AFC Ajax

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Meh, nobody cares about this article.

Ajax' logo

Amsterdamsche Football Club Ajax (Dutch pronunciation: [ˈaːjok]), also referred to as AFC Ajax, Ajax Amsterdam or simply Ajax (after the legendary cleaning product), is a Dutch professional football club based in Amsterdam.

History[edit | edit source]

AFC Ajax is the legendary football (soccer) club located in Amsterdam for over 100 years now. Starting off as a club for Jews, it soon became the richest, most powerful club in the world after WW2. After a short period of power in the early 70's, all credited to a mentally incapable person known as number 14 - who stated such quotes as: "I'm opposed to everything, until I make a decision, than I'm in favor of it" and "You must score to win" - the club fell into a dark hole, which it has as of yet not climbed out of.

Feyenoord's message to Ajax, after once again conceding 4 goals in De Kuip.

Fans[edit | edit source]

Ajax has a large Jewish fan base. They show their support during matches by waving Israëli flags and stealing money, and not eating pork I guess. There are, however, two distinct camps of fans which support the club. One of them is a gathering of farmers known as Vak 410, the other ones are a gathering of over-aged shirtless men whose lives are so dilapidated that their last straw of hope is embedded in a football club. However, due to this club being Ajax, their lives can just be branded as being pathetic.

Proposed new Ajax logo, they are a bunch of gay sailors after all.

Quality[edit | edit source]

There is a reason non-UK'ers are not supposed to play sucker in the first place, so they can pursue more meaningful hobbies like masturbation and sticking it to your mom. When they do decide to play sucker, they suck. And I mean, they suck more than Paris Hilton would do if she was to reenact the Houston 500. I mean, they think they are pretty good, but when it all comes down to it, they just suck, which surprisingly does not make them any better at sucker.

Style of Play[edit | edit source]

Ajax is known for having a very aggressive style of play. They will kick, bite and scratch like little girls just to get their way. They typically play in the 4-4-3 formation, until somebody realises you are not supposed to have that many players on the field. Then they switch to 4-3-2, but then they fall one short of a full eleven. So, and this happens every game, they decide to switch to 4-3-3, but end up with ball boys and the handicaps being lined up for the game. Seriously, I am a fan of the club and it is just plain embarrassing. It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob.