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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Why?:Is there a monkey in my fridge? John Marshall You Rob Gronkowski Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,199 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,199 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,199 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,199 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,199 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured) ... that Iran is all set to invade itself? ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave? ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it? ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser? ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"? ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet? ... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it? ... that 10 minutes of Super Bowl XLIII was mysteriously interrupted? (Pictured) ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else? ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"? ... that my mom's name is also Martha? ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter? ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore? ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join? ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured) ... that Iran is all set to invade itself? ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave? ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it? ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser? ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"? ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet? ... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it? ... that 10 minutes of Super Bowl XLIII was mysteriously interrupted? (Pictured) ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else? ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"? ... that my mom's name is also Martha? ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter? ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore? ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join? ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured) ... that Iran is all set to invade itself? ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave? ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it? ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser? ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"? ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet? ... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it? ... that 10 minutes of Super Bowl XLIII was mysteriously interrupted? (Pictured) ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else? ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"? ... that my mom's name is also Martha? ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter? ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore? ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join? ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured) ... that Iran is all set to invade itself? ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave? ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it? ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser? ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"? ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet? ... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it?	In the news He literally fought nail and tooth for Team America Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey (Pictured); Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Winter Olympics • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan • Eric Dane • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy and snow handling capability • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to remember • Mexico On this day... February 23: Vin Diesel Saying the Word "Family" Day 1455 - The Gutenberg Bible is first printed, God brags that he is now a published author. 1923 - Werner Heisenberg plans to describe the uncertainty principle to his peers, but is unsure if they'll like it or not. 1941 - Scientists first create Plutonium, but instead of getting cool superpowers they just get cancer and die. 1947 - The International Organization for Standardization is founded to make Americans feel insecure about the customary system. 1999 - Kurdish leader Abdullah Öcalan is sentenced to death by Turkey due to mustache jealousy. 2015 - Vin Diesel (Pictured) says the word family so many times it doesn't even sound like a word anymore.
Featured picture The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it. Image credit: Serge Billault View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You only have 5 (five!) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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