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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: John Marshall You Rob Gronkowski Kirkification Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,083 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,083 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,083 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,083 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,083 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... ... that the Silver Surfer has a very large family? (Pictured) ... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit? ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today! ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's? ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis? ... that the A-bombs dropped on Japan were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize? ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"? ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special? ... that in Israel, chess sets contain rabbis rather than bishops? (Pictured) ... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it? ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank? ...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s? ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them? ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it? ... tennis isn't just a game? ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now? ... that the Silver Surfer has a very large family? (Pictured) ... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit? ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today! ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's? ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis? ... that the A-bombs dropped on Japan were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize? ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"? ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special? ... that in Israel, chess sets contain rabbis rather than bishops? (Pictured) ... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it? ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank? ...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s? ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them? ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it? ... tennis isn't just a game? ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now? ... that the Silver Surfer has a very large family? (Pictured) ... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit? ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today! ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's? ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis? ... that the A-bombs dropped on Japan were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize? ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"? ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special? ... that in Israel, chess sets contain rabbis rather than bishops? (Pictured) ... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it? ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank? ...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s? ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them? ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it? ... tennis isn't just a game? ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now? ... that the Silver Surfer has a very large family? (Pictured) ... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit? ... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today! ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's? ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis? ... that the A-bombs dropped on Japan were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize? ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"? ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?	In the news 1977-2026 US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over Recent deaths: Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) (Pictured) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) On this day... February 18: Penis Day (Tonga) 4000 BC - Men discover their hands reach down to their genitals, and there is peace for three thousand years before they get bored and start killing each other with pointy sticks. 1791 - American imperialists "liberate" the state of Vermont because of its vast maple syrup reserves. 1861 - Jefferson Davis is declared president of the Confederacy after saying the "hard R" N-word fifty times in only six seconds. 1885 - Mark Twain's Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is published, its numerous grammatical errors are labelled by the publisher as a regional dialect. 1970 - The Chicago Seven are found guilty of being dirty commie hippies who might as well be guilty. 2010 - WikiLeaks publishes hundreds of thousands of classified documents revealing exactly where the U.S. keeps its nudes.
Featured picture The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it. Image credit: Serge Billault View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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