|
> visit main page
|
Ahhh. Long day of work over. Time to grab that big-ass bowl of vegetable beef barley soup in the fridge.
Bill, you better not have touched my soup again! Like that time you got so drunk you took a whiz in it. Twice. Come to think of it, it was shitty soup. That probably improved it. Not like this one.
Let's see, cake, milk, horse semen, ketchup, monkey, hair roller thingy, soup! Yes! My life is whole again!
Hold on...
Why is my hair roller in here?
Wait...
This horse semen tastes funny. Did you put your semen in here again, Bill?
Don't ask how I know what yours tastes like. We were drunk. Not my fault.
Just a minute...
WHY IS THERE A MONKEY IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE?!? (Full article...)
|
Did you know...
|
- ... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings?
- ... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
- ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
- ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
- ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
- ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
- ... that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and morons?
- ... that I started drowning two minutes before typing this? (Pictured)
 - ... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
- ... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia?
- ... that women get periods, but men get commas?
- ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
- ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
- ... that Wikipedia contains millions of articles written by countless anonymous contributors? (Pictured)
- ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
- ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
- ... that other people can prevent forest fires too?
- ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
- ... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
- ... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured)
- ... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?
- ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
- ... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
- ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
- ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
- ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
- ... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?
 - ... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
- ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
- ... that Iran is all set to invade itself?
- ... that there is one imposter among us?
- ... that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
|
|
|
Recent Articles ---------------------- -->
Writer and Noob of the Month
|
|
Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
|
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
|
| Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.
|
Uncyclopedia Languages
|
| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,068 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Arabic!:
|
Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.
|
