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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's article on Lobsters, the lobster of articles on lobsters (not as fun as the Stephen Colbert of articles on lobsters: "Lobsters" on Wookiepedia). In deciding to look up lobsters on Uncyclopedia, you have given us an idea of what you're looking for in life. Had you looked up "Lobster" on the now infamous Lobsterpedia, we would figure you have some kind of lobster fetish. "Lobster" on Wikipedia, and you must be an oceanographer. "Lobster" on Uncyclopedia? What the hell were you expecting? What are you doing with your time? You bring shame to the famed lobster article of Uncyclopedia! Let's begin. (Full article...) Recently featured: Colin Kaepernick HowTo:Become the President of the United States Rachel Zegler Terraforming Archive · Vote for featured articles · Featured today, a long long time ago UnNews:Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; USA Joins in Support, featured on 9 May 2024: Featured version Did you know... *... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked? ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?" ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked? ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?" ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked? ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?" ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked?	In the news BREAKING: NEW POPE ALERT!!! (Pictured) Trump: "You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big." Phil Collins comes out of retirement after wank PBS and NPR to lose funding Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!) Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church Trump Administration prepares to deport everybody except Native Americans New Easter Bunny is a fascist Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and Deltarune • Eurovision • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • SWAT teams on guard for the "chicken jockey" scene of A Minecraft Movie • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers Recent deaths: Jay North • SPOILER: Joel • Pope Francis • Shedeur Sanders' career, before it even started • Lar Park Linkin • Gawr Gura • Toxicity • Girl-kisser and Harriet the Spy soundtrack artist Jill Sobule • Ruth Buzzi • LeBron James' playoff run Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global economy • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's chance at freedom On this day... May 9: Unusual Bears Day (Arctic) 1628 - Edict passes in Switzerland requiring all lawyers to deliver evidence by yodeling. (Pictured) 1671 - Pope Clement X is captured by the Queen's Guard while on a visit to England, being mistaken for that guy who stole the crown jewels in a pope costume. 1861 - At the age of seven, Oscar Wilde begins his first job, working as a Witticist's Apprentice in a local Humor Emporium. 1919 - Radical suffragettes burn down factory that makes posters comparing suffragettes to smelly dish rags, constabulary cries, "A step too far, ladies!" 1934 - Anteaters formally name themselves the Aardvark, seeking the lucrative first spot in taxonomy classifications. 1945 - The Americans celebrate single handedly defeating all of Nazi Germany, no thanks rest of the world. 1991 - Small and Medium file a complaint with the U.N. against Large, who claims, "Size does matter".
Featured picture Satan hates his job, too. You're not like Satan. Are you? Image credit: RadicalX View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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