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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: UnGames:Garlic bread Orchid HowTo:Rearrange the deckchairs on the Titanic Biffy Clyro Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,925 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,925 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,925 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,925 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,925 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... ... that solar flares are actually maritime distress signals launched by astronauts floating in the Sun's vast oceans? (Pictured) ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time? ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die? ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network? ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word? ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst? ... that Crow war chieftain Old White Man was nothing like his brothers, Walks Over Eggshells and Sees No Color? ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility? ... that ‪Captain Autofellatio (Pictured) often gets distracted from crime-fighting? ... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era? ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices? ... that your baby boy would one day walk on water? ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one? ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period? ... that you've just lost the game? ... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now? ... that solar flares are actually maritime distress signals launched by astronauts floating in the Sun's vast oceans? (Pictured) ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time? ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die? ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network? ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word? ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst? ... that Crow war chieftain Old White Man was nothing like his brothers, Walks Over Eggshells and Sees No Color? ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility? ... that ‪Captain Autofellatio (Pictured) often gets distracted from crime-fighting? ... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era? ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices? ... that your baby boy would one day walk on water? ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one? ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period? ... that you've just lost the game? ... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now? ... that solar flares are actually maritime distress signals launched by astronauts floating in the Sun's vast oceans? (Pictured) ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time? ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die? ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network? ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word? ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst? ... that Crow war chieftain Old White Man was nothing like his brothers, Walks Over Eggshells and Sees No Color? ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility? ... that ‪Captain Autofellatio (Pictured) often gets distracted from crime-fighting? ... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era? ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices? ... that your baby boy would one day walk on water? ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one? ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period? ... that you've just lost the game? ... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now? ... that solar flares are actually maritime distress signals launched by astronauts floating in the Sun's vast oceans? (Pictured) ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time? ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die? ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network? ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word? ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst? ... that Crow war chieftain Old White Man was nothing like his brothers, Walks Over Eggshells and Sees No Color? ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?	In the news World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports Recent deaths: Buffy • Xander Harris • Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • *DMV* - the TV show, not the actual DMV. It ended on a cliffhanger: Everyone was still waiting for their number to be called. • Mr. Strickland Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity • Sora On this day... March 28: Turkey—the Country, not the Bird—Day 1453 - Constantinople wants to reinvent itself, changes name to Istanbul, but honestly everyone preferred Byzantium. 1784 - Benjamin Franklin proposes that the humble turkey be the national bird of the United States, since it's got a big juicy ass. 1871 - French revolutionaries form the Paris Commune, nascent leadership quickly devolves into squabbling over the finer points of Marx's Critique of the Gotha Program before getting skewered by French troops. 1979 - A nuclear meltdown in Three Mile Island, Pennsylvania actually mutates the population of Pittsburgh closer to normal. 1990 - George W. Bush gives the late Jesse Owens the Presidential Medal of Freedom, Bush now says he has black friend. 2018 - The traitor Gülen (Pictured) sits on his remote and changes the channel seconds before the climax to his favorite soap; God is with us brothers.
Featured picture The Actor (L'acteur) is an original oil painting by Pablo Picasso. Apologies for the minor rip. Some clumsy buffoon tripped and fell onto the keyboard while it was being photoshopped. Image credit: Picasso and Kip the Dip View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You now only have 3, god dammit, 3 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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