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As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Gangrene UnNews:Gerry-meandering Mississippi River declared unconstitutional by Supreme Court Large text Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 358,669 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 358,669 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 358,669 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 358,669 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 358,669 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... *... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and YOUR ENERGY DRINK!?!?!? ... that those actually were the droids you were looking for? ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and YOUR ENERGY DRINK!?!?!? ... that those actually were the droids you were looking for? ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and YOUR ENERGY DRINK!?!?!? ... that those actually were the droids you were looking for? ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and YOUR ENERGY DRINK!?!?!?	In the news Hard to fly with a ball and chain. Weird Al Removes R. Kelly parody from streaming (Pictured) Editorial note: Fakelogo template Sesame Street finally realizes it's on HBO Beto O'Rourke puts finishing touches on 2020 Presidential concession speech Roman Catholic Church canonizes Frosty the Snowman as a divine being Studies show clinical depression at an all-time low Trump news roundup: Plea deals, felonies, and a little girl dies in Border Patrol Santa Claus now "probably about a four" on the Kinsey scale Whirlpool Galaxy files restraining order against Neil deGrasse Tyson Jeff Bezos caught stuffing old fat dude into his trunk Trump releases abhorrent holiday stimulus package George H.W. Bush dies: Best and worst of his life Murphy Brown revival not cancelled, (Dan Quayle joke withheld in light of recent events) On this day... January 21: Drink Until It Stops Hurting Day 30 AD - Supply Side Jesus patents cure for leprosy, sells treatment for thirteen drachmas. 1503 - The first handgun is designed, launches the shooter's hands towards the enemy. 1781 - Benedict Arnold, tired of being called "Eggs Benedict" by George Washington, defects to the British. 1850 - Millard Fillmore installs the White House's first bathtub. 1954 - Leni Riefenstahl writes, directs and stars in propaganda film, "Both Sides Were Bad, M'Kay?" 1991 - First ever "Yo-Mama Joke" is told. Violent bitch-slaps shortly follow. 2017 - Millions of feminist activists and Antifa super soldiers march in the streets, murder innocent shop windows.
Featured picture {{Votevfp.dpl|image=I want scientology finished.png |name=Tom Wants You! |size=200px |caption=Why wouldn't you join? Tom Cruise is a member! Don't you trust Tom? |credit=LinkTGF |nom= |fornumber=25 |for= self nom and for --LinkTGF 23:35, 18 April 2006 (UTC) Weak for if only because I enjoy mocking him. —Hinoa KUN (talk) 23:48, 18 April 2006 (UTC) Strongly For!!!!!. That fool Tom Cruise couldn't be mocked enough!--Frinko 00:31, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For. God, I hate Tom Cruise...   t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 00:33, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For... is he pointing at God?--<<>> 00:43, 19 April 2006 (UTC) thank god someone got that, I thought no one would notice lol --LinkTGF 00:46, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For I got it Link, and I like it. --Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 01:06, 19 April 2006 (UTC) OT IV Tom=Batshit Insane --Roger The BUM MUN ⌥⌘⎋ F@H Complaints H4x0R M3! Euroipods! Norwegian Kanaaääaäaalääaaaäaaää Attack! 03:22, 19 April 2006 (UTC) Against - Change Tom Cruise to Uncle Sam, switch the pointing finger to his other hand and have it pointing at us, substitute Communism for Scientology and add five more exclaimation points and I may change my vote. But probably not. --Imrealized 04:45, 19 April 2006 (UTC) err... no... maybe since you voted against the image you just described you should change your vote to neutral ;) --LinkTGF 05:05, 19 April 2006 (UTC) Wow... I did, didn't I? Shit, I thought I was someone else for a second. In light of this development, mark me down as FOR (it really is well done Link, especially the inclusion of Scientology's own Rosy Cross) --Imrealized 05:56, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For --Da, Y?YY?YYY?:-:CUN3 NotM BLK |_LG7+::: 08:07, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For. I want THIS PICTURE for featuring. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 09:19, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For. --Conniption 09:43, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For. Good work. --Hindleyite 18:02, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For. Funny.--Rataube 20:46, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 01:53, 20 April 2006 (UTC) for but the 'for scientology' font kinda bugs me. it dosn't seem to fit... --neko 16:44, 20 April 2006 (UTC) I used IMPACT font for all the text in that image :) --LinkTGF 16:57, 20 April 2006 (UTC) Jawohl, Mein Fuhrer! Get rid of those blasted Thetans the humane way! Swordmaster 16:50, 20 April 2006 (UTC) forThat boy needs help--Lieutenant Nappy_The_Quarryman MUN UND BET ELV VAN SPEL SEXY WH NS GR HMRFRA CM 23:17, 20 April 2006 (UTC) Kaizer the Bjorn Marco Raimey toratoritore LightDisciple Martinultima ForestAngel Feureau Nice enough. