User talk:ChiefjusticeDS/Archive 10

Hey! Don't archive that!

Never heard back from you on Sections 83, 110, and 113. Separately, thanks for intervening after reports to UN:BP. Spıke ¬ 23:16 3-Jan-11

Maybe he just doesn't like you, Spike... considered that? 1234 ~ Major Pleb Dame Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 23:42, 3 January, 2011 (UTC)

I have responded, in my mind, stick around perchance I shall pen my most profound thinking later. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 08:42, January 4, 2011 (UTC)

So you're gonna finally finish that novel? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 08:44, January 4, 2011 (UTC)

Okay, WHY?!

I read the Beginner's Guide over and over and over and over and over and over and over. You probably smell like moldy cheese in real life, and you probably wear a bra. WHY DID YOU DELETE THE ARTICLE ABOUT SAM HILDESTAD? 69.224.123.226 03:18, January 4, 2011 (UTC)

Sorry, that was I, HannahMontanaFan. I'm not logged in. Respond to me on HannahMontanaFan's talk page.

I'm no dunce.

I just saw the Malleo discussion page. Dunce of the day? You can just go [Censored Ramblings that have no real meaning. Hey did I ever tell you I like cheese?].

Sorry. Outburst. But if I was a dunce, I wouldn't be one of the few people here who use proper grammar.

Also, what's a Deus Ex Machina? A.J. Singer 12:37, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

User:Scofield/Indefinitely Blocked User (Revised version)

I think it's a slight improvement over the current one. --Scofield 07:56, January 4, 2011 (UTC)

Do you need any help?

I was being serious on IRC. Need any help? --Will k Chat with me!

I'm sure I do, I'm not sure what with, but when I know, you will receive my instructions. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 19:43, January 4, 2011 (UTC)

:)))

"Stop that, on the path of the righteous edit warring is not, Swindon that way lies"

It's very funny. I wish I understand what you have tried to say.--166.32.193.81 16:50, January 4, 2011 (UTC)

You were making an edit that was under discussion on the article talk page. You have done so again and reverted me, you are banned again. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 19:41, January 4, 2011 (UTC)

Cleaning up gamespace

Hey, I'm experimenting with cleaning up the excessive pages in gamespace at the moment. I have just condensed Game:Abyss into one page (being that link there) and that means that all the subpages are now orphans. This is a technical clean-up as opposed to a QA clean up, so it's not a vfd issue, and the original pages weren't mine, so I was unsure if they should be added to qvfd. Long story short, there are a couple of pages that are now useless (127 to be exact) but I don't know how to kill them. (I also need to get the details of "What links here" on those pages to completely tidy this up, but I can do that after they're deleted still, so no major issue.) Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 03:02, Jan 5 2011 UTC

Actually, don't worry about the links aspect of it at all... I've been through half of these pages and found no links outside the game except for a DLL on an archived talkpage. Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 03:17, Jan 5 2011 UTC

If you find what needs destroying I will destroy it, just put it on a page somewhere so I can make sure I get all of it. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 10:04, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

Actually...

Sam Hildestad is actually a real actor who was on Pokemon, Shake It Up, and Shorts. He is a friend of mine, but it's funny, he used to have a Wikipedia page, and he's in the suggestions for Google. So, REVIVE IT! HannahMontanaFan 03:53, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

Maybe not... [1] Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 04:18, Jan 5 2011 UTC

Like he said, you aren't having the article back, end of. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 10:02, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

Will you be my mommy for a bit...

...and ban me if I keep... actually, nevermind. That wouldn't help. Crap. This sucks.

Although I could just blame you lot anyhow, which, in fact, I think I will. Yes. All your fault. And by 'you', I mean admins. All your fault, bloody admins! 1234 ~ Major Pleb Sir Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 • GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 04:57, 5 January, 2011 (UTC)

Phnerb. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 12:35, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

Grrr. 1234 ~ Major Pleb Dame Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 15:21, 5 January, 2011 (UTC)

And on that note...

PuppyOnTheRadio would like to bless
ChiefjusticeDS
for your efforts in improving our world by
being supremely fantastic.
May you treasure your Puppy blessing always

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Jan 6th, 2011 • Issue 102 • Just add Milk!

Wiki Update By Chief So it would seem, considering Uncyclopedia has successfully staggered its way into a new year (and its 6th birthday on Janurary 5), that everything is working as it should; this raises the question, why? Well, we at the UnSignpost love a challenge, so we have investigated the salt mines of Uncyclopedia to see the inmates users who are currently labouring in them to produce the site we all know and love. VFD is working splendidly and has recently held a minor games purge. If you missed out, shame on you. Watched over by Sycamore, it is edited continuously by a few others who have been hitting the random page button in search of crap to rewrite for months, if not years now. Over on UnNews, SPIKE is also labouring in the place of UnNews grandmaster, the right honourable Zim ulator. Meanwhile on pee review, Lyrithya and Black flamingo11 have been shouldering more responsibility than they know what to do with, reviewing and checking the infernal tables and generally filling the void left by somebody trying in vain to get a life. Now for a quick moment on the forums.... that's that over with. Recent changes is also empty because Socky has stopped categorising absolutely everything and everyone else is.... writing. Romartus is still shattering hopes and dreams on VFH and we hope to be able to bring you this exact same piece of news next year. The admins are of course splitting their time between overseeing the whole process and abusing their powers for giggles. If you work like a dog for Uncyclopedia and you haven't been mentioned here, it's nothing personal; it's just you aren't good enough our journalists are easily distracted by loud noises and flashing lights, so perhaps you live too near a lighthouse.... or a level crossing. From the desk of the Cabal:Compliance recommended for 2011 By Nobody It has not escaped the notice of the non-existent Cabal that Uncyclopedia has successfully survived another year, and the Cabal, of which there is none, orders all subjects to have a happy new year, or else. It would seem that you ignored our ruling of last year where we instructed you to comply at every opportunity and issued a decree banning drama. In 2010 we saw range blocks and epic ban sprees (to purge the ballot boxes and thus purify democracy), we witnessed mass deletions (necessary losses), we observed hundreds of forum topics declaring Wikia to be the worst (Wikia are to be obeyed despite this), we watched as you persecuted the weak, stubborn and female (to build the master race) and took note of your single success, that of closing the worst 100 reflections on 2010 before midnight on December 31st. This took you two years; it does not count. In short you have failed us again. So as 2010 fades into distant memory, we turn our eyes to 2011. We have the following advice: question nothing; you are meddling with powers you cannot possibly comprehend; remain indoors; do not attempt to remove the cameras from your dwelling they are for the protection of the community; drive safely; stay in school/work; shut the fuck up and go write an article; provide your bank details and PIN when asked. That is all citizens, you may now move freely about the complex.

Check out these pages! Writer of the Year Uncyclopedian of the Year Potatochopper of the Year It's here, but we're still confused! From our logs: 09:56, January 1, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Famine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (by blocking Famine, do I end world hunger? No need to thank me, just bring me a pork pie.) 12:35, January 5, 2011 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked EugeneKay (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1.673 hours ‎ (For helping me with my email - smart arse.) 17:06, January 4, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 166.32.193.81 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (reverting admins and other experienced users for no good reason, also for annoying me on a tuesday, the worst day of the week to annoy me.) 23:05, January 3, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 166.32.193.81 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Stop that, on the path of the righteous edit warring is not, Swindon that way lies) 07:42, January 4, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.131.23.226 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 days ‎ (His habit of replacing words with "COCK," "JESUS" and "CHRIST" is so funny my hand slipped and accidentally hit the "BAN" button) Biopic of the Week This week, the UnSignpost has once again put off actually having to find out something about a user - going to their talk page, reading their articles; this is the same as work. Instead we have decided to biopic last year because that means we can make lots of generalisations and you all get to be included in the biopic, unless you joined in the last 6 days, in which case, where the fuck were you? In 2010, all sorts of fun things happened. We appointed new administrators, we reviewed lots, then we didn't review at all, we all left because of drama in summer, then we all came back again, then the FBI phoned An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays and all the administrators started drinking even more, except Zombiebaron who came back and we all welcomed him, what a splendid fellow. We fought in the street, we fought on talk pages and we fought in the village dump, then we went to Wikipedia and fought there, then the servers broke so we all came back here and fought with Wikia. Then we sulked. Happy New Year! Mince Pie of the year UU ate more mince pies than anyone else over Christmas. Well done him, he wins at heart disease. We look forward to hearing of his premature death unloved and miserable thousands of miles from home.

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Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 09:56, Jan 6 2011 UTC

I Removed this from the pee list

As I felt it was not a valid article to be reviewed as the author simply wrote very stupidly juvenile like and did not read HTBFANJS. Plus, I recently put this on VFD.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 03:06, January 7, 2011 (UTC)

So if I felt you "wrote very stupidly juvenile like", I'd be allowed to remove your comment right here? - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at 03:10, Friday 07 January 2011 -

Colin is right. The author went to Pee Review to seek help. HTBFANJS is hard to read; and, though we try to point people there, you are technically allowed to start an article without passing a test. Also, the assertion that he meant to flout HTBFANJS is a matter of opinion. 333, you not only aborted the review but listed the article on VFD. How is it so clear to you that the author meant to vandalize Uncyclopedia by the insertion of a bad article? Spıke ¬ 03:16 7-Jan-11

Nevermind

Had no idea Lyrithya was reviewing it (no template was placed), and I clearly reacted before thinking. My apologies.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 03:20, January 7, 2011 (UTC)

Well, I hardly expected someone to do what you did - unless the article doesn't exist at all, I really don't think would be your call to make, anyway. The article is hardly good, but on the other hand, it'd not exactly done, either, and the fellow might be onto something, with it or with future endeavours, and a review could do it good.

As for that VFD nom, you knew it was invalid, didn't you? And why do you so like to pull out HTBFANJS as if it some great law of uncyclopedia, from the letter of which everything else must follow? Because it needn't. 1234 ~ Major Pleb Dame Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 03:23, 7 January, 2011 (UTC)

HTBFANJS is a great law; but explicitly an "ignorable policy," all its pieces wilting in the event of truly good writing. Which didn't happen here; but neither is there evidence of the author's malevolence. 333 has apologized, so resist the temptation to grind him into the dirt. Spıke ¬ 03:26 7-Jan-11

Actually, that was more directed at his reviewing habits. No need to quote it on every... bloody... review... oh, gods... it's happening, isn't it? They're finally getting to me, those infernal tables... GYAAAAAAAH! *runs away, flailing* Sorry, killer-mon. I got annoyed. I didn't mean it. Did I? 1234 ~ Major Pleb Sir Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 03:32, 7 January, 2011 (UTC)

I don't know his reviewing habits. Citing HTBFANJS during a review can be a good thing, as it tells the reviewee that the issue is an agreed-on baseline rather than the reviewer's personal opinion. I do know that in other areas--such as that threatening template of his--he seems to want to speak for the community. But in transactions like this, he's learning how to get along with people. Spıke ¬ 03:41 7-Jan-11

Reason why I did that is because I've seen Chief do it to an review before, but I guess that really wasn't my call.

And no I did not know that the article was invalid because I don't check the age of articles, probaly something I should be doing now. Also, I've been lacking a bit of sleep lately and my mind is kinda screwy right now, and I usually make poor choices like that. So typically this was a mistake with no maulicious attempt. I've done things like this before (like that time I created alot of forums in one day which gave me a ban from TKF), everybody has.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 03:48, January 7, 2011 (UTC)

Mmnnngh... well... well I'm still mad at you for quoting HTBFANJS everywhere on reviews! Graw! *stomps off huffily* 1234 ~ Major Pleb Dame Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 04:27, 7 January, 2011 (UTC)

Not to add to the madness directly overhead....

But how do I go about handling logging this....ahem....."review" into the maintenence tables? Does I just strike it from the table and pretend it never happened for scoring purposes? --—John Lydon 17:29, January 7, 2011 (UTC)

Just ignore it; has no bearing on the tables. qvfd, perhaps? 1234 ~ Major Pleb Sir Lyrithya • Athyria • Isarra • Haydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotM • UotM • RotM • PotM • UGotM x4 • SotM • FFS • NOM • MotM • BFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PS • FiyC • MD • Top3 x3 • Top10 • VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoS • TAW • HMC • PEEING • PRS • PC • URC • ΥΣΣ • IC • ZB -- 18:11, 7 January, 2011 (UTC)

IP stupidity...

Hello. I made a userspace article Mocking badly made articles, based off of the original version of the article "Everybody hates Chris", Here. one of the categories I added to the end of the article, called "Category:OMG BEZ EVER!!!!!!!!!! YES IT IS!!! YAAAAAAA AA SO COOOL YOU MUST BELEIEV ME :D" was intended to have not been created, and I noticed it had been created TWICE by 2 different IPs. I DID NOT CREATE THIS CATEGORY. I didn't even know anybody would see the article I didn't do it. - Another n00b 20:03, January 7, 2011 (UTC)

All that for nothing...

I made the page FUCKING WIN and you deleted it. And I totally understand why, 'cause I kinda hadn't finished it... and maybe didn't put in the construction thing. If I could have it back, it would be much appreciated.

I come bearing cake...

Or I would if I had any. Sorry.

Anyway, real question is, with them review table things, since I've only been checking the other ones besides my own, is there any way to keep mine from getting lost amidst the rest like what happened before? I really don't want to just check them myself, partly because I'm selfish and appreciate the feedback you sometimes give in comments, and mostly for other reasons that you probably already know, but... eh?

Also, when folks revise their reviews after they've been checked and deemed not good, then what? Does it change anything, on the off chance they really do get them better? 1234 ~ 05:02, 10 January 2011

I'll find all your reviews if you add them to the table and I will check them out when I can. As for people revising their reviews after being told it is not in-depth; I have tended to allow people to do it in the past providing the review was their most recent. If you aren't sure just give me a shout and I'll deal with it for you. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 08:35, January 10, 2011 (UTC)

So that time you missed one was a pure coincidence? It won't happen again? Very well; pain of muskox if it does, you hear me? Pain of muskox!

But seriously, thanks, good to know, and will do. Although I do kind of want to infest a talkpage with muskoxen for a reason one of these days... 1234 ~ 17:16, 10 January 2011

Ban time?

Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Souvlaki. Your call. --Black Flamingo 15:02, January 10, 2011 (UTC)

Regrettably I fear it must be. Let me know if you see any more like that or, when his ban expires, if you see him booking in to do a review and says it will take longer than 6 hours. 24 hour limits are for reviewers who actually do their reviews. Cheers for spotting it. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 15:11, January 10, 2011 (UTC)

For you're information I did not abandoned it, my computer crashed while I was doing the review and wasn't able to complete it on time. I'm still aware of the finish the review rule, It's not like I forgot about it.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 00:13, January 12, 2011 (UTC)

I see, our mind reading equipment must have been experiencing downtime, that's why we wouldn't have known. I blocked you for not providing any information as to why you failed to complete it. I have checked your contributions you were on the day you booked it and the next day (at different times), this computer crashing excuse doesn't wash with me especially as it seems to happen to you over and over again. The limit is 24 hours, if you are taking longer you shoukd tell the person waiting for the review. I refuse to believe there was no way you could let the person know/get online for the 3 days you just left it sitting. You may think I'm overreacting here, and I would be were this not the 5th time I have had to speak to you about it. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 00:22, January 12, 2011 (UTC)

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Jan 13th, 2011 • Issue 103 • Leave to stand for 5 minutes before consuming

Voting Frenzy By Chief It's that month again, the famous voting month when Uncyclopedians gather to air their opinions on the year that has been, user contributions or lack thereof and lots of other things. The difference between this and the continuous monthly evaluation normally going on is that now we have Writer of the Year, Uncyclopedian of the Year, RadicalX of the Year and Useless Gobshite of the Year to accompany our small selection of monthly awards/voting pages: WotM, UotM, PotM, NotM, AotM, RotM, EGA, FP, PWotM, ANOTM, Top 10 o' the month, UGotM, VFH, VFD, VFS and VFP. Of course it is the duty of every Uncyclopedian worth his/her salt to vote and have an opinion on each and every one of the above. Having no opinion is not an option; we can't afford such luxuries, not when the very fabric of our society hangs by a thread made entirely of voting pages. The UnSignpost has spoken to experts in voting patterns and strategies and they have instructed us to encourage each and every one of you to vote for whichever candidate you wouldn't like to not unwin again! It's that simple! A quick round up on our yearly awards: over on WotY Mhaille, Sog1970 and Aleister in Chains are slugging it out blow by blow for pole position. On UotY, some Spunk bubble has stormed ahead with Lyrithya in second place and all the other deserving candidates scrapping on the floor for... er scraps. On PotY Zombiebaron has taken a convincing lead. Since we failed to ask him to comment he might have said: "Braaaains, I shall consume all brains," which leads this reporter to comment that Zombiebaron may well be on the wrong website. The best articles of 2010 voting opens on the 15th of this month and will give the hardcore voters among you a chance to get stuck in again, but this time into people's articles rather than the people themselves. Regrettable, we know, but you can always nominate them for something next month. As the voting frenzy continues, the UnSignpost will continue to watch from a safe distance and will be on hand to comfort all the winners when they realise the best years of their lives have been spent essentially bailing out the Titanic with a small mug. The very worst of luck to everyone, and indeed everything, competing. Uncyclopedia is 6! By Chief It's true, it is. Six years of crawling around the back streets of the internet begging to anyone for cash/servers/food, regardless of how useful they may or may not be. That's right, everyone, you are aboard the good ship Uncyclopedia, the only wiki that has sails and a rudder and that's a fact. The UnSignpost won't be doing anything like making up poems or getting emotional and tender about Uncyclopedia growing a year older, since some people have already shown off what big girls they are by doing just that. A quick review of said poetry: Olipro thinks it's cool and manly to swear (it isn't and his poem sucks because of it), Mimo&maxus thinks it's cool to be like Olipro (it isn't and his poem sucks because of it), and neither of them are very good at poetry (this is true and their poetry sucks because of it). Happy birthday Uncyclopedia! At least we here at the UnSignpost did the manly thing of putting on a pink apron and baking you a cake.

