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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Why?:Is there a monkey in my fridge? John Marshall You Rob Gronkowski Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,162 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,162 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,162 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,162 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 397,162 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... ... that the toaster in Pulp Fiction is wanted in connection with at least 5 unsolved murders? (Pictured) ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?" ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania? ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke? ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation? ... that you've just lost the game? ... tennis isn't just a game? ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them? ... that it is most certainly not beneficial to Society to monitor Internet use? (Pictured) ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car? ... that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography? ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time? ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering? ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around? ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior? ... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise? ... that the toaster in Pulp Fiction is wanted in connection with at least 5 unsolved murders? (Pictured) ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?" ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania? ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke? ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation? ... that you've just lost the game? ... tennis isn't just a game? ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them? ... that it is most certainly not beneficial to Society to monitor Internet use? (Pictured) ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car? ... that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography? ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time? ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering? ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around? ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior? ... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise? ... that the toaster in Pulp Fiction is wanted in connection with at least 5 unsolved murders? (Pictured) ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?" ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania? ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke? ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation? ... that you've just lost the game? ... tennis isn't just a game? ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them? ... that it is most certainly not beneficial to Society to monitor Internet use? (Pictured) ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car? ... that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography? ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time? ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering? ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around? ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior? ... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise? ... that the toaster in Pulp Fiction is wanted in connection with at least 5 unsolved murders? (Pictured) ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?" ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania? ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke? ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation? ... that you've just lost the game? ... tennis isn't just a game? ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?	In the news "USA! USA!" Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey (Pictured); Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan • McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy (if you're Gen X) or the dad from Euphoria (if you're a Millennial or Gen Z) • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to care about On this day... February 23: Vin Diesel Saying the Word "Family" Day 1455 - The Gutenberg Bible is first printed, God brags that he is now a published author. 1923 - Werner Heisenberg plans to describe the uncertainty principle to his peers, but is unsure if they'll like it or not. 1941 - Scientists first create Plutonium, but instead of getting cool superpowers they just get cancer and die. 1947 - The International Organization for Standardization is founded to make Americans feel insecure about the customary system. 1999 - Kurdish leader Abdullah Öcalan is sentenced to death by Turkey due to mustache jealousy. 2015 - Vin Diesel (Pictured) says the word family so many times it doesn't even sound like a word anymore.
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You only have 5 (five!) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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