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:16, 30 August 2009 (UTC) |againstnumber=13 |against= Against. --~ sin($) tan(€) 23:53, 18 April 2006 (UTC) Against. Why? Because I'm awkward. And besides, the picture of Tom is too small on the poster. And it looks too unrealistic. ~ Ghelæ talkcontribs 11:20, 20 April 2006 (UTC) Against. No celebrity jokes, please. Not for the front page, at least. - Sikon 12:01, 20 April 2006 (UTC) Against I don't know, it's a good image but Scientology is a twice-dead horse at the moment. —rc (t) 22:27, 20 April 2006 (UTC) LeoFed 02barryc George VI Ianweller anon32 DaMenace Dawg §ǚρωξλ£μĦΦφ≈€ƏξßÐÆØΞ Standard issue. 1234 ~ 06:05, 13 May 2011 |comments=Featured —rc (t) 04:24, 21 April 2006 (UTC) |Uncyclopedia:VFP/I want scientology finished.png=Uncyclopedia:VFP/I want scientology finished.png|VFP/I want scientology finished.png=VFP/I want scientology finished.png|=|=|%ARGS%=§image=I want scientology finished.png §name=Tom Wants You! §size=200px §caption=Why wouldn't you Scientology§join? Tom Cruise is a member! Don't you trust Tom? §credit=LinkTGF §nom= §fornumber=25 §for= self nom and for --User:LinkTGF§LinkTGF 23:35, 18 April 2006 (UTC) Weak for if only because I enjoy mocking him. {User:Hinoa4/sig} 23:48, 18 April 2006 (UTC) Strongly For!!!!!. That fool Tom Cruise couldn't be mocked enough!--User:Frinko§Frinko 00:31, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For. God, I hate Tom Cruise... {User:Tompkins/sig} 00:33, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For... is he pointing at God?--{User:Bradaphraser/sig} 00:43, 19 April 2006 (UTC) thank god someone got that, I thought no one would notice lol --User:LinkTGF§LinkTGF 00:46, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For I got it Link, and I like it. --{User:Zombiebaron/sig} 01:06, 19 April 2006 (UTC) OT IV Tom=Batshit Insane --User:Roger The Bum§Roger The User:Roger The Bum§BUM Order_of_Uncyclopedia#Member_.28MUN.29§MUN Template:MacUser§⌥⌘⎋ Uncyclopedia:Folding@home§F@H User_talk:Roger The Bum§Complaints H4x0R M3! Euroipods! Norwegian Kanaaääaäaalääaaaäaaää Attack! 03:22, 19 April 2006 (UTC) Against - Change Tom Cruise to Uncle Sam, switch the pointing finger to his other hand and have it pointing at us, substitute Communism for Scientology and add five more exclaimation points and I may change my vote. But probably not. --User:Imrealized§Imrealized 04:45, 19 April 2006 (UTC) err... no... maybe since you voted against the image you just described you should change your vote to neutral ;) --User:LinkTGF§LinkTGF 05:05, 19 April 2006 (UTC) Wow... I did, didn't I? Shit, I thought I was someone else for a second. In light of this development, mark me down as FOR (it really is well done Link, especially the inclusion of Scientology's own Rosy Cross) --User:Imrealized§Imrealized 05:56, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For --Da, User:Whywhywhy§Y?''YY?'''''YYY?''':-:[[Order_of_Uncyclopedia#Commander_.28CUN.29§CUN]][[Secret Thrice Society§3]] [[Uncyclopedia:Noob_of_the_Month§NotM]] BLK {!}_LG7+::: 08:07, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For. I want THIS PICTURE for featuring. {User:Spang/Sig} 09:19, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For. --User:Conniption§Conniption 09:43, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For. Good work. --User:Hindleyite§Hindleyite 18:02, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For. Funny.--User:Rataube§Rataube 20:46, 19 April 2006 (UTC) For {User:Prettiestpretty/sig} 01:53, 20 April 2006 (UTC) for but the 'for scientology' font kinda bugs me. it dosn't seem to fit... --[[User:Neko§neko]] 16:44, 20 April 2006 (UTC) I used IMPACT font for all the text in that image :) --User:LinkTGF§LinkTGF 16:57, 20 April 2006 (UTC) Jawohl, Mein Fuhrer! Get rid of those blasted Thetans the humane way! User:Swordmaster§Swordmaster 16:50, 20 April 2006 (UTC) forThat boy needs help--User:Nappy_The_Quarryman§Lieutenant Nappy_The_Quarryman Order_of_Uncyclopedia#Member_.28MUN.29§MUN Template:undisputed§UND Awards/Better§BET Template:random elvis§ELV Template:Vanitypage§VAN Awards/Spellin Aword§SPEL Template:Sexy§SEXY Template:Werehamster§WH Template:Ninjastar§NS Awards/Grue§GR Template:HMRFRA§HMRFRA Template:Cookie§CM 23:17, 20 April 2006 (UTC) {u§Kaizer the Bjorn} {u§Marco Raimey} {u§toratoritore} {u§LightDisciple} {u§Martinultima} {u§ForestAngel} {u§Feureau} Nice enough. {User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/sig4}00:16, 30 August 2009 (UTC) §againstnumber=13 §against= Against. --{User:MoneySign/sig} 23:53, 18 April 2006 (UTC) Against. Why? Because I'm awkward. And besides, the picture of Tom is too small on the poster. And it looks too unrealistic. {:User:Ghelae/sig} 11:20, 20 April 2006 (UTC) Against. No celebrity jokes, please. Not for the front page, at least. - {User:Guest/sig} 12:01, 20 April 2006 (UTC) Against I don't know, it's a good image but Scientology is a twice-dead horse at the moment. {user:Rcmurphy/sig} 22:27, 20 April 2006 (UTC) {u§LeoFed} {u§02barryc} {u§George VI} {u§Ianweller} {u§anon32} {u§DaMenace} {u§Dawg} {u§§ǚρωξλ£μĦΦφ≈€ƏξßÐÆØΞ} Standard issue. {User:Lyrithya/sig} 06:05, 13 May 2011 §comments=Featured {user:Rcmurphy/sig} 04:24, 21 April 2006 (UTC) }}
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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