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Well, you did it man. You've packed it all up, cased your baby, and taken off for the bright lights. One man. One mission. ~~Half~~ Three-quarters of a really kick-ass song. A song that will change the lives of white males 14-21 all across Our Great Nation. You. Really. Did it. Drink it all in, future rock star of the millennium; she's all yours for the taking.

Yep, its amazing.

Yeah..!

yeah...

Right. Now, time to consider the question staring back at you from the shiny glass of the monolithic recording studio: "Did I Really Move to LA?" (Full article...)

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Did you know...

*... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?

... that Africa's space program, AIDS, has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet?
... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
... that Africa's space program, AIDS, has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet?
... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
... that Africa's space program, AIDS, has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet?
... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?

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In the news
Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support (Pictured) Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced Santa's Elves on strike UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game? Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Eurovision Recent deaths: Akira Toriyama · M. Emmet Walsh · Louis Gossett Jr. · Hype around the eclipse · O. J. Simpson Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe) UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
May 5: Cinco de Mayonnaise (Mexico) 1862 - Mexico defeats France in a drawn-out game of Risk. 1893 - New York Stock Exchange crashes, has its driving privileges suspended for a year. 1900 - Queen Victoria declares that the fish fork is henceforth the official favored piece cutlery of Great Britain. 1925 - Tennessee biology teacher John Scopes is arrested for teaching electrocution in school; is forced to teach evolution instead. 1927 - The government of South Africa declares those African clicky noises to be an official language. "It's called isiXhosa!" they click. 1989 - The United States takes some obscure Mexican holiday and fills it with cheesy gorditas. Yuck. 2014 - Greeks protest austerity, bad weather and the pebble stuck inside their left sock. 2016 - Imprisoned crime lord Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán receives an infamous "salted handy." ¡Ayayay! View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

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The Lego JFK Assassination Set was the top selling toy of 1963. Collectors have been known to pay up to twenty-seven dollars on eBay.

Image credit: Sliferjam
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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