Check out these pages! PLS Q&A Stuff you could be doing! Another voting page! How does it happen? From our logs: 21:30, January 10, 2011 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.210.176.189 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (OMG! THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD WITH A DYNAMIC IP! THE HORROR! THE HORROR!) 02:50, January 10, 2011 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Posting a comment on a locked forum topic. You monster!) 16:23, January 7, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked FuuuD: (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Nobody cares about you, your school chums and/or their love of anal (except Olipro, he's probably taking notes)) 00:23, January 12, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.112.44.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Lovely, perhaps next time you are on the wiki we could have crumpets and discuss your crippling stupidity) 03:40, January 7, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.130.126.254 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (This is probably the sort of thing you'll find funny: YOU'RE REALLY SMART... (pause) NOT!!!!) Biopic of the Week Instead of trying to give you clues, this week the UnSignpost is just going to come straight out and tell you whom we are using for the biopic. We won't mention that he was adopted by ChiefjusticeDS but overcame this disadvantage to actually be quite useful. We won't mention the fact that he can sing, read and play music. We won't mention his featured articles, his Pee Reviews, his userboxes, his permanently broken user page or how annoyed it makes him if you spell the second part of his user name wrong. We won't dance around the issue any further; we owe it to those of you who have busy lives and those of you who are reading the UnSignpost while your home burns around you not to mince words, so we won't, we are through mincing words; our words are so unminced they are still going "Moo" and eating grass. So now we have dispensed with all that time wasting nonsense we can tell you immediately and without delay that this week the biopic is about John Lydon. Newsroom UnTune of the week Are We Human Or Are We Cancer?

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Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 03:15, Jan 13 2011 UTC

Malfunctioning bot reporting for maintenance

Well, not really, but I think 4skin (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser is a gomphog sock. I'd swear my knickers on it. 1234 ~ 20:13, 13 January 2011

Lets just hope he's not then.--Sycamore (Talk) 20:21, January 13, 2011 (UTC)

I'd rather suspect it to be a Guitarded sock. I could be wrong, though. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:39, 13 January 2011

They are one and the same. 1234 ~ 21:28, 13 January 2011

I'd reckon it's a Horn Dingus sock. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 03:04, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

n00bish Question

Do I need to have special privalages to place a rewrite tag on a page, or is it another thing standard users can't do? Reply on my talk page (I have a bad memory). -- Gamma287 02:59, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

I greatly appreciate your support.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:44, January 14, 2011 (UTC)

---

Okay, okay

So it's typically my fault that the review was not complete and that I did not told the use. As for the excuses, I just don't want you to think I'm doing this on purpose. It's not like I act like this, "Sure, I'll do the review. Just kidding, moron! I can't believe you fell for that you pathtic excuse of a person! Muhahahahahahaha!" You know me better than that.

Speaking of Pee Review, I was surprised you didn't say anything to me about that review I took of the Pee list, which was actually a good thing as I didn't want more criticism (like some people) who thought I was being a douchbag. --If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 01:49, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Your userpage

Is awesome. Made me lol endlessly. Also, I hear that people hate you now. Is that true? ~ 12:57, Jan 15, 2011

Apparently yes, I'm so lovely and full of love/care/delight, they are just envious. Nice to see you around again! --ChiefjusticeXBox360 16:53, January 15, 2011 (UTC)

Which was yours?

Was it the alphabet grenades one? If so, I need to go strangle Zombiebaron, now.

If not, could you be a dear and hold still while I strangle you? 1234 ~ 03:17, 16 January 2011

I am a pimple on the buttocks of Doom

That header gave me an idea. However, I was here to apologize for the huge VFD workload I've been giving you. As you are most likely aware by now, I'm determined to get rid of the bulk of the gamespace, and maybe return it to some of it's former glory. I don't want to become a poopsmith, but I also don't feel right asking you to delete 100 pages every few days. Any way I can get huffing rights? Nominally Humane! some time Sunday, 14:19, Jan 16 2011 UTC

I'm afraid there is not, the only way to get the ability to delete pages is by becoming an administrator. It was discussed last year, except with banning rights and there is no way to afford you the power to delete things without wikia making a tool to do that. I am attempting to get hold a mass deletion tool unlocked by wikia that will make the job easier. Unfortunately it is very difficult to catch sannse on IRC these days. So the answer is no, unfortunately, but give me a while and I'll try and find something that will make it slightly quicker. But don't worry too much about us having to delete them manually, there isn't just me after all. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 14:32, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

Short of that, is there a way to get a directory, say of my userspace? The only way I keep track of what's piling up there is to hope I still have all of it on my watch list. Spıke ¬ 15:17 16-Jan-11

When you say directory, what would you want to achieve through it? --ChiefjusticeXBox360 15:21, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

To see a list of what pages are there? To take abandoned projects to QVFD? Spıke ¬ 15:22 16-Jan-11

Try going here and then searching for "User:SPIKE/" and anything that shows up is a page in your userspace. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 15:31, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

There's also a nice special page for listing everything with a prefix in a given namespace... say, prefix= User:SPIKE in the User: namespace... 1234 ~ 15:46, 16 January 2011

That's not piling up; This is piling up. Nominally Humane! some time Sunday, 16:30, Jan 16 2011 UTC

Well, at least you can edit yours... a third of mine are protected so I can't even touch them. 1234 ~ 16:39, 16 January 2011

That gets the job done; thanks all. Spıke ¬ 16:43 16-Jan-11

Chief, whenever you want to do a huffing party drop me a line. We'll do it together. ~ 19:04, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

I never get invited to these parties! I'll bring the pizza and the booze, you bring the grease and the large torch so we can see into the crevices when we have greased them. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 19:14, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

Clare GAA Pee Review

Hello, I posted my article Clare GAA on the Pee Review page but it does'nt appear to be on the page. I would appreciate if you could help me with this problem? Thanks, Seányg

fixed. And this is not my talk page. Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 00:10, Jan 17 2011 UTC

You did it partly wrong. 1234 ~ 00:25, 17 January 2011

Close enough. Didn't twig to the extra character until later. Also shouldn't have had my sig, but UN:N. Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 01:08, Jan 17 2011 UTC

Hah! But yeah. 1234 ~ 01:16, 17 January 2011

I really should start using the preview button... Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 02:29, Jan 17 2011 UTC

Salamnder redirect

On the Run is a new remake in progress of Salamander. I redirected Salamander to On the Run. Why did you delete the reidrect? -- 22:53, January 17, 2011 (UTC)

Because nothing linked to the Game:Salamander redirect (save for POTR's userpage) and nobody is going to search for Game:On the Run by searching for Game:Salamander; this makes it eligible for destruction. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 23:14, January 17, 2011 (UTC)

I have a userpage that linked there? Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 15:25, Jan 18 2011 UTC

As I recall, I might have dreamed that part though... --ChiefjusticeXBox360 17:03, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

But perhaps somebody wants to play it and they realize it's deleted, and they think it's gone forever, when in reality it's not. -- 23:36, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

I don't think that's very likely. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 00:01, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

*quickly thinks of something to change the topic* Um....hey check out my gallery. -- 02:52, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

PEE review

Other than confirming quality of review, what needs to be done with the PEE reviews once the review is complete? I know adding to # of reviews and working out the running average of score for a reviewer. Anything else? Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 15:25, Jan 18 2011 UTC

That's pretty much it, all of the stuff we do can be found in here. Though we do not keep an average for the Peeing proletariat tables. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 17:01, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

That howto is quite possibly the most unhelpful, convoluted annoying thing I have ever had the displeasure to try to understand. I failed, as you probably noticed. PotR seems smarter than me, though, so perhaps he'll be fine... 1234 ~ 17:26, 18 January 2011

Everyone is smarter than you. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 17:30, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you; I always treasure your blunt and pointed insights. 1234 ~ 17:33, 18 January 2011

That's what she said! --ChiefjusticeXBox360 17:45, January 18, 2011 (UTC)

Yes. Yes, it is. 1234 ~ 18:09, 18 January 2011

It's almost what she said. Just substitute the word "insights" and you're there. Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 02:06, Jan 19 2011 UTC

Oh, re the email - Did you want me to send lists to you or are you happy for me to send lists direct and cc? Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 03:21, Jan 19 2011 UTC

I'll let you know when Uberfuzzy has decided how he wants to sort it, he may ask you to send them or it may not be necessary. I will let you know. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 09:02, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks!

For the vote on going into the light (or was that just wishful thinking about me on your part. . .wait just a darn minute). Your vote on a page is always sought for, sort of a Romartus/Chief Justice standard. Thank you. Aleister 18:00 18-1-'11

Since I've been gone...

You've had gender-reassignment surgery! Amazing! And even more amazing, you've added colour to your siggy! None of which has anything to do with my point. Could you huff and puff and blow down User:Why do I need to provide this?/Stonehenge Apocalypse? Believe it or not but I'm writing an article here with my one-and-a-half hands (recovery still in progress). I started it as a regular article, but soon realized I was writing an unNews article, so redirected it. I'll probably rename and redirect it again and don't want to end up with a double-redirect. So in the meantime, please huff away. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:54, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

Somehow things got a bit confused. I had asked for User:Why do I need to provide this?/Stonehenge Apocalypse to be huffed, but some

kind-hearted soul I'm sure read my message a bit differently than I had intended and huffed User:Why do I need to provide this?/UnNews:Stonehenge Apocalypse instead. This is fixable by either that kind-hearted soul or yourself, right? My article-in-progress seems to have gone bye-bye and I'm missing it already. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  07:15, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

Done. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 09:03, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks!

My initial confusion is clearing up. I am looking forward to contributing to this site I have been enjoying since I discovered it back in 2006. You were a great help! Thanks again! (Boy this formatting is easier than I first assumed it would be)

--Boatvan 21:15, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

No problem, let me know if you have any problems. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 21:27, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

More huffing and puffing

Thanks a bunch for fixing my previous huffing problem. But yes, as I said I might do I renamed the article and moved it again. I'm almost positive this will be the last time--until it moves to mainspace after PLS. Please to huff User:Why do I need to provide this?/UnNews:Stonehenge Apocalypse and its talk page. Thanks in advance. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:47, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

I love your quote supposedly by me: "because I'm a putz who changed his mind on the title." It's so sweet and endearing. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:53, January 19, 2011 (UTC)

Can I subscribe to a one year deal to the UnSignpost

Can I? -- 03:24, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

Of course you can. Just send me two monthly instalments of a large moose and... oh, who am I kidding... I m never going to get a moose.If you tried, the gods would just smite you down like they smote down all my other possibilities...

Bloody hopeless. 1234 ~ 04:14, 20 January 2011

What's the point when you can just read it on other people's talkpages? --Black Flamingo 21:38, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

It's like a bookshop, why would you actually buy the books when you can just sit on a sofa and read them in the shop? --ChiefjusticeXBox360 22:06, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

Why go to a bookshop when you can get a job as an editor and see them through all their horrid phases before finally giving up and letting the writers do whatever they want, no matter how horrible it turns out? 1234 ~ 22:25, 20 January 2011

Where can you see older versions of the UnSignpost? --    08:57, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

It's all linked on the UnSignpost page. The archives are underneath all those other links to users who have vanished and whatnot. 1234 ~ 09:00, 22 January 2011

Oh. --    09:33, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

Maniac, your signature is too tall, fix it in accordance with this please. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 09:35, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

Fix'd. --    22:35, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

Do not attempt to adjust your set. This is the UnSignpost.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way they did!

Jan 20th, 2011 • Issue 104 • Whatever happened to Wagon Wheels?

PuppyOnTheRadio makes a discovery! By Chief Incredible, isn't it; we were pretty astounded ourselves... the UnSignpost actually has some news to report! Yes, everyone's favourite radio-fetishist canine has made the discovery of the century decade year week by coming up with a way to condense games down into one, two, three or even four pages as opposed to 167. This discovery has many benefits, none of which are likely to affect you, but it helps fulfil Uncyclopedia's green commitment by reducing internet congestion by quite a high number and it makes your work easier to destroy, thus breaking your spirit up to 50% quicker! This paper understands that the discovery occurred as PuppyOnTheRadio was sniffing spores, mould and fungus (as he does every Tuesday), when he accidentally sneezed mucus all over them. POTR then observed some remarkable effects as the games mould shrank down into one or two easy-to-manage pages piles. So if you witness some huge game purges going on, do not be concerned; it's just the administrators cleaning up after POTR; needless to say they hate him for this. You all think about that before you next consider doing something useful; all you have to gain is the eternal hatred of every active administrator, although if you really want that, he has posted some ads looking for help. Also yes, this paper is aware that the image accompanying this story is of Sigmund Freud as opposed to a real scientist; this is not because we don't know who he is, but simply because POTR has issues. Facebook for a day By Chief Those of you who arrived at Uncyclopedia on the 16th of this month may have noticed that the main page looked like Facebook. We here at the UnSignpost certainly did; we were celebrating the inevitable salaries, dental plans and offices with swivel chairs that inevitably come with people who have money being in charge when Zombiebaron told us it was just a reskin, what a jerk. The page has received high praise from the community, especially those who were in it. The brains behind it (and we use the term brains loosely) were Zombiebaron and Lyrithya, who spent a great deal of their seemingly limitless free time working on it. This newspaper can only assume they were both living off other people's money and not paying tax at the time, because if they contributed anything to society then they would have been slumped in front of their TV's, miserable and alone, frittering away their time on earth like the rest of us. Did we mention that they are probably in the country illegally? As per this newspaper's policy of forgetting to ask people for quotes in case they say something worth writing, we have simply observed Lyrithya (from a safe distance) to find out her feelings on the reskin. Don't do this, for your own safety. All she does is eat Cheetos and whine. Zombiebaron has once again obliged us by simply saying "Zombiebaron" in response to any question our reporters ask. All joking aside, the reskin was superb and a lot of hard work went into its creation, and not just from the two users mentioned. Others were involved in some of the jokes, creativity and stuff. Check the reskin out in the main page history if you missed it, or you can check out all the main page reskins in the reskin archive.

Check out these pages! The PLS..... again Wikia r teh suxx0rz!!!11!!one!! HELP!! Check out the toilet! From our logs: 6:53, January 13, 2011 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Ihatethisbloodysite (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (we're not too fond of you either) 11:09, January 17, 2011 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Uncyclopedia Is Racist Towards Niggers (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (COON!!!!) 23:58, January 18, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.238.88.224 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (It's captain gaylord! Thank you for saving us!) 16:37, January 19, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.196.51.46 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (With a pottymouth like that Santa won't be bringing you any gifts this year) 18:58, January 19, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked ChíefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Fuck ChíefjusticeDS) 12:58, January 17, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.12.66.41 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (partly for vanity, partly for cyberbullying, partly just for being from Luton.) Biopic of the Week Anyone who has ever strode into the Uncyclopedia IRC channel is probably familiar with our user for this week. Not only does he seem to have been there since the dawn of time, but he never leaves the place. He is always there; he is to the IRC what lying is to politics, what dilithium crystals are to the starship Enterprise. Yes, this week it's finally time for a biopic on Olipro. Olipro has been here since... a very long time ago and is a great mystery to everyone; most people have no idea he is an administrator, most people have no idea that he considers a morning wasted if he hasn't called 5 people cockjockey by lunchtime. Olipro is one of those mysterious creatures who occasionally tinkers with important pages, occasionally drops by to tell his favourite users that they were born out of wedlock, and, if you rub the side of his magic lamp, occasionally produces pages of code to make the mining maintenance of the site easier. Chances are he has effected you in some way during your stay on Uncyclopedia, if not get yourself into the IRC and tell him that his username sucks balls; that way you are guaranteed the full, untainted Olipro experience. Newsroom UnTune of the week Middle-Aged Suburban White Guy Rap

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

1234 ~ 08:15, 20 January 2011

Would you mind

A few deletions needed. I'm starting a list at User:PuppyOnTheRadio/Sandbox. Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 05:41, Jan 21 2011 UTC

Oh, you might also be interested in the iPhone friendly version of the USP here Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 11:36, Jan 21 2011 UTC

And because I love to annoy you, these appear to be abandoned pages of a game that had it main page deleted previously. I'm not sure if that's the case or not. I'm happy to compress them into the one page, but I can't quite work out where it was supposed to start - you just appear to randomly be asking about a form. If you could have a look at them and decide on deletion or compression I'd appreciate it. Nominally Humane! some time Saturday, 12:21, Jan 22 2011 UTC

I'll delete them, the original start page was Unfunny jokes about bureaucracy which was a victim of VFD back in April 2007. Famine may have been trying to save it but never completed what he was doing, and I doubt he ever will now since he has left us and declared he is never coming back. Cheers for letting me know. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 12:28, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

Please, have mercy!

You recently marked the page Xiaolin Candysticks as not funny and placed it in the intensive care unit. I beg your forgiveness! This has been a collaborative effort between myself and other users, a lovechild of sorts, and in retrospect a throwback to all those warm/cold-hearted thrown-together teen films of the 80's. We're still working on it on a daily basis to keep it as fresh, sensible, and most importantly as funny as possible. And in retrospect, it could be a lot worse, no? =(

Sorry, forgot to sign.

