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“I've never seen such urination-arity!”

– Oscar Wilde on this page

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– Captain Obvious on this page

As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Biffy Clyro Foreign accent syndrome CaseOh Conspiracy Theory Generator Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,539 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,539 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,539 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,539 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,539 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... ... cluck gawk cluck cluck cluck cluck bock bock cluck cluck B`gawk? (Pictured) ... that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography? ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand? ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes? ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that the bird is equal to or greater than the word? ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science? ... that silent radio (Pictured) existed before regular radio? ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website? ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane? ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA ... that Godot isn't coming? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks? ... that Big Pharma wants to get you high? ... cluck gawk cluck cluck cluck cluck bock bock cluck cluck B`gawk? (Pictured) ... that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography? ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand? ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes? ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that the bird is equal to or greater than the word? ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science? ... that silent radio (Pictured) existed before regular radio? ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website? ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane? ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA ... that Godot isn't coming? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks? ... that Big Pharma wants to get you high? ... cluck gawk cluck cluck cluck cluck bock bock cluck cluck B`gawk? (Pictured) ... that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography? ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand? ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes? ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that the bird is equal to or greater than the word? ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science? ... that silent radio (Pictured) existed before regular radio? ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website? ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane? ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK COCA COLA ... that Godot isn't coming? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks? ... that Big Pharma wants to get you high? ... cluck gawk cluck cluck cluck cluck bock bock cluck cluck B`gawk? (Pictured) ... that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography? ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand? ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes? ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that the bird is equal to or greater than the word? ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science?	In the news Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Privacy-infringing Nanny state officials enforcing social media bans and digital ID to "protect the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Winter Paralympics • Saturn Awards Recent deaths: Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei • Team Italy sled hockey • Miami Dolphins • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city? Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons On this day... March 10: Opposite Day 1810 - For opposite day, Napoleon Bonaparte decides to wear stilts or something I don't know. 1922 - Gandhi, in a fit of anger, nukes the peaceful country of East Volta. You've never heard of East Volta? Exactly. 1952 - Cuban dictator Fulgencio Batista decides to celebrate opposite day by taking the land and wealth from the poor instead of the rich. 1977 - Astronomers discover the rings of Uranus, they of course keep their cool since they pronounce it "Urine-us" like a bunch of nerds. Still sounds like pee though. 1994 - O.J. Simpson makes history, becomes the first African-American man to get away with the murder of a rich white woman, signalling monumental progress for people of color who also happen to be filthy rich. 2011 - Tiny politically unstable oil-rich Middle Eastern country drone strikes a wedding in Tulsa, Oklahoma. 2020 - Donald Trump blacks out his Twitter page for BLM.
Featured picture A great disturbance was recorded in the historical community today when what appeared to be a preliminary version of the Michelangelan Fresco that decorates the Sistine Chapel was found spraypainted on a remote alleyway in Rome. Notable historians whatsisname and thatguy said it was due to Michelangelo's intense desire to be accepted into the Renaissance art movement, which they say "required a fair amount of street cred." Image credit: Zombiebaron View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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