User talk:Ohnogodnotagain

♥♥♥ I love you. ♥♥♥

The reason for this being that I get to use this new and shiny template to say hi!! Yes, this does indeed mean I lied to you -- you smell and no one loves you. Anyways, you look like you could use a buddy. We're all good friends around here, so here's some important stuff to help you out!

WELCOME.

• Beginner's Guide - this has lots of really cool stuff in it. I think.
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your grandmother, your gay teachers, or your dog.
• How to Be Funny and Not Just Stupid - how to be loved, even though you smell bad, and occasionally experience the uncontrollable urge to dance to 80's music.

If for some reason you you still want to find out more, these will help a bunch!

• About Uncyclopedia and The Five Pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to Get Started Editing on Uncyclopedia
• Help Pages

One more thing! When you do stuff, remember to sign your name using four tildes or just that weird looking sign () button at the top of the little edit box thingy. Anyways, I've gotta go practice being a fairy princess. Love,  

Your question

Your review request was deleted by me as you had failed to link to an article and had instead written the article above the Pee review template. My advice is that you read all of the links given to you in the welcome message above before writing anything else and take a look at these articles to see what a finished article that can be reviewed should look like. Good luck. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 16:03, May 26, 2010 (UTC)

Writin' an Article

In the future, if you want to write something, you can always start working on it in your userspace, before you actually go and go and put in in the mainspace. To do that, click on this red link. When something is in your userspace, you have all the time you need to fill out your article with information, pictures, links, and categories. Love,  

They can see it or edit it, but no one would bother, really. It can't be deleted because it's in your userspace. Love,  

Welcome and stuff

I see you've been welcomed and talked to by two of the more reasonable people around here. That's too bad. It will give you no idea what jerks most of us are. So I'm here to grossly insult you. Here goes:

You are a poopy head!

Welcome. By the way, if you want to ask me something and don't mind me pretending like I know all the answers, here's a link to my talk page. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:26, May 31, 2010 (UTC)

Headers

You make a header on a page by putting two equal signs on both sides of what you want to say. For examples of this, just click the 'edit' header on your talk page, and check out what other people have done. This page might help you out. Love,  

Also see my respone here. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:23, May 31, 2010 (UTC)

Adoption

You wait for a noob to ask for adoption for 6 months and then two come along at once. I'd be happy to adopt you.

Your article isn't too bad at all, you have a reasonable grasp of what you are doing with it but it does need a bit more work. To start with I would suggest you try and decide exactly where you want your article to go as it feels somewhat direction-less at the moment. What I mean by that is that the jokes are good but it isn't always clear where you are going with them. Context is what you need, and lots of it, explain in more detail who these people are and where and when they are. You also want to make your article read in a way that makes it feel more connected. Take a look through some of the featured articles and look at the styles the authors use, compare what they are doing to what you are doing, and decide how you want your article to come across. My final piece of initial advice is that you should use HTBFANJS while you make your edits and make sure that you aren't verging away from the funny stuff. Stuff like this " Life at court could be monotonous. Sycophantic courtiers, jesters, embroidering, singing women…" is good and you should explore this kind of humour a bit more, whereas something like " Henry, under the impression that Kiltkilt was a ferret, refused his ministrations, and asked for a form to be filled in to banish Kiltkilt to the Tower Menagerie." is less good as it is a bit too random, I don't mean delete it, but simply cut down how random you are in single places as for some people random humour just isn't that funny. I hope this helps. Feel free to ask me anything else about uncyclopedia and editing. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 08:48, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

Read the filed of the cloth of gold article. I put a link in, in case you didn't know how yet (not that formatting is my thing.) Chief's advice is always worth following. Romartus is keen on history articles and would probably lend a hand, if you like. And he's never fussy if you revert an edit. --Sog1970 22:45, June 6, 2010 (UTC)

Links

To make a link to an existing Uncyc article you just put brackets around the word eg France, however if there is no page by that name it will appear as a red link (frowned upon) such as Welsh Guyana.

You can link to a wikipedia page by doing the following France - which is the following inside square brackets wikipedia:France| France.