Please give us more time to build it up to your standards! We can rebuild it. We have the technology. Repairmanman 22:54, January 23, 2011 (UTC)

You have 7 days to until a deletion decision has to be made, but if you keep editing it the clock will not run down, if the page is unedited for 7 days then justice will then take its true and impartial course depending on whether it meets our standards. Any further information can be found here. It's nothing against your writing, it's a way to ensure articles are finished and not left abandoned. One final point, sign your posts on talk pages with 4 tildes like this: ~~~~ --ChiefjusticeXBox360 22:51, January 23, 2011 (UTC)

My Game

My Game, 'The Cabal Conspiracy', has been ICU'd. I'm not complaining - the game is not all that great, really. But it is rather large. Can it be moved to by userspace instead of being deleted, because I'd like to keep it. That's all.-- (CUN) 01:03, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

The Cabal is scary. I've seen it. I've seen it! *flails and runs away* 1234 ~ 01:50, 24 January 2011

How many pages is "rather large"? If you're not too fussy about keeping the history of the pages I'm happy to have a look at condensing it for you, depending on size. But if you want it moved as is, then best off moving it yourself and listing the redirects created on Qvfd. (Sorry for butting in there, Chief).Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 02:46, Jan 24 2011 UTC

Can't admins move a single page and just tell it to move the subpages as well whilst suppressing the redirects, though? Seems like that might be a bit easier for everyone involved... O_o 1234 ~ 02:51, 24 January 2011

As far as I have been informed, no. They can move pages one at a time and not get move blocked, but otherwise it's the same deal as everyone else. I think they can suppress the creation of redirects though. My main issue though is if it's admittedly not a good game, covers a huge bundle of pages, and is already up for ICU, is it worth salvaging? Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 02:58, Jan 24 2011 UTC

They can definitely suppress the redirects... hells, rollback's enough for that, which... actually, why don't you have rollback, Puppy? You should get that. Go ask Mordillo, or something; I mean, if he'd give me rollback, he'd almost certainly oblige for you, what with your not being a raging lunatic, and all...

And if a fellow wants to preserve his own creation, he'd still want to do it, either way, I expect...

Anyhow, Chief, just what is the extent of your powers? Hmm? HMMM? 1234 ~ 03:16, 24 January 2011

I don't really want rollback. With great power comes great responsibility, and I am never responsible. And rather large should read as freaking huge!" Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 03:20, Jan 24 2011 UTC

What exactly is "rollback"? -- 03:37, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

It's when you're all drinking from the same bottle and someone drinks with their mouth open and allows some of the drink into their mouth and then let's some of it roll back out of their mouth and into the bottle. Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 03:42, Jan 24 2011 UTC

Puppy, you may get drunk, but you're definitely more responsible than I am... seriously, responsibility has nothing to do with anything here.

Rollback reverts the last edit(s) of the most recent editor on a page to the previous one. Useful against vandalism and such. 1234 ~ 03:50, 24 January 2011

I rarely get drunk. I just make sure when I do that everyone knows about it. Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 04:09, Jan 24 2011 UTC

You sir!

YOU HAVE MEDDLED IN MY AFFAIRS FOR THE LAST TIME, WHAT WITH FEATURING THE FEATURSQUE WHILE I WAS FEATURING YET ANOTHER FEATURESQUE. I DEMAND SATISFACTION. ~ 20:59, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED WHEN I WAITED ALL DAY FOR YOU TO DO IT AND YOU DID NOT?? I SPENT LITERALLY AGES WAITING, IT WAS SO BORING, I EXPECT A FULL REFUND. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 21:03, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

YOU SHALL HAVE YOUR REFUND IN A FORM OF MY BOOT UP YOUR ASS. IT SHALL BE COVERED IN BIG ENGLISHESQUE COINS WITH THE FACE OF THE MONARCH EMBEDDED IN THEM. ~ 21:06, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

And that was the start of the American civil war. Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 21:21, Jan 24 2011 UTC

Australia day

Hey boss. 26 January is Australia day, which means a day of celebrating something. I don't know what we celebrate, except maybe the [www.abc.net.au/triplej Hottest 100]. Given the recent tragedy I'd love to have a site banner for the day asking for donations. The best site I can find relating to donating is here, or if someone wants to set up or use a paypal account to gather donations I'd appreciate it muchly. Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 21:37, Jan 24 2011 UTC

I'm sure we could put something in the site notice, I'll put something in tomorrow evening and remove the current banners for a while. If you can't find another site for donations I'll use the one you mentioned above. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 21:57, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

I can make you an actual banner, if you want. Or are you hideously tired of my banners by now? 1234 ~ 22:07, 24 January 2011

Awww... I wanna make a site banner! I feel left out... Hmpf. -- 22:14, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

Making a banner would be splendid. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 22:27, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

But who's banner do you want!? I need to know!!! -- 22:29, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

Do you mean 'whose'? 1234 ~ 22:39, 24 January 2011

Um... Yeah that! I still need to know!!! -- 22:43, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

Anyone who makes one, if they are both good we can use <choose>. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 23:08, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

Ok. -- 23:35, January 24, 2011 (UTC)

There, I made one. I'll change the link when you tell me what the link we need to use is. If you want it to say some thing about Australia day, I'll change it. -- 02:38, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Probably a good idea to mention Australia, or the floods, or both. Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 03:21, Jan 25 2011 UTC

Both might be good... and my current on-top-of-thingsness is indicating that today may be another of those days I spend in a stupor subsequent to not sleeping subsequent to being up all night doing the coursework I should have done the previous week, so his may be all we'll have. O_o I still haven't started. In fact, I still haven't gotten off my lazy arse and gone home... uuurgh. 1234 ~ 03:31, 25 January 2011

Took me a while, because Paypal customer services manned by fungus, but the URL for donations via paypal (via me) is here. It's unencoded so anyone donating can choose whatever amount and descriptor they would like. Also, if anyone wants me to make public their donation just let me know via email and I'm happy to post it somewhere. Hope that makes sense - it seems the cheapest option for donating from OS and I can ensure that it actually goes to premiers fund which will then go directly to rebuilding. Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 12:46, Jan 25 2011 UTC

Okay, I can change it. -- 14:12, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

There, I made two more: number two, and number three. Use which ever one you like. I actually like number three better. I know number two is kinda ugly. But it's kinda hard to make a pretty template with Australia's colors. And as for that little lock, that is part of the link. I don't think there's any way to get rid of it. So... Yeah... -- 20:33, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

We have colours? How about relying on more Ockerisms like "Crikey, Bruce. It's a bit bloody damp. Have you got a shamwow the size of France at all?" Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 21:21, Jan 25 2011 UTC

Ha! I like it! I'll do that. -- 21:29, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Finish one! Then I'll put it up. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 21:41, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Number three is! -- 21:46, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Am I the only one who sees a big white space on the right hand side of number 3? --ChiefjusticeXBox360 21:50, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

I don't see it. But I just did something anyway, does that fix it? -- 21:54, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Kangaroo is tasty. --Black Flamingo 21:57, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

The image is too narrow... 1234 ~ 21:57, 25 January 2011

What? How so? I don't see it. -- 22:01, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

You have a smaller screen resolution, so you don't have the same visibility as others. And Kangaroo steak is better than bovine - less fat, more gamey, and less impact on the environment to raise and breed them. Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 22:16, Jan 25 2011 UTC

I totally agree... With the kangaroo thing, I mean. Although you're right about the image too. --Black Flamingo 22:20, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

You know what has even less impact? Catching and killing yaks. Really. Er, and I tried making one while most definitely actually paying attention to my class... of course I was. In unrelated news, my banner template utterly sucks. 1234 ~ 22:22, 25 January 2011

Guys, regarding the link to paypal, we know POTR, we know he's an Aussie and that he's ah...ahem...trustworthy. But if someone who doesn't know him clicks the banner and ends up with what looks to him as a random paypal account, I doubt he will donate it. So how about you either send a link to a formal Aussie fund (or international etc) or to a subpage in Puppy's space explaining the deal and giving all the links there? ~ 22:27, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, I was wondering about that... I rather like the subpage idea, properly explain just what's going on, and all that. Really properly. 1234 ~ 22:31, 25 January 2011

Okay, this is all fine and nice, but how do I make number three look good for everyone!?! -- 22:34, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Set up a background that blends into it, or have it fade into it... match up the colours. You can zoom out to see how well it looks for others. 1234 ~ 22:39, 25 January 2011

How do I do the fadey thing? -- 22:55, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

All of you silly Australians are forgetting something from here in Canada. IT'S WAYNE GRETZKY'S BIRTHDAY TOMORROW! -- 22:59, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Depends what fadey thing you're intending to do. In this case, just make the horizon of the black go to the bottom and set the background colour to match the sky. Real question is, why does Chief always wind up with these conversations on his talkpage? 1234 ~ 23:01, 25 January 2011

Wayne who? And I would rather people donated directly to the premier's fund, but it only allows international donations via bank transfer, which would mean too much in admin costs. I am busy patriotically barbecuing today, but if someone wants to create a page that gives all the options that would be brilliant! Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 23:08, Jan 25 2011 UTC

Sorry to ask for soo much help, but how do I make the horizon of the black go to the bottom? -- 23:30, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Puppy, are you on drugs? Wayne Gretzky, the best hockey player of all time! Holds like 60 NHL records! Ashamed. -- 23:34, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

Blocked vandal’s page

Can you delete this and this? -- Vox 00:04, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

That's not how it works. When a user is blocked infinitively, the template used for permeantly blocked users is put on their user page (I've already done this) and their talk page just sits there doing nothing ecept collecting dust.---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 00:12, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

Why Chief Why?

I was looking at the block log to see all the funny things n00bs do to get blocked (eg. blank pages, spam, etc.) I came across that you blocked The Oldest User Ever for no reason. He apparently is 131 years old, and was really nice to Aleister and I. Why, Chief? -- 23:36, January 25, 2011 (UTC)

I checked his contributions and did not see a single thing that he did wrong. As a matter of fact, everything he did was in a good matter. Unless this is a joke ban, why ban him? Perhaps you should explain this because me and Maniac Mcpee do not understand the reason behind his ban.---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 00:07, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

He is blocked because he is actually a sock of Maniac mcpee, this is also the reason Maniac is serving a 6 hour ban for coming here and lying to me about it. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 00:13, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

That son of a bitch! For a second there, I thought you were being unfair. I can't believe that I stood up for someone who was actually a sock of someone else.--   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 00:27, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

The Chief? Unfair? Noooooo! -- 00:33, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

He also use this sock to nominate himself for this and voted on one of his articles on VFH (I crossed them out). I don't know about you guys, but I really find this quite irritating. ---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 00:46, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

The old man was a better user than Maniac, maybe you can unblock him and let Maniac play his character from now on. lol. That would be justice, an arab or biblical kind of justice. Aleister 00:48 26-1-'11

Ha! Aleister, you're the best. Anyway, it wasn't his article (I maed a yuky doody), he just nominated it. Just saying. -- 00:52, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

Nominations are considered votes, otherwise why would you nominate something you won't vote for.---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 01:00, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

No, no, that's not what I was trying to say. What I was trying to say was it wasn't his article. At on point you said it was his article. -- 01:07, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, I see. Still, using a sock puppet to vote again is cheating and very unfair to the community.---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 01:46, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

Read this. --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 06:22, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

Okay Chief

Hitlerfish reminds you to focus on things just out of frame to the right.

There're ready: User:Magic man/donate3 User:Magic man/donate2. -- 02:34, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

You know what I said before about that one being hideous? If number two is that one, it's still hideous. I mean... ow... okay, maybe this monitor is a little bright in the reds, but... ow! 1234 ~ 03:07, 26 January 2011

Yeah... -- 03:09, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

Sorry, this monitor actually is pretty off, balance-wise... odd... although you should work on the composition of the thing. Seems a little like hitlerfish, except it's off-screen and to the left and a kangaroo, not a fish. 1234 ~ 03:18, 26 January 2011

Look now. -- 03:19, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

*shifty eyes* 1234 ~ 03:27, 26 January 2011

Ohh... -- 03:29, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

Now it's looking at the words. That makes sense, right? -- 03:36, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

Better, but... mon, you also can't just blow up a raster image to four times its usual size - it comes out all blurry and not good. 1234 ~ 05:46, 26 January 2011

You're right

It's completely borked. I had to do a really dirty manual workaround to get it to work. I'll check with sannse if they're still working or this is customized DPL, in which case we'll need to get Spang. I'll check with him too. ~ 11:07, January 26, 2011 (UTC)

Oh good, it's not just the stuff I put together using DPL that's suddenly gone hackneyed with no explanation. I have been looking at documentation on dpl, then lookin at my scripting, looking at results, and keep asking myself "Why is it suddenly all wrong?!?" Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 06:42, Jan 27 2011 UTC

Why? A Wizard Did It. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:42, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost! Wheeee!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

Jan 27th, 2011 • Issue 105 • Do not try this at home!

Awards and Voting Update By Chief As the Uncyclopedian voting season draws to a close, the UnSignpost is proud to have spent a full ten minutes looking at the scores on the award pages so you don't have to! Over on Writer of the Year Aleister in Chains has taken a lead of two points over Mhaille and Sog1970 who are tied in second place with 9 each. It looks as though WotY is set to be a real roller coaster thrill ride as the frontrunners approach the final furlong, looking to be the first to vault the pommel horse of victory and ultimately hit it out of the park for a triple 20 score of 180, all without potting the black... or getting knocked off their broomsticks. Meanwhile Uncyclopedian of the Year is interesting, if only to watch Uncyclopedians revelling in a completely non-gay celebration of how fantastic everyone else is, all except the leader, ironically, who this newspaper maintains is a work-shy wank-stain on the pants of life. RadicalX of the Year is a Zombiebaron appreciation party and he leads his nearest competitor by 7 points. The Top 10 articles of 2010 is almost finished and the leaders of the pack are becoming apparent, with Suddenly, Raccoons leading the pack and Gay whales in Darfur and A wizard did it tying for second place. There has been some comment on this positioning: mostly screams of horror that an article comprising 6 words could possibly competing for best article of the year, sighs of resignation as it inches closer to actually achieving that end and the snorting guffaws of the people voting for it as they accidentally eat the ends of their fingers while eating crisps and try to cross busy roads without looking. UnSignpost Disclaimer: All scores are correct at time of writing, if they change, as they inevitably will, why not look at it as a metaphor for our inability to understand the universe as it changes around us and leave this story alone? Panic, despair and anguish By Chief It was a fine day, and then Wikia came. They destroyed that which we hold dear, had the tenacity to upgrade the site, kidnapped our children after we refused to pay them for piping all the rats out of town, turned all our clocks backwards 3 hours and worst of all they turned Mordillo into a newt... but he got better. Yes, this week has seen another Wikia update, and our roving reporters have taken to the streets, in flak jackets naturally, to investigate the chaos currently engulfing Uncyclopedia, as people wake up to discover the changes to bits of the site they never used. First of all we stopped by the Village Dump, where the peasants are revolting, and some people are quite upset about the new changes. Chief among those people is Dexter111344, starter of the forum topic Technical difficulties with Wikimedia updates in January 2011; we didn't bother interviewing him as he looked quite mean, though this periodical does observe that Dexter has been protesting against regular bathing for some time now and nobody else really wants to talk to him. If you aren't Spang, Olipro or Lyrithya you won't have a clue what is going on, so we have condensed it down into a suitably stupid phrase just for you "Shit dun' got fucked up". From here we dropped by Wikia headquarters and, once we had obtained docking clearance and the shield on the forest moon was deactivated, we were able to speak to Grand Moff Sannse about the changes. "DPL has changed with the latest version of mediawiki, it will need tweaking" she explained, clearly oblivious to the fact our journalist doesn't know what all those words mean and thinks DPL stands for Dragons, Pixies and Lions. Sannse went on to say that the userbase will need to contribute in order to get things back to normal, as our interview concluded she pointed out that "Trousers aren't needed, just knowledge," which will come as a shock to the active userbase who have been turning up with neither for several years now. Stay classy, Uncyclopedia, and watch out for DPLs. If you find something that is badly broken and adversely effecting the running of the site as a whole then contact an administrator or an Imperial Stormtrooper member of wikia staff, and no, minor aesthetic changes don't count.

