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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: John Marshall You Rob Gronkowski Kirkification Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,039 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,039 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,039 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,039 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,039 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... ... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured) ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches? ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber? ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall? ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case? ... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35? ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE! ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing? ... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured) ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies? ... that the police are at your door? ... that school is an asylum where they mentally and physically abuse you for seven cruel hours, all with your parents' approval? ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society? ... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'? ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name? ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case? ... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured) ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches? ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber? ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall? ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case? ... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35? ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE! ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing? ... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured) ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies? ... that the police are at your door? ... that school is an asylum where they mentally and physically abuse you for seven cruel hours, all with your parents' approval? ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society? ... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'? ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name? ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case? ... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured) ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches? ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber? ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall? ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case? ... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35? ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE! ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing? ... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured) ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies? ... that the police are at your door? ... that school is an asylum where they mentally and physically abuse you for seven cruel hours, all with your parents' approval? ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society? ... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'? ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name? ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case? ... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured) ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches? ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber? ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall? ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case? ... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35? ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE! ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?	In the news 1977-2026 US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over Recent deaths: Uncyclopedia • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) (Pictured) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again On this day... February 17: Sheeranist New Year (United Kingdom) 1991 - Famed British musician Ed Sheeran is born. Brits rejoice that their Messiah is finally with them. 1996 - Gary Kasparov loses a game of chess to a computer, like that's never happened to anyone before. 2008 - USA bombs some country after the military finds a few extra bombs hiding in an old pair of pants. 2017 - Denmark is officially recognized as a mistake and erased from history. 2026 - You finally forget about your miserable Valentine's Day, only to be tormented by this reminder.
Featured picture The War Against Terror (TWAT) was fought with whatever tools the combatants could fashion themselves. The hockeyzooka, a weapon used by terrorist footsoldiers in the 9/11 attacks, proved devastatingly effective against the government's more ungainly thermonuclear warheads. Image credit: Machinecurse View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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