You can link to a completely different page by doing the following Welsh Guyana - which is the following inside sqaure brackets France|Welsh Guyana

--Sog1970 07:33, June 7, 2010 (UTC)

Glad it was useful. I'm no expert on formatting, but if you get stuck with placing/sizing pictures or uploading them, let me know. Or ask Chief, obviously. --Sog1970 13:52, June 7, 2010 (UTC)

[[Image: queen and phillip t-shirt.jpg|left|200px|thumb|By 2005 it was clear that the Royal family's attempts to distance themselves from the death of Diana were not always working out as intended.)) but with two square brackets at the end will produce the one on the left, change to right or center to move it. Change the size by changing to 300px etc.

By 2005 it was clear that the Royal family's attempts to distance themselves from the death of Diana were not always working out as intended.

By 2005 it was clear that the Royal family's attempts to distance themselves from the death of Diana were not always working out as intended.

By 2005 it was clear that the Royal family's attempts to distance themselves from the death of Diana were not always working out as intended.

Uploading apicture is fairly straight forward. Save it to My Pictures (or wherever), press Upload a file, select it and you're there. The only thing it doesn't like is BMP (bitmap) images from Paint - but you can save those as JPG or PNG if you like.

If that makes no sense, just say. --Sog1970 22:20, June 7, 2010 (UTC)

Also, I placed a copy of your article here where no one will attempt to delete it until you finish it. leaving you free to decorate your user page with the usual shite we all expect from each other. Don't look at mine, it shows no imagination. --Sog1970 22:25, June 7, 2010 (UTC)

Further to what Sog said above I'll move the present version on your user page to the link he made above. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 07:26, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, thank you. I'll have a go with uploading photos later, the stuff from Sog1970 makes it much clearer. --Ohnogodnotagain 07:34, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

Structure of an article

I saw you were discussing this with the Chiefster. A quick rule of thumb - but by no means a gospel truth - is your intro should give your reader an idea of what you are talking about in a nutshell. Monitor has a really brief intro, but has been designed to say this is what you're going to be reading. Often at the end of an article you'll have a summary - which I try myself to make the punchline of what has come before. These are basic rules for writing an essay, and as such the basic outline for a serious article. Comedy works best by knowing what these rules are, and on occasion by breaking these rules. Hope that helps. Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 10:09, Jun 7 2010 UTC

Yes, I read your articles 'Alone in the Dark', "Amanda Palmer' and 'Carebears', and see what you mean.--Ohnogodnotagain 09:12, June 8, 2010 (UTC)

yay, you got pictures on cloth of gold. told you sonje knew what she was talking about. keep it up!--Sog1970 22:04, August 10, 2010 (UTC)

You deserve some sort of recognition for your progress...

So since your article isn't finished and you are too old for Noob of the Month, I would like to present you with this ninjastar for progressing beyond the initial obstacles of noobness:

Now go finish that article and make us all proud. --^Dame 00:38, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

The thing with the userboxes

I see what you're trying to do there. Like I said, a userbox is a template so you don't have to copy any of the actual stuff in the userbox to your page, just the link. So to get that temp userbox you just need to check what its link is in this case it is:

Temp	This is a template userbox, to create userboxes from. Anyone with it on his/her page is clearly just looking for an excuse to have more Userboxes.

You see, its just the name of the userbox between the squiggly brackets.
And the reason your cupcake pic isn't working is cause you forgot to add "Image:" before the "cupcakebadges.jpg". --^Dame 14:01, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

I'm Telling

I spent all day making this one of a kind, totally awesome award just for you and na-na-na-na-boo-boo is the thanks I get?! Oh, well, here's your special award anyways. Display it with pride.

Don't Cry! John Lydon thinks you did something good. Because of your efforts, you will not get beaten tonight.

Hey Sis

Just checking in on you. We really need to do something about your userpage. Spruce it up a bit and all that stuff. --—John Lydon 18:00, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

Big bruv, how I wish I could....but I'm just a child, and lack the necessary skills (sniff) x--Ohnogodnotagain 18:04, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

Just let me know what colors you like, (I should have paid more attention to you and I would know what colors you like, I know, I know) and I'll see if I can't throw a few ideas together.--—John Lydon 20:10, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

Hey Sis. Your new User Page is all done. You can have a look at it here. If you like it, I'll make it your userpage. If you don't like something or want something different, let me know and I'll change it. --—John Lydon 13:55, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

edit - I got impatient and moved it over. Let me know if you want something done differently. I tried to think like a girl (eeewwwwww cooties!). I hope it suits your needs. --—John Lydon 15:09, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