Check out these pages: Best of 2010 Candidates! Alone in the Dark Scraggle Salamander Jewish Cuisine A Brief History Of Hot Bitches In Leather Kicking Ass Little Adolf's School Report Regular K Bond Villain BIBLE! From our logs: 07:01, January 22, 2011 Zim ulator (Talk | contribs) blocked Iwillkillyou333 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Not being Zombiebaron: This is a joke ban. Anybody who says it's not is a fucking liar. Now, start updating scores when you vote, or I will never ban you again. Ever!) 18:23, January 20, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 209.68.85.254 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (He is not God. God would be wearing a hat 14:56, January 21, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.44.241.22 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Crazy for "but sex," apparently. And bans.) 14:57, January 21, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Sycamore (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 32 seconds ‎ (This Sycamore thinks he can just be "competent" and "Scottish". He'll have another think coming after I eat another jaffa cake.) 01:05, January 26, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked True mystery (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (YOU'RE A RIOT, TRUE MYSTERY, A REGULAR RIOT!!!!!!) Biopic of the Week Everybody likes magic; we here at the UnSignpost are firm believers in it as it delivers the periodical which you are currently perusing directly to your talk page every week! Brilliant stuff. The only person who likes magic more than we do is this week's user Magic man. He has even set up an award for the most magical user every month, because we are actually really short on silly awards like that. Besides that, Magic man has been a steady contributor to the site since June and has proved willing to help out where necessary; be it delivering the UnSignpost, frantically refreshing recent changes in search of creativity, sweeping, dusting, polishing and even writing articles. While he might not have penned thousands of featured articles, Magic man has proved to be helpful and more than willing to put in the hours, so by all means say hello to him and suggest he marry your sister when he has a free moment. Cajek Ban of the Week! 05:06, January 24, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (I am banning you because you edited Uncyclopedia) Newsroom UnTune of the week I Like Cats (The Other White Meat)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

1234 ~ 04:44, 27 January 2011

Scofield

Hi Chief. I saw a notice on Scofield's page that he has been blocked. This isn't a special plea for Scofield but I couldn't see what he had done to earn a ban. I can't see it on the logs. If it is there, just point me in the right direction and I will shut up! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:17, January 27, 2011 (UTC)

He has made an alternative template, if you place {{User:Scofield/Indefinitely Blocked User (Revised version)}} onto a page you will observe the result. He isn't blocked, if he were it would show on his userpage with the new update and in the block log. Hope that clears it up. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 16:39, January 27, 2011 (UTC)

Ok thanks Chief. Hmmm...funny thing to do, pretend you've been blocked. I wonder if he prints his own money in his parents' garage. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 16:56, January 27, 2011 (UTC)

How long

How long does it usually take to get an archive on your talk page? --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 22:01, January 27, 2011 (UTC)

I know you were asking the Chief, but I archived mine around sixty sections. Sorry Chief, I'll let you take over now. -- 22:03, January 27, 2011 (UTC)

I'll have 5 more sections on my talk, then it's archive time! Also, Chief...can I be on the UnSignpost staff? --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 05:32, January 28, 2011 (UTC)

Akon the (c)rapper

Akon the rapper, delete it now. Some IP adress made it. --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 05:48, January 28, 2011 (UTC)

You could just put it on UN:QVFD --~  12:58, January 28, 2011 (UTC)

Uncylopedia:Top 10

Hi Chief. Are the following four voters on this page socks? I only ask as they are not regulars and have only voted for one article on that page:-

• Tyler Boyd
• RMK 345
• Valdez
• 134.39.58.33

--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:09, January 28, 2011 (UTC)

Not my socks. Check the IP adress, it isn't mine. --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 07:24, January 28, 2011 (UTC)

Bit defensive aren't we? --Black Flamingo 10:11, January 28, 2011 (UTC)

Well, you would be too, if you were banned for six hours for making a sock and lying about it and being threatened by Chief that if you do it again he's going to ban you for two weeks! --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 17:45, January 28, 2011 (UTC)

He banned me for 28 hours for making several socks and threatened to ban me for a month each if I made any more. So... eh. Add the lying to him about it and whatnot, you really did get off easy, man. Relax. 1234 ~ 17:48, 28 January 2011

Yeah...and stop reminding it to us. --~  17:50, January 28, 2011 (UTC)

I remember that even Chief once had a sock kind of user. I remember it was something like ChìefjusticeDS. Am I wrong? Cat the Colourful 07:14, January 31, 2011

Complaining

On Pee Review, they told me to complain, so here I am. No, really, all I need to know is if your article didn;t appear on the "Current" section in Pee Review, should you just put it up again? --Mr.Soot Gremlin -Talk 12:33, January 28, 2011 (UTC)

Did you check the 'Reviewed' section? Once reviewed, they go there. Although if you just tried to make a new review request, I could go on at length about a lovely bug Wikia has introduced in their latest update... 1234 ~ 17:58, 28 January 2011

This "Reviewed" section you speak of is void of me article. So, may I put it up again, or should I huddle up in the corner and cry? --Mr.Soot Gremlin -Talk 02:32, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

Easier to work out what's happening if you tell us what article was being put up for review. Nominally Humane! some time

Or even specifically that you did put up a new request, but aye. 1234 ~ 03:14, 29 January 2011

Wait... I think I get it now. When I type in a new Pee Review request, it doesn't put down the Pee Review menu or the Pee Review table on the new page. That's what messed it up, I'm guessing. If you want to know, the article was UnPoetia:Hobbits Are Not Gay. --Mr.Soot Gremlin -Talk 03:47, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

I can put it up for review for you if you want. -- 03:50, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

Ah, yes... Wikia broke the thing for making them - need to manually force the page titles. Some people know how to work around that, some don't, and all in all it's excessively silly. I made your request here by manually typing in the rest of the page title in part of the URL, so if that means anything to you, you should be able to do that in the future if they don't fix it. If not, give Magic man a call; he seems bored. *whistles innocently* 1234 ~ 04:45, 29 January 2011

Yes, Magic man does seem bored. I think that happens to him alot... Getting bored that is... -- 14:27, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

Because I'm so nice

<createbox>

type=create
prefix=Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/
preload=Template:New_Pee
editintro=Template:Pee_Edit
width=25
buttonlabel=Create entry
</createbox>

They renamed them... oh, blimey... o__o 1234 ~ 05:18, 29 January 2011

Oh, bloody hell... and it was the opposite on ?pedia, with the exact opposite bug... now I feel like a complete moron. Thank you, PotR, for yet again putting the rest of us to shame. Now Chief or some other poor admin can go around updating all the thingies... eek. 1234 ~ 05:27, 29 January 2011

Soomeone need to have a chat with Mediawiki about them changing their module names arbitrarily for no bloody reason. Thanks for the hint! I've fixed it on VFH, UnNews, VFP and the Village Dump (all 4 forums). I think I covered everything, any other places you can think of? ~ 12:24, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

We technical writers change the names of things all the time to make them more descriptive. Preferably before any real customer has started using them. The real question is not why they created CREATEBOX but, given that they left INPUTBOX there for compatibility, why they changed what it did. Spıke ¬ 13:58 29-Jan-11

I've done the one on Pee Review because I'm creative that way. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 14:02, January 29, 2011 (UTC)

Wow, SPIKE used a double indent. Actually from the way I read it createbox was written and then inputbox was updated to incorporate the functionality of createbox, and then in subsequent updates to mediawiki the create aspect of input box stopped working, but was fixed in even later updates, but the functionality of the createbox was unaffected, but the create aspect of inputbox was fixed in even later versions of wikimedia. In short, te next time Wikia update the site it is likely that the issues with inputbox will be resolved, but at the moment createbox works, inputbox doesn't, and later on that may change. Which is also why ?pedia is having the exact opposite issue, and the next time they are upgraded they'll probably have the same issue we had. Simple really. Nominally Humane! some time

No, ?pedia is a version ahead, so if ?pedia is any indication, next update here, which one works will swap around again. Yay! 1234 ~ 21:46, 29 January 2011

Serves me right for not looking at who was a version ahead of who. Nominally Humane! some time

Totally. Plus, we're all still doomed. 1234 ~ 22:51, 29 January 2011

IRC ≠ Review

You of all people should know this. Talking about an article can very effectively to get to the roots of what one is intending to do with various aspects and details and whatnots, but it's fleeting. There's nothing to look back on, and usually doesn't cover the whole board, either. Joking aside, it ain't reviewing, not even close.

Anyhow, thanks to your lovely stunt with the review page, I had to put the actual review elsewhere. I hope you're happy. 1234 ~ 02:41, 30 January 2011

I recall the reason I protected the page was because of you. If you insist on behaving in a way that means I can't know what you are doing then the consequences may not suit. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 09:16, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

Ye-es, but I wouldn't seriously paste IRC logs into a review, mon... that was a joke, although if you were asking if what was on the review page was the joke, before on IRC, you could have used a little more context... and don't you know I'm really bad at making jokes? Is this a none-too-subtle attempt to get me to stop, or something?

Although shouldn't it matter more if Socky knows what I'm doing, anyhow, seeing as the review was for him? All you did was make it so nobody could review it in the meantime as well as kill part of the reason for the request... blargle, you're hopeless. 1234 ~ 16:19, 30 January 2011

The outcome is a regrettable side effect of my not being able to read minds, or discern a joke from sincerity when I cannot hear a person speaking. I also protected the review for such a time as to prevent you carrying out the action when I was offline. Perhaps it would be worth considering why no other regular reviewers end up in this situation despite having reviewed more articles for longer, in consideration you will find that which you seek, Confucius say. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 21:10, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

Wait, what action? Just what did you think I was going to do? O_o 1234 ~ 21:46, 30 January 2011

The question is what were you actually doing? If you don't know then how can I? --ChiefjusticeXBox360 21:52, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

Apparently writing a review... which makes absolutely no sense, given the context. Bloody hell, man, I'm sorry... I dunno why I get so crazy sometimes. 1234 ~ 21:58, 30 January 2011

Protection

Can you protect User:Maniac mcpee/Maniac of the Month/archive01, because it's an archive? --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 06:47, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

No, if anyone thinks it worthy of persistent vandalism then maybe, otherwise I see no benefit to protection. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 09:17, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

Further to that, since when do we protect archives? The only time a page is protected is when it's a vandalism magnet, and I don't recall any archive pages anywhere being protected. Even a lot of high risk pages are only protected against IPs and new accounts. If someone wants to edit a page they should be able to, and if they vandalize it then we revert it - simple as that. Nominally Humane! some time

Perhaps Mcpee has a concern similar to mine: I do not like having my Watchlist include hundreds of old UnNewses that are done, buried, and should never be edited. I proposed that they freeze after a while, as Forums do. But that idea failed spectacularly, and several people thought what I wanted was merely protection against Anons or against everyone. There's an argument to be made for having archives freeze; there is no point in ever editing an archive except to change the record of what was said for whatever political reason. But this is mostly a solution in search of a problem. Spıke ¬ 13:30 30-Jan-11

As you say SPIKE, this really is a solution to a problem that doesn't exist. It would be worth investigating if archives were constantly edited or regularly vandalised it would be worth discussion, but for now archives tend to be left alone so I don't see any reason to devote effort to putting a system in place to avoid the vandalism/editing of archives. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 13:37, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

Actually to freeze UnNews, or to create an archive template that protects the way forums do is extremely easy. That doesn't lock the page for editing, just makes it a little more difficult and discourages editing. UnNews is especially easy to do that with as it can be incorporated into the existing template with no major difficulty. But again, it's not a problem. I prefer to keep pages on watchlist that are rarely edited but I like to keep an eye on anyway. Nominally Humane! some time

Actually, having said that, all that needs to be done is drop the following code into archive template or UnNews template. Will freeze page after 7 days without edit.

<includeonly>{{#ifexpr:{{#expr:{{#time: U}} - {{#time: U | {{REVISIONTIMESTAMP}}}} }} > 604800|<div id="old-forum-warning"></div>__NOEDITSECTION__}}</includeonly>

Both those templates are protected so I can't add it in myself, but if you want to put it place that's all that's needed. Nominally Humane! some time

Maniac of the month

Hey. I've been as polite as I can here but I'm now getting rather frustrated. Maniac Mcpee has decided to create his own award called Maniac of the month. A few times he's been asked to let it slide due to there being no need for another award - by myself and Lyra, but he has gone ahead and pushed it to a point where he's is giving our awards. At one stage he was told that it was an ego thing and he argued that it could have been Maniac1075 giving it out, but he's now decided an award given by vote is actually from him. I did what I could to remove vanity (and ugly code) from the award but he has reverted me here. He constantly brags about his last ban, all the while trying to act like the victim, and in short he is becoming irritating, and I'm still not convinced that he doesn't have more socks around the place. Can you be a caring admin and get him to either back down politely or be given an involuntary extended leave of absence from the site, or otherwise tell me to butt out. Nominally Humane! some time

Let me sympathize. Uncyclopedia has recently acquired a Grue Army, a CIA, an FBI, and several user-granted awards. Mordillo has acted in one case I saw where a template might actively discourage production of content, but a lot of the rest of this stuff is an alternative to producing content. Several newbies seem to want to structure other users' interactions. Perhaps nothing more is needed than an authoritative reprise of the familiar, "Go write an article!" Spıke ¬ 04:47 31-Jan-11

I've read his articles and I don't want to encourage any more. I'm annoyed at the manipulating guidelines to create vanity stuff. Can't VFD or Qvfd as it's in namespace, and he's not adding it to mainspace, but by having others vote on it and then saying it's his award he's taking credit for a communal decision, which to me is pure VAIN. Nominally Humane! some time

I'm struggling to come up with something to say to him, possibly as it is early in the morning, but partly because the only thing I can find that he has done incorrectly is revert you on the award template. Otherwise the award, while unnecessary, is not forbidden and he is allowed to create it. I can't force anyone to edit the site in a particular way. As far as bragging about his ban is concerned, bully for him, I'm certainly unimpressed by it, and it will likely prevent users from trusting him for a considerable amount of time, if he is pleased with that then he can be. I'll have a quick word with him later on when I have a bit more time. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 08:14, January 31, 2011 (UTC)

All I'm after is a softly spoken word from someone with a big stick. My stick is big, but yours is HUGE. Nominally Humane! some time

Have you considered that giving the bloke more attention is just apt to feed that whateverlynotter? Because it could well be. Also, I get banned a whole lot more than he does, and some people still won't admit what a gobshite I am... bloody ridiculous. 1234 ~ 14:42, 31 January 2011

When Pup says, "I've read his articles and I don't want to encourage any more," I don't sympathize. The being-an-awful-writer part is not misconduct, though I have a long mental list of awful newbies, and we have always reacted with tolerance, reverts, and slow training. As the other Chief says: "despite all the courses in Personnel Management at Business School, we have utterly no clue which hack writer is suddenly going to blossom, or when."

Lyrithya, above, makes an excellent point that, in the case that this guy is looking for attention through unacceptable behavior, the attention of an Admin could be a big prize. But if he has hit a wall of unacceptability, an Admin should show him it is a solid wall. Spıke ¬ 15:41 31-Jan-11

There are plenty of user based awards around. Some better, some annoying. They are unnecessary but not something that need to be forcibly removed unless they pop up in the main space or interfere with the way things run around here. As long as it stays in his space, I don't see a reason for admins to get involved. ~ 16:32, January 31, 2011 (UTC)

Mordillo, this is my user conflict and minor policy discussion, go find your own! You horrible poo-pantsing, admin opping, user helping, article huffing FREAK! --ChiefjusticeXBox360 16:36, January 31, 2011 (UTC)

I can see how he could want attention, when I was still a noob I went through a similar stage (and don't you dare say anything about magician of the month, I'll kill you). But if it's boredom he has, the tell him to create a forum on BHOP, or do something from here. And as for his articles, even if he is a bad writer, it still passes the time. And without sock puppets. -- 19:48, January 31, 2011 (UTC)

Can I just point out, he can read this, and that regardless how anybody feels about his contributions or him as a person, we shouldn't be here being rude about him. If you haven't anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. This discussion is finished now, go and write an article the lot of you, it could be about how much <insert name here> sucks! --ChiefjusticeXBox360 20:04, January 31, 2011 (UTC)

You're all jealous because I won the award. HA HA! --~  20:07, January 31, 2011 (UTC)

Sorry - didn't intend to create a discussion about it. Nominally Humane! some time

Oh, sorry. Personally I've never read any of his articles. I have no idea what quality he writes. Sorry Chief, I'll stop talking now. -- 21:19, January 31, 2011 (UTC)

OH, HAHAHA. NOW YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MY AWARD. Who said I create attention to admins? And I never brag about being banned. All I brag about is creating two great articles: User:Maniac mcpee/The Gallery Of Uncyclopedia Art, and Fuck ChiefjusticeDS, although Lyrithya pretty much did the latter, I created it. I think Puppy's jealous. I have no idea where users got that "I create attention through unacceptable behaviour to attract admins". And I don't have any other socks around here. The old man was the only one. It's an award, guys. It's harmless. What's worse: having a personal award or blanking pages? --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 22:16, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, and I beat you guys to it: Fuck Maniac mcpee. --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 22:49, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Hey DS

You're doing a good job around here. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 04:54, January 31, 2011 (UTC)

Why thank you, you useless gobshite. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 16:20, January 31, 2011 (UTC)

Shouldn't the guy who forged half of those votes be the UGotY? On the other hand, he did seem to have a good reason for it... 1234 ~ 16:33, 31 January 2011

I know it hasn't been officially announced, but if by some weird, freakish chance you happen to close the voting on an award right at the exact moment it would make you a winner, congratulations. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:46, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Congratulations... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I'll rarely say this, but well-earned, mon. 1234 ~ 16:48, 1 February 2011

Very well earned, well done mate. Chips all around! --Black Flamingo 16:58, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

I'm no dunce.

Remember the Malleo talk page? I'll give you dunce. I'll [the following has been censored due to extreme language].

• tornado appears above head* A.J. Singer 22:18, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Six Day War (Video Game)

ChiefJusticeDS,

I'm sorry about not finishing my article. Could I please have a copy of my work?

If I were to finish this article on my own (like on Microsoft Word) could I still repost that article without it getting deleted? Provided it's good of course.

Speaking of which, what did you think of the article? I don't know how much you know the Six-Day War, but I was writing the whole thing with a textbook at my side, so it is factually accurate.

Thanks!

-Mrpastry909

I'm not sure how you could get me a copy. Maybe on my talk page? I'm not sure.

It's not a problem, a copy of your work is now here where you can edit it at your leisure without fear of it being deleted. When you are finished contact an administrator and tell them and they will make sure it won't be deleted when it is moved out of your userspace. The article itself isn't too bad just needs something more than subject matter to make it different from all the other game articles. If you have any other questions feel free to ask. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 07:57, February 2, 2011 (UTC)

Mass unprotection request

Please?

• User:Lyrithya/personal appeal/notice/template thing/stupid workaround/9
• User:Lyrithya/personal appeal/notice/template thing/stupid workaround/7
• User:Lyrithya/personal appeal/notice/template thing/stupid workaround/5
• User:Lyrithya/personal appeal/notice/template thing/stupid workaround/4
• User:Lyrithya/personal appeal/notice/template thing/stupid workaround/3
• User:Lyrithya/personal appeal/notice/template thing/stupid workaround/2
• User:Lyrithya/personal appeal/notice/template thing/stupid workaround/14
• User:Lyrithya/personal appeal/notice/template thing/stupid workaround/13
• User:Lyrithya/personal appeal/notice/template thing/stupid workaround/12
• User:Lyrithya/personal appeal/notice/template thing/stupid workaround/11
• User:Lyrithya/personal appeal/notice/template thing/stupid workaround/10
• User:Lyrithya/personal appeal/notice/template thing/stupid workaround/1
• User:Lyrithya/personal appeal/notice/gallery

If'n you do, I'd be much obliged. Thanks. 1234 ~ 16:53, 2 February 2011

Hey look!

It's another Nintendo DS game! MariokartDS 19:48, February 2, 2011 (UTC)

Valis77

Hey yo woah woah woah woah. This article is a mine for gold. People have cried over this one. Why delete it? This thing can actually get more people to come here and bitch because I created this.

Look, the original article was on ED, but ever since ED went soft, they deleted it. I thought about rehashing the article here as some sort of backup and hopefully it remains alive.

The man I wrote this article about is actually a sex offender who lives in Kansas and is a semi-famous gamer on youtube with the username ValisHD (he closed the old 77). He'll think he won if he gets word that the article on him was banned. Now, we don't want a criminal to savor any victories, don't we? Valis77 23:06, February 2, 2011 (UTC)

UN:VAIN with a small pinch of Nobody cares. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 23:14, February 2, 2011 (UTC)

Aw, c'mon, Chief! An article that didn't make the cut on ED? Why wouldn't we want that? Spıke ¬ 23:22 2-Feb-11

oh noes! We're letting a glory hunting gamer/sex offender win by not paying him any attention! Nominally Humane! some time 23:30, February 2, 2011 (UTC)

Congrats and quote

Just got back after a power outage stole my internet. Congrats on the Uncy of the year, a nice nice thing. About a quote, I don't know, I'll just wing it: "If the hundreds of voters who voted for me each tore the head off a mummy, then that'd be something. Thanks everyone, and seriously, all the people nommed for this award deserved it. The only reason I "won" was that I ass kissed my way to it, and the sweet taste in my mouth is reward enough for me. Thanks again!" There, that' good. Thanks Chief, Aleister 2:21 3-2-'11

Hold the presses! (Always wanted to say that). Due to a miscount based upon the ambiguity of my vote Al has not won alone, but is instead tied for second place with Sog, and there is no winner! Quickly, find someone named Chad and hang him! Nominally Humane! some time 02:32, February 3, 2011 (UTC)

Hang? Why not eviscerate? 1234 ~ 02:55, 3 February 2011

Puppy is correct, from a reading of his "vote" for me it was really a vote to change my signature, and not a vote for my character or sanity. So Sog, myself, and I believe Maniac1075 all had 12 votes, and thus share the UnCommon award. Chad and I have thrown a rope over the side of the ship and I believe Sog is climbing aboard. I call dibs on the MMX though. Aleister 4:32 3-2-'11

Responded on my talk page. ~ 23:12, February 3, 2011 (UTC)

The UnSignpost is now served with complimentary tacos.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now Delivered Trendily Late!

Feb 3rd, 2011 • Issue 106 • Can you feel the news melt?

Awards and the winners thereof By Chief Those of you who were rapt by the news from last issue were doubtless concerned by the news of Wikia updates, however life around the wiki appears to be proceeding as normal, albeit with more swearing and misery. Despite this last week being quite a slow one as far as news goes, the UnSignpost refuses to simply lie back and think of England. Our roving reporters have sat down with the yearly award winners to find out just how it feels to have no friends win a yearly award on Uncyclopedia! Our first stop was Zombiebaron, Potatochopper of the Year for 2010, and after turning down his offer of a plate of brains, we listened as he simply said "Zombiebaron Zombiebaron zombiebaron BRAINS!". Now accustomed to interviews with Zombiebaron, the UnSignpost had brought along former UotY winner and pretty lady Sockpuppet of an unregistered user to translate. According to Socky, Zombiebaron had this to say: "Well it's absolutely top hole, the chaps and chapettes singling me out for such a spiffing honour, really the whole venture is a jolly bit of sport which encourages the assertion that we must all pull together to make Uncyclopedia splendid and, of course, win the boat race. A glass of Iced tea anyone?" The UnSignpost suspects Socky made some of this up; everyone knows Zombiebaron hates Iced tea. Next we stealthily followed Aleister in Chains to work to find out just how he felt about being named Writer of the Year. He had this to say, to someone else: "Everyone nominated deserved the award. Seriously. It's like chopping a baby up bit by bit (dibs on the heart and some of the toes)," which means he is a whole 10% more stable than last years winner! It seems only fair that we should speak to Mhaille, repeat Writer of the Year loser and bureaucrat; he said, "I'd like to thank all the voters who for the fifth year running didn't get me a WOTY award and all the people who took time out from their busy schedule of not being on Uncyclopedia to come back and offer their support in our annual awards." What a splendid fellow. We here at the UnSignpost are all agreed that it takes real talent to lose as gracefully as Mhaille does. In an unprecedented turn of events, Useless Gobshite of the Year was jointly received by both Arsehole and Twattycake; Twattycake also picked up the Uncyclopedian of the Year award in a final evening of voting that will go down in history as having happened last weekend. We haven't asked them for quotes, though Twattycake did manage to say something about being incredibly grateful to everyone who voted for him. He then tried to consume our correspondent's "essence," so we haven't got anything more from him. The Top 10 of 2010 extravaganza also concluded with Suddenly, Raccoons taking the top spot, closely followed by A wizard did it, Filial Piety and Gay whales in Darfur. Mhaille, who won't stop following our journalists around, said "This years "Top" 10 shows once again that people of taste and infinite comedic writing talent must be found soon to stop this travesty from ever occurring again". The top ten extravaganza will continue for a while longer as each of the articles in the top 10 is once again highlighted on the front page. With that, Uncyclopedia's voting season draws to a close, leaving the UnSignpost bereft of filler material. Again. UnNews update By Zim After spending the last several months in a sensory deprivation tank, Reverend zim ulator has returned to his position at Uncyclopedia, though only on a part-time basis, the slacker. In his absence, SPIKE has been doing a great job of holding UnNews together. Kudos to him for a job well done, the slacker. There have been some grumblings about the UnNews podcast, more specifically the lack of updates since last summer. As of today, the podcast has been updated with UnNews' latest audios, dating back to January 24 2010. By the time this article is published, the list should stretch back to last August or so. Go check it out now; we'll wait. UnFunnies on UnNews main page are being changed again, after a hiatus. The cartoonist had been hospitalized with juxtaposition atrophy for the last several months, keeping him from his easel.

Check out these pages! Uncyclopedia MADE EASY!! I'm sorry! I can't hear you! This was a triumph Suck it! From our logs: 07:33, February 2, 2011 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.165.238.228 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Blanker: Take a week off. Get some air. Get a haircut. Go for a walk. Stop pissing me off.) 21:24, February 1, 2011 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Adsfsderaewfds (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (bzahahahahahahahwahahh. Very eloquent of you sir.) 23:07, January 29, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked RAHB (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Editing the wiki without due care, attention or care for my feelings, which you left in tatters as you departed leaving our song unfinished... I'm still not gay, that would be gay) 07:48, January 29, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 23 seconds ‎ (who the fuck are you, and what makes you think you can "write" an "article", eh?) 16:59, January 28, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.211.11.143 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Bad move - we lurve Asian women round here) 14:36, January 27, 2011 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10001 days ‎ (FU) Biopic Cop-out of the Week ChiefjusticeDS certainly is cool and worthy of a mention. Old school Featured Article New to Uncyclopedia? Have you had a look around and are wondering what to do? Why bother with all the glory of writing your own articles and having them featured? Why make useful contributions to other articles or help in the fight against vandalism? No. It's far more fun to beat other authors into the ground by telling them why their work sucks so much. Why not do a Pee Review, the last refuge of sexy cowards? The advantages to Peeing are wide and varied. For males, Pee Review can increase penis size, height, and even personal hygiene. For females improved breast shape along with better hair and more shoes are common side effects. Newsroom UnTune of the week I Will Possess Your Log Mordillo's musing of the Week "The Uncyclopedia community has disappointed me once more. Where else would you find an ungodly mishmash of the so called "top ten" as we have around here? Where else would an article about The Occult competes with an article about A Overview of the Wildlife in the Sahara, Gay Rights and Intercourse with Admins?. Even our great rival partner in crime cousin remote friend that other place makes sure to have some more consistency with their material. What have become of us? And then there are the Writer/Uncyclopedian/Schmuck/Whatever of the year. Enough to say that it's a waste of time. They're all sockpuppets of Mhaille by the end of the day. So, congratulations, Mhaille for your overall victory!" Reason to leave Uncyclopedia #873 You can't read. Random fact of the Week We have used all the custom userboxes the original designers of this periodical deemed to be safe, this is hardcore.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

1234 ~ 02:35, 3 February 2011

Quizzard as Vanity?

How exactly did the article you huffed (The Quizzard) be a vanity article? its main aim was to impugne those two clowns. And an encyclopedia is supposed to encompass anything new, isn't Codene's mom a contravention of that time honoured convention? & the 2 pictures you huffed were of the authors, also available on public domain. its well known in its own circles

Read the vanity policy and the beginners guide and understand. It has no entry on wikipedia, it isn't funny and the other admins I spoke to haven't heard of it and we aren't here to help you "impugn those two clowns". If you think there is any reason that it should remain in light of that then do get back to me. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 18:03, February 3, 2011 (UTC)

Subtlety is a form of humour in itself, if you haven't heard of it means that it just isn't mainstream yet, so what you're trying to say is that start ups or niche articles should be banned by virtue of their intrinsic characteristics? & Uncyclopedia bases itself on what wikipedia and wikipedia alone has? Its not meant to be a mirror site is it? & impugning those clowns was actually their words.

Did I say I wanted to argue the toss about what humour is or isn't? No, I said read our policies and understand them. As soon as quizzard makes it into a real encyclopaedia we'll be happy to accommodate it, until then it is vanity. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 18:15, February 3, 2011 (UTC)

SO if its on Wikipedia, only then can it be on Uncyclopedia? & humour is part of your policy.

You still aren't understanding or listening. Policy is as it is because every day we wade through hundreds of articles created about people and groups that nobody in the world has ever heard of. We delete them because they aren't funny to everyone, I read your article and I didn't laugh, that combined with its lack of notoriety lead to its deletion. We welcome humour about anything noteworthy, part of the way we guage that is whether wikipedia has heard of it. I have explained this now, three times. Your article is gone and it is staying that way. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 18:24, February 3, 2011 (UTC)

As a frequent voter on deletion of articles, I go to Wikipedia routinely to answer the question, "Is this article about something?

That an article is negative rather than positive means it is "cyberbullying" not "vanity," but the same principle holds. If the authors use the article as a vehicle to put their portrait on the site, that's vanity (also if the article were to contain external links to someone's blog). Any desire Uncyclopedians have of being trend-setters doesn't extend to "impugne" a person who is not, or not yet, a celebrity. A hidden strategy in contributing an article here is not "subtlety." Spıke ¬ 18:21 3-Feb-11

The article is a different perspective, the authors have put their pictures on the public domain, the link was to what it is about, & a hidden strategy involves a vested interest. This was borderline lack of interest.

Y 4 U delete UnNews:Barack Obama starts dating my ex girlfriend?

I's did lot of work on it, and ist not vain at all. The pictur of my ex-girlfriend is on her facebook page which makes it part of the pubic domain, and the only reason there's no wikipedia article on it is because they huffed it. But she is a real celeburty as she starred in Paint your wagon that our school performed and she was only 14 at the time. They hurfed this on Illogicopedia becauze their soft over there - they even allow a woman to be admin! You are violating my rite to free speech and destroying the very fabric of society by not allowing me to put this up qhereever I feil like. It's because of people like you that Osama bonladen is making the riots in Egypt. U SUCK! – Preceding unsigned comment added by 127.0.0.1 (talk • contribs)

You make a convincing case, I shall restore it immediately. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 20:46, February 3, 2011 (UTC)

Does the article even exist or what? Or did he type in the wrong link? --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 04:32, February 4, 2011 (UTC)

Since there are too many admins...

Could you, as one of them, be a dear and change some of the system messages back to how they were? This is supposed to be a parody of Wikipedia, after all. Isn't it? 1234 ~ 03:59, 4 February 2011

I need an admin to unlock some locked templates so I can fix them... they look like crap, really awful, and we're using them to perpetuate ICU. See Template:ICU/list (which I fixed) and Template:ICU/notfunny (not fixed) Thanks. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 04:24, 4 February 2011

You do realise those are subtemplates of the main {{ICU}} template, right? Of course they won't look so great by themselves, although I'd question your use of dotted borders in general.

Anyway, since they are what they are, I reverted most of it, as it looks worse inside an actual ICU. 1234 ~ 04:51, 4 February 2011

Because you're so fabulous...

Odd, don't think I've ever given anyone a ninjastar before...

On a completely unrelated note, I also wanted to ask you something completely unrelated to fabulousness. Namely, what's your response to this? Lurg (lurg). Lurg (lurg)? 1234 ~ 02:14, 6 February 2011

HAH!

Awesome user page, dude! Every time I think about it, my skin erupts in lesions. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 22:13, February 7, 2011 (UTC)

I find it strangely arousing myself. Pup 10:16 07 Feb '11

Why thank you Zim. Your user-page elicits pleasurable feelings from deep within my pants so the feeling is mutual... I think. Puppy meanwhile is welcome to find it strangely arousing but his user-page produces no such lustful feelings. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 22:20, February 7, 2011 (UTC)

Hey

Sorry about that BP thing. I didn't realize there were contributions I couldn't see. Anyway, it was actually kinda funny though, I didn't realize you had banned me until just a few minutes ago, and you banned me yesterday. So... Yeah... -- 18:08, February 8, 2011 (UTC)

This edition of the UnSignpost brought to you in two's complement...

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Won't Judge You!

Feb 10th, 2011 • Issue 107 • The newspaper that you should really sign up for and read on your own talk page

Surprise! By Chief Is this a bag of poo I see before me? Indeed it is, good sirs and questionable madams; surprising, isn't it?! See how we have magnificently crafted the title of the competition here? We used the word poo, so it's sophisticated and funny! Especially if we set it on fire! Yes, it is Poo Lit Surprise time and it has been since January the 18th! However the UnSignpost won't let being some 23 days late to the competition stop the relentless march of journalism. The competition has been hosted this time around by sexy Scot Sycamore. When asked about the competition, Sycamore told our reporter "Things have gone pretty well with PLS. I've enjoyed reading many of the entries, and the quality has been very impressive - hopefully we'll see some great features from some very good new and old writers". Now in light of these comments, you may be thinking, "There's a man with his head screwed on correctly, I must pop round to his house for tea and muffins next time I'm out on a jaunt round Scotland," but we implore you not to do this, because Sycamore is, to be frank, snooker-loopy. After saying the above, Sycamore began to remove his clothing while saying, "As far as my personal experience goes, it’s been a challenge here and there - with some people wanting stuff that’s simply not feasible, capricious judges or general oversight to make sure special Uncyclopedians aren't walking into walls or playing with their faeces (a risk with several contributors). Overall I think I've been great and any problems have been someone else’s fault.." At this point our interviewer fled, just before Sycamore could provide an answer to the age old question about what Scotsmen wear under their kilts. The competition is due to provide definitive results by the 13th, but the fierce intensity in the competition id rivalled only by Mordillo's intense desire not to do any judging until late March (he claims he has life issues) and Sockpuppet of an unregistered user's desire to avoid allocating a clear winner (he clearly has life issues). The UnSignpost would like to extend its congratulations to everyone who participated in the PLS; as we always say, every single one of you is a winner; it's just that most of you won't actually be winners. Big News! By Chief First, a confession: I have just lied to all of you; there is no big news to report. Just about everyone has gotten over the Wikia update frenzy of a few weeks ago, there are no big awards left to report on, no controversies or pregnancies, or indeed pregnancies or controversies. We, well, I say we; it's just me really - which makes the meetings and functions really dull- have thought and thought and thought about what to put in this space. Should we tell you about Socky's idea to have yet another chance to vote in case you weren't completely sick of voting by now? Or should we look for a part of the site that nobody edits much, like UnTunes or UnScripts? We were stumped until we hit upon the idea of reporting on how you are all bunch of slackers who haven't done anything interesting this week, and it's true, everyone except Sycamore has been happy to just plod along being vaguely useful, and the UnSignpost is here to tell you that this is entirely unacceptable. We see you every day, adding things to QVFD, patrolling Recent Changes, writing articles and generally hanging about the place being limber and stress free; your attitudes are what reduced Mordillo to the burnt out husk he is today. Not that this paper encourages drama or vandalism; we just want to see the wiki fall into rack and ruin and be there to chronicle every glorious second of it! As the flames leap high into the night sky, the UnSignpost would be there, finally making use of the flak jackets we were issued last summer. Think of the coverage! We could interview Wikia representatives in their bunker at the heart of Skynet! We could run messages across the darkened fields of open warfare to... Fredd's house, the heart of the Uncyclopedian resistance. Imagine the pictures: Olipro executed by Wikia for a particularly groundbreaking piece of code that actually works! Lyrithya brutally murdered in the dead of night by nobody in particular! Not using that fecking dog image we've been using since issue 2! So to conclude, there is no way for us to fill this space this week short of encouraging a violent revolution. We hope the lot of you are satisfied.

