mechanical workings and B. Need to cut him some slack considering he used gravity penetrating infrared vision to slaughter Osama Bin Laden and the Al Queada. Gas prices are one sacrifice that mortals will have to make in order to continue in their prosperous, cyborg equipped lifestyle.
Homeland Security[edit | edit source]
Ralph doesn't necessarily understand the fact that robots are not openly available to the public. He once stated during a heated debate, "I believe that homeland security isn't even a problem in today's society, I mean come one, if one was honestly worried about their security, why don't they just yank a robot from out they butts?" Ralph Nader subsequently won the debate with a 100 percent vote. Breaking and Entering is also now at an all time high. But, robots.
Inner City School System[edit | edit source]
Ralph Nader was once asked during an interview-"What is your stand on inner-city schools?" The following conversation pursued:
Political Jerkface: What is your stand on inner-city schools?
TermiNADER: On wh...what?
Political Jerkface: You know, schools located within our impoverished section of large cities where children are denied a fair education because of where they were born?"
TermiNADER: Black people, huh?
Political Jerkface: Well, whites are known to attend these schools as well...what are you trying to get at?
TermiNADER: Nothing...it's just that me, you know, as a robot...well I feed on black people, and I thought you humans did as well?
Political Jerkface: You think that all humans consume African Americans? Well, would that make them cannibals because African Americans are people as well, you know...do they eat themselves?
TermiNADER: So, you don't eat them?
Political Jerkface: Absolutely not! That is preposterous. You have actually used these people as food before?
TermiNADER: Well, sure, it's a standard procedure, it's just food.
Political Jerkface: You are responsible for mass loss of life!
TermiNADER: Well, you kill chickens and I don't see them bocking at you. It's just the circle of life, it's a natural occurrence, are you saying you don't believe in nature?
Political Jerkface: I cannot bare to hear this no longer!
Nader won the debate, hands down. He won it so badly, he won the next four debates without even saying anything, because his argument from the following debate was so strong.
Taxes[edit | edit source]
Ralph Nader doesn't know or care what taxes are.
Gay Marriage[edit | edit source]
Robots do not believe in any type of marriage, they believe in instant under-ground breeding shelter. He needs people to pay excessive sums of money so that he continue to blow up dogs and churches with his laser crotch. Therefore, he is opposed to it by default.
Immigration[edit | edit source]
If there is no Mexicans who is A. going to make the tacos and B. Ralph Nader prefers dessert with his blacks.
Nader on Alternative Fuel Sources[edit | edit source]
When asked by condescending, 41 year hippies who still listen to Campus Radio stations about his thoughts of alternative fuel sources to gasoline, such as ethanol or hydrogen, Nader took offense, and proceeded to force feed super novas to their children. There were no survivors. He thought this act was wrongly given negative coverage by the right-wing faggot-media outlets who were still being bitches about that time he tied their newborn puppies to his Metallic Diablo Black Kawasaki Z1000 and drove through a staple factory. Nader called an immediate press conference to set the media straight, and announced his plans for an alternate fuel source: Vespene Gas. He revealed that the United States government had partnered with GMC, and had already begun production on 1 million worker units, which were expected to arrive to the general public in Q1 2008 to coincide with the release date of the delayed Grand Theft Auto 4. The worker units would harvest the Vespene Gas from one's nearest big fucking geyser shooting out green smoke. This announcement single handedly saved the earth from global warming, as well as terrorists and gay people. But what the general public didn't find out until 2032, was that Nader was secretly installing big fucking geysers shooting out green smoke so that more people would purchase worker units and he would git money, new money. These actions, known collectively today as the Vespenegate Scandal, actually caused significantly more pollution than the burning of fossil fuels did, because nobody bothered to research if Vespene Gas was infact more environmentally safe than fossil fuels (the Nader Supremecy Act of 2012 prohibited any and all questioning of the TermiNADER indefinitely). This ended in the world "getting all icky" to quote Lord Poseidon, and caused a mass exodus to the Canadian Province of Pluto.
Where is he now?[edit | edit source]
Ralph "the TermiNADER" Nader would run all his eight years. Making global warming, gas prices, immigration, and gay marriage bigger issues than they already were. But, all is excused when your are a laser equipped presidential cyborg. He was of course blessed with immortality and continues to hover around and throw Molotov cocktails at foster homes and harass women. He would then eat them.