From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The theory of anti-football was first proposed by Bob Dole, a contributor to the Football365 mailbox. It was first deployed to explain the phonomenon of Darren Fletcher being selected in the Manchester United team. The theory of anti-football explains this mystery by identifying Fletcher as the counter-balance to Wayne Rooney. Whereas Rooney is the all-round footballer, Fletcher isn't good at anything. Fletcher is the anti-football equivalent of Rooney, just as every particle has an anti-particle.

However, most fans would indicate that anti-football was actually invented by Arsenal FC when their fans were happy to go home with a 1-0 win after witnessing hundreds of examples of the offside trap at its very best - the ultimate anti-football tactic! - thus earing them the reputation of 'boring, boring, Arsenal'.

World best anti-footballer Beckham

This theory has been developed to explain the fact that the entire Liverpool team balance out Steven Gerrard's performances. Any evidence to the contrary as provided by Sky Sports must be ignored, for they are the enemy of football and deserve to rot in hell like all the other infidels.

Many experts on anti-football are deeply worried about Arsenal FC, who exhibit such extreme anti-football that there is no known counter-balance. This represents a threat to the universe much greater than terrorism and global warming combined.

Ilija Petkovic, coach of national team of Serbia and Montenegro, made this theory to practise and had exceptional results. He took a player, Dejan Stankovic, who is all-round anti-footballer and balanced his play with 10 others anti-footballers - in that way he got anti-anti-footballers team, which, using the rule of double negation, got his "footballers team" that made into Worldchamp in Germany 2006. IN his addressing to nation, he thanked to Phil B.

Other examples of anti-football include Glasgow Rangers and the entire Irish League, where the sport is generally cosidered to be an afterthought ie the standard of football on offer is so low that engaging in a punch-up with the nearest spectator is regarded as a more rewarding endeavor (that or tearing up the terrace). The exception to the latter is Donegal Celtic who have yet to learn precisely what that strange spherical object is actually used for. An alternative exapmle is the Norn Iron national side ("We're Not Brazil, We're Norn Iron") who aspire to be the England national squad's C-team.

The first phrase in modern football was by Frank Rjikaard, who claimed celtic played "Anti Football" in the UEFA cup run which celtic were ran apart in.