Can Soccer

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“In Soviet Russia, soccer cans you!!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Can Soccer

“Back in the day when Can Soccer was illegal, talcum powder fetched street prices higher than cocaine.”

French national Can Soccer team warming up for the FIFA Can Soccer World Cup (Hosted by Bulgaria in 2006)

Can soccer is a sport which was stolen from a group of boys living in singapore, these boys made this page last year on uncyclopedia, but after a week their page was deleted for unknown reasons. Then this page was made just as a copy.. SO NOTE THAT CAN FOOTBALL WAS THE ORIGINAL THIS IS A FAKE COPY WHICH IS VERY CHEAP!!!

Can Soccer is a team sport played between two teams of two or more players each. It is widely considered to be the most ghetto sport in the world. Using a flattened soda can, it is played in a rectangular room lined with smooth tiles and covered in talcum powder, with a goal at each end of the field. The object of the game is to score by manoeuvring the can into the opposing goal by using only ones feet. The team that scores the most goals by the end of the match (signified with the sounding of the end-of-lunch bell) wins.

History[edit | edit source]

The sport was at first founded by the Year 11 (2008) students of Xavier College, Melbourne (Australia) where an almost frictionless tiled alcove was used to play on the days leading up to the end of the year examinations between two teams of four known as Team Airwolf and the Italian Stallions. Since then, it has made enormous leaps in refinement and popularity, with the introduction of the official Can Soccer Ga


Rules[edit | edit source]

There are few rules in Can Soccer, but they include:

1. All players are forbidden to use their arms or hands to manoeuvre the can.

2. Players may use their arms to ward off other players, but can only push, and not grab. The face or crotch are not to be touched.

3. Players must wear shoes with relatively flat soles to allow for sliding along the tiles.

4. After a goal is scored, players must stand behind halfway to allow the keeper room to kick off.

5. Any intruders on the field are to be ignored and play is to continue as usual. However an exception is made for authority.

6. If someone wishes to use the pay-phone situated in the middle of the play-field, they are free to do so, but must serve as an annoying distracting prick for both teams by consistently trapping the can beneath his own feet before mumbling a vague 'sorry...'.

Popularity[edit | edit source]

Just one of the many pricks who get in the way of this epic sport

As stated above, Can Soccer is considered to be a 'ghetto' sport, and is therefore played almost exclusively by underground groups. The popularity of can soccer has grown due to the challenge of maintaining ones balance while frequently changing directions while pursuing the sliding can. Homeless people find Can Soccer a hilariously entertaining popular sport because it is cheap and easy to play if you have some friends.