UnNews:Brits get their ass kicked
Sunday, July 14, 2024
After the United States have been struck with shocking news that former president Trump got shoot (but not killed); the English have recieved big news that has shaked their country. And that's because England just got their ass kicked at their own game, football- no, not that football, I mean actual football. We're speaking about the finale of this year's UEFA European Football Championship, which the English were very sure they were going to win- but didn't.
Meanwhile, the rest of Europe rejoices that England didn't get to win the match; specially years after the whole brexit incident. This view is best explained by an anonymous footbal hooligan, who comments:
| “ | I don't care who wins, I just want to see England lose | ” |
What's more insulting to the English people is that they lost to none other than Spain, the same people famous for having a nap for eight hour straight -or, as they call it, a siesta-, and their "Let Someone Else Do It" philosophy. In honor of the new winners, the rest of the article will be written in Spanish language:
¡Chupadme la polla putos ingleses! ¡La selección española os ha pateado el culo en vuestro propio juego! ¡Que os jodan a vosotros y a vuestro puto rey asmático! ¡Viva España, cojones! ¡Olé! 🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸
Sources[edit | edit source]
- "Prince William and Prince George look heartbroken as England lose to Spain in Euros 2024 - after Cole Palmer's goal gave the royals hope" Fucking Daily Mail, July 14, 2024