UnNews:Zidane welcome in Spain: A new challenge for matadors

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10 July 2006

The 'raging bull' crushes the sternum of his foe, rendering both their careers doomed.

“Is it a bird, is it a bull? No, it's Zizou, the old fou!.”

“It is wrong to be French.”

~ Al Bundy on the same topic

“Shut up, you damn nitwit from our colonies!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Al Bundy

BILBAO, SPAIN -- After the hilarious actions performed by French team captain Zinedine Zidane during the World Cup final, which also earned him the Golden Headbutt Award, bullfighting organizations are bidding for the former football star: "Zinedine is a real bull, everyone could see that on Sunday."

Applying football techniques and confusing matadors with a ball, Zidane's thought to bring bullfighting back to fame. Also, Red Bull beverage brand is showing interest towards Zizou. Animal activists support Zidane's nomination. Says a spokes person: "He spares the bulls a lot of pain. And after all, we care about animals, but who cares about the French anyway?"

The matadors' union has serious concerns about Zidane. They say fighting a French maniac could be too dangerous for the toreros. Stating that a regular sword will not do to fight this kind of beast, the matadors claim new equipment, including an AK 47, hand grenades, and a cuirass.

In fact, the President of the US, Franz Beckenbauer, has declared "Zizi" a Category A threat, while at the same time the WWF (The Worried Wives' Foundation) has classed him as an endangered species.

At the same time the FIFA is considering giving Italian players Oscars for their magnificent acting performance. Italians used every chance to show their talent of faking or diving and the usual backstabbing. Apparently Italian players did not expect Zidane to be for real. The Italian coach said they are very disappointed.