UnNews:Gimp group objects to K-Fed ad

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25 January 2007

K-Fed just before the shower hits.

COLUMBUS, Ohio, Wednesday (UNN) — A male prostitute trade group says it is insulted by an insurance company's planned Super Bowl ad that stars Kevin Federline as a human toilet.

Arrogant Mutual's 30-second spot shows Federline, who was recently surgically removed from pop princess Britney Spears, performing in a glitzy porn video. However, the punch line is that he's daydreaming — while actually gargling cock in a befouled public toilet and being beaten with a baseball bat. The commercial "would give the impression that being drenched in semen and excrement would be as demeaning and unpleasant as Federline," National Gimp Association President Lance Thrust said.

The ad amounts to a "strong and direct insult to the 12.8 million Americans who eat shit for a living," wrote Thrust in a letter to Arrogant Mutual CEO Jerry Superior.

Superior shrugged off the criticism, saying that where humor is involved, there always will be somebody who doesn't get it. "They can just suck my piss. Hah! Get it? Get it? Man. I slay me."

Federline was upset at the criticisms. "I'm showing my dramatic range, man. Er, yo. I'm angling to star in a James Dean biopic. A pile of people told me they'll help me train up by puttin' out cigarettes on me."

Federline's debut rap album, Playing With Myself, sold a negative number of copies, as critics returned theirs, usually with quantities of pubic hair enclosed. Some burnt extra copies just to send back.

Sources

• J. Edgar Hoover "Always wear a condom when thinking about K-Fed. Two condoms." Plumber's Helper, January 24, 2007