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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Why?:Is there a monkey in my fridge? John Marshall You Rob Gronkowski Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,107 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,107 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,107 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,107 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,107 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... ... that you can meet all sorts of interesting people when you're drunk? (Pictured) ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing? ... that this in not a DYK entry? ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now? ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric? ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide? ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"? ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries! ... that Hans Helmuth Saltzman's collection of Camera Obscura images is the best preserved of the Renaissance era? (Pictured) ... that Iran is all set to invade itself? ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies? ... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse? ... that there is one imposter among us? ... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool? ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs? ... that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap! ... that you can meet all sorts of interesting people when you're drunk? (Pictured) ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing? ... that this in not a DYK entry? ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now? ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric? ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide? ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"? ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries! ... that Hans Helmuth Saltzman's collection of Camera Obscura images is the best preserved of the Renaissance era? (Pictured) ... that Iran is all set to invade itself? ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies? ... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse? ... that there is one imposter among us? ... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool? ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs? ... that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap! ... that you can meet all sorts of interesting people when you're drunk? (Pictured) ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing? ... that this in not a DYK entry? ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now? ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric? ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide? ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"? ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries! ... that Hans Helmuth Saltzman's collection of Camera Obscura images is the best preserved of the Renaissance era? (Pictured) ... that Iran is all set to invade itself? ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies? ... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse? ... that there is one imposter among us? ... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool? ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs? ... that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap! ... that you can meet all sorts of interesting people when you're drunk? (Pictured) ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing? ... that this in not a DYK entry? ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now? ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric? ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide? ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"? ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!	In the news "Come! Come support my tacky AI website!" Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (Pictured; this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over Recent deaths: Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan • McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy (if you're Gen X) or the dad from Euphoria (if you're a Millennial or Gen Z) Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to care about On this day... February 20: Hot Garbage Day 1792 - The Postal Service is first established, celebration ceremony is accidentally rerouted to San Francisco, Spanish California. 1872 - After some harsh wind, the Metropolitan Museum of Art opens its first exhibit, a giant pile of toppled over ceiling scaffolding. 1877 - Russian ballet Swan Lake is received poorly by critics after show swans descend into the audience and peck their eyes out. 1935 - The first woman to set foot in Antarctica wonders what all the fuss was about. 1986 - The Soviet Union launches the space station Mir, cosmonauts test whether communism can work in outer space. 2016 - A man in Schenectady, New York is the first person to describe someone's opinion as "hot garbage" (Pictured), is given medal for ruining English.
Featured picture The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it. Image credit: Serge Billault View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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