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“I've never seen such urination-arity!”

– Oscar Wilde on this page

“This is the Main Page”

– Captain Obvious on this page

As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity Today's featured paragraph Recently featured: Arrested development UnNews:Famous athlete comes out of the closet UnBooks:Eschaton Why?:Are you dropping out of school? Archive – Vote for featured articles You know you're WTF when... Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 400,968 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 400,968 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 400,968 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 400,968 total flamewars purged. Advertising Sign in kumquat Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail   Advanced search Over 400,968 total flamewars purged. Advertising Did you know... ... that Fish on skates is a cannibal? (Pictured) ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C? ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis? ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period? ... that I am violently shitting myself right now? ... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins? But all of them are wiki editors? ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit? ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber? ... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured) ... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head? ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears? ... that for every time we receive a shitty article, an execution is ordered? ... that the White House is really off-white? ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter? ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis? ... that Fish on skates is a cannibal? (Pictured) ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C? ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis? ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period? ... that I am violently shitting myself right now? ... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins? But all of them are wiki editors? ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit? ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber? ... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured) ... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head? ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears? ... that for every time we receive a shitty article, an execution is ordered? ... that the White House is really off-white? ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter? ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis? ... that Fish on skates is a cannibal? (Pictured) ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C? ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis? ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period? ... that I am violently shitting myself right now? ... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins? But all of them are wiki editors? ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit? ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber? ... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured) ... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head? ... that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears? ... that for every time we receive a shitty article, an execution is ordered? ... that the White House is really off-white? ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter? ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis? ... that Fish on skates is a cannibal? (Pictured) ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C? ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis? ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period? ... that I am violently shitting myself right now? ... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins? But all of them are wiki editors? ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit? ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?	In the news Farewell, Dolly (1946-2026) and so many others Xbox begins rationing Game Pass to 2 hours of playtime/month, Trump launches personal Twitch stream to compensate Trump invents new lake to piss off Canada; even most Americans roll eyes Social Security retires, takes the money and runs rather than deal with the inevitable Britain abuses Emergency Alert System to tell people not to use BBQs Country you've never heard of changes name, not too different from old name Mr. Blobby burninates the whole of Europe Andy Murray becomes Pope of the United Kingdom HATSUNE MIKU IS SPANI— *ahem* I mean, Argentina loses to Spain at the 2026 FIFA World Cup Canada is on fire again The United States gives birth at 250 Giraffe marries hippo in Mamdanistan, at a ceremony attended by the Illuminati, officiated by Happy Gilmore. Insiders claim the upcoming divorce album will "be lit". I asked AI to write me an Uncyclopedia article: the results surprised me We asked current UFC champions what their favorite Mitski song is! Seattle, FIFA troll homosexuals and homophobes Europe repeatedly melts into pile of goo Deltarune Chapter 5 to be released IN 3 MOTHERFUCKING SECONDS!!! Wikipedia co-founder permanently blocked, unblocked, and then re-blocked from his own creation; hundreds of Wikipedia editors swarm to Uncyclopedia Starmer to force UnNews to prioritise BBC over the "disinformation" we apparently provide Ongoing: The gradual dehydration of Earth • Letterboxd outage • Argentina still refusing to accept defeat at the World Cup • Falklands War 2: Electric Boogaloo • Trump claiming victory in Iran... for, like, the 101st time or something Recent deaths: A LOT of celebrity deaths in August! 😭 (Pictured) • Rukidi IV • Harald V • Lionel Messi's FIFA career • Victor Miller • Gloria Steinem Upcoming deaths: PlayStation • Iran • Dick Van Dyke • Bitch McTurtleface • Dr. Fauci • Low Tier God On this day... September 4: Unnecessary Surgery Day 30 - The Original Artists release album "20/20: The 20 Greatest hits from the 20's" 1427 - Katie Price formed by sending an electric current through plastic. Generally seen to be a lousy idea. 2003 - Al Gore has an aditional nose surgically attatched to his back, thus letting him smell his own farts. 1834 - Vlad Drakul cancels newspaper subscription. 1933 or 1934 - Eduard Khil was born. Let the trolling begin! 1952 - Colonel Potter tries to take out Lt. Radar O'Riley's appendix, only to discover after making an incision that it's already out. 1954 - In the only such instance in recorded history, your mom lost weight. 1971 - Elvis gets a paper cut. 1972 - Elvis gets a paper clip. 1975 - A distant relative of a famous musician accidentally stumbles in front of an oncoming taxi cab, but the car stops, and he survives. 1980 - John Denver hits the snooze button. 1983 - Michael Jackson nearly dies of food poisoning after eating 12-year-old nuts. 1984 - Pop star Prince has a second penis surgically attached. Millions think he's a gimp. Millions more just think it is so he can go and fuck himself. A recent internet video proves this. 1985 - Cary Grant finds his bedside table has a small crack on one of the legs. 1994 - An Ace Of Base song is released. The subsequent decontamination process takes 15 years to complete. 1996 - Pop star Prince (or whatever the fuck he's called now) has a third penis surgically attached. 1997 - Prince succesfully sues his surgeon for giving him the penis of an impotent man, claiming it has given his other two penises "performance anxiety". Nobody knows what the fuck he's talking about. Again. 2005 - Steve Irwin kills a stingray in a boating accident while 5 times over the drink drive limit. 2006 - Steve Irwin is murdered by a stingray. Police say it was an accident and the stingray isn't charged. 2050 - Australians finally stop referring to Steve Irwin as a great bloke/battler/fighter/true Aussie and generally agree he was a bit stupid.
Featured picture Little did you know, the Sun was flat all along. Image credit: MK View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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