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Foreign accent syndrome is a rare psychiatric disorder that, in its milder form, causes people it affects to pronounce words in a foreign accent. The disorder usually follows a brain injury caused by non-perforating head trauma, as perforating head trauma is much too gory for a proper mental illness. In extreme cases, victims of FAS can actually acquire knowledge of the foreign language associated with their new accent, slang terms and humorous exaggerated versions of national stereotypes included. A victim who develops a Lithuanian accent might acquire the Lithuanian language, tell other people to "Laizhyk asilo shikna", piss on bottles of Švyturys Ekstra, and date his sister.

As of the present, there is no known cure or treatment for FAS, and scientists have yet to completely unravel how the disorder works. People afflicted with the disorder are usually shunned within their community and turned into social pariahs. Fortunately, there are government sponsored programs that let victims of FAS assimilate in foreign countries where their accents are accepted. (Full article...)

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Did you know...

... that Joseph Stalin (Pictured) is the the real Man of Steel?

... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured)

... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian?
... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives?
... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder?
... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
... that Africa's space program has had several successful launches to altitudes over 11 feet?
... that Ben Stiller's face makes everything funny?

... that 9/11 (Pictured) was an outside job?

... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
... that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it?
... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state?
... that if you put an ear up to a person's leg you can hear them say, "What the fuck are you doing?"
... that the police are at your door?

... that the Easter Bunny must kill every 100 years? (Pictured)

... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe?
... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty?
... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?

... that you wash your ass not your pussy (Pictured) in the Bidet?

... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic?
... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
... that The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?

... that the history of Great Britain (Pictured) is greater than Frosties?

... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians?
... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?
... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
... that you should invest in chicken stock?
...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?

... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured)

... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO!
... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe?
... that Alexander isn't really that Great?

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On this day...
February 28: Finnish Cultural Appreciation Day 1835 - The Finnish Tourism Board publishes the Kalevala, an obvious ripoff of Tolkien, and declares the day a national holiday. 1847 - American forces nearly capture the Mexican town of Chihuahua, but are quickly torn to shreds by packs of those selfsame canines. 1935 - Nylon is invented, to fill the niche of fabrics that don't sufficiently chafe your nipples. 1939 - The word dord is unjustly removed from the dictionary by pernicious grammarians with no sense of humor. 1991 - The Gulf War ends, troops glad they never have to go back to Iraq or the Middle East ever again. 1993 - The ATF lay siege to a cult compound in Waco, Texas, decide to use guns instead of trebuchets. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

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