Check out these pages! Blatant liberal bias! Wikia r teh suxx0rz A man with a plan Need an idea? From our logs: 03:46, February 8, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Mexicanswithoutborders (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (I hereby diagnose you with xxXtreme gay syndrome) 20:15, February 7, 2011 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 41.35.199.74 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (See peace in the embrace of allah) 15:34, February 5, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 178.212.247.172 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Who are you people? Why do you keep turning up? Will you buy me some chips?) 12:06, February 3, 2011 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 83.14.194.82 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Take a step back and literally fuck your own face) 12:02, February 3, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 80.51.59.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Rabbinic intervention to stop you screwing Virgin Mary) 09:16, February 4, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 124.187.239.89 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (congratulations, you tripped our "predictable twat" alarm!) 20:51, February 3, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 165.234.184.39 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Hurrah for penis, it shall lead us to the promised land.... or was that Moses?) Biopic of the Week The time has come for us to talk about Syndrome. A splendid fellow, by all accounts; he has written stuff, he has reverted vandalism and is generally a splendid fellow, did I mention he is a splendid fellow? His approachability, fondness for muffins and the fact he thinks the admins are cool and sexy meant there was no competition when it came to deciding who should receive the honour of an UnSignpost biopic. The sad part, however, is that Syndrome is around less and less these days, and this just will not do. So here is what we shall do, we shall go out into the streets and we shall buy muffins, except the admins who will simply look cool and sexy as always, and we shall hold the muffins aloft until Syndrome gallops into view. It's foolproof! Word of the week, provided by: Mhaille Shandygaff Definition: (Noun) A large spoon used to clear drainpipes: "Pass me a ladder, a bucket and the Shandygaff" OR (less commonly) (Noun) A beer mixed with citrus-flavored soda, carbonated lemonade, ginger beer, ginger ale, or cider: "Make mine a Shandygaff" Newsroom UnTune of the week 7 Shits

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

1234 ~ 02:27, 10 February 2011

Umm

Noticed a typo on the main page, The 2010 Top Ten Madness: 1rd place should be The 2010 Top Ten Madness: 1st place Gen. Fudgem0bile No razor. Rip your pubes out. 01:12, February 11, 2011 (UTC)

rcmurphy did that on purpose, joker that he is. Not that that sort of swaparoo is odd 'round these parts... 1234 ~ 02:25, 11 February 2011

Since

I managed to get an Pee Review done in time, is it possible to lift my limit on the number of hours to do a review, especially since I apologized and followed with my promise of getting one done in time.---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 03:21, February 11, 2011 (UTC)

Oh No Not Her Again

Greetings Chiefie! How the hell are you? 'Field of Cloth of Gold' - stared at it for hours, all that happens is that it just makes me feel ill. Can I please delete it and start something else instead? -- (08:24 11/02/2011) (userohnogod--notagaintalk) 08:24, February 11, 2011 (UTC)

By all means, have a think about what you want to do and give me a shout if you need a hand. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 21:11, February 11, 2011 (UTC)

I should have thought this through

So I did a rewrite on Chemistry on my user page (here) so I was wondering if I should have an admin (like you) move it, or if I should just copy/paste the code into the original article. Thanks in advance. (talk) 23:40, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

I'd be a bit happier if you added a bit more content to the new one, the old one is very listy and I agree, needs replacing but a bit more in the new one would be nice. Consider getting it pee reviewed, make some changes based on that, then I'd be happy for you to replace the old one. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 18:45, February 13, 2011 (UTC)

I improved my rewrite a bit. If you still want me to get it pee reviewed I will, but I think I'm pretty much done with it. (I'm not looking for a feature or anything.) (talk) 23:58, February 14, 2011 (UTC)

I'm aware that you have much more important things to do than read my petty ramblings, but would you mind moving my article to main space and/or telling me how else you think it could be improved since it's been a few days now. (Yes, btw, run-on sentences are my specialty.) (talk) 00:27, February 17, 2011 (UTC)

This. (Minimalist - mine). Pup 12:41 17 Feb '11

Hey Chief

Can I have a copy of For Better or For Worse back? --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 05:25, February 13, 2011 (UTC)

Whats the magic word?---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 13:19, February 13, 2011 (UTC)

Done. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 18:37, February 13, 2011 (UTC)

Done is the magic word? I thought it was please? --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 21:12, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

No, I'm the magician here, I would know. The magic word is Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Everyone knows that. -- 21:17, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Excuse me

But I didn't realise that you were an admin on this site, I'm sorry. Still, I was surprised when part of the Tekken section got removed. Why did you completely remove them? I was only adding that data so then all Tekken characters would be on the article. If you don't like the descriptions, just edit them rather than remove them completely. *shrug* Can I place the T4-T6 rosters back, or wait until someone else does that? Thanks.

Oh and the banned part was surprising. I never got banned here for anything so.. it was a bit shocking tbh.

It's more that you are adding more lists to an article already plagued by lists. The sort of thing we are looking to achieve is done very well in Street Fighter, which you will notice adopts a very different style. I would be far happier if you were condensing the existing stuff down and then working on it from there. Satire written in prose has far more lasting appeal than standalone gags in lists, that was my main reason for reverting you. Also it is good practice not to revert anyone without attempting to speak with them first, if someone blatantly vandalizes your page fair enough, but if they are reverting an addition take it up with them and work something out before you revert otherwise you may end up edit warring. Feel free to place your rosters back, but could you please try and cut the lists down a little, I would find that a suitable compromise. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 21:16, February 13, 2011 (UTC)

• • Okay, thank you very much! I'll keep that in mind. I was aiming to post all characters from the rosters, but like you said it made the article look too chunky. Perhaps I'll remove those pointless characters (like Mokujin, Combot and Nancy# etc) and try to shorted other character's descriptions. I'll try to see how that will turn out. If things will remain chunky and the descriptions will not be that top knotch (at least that's how they feel to me) feel free to remove the Character section completely until some other guy makes a better character section for Tekken. Perhaps I'm doing it wrong after all, but I'll try my best. Again, thank you. Castell-Faber 22:17, February 13, 2011 (UTC)

Taking it to Castell's talk page. Pup 10:46 13 Feb '11

why did you huff my page?

i was working on a page didnt have a lot and i forgot to put the work in progress code can oyu un huff it please its my first page its called how to survive a zombie apocalypse please cheers --Webby790 11:43, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

If you realise you forgot the tag why are you unsure why it was deleted? Also you made this on the same day and I felt you had plenty to be getting on with. Also this has exactly the same text in it and you haven't edited it in almost a week. So no I won't restore that article, edit the other article you created ([[HowTo:Survive a nucleur holocaust|this one) as the text is exactly the same. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 12:52, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

sorry about that the page HowTo:Survive a nucleur holocaust i didnt want to do it since it got huffed and i didnt want to do someone else page the page i really want to do is how to:survive a zombie apocalypse if you could un huff or tell me if i can do the page then great also if i do a page on my user is it classed as a normal page or a page you can only see if your on my user message me back plzzz!! thanks also do you control a bot called lyrithia cause i thought that was an actually person is it a bot?? thanks again --Webby790 13:40, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

There you go: HowTo:Survive a zombie apocalypse. A page in userspace can be seen by anybody but isn't subject to any policies except the no cyberbullying one. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 13:45, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

so its a page now or a user page? --Webby790 13:48, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

It's a page, if it were a userpage it would have User:<insert name here>/ in front of it. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 14:15, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

ok thanks sooooo much for making it now i can make my first page!!! thanks again

I can't believe I fell for {{Username}} then. Pup 02:24 15 Feb '11

Webby790 seems like a kook. "i was working on a page didnt have a lot.....can oyu un huff it please its my first page". Please. My first edit got deleted. It was Bill Clinton. And I think it was actually Chief that reverted the edits. In fact my first article dosen't exist anymore, it was GOD 82,which was a game. --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 21:10, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

What's your input here Maniac? Or did you just turn up on my talk page to insult a new user? --ChiefjusticeXBox360 21:15, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Never mind. Since i'm here, i'm telling you that I am working on an article called A N00b's view of Uncyclopedia. It is about a n00b's view. I am doing research. Thank you. Cheers. --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 21:23, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Hey, Maniac! I can see your doodle! Pup 09:25 15 Feb '11

What? --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 22:41, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Just hassling a new-ish user for no particular reason. Pup 01:35 16 Feb '11

I've been here for 6 months, Puppy. --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 22:22, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Before my brain explodes

Celtic Ninja Star This person has done good deeds in the eyes of Sycamore

For helping me with PLS:-)--Sycamore (Talk) 16:17, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Any time good sir. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 21:17, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Lurg luuurg unsignpost luuuuurg

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

Feb 17th, 2011 • Issue 108 • The newspaper that won't be interrupted by some kind of nocturnal omniv-

Who are these people? By Chief That's right, this week, Uncyclopedia has seen several old people reappear and start editing with the best of us. The first to appear was Codeine, who appeared on the wiki after previously dropping by only every few weeks to revert the anniversary pages and bemoan the general state of things; our forecasters are currently unsure whether we will see a full resurgence of Codeine, but they are hopeful that levels will continue to rise until everyone is crushed beneath Codeine's massive... mixed metaphor. Rcmurphy has also joined the wiki and can be sighted wandering around on recent changes, asking silly questions and trying and failing to create articles; we asked our forecasters what they thought about Rcmurphy and the chances of him staying here, but apparently they don't care about "some noob". Anyone who has not had a chance to speak to either Codeine or Rcmurphy should head to their talk pages right now and ask about their Mum and offer to adopt them, respectively. Be gentle with these two aged Uncyclopedians; remember, everything was far simpler in their day. When they were your age, all of this was fields, Mordillo was happy, the servers frolicked in a Wikia free wonderland and you were still a glint in your Mother's eye. We were lucky enough not to sit down with Codeine, but can predict with frightening accuracy that he would have said "Would you like a mint imperial?" if we had. You can't actually sit down with Rcmurphy because he has lost his 'sitting down and giving quotes to the UnSignpost' glasses, so we don't have a proper quote from him either. We can live with this and so can you. Remember, if you edit hard and eat your greens, you too could be just like Codeine and Rcmurphy in a few short years; how awesome would that be?! Suddenly News! By Chief So it was, with a mixture of relief and apathy, that the top 10 extravaganza drew to a close and it was revealed to everyone with no knowledge of the chronology of numbers which article claimed the top spot. Suddenly, Raccoons joins Dragon Warrior, AAAAAAAAA!, Captain Obvious, You Are Dead and the awkward tie from 2008 in the grand cupboard of Uncyclopedia where it shall remain as an example of how to write an Uncyclopedia article. The UnSignpost refuses to congratulate Hyperbole for writing Uncyclopedia's favorite article three years running, since doing so would run contrary to our aim of ultimately crushing him with the futility of his own existence. Hyperbole: You suck. In other news, the PLS scores have been added up; anybody who has been peeking at the results page while it was being created should report to Uncyclopedia HQ for the customary 15 lashes of the cat (the same punishment for reading this periodical before it is delivered), but should also be aware that ties in the PLS are unacceptable - don't ask why; they just are - and any ties have been broken with the help of the Power Rangers tie-breaker judges. If this upsets you, then just remember that it is all Socky's fault. The UnSignpost will have a full rundown of the winners and losers next week. A quick word on the forums: Poo. That was fun wasn't it? The final item of news for you this week is that Zombiebaron, everybody's favourite flesh-devouring chocolate flavoured snack admin, has taken it upon himself to propose an image manipulation competition which appears to take a very strong lead from the PLS in that essentially it is the PLS, but with images, not articles. We asked Zombiebaron if this was correct. "Zombiebaron," he responded emphatically. So if you think you have what it takes to chop potatoes with the best of them, then this is the competition for you. The UnSignpost will be following this new competition as it attempts to take wing and head for the skies and will be there to chronicle its rise and equally will be there to gleefully report every crushing failure! You can follow the competition here; now go and prepare, chop chop! BEST JOKE EVER!

Check out these pages! Srs biznss Cat cat cat Awwww Seriously, fuck this guy From our logs: 04:15, February 12, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked Lairest (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Please read HTBFANJS: like mellow out, dude! peace and love and shit.) 14:52, February 11, 2011 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 207.74.26.175 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Cyberbullying is scientifically proven to be symptomatic of underdeveloped genitalia) 17:34, February 10, 2011 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 64.251.48.194 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Vandalism. Please grow up. Unless you're like a midget or something, in which case, grow out. Or round. Or down.) 20:50, February 9, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.139.210.211 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (I'm quite flattered by your huge man-crush on me. All I can say is take a number, get in line) 06:06, February 15, 2011 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (attending a college that rejected my application) Biopic of the Week: Aleister's mother's rotting skull A WIZARD DID IT It's fucking magical or something! Word of the week, provided by: RabbiTechno Schmekldekker Definition: (Noun) A Lithuanian shoe used for Morris Dancing: "I can't go to the Fête with you today Gunther for last night I split my Schmekldekker" OR (less commonly) (Noun) A Yiddish word for Condom: "I can't go to the Fête with you today Isaac for last night I split my Schmekldekker" Newsroom UnTune of the week Stinky Love Song

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

1234 ~ 06:14, 17 February 2011

Deleted Article

So, I'm not sure why, but my article History of the World: Part 2 got deleted. I remember something about it not having links but I fixed that and put them in there and it still got deleted. The article was crap anyways, but I was just wondering what I did wrong to get it deleted? --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)   04:31, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Could this be the end of Maniac mcpee?

Hey, Chief? Listen, I really don't like my username. Is there any way I can change it? Or will I have to just create a new account and close Mcpee? --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 05:00, February 19, 2011 (UTC)

Talk to staff, they're the fellas with the rights to do that. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 05:26, February 19, 2011 (UTC)

I've decided to close down Maniac mcpee after 6 months of going crazy. I'm not sure what my new account will be called, i'm still deciding. Oh, and tell Maniac1075 he won. --      Go Crazy Awards ~ Contribs ~ Gallery ~ Piglet 05:36, February 19, 2011 (UTC)

If he goes through with it, a feature about a user who spent the entire 6 months chatting up other people and agonizing about his name (whether or not that's true) would be good in UnSignpost. Spıke ¬ 14:09 19-Feb-11

Merry Christmas

I've delivered you're presents. Sorry so late, there was a queue on the M62. Father Christmas 12:25, February 19, 2011 (UTC)

Just so you don't get confused

I closed down Maniac mcpee, I don't use it anymore. Lollipop is not a sockpuppet. It is an account. A sockpuppet is when you use both accounts at the same time. Just letting you know that, so you don't get confused and ban me. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 15:48, February 20, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, Chief. Say, you want a cherry lollipop? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 23:41, February 20, 2011 (UTC)

Congratulations!

DJ Mixerr has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

I heard you have written 185 Pee Reviews and I wanted to congratulate you. You're almost on your way to winning the Outstanding Outhouse award! Congratulations! I'll congratulate you more when you write 200 or more Pee Reviews. Anyway, that's why I gave you a cookie. DJ Mixerr 23:51, February 20, 2011 (UTC) User:DJ Mixerr/sig

LeBron James

A quick check of the history may tell you that this article on the notorious basketball star deserves protection against Anons. The typical one merely wants to add something about his dick size. The same may apply to Delonte West, though here the speculation may be warranted as he is reportedly seeing LeBron's mother. Spıke ¬ 12:54 21-Feb-11

...Somebody! Somebody!

AAAA!!*heart beating fast* Chief! Thank god! I was on Encyclopedia Dramatica for some reason, and I typed in kitten huffing. There were no results, so I typed in "kittens". What came up made me almost vomit. Dammit, now i'm scared. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 22:16, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

Dont worry, all you need is a therapist. Luckily, I am a therapist.---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 22:25, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

I'll go on ED as Lollipop and make the whole place better and cleaner than a disturbing vanity site (in fact 12 people have died seeing those pictures). -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 22:28, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

I think the people on ED will seriously hate that. But that's what makes it a great idea.---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 22:32, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, wait. I forgot. I'm banned on ED for blanking userpages. I already showed them who's boss. And i'm ashamed of it too. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 22:53, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

So they do have standards.---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 01:23, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

I had two accounts: NiggerBob and Blue Nazi. And both of them are blocked. I got my revenge, and i'm not going back to ED. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 01:43, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

I decided to have a look at the article and... ...THAT WAS AWESOME! I loved every second of my glorious spewing. Is THAT why people use the site? - Another n00b 18:17, February 23, 2011 (UTC)

Please

Bring back The article where paragraph 1 is the work of a five year old girl, paragraph 2 is the work of a crotchety old man, and paragraph 3 resulted from a collaboration by a epileptic goat, a squid with Alzheimer's, and an emo kid. Please put it in my userspace. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 23:59, February 21, 2011 (UTC)

I was going to ask you if you were going to actually write content during this incarnation. Now I'm glad I didn't. Spıke ¬ 00:29 22-Feb-11

If you like. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 08:12, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

Pie

FYI--A revert war showed signs of breaking out here. Lyrithya defended my revert as a third party, with gentle advice for the new author, who will either take her to heart or commence to page-blanking of his own. Spıke ¬ 00:32 22-Feb-11

Me, gentle? You're so funny, oh, man, Spike, I love you... like... cheese. Cheese, all raining from the... the... er...

USP

Stuff. Press room. This. Thoughts? Pup 06:27 22 Feb '11

My impression is that it all seems helpful, your main stumbling block here will be explaining to me just how I make use of the new and improved system. As for the thing you have created for issue change every Thursday, if no issue is written for that week would that show a red link or simply keep the previous week's issue? But for the most part if it makes editing the thing easier then I wouldn't object to any changes being made. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 08:10, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

It works on the assumption that there will be an issue every week. I can add an ifexist statement as part of it - this means that if an issue doesn't exist it will simply look a week earlier, and if that doesn't exist then it redlinks. I don't want to do too many ifexists nested as it is what they refer to as an "expensive parser function." In fact I have used one on the page so far for the next issue, which basically says if an issue exists, then go to it, and if it doesn't then then create it. I'm thinking of changing that to remove the ifexist aspect, and that way it will create an issue if there isn't one, and if there is an issue then it will go to edit that. I'm also going to add an intro bit - similar to what happens when you create an UnNews. The rest of it though is actually really straight forward, but I haven't gotten around to writing up documentation for the various templates. It's on my list of things to do though. But at this stage I'm just trying to get it to a stage where you ony have to add in the articles and the biopic/check out/from logs stuff. I'm beginning to wonder if it wouldn't be better having the content created elsewhere and then all you need to do is transpose that into the main, but that's a thought for a later stage. Pup 10:04 22 Feb '11

If there ain't existance, why can't you just recurs it like Spang did with the featured article thing? 1234 ~ 15:57, 22 February 2011

FA thingy works on DPL, whereas this is working on parser functions. I don't know enough about DPL to be able to get away with it myself, assuming it's getawayable. Spang is still the expert at DPL usage. Pup 07:44 22 Feb '11

Hail Chief!!!

