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... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?

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In the news
Trump sends condolences to tough-guy actor "Mikey Madison" (Pictured) Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile Diddy gets off easy, possibly due to bribing jury Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill" United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on Trump joins in for threesome, blows load Khamenei fails to follow up after dirty talk, taps out Elon Musk breaks up with Trump Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk) Recent deaths: Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable • Jimmy Swaggart • Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota Upcoming deaths: DEI • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Dumbasses with fireworks in their backyards • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
July 9: International "Hug a Zombie" Day 2340 BC - Egyptians create Hug a Zombie Day when depressed, long-buried Egyptian soldiers rise from the grave and demand brains. 31 - Jesus raises Lazarus from dead and gives him a hug and a warm kiss. 1984 - Margaret Thatcher becomes the first ideological zombie ever to hold public office in Britain. 1985 - A new age for Zombiekind is ushered as a number of prominent zombies appear in a Michael Jackson music video. 1998 - Several Brooklyn residents are turned into zombies after a zombie pigeon escapes from its lab in Staten Island. 2011 - The United Nations celebrates Undead Rights Day, event promptly cancelled when supporters get eaten by massive horde of undead. 2013 - Zombie Apocalypse leaves whole world Zombiefied, zombies forced to hug each other. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,273 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including ARCL!:

	Uncyclopedia English United Kingdom 40,273	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 50785	アンサイクロペディア日本語 Japan 19194	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 17766	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14423
	Désencyclopédie Français France 8936	Inciclopedia Español Spain 12400	偽基百科正體中文 Taiwan 6417	Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 6330	Hikipedia Suomi Finland 7300
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

Other Uncyclopedias

	백괴사전 한국어 South Korea 6303	ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย Thailand 3132	Pekepedia Tagalog Philippines 275	Bodohpedia Bahasa Melayu Malaysia 105	伪基百科汉语 Commie China 8269
	איןציקלופדיה עברית Israel 2187	קיינציקלאָפעדיע יידיש Yiddish 46	Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia Indonesia 6054	Ndhablek Basa Jawa Java 14	Goblogpedia Basa Sunda Sunda 11
	Yansiklopedi Türkçe Turkey 762	اللاموسوعة العربية Iraq 976	نانشنامه فارسی Iran 943	ანციკლ ოპედია ქართული Georgia 4	Uncyclopedia.km ភាសាខ្មែរ Cambodia 1
	Spademanns Leksikon Dansk Denmark 9095	Ikkepedia Norsk Norway 4563	Ikkjepedia Norsk (nynorsk) Norway	Psyklopedin Svenska Sweden 2497	Անգրագ իտարան Հայերեն Armenia 4	ວິກິພີເດຍ ລາວ Laos 8
	Valenciclopèdia Català Andorra 1060	Nunyepedia Asturianu Asturias 59	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 5009	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 33	আনসাইক্ল োপিডিয়া বাংলা Bangladesh 17
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	Нециклопедија Српски Serbia 456	Neciklopedija Bosanski Bosnia 27	Neciklopediju Hrvatski Croatia 303	Butalopedija Slovenščina Slovenia 31	Википедија Македонски Macedonia 175
	Oncyclopedia Nederlands Belgium and Holland 2807	Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 21	Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3530	Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1888	Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1731
	Оксипедия Български Bulgaria 234	Neciclopedie Română Romania 167	Uichipedia Молдовеняскэ Moldova 4	Інциклопедія Українська Ukraine 1117	Абсурдопедия Русский Russia 4466
	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 159	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 267	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 3176	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 14
	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 279	Hatsiklopedia Malagasy Madagascar 8	Zombiepedia Zombie Chapel 7
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.