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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: HowTo:Rearrange the deckchairs on the Titanic Biffy Clyro Foreign accent syndrome CaseOh Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,665 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,665 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,665 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,665 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,665 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... ... that AMC's hit series Breaking Bad Wind (Pictured) featured the actors' real farts? ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip? ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE! ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it? ... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra? ... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord? ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that Big Bird was the guest of honor on a special Thanksgiving episode of Sesame Street? (Pictured) ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk? ... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm? ... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves? ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies? ... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious? ... that you just lost the Game? ... that Ram Ranch really rocks? ... that AMC's hit series Breaking Bad Wind (Pictured) featured the actors' real farts? ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip? ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE! ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it? ... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra? ... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord? ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that Big Bird was the guest of honor on a special Thanksgiving episode of Sesame Street? (Pictured) ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk? ... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm? ... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves? ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies? ... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious? ... that you just lost the Game? ... that Ram Ranch really rocks? ... that AMC's hit series Breaking Bad Wind (Pictured) featured the actors' real farts? ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip? ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE! ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it? ... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra? ... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord? ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that Big Bird was the guest of honor on a special Thanksgiving episode of Sesame Street? (Pictured) ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk? ... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm? ... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves? ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies? ... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious? ... that you just lost the Game? ... that Ram Ranch really rocks? ... that AMC's hit series Breaking Bad Wind (Pictured) featured the actors' real farts? ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip? ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE! ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it? ... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra? ... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord? ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state?	In the news Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Winter Paralympics • Saturn Awards • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed Recent deaths: Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei • Team Italy sled hockey • Miami Dolphins • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city? Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons On this day... March 15: Julius Caesar's Deathday 44 BC - Julius Caesar is stabbed to death by a conspiracy of the Roman Senate, his last words: "Oww Jesus fuck!" (Pictured) 1493 - Christopher Columbus returns to Spain after his first voyage to the New World. "What's that blood in your shoe?" asks Queen Isabella. 1917 - Tsar Nicholas II abdicates his throne, hopes to retire to a nice dingy basement with the rest of his family. 1952 - During a performance of 4'33", composer John Cage is heckled by the audience as a pretentious, lazy gasbag. Their heckling by definition becomes part of 4'33", and therefore a meta-commentary on itself: Cage is hailed as a creative genius. 1965 - President Lyndon B. Johnson advocates the Voting Rights Act as part of a fiendish Marxist ploy to get non-white people to vote and stuff. 2000 - Y2K doomsayers are just about ready to confess that they were mistaken, until they hear about the sexy new year of 2012.
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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