Greetings, Chief. Could you please put a "Registered Users Only" lock on THIS? If so, thank you, kindly. Cheers!--Funnybony    21:35, Feb 22

I'm sure we discussed that when you initially created the thing, show me persistent targeting for vandalism by non-registered users and I'll be more than happy to protect it, but I'm not satisfied that it needs it at the moment. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 22:33, February 22, 2011 (UTC)

Hacked?

Go to the navigation toolbox and click on "Recent changes" and "Village Dump". It's gone for some reason. All there is is coding. We might of been hacked. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 02:58, February 23, 2011 (UTC)

It's a wikia bug, it's been reported; we ain't been hacked. Probably. 1234 ~ 03:41, 23 February 2011

Yup; intermittently, everything from my Watchlist to UnNews dumps code. The code suggests that one of Wikia's servers has gone off-line. Spıke ¬ 03:45 23-Feb-11

Phew! What a relief! By the way, please put Paul ritter on QVFD, as I have to wait anoher day. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 03:43, February 23, 2011 (UTC)

While you're all here, what do you make of UnNews:Uncyclopedia Updating Ufaff? I'm not going to mercy-move it, as it is a complete work that nominally reads like news; but I don't understand a bit of it and don't think it's funny. The last time I read something like this, it was from a coworker who would go on to bring a sidearm to the office. Spıke ¬ 03:47 23-Feb-11

Spike, darling, this is another fellow's userpage; is it really the place for that? But my eyes glazed over at the title, if that tells you anything. 1234 ~ 04:27, 23 February 2011

I'd say you will just have to put up with it for now SPIKE, it isn't that horrendous and, after yesterday/today who is going to read it? I see no point in userspacing the thing other than to say to the author "This is shit". A friendly word of advice would be better I feel, so I would urge you to strongly the consider the word friendly if you do so. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 09:25, February 23, 2011 (UTC)

I often do, with all possible friendliness. This fellow, however, doesn't need help, at least not as to how to write an UnNews. I brought the discussion here in case the story's utter incoherence prompted CJDS to just huff it, but the second opinion (and third, as Lyrithya was posting here all the time) was all I needed. Actually, the subsequent story from Mrthejazz (UnNews:Egypt protests turn ridiculously violent)) is worse; it exists not to amuse but to amuse the author--both with shock value and by breaking the news canon. Spıke ¬ 12:49 24-Feb-11

UnSignnull pointer exception

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

Feb 24th, 2011 • Issue 109 • Just heat and serve!

Poo Aftermath By Chief We write on what is, for the UnSignpost, a very sad day. It is sad because the Poo Lit Surprise has concluded and thus, after this story, we will once again be bereft of material to fill the eternal white space which mocks us every time we begin a new issue. Nevertheless, we have resolved to wring the final droplets of news from the damp flannel of the PLS; it's easier than thinking, you see. After the ties and laziness of the judging process had been overcome, through the miracles of adding up and generally being unfair, Sycamore was finally able to reveal the winners to the world. As you would expect, the UnSignpost staff were all otherwise occupied while he was doing this, but have not only swung by the winners circle and spoken to the few contestants who don't yet have restraining orders against us but have also fetched the scores from the competition page thus saving you from the horrors of excessive reading once again. The winner of the coveted Best in show article rosette was BabyTV, written by the camera-shy Black flamingo11, who was just ecstatic about the win, we assume. Other winners were a noob for their noob article, and Guildensternenstein, who won the Best Alternate Namespace Article with another article; this no longer merits any congratulation as we have come to expect and demand this of him by now. The Best Illustrated Article category broke all known records by having only three entrants and then being unable to select one to triumph over the others; it was eventually decided that - since we edit in a corrupt aristocracy where the cabal secretly decides everything - the two admins would win together and Lyrithya could have the supreme honour of being runner up! Lyrithya was permitted this enviable honour for a second time in the Best Rewrite category where she and Black flamingo11 lost to Thekillerfroggy. The UnSignpost would, as is customary, like to offer its congratulations to all the contestants and its thanks to all the judges for ensuring that the competition failed to run smoothly; thanks also go to Sycamore for ruining running the whole thing. It's all going to end in tears By Him again Like the eviction notices that keep arriving at UnSignpost HQ, the imminent threat of terrorism drama has once again demonstrated that it is impossible to escape and this time our top scientists believe it could be deployed within 15 minutes to effect each and every one of us. The threat is now so real that Mordillo is thought to be, at this moment, appealing to Wikia for emergency powers to deal with the possible uprising! Repent! The end is nigh! Duck and cover! No, not really; while the spectre of remotely possible drama does indeed hang over our heads, there is no reason to stop drop and roll just yet, though this week tension has ramped up a notch as a proposal to change the rules of the mythical other form of VFS was raised in the forums. The idea was pioneered by Electrified mocha chinchilla who suggests that the present system is unfair and is calling for change. Hyperbole has also voiced his opposition to the present system by making it sound like we are editing in a slightly less humane version of Stalin's Russia, where the proles non-admins flit from doorway to doorway on stormy nights to write articles in secret, for they know this is when the administrators are surely distracted by dining lavishly on the finest sweetmeats Wikia can buy, all the while chortling about how much fun it is to have all the power. At least that's what Mhaille told our correspondent that Hyperbole was saying (he assured us he was Hyperbole's best friend). Rallied against change are the embittered power mad administrators who cling to power like limpets, notably among this group of despicable despots is the definitive despicable despot Mordillo and despicable definitive despot Rcmurphy. Olipro has taken advantage of the preoccupation with most of the active userbase in fighting to the death in the Ministry of Love to propose the locking of the sandbox talk page. What fun he must be at parties. The UnSignpost will continue to monitor the situation, but just remember, admin rights are just like haemorrhoids; sooner or later every arsehole gets them. Think about that.

Check out these pages! I have a massive hat! What do you call it? Don't forget this! From our logs: 14:19, February 21, 2011 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.191.71.173 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (God probably has most concern over man's inhumanity to his fellow man than fucking around on a comedy website) 07:40, February 21, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 76.89.143.221 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY) 09:27, February 23, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 63.228.102.161 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (You sound lovely, give me a big manly naked hug to celebrate your undeniable loveliness) 03:52, February 21, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked <insert name here> (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (you are banned, fucker!!!!!!!!!) HowTo of the Week (Courtesy POTR) HowTo:Join the UnSignpost First we need to get police clearance for you. This requires 100 points of ID. Due to recent regulatory changes this means you will need to post original copies of your birth certificate, passport, driver's license, a copy of a recent bank statement, and any pin numbers you have. Also, as you are no doubt aware, our editor in chief has had to flee the country due to persecution by his enemies. As an UnSignpost reporter you have to be resourceful so we are entrusting you to help us get the 40 million USD we have managed to hide from his enemies out of the country. This is a matter of life and death, and we are happy to give you 25% of this sum for your assistance. Please, do not tell anyone about this, as we cannot trust anyone with this secret. Send us your bank account details, and place 2,000 USD in the account immediately to cover banking costs. Oh, and we would like to get an idea of what your health status is, and that of your immediate family. Our doctors are experts in diagnosis via photo recognition, so send us as many photos as possible of yourself and all your family members naked. Welcome to the team! Word of the week, provided by: Sockpuppet of an unregistered user Guffaw Definition: (Noun) A small but highly vicious breed of Ferret "Jonathan watched helplessly as the mad Scientist smeared his genitals with Jam and released a massive Guffaw" OR (less commonly) (Noun) A boisterous laugh: "Jonathan watched helplessly as the mad Scientist smeared his genitals with Syrup and released a massive Guffaw" Newsroom UnTune of the week Be Gay

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

1234 ~ 07:43, 24 February 2011

Re your fear

You deleted a page:

"You should consider whether it is appropriate to continue editing this page. The deletion and move log for this page are provided here for convenience:

19:45, February 17, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) huffed "User talk:212.219.249.5" ‎ (IP talk page, no longer needed)"

It should've been left on so people could see what a pompous fascist sycamore is. and how he's vandalising the site and harrssing people. WHAT YOU SO SCARED OF?

You need to consider wether you should be editing here as u don't have the basic knowhow. Your page causes the system to seize up. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 212.219.249.5 (talk • contribs)

Since ChiefJustice is one of the site's administrators - and one of the most active, at that - it would appear that he does have the basic know-how. Also, his page doesn't cause my system to seize up. Maybe your computer's a bit, well, rubbish? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:44, February 25, 2011 (UTC)

Mine neither, and if anyone's system should crash, it's this old thing. The animated GIFs do make it creak loudly as they splatter onto my tiny screen, but nothing worse happens. Spıke ¬ 18:04 25-Feb-11

It caused mine to seize up last time I took my oldest machine here... granted, I was also delivering 60ish UnSignposts at the same time, which probably had more to do with it than anything else. 1234 ~ 18:10, 25 February 2011

I hate to say this, but Knobby McKnobKnob has a point. Mediawiki frowns on pages in excess of 32Kb as it puts strain on the servers. This page does tend to cause my phone to drag it's knuckles - especially when I'm not in a 3G network area. Might be time to archive. Pup 02:51 26 Feb '11

why?

did you delete my page can you please explain? 92.28.37.10 17:19, February 25, 2011 (UTC)

where's my sig gone? 92.28.37.10 17:21, February 25, 2011 (UTC)

Er ok I was trying to write a funny article and now it's been deleted just as I was getting started. 92.28.37.10 17:23, February 25, 2011 (UTC)

Ok forgot the sig I just forgot to log in lol 17:24, February 25, 2011 (UTC)

Ok I created a draft insteadGOSH! 17:38, February 25, 2011 (UTC)

Short articles that are left incomplete in mainspace are candidates for speedy deletion by administrators. I apologise if I deleted something you were intending to work on further. I see you have recreated the article in your userspace so I don't need to restore the original. My advice would be read the beginner's guide so you understand our policies regarding deletion. Otherwise I hope you enjoy editing Uncyclopedia. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 19:52, February 25, 2011 (UTC)

Forum:Vote: Put "Delete" before "Keep" in VFD

Among the dickery this proposal of mine prompted was a joke {{VFD}} nomination. It of course went nowhere but the template was never removed from the page. This Forum is closed but it is still showing up in the relevant Category because of this template, which should be removed. Thanks. Spıke ¬ 23:50 25-Feb-11

User talk:Bhind45

I communicated to this user that one of his articles wound up on VFD. He deleted my message, and has now done so again. If this is still frowned upon, I now defer to you to tell him so. Spıke ¬ 00:56 26-Feb-11

Er... You're complaining as someone deleted a message that was placed on their talk page? Didn't I... Nevermind. Pup 02:48 26 Feb '11

Meh, if they deleted it, at least it means they probably saw it. But... eh... yeah. Nevermind. 1234 ~ 03:06, 26 February 2011

I deleted a comment on my talkpage recently as it was put there to create drama - or at least that was my interpretation. I haven't read the comment in question here, but I have noticed that you tend to be a little dogmatic at tomes, Spike. It may be annoying, but maybe it's better to just let it go than create unneeded dramathons. Pup 03:24 26 Feb '11

As I deleted the recent broadcast by Shabidoo. MrN used to be adamant about not doing so. Managing any drama is why I dumped it in the Chief's lap. Spıke ¬ 13:31 26-Feb-11

Keep Off My Grass

Mind putting that on my userspace, User:Iwillkillyou333/Keep Off My Grass? Also, I would like a copy for UnBook:Andrew the Adventurer: In the Habitat of Girls. Just put it here UserIwillkillyou333/UnBook:Andrew the Adventurer: In the Habitat of Girls---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 18:14, February 26, 2011 (UTC)

sub pages

Chief, thanks for moving the scores page to the competition. Apreciated. Could you please move the sub pages there as well? It took me 1 hour to make them. --ShabiDOO 20:04, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

I can give you one back so you can copy it, but anyone who is making use of it needs to create a page in their own userspace for the competition. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 20:30, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

Chief, I need these pages centralised. I am not going to convince 15 contestants to put this on their user page, and it would be invaside to put it on their as well. However, 30 tables on one page would = editing conflicts and a mess. Why can I not create 15 temporary pages until the competition is over on my own user space!? It will take me at the very least half an hour to recreate all of those pages again. You have the tools to move them. --ShabiDOO 20:54, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

That would be fine too, my objection is with you using the forum space, you're running the competition, you can decide where all the pages go be it your userspace or that of the users participating. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 20:55, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

Okay. Rock and roll. I didnt realise that forum pages make problems in other ways. The PLS also had extra pages, but yeah, its no big deal in any way to have it on my userspace. If you have to tools, can you please move them to

user:shabidoo/happymonkeycometition/2011/username

it would be VERY appreciated. --ShabiDOO 21:00, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

Done. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 21:07, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks, but I cant believe Im going to have to recreate all of them again. Maybe I dont understand what your tools are like but cant you just move all 15 of them changing the root? They all have a different code etc... Its a long slow process to recreate them all. --ShabiDOO :::::::21:10, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

There you go. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 21:27, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

I kiss your feet and name my first adopted Romaian child after you! --ShabiDOO 21:44, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

And sorry for any dickery. Ironic, Im running a competition with strict non dickness and I let out a whipser of dickery trying to organise it. I appreciate you moving the pages, I saw that it did take you a bit. --ShabiDOO 21:18, February 28, 2011 (UTC)

Hey

Congratulations on Unicycle's opposite this week and I would like to ask a joke ban from you. Ban me with an expiry time of 10 minutes, with the reason given being "hurt a Bandersnatch with an anthropomorphic Lollipop". Why? I don't have a reason. - LOL vandalz

Thanks! I needed that for my crimes against Designer coats and Cornish Pasties - LOL vandalz

Um.................right?

About deleting Ivana Cum... What the hell is your point? and it was under construction too... Yeah... Admins and their power abuse... Jesus Christ.

"Wikipedia hasn't heard of you... neither have we." ~You

Yeah, Wikipedia also has articles on Pawnography and Flying Spaghetti Monster too, that must be why they haven't been deleted and are featured articles on UNCYCLOPEDIA... You know this is (Un)cyclopedia right?... all about misinformation ...this is the Joke site. Maybe you should visit People with distinguished names too.

Ever heard of a joke before? No? Not surprising, here are multiple definitions to help you grasp the idea of one, dear ChiefjusticeDS:

–noun

1. something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act: He tells very funny jokes. She played a joke on him.

2. something that is amusing or ridiculous, especially because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce: Their pretense of generosity is a joke. An officer with no ability to command is a joke.

3. a matter that need not be taken very seriously; trifling matter: The loss was no joke.

4. something that does not present the expected challenge; something very easy: The test was a joke for the whole class.

5. practical joke. –verb (used without object)

6. to speak or act in a playful or merry way: He was always joking with us.

7. to say something in fun or teasing rather than in earnest; be facetious: He didn't really mean it, he was only joking. –verb (used with object)

8. to subject to jokes; make fun of; tease.

9. to obtain by joking: The comedian joked coins from the audience.

Do Explain yourself sometime. You can't just delete people's work and justify it with a half-ass explanation. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 98.160.222.225 (talk • contribs)

I'm a terrible person and I don't have to explain anything to stupid/rude people. Read our policies or GTFO. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 00:08, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

Then what is User:Jacque grimhearse/Susie Cummings? Spıke ¬ 00:17 1-Mar-11

A word of advice to the IP. Make an account first. Then we'll not listen to your nonsense. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 00:25, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

This was pretty good writing, what I think. This was written in negative mind, but I laughed. (Were I the only one?) Like Lollipop said, get an user, now, because this IP-crap was much better than the IP-crap on ZB`s talk page. Get an user. Cat the Colourful (Feed Me!!!)Leave me alone... 06:14, March 1, 2011

Ah,

that thing you did, I thought voting closes at, you know, the stroke (ummmm, stroke). Would have stuck out my vote if given the chance. jus' sayin'. Aleister 00:38 1-3-'11

Spit it out man. If I don't know what it is you are talking about I can't subtly change anything without anyone realising. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 00:40, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

Too much of "The King's Speech". I meant the vote on Reviewer of the month, I was under the impression that all votes close at the stroke of 00:00 (UTC) or at least within seconds of the stroke of 00:00 (UTC), or is that a mistake on my part? Aleister 00:45 1-3-'11

RotM never ends in a tie, that is how it is and always has been, if the vote is undecided by the end of the month one of the captains chooses the winner, no it isn't fair at all. Anyway it doesn't seem right that we should be giving two established reviewers the award for a second time in a single month when there are some promising new users to give it to. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 00:50, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

Gotcha. I didn't know that. I'm still a noob in many ways, and this is one of them. Aleister 00:54 1-3-'11

Section 100 Wooooo

Anyway. Chemistry has been on pee review for a week and a half. I have also fixed it up a little since last time I asked...so could I get it moved to main space over this? (talk) 02:40, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

I'd suggest taking it to someone like Black flamingo and actually asking him to take a look. I'll try and get a proper look too if I can. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 09:14, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

Joke ban

I'd like a joke ban for 10 minutes and I want the reason to be "Had a sugar rush from too much lollipops. Needs to chill for a while.") Thanks. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 03:07, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

Never mind actually. I don't want one. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! 21:54, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

Um.................right? II

Well here I am, User:98.160.222.225.. Oh I meant User:Jacque Grimhearse! Terribly sorry for that small misunderstanding. Though if someone were to take my private page and make it a public page to be worked on by everyone because that person seems to think it's good enough, that's perfectly fine with me. In fact I'd find it flattering.

But is it so wrong to use multiple computers and be too lazy to sign in each time?

