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Edward Christopher "Ed" [insert singular 3rd person subjective pronoun]eran (born 17 February 1991 - died NEVER) is a Canadian-British singer-songwriter, actor, owner of a bar in London, and Rupert Grint lookalike. He is also known as "Teddy" on Instagram. Additionally, he is considered to be the "one true god" of his home country, and even the entire world. Asides from that, he's known to the public as the "Ginger Jesus". Ed is arguably a fad of the year 2017 and also a British nationalist. Even though his career was meant to fade away at the end of the 2010s, he manages to still make music to this day, much to everyone's annoyances. He is known to have a lot of chart hits, especially in the UK, including "The B Team", "Untitled (Take Me Into Your Loving Arms)", "Nothing Happens After Two" and most infamously, "I'm Back & I'm Desperate". However, they are most likely plagiarized, but he still gets away with it. His private life isn't very well known, thanks to having no surveillance cameras in his home and the fact that the address to it is changed every day. Despite having a male given name, Ed somehow manages to have female pronouns as part of his surname, so, logically, he would've instantly became a "she" right away. Oh fuck, how do we go by them again? (Full article...) Recently featured: John Marshall You Rob Gronkowski Kirkification Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that tickle fights are a common occurrence in soccer? (Pictured) ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth? ... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder? ... that Africa's space program has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet? ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet? ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped? ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head? ... that Big Pharma wants to get you high? ... that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (Pictured) ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand? ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society? ... that Ram Ranch really rocks? ... that your fly is unzipped? ... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat? ... that tickle fights are a common occurrence in soccer? (Pictured) ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth? ... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder? ... that Africa's space program has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet? ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet? ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped? ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head? ... that Big Pharma wants to get you high? ... that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (Pictured) ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand? ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society? ... that Ram Ranch really rocks? ... that your fly is unzipped? ... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat? ... that tickle fights are a common occurrence in soccer? (Pictured) ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth? ... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder? ... that Africa's space program has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet? ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet? ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped? ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head? ... that Big Pharma wants to get you high? ... that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (Pictured) ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand? ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society? ... that Ram Ranch really rocks? ... that your fly is unzipped? ... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat? ... that tickle fights are a common occurrence in soccer? (Pictured) ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth? ... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder? ... that Africa's space program has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet? ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet? ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped? ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head? ... that Big Pharma wants to get you high?	In the news 1977-2026 US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over Recent deaths: Uncyclopedia • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) (Pictured) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again On this day... February 17: Sheeranist New Year (United Kingdom) 1991 - Famed British musician Ed Sheeran is born. Brits rejoice that their Messiah is finally with them. 1996 - Gary Kasparov loses a game of chess to a computer, like that's never happened to anyone before. 2008 - USA bombs some country after the military finds a few extra bombs hiding in an old pair of pants. 2017 - Denmark is officially recognized as a mistake and erased from history. 2026 - You finally forget about your miserable Valentine's Day, only to be tormented by this reminder.
Featured picture I wonder what they're trying to tell us this time... Image credit: Kaizer the Bjorn View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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