I'm glad you liked it. Just so you know, you can edit anything you want yourself. I just put the two articles under "Things I Like" as a kind of place holder. I'll write up some instructions and throw them into the source code for you so you'll know what you're doing. --—John Lydon 17:46, August 13, 2010 (UTC)

Hello

Hi I'm Yettie, your friendly neighbourhood hobo/dirty whore. Nice to meet you. You seem nice. Can you do summersaults? —FUCKFACE WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [17:06 14 August 2010]

Is this the part where we say "hi"? Should I say "hi" now, or wait a bit...? Um, HI!  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  14 Aug 2010 ~ 18:02 (UTC)

Shiver me timbers and splice the mains'l, I love your sig!--88.104.139.0 18:17, August 14, 2010 (UTC)

Hey! This is my hi! Sheesh! Barging in, all un-invited. Gawsh. —FUCKFACE WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [18:10 14 August 2010]

You talkin' to me? You talkin' to ME? Yes, I do somersaults.--88.104.139.0 18:17, August 14, 2010 (UTC)

Ahem...Is someone not signed in? —FUCKFACE WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [18:28 14 August 2010]

OOps!--Ohnogodnotagain 18:36, August 14, 2010 (UTC)

I thought something didn't look right. Why does it do that? What are those numbers? What are they?--Ohnogodnotagain 18:38, August 14, 2010 (UTC)

Your IP address. A code (although it can - and usually does - change every now and again) that identifies the computer you are at. It's serious internet business. You don't appear to have a custom sig. Would you like a custom sig? —FUCKFACE WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [19:04 14 August 2010]

Would I like a custom sig? I'd love a custom sig! Can you do custom sigs?--Ohnogodnotagain 19:08, August 14, 2010 (UTC)

p.s. Yettie, look at all your badges and awards and ninja stars and stuff! Wow! I love badges. I want badges. I'm going to get badges. For doing awsome stuff. Soon. Eventually, that is.--Ohnogodnotagain 19:19, August 14, 2010 (UTC)

I can definitely do custom sigs. Do you want to be taught how to do it? Or do you want me to do it for you. (My formatting guide can be found here and a guide to making sigs can be found here). A custom sig should be created here. If you want me to just do it then I'd be more than willing to. And, don't we all love badges? I just love shiny things. Work hard, write funny, sell your body at the right price and they may be yours too! And by the way, I feel I should inform you of the practice of "whoring" which is very much looked down upon in the Uncyclopedia world (you may already have come across this). The process involves linking articles you have written or the like and asking/getting/forcing people to look at them and even getting people to vote on your article. See there was an example of whoring...Dear God do not click the links otherwise I will have whored myself to you! —FUCKFACE WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [21:16 14 August 2010]

Review Questions

A review is just a way for authors to get suggestions on how to improve their article. Scores serve no purpose other than helping the author pinpoint what they need to work on. Regardless of the outcome of the review, your article will remain intact. No one is going to huff it during the review process. Since your article is still in your user space, you're pretty much free to work on it at will without fear of huffing. The next step after the review is complete is to read the review and take time to really go over the suggestions in it. Use the criticism offered to improve your existing article. When you get to a point where you feel like you've used all the advice you can from the review, you can have it reviewed again. To put it plainly, Pee Review is not a contest or competition. It's solely for the purpose of helping the author by giving them another set of eyes. --—John Lydon 17:29, August 14, 2010 (UTC)

How do you feel about it?

User:Ohnogodnotagain/sig. —FUCKFACE WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [23:17 14 August 2010]

Not sure if you'd see it on my talkpage...

So just copy'n'pasted it here.

Okay, okay. Put THIS CODE into the bar. Just copy and paste all the bold text and put it in the signatures text box, then use it by signing with three tildes. {{User:Ohnogodnotagain/time|{{subst:CURRENTTIME}} {{subst:CURRENTDAY}}/{{subst:CURRENTMONTH}}/{{subst:CURRENTYEAR}}}} {{SUBST:nosubst|User:Ohnogodnotagain/sig}}

Also sign your name with ONLY THREE tildes (~~~). That's all. And glad I can help. We do try. :) —FUCKFACE WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [23:51 14 August 2010]

That code is just me fiddling and make it a little better. —FUCKFACE WHORE Mr. Antonio Yettie (talk) [23:51 14 August 2010]

Disappe, arance

Hey ONGNA, how's it going? Not heard from you in a while. --Black Flamingo