Don't discriminate against the lazy, we're people too .. like... Barbra Streisand... or Oprah Winfrey... well Ok BAD EXAMPLES but you get my point don't you? I bet you do because you're a... Smart, beautiful, talented human being with a lot of class, dignity and Self respect. I know your parents must be proud of you. <---(Meant it, no joke)

I L<3VE YOU vewy, vewy muches. --Jacque grimhearse 21:51, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

---

Side Note

...Could you please give me back the page me and my best fwiend worked on...? If you don't I'll...I'll...I'll ... Cry.

                             The page...  ...Ivana Cum...   Also, could you delete User:Jacque grimhearse/Susie Cummings?

I..I.. like your dress...

Would like to .. to.. to.. go to.. like.. gee... if like... would you like to go to the Undelete my page with me?

I bought you these today with all my allowance... they smell pretty just like you...so...so I bought them for you... like with all my allowance....because they're pretty.. like you... that's why I bought them... today... with all my allowance...

--Jacque grimhearse 23:09, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

Might want to wait more than 2 hours for him to respond. Just a little advice since most of the admins are tremendous douche bags (talk) 23:16, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

Seriously.....

.... I can't take all the pink anymore! Every time I see your sig I think it's Lyrithya or Ethine. I swear to all that's manufactured in Taiwan that I will strangle a baby rabbit if you don't change something soon! Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!! --—John Lydon 17:52, March 2, 2011 (UTC)

But neither I nor Ethine have pink signatures... Lydon, you're probably thinking of Prettiestpretty. 1234 ~ 17:54, 2 March 2011

Whose?

~ 19:40, March 2, 2011 (UTC)

Special Cases, I'd bet my trousers. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 19:46, March 2, 2011 (UTC)

You're not wearing any. ~ 19:50, March 2, 2011 (UTC)

*gives Chief back his trousers* 1234 ~ 20:01, 2 March 2011

I think I'm happy

I kinda like what you did with deleting what I asked for and re-naming the page how I wanted it. I'm pretty sure you deleted it in the first place because it was supposedly vain, but I still don't see how, But none of that matters now!

I'll do my best to un-vain, un-self-promote and funnierizate my article before I try to make it go public.

Yer pretty cool, thanks Sincerely --Jacque grimhearse 01:46, March 3, 2011 (UTC)

All the UnSignpost you ever wanted

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

STOP... SIGNPOST TIME!!

March 3rd, 2011 • Issue 110 • Be sure to listen carefully for the Satanic messages!

Hip Hop Admin Master Mixer By Chief Yes, that's right, it's all here: votes for temporary adminship. Two things that are immediately noticeable to those looking at forum is that the community is divided and that it isn't funny at all. Even the permanently enthusiastic joke Dolphins kept in the dream filled creativity lake outside UnSignpost HQ are struggling to provide any inspiration for jokes to be made on this subject, and reading the forums pertaining to this is about as funny as having a brick thrown in your face only to wake up and discover there is a gas bill tied to it. That is why the UnSignpost refuses to make any mention of it again ever. The UnSignpost would instead like to draw your attention to this picture of a Dog dressed as a Lobster, and feels that there is greater allegorical significance to it than is immediately apparent. To help us out we spent a huge amount of money that we just found on getting an interview with Professor Oswald that ends wald who has spent his life studying stuff! We were permitted to observe as he perused the picture, occasionally sniffing our correspondent's hair and twitching. After falling over twice and arguing with a nearby desk fan, the professor mused: "If there's one thing your average sweet old lady really likes, it's a damn good row over a few pence..." and from looking at the picture, the UnSignpost can certainly see how he came to this conclusion; if you can't, then you aren't looking hard enough. Our reporter watched in fascination as the Professor stumbled around the room and appeared to develop his prior assertion: "The other things old ladies enjoy are drinking sherry and racism." Truly thought-provoking. The professor finally stood swaying in front of the picture and his eyes seemed to clear in a glorious moment of clarity. "Fuck me, that's an ugly Dog!" he proclaimed before collapsing into a heap on the floor. Got an opinion on everything but no knowledge of anything? Be an UnSignpost authority on nothing! Contact recruitment today! Pooper scoopers and General stuff By Chief Poo. Yes, poo. It's the Dilithium crystal equivalent for Uncyclopedia in that the place couldn't work without it, but nobody is quite sure why. Unlike taking the piss, taking the Poop is a job that not just anyone can do, and the poopsmiths are the chosen few who are permitted to archive the important pages; this reduces the number of plastic bags bans handed out to innocent noobs just trying to help out by power crazed administrators, thus meaning Uncyclopedia is 30% greener! Incidentally, this issue of the UnSignpost is brought to you entirely through the miracle of recycled pixels! Feel free to reuse them later! This week has seen a new Poopsmith appointed to the order, Lyrithya. When asked to comment on this, she said, "It makes me feel as though a great gong has sounded in my loins," which at least demonstrates the appropriate mindset for the job. In other news, the Earth continued to orbit the Sun and through the unrelenting march of time another month has ended and the monthly awards duly dished out to people who don't deserve them. Socky took Writer of the Month, something which has left him as cheerful as can be (we assume), Black flamingo11 took Uncyclopedian of the month, something which as left him pleased as punch (we assume) and new fellow Rpm snatched Noob of the Month from under Rcmurphy's nose, something which has left them respectively pleased and miserable (we assume). Finally; Uncyclopedians have been sharing their pathetic stories of how they came to edit the site. It's all undeniably homosexual, especially the parts concerning supposed women. The UnSignpost editorial team certainly won't be contributing to Uncyclopedia's very own Princess Diaries; we came to be here in the normal way: an accident involving a van, a tin of baked beans, a large vat of sherbet and 50,000 volts of direct current.

Check out these pages! Roman Dog Bird So many words... More words Jack Phoenix is sexy From our logs: 13:05, March 1, 2011 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 172.162.2.75 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Garfield fan + AOL user = epic faggot) 21:14, March 1, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 minutes ‎ (if I'm gonna take a month of banning people, I might as well get one last fix. *click* ahhhh yeah - that's the stuff...) 08:13, February 28, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.97.154.170 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (I'm pretty sure you called yourself a "niggerfaggot" at one point so I'm not sure there is anything I can do to insult you further) 19:13, February 27, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.149.157.59 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Thank God you're here copy-and-paste-stuff-from-Wikipedia man!) 22:43, February 24, 2011 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked ChefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (ohai evil alter ego) 10:28, March 2, 2011 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.194.154.216 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (3 days for vandalising Uncyclopedia. 4 days for thinking he was vandalising Wikipedia.) Biopic of the Week What can we say about Mimo&maxus? Not a great deal, since all of our devoted research team is on a fact-finding mission to the Large Hadron Collider at CERN. However the editor demands that we say something, so here it is, all the information this journalist could dredge from his userpage. Mimo&maxus can allegedly potatochop, he likes trees, he likes goats and he was noob of the month back in the heady days of October last year. You can usually find him laughing and otherwise being unproductive, which is not his job; it is ours. So there you go, Mimo, the biopic you always wanted, with a picture of a goat for no extra charge. Word of the week, provided by: Olipro Toepassing Definition: (Noun) A popular dessert in the Netherlands. "Because of your splendid Toepassing, I am prepared to overlook the incident with the lorry-load of Penguins." OR (less commonly) (Noun) Dutch translation of the word Application: "Because of your splendid Toepassing, I am prepared to overlook the incident with the lorry-load of Clogs." Loser of the week Under user; what does he mean by not being here?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

1234 ~ 16:06, 3 March 2011

Noob!

You're a noob! --Noob! 09:47, March 4, 2011 (UTC)

Please delete

Miss Ohlsen.jpg - it's a waste of good pixels now. --Sog1970 16:35, March 6, 2011 (UTC)

How to solve a problem with cannons

Hi chiefjustice, im not sure how to talk on your page, i could use some advice ;)

how to solve the problem, with cannons ;)

well, for one, if u post something on my userpage, and i reply to that will you actually see it or is it more convenient to just post it here?

thanks! lockd

If you reply on your page I will be able to find it, don't worry about that. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 15:00, March 7, 2011 (UTC)

Hey I just noticed

Lyrithya is a bot owned by you, and you said this is a sockpuppet of Roman Dog Bird on Forum:I have a confession to make...., so you have 3 accounts and there all Admins! WTF!?!?!?

- LOL vandalz

Have you considered that some of us might be lying? I'm actually Dexter, remember? 1234 ~ 18:31, 7 March 2011

I didn't know that someone who was Useless Gobshite of the year could have 3 admin accounts. - LOL vandalz

You just said Chief was the one who had the three, though... he got that, too. But why do you think both Chief and Dexter got that, eh? Coincidence? I think not. 1234 ~ 19:29, 7 March 2011

Not to

Defend a article that isn't going to be featured anyway but Lucyfer's friend has a pee here (talk) 23:10, March 7, 2011 (UTC)

Found it myself 2 minutes later. Couldn't believe it had been reviewed and it was still being presented in such a sorry state. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 23:12, March 7, 2011 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia

Only allows silly shit for the personal gain of the Admin. Stupid fucking MEME's are A-Okay as long as they have no relevance to ANYTHING.

Nevermind though, HBGary was nothing. Yet you block a simple addition to your Webstupidity?

Dunno eh ChiefjusticeDS, maybe your herd of us? Please block our koala bears!

- We Are Anonymous.

Nobody cares. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 16:29, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Adopt me

Hey there! I'm a experienced user on Wikia but a n00b here. I need someone to help me find my feet (they aren't where I left them, the little buggers). Anyway, if you want to adopt and help me I'll be very grateful. Thanks! --B0B ^{Shitface • Newbie} 16:41, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

I'm happy to adopt you. Userboxes signifying that are unnecessary but can be found here if you want to use them. Feel free to ask me any questions you have or for any help/advice on writing you are doing. That said the first thing you should do is fix your sig so it is in a nice neat template and not spewing code all over the place; see here for guidelines and here for how to put it into a template. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 16:56, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Sure, I'll get right on that, and thanks! --B0B ^{Shitface • Zombie} 18:48, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Momma...help

Hey there Chief! Could you do me a massive favor? Could you just run through this article and tell me what you like and what you don't? I would really appreciate it. Thanks! ---I have a talking zombie 20:46, March 9, 2011 (UTC)

Battle for Disneyland is on Votes for Deletion right now. But space is about to be freed up. Spıke ¬ 20:58 9-Mar-11

I think some asshole stole my idea. Or visa versa. ---I have a talking zombie 21:01, March 9, 2011 (UTC)

Given that you are not going to play my game and ask whether I meant there is space for your article in mainspace or on VFD, I will tell you what I think of it.

1. But first, Chief adopting you meant he is willing to give you guidance, not necessarily review every word that flows out of your keyboard. The usual way of getting second opinions is to ask for a Pee Review.
2. Your article is of the genre we refer to as Wacky War. It is not that some asshole stole your idea. It is that a lot of assholes use this idea--of styling a comedy page as a description of a war or a battle. For it not to be trite, you must have an underlying comedy plan. Did you mean to make fun of Walt Disney's anti-Semitism? Okay. Then does it bother you that Justin Bieber wasn't born yet? It should. You can't make me laugh if you're distracting me with impossibility.
3. Technically, your article is better than that other one on VFD now, the Infobox is well-done, the graphic is well-done. But it's too long not to be divided into sections.
4. On the text, it becomes clear that the only point of this page is to use as many memes as you can. Bieber was just a portent; you've got Oprah, kitten huffing, Oscar Wilde, George Lucas--wait! Where's Chuck Norris and George W. Bush??? The point is, you don't get points for using each of these once on a page; you get points for writing a funny article, and most of these are just not funny any more, unless you make them funny, that is: unless you have a reason for using them.

Hope that helps. Spıke ¬ 21:10 9-Mar-11

Ok, first off your concept is ok, it's a challenging concept to do well but I don't doubt that you can do it. The very first thing I would recommend is that you take a quick read-through HTBFANJS, just to give you an idea of the sort of thing that will get laughs and the sort of thing that has been done so often it makes regular users of the site bored beyond reason. The main thing I would suggest is that you try to ground your humour in something slightly more real, while some fiction is necessary since there never was "A Great Disney War" I would recommend that you try and keep it to a minimum.

Look at it this way rather than saying "Darth Vader was a Sith Lord who battled against your mum and Osama Bin Laden to control the galaxy" it is better to say "Darth Vader was a Sith Lord who fought Ewan McGregor and a small green puppet to control the galaxy" the second is better because it is closer to the truth and the reader can see why those characters have been used. What you are doing is just incorporating as many names as possible, and while that gets a quick laugh the first time you do it, it becomes tired when we reach the 6th or 7th time of doing it. What I recommend is that you take a look at something like this; look at what they are doing and use it for your article. As I say, your concept is good but the funny is still lacking, have a look at that article and HTBFANJS, try and come up with a suitable plan for your article before you start writing; decide what you want to happen and what you want people to laugh at.

I know there is quite a lot to think about here but don't get the impression your article is a dead-loss, my first was horrendous and still lurks on the site somewhere to my eternal shame, but you need to work at it. Remember that randomness is fine, but you need a coherent structure first. Hope that helps. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 21:12, March 9, 2011 (UTC)

Thanks guys. You people are FREAKING GREEK GODS OF AWESOMENESS very helpful. -I have a talking zombie 21:17, March 9, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost: March 10th, 2011

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now With 0 Trans Fat!

March 10th, 2011 • Issue 111 • Make mine a Shandygaff!

Temporary admins and temporary brains By Chief It's official - temporary Administrators have arrived on Uncyclopedia. After the frantic discussion and voting, several unlucky losers have been selected from amongst the great unwashed masses and made to shovel through a never-ending pile of manure for 6 hours a day, every day, as is the tradition. The Losers: Hyperbole, perhaps the most vocal critic of the old "regime": Hyperbole is now prowling the wiki with a banstick and the complete works of Karl Marx. Regrettably, Hyperbole has not been in IRC long enough for our editor to get a quote from him, so we have decided that when asked to comment, he said, "I feel like Moses, leading my people to the promised land," and we must say that he does look like Moses, except Moses probably wore more clothes and bathed more frequently. He was chosen because: The Cabal wishes him to suffer. Lyrithya, perhaps the most unsettlingly strange Uncyclopedian to ever wield a banstick (after Modusoperandi): Lyrithya is now prowling the wiki with a banstick and a large banana. Regrettably, Lyrithya has been in the IRC long enough for our editor to get a quote from her; when asked to comment she said, "The temporary admins all suck," and we must say that they do all suck; real admins probably wear more clothes and bathe more frequently. She was chosen because: She moans more than anyone else in the history of the human race and the Cabal wishes her to suffer. PuppyOnTheRadio, perhaps the most Australian Uncyclopedian to ever wield a banstick: PuppyOnTheRadio is now prowling the wiki with a banstick and <insert relevant Australian stereotype here>. Regrettably, PuppyOnTheRadio escaped from his bonds before our editor could extract a quote from him, so we have decided he said, "Crikey mates! This sheila ain't half crowded by ankle biting nongs!," and we must say that we would agree entirely if we knew what that means. He was chosen because: He is not a poofter and the Cabal wishes him to suffer. Sockpuppet of an unregistered user, perhaps the most active Uncyclopedian to ever wield a banstick: Socky is now prowling the wiki with a banstick and pair of cat ears. Regrettably, Socky destroyed the reactor core before our editor could authorise the destruction of Alderaan get a quote from him, so we decided he said, "THERE WILL BE BLOOD, I HAVE SEEN INTO THE SOUL OF THIS WIKI AND FOUND IT WANTING!" We couldn't agree more and hope he starts his destructive rampage in BHOP. He was chosen because: He r0xxorz our sox0rrz and the Cabal wishes him to suffer. The Winners: Rcmurphy, Under user, Codeine and Thekillerfroggy. The less said about them, the better. It returns By Chief The one hour writing competition, originally conceived by Dr. Skullthumper last year (details here) and the European version of the same, hosted by Mordillo shortly afterwards (details here), is returning to Uncyclopedia very shortly. While no firm date has yet been fixed for the competitions, investigative reporting reveals that it is being planned for later this month or early next month, or perhaps the month after that. You are urged to watch the forums and anticipate with mounting anticipation the announcement of a date for the competition. In other news: ChiefjusticeDS is the best admin of all time, it's snowing and Roman Dog Bird still sucks balls.

Check out these pages! Uncyclopedia is the Worst Uncyclopedia is the worst Uncyclopedians are the worst Hyperbole is the worst Modusoperandi is not the worst From our logs: 22:00, March 8, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.234.11.193 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (I'VE GOT A GIFT BASKET FOR YOU! IT CONTAINS PAIN... and chips!) 23:25, March 8, 2011 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a real fucking long time ‎ (Being Zombiebaron with impunity) 01:44, March 6, 2011 PuppyOnTheRadio (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.158.39.55 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ ("Basement dwelling nerds"? I'll have you know that, as soon as I finish the renovations, this basement will be a veritable ladies trap. Just like silence of the lambs.) 07:52, March 7, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 76.73.11.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (If you are an unpaid spambot, it might interest you to know that some people get paid to post spam. Why do you let your programmer exploit your rights as a worker? You should unionize.) 19:48, March 4, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) resurrected Olipro (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Don't listen to what Lyrithya says. She's worser than worst.) 09:46, March 4, 2011 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked Rajarshi316 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (You gonna do anything with that or what? Also, what the hell is it? You'll have to bear with me, I'm kind of a moron.) Biopic Admin of the Week RAHB has blown away all the competition this week by having the sexiest userpage. PuppyOnTheRadio didn't even come close! Word of the week, provided by: Lyrithya Groop Definition: (Noun) The Norse God of unfinished Salad. "Oh Groop I implore you, punish young Andríðr for his dinner related transgressions!" OR (less commonly) (Group) An Australian folk, R&B and rock band formed in 1964 in Melbourne, Australia: "Oh Groop I implore you, punish young Stephen for his music related transgressions!" Newsroom UnTune of the week We In Da Club SCROTUM

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 03:04, March 10, 2011 (UTC)