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Yes? Is it about The Edge? Look, I'm awfully sorry but... WE ARE A DEATH METAL BAND. WE ARE DEATH. Yes well, the thing is, I'm having some children from Syria for school bombing this morning... Who is it, darling? It's a couple of Death salesmen of metal bands or something... I don’t think we need any at the moment. Hi, I'm Roseanne. Well don't leave them hanging around outside darling, ask them in. Darling, I don’t think it’s quite the moment... Do come in, come along in, come and have a drink, do come on... it’s some people who sell wristbands. Do come in, please. (Full article...) Recently featured: My Brawl with Jason Voorhees on Halloween 1983 Video essay Charlie Kirk Cyberbullying Archive · Vote for featured articles · Featured today, a long long time ago Nigel Farage, featured on 26 October 2024: Featured version Did you know... *... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics? ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C? ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics? ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C? ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics? ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C? ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?	In the news One simply cannot piss until he scans this. Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky star. Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years The US government continues to shit itself Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake (Pictured) BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year Some mega pop star and her football player boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay. NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C. • World Series (now featuring endless innings!) Recent deaths: Trump's pet sloth • Robert Redford • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • The Yankees' World Series dreams • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • Ace Frehley • Another guy from KISS apparently Upcoming deaths: DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career• Coral reefs • Capitalism in NYC • MLB fans' sleep schedules • Jamaica, at the hands of Hurricane Melissa On this day... October 28th: Carpe Diem (United States) 1066 - William the Bad Motherfucker PWNZ the Saxon army. Maybe they should have stopped playing so much damn jazz and maybe picked up a sword, eh? 1492 - Christopher Columbus lands in Cuba, stocks up on Cuban cigars, Che Guevara memorabilia. 1955 - Bill Gates is born. Biblical scholars widely regard this as one of the signs of the End Times described by the Bible. 1956 - Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is born. His childhood is marked by several instances of being dropped on his head and drinking paint thinner. 1793 - Eliphalet Remington, American firearms manufacturer, was born. Americans traditionally celebrate his birthday by turning to the person on their left and shooting them.
Featured picture Eugene Krabs stands in awe before his establishment as Donald Trump enacts his wonderful tariffs. Image credit: SystemPhantom View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You now only have 3, god dammit, 3 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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